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My Heart is the Hardest to Break

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~two weeks earlier~

 

Lexa wasn’t averagely one to have a mental break down in front of a bunch of by-passers, but this map made absolutely no sense and she was going to be late if she couldn’t find her class soon. She’s never been late to a class before and she’s not exactly excited about breaking that record.

She was beginning to panic if the fingers combing through curly long brunette locks of hair was any indication. She’s been in circles now twice and nothing at all makes any sense. She looks at the time on her phone and only feels her heart rate increase and her chest tighten. She’s going to miss a class on her first god damn day because she can’t find anything, and these maps don’t make sense and the first person she asked for help snorted at her and just shoved past her, knocking into her shoulder like she was insignificant speck intruding on their life. It was rather rude and if Lexa wasn’t already so worried about being late she’d be more pissed off than panicked.

“Hello, you look a little lost.” Lexa’s hand is tightly wound in her hair, gripping the strands as she takes her eyes off the useless map in her other hand to meet pretty blue irises.

She feels her face flush with embarrassment, her hand dropping from her hair so she can shove the shaky palm in the front pocket of her jeans. “A little yeah,” She mumbles out nervously, watching the blonde girl in front of her offer her a friendly dazzling smile. She’s quite pretty… which really doesn’t help Lexa’s nerves any.

“What are you trying to find? I can help you.” The blonde girl takes a cautious step forward, closer to her. Long blonde hair cascading down her shoulders and hanging loosely around her face. Light make-up and a white button up with about three buttons un-done at the top that Lexa tries not to stare at.

Really this girl is doing absolutely nothing for her nervousness. “Art History,” Lexa bites her bottom lip briefly and looks down at the map again. “I can’t find this building.” She points to it on the map as she tips it over into the pretty blonde’s eyesight, feeling anxious because of the fact that she’s interacting with someone so attractive more so than the fact that she’s been lost for the past thirty minutes.

“Yes, because it doesn’t exist anymore, they really should update these maps, follow me they moved all of the classes that used to be here this way.” The girl smiles charmingly, and Lexa feels her heart stutter for a minute. If Anya were here she’d probably roll her eyes because she already knows how uselessly gay Lexa is.

“Thank you,” She mumbles too quietly, falling in step beside the blonde as she takes her toward her class, going completely the opposite way than the map says to go. She balls it up in her hand and tosses it in the nearest bin as they pass it. Useless, useless piece of material.

“I’m Clarke by the way, what’s your name?” Clarke is still smiling, looking soft with the sunlight in her hair and warm with the slight twinkle in bright blue eyes. Lexa wonders who sculpted her because she couldn’t be human. She’s way too pretty to be real.

“Lexa,” She answers shyly, blushing slightly as Clarke’s eyes seem to scrutinize the details of her face as they walk, like she’s trying to match detail to syllables.

“Lexa,” Clarke says the name like she’s tasting the way it feels on her tongue. “Pretty.” She says after a beat of silence and Lexa’s thinks her heart is also a useless piece of material as well because it can’t even sit still when a pretty girl says she likes her name.

She blushes and tries her hardest not to make it noticeable, letting her hair come down around her face and keeping her eyes on the sidewalk as they head toward whatever direction Clarke is taking them in. “So, what brings you to Polis Lexa?”

She licks her lips as she swallows briefly and tries to get a handle on her own nerves. She feels fantastically bad at conversation in this moment and it’s slightly irritating. “My sister Anya.”

Clarke seems to contemplate that for a moment, looking quite thoughtful and curious as her eyes travel in front of them before looking back at Lexa again. “Hmm, Woods?” She asks and Lexa wonders how well Clarke must know her sister. Or maybe they just have a class together and she’s seen her? Either way, Clarke knows her sister and she can’t tell if that’s going to be a bad or good thing, though she’s hoping it’s a good thing.

“Yeah.” Clarke pulls the door open to the building Lexa hadn’t even realized was there before for her and she nervously passes her across the threshold of the structure.

“Just down here.” Clarke’s smile is still there, big and genuine and kind of really beautiful and Lexa finds she’s having a hard time keeping her eyes on the ground and not looking at her and the way her smile makes the blue in her eyes sparkle.

“Thank you again, I was starting to panic.” She admits with a shaky voice… she really is a useless gay.

“You looked like it, can’t have someone as gorgeous as you freaking out on your first day can we?” Clarke winks at her as they stop outside a room with the name “KANE” stapled on the glass of the door. The blush rushes up Lexa’s neck and invades her cheekbones before she can even think to stop it or at least take precautions to hide it because she learned long ago that she was an easy blusher.

Clarke most certainly notices, if the smile on her face that stretches into a smirk is any hint that she’s not doing very well at hiding it. “If you need any more help after, my class is just the one down the hall on the left, they get out around the same time.” The blonde shrugs and looks nonchalant but Lexa feels anything but, a racing heart and a nervous twitch to her hands that she hopes Clarke won’t notice.

“Thank you.” Lexa mumbles shyly again, feeling embarrassed that she can’t seem to untie her tongue long enough to say something else.

“See you around Lexa.” Clarke grins and Lexa watches her walk away, noticing the slight sway of her hips she does. Blushing again she quickly looks away before Clarke can catch her and rushes into her classroom with a soft sigh of relief that she won’t be breaking her attendance record.

 

***

 

~present time~

 

“I’m sorry what’s the point of this again?” Lexa shrugs, the glass of cider in her hand being nursed closely, her lips on the rim even when she’s not drinking it, eyes gazing at the delicate patterns of the abstract painting in front of them.

“I don’t know it’s art.” Lexa shrugs as Anya lets out the loudest and most obnoxious sound, as if staring at art makes her physically uncomfortable. She’s always been one for the over-dramatic, but Lexa has been quite enjoying herself despite Anya’s near incessant request to leave every thirty seconds. There’s just something about being surrounded by art that makes Lexa’s heart feel a little whole.

“The only one here that makes any sense is that one Griffin did, and I hate her.” Lexa shrugs, eyes leaving the painting they’re staring at to run across the gallery back to the very painting Anya had just mentioned. It was pretty, a landscape of watercolor, the setting sun on the glittering water and Lexa felt pretty drawn to it… She’s always had kind of a thing for watching sunsets.

“I mean, she would probably take your compliment as an insult anyways.” Lexa takes another sip of her cider as Anya lets out one of those loud sighs again. Lexa only finds it kind of amusing.

“I want to go home, we’re getting extra credit for this right?” Anya says with her head tilted back so she’s staring up at the ceiling.

“Yep.” Lexa mumbles, a pop of the “P” coming from her lips as she turns from the painting to head toward Clarke’s extravagant landscape of watercolors. Anya unwilfully follows her, a soft groan of protest like Lexa has ahold of her wrist and is dragging her across the building in that painting’s general direction.

“Ah, what are you doing here?” Clarke says with a small smirk, lips tilted up slightly as she meets Lexa’s gaze. She’s got her normal air of nonchalance that Lexa doesn’t normally bother with or pay much attention to but it’s hard not to notice her when she’s there. There’s something about Clarke that’s always been… eye catching. Almost as much as any work of art in this gallery, not that Lexa would ever admit that out loud… in fact even just thinking it is kind of a direct offense to Anya.

“Extra credit.” Anya glares at her and that smirk that had been along her lips dissipates and turns into a frown as her gaze leaves Lexa to meet Anya. Lexa is relatively new to Anya’s… rivals she could call it? Anya’s group of friends that are Lexa’s by association have a… rivalry, yes, that’s the right word, and Clarke happens to lead those rivals? Lexa doesn’t know, whenever she thinks of the complicated social situation her head swims.

All she knows is because of it, she’s had an abundance of erasers flicked at the back of her head and Raven Reyes keeps trying to make something of hers blow up she’s pretty sure at this point. She tries to stay out of it as best she can, as she doesn’t see how it’s much of her business but… the rivalry comes with her sister and well… that just makes her apart of it too.

“I can hardly believe someone like you is related to someone like…” Clarke eyes drift back to Lexa and her smile returns, it warm and inviting and nothing like the fake smirks she gives when the gang of her friends are around to witness her behavior. Maybe it’s because Lexa had picked her books up for her after Anya had rudely knocked them out of Clarke’s hand on her second day, but it was only yet another part of the situation that made her head swim. “her.”

Lexa doesn’t mean to blush, but she thinks she does, never having been very good with compliments she lets her eyes trail away from the pretty blonde who happens to be her sister’s rival and stares at the watercolor landscape too hard. “And you’ll stay away from her.” Anya’s arm is slipping into her own protectively and Lexa chances another look at Clarke’s charming smile after she thinks the blush has cleared from her cheekbones.

“Sure that’s what you want, Lexa?” Clarke is grinning from ear to ear and Lexa is confused by the question. Clarke’s interest has nothing to do with being romantic of course, only to get under Anya’s skin. She learned that on her first day when she mentioned meeting a pretty girl to Anya and her sister’s head about exploded before she launched into a full-blown lecture on why Clarke was someone Lexa was never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER allowed to be interested in.

She doesn’t play along because it’s still none of her business. “Yes, it is.” Anya answers and drags Lexa away from her. “It doesn’t matter how charming she might be to you. It’s a façade. You’re pretty and new and she prays on the sweet.” Anya mutters bitterly. Glancing behind her presumably at Clarke with a snarl on her face before she properly turns away.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?” Lexa answers with a short chuckle escaping from her throat, her head turning to glance back at the blonde as well who’s still watching her, that smirk there and genuine. She winks and Lexa forces herself to look away as a new blush descends upon her cheekbones.

“Ask around campus Lexa. Clarke’s played the field, she’s off limits anyway because we don’t fuck with her and her stupid delinquents, but I don’t like the way she’s been looking at you.” Anya sneers as they reach the hall toward the entrance, turning around a corner that hangs plenty of abstract paintings that Anya hates, and Lexa has spent about an hour trying to dissect.

Lexa chuckles. “I’m pretty sure she only does it because it makes you so mad.” She admits, burying the hope that, that’s not all it is. She doesn’t want to examine that hope, unsure of its meaning. She’d rather dismiss it as her wanting to be a little flattered than her wanting Clarke to actually be interested.

“Either way, you don’t need to become a conquest and before you protest I know you can handle yourself, I’m just saying, pick anyone else Lex, now can we leave yet, you think?” Anya’s already tugging her further down the hallway toward the exit and the sign out sheet before she even verbally answers.

“Probably, the professor said thirty minutes.” They’ve been here well past that, but then again, that was mostly Lexa’s fault.

Anya lets out a long-relieved sigh. “Oh, thank god lets sign out than.”

 

***

 

“How was the art show?” Costia asks brightly when Lexa comes through the door an hour later. Her roommate was far too pretty to be sharing a room with Lexa, it made the brunette feel like such a creep because she couldn’t deny the small crush bubbling in her chest for her. All she had to do was smile and Lexa would be blushing. She was unreasonably pretty but then again Lexa was unreasonably bad at acting normal around very pretty girls.

It was kind of ridiculous. “It was alright, Anya hated it.” She lets out a long sigh of her own that she’s been holding back and flops onto her bed.

“Yeah, she would, but she’s not an art major and Indra’s class is an elective.” Costia snickers, rolling her eyes but not out of malice. Costia was one of Anya’s close friends, Lexa only got lucky that she was roomed with her, though she’s sure the girl misses having the space to herself.

She hasn’t hinted at it though, having welcomed Lexa from day one. “Didn’t help that Clarke was there.” She informs her roommate who chuckles at that, holding a t-shirt to her chest as she folds it. Lexa watches her a moment before looking away at the ceiling.

“Oh right, your sister and Griffin still at war?” Of course she knows the answer to that, she’s close enough with Anya to know that a feud like theirs will probably never end, unfortunately. Lexa thinks it would be better for Anya if it did, as the feud seemed to cause a lot of stress that the brunette had yet to figure out how to solve for her.

“Oh yeah.” She lets a heavy sigh escape from her chest as if to emphasis the complicated mess the entire situation actually is. If anyone understands how Lexa feels about it, it’s definitely Costia.

“Must be kind of weird huh? I bet it’s hard for Clarke to be mean to you.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow, turning her head to look at Costia as she folds a pair of jeans. “Why do you say that?” She asks cluelessly, watching her as she stacks the jeans in a pile of pants she’s already folded on her bed.

Costia blushes now. “I mean. You’re really pretty and Clarke has a thing for… well, girls.” She makes a vague motion with her hand and Lexa wonders if when Clarke flirts with her if it’s actually genuine instead of her just trying to get under Anya’s skin. She won’t admit the small hope that bubbles inside of her from that thought, she won’t admit that it makes her face a little warm with a new blush that has nothing to do with Costia calling her pretty.

Though if Lexa’s being fair, she doesn’t quite notice Costia calling her pretty until a few moments later, after she’s properly thought fully about what Costia has said. She tries not to blush even more, but she really can’t escape it. “You know Clarke well?” She asks, turning her face away and hoping she’s wearing enough make-up that her cheeks aren’t glowing.

“We have a few classes together, did a project last term that was like 25% of our grade. She’s really nice, not my type but kind of a player so that’s kind of why.” Costia shrugs, focusing back on her clothes.

Lexa lets silence take over for a moment as her eyebrows furrow in thought. She’s heard this before of course but she’s never exactly asked Anya to elaborate on it. “Player?”

“Yeah you know, she’s a bit unattached, not sure she ever can be attached.” Costia shrugs and continues folding her clothes. Lexa tries not to be as curious as she is about the blonde girl, but she can’t help it as she falls onto her bed.

Clarke’s… intriguing. Not that she’d admit that out loud, or that it means anything with romantic potential, or that Lexa will investigate of course. As long as the admission stays in her head and out of sight she’s safe anyways. “And you like attached?” Lexa asks instead of veering onto the path of more questions about Clarke. The less she knows about her the better anyway, she’s trying to follow Anya’s instructions on steering clear.

Costia smiles a bit to herself, glances at Lexa as she answers. “Definitely.”

 

***

 

There’s something about a soft sunset that’s Lexa’s particular favorite to stare at. In general, most of her thoughts about it are as cliché and unoriginal as the next, but it still doesn’t stop her eyes from being glued to the look. There was this spot on campus, above everything that just made it so clear and made everything else so utterly small.

Lexa liked that it was quiet up here as well. That there wasn’t a thousand and one people trying to get things done, shoving past her almost as if she wasn’t there. She liked that it was just her and the sky and nothing else really came between them. She liked that it wasn’t confusing as well and up here there was no feud or rivalries or off limits pretty girls.

She’s been thinking that maybe she should go home, but she probably won’t. She’s here now, here and stuck and that’s just how it is. Anya needs her, even if she hasn’t directly vocalized that need, she really needs her right now and she’s not about to leave her sister when she needs her most. She pulls her knees to her chest, wraps her arms around herself and rests her chin atop her knee. The sunset is glittering toward her, magnificent and stunning as it always is.

She wonders what the sun would look like if it were a person. If that person would be too hard to stare at? The thought fades away with the image of Clarke that pops up in her head. Clarke isn’t the sun though, she’s something else. Something almost deeply confusing to Lexa for having only met her a few weeks ago. She’s really curious how Clarke and her friends have managed to become rivals of Anya and her friends. She’s never asked, she kind of doesn’t want to, afraid of the story she could be given.

Maybe she’s more afraid of Anya trying to taint the painted image of Clarke that’s in Lexa’s head already. She does it every day, something short and small that goes with the rivalry mumbled in Lexa’s ear whenever they see her. But Lexa doesn’t know how someone so… beautiful could be so ugly. She doesn’t exactly believe it, at least for Clarke it doesn’t feel like that’s possible.

She wonders if Clarke mumbles a lot of the same things to her friends about Anya that Anya mutters to her. She probably does, like an endless vicious cycle, though Clarke seems to take it as more of a game than anything else. Or maybe that’s the true façade, like she doesn’t give a damn. Like she doesn’t care about anything.

Lexa wonders how far that façade goes, allowing herself in this moment, with only the sunset to accompany her, to let her curiosity of the blonde expand and be examined. It’s inevitable she thinks of her. She’s been thinking of her since they met. All pretty eyes and nice smile and walking Lexa to her class. Her smile didn’t even change when she guessed Lexa’s last name after Lexa dropped Anya’s name. Her smile was the same. But was that smile a façade too?

Is Clarke never real, or is that just how she wants to be perceived?

“I see you found my spot?” Lexa jumps, green eyes leaving the sunset to meet the stare of the very girl on her mind. What are the odds? Probably limited… or maybe they’re pretty high as this is the most beautiful spot on campus, so why wouldn’t someone as talented as Clarke, who is an artist, notice it before she ever did?

She doesn’t say anything, the pickup of her heart rate representing her nerves. She doesn’t know what it is about Clarke that makes her palms sweat but she just tightens her grip around her knees and stays in the same position she had been previously, eyes still on the sunset.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Clarke’s voice is low and soft and so… gentle. It’s the same as it was the first time they met and Lexa wonders how many people hear her voice like this, or if she only ever uses it in quiet moments, with no one to notice or bear witness to such tender behavior.

Lexa only shakes her head but doesn’t speak. For some reason she’s afraid too. She can smell Clarke as she sits next to her, the wind strong enough to breeze across her skin and carry her pretty scent between them. What is it? Vanilla or cinnamon or both?

“You don’t talk much do you?” Clarke breaks the silence again and Lexa still doesn’t look at her apart from the corner of her eye. Clarke isn’t looking at the sunset. There’s a pad in her hand, a pencil behind her ear. She looks pretty with the fading sunlight on her face.

Lexa pretends she’s not thinking it. “That’s okay, I can work with that.” Clarke smirks at her before she flips open her notebook. “Could I draw you?” She asks so casually that Lexa thinks she’s hearing things at first.

But she’s not hearing things and Lexa’s attention is fully caught, her eyebrows raising to her hairline and her back straightening as she sits up from her previous hunched over position. “What?” She says in a small voice, too small for her liking actually.

Clarke only chuckles. “Sorry is that crazy? You’re just… really,” Clarke’s eyes carry over her, glance at the sunset and then over her again. “Something about you I just really want to draw.” And it’s not a shy admission, Clarke is confident about it. She doesn’t care that it makes the tips of Lexa’s ears turn pink and the hot blush travels across her face without her permission.

She wishes she didn’t blush so easily. “I guess,” She mumbles quietly, too quietly. She needs to find her voice but she’s feeling rather shy all the sudden.

She takes her eyes from the pretty scene that is Clarke with the sunset in her hair and forces her eyes to stay on where they had been. She takes back her earlier thought, someone can look like the sun, and yes, it’s a bit hard to look at them. “It’s kind of a tick you know, when I see something so… captivating I have to draw it.”

“Captivating?” She squeaks out, gripping her arms even tighter around her knees now. The blush on her face is never going to go away, she’s going to die with it she’s sure.

“Don’t tell me you don’t think you’re captivating?” Clarke is grinning at her charmingly. “Something about you Lexa, your kind of mysterious you know.” Clarke begins to draw but Lexa tries hard to ignore the scrapping of her pencil because if she focuses on it, she’ll focus on what Clarke is drawing and she really will die with this blush on her face.

“Not really,” She mumbles again, too quiet, too small. Where is her voice?

“Actually, you are. You’re nothing like Anya.” Clarke is watching her so intently, like she’s printing her into her brain to memorize every edge she must draw. She feels self-conscious but tries hard not to show it, tries hard to ignore the urge to retreat behind her hair. “You’re so…” Clarke exhales slightly. “Sweet.”

Lexa smiles slightly, the blush no longer a light pink but she’s sure is as red as roses. “I heard you like sweet girls?” She doesn’t mean for it to sound the way it sounds. It sounds… like she wants something a lot more than she should. It sounds… inviting, like she wants Clarke closer.

She’s so confused that she isn’t sure that’s actually far off, not that she’s going to admit it out loud or even allow herself to let it happen because Clarke Griffin is off limits… she can already hear Anya’s voice in her head. “I do.” Clarke is grinning ear to ear; a small blush is surfacing across her cheekbones now as well and Lexa wonders when she turned her head fully from the sunset to look at her and how long she’s been doing it.

Clarke’s a lot like the sunset if she’s honest with herself, it may be hard to watch her but it’s also hard to look away from her. “You’re not supposed to like me.” She says without much thought, because in all actuality, she’s not supposed to like Clarke either.

Clarke chuckles. “Because of Anya and her gang?” Clarke scoots closer to her, examining her closely though her pencil is placed back in her hair, right behind her left ear. “They don’t tell me what to do. We could be friends you know?” She’s got that charming smirk back on her face, lips tilted up and Lexa can’t help that her eyes slip to them, studying them.

She looks away from the girl’s mouth, but Clarke has already caught her. She can only hope Clarke won’t say anything. “I don’t think so.” She replies after she seems to visibly swallow her nerves.

Clarke’s eyes are twinkling, and the soft light of the sunset makes them look bluer. “No probably not. My friends… wouldn’t like that either.”

Lexa bites her bottom lip briefly. “Are you finished?”

“No.” Clarke’s pencil is back in her left hand, moving along the page as she stares at Lexa, as she draws every line with the sun going down in front of them. Lexa’s heart is pounding like this moment means a lot more to them than it does. They don’t know each other that well, it’s not significant but god is Lexa’s mind all over the place with a fluttering heart beat in her chest.

“Can I see it when you’re done?” She musters up the courage to ask quietly after a long moment of silence. The sun is almost gone now, the sky full of orange and pink but soon to be replaced by darkness.

“Yes, you can keep it if you let me draw you again sometime?” Clarke tugs the page out of her notebook and admires it for a second, eyes examining every single last inch she had just roughly sketched. “I need some practice drawing you.” She mumbles after a moment, quieter than the rest of her words almost as if it’s an afterthought, or one in her head that had escaped without her permission.

“Practice?” Lexa quirks an eyebrow curiously, wondering why Clarke would even want to draw her again, or even wanted to draw her in the first place. She didn’t feel like “captivating” was the right answer.

“It’s not… you’re hard to capture. A challenge.” Clarke’s eyes leave the sketch to meet Lexa’s and she wonders what the look on her face means, the furrow to her brows, the slight frown now stapled there like she can’t get out of her own head.

“Am I?” The blush is back, and Lexa doesn’t quite know why.

“You are.” Clarke snaps the book shut and with it whatever thoughts had seemed to be suddenly troubling her and places the paper in Lexa’s lap that she isn’t looking at, but where the wind won’t be able to carry it. “Maybe if you’re here tomorrow, I can draw you again?” Clarke is asking her, eyes full of something real for the first time since that moment they met.

Lexa’s heart pounds. “Maybe I’ll be here.” She mumbles around the words and Clarke stands, the sky already beginning to darken.

“Goodnight Lexa.” And Lexa watches her leave down the path she had come up. Her heart racing with each further step she takes. She almost wants to call her back, but she doesn’t know what for or what she even wanted to say that wasn’t off limits along with Clarke herself being off limits.

She lets out a soft huff, pulls the page in her lap between her hands and stares at what Clarke sees, or perceives her to look like. The lines of her face a slightly rough sketch, it’s only pencil but something about it makes her stomach twist. She doesn’t think she looks like this. What Clarke has drawn feels like someone else, someone more beautiful, stunning even and possibly wistful.

She looks up at the sky, the sun gone now from sight and she thinks that maybe Clarke is nothing at all like the things she’s heard.

 

***

 

“Someone fix Lexa’s lipstick please,” Anya shouts over the crowd of people, clambering into the elevator. Costia is next to her, urging Lexa’s face to look at her with the tips of her fingers on her jawline. Lexa’s ears turn pink as her thumb swipes below her bottom lip.

“I got it,” Costia tells her sweetly, smiling as she reapplies the red gently and wiping away the excess. “If you hadn’t of rushed her out while she was in the middle of this, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” Costia offers Anya a playful glare as Anya rolls her eyes, ignoring her as the elevator climbs upward.

“Thanks, Costia,” Lexa smiles once Costia is done, eyes twinkling into her roommate’s. The elevator dings and the doors slide open causing Lexa’s gaze to slip away, the scramble of people escaping toward the place down the hallway with the booming music.

“No one let Lexa leave in an hour, she’s staying until we all leave.” Anya pipes up from her place at the front and there’s a rumble of agreement as they approach the room like they all realize within the span of a two-week period that Lexa isn’t particularly keen on parties. At least not ones that are so loud you can’t hear your own thoughts and so full of alcohol that no one is safe.

She hasn’t been here long, and in that time, she’s only been to two parties despite there being one at least every night, both of which she’s left within the hour of arriving at. It’s perhaps her own fault that Anya is setting this rule.

Lexa lets out along drawn out sigh. “Prisoned.” She mumbles under her breath though it’s loud enough to be heard by everyone else, not quite close enough to the music yet to drown her out the way it normally would.

Luna snorts behind her. “With a night of fun though.” She offers supportively, her touch brief on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Lexa’s idea of fun is staying up past midnight watching re-runs of Friends.” Lincoln teases, making Lexa roll her eyes.

“I’ve been her roommate for exactly two weeks and it’s not Friends, its more like Planet Earth.” Costia bumps her shoulder into Lexa’s with a smile that’s as warm as the sun on a spring day.

“Okay, shut up.” Lexa pipes in and the group laughs, following Anya through the door of the party, the music even louder after they cross the threshold. For an apartment the lights are crazy, skittering and switching in a way that needs a seizure warning. “How long do we have to be here again?” Lexa shouts into Anya’s ear so she can hear her over the music.

Her sister rolls her eyes. “For a while Lexa, loosen up.”

Out of the two parties Lexa’s been too since she transferred to Polis University neither one of them were fun. It’s just a mix of loud music and overly drunk and even high people getting too handsy. Plus, loud music has never been her favorite. She likes the classical stuff, singer-song writer music. Not that she can’t enjoy a song with a good beat but a college party kind of takes the fun out of it.

“Let’s start with a drink!” Costia slips her arm into Lexa’s and tugs her away from the rest of the group toward where they’re keeping the alcohol. She doesn’t protest but the loss of how safe she feels surrounded by Anya and her friends is felt as it becomes just her and Costia, alone near alcohol. well, alone with about a hundred strangers. “As your roommate, it’s my duty to get you home safely. Your sister’s um, rivals are here.” Costia mumbles in her ear, lips nearly brushing the shell.

Lexa’s head whips up at that, in search of them. “Where?” She asks with a pang in her heart, because she’s most certainly not interested in seeing them because of one particular blonde person at all. No, she’s only interested because of Anya, because Anya wants to have fun and not be stressed. That’s it, that’s why.

It has nothing to do with Clarke, nothing at all.

“Over there! They watched us walking in!” Costia subtly tips her head in the direction to a corner of the room. With the flashing lights and the loud music, it’s no wonder she didn’t see them. But it’s them, not that Lexa can really make anyone out, outside of Clarke’s long blonde hair and the blue eyes that are following her. She can’t really see their color right now but they’re hard to forget after you’ve gotten a close enough look at them at least once.

“Guess this is going to be a crazy night?” She tries to sound light hearted, but Clarke is looking at her and looking like she’s about to part the crowd to get to her and the blonde always makes her incredibly nervous.

“And I’ll be your knight.” Costia winks and parts from Lexa long enough to grab them both drinks, taking Lexa’s mind off Clarke’s stare long enough to actually laugh at her roommate. Her chuckle dissipates when she glances back toward Clarke and her group, to notice the blonde is still watching her, eyes gleaming in her direction. She wonders why, but quickly shrugs the question off when Costia appears back at her side, handing over a red cup full of bronze colored liquid.

Clarke is off limits, so it doesn’t matter why.

 

 

“Didn’t expect to see you here?” Clarke shouts over the music, her most famous smile firm and in place on her face. It’s stunningly attractive and Lexa’s really glad she’s only taken one sip of the liquid in her glass because if she hadn’t, and she had drunk even a little bit more she fears she might say that out loud.

Lexa studies her a moment with the tilt of her head. When she had seen Clarke earlier her hair has been down, but now it’s braided and out of her face. She looks comfortable while still looking utterly attractive. Lexa looks away to try to remove that thought from her head. “How do I already have a reputation for being an anti-social nerd?” She asks with a small shy smile, focusing too much on the liquid in her cup. It really wasn’t very good anyway.

“That’s not exactly your reputation Lexa.” Clarke says her name with too much pronunciation and it makes Lexa look up from the liquid to meet her eyes. They’re a bit wider than they normally would be, dilated too and her cheeks are nice and rosy to signify that maybe she’s been drinking, perhaps awhile before Lexa had even arrived.

She’s about to humor Clarke with her question that the blonde no doubt is expecting her to ask but Anya is by her side to interrupt before she gets the chance. She tries to squash the disappointment at the interruption. “Going to say something smooth slick?” Her tone makes Lexa jump because she had just been watching the girl dance around with Lincoln, taking up the middle of the floor, which Raven and some brunette girl she had been standing next to honestly didn’t look very happy about. She’s surprised the groups haven’t interacted yet but then again, they only seem to really go at it when their leaders have come head to head… which is going to happen now if Lexa doesn’t find some way to stop it.

“Of course, you’re here to ruin an enjoyable conversation.” Clarke glares at her and Anya glares back. Lexa unfortunately is against a wall between the two, she’s blocked from a proper quick escape route anyways, so she really does have no other choice but to find some way to intervene.

So, because she has no choice she knows the only way to quell the oncoming battle is by getting herself and Anya away from Clarke, despite her wanting to stay and talk to the blonde. “Let’s dance Anya,” She tries for distraction because her dancing at a college party is sure to brighten her sister’s spirts a bit. After all, she hasn’t really been trying and Anya just wants her to fit in.

She doesn’t stop glaring at Clarke though. “Okay,” She says, Anya setting aside her red cup and hooking their arms together to tug her toward the dancing crowd of bodies.

Clarke watches her leave, glare vanishing as she watches Lexa move into a body of people. She’s watching her interestedly, that smirk back and Lexa wonders what she might be thinking, though she doesn’t allow the thought to dwell and quickly squabbles it to focus on intertwining with her group and Costia again to dance to music she doesn’t really like.

If anyone notices that her attention keeps fading toward Clarke’s general direction, nobody says anything.

 

***

 

“Here Costia,” Lexa places the water bottle she had pulled from the mini fridge on the girl’s bedside table, setting a few Advil tablets beside it. “You should eat something too.” She informs her roommate almost at a whisper for the benefit of her head.

Costia grumbles and keeps her head under the cover of her blankets. “Thanks,” her voice is scratchy and rough but as sincere as she can probably get it and Lexa doesn’t mind.

She smiles almost sympathetically despite Costia not exactly being able to see her. “I’ve got to go to class, want me to pick you up anything after?” She still keeps the volume to her voice as low as she can, which isn’t averagely too hard since she has a tendency to be quiet anyway.

She can see Costia shaking her head from the movement of the blanket. “No. Thanks Lex,” The girl grumbles again and stays buried, and Lexa doubts she’ll come out for the rest of the day. The brunette smiles more and nods her head, grabbing her bag, sparing one last glance at the rumpled form of Costia hidden under her blanket before she exits her dorm room. The hall is lively, despite the party most everyone in the building probably attended. People are loud and laughing and making jokes and Lexa keeps her head down to make it through them.

She heads toward the cafeteria for breakfast before being locked behind the doors of her class and meets Lincoln half way there as he almost runs into her with his nose in his phone. “Sorry,” He mumbles but still doesn’t glance up. Lexa only shrugs it off, walking with him until they make it to the double doors. Lincoln unburies himself from his phone long enough to hold the door open for her and she thanks him as she crosses the threshold into the warmer air. Lincoln follows behind her.

It’s relatively quiet in this room compared to her dorm room hall except for Anya and her group… well, Lexa supposes she should start referring to them as her friend’s as well now, since they technically are. Lexa sort of had qualifications though, she happened to be kind of a distant person and friends that couldn’t understand that weren’t really friends. But she supposed right now, while she was here for Anya and going to stupid college parties with them, she could consider them friends.

Lincoln let her go ahead of him in the line. At least, if not all of them, Lincoln is definitely her friend. She smiles at him as he finally shoves his phone in his front pocket. “Where’s Cos?” He asks as he places an apple on his own tray after Lexa has already done the same.

“Still in bed.” She mumbles examining the various foods and their groups as she tries to decide what she’s hungry for.

“Didn’t she say something about protecting you last night and then she got wasted?” Lincoln asks with a wide amused grin that Lexa only shrugs at.

“Doesn’t matter to me, I can look out for myself anyway.” She doesn’t look up as she reaches for a few more fruit related items, mostly focused on finding something to subdue the hunger in her belly than really participating in conversation.

“I know, Anya’s told me about you’re interest in kick boxing?” He looks skeptical and quizzical as Lexa looks up temporarily from her tray and grins widely at him.

She nods her head. “Did she? Yeah, sort of.” She shrugs again and looks back to the food items, grabbing the rest of the things she’d like before moving on to something to drink.

“You any good?” He seems interested and Lexa bites her lip to keep from bragging.

“Eh, maybe.” She mumbles shyly. She knows she’s good at it, she’d love to kind of show off, but Lexa has always been a little shy when it comes to attention worthy things.

“You should hit the gym with me sometime. Me and this group meet at night, it’s chill, quite fun.” He shrugs his shoulders in a nonchalant manner like the invitation doesn’t mean very much and maybe it doesn’t, but it gives Lexa a temporary load of things to think about. Like if she should, if she’d manage to do well or embarrass herself because of all the people, if her sister would encourage her to go or not because normally Lexa manages to get herself to do certain social things depending on what her sister says is normal. Maybe that’s kind of how they help each other.

“Yeah maybe.” Lexa pays for her tray and waits for Lincoln to pay for his before she walks across the cafeteria to the rest of the group, who all seem rather lively for having been out most of the night and having probably drunk too much.

Lexa’s always glad she avoids alcohol most of the time, due to the tragic effect it seems to have when you wake up the next day. “Reyes gave you a nickname Lexa.” Anya scowls as she says it, Lexa taking her seat comfortably right beside her sister.

She raises a quizzical eyebrow because she’s almost one hundred percent sure this nickname isn’t out of affection or apology for trying to kill her. She’s still adamant that she was trying to rig her phone to malfunction and blow up when she had caught her fiddling with it in the library that first week when she had forgotten it at her table.

She says she was only trying to figure out who it belonged to, but her smile looked far too evil. “What is it?” She asks with a slight amount of dread because she knows it’s most likely going to be something she starts out not liking and by the end of the term Raven will probably use it so much that she’ll want to rip her own hair out.

She’s not exactly looking forward to that. “Baby Woods.” Luna cackles like it’s the funniest thing in the world. It isn’t, in fact it’s actually a slightly irritating nickname even if it sounds harmless.

Baby? She’s not a baby.

“I’m not sure if it’s Reyes that came up with it or Griffin.” Echo grumbles from across the table. She doesn’t look up from her food, looking as hung over as Costia. She also tends to avoid using any of the Delinquents first names. It’s quite interesting but Lexa somehow thinks she can actually understand why she would do something like that.

“It’s probably Griffin, sounds like something absolutely irritating that she’d do.” Anya’s scowl only seems to deepen and because Lexa isn’t interested in her sister being absolutely stressed before seven o’clock in the morning she places a gentle comforting hand on her back.

“I’m sure it was Raven, she’s trying to kill me I think.” The table laughs at that, even Anya cracks a small smile.

Though if Lexa is honest, she doesn’t really find it that funny. “Look at little Lexie getting involved.” Luna grins happily from her place beside Niylah, biting into an apple with amusement in her gaze.

“Please don’t call me that.” Lexa cringes, and starts to cut into her breakfast carefully.

“Speaking of the devils incarnated.” Niylah nods her head toward the trio appearing in the doorway. Clarke looks as much like the sun as she’s looked every single day before and Lexa forces her gaze down not only because it’s hard to stare at her but because the last thing she needs is to be caught staring at her, especially by Anya who already seems to be stressing out about even the mere thought of Clarke Griffin.

“Look its old Woods and baby Woods.” Raven calls across the cafeteria to them, grinning widely and waving her hand like they’re all long-lost friends.

“Old Woods,” Anya scoffs. “Real creative.” She rolls her eyes and seems to do her best so early in the morning to ignore their existence, which isn’t a common occurrence and Lexa welcomes it. It helps her not have to worry so damn much when her eyes still wish to be closed.

Lexa thinks the last thing her sister needs is to be stressed out about some dorky feud. If anything, the only one out of the three girls that seems awake enough to be a nuisance is Raven. “She enjoys it when I get flustered, she’s not scared of me and it’s really frustrating.” Anya had told her on her first week in experiencing Raven’s kind of fun with the feud.

Lexa thinks she might see it all as a big joke and she actually doesn’t take it as seriously as the rest of them seem to, and in a sense, she thinks maybe that’s a good thing. Even if she is probably trying to murder her.

Clarke doesn’t seem in the mood to talk to them today, and much to Lexa’s dismay she doesn’t even seem to offer them a glance… or Lexa a glance. Not a friendly smile, her famous smirk, or even a wink. Nothing and Lexa finds it kind of annoying that, that disappoints her.

“We’re only a year apart.” Anya mutters after a while and Lexa can’t help but smile a bit because that’s how she feels about it.

“Whatever, lets finish up and get out of here.” Echo says with a heavy sigh, a no-nonsense tone obvious and probably having something to do with her hangover.

Lexa is weak to resist her intrigue, eyes glancing over as if she’s waiting for Clarke to look at her. She thinks she must be obvious, but nobody seems to notice. She isn’t sure what she’d say if they did notice.

She doesn’t get a glimpse at pretty blue eyes before they exit the cafeteria and Lexa tries her hardest to not feel dissatisfied at that fact.

 

***

 

“Baby Woods!” Raven calls loudly as she knocks Lexa’s books out of her hand.

“What the fuck!” Anya is about ready to leap on her and Raven seems unaffected, still walking, offering Anya a wink over her shoulder as Lexa lets out a heavy long sigh before she’s dropping to her knees to grab her things.

“It’s okay, she does it every day.” She mumbles it almost too quietly, but Anya hears her anyway.

“I’m sorry Lexa.” Anya says sincerely, dropping down to help her as well. “It’s only because of the feud. Raven can be reasonable, I’ll try talking to her. You’re not a part of this.” Anya seems distressed at this sudden situation, hands starting to shake as she helps Lexa with her things.

Lexa places her own hand over her sister’s, stopping her frantic movements. “It’s okay.” She mumbles quietly and turns her head enough to meet Anya’s eyeline. “It’s okay, we’re okay.” She tells her gently, squeezing her sister’s hand and watching her take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You good?” She asks quietly, and Anya gives a small nod as a reply.

Lexa slowly releases her grasp on her sister’s hand and finishes packing up her things. “I really am sorry Lexa, she wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t because,”

“I’m not mad, I’m okay.” She assures her sister again.

“I just… don’t want you to leave.” Anya says honestly, voice cracking a small bit as Lexa stops stuffing papers back into folders for a moment to meet her sister’s eye line again. That may be the closest Lexa will ever get to an “I need you” and she’s okay with that.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here, with you.” She assures her with a firm voice, watching the effect it has on Anya as she nods her head and takes in another deep breath. They finish silently picking things up until everything is back in its place and Lexa can continue walking Anya to class.

“Raven’s not… so bad she just… thinks it’s funny when I get mad. She’s kind of a genius actually.” Anya tells her after a long moment of silence between them, it’s not awkward of course, Lexa just doesn’t like to talk first when Anya is close to a moment like that one, preferring to run the conversation on her pace.

“Is she?” She asks after a moment, a cork of her eyebrow as she glances at her sister.

“Yeah, really smart. Pretty.” Anya’s nose wrinkles as the compliment is mumbled from her lips. It makes Lexa crack a smile as they stop outside of her sister’s classroom.

“Pretty huh?” She teases slightly, watching as Anya’s eyes widen a small fraction before she seems to be back-tracking in her head.

“Not that pretty, like decent you know, sometimes, when she’s not being… annoying. That’s all I meant.” Anya shrugs and purposely keeps her eyes on everything else but Lexa’s own, avoiding her teasing and knowing gaze that Lexa can’t help but wear across her features. After all, this is her sister, and in the handbook that comes with being a sister, she’s got some kind of right to tease her about her crushes.

“Mhm, sure it is.” She says knowingly, her voice picking up with a tone of mischief.

Anya scoffs, shoving at Lexa’s shoulders so she falters back slightly. “Get out of here, I hate you.”

“I love you too.” Lexa lets out a small bubble of laughter as she waves goodbye to her sister and steps away, though she doesn’t exactly leave until she’s watched her cross the threshold into her classroom and take her seat.

She’ll be sure to remember what Anya has said about Raven.

 

***

 

Lexa chewed on the end of her pen as she stared down at the diligently taken notes there. The highlighted ones she’s been through, the scribbled facts she’s found in the textbook and on the internet. Indra is just moving on to a new slide when she feels the eraser hit the back of her chair.

She rolls her eyes because unbeknownst to her, Clarke, Jasper, and Monty think it’s hilarious to see how many they can hit her head with. She averagely doesn’t bother looking at them when it happens, mostly for fear that they’ll hit her in the nose with one because she knows if she looks at them it’s not going to make them stop. She could tell Indra, but she’s not interested in losing the trust of the rest of the class.

Her 102% only gets her so far.

Another one hits the back of her chair again and she grumbles in slight annoyance, glancing only for a moment over her shoulder. Jasper and Monty duck, giggling like they’re in high school and she finds the scowl on her face increase with the irritation clawing up through her veins. Raven’s already knocked her books down twice today and she can’t count the number of times someone has called her baby Woods in the span of two hours.

She really can’t wait for 2 o’clock to come around so that she can get to her private study session with herself, at the table she’s claimed in the library that everyone seems to realize she claimed because it’s never occupied when she goes to it and it’s a relatively good seat.

Clarke is looking at the board but she’s a natural at looking professional. She doesn’t understand how Clarke can go from being so incredibly nice to her, and complimenting her (even though she knows the flirting is mostly to piss Anya off) to throwing erases at the back of her head in one of her favorite classes. It’s actually quite obnoxious, and a little bit frustrating because it conflicts with this image of Clarke she’s managing to conjure up with every passing day. Yesterday’s spontaneous art session has already morphed Clarke into more of a crush worthy edition of herself than she already was the day before, and Lexa can’t lie, she’s been crushing since they met.

The same girl that will ask to draw her while they watch the sunset will also throw erasers at her head in the middle of class with her friends. Maybe this is something that Anya was always talking about, this was just how Clarke was. It just felt hard to believe. After her soft smiles and that beautiful drawing Lexa has tucked into the back pages of her Intro to Arts 101 textbook, she can’t imagine there’s a version of Clarke that could be so… bothersome.

She doesn’t realize she’s staring until Clarke looks up from her supposed diligent note taking and meets her eye line. She smirks, that lovely famous smirk of hers with glinting blue eyes and Lexa’s heart falters for a second. A new feeling she’s not used to, not having identified yet, though it’s been happening since they’ve met. She’s trying hard to keep it at crush and then deny that it’s a crush… but damn sometimes Clarke looks at her and she isn’t sure that crush is ever going to be the right word.

Lexa has always been uselessly gay, so she blames it on the fact that Clarke is just so unbelievably pretty. She’s not blind, and those damn eyes. She feels the scowl come back as she looks away from the blonde’s gaze, down at her own notes that she’s now suddenly behind on. She shakes her head and tries to focus, ignoring the unremitting thump of erasers on the back of her chair.

She can feel Clarke still watching her, can see it in the corner of her eye every time she manages a glance that she can’t resist. It makes everything twist inside of her and she knows this feeling… Anya would not approve of this feeling. So she tries to ignore it and focus on Indra’s class because right now, she’s here for Anya and anything that’s going to upset Anya is not something she needs to be involved in or with… so Clarke is really, really off limits… even if she is prettier than a sunset.

 

***

 

Lexa clicks her pen, once, twice, three times but she doesn’t make a move to write yet. The thoughts in her head need a bit more clearing. She squints at the screen through her glasses she had opted for today instead of contacts. Over half the paper was done, she only needs the last two paragraphs, but they were briefly eluding her. It must be because it was already 7 P.M. and she’s been here since 2 P.M., and all she’s had to eat was breakfast at 6 o’clock in the morning.

“Hey there gorgeous.” Lexa felt herself jump, the voice familiar before she even has to turn to see who it is. She still acts like she wouldn’t be able to recognize that low voice anywhere. It was kind of unique after all, that’s the only reason it was so identifiable. The only reason at all.

“Don’t call me that.” Lexa says a bit colder than she meant. Mostly it’s just because the compliment sends that warmth flushing her face and she knows with barely any make-up it’s more noticeable than ever, the library light enough to make it obvious. Maybe even detail it.

Plus, she can still hear each eraser hitting the back of her chair. “Don’t… call you gorgeous?” Clarke snorts and sits down in the chair next to Lexa, without an invitation.

Lexa just looks at her a moment. “Um, can I help you?” She asks, again she sounds colder than she means. It’s not because of the feud, or the abundance of erasers she’s accumulated over the term… it’s mostly because she’s actually really hungry, but perhaps the less Clarke knows about her attitude the better. She’s meant to be staying away from her anyways. It would just be better that way from what Anya says.

“Ouch, I thought we had a small connection Woods. You know, you could be like my double agent.” Clarke smiles charmingly, the same smile that must set everyone into a gooey mess with how much she uses it. Lexa would never admit that it does affect her. Only a small bit though, nothing more of course.

As long as Anya doesn’t find that out she should be safe with the admission, as long as it stays in her own head. “You realize Anya is my sister, right?” She corks an eyebrow upward, pushing her glasses up so that she’s looking through them properly.

Clarke is still smiling, watching the rim of her glasses and then examining other various features on her face before meeting her eyes again. Lexa hopes she isn’t blushing, Clarke always looks at her like she’s a painting herself. “Right, though I still don’t see the resemblance.” Her smirk widens.

Lexa only rolls her eyes, glancing away and back at the document still open on her laptop. “We were both adopted so.”

“Oh shit, no way? Clarke chuckles. “I’m just kidding, I know that already. Well I know she’s adopted, but I’m sure there’s plenty I don’t know about you?” Clarke tilts her to the right, propping her elbow on the table and resting her head in the palm of her hand, eyelashes fluttering in her direction.

Her eyes are a certain… kind of stunning blue that Lexa has never really seen before on any other living human being. Not that she likes that or anything. “Did I ask, somewhere, for you to be here, distracting me?” She’s surprised she’s managing to sound so uninterested in having Clarke here, when she can feel the flutter of her heart beat and the slight piqued interest she always has whenever Clarke so much as glances at her across a busy room.

“Awe come on baby Woods, you think I’m pretty.” Clarke sure is charming, and maybe Lexa can tolerate that nickname when such a husky voice like Clarke’s is wrapping around it, but she still doesn’t like it.

“I’m not a baby, Anya is a year older than me.” She snaps with annoyance, after all, it’s been used far too many times today and Raven’s knocked her books down twice and that wink she does whenever Anya is there to witness is a little annoying.

“Ah, excuse me. I can perfectly tell you aren’t a baby.” Clarke winks and sits up more confidently. “You want to get a coffee with me maybe?” For some reason, the way Clarke asks it has Lexa’s heart racing before she can tell it that she’s not allowed to be interested. She has no idea why she’s acting like this, like she hasn’t seen a pretty girl before, like she doesn’t in fact live with a pretty girl.

Finding Clarke so pretty is like a direct insult to Anya, so she must stay away. That’s just the sisterly thing to do… right? “Not really.”

Clarke studies her a minute, as if she can read every contour of Lexa’s mind. As if Lexa really is only a drawing in her leather cladded notebook she had brought with her up on that hill yesterday. “Hmm, it’s Anya isn’t it?” Clarke asks after a beat of silence.

Lexa only frowns. “Or I’m just not into you.” She offers instead, even though she feels like Clarke can see the beat of her heart as she tips her chair closer.

Clarke scoffs, placing a hand to her heart. “Ouch, that’s not what I wanted a coffee for anyway Ms. 102%”

Lexa frowns, maybe slightly disappointed though she won’t allow that admission to ever leave her head. Anya would really kill her. She’s already not going to be happy about Clarke talking to her anyways. It’ll go as well as every other time Anya has been there to witness Clarke smirking and fluttering eyelashes at her. “I don’t do tests for people. I’ve been asked that three times since I transferred here and,”

“Oh gorgeous no.” Clarke lets out a laugh.

Lexa frowns further and focuses entirely too much on the document still open as the blush surfaces on her face with the endearment. “Stop calling me things like that, I’m not your girlfriend.” She snaps, a little annoyed at herself for not holding it together in front of a pretty girl.

Clarke chuckles. “Okay, sorry, is Lexa okay?”

The brunette rolls her eyes. “That is my name.”

“Okay Lexa, I wanted to ask for your help? I’m not exactly failing but… I’m averaging a C and that’s… not my favorite thing.” Clarke takes the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth as she seems to study Lexa closely. She looks nervous, but Lexa couldn’t pinpoint why. To be honest, she’s never met anyone that could look so god damn pretty while being so nervous. Soft make up that makes the blue in her eyes pop out, long blonde hair, loose around her face, making Lexa’s fingers itch to touch the strands and see if they’re really as soft as they look.

It’s all a little too much. “So what do you need my help for?” Her voice is a little less annoyed as she watches the furrow of Clarke’s eyebrows dissipate with her question.

“Tutor me?” She asks with a higher voice than before.

“Tutor you?” Lexa sounds unconvinced, scoffing slightly and turning back to her laptop. She doubts Clarke wants or needs a tutor. She may party like Anya says, she may hook-up with whoever she wants, she may be popular and loud but she’s not dumb, nor is she probably capable of failing unless she was having a really bad few weeks.

Lexa’s only known her for about two weeks, but Lexa’s seen her notes. She’s too observant, too diligent, understanding all the material to not be getting it. “I’d pay you?”

Lexa frowns, glancing at Clarke, her bottom lip back between her teeth and Lexa loses her train of thought as she stares at it. “I don’t tutor.” She eventually says, thinking her voice is betraying her a bit so she looks away to gain some composure.

“Come on Lexa, you have a 102%, Indra does nothing but brag about you and in an insufferable way she’s right about your brain. You’re kind of a genius and I really need your help.” Clarke is begging now and maybe that’s what does it… maybe because Clarke really wouldn’t beg anyone if she didn’t actually really need the help.

And well… Lexa kind of likes her so she sits back, studies her, and pretends to contemplate it. “You really need a tutor?”

“Yes.” Clarke says quickly, voice lower again and a hopeful look glinting through gorgeous blue eyes.

“This isn’t… a game?” Lexa asks cautiously because as pretty and gorgeous and easily she’d be willing to tutor Clarke, the last thing she’s interested in is being some pawn to get to Anya. She’s really not interested in this feud and Anya comes first. That’s why she’s here, to help her, protect her, be here for her. She’s not about to do something that could hurt her.

“A game?” Clarke looks at her incredulously. “What lies has Anya been feeding you?”

Lexa frowns yet again. “She said you get around.” She hints lightly, tapping her fingers along her knees before she’s pushing her glass back up on her face again.

“Wow, she called me a slut, bitch.” Clarke blurts and crosses her arms along her chest.

Lexa would be defending Anya if Clarke didn’t look so agitated at the accusation and the last thing Lexa wants is for the blonde to get upset enough to cause a bigger war between the pair. “I mean, getting around doesn’t make you a slut just means you… like to date.” Clarke’s eyes pick up to meet Lexa’s and for a second Lexa forgets that Clarke is someone she’s supposed to be staying clear of. She’s got the most stunning eyes, Lexa is more intrigued by them than she should be.

“Anya’s one to talk anyway.” Clarke sighs. “So, what do you say? Name a price and,” Clarke shrugs. “I’ll pay it.”

Lexa bites her bottom lip and studies Clarke’s face. “Actually…” Lexa abandons her computer completely now, shutting the lid of her laptop with a knew thought, a new idea, a new course of action she probably really shouldn’t be taking… Anya is going to kill her, it’s without a doubt an inevitable possibility. “You think maybe… you could help me with something else in return?” She asks curiously, adjusting her glasses again more out of habit and nerves than because they’ve fallen down her face.

Clarke watches her do it and it makes her feel slightly self-conscious. “Sure, so not money than?” The blonde asks with a quirk of her eyebrow.

Lexa shakes her head, letting her hands and fingertips fiddle together as the nerves begin to swallow her up. She really shouldn’t be doing this. She needs to back out now before she says it. “No. Um… you date a lot, right? Or hook up or whatever, point is you get girls”

“And boys.” Clarke is smirking again. Eyes a lit with curiosity.

Who is Lexa kidding? She’s doing this. “Okay, point is you must be… I don’t know experienced?”

“What are you asking for Lexa?” Clarke looks amused, eyes twinkling as she studies Lexa inquisitively. She seems only all the more curious as the blush surfaces and takes over Lexa’s face again before she can even bother to take any precautions to prevent it. Not that, that’s ever worked in the past.

“Can you help me get a girl?” She asks with her voice dropping a little lower, getting quiet as she looks down at her lap.

Clarke chuckles. “I doubt you need help in that department.”

“No seriously.” Lexa’s head whips up, a glare surfacing across her face and Clarke’s smile dissipates.

“I mean… I could help? I don’t really know how to teach that kind of thing though.” Clarke’s lip is between her teeth again, a small shrug of her shoulders an indication that she can’t promise results.

“I just need to learn how you do it?” Lexa asks a bit unsure.

Why is she doing this? “I mean, it’s kind of natural. And with those eyes and that smile you do, really it shouldn’t take much.” Clarke is smirking at her again, she’s got curiosity and delight in her gaze that makes her eyes twinkle attractively and Lexa has to force herself to not stare, repeating some kind of mantra in her head that Clarke is off limits.

“It’s the talking part.” She admits shyly.

She’s blushing again, and she hates that she can’t control it. “So you know you’re pretty hot than.” Lexa rolls her eyes as Clarke’s smile appears wider. “Well, okay, I can help you. I’ve only been a love doctor once though, but that ended happy, so I have a good record.” Clarke seems to assure her, like Lexa isn’t the one that offered it up in the first place.

“Who?” She asks pryingly, even though she doubts she’ll know them.

“Hmm, how aware are you of the other members of my group Lexa?”

“Raven I think is trying to kill me.”

Clarke laughs but Lexa doesn’t because she’s genuinely serious about that accusation. “Well, what’s the girl’s name? Is she in Anya’s group?”

“Um, she can be seen hanging in her territory sometimes.” Lexa bites her bottom lip as she thinks about it a moment. “Oh, and this… this is a secret, if Anya asks, the only reason we talk to each other is so you can flirt and flick more erasers at me.”

“I don’t do that.” Clarke says quickly as if to defend her honor as a person.

Lexa looks at her with a skeptical stare. “I have ten just from yesterday.”

“Well it’s not me, I threw one to try and get your attention that first week and Jasper thought I was throwing them at you on purpose, just to annoy you. I’ve tried to get him to stop.” Clarke looks a bit sheepish and Lexa thinks she might believe her.

“It’s annoying but not the point.” Clarke lets out a soft sigh. “This arrangement stays between us and this library.” She emphasizes her point with her hands, waving vaguely at the surrounding area.

“Alright captain.” Clarke salutes and Lexa rolls her eyes. “It’s better that way actually, as the leader of my so-called clan, I can’t be seen hanging out with you either.” Clarke winks at her. “Unless you’d like to get a coffee for more intimate reasons, I can make a good excuse.” She grins widely because she can no doubt see the way Lexa blushes.

“No.” She answers flatly.

“Well, give me your number and we’ll discuss the details later tonight, you like phone calls or text messages better?” Lexa goes to answer but Clarke shakes her head. “I’ll text, you seem like a texter.” She winks at Lexa again and hops up from the chair she had been sitting in after Lexa’s passed her a paper with her number on it, strutting out of the library to leave Lexa watching her leave. She wonders if Clarke sways her hips that way on purpose, not that she was watching, of course.