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I Wish...

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"Dean. Dean. Dean" Cas kept prodding my side.
I continue to ignore him amd sip my beer, watching some boring tv show.
"Fine" he huffs. "I will just find Sam. Where is he?" He questions, looking at me.
"We're on a break right now" I sigh, finally turning to him. "He got pissed for me not showing my feelings, or some shit like that" I explain.
Cas had a thoughtful look on his face before nodding. "Have you finished binging The Wire?" I ask, sitting up.
"No" he sighs, shaking his head.
"Then I'm putting it on if it'll  shut your pie-hole" i state turning on Netflix.
While it was loading, I looked at my shirtless form, before looking at Cas all dressed up.
"You don't have to wear your trenchcoat and suit constantly you know" I chuckle.
He looked down and frowned. "I will be right back" he says before going to his room.
I shake my head. We were in the bunker, hanging out in my room since I had the better bed and better tv.
He soon came back with just sweatpants on. I looked at his chest a bit longer than needed before turning on The Wire.
Cas sat on the other side of the bed as did I. We just watched the show for a while until I finally dozed off.
When Dean fell asleep, I found myself quite bored. For a fallen angel that has been around for centuries, the beginning of man, I was bored.
Odd I suppose, but what of it. I looked at the thing that tells time. Mostly a matter of speculation but I guess humans wanted to keep track of something of the imagination.
It simply read three thirty two. A.M I assume since it's dark.
I glance at a softly snoring Dean and felt the urge to run my hands through his surprisingly soft looking hair..
What the..? That's something new. From what I've learned, I think it's these things called 'feelings'.
"Huh" I state furrowing my brows. I shrug and throw my legs over the side of the bed and stand up stretching. I sort of miss my ethereal body. But being a human is so.. exhilarating. These creatures are so fragile, yet so string to trudge through this thing called heartbreak, and among other feelings of loss and guilt and denial. A few of which I've found myself suffering.
I walk out of the room and explore some of the bunker. I feel like I've never had the opportunity to before.
Before Sam left it was mostly just brief visits. Warnings to the boys, or tips and even jobs. But given the chance I've felt a bit.. what's the word? Cautious? No, curious! That's the word.
I open a few doors as thoughts buzz around in my head. Mostly about current matters. I mean, we just conquered the darkness. Well, more like showed her the way but it is what it is.
I soon find the kitchen and look around in it. I know it won't work but maybe..
I quickly make what I want and sit down, staring at it.
I take a deep breath and take a bite of my old favorite, pb&j.
I chew it for a second and am surprised. I can actually taste it. Well, sort of. It's mostly bland but I guess I'm a little more human since I don't just taste atoms and particles.
"It is not.. terrible" I state, taking another bite. I actually smile a bit and quickly devour the sandwich.
The next three hours were spent of me exploring and tinkering with a few things.
Around the other side of the bunker, I smell coffee. "Ah, Dean's awake" I hum and start making my way there.
"Hello Dean" I say sitting down.
He startled a bit before turning to look at me. "Oh hey Cas. You really need to stop being so silent" he laughs.
I frown, confused. "Isn't that a great skill when hunting?" I question.
He sighs. "Yes, but when you're here, it's unneeded" he informs.
"Ah" I nod. He seemed satisfied with my semi-answer and went back to his coffee.
"Hey Cas, did you eat a sandwich earlier?" He asks.
"Yes, why do you ask?"
"I thought you could only taste the atoms, or something like that.
"Oh. I seem to have become slightly more human. It is less bland now, so I can partially taste it. I find it quite.. nice, actually" I say softly near the end.
"Dude, you have missed out on some amazing food. For lunch I am so taking you to the bar" he grins.
"Dean, I am actually surprised you are not inebriated at the moment" I state.
"Hey! I don't drink that much.." He grumbles.
I smile slightly, "Dean, you have no idea how much you drink do you?"
"Not really?"
"Above the drinkable amount allowed by law a week" I state.
"Why do you know that?" He questions.
I shrug. "I just do"
"Give me coffee" I demand.
"Chill man" he chuckles handing me a mug.
I nod in satisfaction
He shakes his head and sips his coffee while sitting down and looking through the newspaper.
I sip my coffee and observe the odd scars along his arms, chest and face.
He looked up causing me to stop abruptly. "I think I found a case. Louisinanna, there's been signs of a rougarou" he says.
"Didn't you come home from one three days ago? A vampire nest if I think right" I say accusingly, narrowing my eyes.
"I need something to take my mind off a few things since beer is starting to not quite work" he sighs.
I frown a little.. he's telling me feelings. Woah.. I continued to just listen intently.
"We head out tomorrow but tonight we are so doing the bar trip" he says, suddenly grinning again.
I sigh. "That trip is unneeded, Dean" I point out.
"Exactly" he nods. "That's why we're going. You're gonna have some fun" he smirks.
I sigh but just go along with it.
I soon get bored again and decide to clean a bit, since I knew Dean wouldn't anytime soon.
He just sat in his room drinking beer and looking through paper-porn. At least that's what Sam said it was called. He told me Dean read it a lot. Of which I have noticed a bit.
Finally Dean notifies me that I need to get dressed so we can leave. I check a clock. It's like three in the afternoon already.. wow I have really been cleaning.
I put my usual suit and trench coat on and head down to the garage to wait for Dean by the impala.
I didn't wait long as Dean came down swinging the keys on his finger.
I got up from my leaning position and get in the passenger side. He squeaking of his door opening and then the slight crunch of leather as he sat, had become a familiar sound to me now. And to be honest, I enjoy it.
The engine starting let out a sigh from me as we drove out the tunnel back into a nasty thing humans call, society.
He turned up the radio when what Dean calls, a 'musical legend' came on. Which Sam later told me was Bon Jovi.
"Wooaah! Livin' on a prayer!" Dean sung terribly. But I just laughed and listened as he continued.
As some old guy once said, all good things come to an end. And sadly that logic was sound. Because when the song ended we descended back into a comfortable silence.
We eventually made it to the bar. 'Mickeys' it read.
"Ah, nice to be home" Dean sighs.
I look at him confused. "Isn't home where we just came from?.."
"Cas, it was sarcasm" he groans shutting off the engine and turning to look at me.
"Oh. I am still learning this 'sarcasm' " I sigh.
"Yes Cas. I know" he chuckles.
"Let's just get this trip over with" i sigh again getting out of the car.
                           Three hours later
"Deeean!" I giggle.
"What this time?" He groans, looking at me.
"You are absolutely adorable" I slur, giggling hysterically again.
"Aand you're drunk. Let's go" he sighs shaking his head, helping me to the car.
I just continued flirting, succeeding in making him blush once or twice before we finally got back in the bunker garage.
I open the door and stumble out giggling like a lunatic.
Dean groans and wrapped an arm over my shoulders and leading me inside.
Around halfway there I felt something hard between my legs.
"Why is there a stick in my pants?" I ask genuinely confused.
Dean looked at me oddly. "That's a penis Cas"
"What the.." I say, eyes wide.
Dean laughed shaking his head.
We finally reached my room. "Oh Dean you're so strong" I giggle, fawning over him.
"Cas, just sleep. I know you don't need it, but just do it. It'll help with your hangover tomorrow" he advised me.
"Fine" I pout, sitting on my bed.
He nodded and left.
I took off my trench coat with success. Suit top with success. But I ended up getting my head stuck in my pants somehow.
"Deeean!" I yelp.
I heard footsteps before he walked in confused.
It was silence for a moment before he burst out laughing. "Dean heeelp!"
"Alright alright. Just stay still" he laughs softly.
I felt a bit off pulling before my pants were off my head and on the floor.
I was now just in my boxers. I frown when I see Dean looking down at them.
I follow his gaze and stare with him.
He noticed and looked at me oddly. "What? You were looking first" I state.
His ears just turned pink before he quickly left.
Did I say something wrong? I shrug and lie back with a sigh.
Not five minutes later I was asleep.
The next morning I had a terrible headache, but that was it. Perks of being an angel I guess.
"Cas! Get dressed, we leave in twenty!" I heard Dean yell.
I sigh and slowly get ready and trim my beard.
Not long after i walk out and meet Dean at the bottom of the stairwell and we both walk to the impala.
"How's your head?" He snickers.
"Shut up you assbutt" I groan.
"Mhm. Thought so" he chuckles.
I just stay silent as we got in and drove to Louisianna.
My head slowly sifted through all the long talks Dean and I have had.. all the undressing each other with our eyes it seemed.
"Stop thinking so hard. Your face gets all stony" Dean says interrupting my thoughts.
"Is that supposed to make me stop?" I snort.
"You made a joke! Progress" he grins.
I sigh, rubbing my temples. "How much longer until we're there?"
"Baton rouge is half an hour away" he states looking at the roadsign.
"Good. This car is getting a bit stuffy"
"Don't make fun of Baby!" Dean says offended.
"Alright fine.." I huff.
About the estimated time later we got a hotel room and started researching for the rougarou.
"Its been making attacks around the edge of town by a biggersons..  and they seem to all be guys around my age actually. There's an abandoned warehouse that I think used to be an egg place is where I suspect he is" Dean says filling me in.
I nod picking at my fingers. I was pretty much just staring at his lips the whole time he was talking.
"I'm gonna go to the bar tonight. You wanna come?"
"Ugh no.. last night was terrible enough" I groan.
"Alright. Fine by me" he shrugs before getting a few things together and leaving.
I just hung out and watched some shows on his laptop, bored for a few hours. Though, when it was after twelve, and I didn't hear the familiar roar of the impala, I got worried.
I started pacing until around one. Still nothing. "That's it" I say and leave, walking to the nearest bar with hurried footsteps.
I found Dean's car there and looked inside. But saw nothing. I frown and run a hand through my hair.
I walk into the bar and cringe at the smell of cigarettes and beer, and ask around to see if anyone saw him.
When someone said he left with a guy, whom he was told were in a deep discussion on something, he quickly asked where they may have gone. He just shrugged. "Sorry kid"
I just nod and quickly leave. I went in the impala to see the keys in, and start driving to that warehouse.
I soon see it and frown even more when I see a cherry red truck.
I quickly shut off the engine and slowly walk in, angel sword in hand.
I was in high alert as I listened for sounds.
I heard something faintly and froze, listening.
"Fuck!" Came a pained snarl.
"Dean!" I whisper and just drop all chance of quietly showing up and run towards the noise.
I saw Dean hanging from the ceiling by some chains, his feet barely scraping the floor, and blood running down his broad chest and dropping to the floor in scary amounts.
I saw a freaky looking beast thing, that looked almost like a werewolf. "Rougarou.." I whisper, narrowing my eyes dangerously.
He growled lowly at me and dropped to all fours, stalking towards me.
I grip my sword tightly and wait. Not two seconds later the beast launched at me.
I shout and dodge left, cutting along his side, emitting a bright white light.
He yelped and collapsed, before growling, his eyes flaring yellow, and leaping at me again.
My eyes widen before I jump headfirst at him as the tip of my sword penetrates his forehead, going through his skull and brain before coming out the other side with a wet sound.
He drops to the ground as I pulled out the sword.
I stare at the dead body for a moment before rushing over to Dean and slash the chains, catching him.
He let out a low grunt, shuddering against me.
"C-Cas?" He whispers looking at me.
"Dean, I'm right here" I whisper, pushing his hair to the side.
I looked down to see the amount of blood he was losing. "Dean we have to go!" I urge quickly.
"N-no don't.. It's to late Cas" he whispers. "I always thought it would be a demon to kill me.. something so simple and I'm dead" he laughs weakly, before coughing.
"Dean.. please don't die. Please. I-I love you" I whisper. He looked at me with glazed eyes, looking like he didn't hear me.
A few tears escaped my eyes before I quickly kissed him with tears running down my face.
He just kissed back weakly, before slowly falling limp.
"I wish I could of told you I love you.. more than a friend. More than everyone" I whisper, sobbing quietly.
"I wish we could of been more"