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The Looser

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"Oh my god, I needed this" Lucca sighed as she walked alongside Alicia, on their way back home after leaving Avenue Tavern "Thank you"

Alicia smiled, glancing at her "There's nothing to thank me for, Lucca" she smiled "Plus, I am always up for a drink and a good talk"

Lucca smirked "I'm aware, that and anything Jason related, too"

Alicia rolled her eyes "Stop it"

"What?" Lucca shrugged, playfully "I am even surprised you came with me on a Saturday night when I happen to know Grace isn't even home"

"Well, let me counter that theory right there, Lucca Quinn. Jason even encouraged me to come, as a matter of fact"

"Oh!" Lucca exclaimed

"He said he had a few things to take care, anyway"

Lucca raised her eyebrow "Is everything alright?"

"I hope so" Alicia took a deep breath "Jason was never big on words, but always assures me everything is fine"

"He does seem a bit distant, lately" Lucca stared at her friend, noticing her worry

"I'm glad I wasn't the only one noticing. Because if I mention it, he'll just run from... AH!”

Both ladies suddenly screamed when a speeding car suddenly drove through the trunking they were about to cross, scaring the hell out of them.

"What the hell!" Lucca snapped

"Is everyone going insane, these days?!" Alicia breathed, as Lucca glanced at the small road in between the buildings, where the car had just came from.

"Do you think something happened?"

"Lucca, that's really nothing we should even think of checking out" Alicia warned "Even if they were robbing a freaking bank" she breathed, trying to regain her composure after such scare.

To her surprise, though, she saw Lucca ignoring her words and moving to the road, trying to see something unusual.

"Lucca! Come back here, what the heck do you think you are doing?"

"This road seems empty" Lucca spoke, making Alicia feel forced to follow her

"Lucca, let's return now, shall we?" Alicia said, nervously, as she followed Lucca to the very end of the road, where another cross was located.

It was empty, no one could be seen around, just like throughout it, with the exception of the familiar vehicle parked nearby, just a few meters to the right.

"Is that...?" Lucca asked, just as Alicia spotted the man, leaning against the car, holding his right deltoid.

"Jason?!" Alicia gasped as soon as she recognized him, immediately walking over to him.

Once Jason noticed they were there and saw him, he let go of his own arm and stepped forward, surprised "Hey, ladies" he breathed

There was no way he could fool them, however. They could clearly see the cut on his cloth and the surprised expression betrayed him.

"Jason?!" Alicia immediately took a step closer to him "What happened? You're hurt!"

His eyes widened, as he stared at her then back at Lucca "It's fine ladies, just... cheap thieves"

Lucca observed him, closely "Like the ones who almost ran us over?"

"They tried to rob you?" Alicia asked, worriedly leaning to touch his bleeding arm

"Don't worry about it" he smiled at her, but there was no way he could have calm her down

"Let me check this out, maybe we should get you to a hospital, Jason!"

"Hey," He caressed her face "I'm fine, really"

"Lucca can you drive his car?"

"Woah, woah, now I'm the one who decides who drives my car" Jason protested

"Not right now, you don't" Lucca quickly opened the driver's seat door and started the car.

"I am not going to the hospital because of this, ladies, what are you doing here anyway?"

Alicia sighed, pushing him inside the car "Questions later. Lucca get us to my place. You, stay right here." she pointed at Jason, as Lucca started to drive.

"Seems like I don't have many options now I'm in a moving car" Jason spoke as Alicia started taking his jacket off "Alicia, Lucca's right there, you know?"

"Oh, please" Lucca sighed, but Alicia finally showed him a small smile

"You scared me" she stared at him "what the hell happened?"

He smiled at her as she pressed his coat against the bleeding jacket. Before he could say anything, Lucca looked at him through the mirror

"Cut the crap Jason, what were you up to?"

"Seriously?" Jason's eyes widened "They tried to get my car, was I supposed to just let them?"

"Why would they want your car?"

"Well that's a question for them, Lucca!" Jason exclaimed

"Zip it, both of you" Alicia spoke "Let's go inside and stitch you up"

"I'm fine, I told you" He sighed, suddenly losing his patience.

Alicia was definitely not used to this side of Jason. He was the calmest and most patient man she had ever met. He had been acting so strange lately, though. And now he definitely did not want them to be there, he was not expecting them to find him.

"Let's go Jason" she grabbed him and made him follow her to her apartment.

Once they were in, Alicia immediately focused on Jason's arm, with the help of Lucca, while Jason remained silent.

"You really are not going to tell us what exactly happened?" Lucca spoke, annoyed.

"Lucca, I told you" Jason sighed

"Alright then." She spoke, grabbing her coat once Alicia was finished "I'll see you guys" she spoke before leaving.

Alicia said no word, she decided to clean the mess she made once healing Jason’s arm, without a word, as well.

She knew Lucca was worried. Hell, she was as well. Both knew something was up and, even if this incident had nothing to do with it, Alicia knew Lucca was just stressed out about it and connecting things that possibly had no tie, whatsoever.

Still, Lucca could possibly be right as well. How could they know? Jason would not open up about anything and Alicia knew she would have to bring it up, sooner or later. She knew Jason, at least, better than most around him on a daily basis.

"You sure you are ok?" She asked, sitting next to Jason once she cleaned everything.

"Look at that?" he smiled "That's perfect, for a lawyer"

Alicia rolled her eyes, leaning to kiss him "You know, we're just worried. Lucca's just worried"

"Hey" he grabbed her hand "I'm fine. It was an incident, it's over now. I'm sorry you had to see that"

"You see, that's exactly what worries us, Jason. So what if we did not show up? You would just eventually show up with an injured arm, refusing to say what happened and getting me worried."

Jason took a deep breath, looking away.

Once he did not reply, Alicia leaned against his healthy shoulder and simply tried to relax.

"I'm sorry, I am" Jason finally whispered, taking her hand to his lips "I really don't want you to worry about me. Let alone Lucca"

Alicia took a deep breath, rolling underneath his arm to stare up at him "That is not up to you to decide, Jason, alright? We worry, I worry. Just..." she whispered "Are you sure it was just an incident?" 

Jason stared at her for a few moments, before leaning forward to kiss her "Yes, Alicia"

Alicia leaned against his lips, immediately throwing her arms around his neck, deciding to relax at his words.

She was hooked and she knew it. She just hoped she would be able to handle feelings, when the time came, if the time came.

She wished things wouldn't be so complicated.

She wished she could just get a damn divorce and make Jason hers, officially. If they ever came to that point, she hoped he would accept her and let her be his, equally. She had a hunch the feelings would not be one-sided, even if she still could not fully read Jason.

Nothing was ever easy, with her and her life, which was the sad truth. Alicia even wondered how Jason was sticking around, nevertheless.

Not that she was complaining.

Quite the contrary, she was more than used to having him with her. She wanted him to be with her, every day, lying on her bed, sleeping next to her, cuddling with her, kissing her, having sex with her.

God, she couldn't ever get enough of him.

"Dear God, Jason" she gasped once she felt his lips on her neck, his hands sneaking underneath her skirt, after pushing her to straddle his lap.

He was smiling against her neck, knowing exactly what she loved the most.

He wondered if she was aware of how much he also loved being with her.

"You ok to do this?" she bit his lip, staring at him as he smirked, holding her hips to grind against him, making sure she felt his already hardened manhood

"Do I not look ok?" he closed his eyes as she worked on taking him off his clothes

"God, you look great" she bit her lip, smiling "More than great, all the time"

"You are something else, Mrs. Florrick" he breathed deeply as she started unbuttoning his jeans "Shall we move this to your bedroom?"

Immediately she put her hands over his naked torso "Stay right there, I'm perfect right here" 

He smiled, feeling her getting rid of his jeans and boxers, moving back to kneel on the floor, in front of his very naked and horny body.

They would usually fight for dominance and, even if Jason preferred to be the dominant one, hell, it was incredible to let Alicia take over.

Her hand gently grabbed his erection, taking her time to tease him.

She loved everything about him and his body.

So sexy and perfect, in her eyes.

He was tall and incredibly handsome, she doubted she had ever laid eyes on someone that handsome. Adding to that deep voice and bad boy attitude, yet relaxed personality, letting you know just how chilled he is yet knowing not to ever mess with him.

She loved that about him.

She loved how intelligent he was, as well. She loved the fact she would only need to call him and ask anything, he'd get it done.

He was definitely one to keep, and one who had loads of women after him, which reminded her everything in her life was so complicated and how she just wished things were different.

She definitely didn't want him gone.

Never.

"Oh..." he groaned once she finally took him in her mouth, knowing exactly what to do and how to do.

She was impressed on how quickly he got to know her body. She wondered how in hell he was such a good lover. He knew exactly what to do to her to make her reach her orgasm, and quickly. And it only took him once or twice to know that.

She took her time, on the other side. But now, she knew his body very well and god, she loved to please him.

Just the sound of his breathing was enough to make her wet for him and he seemed to guess that since the very first time they were together.

"Hmm..." his large hand caressed the side of her cheek and neck as he let his head fall back onto the couch, in pleasure. 

Alicia smiled, contemplating that sight, as she stroked him rapidly, keeping her mouth sucking his tip, knowing he would not last much longer. She felt him pushing his hips forward as his low groans made her even more eager. 

"Shit...." he breathed "Juz like that... oh" 

Alicia licked his tip with a smile, stopping momentarily to take a good look at him, before stroking his manhood again while her mouth bobbed along the other half. It didn't take him a long time to finally reach his climax. 

"F...uck" he gasped, tightening his grasp around her as she swallowed every drop of liquid "You're incredible, Mrs. Florrick" 

Alicia smiled, moving up to straddle him once again "Oh, why don't you let me know what you thought of that?" she bit her lip

Jason smirked, leaning for a kiss "Oh I plan to, all night long" he mumbled as he let his fingers caress her wetness. 

"God, Jason" She gasped, the things he was able to do to her with a simple touch blew her mind.

"Shhh" he smiled, biting her neck "Lemme show you" 

Alicia smiled, closing her eyes. He was the best lover she ever had.

 

(…)

The time passed by, ever since that incident, but Alicia saw no change in Jason. Quite the contrary, she felt him more stressed each day and, even if he did a tremendous job hiding it, he could not fool her.

She even opened up to Lucca about it more, knowing her friend was also worried and slightly annoyed about how Jason seemed to ignore both of them when they were willing to help him through whatever it was he was going through. But Alicia knew that was Jason and he didn't mean it in a bad way. Ever since she met him, he would rarely verbalize his concerns.

It was weeks later, in the middle of a cold night with no naked Jason in her bed, that she was startled by her phone ringing. She cursed, wanting to ignore whoever it was, until she noticed it was Jason, himself, calling her. Immediately, she felt a shot of worry throughout her body.

That was definitely not normal.

"Jason?" she finally answered

"Alicia" he breathed "I'm sorry, I'm aware of the time..."

"Jason? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Hmmm I'm at your door, just wasn't sure if Grace was home so I decided not to make any noise"

Immediately Alicia got up from her bed and quickly walked to open her door, watching Jason leaning against the door frame with a tired and worried expression in his face.

"What happened?" She worriedly asked, observing him as he took a step forward to her, holding her petite frame in his arms. He let his face rest in the gap of her neck and, though Alicia immediately hugged him back tightly, she was more than worried by then.

"Jason?" She leaned against him, kissing his cheek before caressing his face "You are definitely worrying me now"

He showed her a small smile, kissing her forehead "You alone?"

"No..." she grabbed his hand to bring him to her office. "Sit" she pushed him to sit on the couch and quickly took a spot next to him "Now, spill it out"

Jason looked down, with a small smile, he always loved how determined and bossy she could be. Well, he could say she was his boss, technically.

"God damn you, speak!" she snapped

"Hey, easy" he grabbed her hands "Nothing happened, I promise"

"Cut the crap, Jason, just talk to me"

Taking a deep breath, he stared at her, leaning forward so he was only inches apart from her "Alicia, I've told you before, I really like you..."

"Oh god, bad start, really bad start..."

"I'm trying here" he interrupted her "Just listen to me" he spoke, stressfully "Alicia there's... there's a lot you don't know about me"

Alicia observed him, quietly. She wouldn't dare to interrupt one of these rare moments when Jason was actually talking to her about himself and his problems. At least she believed he would get there, by then, once and for all. And now he did, she was actually scared of the outcome.

"Like... a lot" he breathed "And... there are a few things going on lately and... it's starting to be more frequent now and..." he hesitated, now playing with his own hands "Shit, I'm not really good at this. What I'm trying to say is that..." he sighed "I want all that's best for you"

"Now you are not making sense, Jason. I've told you before, I am not under the impression that we commit to each other. Is this about someone you've met? Someone important from your past that returned and you are conflicted whether you should..."

"Stop, Alicia" he whispered "This is a lot more than that. If this was about an old lover I would definitely not be conflicted about it"

Alicia stared at him, surprised. She could not be sure what surprised and worried her more. If the possibility he was involved in something really serious and probably dangerous or the fact he just mentioned there would be no conflict for him, between lovers. What did he mean? Was that positive, for her? Or was he really good in separating feelings from their affair?

"What did you get yourself into, then, Jason?" she softly asked

He breathed, letting out a frustrated smile "There is no way of saying this without making it sound terrible" he spoke "Alicia, I should have left Chicago a long time ago... I really didn't expect to find something... someone to make me want to stay longer"

Now, Alicia felt flattered.

Her heart ached from both happiness and sadness. If, on the first hand he just opened up to her and told her such words, on the second hand he was just hinting he was leaving.

"I'm kind of... more dangerous than I painted myself when we first met" he whispered

"What, trying to play bad boy who got into trouble now?" Alicia whispered, tightening her grip in his hand

He sadly stared at her "It's not that... I really just want no one around me to feel any kind of consequences for something that's on me"

"Alright, you are scaring me now, Jason" Alicia grabbed his hand "What is it?"

"I need to go, Alicia" he breathed, kissing her hand "For the sake of you and Grace and... Lucca..."

Her eyes widened as she watched him stand up "You are just really going to leave without enlightening me?" Alicia breathed

"If you find it in yourself to believe me, Alicia, just know everything I said concerning you and how much I like you and enjoyed our times together... well, it's true." he stopped by the door "And if you ever hear stuff about me, promise to note it may not be the entire truth"

"Jason, you are acting like a prick, now" Alicia stood up, watching him open the door of her office

"I know, I'm sorry" he whispered, before turning around without looking back.

Alicia called for him, but only once, since she couldn't find it in herself to do it again. Anger was building up inside her and yet, she could not quite figure out what to feel.

Had she just lost Jason Crouse without knowing why?