Chapter 1: I
Izuku knocked on the door to the Bakugous’ house. This was it. His hands cradled the letter in his hands gently, making sure to avoid any creases or unfortunate accidents. The letter had to be in as perfect a condition as possible before he left.
The well-oiled door to Kacchan’s house opened. Bakugou Mitsuki had a surprised expression as she looked at him.
“Oh, Izuku-kun! What are you doing here? My stupid son isn’t back yet.”
“Hello, Bakugou-san. I was just wondering if you could pass this to Kacchan for me,” he said, smiling at her. He felt affectionate emotions welling up in him as he gazed at Kacchan’s mother. Izuku carefully handed her the letter in his hands.
Mitsuki reached out for the letter with a slightly puzzled expression. “Of course,” she said, subconsciously handling the letter with more care.
“Thank you, Bakugou-san. It was nice seeing you again.”
Before she could further inquire about why he was passing her a letter for her son instead of passing it to him himself, Izuku left.
Izuku reached the front of his door and sighed. He’d covered all his bases. Everything was prepared. His sufferings would finally end. He felt a mix of complicated emotions. Some part of him was still crying out for him to wait a little longer. Hold on for a little while more. Another part had already given up. Frankly, everyday hurt. The look in Kacchan’s eyes as he mocked him felt like a slow but ever steady stream of pain.
The green-haired teenager unlocked the door and stepped in, greeted by silence. He took a slow glance across the room, taking in the sights for the last time. He felt a small pang of loss, reminiscing about how his parents danced together across the living room. The living room couch they cuddled on as they watched the News. The kitchen his mum cooked in as she hummed tunes. His bedroom where he and Kacchan –
Izuku shook his head, steadfastly pushing away any lingering regrets to the back of his mind. He spotted the letter that he had written on the dining table that explained everything.
The teenager stepped on the cool tiles of his bathroom. He silently climbed into the bathtub, sitting inside comfortably. This was it. He’d already left his last words for Kacchan. Hopefully what he would say would convince the other that it wasn’t his fault. This was his choice, and no one else’s. He would never let his selfish actions affect Kacchan’s chances of getting into UA.
Since he couldn’t have Kacchan’s affections, rather than the malice and despise that the other felt every time that was directed at him, he would rather feel nothing.
Izuku let out a hollow laugh. It seemed every Midoriya would suffer from this quirk. At least it would end with him. The Midoriyas would no longer exist. No one else would suffer like him and the rest who shared his name.
The messy-haired teen sucked in a light breath as he brought the razor to his wrist. Before he could talk himself out of it, he cut deeply, repeating the same actions on the other wrist.
Crimson drops immediately welled up from the cut, before rivulets of red steadily made itself down his arms. Izuku took the time to admire the color, running his fingers through the life liquid that was inside him moments ago.
The pain that he felt was so strange. It was different from the kind of hurt he had gotten used to. This was so much more… physical was the only way he could describe it. It was a wonder he hadn’t already done this before. He felt like he was centering on the pain from the cut, rather than the ache inside him when he thought of Kacchan.
He stretched out his hand, watching the glistening liquid under the artificial light from his bathroom. It was the exact same shade as Kacchan’s eyes.
Izuku lowered his hand, feeling tears well up at the thought of Kacchan. He wouldn’t be able to see Kacchan ever again. Even though the other hated and despised him, nothing would diminish the feelings that still burned bright inside of him. Unrequited love. He never imagined it would hurt this badly.
He felt the tears silently flow down his cheeks, allowing himself a moment of weakness before his death. Surely, no one would judge him. Crystal drops fell onto the red already pooled at the bottom of the bathtub, creating ripples.
Izuku felt the grasp he had on his thoughts slowly becoming hazier as he leaned back onto the cool plastic of the bathtub, closing his eyes as he let his consciousness drift away.
The words “Making a leap of faith from the roof and believing with all your might that you will have a ‘Quirk’ in the next life” cut him deeper than he had imagined, because they came from Kacchan specifically. Kacchan’s feelings at that time were a mix of contempt and disdain. His eyes gave him chills with how they projected his hate.
Hopefully, in his next life he wouldn’t be born with this Quirk again. Hopefully, he would find a love that would be requited.
It would all be ending soon.
I love you, Kacchan.
Bakugou Mitsuki felt slightly puzzled and worried as she thought about Izuku-kun. His goodbye to her had felt slightly off to her. It felt strangely final, as if he was prepared to leave without further contact.
She recalled his gentle smile. It was dazzling. She hadn’t seen her son’s friend smile like that in a long while. Not since Midoriya Inko and Hisashi had passed away.
Mitsuki pressed down whatever lingering concerns she had about Izuku. Perhaps he was just trying to reconcile with her son? She knew they had their disagreements. Most of the time her son was in the wrong, but he would never acknowledge it. Perhaps he would finally heal from the scar that the passing of his parents had left him. She knew he was never the same after seeing his mother in that state.
She placed the letter she received from him in Katsuki’s room. Hopefully the two of them would make up.
As she prepared dinner, she heard the front door slam shut, instantly igniting the rage within her. “BAKUGOU KATSUKI. What did I say about slamming the door?!”
“Ahh, shut up you old hag. I know, I know,” said Katsuki, rolling his eyes at his mother. He threw his school bag at the side of the door.
Katsuki groaned as his mother started swearing at him whilst lecturing him. Whoever said that his mother was pretty calm compared to him had obviously never seen her at home.
After she ranted to her content, she suddenly realized she hadn’t told Katsuki about the letter yet.
“Izuku-kun dropped by around 2 hours ago. He left you a letter. I left it on your bedside table.”
“Hah?” said Katsuki. Why would that Deku pass him a letter? He had just exploded his Hero notebook a few hours ago.
Katsuki frowned, heading up to his room. He felt irritation spike within him as he looked at the plain white letter on his bedside table.
He gripped the paper roughly, opening it with a flick. What could Deku possibly be thinking?
His eyes drifted to the black words written on white paper.
His eyes drifted to the black words written on white paper.
“Kacchan—” it started off. Stupid Deku. He’d already left the letter specifically for him. Why would he need to address him again?
“Before anything else, I want you to know that my decision was not your fault. Don’t worry, I would never let something that I do affect your future. Just in case they overlook it, I left a letter explaining everything on the table. I can’t live without you, but I also can’t live in the face of you despising me at every encounter.
There isn’t a day that doesn’t hurt.
The Midoriyas, that is, a person who contains the slightest bit of Midoriya blood, tracing back up to a hundred and fifty years ago from when Quirks first manifested, have a mutation Quirk. It wasn’t always the same, but before Quirk manifestation, Midoriyas all possessed some form of Empathy.
Our Empathic powers used to be a general Empathy, which was directed at every individual we came across. Before Quirks, Midoriyas were well known to be charismatic, social butterflies. Psychiatrists, nurses, doctors, anything to do with mental and social health, there was a Midoriya who topped the field.
Everything changed when Quirks emerged in China. To be honest, this manifestation happened to our Clan before any discoveries were made. The Midoriyas all developed some sort of mutation in our Empathic abilities.
Specifically, our Empathic abilities became focused on a single individual. They later theorised that the first person we exchanged a full kiss with, lip on lip, would be the person that our Quirk locked on to.”
As Katsuki read the letter up to this point, he had a slowly growing sense of horror that was budding in his chest. His knuckles whitened as he unintentionally wrinkled the paper slightly with how hard he was gripping it. Deku –
“Midoriyas call our Quirk the ‘Soulmate Quirk’, or ‘Soul Quirk’. There are also some who call this manifestation ‘True Love’s Kiss’, and ‘Certain Death’.
It doesn’t matter who we first exchange a kiss with. Something in our brain gets triggered, and Midoriyas experience their ‘First Love’ and their ‘Only Love’. Nothing will change the course of our feelings. They can be nurtured and grown over time, but all of us will love unconditionally.
Partners of Midoriyas who are infidel, who don’t love back, even those who murder, etc. It doesn’t matter. Midoriyas have one shot at love, and only that one shot. Later generations learned to zealously guard our first kiss, but the damage had already been done.
Midoriyas were once a widespread and well-known name, but after our Quirk made its appearance, there were no shortage of us who essentially became a Villain in the name of love.
Everything depends on the Midoriya in question, as well as the person whom they first exchanged the kiss with.
On the contrary, something that will never change is the suicide of the Midoriya who has lost a partner to death. There are also those like me, who will never be able to receive any positive emotion from their love, who choose to end their life rather than suffer the pain of the contempt and hate from the other party.
Our Quirk allows us to feel the other party’s emotions in depth, and while it may seem to outsiders that this is an invasion of privacy, we have no way of control over our Quirk, and whatever the other party feels specifically for us is multiplied, often overriding our own emotions in whatever context.
We would never allow ourselves to hurt the other party, regardless of what has been done to us. Living without the other is impossible, but living with hurt every day is preferable from being apart from them.
There have been some of us who have successfully furthered ourselves from the other party in the case of them not returning our affections, but the hollowness in our Soul drives us insane.
Rare are the chances of a Midoriya finding a love that lasts long. My father was one of the rare minority that was able to build a family.
Of course, everything changed the day my mother died in a Villain attack. What happens next doesn’t need to be described in detail, but he tried to hold on longer out of love for me, but ultimately succumbed just like many others of our Clan.
Now, I am the last of the Midoriyas. May this Quirk end with me, and never have any others who suffer like I do.
Kacchan, I don’t blame you, nor do I regret having my first kiss stolen by you.
Living day by day with your hatred directed at me, I’ll be honest. In the beginning I was mainly startled at the changes of your emotion when you first had the conclusion that I was “Quirkless”.
Our Quirk is a secret Midoriyas hold close to our heart. Oftentimes, many significant others do not know of our Quirk. I’m leaving this behind only to explain in hopes that you don’t blame myself for your death. Even my mother knew nothing about our shared Quirk.
Should you want to know more, we have the books containing the Midoriya Legacy left behind in the study room.
The day you stole my first kiss was the day my father had sat me down at the table, explaining everything. When you kissed me as ‘the Hero gets a kiss from the Damsel in Distress’, that was the first day the love I hold for you bloomed in my heart.
I’ve held your affections for two years, and that’s much longer than some of the other Midoriyas who have never experienced anything. Whatever positive emotions you had for me changed to despise, annoyance and contempt. I tried to hold on longer, but I can’t. I’m sorry.
I don’t regret having my first kiss with you. Even if I could change it, I wouldn’t. I’ve never thought of trying to forget you, like how some of the Midoriyas before me have tried to do. Your existence fulfils something deep inside of me, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
It’s better I go now before my death can have any impact on your future ambitions. If I could go after you’ve made it into UA, I would, but I don’t have the strength to continue struggling on anymore.
If there’s anything I regret, it’s that I have nothing that can help you, besides being some emotional support should you ever need it, and knowing you, Kacchan, you probably don’t.
Unfortunately, I’m just Deku.
I’m no help to you for your Hero ambitions. The data I’ve collected on other Heroes, you don’t need. The research I’ve made on your Quirk, you don’t want.
I have no reason to continue living.
I’ve made the arrangements for my body, but if you are willing, would you consider doing me a favor and scattering my ashes in the wind? That way I’ll always be around you. If you don’t want to, that’s fine as well.
I love you, Kacchan.
I hope you find love one day, and that they will love you just like how I’ve loved you.
Katsuki had completely crumpled the paper from how hard he was gripping it. Deku – he was…what? Going to kill himself…? No!
What did he think he was doing?!
The blonde tore out of his room, dropping the paper on his floor in the process.
Mitsuki is startled as her son barrels down the stairs. She gets a shock as she realizes that Katsuki’s face is completely devoid of blood. He looks pale and panicked.
“Mom!” he yells, gripping onto her wrists. “Did Deku tell you where he’s going?”
The moment the words “No” make it out of her mouth, he’s out the front door, running as hard as he could towards Izuku’s house. He doesn’t hear the startled words of his mother, his mind completely focused on Deku.
No. He can’t just die like this. He can’t end his life only at the age of fourteen. Katsuki made no move to suppress the horror and dread growing within him. It was all his fault. If only he could look past Deku being “Quirkless”, treating him the same as he had before. If only he hadn’t let other people’s perceptions influence him.
His pride wasn’t worth this. Wasn’t worth Izuku’s life.
The moment Katsuki arrived in front of Deku’s – no, Izuku’s door, he prayed harder than he ever had that the door wasn’t locked. He could blast the door down, but what if Izuku was behind it? What if – he pushed his errant thoughts away, refusing to entertain the thought that Izuku might already be dead.
Katsuki felt the dread and horror overflow within him. Luckily, the door was unlocked. Was that so when we come for his body we wouldn’t have to expend extra effort –
The teen hurriedly stepped in.
He had never heard a silence quite so loud.
The scent of blood was overwhelming. It was overpowering. The metallic scent that he had become intimately acquainted with over the years had never gave him the dread that it did today.
He wasn’t quite sure how he found his way to the bathroom, but the sight that greeted him would surely give him nightmares in years to come.
Izuku’s unmoving body lay in the pristine white bathtub. The mossy-haired teen’s lips were tinted blue from the lack of oxygen and blood.
Katsuki collapsed to his knees.
Izuku looked like he was already dead. The tears that hadn’t come before suddenly sprung to his eyes now. The green-haired teen was covered in his own blood. In the back of his mind, Katsuki deduced that the other had slit his wrists.
The teen’s originally white uniform shirt was mottled with spots of blood. The blood was pooling underneath his body. Trails of blood were on the sides of the tub, and his face had a few errant drops here and there.
Most prominently, Izuku had evidently pressed his lips to his wound, covering his lips with a deep shade of red.
Deku – Izuku – no – no – he can’t be dead.
Actually, I have haemophobia (the fear of blood) so I don’t know what I’m doing to myself by writing this. Frankly, I made myself feel weak and dizzy. Not entirely sure how I got that out.
What do you think? Should I just directly kill Izuku off or let him and Katsuki try and mend their relationship?
Deku – Izuku – no – no – he can’t be dead.
Katsuki felt like he couldn’t think properly. It felt like things were running in slow motion. It was as if someone had hit the pause button on a television screen. A million thoughts were running through his mind, but it felt fuzzy and out of reach. It felt like someone had replaced his brain with cotton wool instead. Nothing made sense. Things were unconnected and hazy as he looked at Izuku’s body.
He felt strangely detached.
His eyes traced Izuku’s features. His chest was barely moving.
Katsuki scrambled forward, ignoring anything else. He’s alive! Thank god, he’s still alive.
Katsuki pressed hesitant fingers to Izuku’s wrists, where his blood was escaping sluggishly out of the wounds, before gritting his teeth in determination and pressing harder, trying to stop the blood flow. His fingers were instantly coated with the congealing blood.
It should have been warm, but the blood from Izuku was already slightly cool. Not surprisingly, this caused him to feel even more worried. The green-haired boy’s skin was clammy and cold to the touch. He could feel the rapid, weak pulse. Katuski felt so relieved that his friend was still alive. He also felt unbelievably panicked.
He’s going into shock. Izuku’s going into shock!
The weight of the situation slammed into him like a two ton truck, leaving him winded and breathless.
Phone. Where was his phone?! He lifted the hand closer to himself to rummage shakily through his pockets, leaving fingerprints of red.
“Fuck,” Katsuki chanted, paling further. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck!”
He’d chucked his phone inside his bag the moment school ended. Then, when he got home he flung aside the bag like a fucking moron.
He immediately pressed his fingers back to Izuku’s wound, trying to prevent him from losing even more blood. The weak pulses that came from the other were an indication of how he couldn’t stop Izuku from losing blood. It was just leaving the wound at a slower pace.
What did he do now?
What did he do now?
“Izuku, don’t die on me. Don’t you fucking dare die on me, you hear me?” Katsuki couldn’t feel his hands anymore from how hard he was gripping Izuku’s wrists, but he refused to let go.
‘I – I still have to – to apologize. Don’t take everything I’ve said seriously, stupid Deku! Stupid, stupid. Why did you take me seriously?! I’m just a fucking moron.” Katsuki took a shallow breath, trying to reassure himself that Izuku could hear him.
Katuski gave a bodily flinch as a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.
“Please let go now. We have to rush and give him a blood transfusion,” said the gentle yet firm voice.
Katsuki looked behind him to see two paramedics dressed in blue. As soon as he realized they could help Izuku more than he could, he tried to remove his fingers quickly, but they were unresponsive. He grit his teeth and pried his fingers off the bloody wrist one by one.
One paramedic gently herded him aside, before quickly and efficiently helping the other stabilize Izuku’s prone body on the stretcher. They seemed to be using some kind of Quirk to help Izuku, but he couldn’t tell just what it was, or what it was doing.
They fitted an oxygen mask over Izuku’s mouth and nose, trying to get him more oxygen into his lungs.
The two paramedics quickly loaded him into the ambulance, speeding away to the nearest hospital, horns blaring loudly.
Katsuki knelt down heavily on the floor, his hands pressing onto the cold tiles of the bathroom, breathing heavily. He felt such stark relief that Izuku had managed to get help even though he had been completely useless in forgetting his phone in his rush.
Katsuki didn’t believe in a higher authority, but right now he was praying with all his heart and every inch of his determination to any god he could think of that Izuku would be okay. He was even willing to give up going on to become a Pro-Hero if he could have Izuku back. Anything, he prayed.
Bakugou Mitsuki slammed into the apartment, breathing heavily. She had run to Izuku’s apartment at her fastest speed. She spotted her prone son, kneeling on the floor as if all strength had left him.
“Katsuki,” she said, sobbing. She gathered him into her arms.
Katsuki buried his head on his mother’s shoulder. For all that he had grown, he wasn’t taller than her yet, and at this moment he had never felt as relieved about that fact.
It felt like the dam of tears gathered within him was threatening to break free, but he forcefully held them back, squeezing his eyes tightly, pressing his head deeper into the crook of her neck. He didn’t deserve to cry. Not after putting Izuku through all those things.
He felt the tears in his hair, and he allowed his mother to cry for him. It felt like a heavy weight was pressed on top of him. He felt stifled. He pressed his hands onto her back, hugging her tightly.
She must have read the letter he dropped on the floor after seeing him rush out like that. Thank god. Thank god she was there. That she had read the letter. That she’d called the ambulance for Izuku immediately.
Katsuki didn’t know how long had passed before he felt emotionally stable enough to let go of her.
He swiped roughly at his eyes. He might not have let any tears fall, but that didn’t mean they didn’t gather. The regret felt like a huge shadow in his heart. He had never meant to push Izuku to this point. Since when had his feelings for his friend start turning down a darker path?
It was his fault. Social preconceptions had influenced him deeply, preventing him from staying by Izuku’s side like he should have upon thinking that he was Quirkless. Izuku had never wavered from his side. Even when he had thrown punches or explosions at him, the other had stuck by his side.
Katsuki stood up shakily, intending on heading to the hospital to look for Izuku.
“Hospital,” he said.
Mitsuki startled at his voice. It was hoarse with suppressed emotions. She nodded and got up as well, heading towards the door.
Katsuki felt as if a sledgehammer had slammed into him. His eyes locked onto the two red palm prints on his mother’s back.
He felt tears well up again. Izuku’s blood. The life blood that flowed through his veins that kept him alive and healthy. It was splattered everywhere.
As the two of them left the apartment, they heard a loud explosion in the direction of the hospital, followed by the screams of civilians and sirens blaring.
Katuski paled. A Villain?
A Villain is attacking the ambulance Izuku is in?
Still feeling weak as I write this. I actually dreamed of this scene… and woke up feeling weak too.
The type of shock Izuku is going through is hypovolemic shock, which is shock caused by severe loss of blood which makes the heart unable to pump enough blood to the body, or severe anemia where there is not enough blood to carry oxygen through the body.
Everything is self-edited, so please excuse my mistakes.
A Villain is attacking the ambulance Izuku is in?
Katsuki broke into a run. They’d better not have fucking attacked Izuku’s only hope at survival, fucking Villains!
He felt the rage bubble and explode, enveloping him. He wasn’t seeing red, like how other’s had described it, but instead his concentration and focus was narrowing on the single thought of Izuku’s safety.
How the fuck was he supposed to catch up?
Katsuki ground his teeth in anger and pushed himself to run faster. Adrenaline was overflowing. He was running faster than he’d ever before.
Soon, he spotted debris and a couple of wrecked cars that were still smoking. The blonde teen slowed down his pace slightly, desperately scanning the wrecked cars. Katsuki exhaled a sigh of relief. He didn’t spot any white vehicles resembling the ambulance within the scene of carnage. There were a few people who sported minor injuries helping each other away from the area.
Katsuki felt his heart squeeze in worry. While he was slightly relieved that the Villain evidently hadn’t attacked the ambulance, he knew that Izuku wasn’t out of danger just yet.
He prayed harder that nothing happened to Izuku. Hopefully, the ambulance was already far from here and hadn’t been affected by the Villain.
Katsuki spotted a non-existent shop window, glass fragments were littered on the ground. That must have been what he heard explode earlier, along with the screams.
The ground shook suddenly, making him wobble and fight to steady himself.
“Have no fear! For I AM HERE!”
His thoughts jolted to a stop. All Might is here?
Katsuki shook himself out of it. Now was not the time to fanboy over All Might, no matter how much Izuku might want an autograph.
He grit his teeth and continued running in the direction of the hospital. He spotted All Might battling it out with a disgusting blob of green slime. It wobbled all over and was reaching out for All Might, trying to envelop him. All Might punched it and it exploded into smithereens, before abruptly reforming itself and running away.
Katsuki ran past them with determination, trying to keep out of their way.
All Might roared and dashed forward, his white teeth blinding.
The Villain dodged nimbly, fleeing down the street with All Might hot on his heels.
Katsuki subconsciously registered everything in the back of his mind, but took no heed of them and ran harder towards the hospital, leaving behind the Villain and All Might, ignoring the two of them as best he could.
All Might would be able to handle it.
Behind him, Katsuki didn’t realize the Villain had tried for him as he ran past, but had to dodge at the last second as All Might tried to punch him again as he caught up. Not having a hostage, the slime wobbled slightly in annoyance and dashed for the sewers, successfully evading All Might, leading to a city-wide chase of the Villain.
The worry for Izuku was almost crushing for Katsuki. He wasn’t used to feeling these emotions. Katsuki was accustomed to rage, pride and glee, but not these. They felt heavy and dense. He felt like he couldn’t breathe from the vast amounts of stress and worry he was under emotionally and mentally. He felt very unbalanced
He felt useless, pathetic and worthless. He could only worry senselessly, but he couldn’t help Izuku at all.
The shiny, silver metallic building that was the hospital arrived in his sight before he could feel too breathless. He didn’t know how long he had been running, but the sight of the hospital allowed him to reassure himself that Izuku would surely have gotten help in time.
He hadn’t seen the ambulance crashed anywhere on the road that he had been running on, and that was the quickest road towards the hospital.
He burst through the hospital doors, startling several patients and nurses.
The receptionist glared at him. Her look softened slightly as she caught sight of his face. It was pale and pinched in worry. He was also covered in sweat, his bangs sticking to his forehead.
“Don’t run in the hospital next time! You never know what might happen if you accidentally crash into someone.”
“Okay,” agreed Katsuki, heart clenching. What would have happened if someone like Izuku was being rushed through and he crashed into them due to his running?
“Please tell me where my friend is. His name is Midoriya Izuku. He was rushed here earlier due to excessive amounts of blood loss.”
Katsuki didn’t even have to work at being polite. He was so desperate for some answers that everything was coming out naturally.
“Ah… that boy,” she said, shooting Katsuki a sympathetic look. She’d seen him rushed in earlier for a blood transfusion. He’d looked inches away from death’s embrace. How traumatising must it be the one stopping his friend from committing suicide. She’d spotted the blood splatters on his clothes.
“Room 11 Ward 41, Section A. Midoriya Izuku. He’s in his own room on possible suicide watch.”
“Thank you,” breathed out Katsuki, finally allowing himself a moment of relief that Izuku had received medical help in time. He walked at a brisk pace whilst keeping an eye out for his surroundings.
“Section A, Room 11 Ward 41…” he muttered to himself.
Katsuki hesitated in front of the door. His heart was pounding in his chest. It felt like his heart was trying to escape his body with how hard it was beating. He wanted to go in, but his feet were rooted to the spot. It felt like he had been anchored down.
His hands hovered over the door handle. His hands were clammy and unresponsive. He wiped the sweat that had gathered on his pants. He wouldn’t even harbour the faintest chance of his emotions getting the better of him and causing an explosion where Izuku was in the vicinity.
A janitor with his cart pushed past him, clattering noisily. Katsuki startled out of his stupor. His hands unintentionally gripped down on the door handle.
He hesitated again, before gathering the strength to slide the door aside, stepping in and sliding the door close again.
His eyes hungrily drank in the sight of Izuku.
Inside, Izuku lay on pristine white sheets. He looked so fragile laying there. Katsuki felt like he would simply drift away while he wasn’t looking. His face was still pale, but at least had a hint of color in his face, unlike before. Izuku’s wrist had never looked this thin to him before. It looked delicate and fragile on the pale white sheets, with a needle inserted into it that was attached to the blood bag.
Katsuki’s eyes lingered on the white bandages decorating Izuku’s wrists. Beneath them lay the wounds that he wished Izuku didn’t have to bear.
The door to the room slid open with a slight whoosh. Katsuki turned back to look at the intruder to the room. It was a doctor. He looked tired. His face held a reassuring smile that was well-practiced, but his eyes betrayed him, showing how weary he looked.
The doctor gestured for Katsuki to step outside. Katsuki struggled with himself before stepping out and sliding the door close.
“As Midoriya Izuku no longer has any living relations, I can only tell this to you, Bakugou-san. Midoriya-san passed out from massive blood loss. At the point he was attended to by the paramedics, he’s lost more than half of his total volume of blood. His brain was oxygen deprived for one minute, but we managed to get him a transfusion before it could be any worse. Bakugou-san, Midoriya-san is very lucky that you managed to stop more blood from being lost, and he owes you his life.”
The doctor paused in his explanation, before continuing in a softer voice. “I know this will be hard to hear, but we don’t know if he will ever wake up, but there is a chance he will.”
Katsuki felt his nose sour and held back his tears for the umpteenth time that day, taking a deep breath and thanked the doctor with a heavy heart. He stepped back into Izuku’s room.
Please wake up, Izuku.
Katsuki collapsed in the chair next to the bed. He lightly touched Izuku’s hand to reassure himself that he wasn’t dreaming, that Izuku was still alive. He was still breathing.
The teen pressed his hands together in a praying pose, praying hard that Izuku would come back to him. His knuckles were white from how much strength he was using.
Katsuki pressed closed eyes to his hands, eyes scrunched shut. His heart and nose felt sour. His eyes were stinging. They were just watering, that’s all. He wouldn’t allow himself to cry if Izuku didn’t wake up. Katsuki sucked in a couple of breaths to keep the waterworks at bay.
What have I done?
What have I done?
I fucking did this to you.
Please , Izuku.
I promise I’ll be a better friend.
I don’t know if I love you, but we can work on that.
Please come back, Izuku.
I don’t know why I’m doing to myself. Researching about this seriously makes me feel faint.
Please drop me a comment if you liked it!
Chapter 5: V
A look into how Mitsuki is feeling.
Also, taking a break from torturing Katsuki with emotions.
Please come back, Izuku.
Katsuki sat at Izuku’s bedside for an undetermined amount of time before he was dragged kicking and screaming into Morpheus’ thrall.
Mitsuki sighed, spotting the edge of her fallen son’s uniform from the window in the door. She’d allowed him some alone time with Izuku-kun whilst she waited in the hallway. She entered the room as quietly as possible, trying not to disturb the rest of her son. She cast worried looks at her two children, one who had barely escaped from death’s grip, and the other who had silently worried himself to sleep.
She brushed blonde locks softly, trying to impart some reassurance to her son. His brows were furrowed even in his sleep, not able to escape from his worries and regrets as his subconscious tormented him. She had hoped that he would be able to get some form reprieve in his sleep, but it looked like it wasn’t happening.
He was lying prone on the edge of Izuku’s bed, one hand reaching for Izuku’s. His fingertips were barely touching Izuku, as if afraid of inflicting further hurt on the other, whilst simultaneously reassuring himself that he was there.
She hadn’t seen her son look this vulnerable in years. He hadn’t allowed himself to be vulnerable. She knew he his ego had been developing to, frankly, unhealthy levels, but she hadn’t known that this change would have hurt Izuku deeply. She’d thought that the two of them were engaged in friendly bickering, and that was what she had gathered from the way Katsuki had muttered about him with complaints, about him being ‘shitty Deku’.
When she looked at Izuku-kun, she couldn’t help but suck in a breath of shock. He looked markedly different from how she saw him mere hours ago. He was so pale. The stark contrast of the red line going into his skin caused her to feel nauseous. His adorable freckles stood out sharply on this pale skin. Usually, they were hardly noticeable unless you got close. She could almost feel the lingering, cold, bony fingers of death trying to drag her second son into its embrace.
She longed to see her second son open his eyes and flash his pretty smile at her. She wanted to see green eyes light up as they gazed at Katsuki.
Izuku-kun, her heart cried out. It was aching and swelling with worry and concern. Her heart was weeping silently. She considered Izuku a son to her, just like Katsuki. These feelings had become especially pronounced after she learnt that Inko had passed away in a Villain attack, which was consequently followed by Izuku finding his father’s body hanging in their apartment barely two months later.
To learn that he had been driven to suicide had triggered every single protective motherly instinct she held inside her, especially because it was the cause of her fucking son’s actions.
The two of them had been as thick as thieves in their younger days. She wasn’t quite sure when it had changed, but she swore to herself that she would make this right.
Mitsuki allowed silent tears to fall as she gazed at the two teenagers. She allowed herself to cry for Katsuki, who didn’t allow himself. She cried for Izuku, who had gone through suffering, loneliness and uncertainty. She cried for herself, who had almost lost a son.
She had been blind to everything that he had been going through. She should have realized something was wrong when the times her son brought Izuku over had dwindled and slowly faded to nothing, no matter how often she had inquired and prodded him to.
She let out an unintentional sob. Mitsuki quickly checked whether she had unintentionally caused Katsuki to waken. She took out a handkerchief from her pocket and pressed it to her face, muffling her sobs.
She’d chased after the doctor after he left. She had just arrived at that time and hadn’t heard what he told Katsuki. Every word he spoke felt like a heavy blow to her chest.
Don’t know when he’ll wake up, he said. She almost felt like Izuku had already crossed death’s doors. She shook herself out of it. She had to stay positive. Izuku would awaken, and they would be able to right the wrongs that they had done to him.
She thanked every instinct that made her read that letter Izuku left for Katsuki when her son had run out of the house like a demon possessed. She thanked every course in university that made her an avid reader, helping her speed up her reading. She shouldn’t have ignored the alarm bells that rang when she had last seen Izuku.
Mitsuki let out a slightly hysterical laugh that was muffled. Her voice was choked with tears. Thank god she listened to that little voice in her head and called for an ambulance immediately. Her stupid, fucking idiot of a son had left his fucking phone in the house. She put aside the matter of Izuku’s Quirk for the time being. They would be able to discuss this when he was awake. She felt the stirrings of anger arise in her as she recalled the contents of Izuku-kun’s letter. What the fuck had her son been doing?
The blonde woman grit her teeth as she pushed down the cocktail of feelings she had inside her.
Her hands trembled slightly now that she had confirmed that Izuku was relatively alright physically. He hadn’t come back to them yet, but he would. He would. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself. Unfortunately, in this moment, she happened to glance down at her hands.
Mitsuki shuddered as she keenly felt the blood that was left flaking under her fingernails. She had gotten blood all over her in Izuku’s apartment. She felt dizzy and faint. She felt light-headed. Her phobia was hitting her unprecedently hard. There was a reason why she wasn’t a nurse or wasn’t a Pro-Hero, like her son and Izuku were aspiring to be. Her teeth started chattering slightly.
She’d lived with this fear for as long as she could imagine. There hadn’t been some traumatising incident where she had developed a fear, but rather, it had always existed. She thanked every god up there that she had been able to put aside her fears for her children.
It wasn’t until she had let herself feel everything and stopped compartmentalizing the emotions that her phobia hit her at once.
The bloody marks that Katsuki had pressed into her almost caused her to hyperventilate. She took measured breaths and controlled her breathing, stopping herself from having a panic attack. She didn’t know how she got blood under her fingernails, and she didn’t want to recall.
Mitsuki flinched at the sight of crusty red. She stood up abruptly, heading to the bathroom attached to the side of the room. She still had the state of mind to quietly shut the door.
She fumbled a few times as she tried to get the tap to turn on. As the water tumbled from the taps, she pressed two hands quickly into the hot water.
Mitsuki scrubbed hard as tears rolled down her cheeks. Her breaths were coming in short pants.
She scrubbed and rubbed, until her hands were raw, but not bleeding. Never bleeding.
When she felt satisfied that she had gotten every inch of her hands and fingernails clean, she felt her heartbeat slow down significantly.
Mitsuki valiantly ignored the voice in the back of her mind telling her that she still had blood on her clothes.
Now was not the time to be weak. She had to be strong for her boys. She had to be here to support Katsuki and Izuku. She had to… call her husband?
Mitsuki gawked. She had completely forgotten about her husband!
The fumbled for the phone in her pocket, quickly calling him and informing him of what happened.
When she entered the room again, Katsuki was awake. He was staring at Izuku with a blank face.
Mitsuki enveloped him in a hug in a re-enactment of the scene from Izuku’s apartment, whispering soothing words to her hurt son.
She hurt deeply for the two of them. She was still angry with Katsuki, but she knew her son didn’t have a bad heart. He’d just been led slightly astray.
Come back to us, Izuku.
Thank you for all the reviews and comments! They were a treat to read.
P.S. Do you think I should space out my updates?
Katsuki grit his teeth when the nurse on duty tried to get him to leave. Like hell he would leave Izuku now. Not when he was still unconscious and fucking vulnerable.
The nurse could take her fucking pitying and disapproving glances and fucking shove them up her – Katsuki felt his mother’s hand on his shoulder, stopping him from lashing out.
Katsuki’s bared his teeth in a snarl. He wouldn’t leave Izuku now. He wouldn’t.
“Katsuki,” his mother started, “leave the nurse alone. She’s just doing her job. Visiting hours are over.”
Visiting hours are over, so fucking what? He would fucking stay with Izuku until he woke up, and no one would be able to stop him!
“Katsuki,” his mother repeated sternly. “We are going home. You are going to clean all the blood off yourself, freshen up, get some food, get more sleep, then we can visit Izuku again tomorrow, alright? Listen to me. Do you think Izuku-kun will be happy to see you in this state?”
He felt an absurd amount of hopelessness and regret surge within him at his mother’s words. That was a low fucking blow. Using Izuku against him. Katsuki felt his eyes water traitorously.
His nose felt sour.
He knew she was right, but –
Katsuki cast a lingering glance at Izuku. He still looked frail and vulnerable in the bed. He looked ridiculously small. Awake, Izuku exuded a wordless presence to him. He always felt like Izuku drew his attentions and his eyes way too easily. He couldn’t ignore him even if he wanted to, and that had made him furious. It had felt like a slight on this pride, that he was always categorizing and monitoring Izuku’s reactions, even unconsciously.
Looking at the unconscious form on the bed, Katsuki felt the overwhelming urge to protect this fragile existence from the outside world.
No one else will ever fucking hurt you again, he swore, not even myself.
Katsuki felt torn.
Knowing Izuku, he definitely wouldn’t want to see him like this. That suicide note left for him confirmed that fact multiple times. The stupid, considerate moron tried to reassure him several times.
How would he ever be able to make up for causing harm to Izuku?
Katsuki stomped down on the cocktail of feelings that were threatening to surge. He would only let out his feelings when he was alone. Not in the presence of some stranger.
Katsuki left the hospital with his mother, his anger sizzling under his skin. As he sat in the car, he felt anger at himself, anger at his mom, anger at the nurse, even anger at Izuku himself for allowing things to get this far.
The blonde teen immediately felt ashamed and regretful the moment he had the last thought. He knew it wasn’t their fault. The nurse was just doing her job, and his mother was trying to get him to take care of himself. It definitely wasn’t Izuku’s fault. The blame all lay on himself.
Everything was caused by him.
If only he had pushed aside what everyone thought. If only he had persisted in their friendship instead of trying to drive the other away. If only he had –
The car jerked to a stop, breaking him from the cycle of self-hatred that he had unknowingly driven himself into. Katsuki woodenly followed his mother into the house.
She quickly heated up some leftovers that they had the day before, not having the mood nor the patience to start cooking.
He forced down the food, one agonising bite at a time, constantly reminding himself that he couldn’t cause Izuku any worry when he woke up.
Everything tasted like ash. He blankly thought to himself this is what it would be like if he was able to produce explosions in his mouth.
When Katsuki stepped into the bathroom, he was hit by the vivid flashback of Izuku’s body lying in the bathtub with red, red, red.
Katsuki felt bile rise in his throat. He slammed his eyes shut and took shallow breaths, trying to push away the memory. He could still smell the metallic tang in the air.
By the time he had washed up, and was lying in bed, his mother pressed a kiss to his forehead, her eyes betraying her worry and sadness, he had no idea how he had gotten through bathing.
The door closed softly behind her. He heard her move away from his door towards her room.
Katsuki categorized his room mechanically. Everything looked just like how it had always been.
As he looked towards his left, his eyes caught sight of white paper. Before he knew it, he’d sat up.
His hand trembled slightly, reaching towards the sheet that held so many words of love, both spoken and unspoken. His fingers glided over the paper gently in an attempt to straighten out the creases he had left so carelessly.
His eyes traced over the words, again and again, before a small droplet of water suddenly landed on the slightly crumpled paper.
He glanced upwards at the ceiling but found nothing, glancing back down at the paper.
Where was – oh.
He was… crying?
He, Bakugou Katsuki, was crying?
The weight of the situation suddenly slammed into him.
Katsuki squeezed his eyes shut. The feelings that accumulated during the day suddenly overwhelmed him, bursting out at once. The grief he felt for causing harm to Izuku, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. The deep-rooted regret he felt, down to his very bones at the damage that he had caused to his first friend. The one he knew now that was his only true friend. The one who had always been with him, through the years. The presence that had never faltered in his life.
Never faltered, until he pushed him too far, his mind whispered.
Katsuki let out a broken sob, before trampling down on his waterworks with sheer willpower alone.
He didn’t deserve to cry.
He pressed his face into his hands. His eyes felt hot, and his nose felt runny.
Katsuki wiped his hands to ensure they were free of tears and carefully placed the letter aside before heading to the bathroom to splash some water on his face in hopes of calming down.
The blonde spotted his reflection in the mirror.
His eyes were rimmed with red, and his eyelids were swollen, like he had just spent a long session crying. He looked dispirited and tired. He saw the faint beginnings of dark circles under his eyes.
He looked like one of those girls in the chick flicks that got dumped by their boyfriend.
Or their boyfriend died, whispered the voice in his head.
He felt tears well up again.
There are also those like me, who will never be able to receive any positive emotion from their love, who choose to end their life rather than suffer the pain of the contempt and hate from the other party.
Izuku’s words from the letter rang loudly in his mind.
Katsuki felt a surge of panic envelop him.
Would Izuku immediately try to commit suicide again if he woke up in the middle of the night?
Izuku would think that he still hated him, still despised and loathed him.
“No!” he panicked, hurriedly dressing himself. He had the sense of mind to grab his phone. The lesson from before was deeply imprinted on his soul.
Katsuki ran out of the house.
What did you think of the Mitsuki chapter? Hope it gives you some insight into her character!
Panicking!Katsuki makes his appearance again.
Katsuki ran out of the house.
Night had already descended. The fucking stars were twinkling condescendingly at him set in a pool of black.
Thankfully, the streetlamps were sufficient to guide him to his destination. Katsuki pushed himself to run harder. Izuku was still unconscious, but who knew when he would wake up?
If by any chance he woke up tonight while Katsuki wasn’t there, knowing Izuku, he would probably unhesitatingly hurt himself further and try to commit suicide again. The doctors just fixed him up! He couldn’t be allowed to undo all their hard work!
Katsuki felt his panic level raise a notch at that thought.
Izuku, he prayed, don’t do anything stupid.
Sweat was pooling in his palms at the thought that Izuku still thought he hated him.
He felt so fucking useless. He was completely and utterly useless in helping Izuku. He had no medical knowledge, and he had no reassurance that Izuku wouldn’t do anything stupid.
From what Izuku had written and implied about his Quirk, a certain amount of distance meant that he wouldn’t be able to feel his soul-bonded. That meant Izuku might think that Katsuki had left him all alone in the hospital, leaving him to his fate. Leaving him to his life or death without any regard.
If only he hadn’t left the damn hospital!
He shouldn’t have listened to his mother.
Katsuki rearranged his priorities immediately. He should have considered and accounted for every possibility. He’d make sure to do so from now onwards.
The hospital was like a burning beacon amidst the dim surroundings.
Katsuki panted from the exertion. He’d been pushing himself to run at breakneck speeds for the whole distance and hadn’t even realized it. As a future Pro-Hero, he should have been keeping track of his stamina consumption, but frankly, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind.
He quickly considered his options. There was no way the nurses would let him in again. Visiting hours are over. So, he had to dodge nurses, doctors and…janitors?
Katsuki hesitated, before recalling that Izuku’s room was conveniently located on the first floor. There was a window in the room, which couldn’t really be opened much, only the slightest amount.
The blonde teen circled around the hospital, finding the correct window that led to Izuku’s room. He glanced around cautiously, taking note that no one seemed to be around, nor was there a nurse in Izuku’s room. He was slightly frustrated that he couldn’t see Izuku from the window, but he pushed down the panic that threatened to surge up and instead narrowed his focus.
Plans rapidly flew through his mind. He quickly disposed of some of them, before deciding on his plan of action.
Katsuki scaled the wall, entering the second-floor window.
Inside, a middle-aged man was staring at him. He seemed slightly tense.
The man looked like a skeleton. That was the nicest way to put it. He looked practically skeletal in his thinness. He looked slightly depressed and tired, which caused faint feelings of empathy to well up within Katsuki. He knew how that felt, especially after today. He had spiky blonde hair, which was a shade that reminded him slightly of All Might, but Katsuki quickly pushed aside any thoughts that didn’t relate to The Plan.
“Just passing through,” said Katsuki, feeling the strangest need to give this literal stranger some comfort. “Ignore me.”
Katsuki quickly exited the room, leaving behind a baffled Toshinori Yagi.
The blonde darted to the edge of the hallway, making sure that no nurses or doctors were making their rounds.
He silently and vigilantly made his way down to Izuku’s room.
Katsuki breathed out a sigh of relief when he managed to get into Izuku’s room unmolested.
Relief mixed with disappointment crashed into him the moment he realized Izuku was still whole and further unharmed.
On one hand, he was happy Izuku hadn’t self-mutilated himself once again, but on the other hand, he was also disappointed that he hadn’t regained consciousness. He wasn’t quite sure what was worse.
Katsuki lowered himself into the seat he had vacated a few hours earlier. The chair was hard and cold.
He gently brushed his fingertips across Izuku’s hand.
Katsuki struggled with himself. His eyes flickered with hesitation. He wanted to hold Izuku’s hand to reassure himself, but he wasn’t sure if anything he did might aggravate Izuku’s wound.
In the end, he hesitantly hooked his index finger around Izuku’s. He instantly felt much steadier and calmer than before. Izuku didn’t feel as cold nor as clammy as he did before. His heart squeezed in relief.
Katsuki bit his lip, forcefully beating back the tears into his glands. He couldn’t afford to look away from Izuku. Who knows what stupid things he might do during his inattention.
Izuku, who had been so full of life before.
Izuku, who valiantly stood up to him when he had bullied other kids.
Izuku, who had a brilliant smile which felt like sunshine.
Izuku, whose tears had once caused him genuine distress.
Izuku, who bore the brunt of his hatred in the past couple of years.
Katsuki felt rubbed raw both emotionally and mentally. It felt like a giant open wound, oozing blood and pain. The misery and grief was slowly and steadily gathering with every passing thought.
He felt like Izuku had within a span of a day, singlehandedly tore down each brick that he had built to keep himself safe.
The bricks that were there to keep himself detached from Izuku.
Those very bricks were crumbling down.
Izuku had managed to worm his way into his heart once, but he’d done everything he could to try and keep him out, layering on the false feelings of scorn and despise.
Thinking back about it, he’d conveniently used the fact that Izuku had seemed to be Quirkless to justify himself and all his actions.
He wasn’t sure when, but the faked emotions had turned to genuine hatred.
Katsuki wondered if he would have continued down this road had Izuku not managed to knock some sense into him.
He let out a hollow laugh.
How much must it have hurt? Izuku, who had to constantly live with the thought that Katsuki would never love him? Would only ever harbour negative feelings for him?
Izuku had gone through each meeting with the feelings of hatred and despise, feeling them first-hand. He had been able to know just how genuine those feelings that Katsuki had held for him were. He couldn’t even give himself any denial that Katsuki was just pretending.
Katsuki couldn’t imagine the sheer agony that Izuku must have gone through.
At this moment, he still didn’t feel love for Izuku. But he would try. He could work on his feelings, but Izuku had to wake up first.
Katsuki had been forced to acknowledge that in his heart, he had still held emotions of friendship and goodwill towards Izuku.
“You better fucking take responsibility,” he muttered, a slight hitch in his voice.
He’d give anything to hear the words “Kacchan” from Izuku’s mouth again.
“Kacchan,” he heard.
Cliffhanger. Next chapter should be out soon.
I’m on a roll! The words are just flowing.
Comments keep my motivation up pleaseee ;)
“Kacchan,” he heard.
Katsuki almost gave himself whiplash as he looked towards Izuku, startled and hopeful at the same time. Izuku had regained consciousness.
However, he was bound to be disappointed. Izuku’s laid motionless on the bed, not a sign that anything had changed. He should’ve known better than to hope. Katsuki’s hand unwittingly clenched down on the bedsheet. Looks like he’d wanted to hear Izuku’s voice so badly that he’d hallucinated it.
Katsuki swallowed, feeling distressed.
“Please, Izuku,” he whispered, as if sharing a secret only between the two of them, “I’ll do anything for you to come back. I deserve to suffer for what you’ve gone through, but you must come back to me first. Please. Please, Izuku.”
The time seemed to pass by in a blur. It was silent. Muted. He felt like he had been transported back in time to Izuku’s apartment. Katsuki had always been prone to noise. His life was basically filled with sounds and explosions. Izuku’s noisy muttering in the classrooms, laughter and shouted words.
The silence rang loudly in his ear. It was deafening. It was so, so quiet. Katsuki latched onto the fact that he could hear Izuku’s steady breaths. He hated the silence more than ever, but he loved it at the same time.
He could still hear Izuku’s breathing, and he’d never been so relieved.
Katsuki felt like his soul was quiet. He felt chill and frost running through his veins. He felt like he was trapped in a dark void. It was consuming him. Devouring his thoughts, his emotions. Engulfing him in silence. The shadows of his heart were coming back to haunt him.
It taunted him.
The voice mocked him. Telling him what he could have done. Whispering the words, if only you’d been home quicker, if only you were a better person, if only, if only.
Katsuki felt like he was stuck. He was trapped in the never-ending loop of distress. The thoughts churned incessantly within his mind.
When he tried to distract himself with something else, he realized that the hospital room was just shades of white, and he fucking hated it.
Katsuki recalled that he’d once heard a person describe white as a shade, not a color, but he’d scoffed at them. To the him back then, white was obviously a fucking color, but who knew the day would come that he’d take back his words. He’d never experienced the feeling that only white could bring.
Some said white was the color of purity, of innocence. Maybe it was just him that felt this way. The shades of white felt like they were burning. It felt like it was scorching itself on his retina. Even the room was rejecting him. Was he so sure that Izuku wouldn’t as well? It felt like the room was asking him: How dare he blemish the innocence? How dare he press his black heart on the white of Izuku’s, marring it forever? Staining it black, black, black.
Looking at Izuku trapped in this white hell, Katsuki thought to himself that if he could, he’d whisk Izuku away, bring him back to comfort, to a life filled with color and joy. He’d give Izuku whatever he wanted and would stay by his side to right his wrongs.
A life without Izuku…he couldn’t imagine it, nor did he want to.
As he thought about a happier life, the darkness once again consumed him. It whispered about how he wasn’t worthy. Everything was his fault. Even if he wanted to, he didn’t have the right.
The thought felt like barbed wire on his heart. It dug in, causing pain, causing blood, causing wounds. He bled and wept silently. He was battered, damaged, and he deserved it. Barbed wire clung to his heart. The dark thoughts were never far away. The moment he tried to think of something else, sharp edges cut him, bled him.
There isn’t a day that it doesn’t hurt, Izuku had written. He wondered to himself if this is what it was like. If this could even compare a fraction to the hurt that Izuku had felt, had experienced. If this was his road to redemption, he would gladly take it.
Katsuki couldn’t rip his eyes away from Izuku. He traced over messy, green hair. Eyes that were shut closed, faint marks under his eyes. Pink lips that were barely parted, freckles on his cheekbones. Frail hands, delicate wrists, his body relaxed.
He suddenly thought that this was the most peaceful he had ever seen Izuku. In his presence, he always seemed to be cringing away, almost as if anticipating the blow, the hurt.
Katsuki felt the barbs around his heart squeeze a little tighter, leaving him breathless.
How much? How much have I hurt you?
Katsuki felt a scream build at the back of his throat.
He took a ragged breath and forced himself to keep breathing.
Each breath felt like a punishment, especially when he recalled that Izuku might have taken his last. He felt both better and worse. Punishment felt like repentance and solace at once.
Katsuki must have passed out without knowing, because the next thing he saw was the nurse looking at him disapprovingly.
He stared at her blearily, things weren’t making sense to him.
Suddenly, he felt something twitch against him.
Things snapped into clear focus.
Did he just imagine that?
Katsuki glanced at Izuku, both worried and hopeful. Had he felt Izuku’s fingers twitch, or was he just overthinking it again?
“Izuku?” he said hesitantly, “Izuku, can you hear me?”
He heard the nurse quickly leave the room, presumably to call the doctor.
There was no response.
No further twitches.
Had he just imagined it after all?
Katsuki felt despair overwhelm him.
Heaven and hell were next-door neighbours. He felt like he’d soared into the vast skies of heaven, only to be struck down mercilessly and plunge into the depths of hell.
He felt numb.
Katsuki fell back into the void of silence. He listened to the breaths Izuku took. He counted them.
Suddenly, he realized something that had been pinging at the back of his mind. Izuku’s breathing was slightly different from before.
He had felt that twitch. He wasn’t dreaming!
The relief gushed over him like a tsunami. It was unstoppable and unavoidable. It was as if a bright star had lit itself in the dark void he’d been in. It shone its light gently for all and none at the same time. It was far, yet it was near. So close, yet so far. It evaded him by the edge of his fingertips. It was tangible and intangible at the same time.
I…am so sorry. Izuku was never meant to wake up this chapter. Torturing Kacchan more was too appealing…
But he’ll wake up soon!
Give me some feedback please
Izuku stared at the pretty ball that was radiating light in front of him. It was the only thing he was able to see in the darkness. It pulsed with a deep shade of crimson, reminding him of Kacchan. Moments before, he had been cold, cold, cold, but now he was warm.
Izuku felt like he spent countless hours staring at the ball of light, completely enchanted. The ball trembled, quivered, and radiated a warm heat, making him wonder if this would be what Kacchan would be like if he were to be represented by a ball of light.
The green-haired boy felt smitten, watching the calming pulses of the light. He almost felt like he was back with Kacchan, the feeling of love and affection that constantly permeated from the depths of his Soul.
The thought jolted him from his watching.
It reminded him of Kacchan?
Is this ball the manifestation of ‘Certain Death’? Am I dead? Or am I alive? Izuku thought doubtfully.
He didn’t know why he was trapped in this dark space. Shouldn’t he have either ascended to Heaven or descended to Hell? Fading to nothingness was what he thought would happen, but it doesn’t seem to be the case.
Izuku sat in the dark with only the ball resembling Kacchan as his friend. It shone a gentle red light, basking him in warmth and affection. He felt calm and soothed, like he was lying in his bed, under the covers.
If this ball was the result of his Quirk, did that mean that this was the manifestation of Kacchan’s Soul? In that case, that meant that whenever changes the ball experienced, was Kacchan experiencing some fluctuation of emotion?
Izuku still didn’t know if he was dead or alive. Could it be that through death, his Quirk had followed him? Izuku let out a hollow laugh. ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ indeed.
Suddenly, the light weakened, causing panic to flare up within him. Where are you going? Don’t leave!
The messy-haired boy resolutely pressed his hand towards the crimson ball of light, reaching out for it.
The emotions of guilt, sadness, regret, mixed along with hope slammed into him. Izuku gasped. The feelings were intense. Izuku felt the emotions pressing into him, confusing him. Were these Kacchan’s feelings?
The extra emotions were making it hard for him to think. He felt like he couldn’t form any cohesive thoughts. It was like a thick cloud had enveloped his thoughts, leaving him fumbling in the dark. The emotions were extremely overwhelming. They almost felt like his own. He felt like he was wading through quicksand. It was sinking him deeper and deeper into the emotions. He was being drawn in even thought he was putting up a fight.
He struggled. He tried containing the emotions. He tried pushing them out. In the end, he managed to erect a barrier within himself and the Manifestation of Kacchan’s Soul.
Izuku panted heavily, lying on the ground after his legs gave out. He’d ripped his hand away from Soul Manifestation earlier whilst trying to contain he emotions, but it hadn’t seemed to do much to decrease the intensity.
The feelings still sat on a thin layer across his skin, giving him access to the emotions, but they were less intense now. Less over-bearing.
Izuku laughed slightly, the fondness for Kacchan filling his entire being. Even Kacchan’s emotions reflected his personality perfectly. His face changed at the thought. Guilt? Sadness. Regret. Hope!
The teen struggled to his feet. He had to get out of here!
But…was he alive or dead?
If he was alive, he was probably unconscious, but if he was dead, was he just destined to remain here for eternity?
Izuku frowned, determination filling him. Kacchan was hurt. He couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. He had to at least try!
Izuku looked around him. There was nothing but darkness and oblivion. It was devoid of all things, both living and non-living. What greeted him was the void.
There was nothing there. It also seemed that trying to move away was impossible. He couldn’t leave the vicinity of five meters from Kacchan’s Soul. Izuku paused. There should be some way to return to consciousness through his link with Kacchan’s Soul.
Izuku pressed onto the Soul Manifestation with both hands this time. He was once again immediately assaulted with the feelings of guilt, sadness, hope, regret. He embraced the pulsing soul, letting go of his defences.
He sank into the feelings.
Darkness enveloped him. There was nothing in his sights. No more Soul Manifestation, no more colors, no more light. He was part of the void, and the void was him.
He felt feelings pressing insistently against his skin, a thin layer of concern, hope and guilt. Izuku felt both elated and guilty at the feelings. Were they for him? Were those feelings for him?
Izuku wished fervently for it to be so. He would take anything other than hate, contempt and despise. Wait, no. That wasn’t true, he thought, backtracking. He imagined Kacchan feeling nothing but indifference for him, and shivered, the cold permeating his bones.
His hand twitched a little at the thought, feeling distressed at the mere thought of Kacchan simply ignoring his existence. Haha, he’d rather go for another round of suicide if that was the case.
Izuku struggled against the invisible chains that seemed to bind him, restricting his movements. He felt a slight warmth against his index finger. What was that?
He almost felt like a stranger in his body. It was almost as if he didn’t have full control over his body, or was rusty, like he hadn’t used it for a long time. His breathing slightly sped up at the loss of control. He felt helpless and distressed. The feelings that were pressing against his skin didn’t help any matters. Despair and numbness mixed into one, influencing him.
Izuku struggled to open his eyelids. His eyelids fluttered as a piercing bright light blinded him in its intensity.
He opened his mouth to ask if they could turn off the lights, but only a weak rasping cough left his lungs.
Izuku tried again, his eyes watering from the light, blinking furiously.
As his vision cleared up, he spotted blonde hair in the vicinity.
He cleared his throat, saying in disbelief, “K-Kacchan…?”
Izuku broke out the waterworks. It wasn’t only because of the lights, but also the feelings that Kacchan and he were experiencing.
Relief, happiness, joy, and guilt, guilt, guilt.
The rush of positive emotions left him teary.
He was enveloped in warmth, a body temperature higher than other’s held close against his own.
Izuku realized that the body pressed against him was chanting his name.
“Izuku, Izuku, Izuku, Izuku, Izuku…” the voice carried pure relief and guilt in spades.
Yep… Going to end it here.
Izuku is awake!
Till next time!
“Izuku, Izuku, Izuku, Izuku, Izuku…” the voice carried pure relief and guilt in spades.
Katsuki felt pure elation crash through his entire being, as well as the proportionate surge in guilt. Izuku had never felt as solid to him as he did then. When he was unconscious, Katsuki had felt like Izuku would just slip away from his grasp in a split second.
The moment Izuku had called his name, he had quite literally never heard a voice sound so sweet and soothing to his soul. It almost felt like the angels had descended from the heavens and taken root in Izuku.
Thinking about how he could have lost Izuku had he been even the slightest bit too late or hadn’t tried stem the flow of his blood loss, he felt the tears well up again.
He was so fucking relieved.
Katsuki could atone for his wrongs, as well as whatever else he had caused the leadup to this, but he wouldn’t have had the chance had Izuku never regained consciousness.
Katsuki felt the tears that he had been holding back spill over without any hope of repressing it again. He had tried to hold it back, but he wasn’t able to do it. Even though he still didn’t think he had the right to cry, his body had a mind of its own. His voice had gained a slightly wet quality due to his emotional state.
The angle of him leaning over Izuku whilst hugging him was uncomfortable, but it didn’t even register in comparison to how he had needed Izuku in his arms.
He choked off his words, burying his face in his friend’s hair. He didn’t want Izuku to see him like this.
Katsuki tried to hold back a sob, and ultimately failed. He drew in a ragged breath. His cheeks were wet. Tears were dripping down into Izuku’s hair. His eyes were stinging. His nose felt sour and blocked. He took solace in the fact that Izuku was in his arms. Izuku’s presence soothed him.
He felt Izuku push him away before sitting up and placing gentle hands on his face. His thumb brushed away the trail of tears from his cheeks.
“D-Don’t cry, Kacchan,” he heard. “If you cry, I’m going to—” Izuku broke off, tears welling up in his eyes.
Izuku broke down, partly influenced by Katsuki’s emotions.
The two of them cried in each other’s presence, not bothering with the fact that they were still in the hospital.
“You f-fucking idiot,” cursed Katsuki. “Of all things, why did you try suicide.” The tears that had been trailing off came back in full force.
Izuku let out a wet laugh, ignoring his question.
Katsuki grabbed his hand, and looked him in the eye, gripping it hard. “Don’t you dare do that again, you hear me?”
When Izuku didn’t respond, Katsuki felt a surge of panic and fear that Izuku wouldn’t respond with an agreement.
“Promise me,” he insisted.
Izuku closed his eyes, turning his head away.
“S-sorry, Kacchan. I can’t promise you that.”
Katsuki felt the panic growing stronger.
“Please. I’ll do anything you fucking want me to, but you have to promise me that you won’t try to take your life again.”
Izuku let out a sob, shaking his head. His hand clenched in the bedsheets below.
The arrival of the doctor interrupted them.
Katsuki waited outside sullenly, pressing his palms to his eyes, suppressing the tears. He needed to be in there with Izuku. The doctor hadn’t cared. He’d tried to protest, but when Izuku had told him to leave as well with a soft voice, he had complied unwillingly. Fucking bastard of a doctor, Katsuki thought uncharitably. He knew the man was just doing his job, but Katsuki couldn’t care less at this moment.
The moment the doctor exited the room, Katsuki immediately entered, feeling relieved when Izuku was still seated in the same position as before, not looking any different.
He knew that it was practically impossible for Izuku to disappear the moment he left his sight, but Katsuki couldn’t help how he felt. No matter what he told himself, there was still a lingering voice in the back of his mind that told him Izuku would just slip away silently.
“Izuku,” he said seriously. “Don’t avoid the fucking topic.”
The fact that Izuku said he couldn’t promise him meant that Izuku still had thoughts about ending it all. That was plainly unacceptable to him.
He honestly couldn’t feel reassured unless he got Izuku to promise him. Izuku always kept his word, no matter how hard it was.
When he received no response, Katsuki felt the tears that he had successfully stopped in the duration he was outside flow out again.
He grabbed Izuku’s hand, placing it on his chest. “You can feel my emotions, can’t you?” Katsuki paused. “You said so in your letter. Can’t you feel how I’m feeling right now?”
Izuku put some pressure into his fingertips, almost as if he could physically feel Katsuki’s emotions from his hand.
“Yes,” he whispered, voice low and unbelieving.
“Please believe me,” Katsuki said, pouring his emotions into these three words. “I will never do anything to hurt you again. Please, Izuku.”
When Izuku didn’t do anything but look away, Katsuki bit his lips. He felt raw. Izuku had been the only one to bring out such intense emotions from him even when he was young. What he was feeling now was several times more intense than the panic he had faced earlier.
Katsuki sat by him silently, until Izuku looked him in the eyes again. The other teen’s eyes were red-rimmed, and his cheeks were red. Tear stains were the only evidence anyone needed to make a conclusion on what had happened.
Katsuki mirrored Izuku’s earlier actions, brushing away the tears from Izuku’s freckled cheeks. He felt achingly desperate and protective over this small figure in the white hospital bed.
His heart ached.
The amount of pain he had caused, he could never make up for, but he could make a solemn promise to himself that he would try his best to give Izuku happiness.
Katsuki gave a self-deprecating laugh. Talk was cheap, but he would prove it with his actions, or his name wasn’t Bakugou Katsuki.
He narrowed his eyes in determination.
He would give Izuku happiness in life, even if he had to trade his.
Sorry about the delay. I wrote another version of this from Izuku’s perspective, but it didn’t quite fit into my plans, so I wrote it from Katsuki’s POV instead.
Hope you enjoyed!
No cliffhanger this time haha :)
Please comment ;~;
Izuku watched Kacchan leave the room with his mother.
Mitsuki-san had hugged him in a vice-grip and scolded him severely for trying to take a permanent solution to his problems. He could sense her affection bleeding through her words. It was a very strange feeling. Although her words were harsh, she had been genuinely concerned for him. If he teared up a little during her scolding, it was because she was too harsh, that’s all.
Izuku never realized anyone in this world still cared for him, and her concern lit a warm fire within him. However, he couldn’t quite bring himself to regret anything.
He could feel Kacchan’s longing to stay with him, but he couldn’t in good conscience ask him to stay. It wouldn’t look good on his record. As far as he knew, Kacchan had a perfect attendance record. He’d never missed a day, even if he was sick.
That was how much being a Hero meant to Kacchan. Honestly. Despite Kacchan’s success at being a ‘bad boy’, somehow their peers never noticed that he attended every lesson without fail. Izuku smiled slightly. It was the little things that made Kacchan so endearing to him.
He wouldn’t allow himself of all people to mar the spotless record that Kacchan had successfully built. He wouldn’t allow it. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he did. No matter how much he wanted Kacchan to stay, it didn’t hold a candle in the face of Kacchan’s future. His wants and desires don’t matter in the long run.
His sole purpose in life was to ensure that Kacchan would be happy in the future.
The lingering hug Kacchan gave left him tingly inside. He felt giddy. Kacchan’s sudden kindness left him breathless. It felt good. Really, really good.
The amount of worry and concern Kacchan was a layer of comfort on his skin. Izuku rubbed a hand up his arm, almost able to feel it physically. It made him shiver in a good way. He felt light and floaty. The difference in emotions Kacchan felt for him was very addicting.
He just hopes it lasts.
Izuku pressed a hand to his pounding heart. The sharp stab of pain from his wrist when he moved his hand reassured him that this wasn’t a dream. He wasn’t trapped in whatever dreamscape he had been in before. He buried his face in the pillow, smiling deliriously.
He thought about how gently Kacchan had treated him, feeling the rush of endorphins. He basked in Kacchan’s feelings before slowly descending from his high as Kacchan widened the distance between them, until he could no longer feel anything but his own emotions.
He hesitated as he felt nothing else. Izuku brushed a gentle thumb over his wrist, feeling unsatisfied by the slight pain. He pressed down harder on his stitches, telling himself this wasn’t a dream. Kacchan had changed, right? He wouldn’t just go back to hating him once he was over his shock, would he?
Izuku teared up at the thought.
He sucked in a breath, squeezing his eyes shut, willing the thought away. He would just go with the flow. Whatever Kacchan wanted, Izuku would be happy to give him. It didn’t seem like he still hated him at this moment, so Izuku would take whatever he could get, until Kacchan hated him again. Then, he would leave quietly.
Izuku suddenly gasped as a thought hit him, jerking up to a sitting position on the bed, dislodging the needle in the crook of his elbow, ripping the tape off and splattering blood on the floor.
Oh my god, he thought, I threw away all the pictures of Kacchan I have!
Izuku felt like slapping himself. He’d hardened his heart and threw them all away in the event that the police or whoever searched his home and found his many pictures of Kacchan and took that as evidence of his cause of suicide.
He panicked further, thinking about the explanation letter that was left on the table before calming down and feeling sheepish.
In any case, he hadn’t died yet, and the police couldn’t just go through his things without a search warrant.
He could just get more pictures of Kacchan. Perhaps this time, he would be next to him.
Izuku pulled the tube up from the floor, hooking the tube to the stand holding the blood bag in a way that stopped more blood from leaving out before leaving to inform the nurse about what had happened, not wanting the nurse to hurry here from the call button only to leave again after she knew what happened.
The green-haired teen wandered down the hallway, not encountering a single nurse. He frowned, before deciding to head up a floor in hopes of finding a nurse.
As he passed multiple doors, his frown deepened.
He was feeling…strange.
He didn’t know quite how to describe it. It almost felt like how he felt around Kacchan, but it was muted. Dull. It felt foggy. Sometimes he felt sharper emotions from certain doors.
The gears started turning in his head. It almost seemed like he was experiencing – he gasped as a heavy load of depression and loneliness slammed into him, causing him to stagger.
Izuku struggled to his feet. These emotions were strong, but they were nothing like how he felt when around Kacchan. This almost felt more like an intrusion. With Kacchan, it almost felt like he was experiencing the emotions himself. They were a part of him.
These emotions, however, he could clearly differentiate. He would never think that these emotions had stemmed from him. It felt detached, but at the same time it was present.
Izuku glanced at the nameplate on the door. Toshinori Yagi.
The emotions that the other was feeling were quite intense, especially if he compared it to the others he had felt on the way. Izuku almost instinctively wanted to deny what was happening, but something deep down whispered to him to go in.
He hesitated for some time outside the door, not sure if he should intrude or not. It wasn’t exactly polite. He didn’t know the other person, after all.
Something clicked in his mind. He was sure of it now. He was experiencing Empathy, almost like how he had imagined his ancestors before Quirks had become commonplace.
Izuku was confused. This had never happened before. What triggered the change?
He frowned, determined. In any case, he couldn’t just ignore the other now that he was aware of their pain.
He knocked on the door.
Who saw that coming?
Not me…Izuku takes a life of his own in my own writing.
Leave a comment if you enjoyed it! :D
Katsuki felt like he was going insane.
Izuku, that stupid moronic idiot had been missing for ten months. TEN FUCKING MONTHS.
There hadn’t been a phone call, a letter, sms. Nothing. Fucking NOTHING.
Katsuki was equal parts worried and mad. However, the longer Izuku remained missing, the more his worry increased. There was only one thing that even eased his worries the slightest amount. He knew Izuku wasn’t planning on committing suicide again.
But still, he could’ve called or something. He just left him a single note that said, “I’ll be back, Kacchan.”
That was fucking it.
Just an “I’ll be back, Kacchan”. Then, he disappeared off the face of the fucking planet. Fucking fuck, Katsuki swore. He visited all the spots he knew Izuku frequented before, but there was no trace of him. His apartment also showed no signs of tampering, nor was there anything missing.
Just thinking about it increased his anger levels exponentially. He was so fucking worried he couldn’t even sleep properly at night. He’d spent so many sleepless nights his eyebags were practically as black as fucking night. Those fucktards at school even asked if he’d become an insomniac. Fucking extras.
It rankled that no one even gave a thought about Izuku disappearing. He’d never realized how little friends Izuku had. Was he truly the only friend he had? Tears pricked Katsuki’s eyes. No wonder he’d been willing to put up with him, no matter how badly Katsuki had treated him. No wonder he always came back, never leaving. No wonder he’d fucking resorted to suicide.
Dammit, he swore he would at least punch Izuku once for causing him to worry this much. Katsuki felt bitter. Who was he kidding? No, he wouldn’t. No matter what he said now in his fit of anger, he knew he couldn’t bear to hurt the other again, not after what he’s already done, not after all the hurt Izuku’s been through.
He was worrying himself out of his goddamn mind, and that idiot Izuku was doing god knows what out there.
Katsuki had applied to UA, like how he’d always boasted before, but his heart wasn’t really in it. How could it be, when he didn’t even know how Izuku was passing his days? Know how he was feeling, how he was faring?
He trudged to the UA Entrance Exam in low spirits.
Being a Hero had always been his dream, but now that he was on the verge of taking steps in the right direction, it felt like something was missing. It felt like a hollow victory.
Ten months ago, before Izuku’s suicide attempt, he’d imagined that Izuku would be next to him when the time come, annoying him with his timidity and muttering, not giving up despite being Quirkless. After his suicide attempt, Katsuki thought to himself that he would support Izuku no matter what he wanted to do. If he wanted to be a Hero, Katsuki would do his best to support him no matter what happened. Now that Izuku was gone, he felt out of sorts. It felt like half of him was missing. He felt incomplete. Shattered. Broken.
He’d never realized how his life seemed to revolve so much around Izuku and his presence. A single day without him had already driven to the edge of madness, more to say about being missing for a full ten months. That nerd had slipped through his defences without him noticing, inserting his presence into his life so deeply that there was no way he could recover.
He was ruined for life, and Izuku had better fucking take responsibility, or he would never forgive him.
Katuski frowned, wondering to himself if this was how friends felt for each other. If he thought about it, how he reacted was rather extreme, wasn’t it?
He’d seen friends get separated before, but the way they acted didn’t seem to hold a candle in the face of his intense emotions. Or were they just better at hiding it?
He couldn’t quite make any connections, considering Izuku was his only true friend. If he had another friend, would he also react the same way?
Katsuki’s frown deepened. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, telling himself to ponder over it later. It probably wasn’t important anyway. So what if he felt like crying every time he looked at Izuku’s empty seat. He was sure other people would react the same way if they had a friend that had almost died, then realized he’d gone missing.
His feelings were just generally more intense than other people anyway. Everyone else was dull and monotone. Even when they were angry, many of them just seemed to take it lying down, unlike him. He wasn’t sure if they just didn’t have the guts or just weren’t angry enough, but Katsuki had never claimed to understand people, and he didn’t want to.
They didn’t have significance in his life, not like Izuku. He wanted to pry Izuku’s mind apart and understand him. He wanted to know what made the other tick. Somehow, his reactions were interesting, unlike the rest of the extras. He wanted to categorize every reaction Izuku had and imprint it in his memories.
He wasn’t sure if that just made Izuku special.
The old hag loved Izuku to bits and pieces. He’d seen the way she reacted to his close call. He’d seen the red-rimmed eyes when Izuku disappeared. He’d heard the quiet crying from the bathroom door. She didn’t seem to realize that things echoed in the bathroom.
Even his old man had seemed rather quiet in the current months. Izuku had wormed his way into his family. No. Their family. There was no way that Izuku was anything other than family.
Katsuki made his way into the hall with his hands in his pockets.
The hall was filled with a million UA hopefuls. Katsuki felt stifled. There was so many fucking people, and they were all crowding. At least no one else had any personal space in here, so he better suck it up. He’d come this far now.
Even if Izuku wasn’t here, he would represent him in his stead. He would carry the ambitions for the two of them. He felt a pang of loneliness at the thought. He missed Izuku. He missed his cute freckles, his messy green hair, his wide green eyes, red cheeks – he slapped himself mentally, scowling.
He’d fallen low to be mentally waxing poetic about Izuku’s looks. But he missed seeing his smile – he slapped himself again.
Katsuki sat down heavily on his seat, glaring down at his feet, re-evaluating his life choices.
He felt the presence of another person sitting beside him, shooting his annoyance levels through the roof. That seat should’ve been for Izuku, not this random fucking extra – oh.
Hehe, silly Katsuki. Absence makes the heart fonder.
Katsuki's still bad with his feelings.....
Please leave a comment :)
He felt the presence of another person sitting beside him, shooting his annoyance levels through the roof. That seat should’ve been for Izuku, not this random fucking extra – oh.
His mind stalled for a moment before he realized the person sitting beside him wasn’t just another random extra, but the person he had been desperately looking for in the past ten months.
Katsuki drank in the other’s features, taking in his perpetually messy green hair and his fucking adorable freckles that were like the many stars set in the night sky, his green eyes and holy shit. Izuku had buffed up while he was away, and he looked nice. Really nice. He carried himself in a more self-assured way, and that newfound confidence just made him look more attractive to Katsuki.
“Hi Kacchan,” he said shyly, lightly biting his bottom lip.
As Katsuki’s eyes locked onto Izuku’s lips, something in Katsuki’s mind snapped. Before he could process anything else, he surged forward in a sudden motion, his body having a mind of its own. He must’ve startled Izuku, because he flinched backwards, but he wasn’t having any of that, no. Stupid Izuku better stay there, or else. He hooked a hand around the other’s neck, dragging his face closer.
Katsuki resolutely pressed his lips to his stupid nerd’s desperately the moment he was close enough, categorizing in the back of his mind how soft Izuku’s lips were. They felt like finely spun silk. Izuku’s lips felt like a hot branding iron on his. He was too busy with his sudden revelation to feel embarrassed about the low-pitched whine in the back of his throat that he was unable to stifle.
So. He liked Izuku. It suddenly made sense now. He had been fucking pining over the other in his ten months away. How had he never fucking put this together before? Something poked him mentally. He reviewed the last ten months, as well as his…feelings. Okay, so. He had seen a bunch of crushes first hand, and he was pretty sure there was absolutely no fucking way his feelings were as shallow as that.
So, he was in love. With Izuku. With his fucking shitnerd. To the most fucking adorable boy in fucking ever. Well. He was now buff and adorable. Good thing he knew Izuku loved him back.
Affection and relief bubbled up within him, sending shivers down his spine. He heard a distant squeak but ignored it in the face of getting more. He felt a single arm wrap around his waist, dragging him nearer effortlessly.
It sent a shudder through him. Oh god, did Izuku just…? Since when was his nerd that strong? Was it weird that it left him strangely hot?
Katsuki ran hands up Izuku’s stomach, groaning lightly at the abs the other had apparently gotten in the time he was away. They were toned and hard. Izuku was no longer the same seemingly frail figure he was before. There was strength in his frame, power in his newly acquired muscles.
He gasped when he felt a hand squeeze his waist, and another hand holding his head in place. He felt strangely giddy. Katsuki shivered, pressing closer to the warmth, mouthing against Izuku’s lips. He felt so warm and at peace in this moment. It felt like all his thoughts and troubles just melted away.
Then, of course, someone had to interrupt them.
“– and you two over there! Can you stop your PDA? It’s disrespectful!”
Katsuki felt the rage bubble up and being interrupted before the words made sense to him.
Oh my god. What the fuck had he just done?!
Katsuki broke away from Izuku’s grasp, face burning red.
He buried his face in his hands, not wanting anyone to see his red face, desperately trying to suppress the embarrassment he felt.
He’d forgotten he was in a room full of people. Possible future classmates and teachers alike, no less.
Katsuki managed to get the redness to recede from his cheeks, looking up and trying to appear as unaffected as he usually was.
He snuck a peak at Izuku, and the heat that had barely died down instantly flared back up. He felt breathless.
Izuku looked like he wanted to devour him whole. His eyes were roaming all over him, almost like he couldn’t get enough. He looked hungry, and Katsuki felt something inside him squirm in glee.
Katsuki looked away from him, cheeks tinting red again.
For fucks sake, they completely skipped the steps of confession, dating, kiss, and had just jumped straight to the kiss.
He ruffled his hair in frustration. He had just realized he was in love with Izuku a few minutes ago, damn it. Well, admittedly, it was partially his fault, but it was also Izuku’s fault, okay. Sitting there looking all innocent, like nothing was wrong.
Katsuki cut off further thoughts as they were split up into groups to do the entrance exam to UA. He couldn’t afford to be distracted now. He would drag Izuku home with him, if it was the last thing he did.
He took out his embarrassment on as many fucking robots as he could, blasting them into pieces. He was still burning with embarrassment from the earlier wolf-whistles and catcalls.
Katsuki paused the moment there were no more enemies in the vicinity. Come to think of it, why the fuck was he being embarrassed?
The fucking dickbags now knew he and Izuku were together, so they better not have any fucking ideas. The thought left him smug.
He crossed his arms and leaned on the wall, waiting by the exit for Izuku’s group to finish their entrance exam. As more and more people trickled out from the exit, he frowned at the lack of Izuku.
Where was he?
Katsuki stormed in, the people who were exiting moving out of his way due to the obvious rage on his face.
He was shocked as he spotted Izuku’s prone form on the stretcher being carried away. An irrational worry hit him as he had a flashback of Izuku’s pale face in the bathtub. He suppressed it. He wasn’t dead, obviously, otherwise the people exiting wouldn’t have been that calm.
Katsuki ran towards Izuku’s unconscious form, feeling breathless with panic and worry. What happened? It was just a fucking entrance exam. How could he have gotten so hurt?
He bit his lips. Then again, Izuku might have a Quirk, but it wasn’t very useful in battle the last time he checked.
He followed behind, restraining the urge to go up to Izuku and check him. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. What if he made it worse?
They brought Izuku to a medical office and placed him on the bed. Katsuki felt relieved as he spotted Recovery Girl.
She would be able to help Izuku.
Katsuki’s eye twitched as he watched Recovery Girl plant a kiss on Izuku’s forehead. He pushed down the irrational snarl that wanted to leave his lips, inwardly sulking. She was helping Izuku with her Quirk, he told himself.
He moved to Izuku’s bedside the moment Recovery Girl left, looking over his form worriedly.
“Izuku?” he called out.
THE FIRST KISS. *mental screaming*
I know it seems kind of sudden, but Kacchan’s feelings have been stewing for ten months. He’s also been without any kind of contact besides a brief note.
...I just couldn't torture them any longer :")
On another note, I'll be on holiday with my parents before uni starts again, so I might not be posting much for around 10 days.
“Izuku?” he called out.
Izuku’s eyelids fluttered a little, but the rest of him remained motionless.
Katsuki sighed inwardly, the worry in his heart subsiding a little. He wasn’t sure if he was happy that Izuku was unconscious again or not. On one hand, he wouldn’t be able to feel the pain of his healing. On the other hand, seeing him like this surrounded by white walls and the white bed reminded him all too much of his prone form months prior.
They let him bring Izuku back home on the premises that Izuku was his childhood friend.
The UA staff gave them a ride back to his house, bringing them all the way back to his front door. Don’t think he didn’t know that they were making sure he really was Izuku’s friend, even knocking on the door to greet his mother.
He knew what they were doing, and he was partially grateful, as well as really fucking pissed. Did they really think he would just abduct another teenager in broad daylight? At the fucking Hero Academy Entrance Exam no less. Idiots.
Katsuki snorted and entered the house without giving a second glance to the lady behind him, carefully cradling his soon-to-be boyfriend, trudging up the stairs to his room.
He looked down at the green-haired teen that was still in the grips of unconsciousness. Picking up Izuku had been a shock. He was a lot heavier than he had been ten months ago. He looked the part too.
He’d struggled slightly back in the medical room, picking up Izuku, before he got used to the weight. Katsuki refused to allow anyone else to take care of Izuku when he knew he could do it perfectly fine himself. As if he would allow someone else to cop a feel, he thought to himself.
His new muscles didn’t look very pronounced while he had his clothes on, but Katsuki could still tell, considering how much thinner Izuku had been ten months ago. He filled out his uniform now, when instead it had been rather loose before. Katsuki had caught sight of the way the uniform sleeve had stretched during some of Izuku’s movements.
Katsuki blushed, pushing away the thoughts, feeling slightly guilty he was ogling Izuku while he was still unconscious.
He shifted his weight, opening the door. Katsuki toed off the blanket on his bed before placing Izuku down gently onto the mattress.
His arms twinged slightly, not used to carrying that much weight. He looked at Izuku, feeling worry that he was still unconscious and not waking up.
Katsuki sat down on the edge of the bed, pressing down the worry, reassuring himself that Izuku was fine. He was fine, not hurt anymore, and wasn’t in any grave or mortal danger, so he should calm the fuck down and not continue worrying like a fucking plebeian, okay?!
The blonde teen scowled and ruffled his hair furiously. He clearly knew that Izuku was already fine, why the fuck was he still dawdling like this over the fact that Izuku had been hurt slightly? It hadn’t looked that bad, honestly, and Recovery Girl told him that he’d just overworked himself, with just a couple of broken bones that had been fixed already.
Katsuki grit his teeth, feeling the irrational irritation bubble up. Why was he feeling this way?
In the midst of his anger and worry, he felt a slight tug on his shirt. He whipped around, losing his balance in the process. He sat down heavily on the floor, eyes shooting to Izuku’s face.
He felt strangely reassured at the slurred “Kacchan” that emerged from Izuku’s lips. When Izuku’s eyes slipped close again, he felt a brief flare of panic before he realized he was just sleeping.
Katsuki huffed, brushing fingertips down Izuku’s slack face. He snatched his hand away, feeling mortified at his actions.
Well, what the fuck ever. At least there was no one around.
He was suddenly hit hard with the urge to protect this existence slumbering in his bed. His hands itched to keep Izuku safe from the outside world, and any moronic Villians, so he did what any other sane person would have done.
He grabbed the thick winter blanket that he’d tossed aside earlier, feeling somewhat pleased with the weight. He’d complained when the old hag bought it, saying it would keep him warm, when she obviously knew that with his body temperature he could probably go running naked in the snow, and he’d never catch a chill, but now he couldn’t be more pleased.
He only kept it because it was the same color as Izuku’s hair, and she probably knew it. Devious old hag.
He bundled Izuku up, rolling him into the blanket. The green-haired teen didn’t even stir at his actions, deeply asleep.
Katuski got onto the bed, feeling oddly reassured and pleased. He tugged the bundle of green closer to him, pressing against the comforter. Izuku smelled like a mix of mint and rain, cool and refreshing. He nuzzled Izuku’s hair, throwing a hand over the thick bundle.
Having Izuku in his arms again was like a balm to his soul. It washed away the stress and worry that had been haunting him since that day ten months ago. He felt like the world had slowed to a stop, and he didn’t mind at all. It gave him a strange feeling. He wasn’t sure what to call it, but he liked it.
He thought about how he spontaneously had his first kiss with Izuku in front of a whole crowd of people. He thought about how soft the other’s lips were, how much stronger he had become, both physically and mentally. Katsuki’s face burned red. So fucking embarrassing, but at least no one would try to put their hands on Izuku.
He buried his hot cheeks on the soft green, taking solace in Izuku’s presence. As he breathed in Izuku’s natural scent, his eyelids grew heavier. He struggled against them, wanting to continue basking in the feeling, but months of sleepless nights had left him fatigued. His thoughts grew increasingly sluggish.
He’d protect Izuku no matter what.
His breathing evened out.
Hi! Long time no see. Uni has started again, so I'm getting into the swing of things.
If you're interested in more fluff, I wrote a short oneshot for Valentine's (Part 2 of the series).
Burrito!Izuku makes his appearance via Kacchan's overprotective tendencies, haha. Couldn't get this scene out of my head.
Izuku woke up feeling sore and hot. He felt like he was sweltering under the blazing sun on a hot summer day. He also felt like he went a few rounds with All Might and lost horribly. He tried to roll over, but he was stopped by some kind of external force.
His thought processes went through things slowly, disjointed and unconnected in his mind. His brain was still sluggish from excessive sleep. He was slightly puzzled. He had never been the kind of person to oversleep, so what…?
Izuku wriggled a little, trying to make sense of what was happening. He struggled to open his eyes. The teen expected for his vision to focus and give him an idea of what was happening, but he only saw a blurred mass of green.
His brain took this as a cue to wake up. Then, a part of his brain jumped to conclusions and immediately screamed that he’d gone blind. His panic levels spiked, but before he could descend further into panic, another part of his brain rationalized that was impossible. Who’d ever heard of someone going blind and only seeing green?
He craned his neck, trying to see if he could somehow get free of whatever was holding him. What was happening? The last he remembered was saving that girl from the UA Entrance Exams. What could possibly have led up to this?
Izuku froze when he realized he could hear deep, heavy breaths. The entire time, he hadn’t realized there was another person in the room. In fact, the breathing sounded suspiciously close. It was quite loud, even. He frowned, realizing how short-sighted he had been. Had he already grown dependent on his Quirk?
Based on the loudness of the breathing as well as the direction… the person was… behind him?! Wait. The breathing was deep and spaced out. The other person was sleeping!
Izuku’s struggles subtly increased. He was tempted to use his Quirk to get free, but would that be overkill? He wriggled his body in an imitation of an earthworm, then tried some moves he saw a tantrum-throwing toddler pull off. After a moment of struggling, he felt a brief sense of vertigo before he hit the… ground?
He winced a little at the dull pain that spread through his body, his breathing stopping. He hoped that person didn’t wake up from the sounds he was making. The breathing had a little hitch before evening out. Izuku let out a silent sigh of relief.
Whatever was binding him felt looser now.
What was happening??
Izuku felt the faint stirrings of something. He felt like he was on the cusp of reaching a great revelation. He was almost there, but not quite yet.
The green-haired teen rolled linearly in the direction away from the breathing, trying to put as much distance between the two of them as possible.
To his great delight, whatever was binding him seemed like it was unravelling himself. Yessss, he hissed in the confines of his mind.
His vision returned to him. Izuku blinked his eyes rapidly as they watered, unused to the bright light.
This room looked familiar. Where had he…?
This was Kacchan’s room, wasn’t it?
Izuku wriggled free from the last of his bindings. He sat up and looked at what was trapping him. It was a fluffy green comforter. The shade sort of reminded him of his hair.
Izuku was baffled. What was going on??
He glanced in the direction he woke up.
On the same bed that he’d seen even in his dreams for years and years, Kacchan lay, his features held in sleep. His blonde hair looked like spun silk. He looked peaceful, like he seldom was in awakening.
Izuku traced Kacchan’s features, drinking in every detail. He frowned when he noticed the dark purple under Kacchan’s eyes. That hadn’t been there ten months ago. What had happened in the time he was away?
Was someone making trouble for Kacchan? Did some of their schoolmates shift their bullying to Kacchan?
He felt the slow-stirrings of rage build up within him, just as worry and concern bubbled up. What had Kacchan gone through in the time he was gone?
Did someone dare?
Something rang false in his mind about this.
Izuku ran through things in his head. Kacchan wasn’t the type to allow himself to be bullied. He also wasn’t the type to lose sleep over it even if it did happen. He would curb stomp them into the ground for even entertaining the thought that they could get one over him.
So, what…? Izuku’s brows furrowed. Across the room, Kacchan’s features reflected his.
Kacchan’s hand twitched in the empty space, seemingly looking for something. Izuku crawled nearer to him, stopping near the bedframe.
Izuku smiled, watching Kacchan’s sleeping face. He’d missed him during these ten months. He’d thought of him every time his training got hard, every time he faced a difficulty. He’d thought of Kacchan before he fell asleep and saw him in his dreams.
Not being able to feel Kacchan’s feelings was something that had deeply disturbed him. It felt like part of his Soul was missing. It was almost like a person who had fully functioning limbs suddenly finding himself missing one. It was unbalancing. Disconcerting.
They say, ignorance is bliss, and Izuku had to concur.
He had been dangerously dependent on being able to feel Kacchan’s feelings. In the absence of all feelings, even having the rage, disgust and contempt that Kacchan had for him was better than this void of feelings.
Of course, he could now feel other people’s feelings, but it felt unnatural. Strange. He could always tell the difference. He would never be able to mistake their feelings for being one of Kacchan’s.
He placed his hand within Kacchan’s, and the blonde teen settled down. Kacchan’s fingers curled lightly around his own, his features smoothening out.
Izuku felt a guilty thrill. The fact that he, Izuku, Useless Deku, could somehow bring even a little bit of peace to Kacchan made him deliriously happy.
The green-haired teen rested his cheek on his arm, looking at Kacchan in the throes of sleep. He could feel light, fleeting emotions from Kacchan. They were muted, but they stood out like a beacon to him.
He hoped Kacchan was having a happy dream. He didn’t look like he had much sleep recently. Izuku would have to help him some way.
Izuku’s lips curled into a guilty smile.
He’d been sick since he was three, and he’d only gotten worse from that point on.
Addiction, obsession. Call it what you will, but Izuku had never once regretted anything.
He thought about the kiss they shared in front of so many people. He went pink in shyness. He thought about the feelings Kacchan experienced in that brief duration. Izuku felt tears well up.
“You’re so cruel, Kacchan,” he whispered, burying his tears on his arm. He squeezed Kacchan’s fingers lightly before letting them go back to the loose state they were in before.
There was no way Kacchan had changed so suddenly in the ten months he’d been gone. It was some sort of shock he’d received that caused him to react that way.
Izuku squeezed his eyes shut, more tears leaking out unintentionally.
He was sick, and he loved it.
He loved it and hated it.
He breathed, and he ached.
A brief taste of heaven, before it would all be ripped away.
How much crueller could he be?
He craved Kacchan’s love, but he would never have it.
Okay. Frankly, Izuku and Katsuki write themselves. I'm just lending them a hand here, and apparently Izuku suddenly decided to go back down the angst route.
Don't kill me?
Katsuki awoke slowly. He groaned and rolled over. He opened his eyes, then immediately shut it due to the bright light. His thought processes were all muddled. This was quite a rare experience. Months of sleepless nights had left its toll on him. He could tell that his reflexes were slowing down, but what could he do?
Sleeping pills? Haha, don’t fuck with him. What kind of Hero would take fucking sleeping pills? It wasn’t just dangerous, that was practically flirting with death, understand? Taking some sort of fucked up sleeping pills that could hold him deep in slumber without chance of waking up? Like he would ever be that desperate. He would just tough it out. How fucking bad could it be? It’s not like it can get any worse, anyhow.
His hand reached out for something, his mind didn’t quite process what. He knew he was looking for something, but he couldn’t quite remember what he was looking for. All he knew was that it was supposed to be right here, and it wasn’t.
Where was it?
Katsuki’s hand thumped on the mattress. He furrowed his brows. There was nothing there. What was he looking for again?
The blonde teen burrowed his face into the pillow, trying to block out the bright light. His mind slowly trying to recall what he was looking for, akin to rusty old gears turning.
Then, it hit him like a Quirk from the blue.
His eyes shot open. Katsuki looked around frantically. He was right here before he slept, so how could he have disappeared in such a short amount of time?
Before his panic could build much further, his eyes landed on a sleeping form.
Izuku was leaning on the mattress, seated on the floor. All that could be seen of him was his mass of dark green curls, his face buried in his arms. He was breathing gently, and so softly that Katsuki couldn’t hear a sound.
Katsuki inwardly let out a sigh of relief.
He looked at his childhood friend, who had evidently somehow gotten out of his secure wrappings, as well as from his arms without waking him, or even stirring him. The green blanket was strangely spread out on the floor, and Katsuki couldn’t quite put his finger on why it was registering as strange to him.
He shoved the errant thought to the back of his mind. It was probably nothing. He scowled, pushing down the urge to wrap the mossy-haired teen up in the blanket again. He refused to be embarrassed about the way he acted.
Izuku evidently needs to be protected, alright? Just look at the goddamn mess he’d gotten himself into on the first day he comes back. Fucking broken bones. Not cracked, or even fractured. Fucking broken bones, for fucks sake. It was the first day! The first day.
Just what was Izuku trying to do to him? He felt like he was about to have a heart attack thinking about the months he’d been away.
The blonde teen stared at the slumbering teen on the edge of his bed, trying to ascertain if he still had any lingering injuries. He shouldn’t, since he’d gotten treated by recovery girl, but who knew? Sometimes Quirks didn’t work as they were supposed to.
He couldn’t spot any injuries as far as the surface was concerned, but he wouldn’t be able to confirm that Izuku was completely fine until he woke up. There was a reason why he’d wrapped him up in that blanket, after all.
The longer he stared at Izuku’s prone form, the more the guilt felt like waves crashing on the beach. It felt like the tide was coming in, bringing the guilt along the shores of the beach, filling up his entire being. Izuku had gone for it recklessly in his UA entrance exam. Was this his fault? Was this a result of his earlier actions? Did Izuku still have such little regard for his life that he would rather throw it away in a fucking entrance exam?
He’d never been able to clarify things further with Izuku before he left the hospital so abruptly. He hadn’t been able to clearly tell Izuku that he didn’t hate him. During these last ten months, he’d been sleepless due to guilt, worry and concern.
It felt like a hand was clenching itself hard around his heart. The thought that Izuku might have gone the past ten months thinking that he still hated him, that he might have acted differently because of the spur of the moment, left him feeling cold and helpless.
Katsuki bit his lips, then bit his tongue. He hadn’t cried in ten months, and he wasn’t going to cry now dammit. He felt a stab of pain, and tasted metal.
The blonde winced slightly, prodding the roof with this tongue to see how bad it was. It wasn’t that painful, so it couldn’t be that bad.
Then, the universe being the huge jackass it was, would choose for this moment to be the one where Izuku started waking up, at the exact the moment his guilt was at the highest point. It was probably because of his fluctuating but intense emotions, if what Izuku had implied in his letter about his Quirk was true. Distance was certainly playing a part at this moment.
Katsuki hastily tried to shove the heavy feelings of guilt back down the black abyss of his mind. He didn’t need Izuku knowing just how much guilt he felt about his past actions. He would’ve given anything to go back in time to slap some sense into his past self to prevent this from ever happening.
Bleary emerald eyes met burning red.
The two teens stared at each other, neither talking, both not quite sure what to say.
Then, of course, Izuku just had to break into tears.
Something short-circuited in Katsuki’s brain at seeing Izuku’s tears. The panic came back in full force.
The silently panicking blonde stared at Izuku’s face, suddenly at a loss of what to do. He reached out to Izuku with both hands, but then stopped. He didn’t know if his actions would be welcomed, so his hands just hovered uselessly. He didn’t know where to put them, or if he even had a right to do so.
“K-Kac-cchan,” Izuku hiccupped out, his voice thick with tears.
Katsuki silently said fuck it in his mind, and enclosed his arms around Izuku, pulling him close with great effort.
He pressed Izuku’s face to the crook of his neck, letting him cry everything out. Izuku’s tears immediately wet his shirt, making little hiccups as he tried to hold back the waterworks.
Katsuki felt another squeeze on his heart, feeling helpless and so fucking guilty.
Izuku pressed his head harder into his neck, almost like he was trying to burrow as close as he possibly could, and Katsuki’s heart involuntarily jumped. It felt like his heart was trying to make its way out of his chest. The blood was rushing in his ears. His heartbeat was thundering.
The blonde teen squeezed the other in a hug, unconsciously mimicking the squeezing of his heart.
His heart was filled with sweet, honeyed affection, along with the bitter taste of guilt, making him feel bittersweet. The guilt never left, never strayed. He was sure that it would be a lifelong companion, just as he hoped his newly budding love would be.
He damn well knew he deserved none of this, but he was so fucking selfish, and if Izuku said that his Quirk wouldn’t allow him to be with anyone else, then Katsuki was going to take as much advantage for as long as he could.
Izuku had tried to end his life prematurely, and Katsuki would have none of that from now on. The blonde felt a stab of pain at the mere thought. He’d had plenty of sleepless nights thinking back about that day. He’d fucking make sure this silly idiot would be kept safe, be it from himself or anyone else.
He’d devote his heart and soul to Izuku, and no one else, this he swore.
Yessss Kacchan, FEELINGS.
Also, I have a thing for arrogant people getting dominated in my fanfictions, so future smut will most likely be a Seme!Izuku and Uke!Kacchan. Just to let you know.
When Izuku’s tears started to die down, Katsuki could secretly breath the faintest sighs of relief. The green-haired teen’s crying had left him feeling… flustered? People cried in his presence (who do you think he was?) but usually he was the one who provoked it. This time, he hadn’t done anything! Well…as far as he could tell, anyway.
Izuku tried hard to hold in his sniffles, already feeling somewhat embarrassed. He hadn’t meant to break out into tears so suddenly, but the feeling of Kacchan’s intense guilt and panic hadn’t helped him any.
“Listen up,” Katsuki said demandingly, immediately recapturing Izuku’s wandering attention. He pressed his head onto Izuku’s fluffy hair.
Izuku’s heart started thumping hard, his stomach doing little somersaults without his permission. It felt like his heart had made its way into his throat. He couldn’t get any words out. Kacchan felt unnaturally still, both emotionally and physically. What was he going to say? Did he get sick of Izuku already? Did he regret everything that happened at UA?? He must have, oh god. Sure, he’d acted a little presumptuously back then, but – but. He’d already realized what a mistake he’d made? Did he just wish Izuku had died back then?
The deeply hidden emotions in Izuku shook, rushing to the forefront of his thoughts. Every little insignificant insecurity, every trifling negative emotion gushed out from the hidden little box he’d locked them away in. He didn’t think he could go through all that again. He didn’t think he was strong enough – oh god. He –
The panicking teen had his whirling thoughts screeched to a halt as he felt a warmth on his lips. What…? Oh. Oh. Kacchan. Kacchan was kissing him. Izuku. Not anyone else, but him. Izuku melted.
Izuku had never heard the term ‘idiot’ used so affectionately from Kacchan. He felt like a mixture of exasperation and fondness. It felt surprisingly good.
The green-haired teen sucked in a breath inadvertently at the thought, his lips breaking from Kacchan’s. The oxygen that rushed into his lungs made him feel light-headed. He gasped, the unconscious action of breathing finally occurring to his brain. Izuku’s chest heaved at as he took in the oxygen that he’d been denying his lungs unconsciously.
Katsuki snorted, burying his head into the crook of Izuku’s neck. He felt both guilty and the slightest bits of gratification that he could affect the other teen that much. He’d already known, considering Izuku’s letter, but it was nice that he could experience it first-hand.
“Don’t fucking do that anymore, understand?”
Izuku’s heart dropped to his stomach. Kacchan felt like a mix of anger and concern. Did Kacchan kiss him just to ask him not to kiss him anymore? Did he just kiss him as the fastest way of getting him to breathe? Did he not want to do that at all? Was he just taking his feelings into account and –
Kacchan frowned at the silence that greeted him. Why wasn’t Izuku responding? He heard the other teen’s breathing falter again. The blonde shot up in alarm, not sure what had set the other off this time.
“Hey,” he said forcefully. Katsuki grabbed Izuku’s hand and squeezed it. “Breathe, okay?”
When he saw Izuku nod and resume breathing, he let his concern simmer down slightly.
“What was it that I said that made you stop breathing?”
Izuku bit his tongue, hesitantly asking, “Kacchan, did you kiss me just so that I would breathe again?”
The “yes” that he heard caused his heart to shatter into a million fragile pieces. He pressed his hand to his heart, not at all welcoming to the familiar feeling. Izuku had delusionally let himself think that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have to feel this way anymore, but evidently it wasn’t going to happen.
He took a deep breath to steady himself, trying to ignore the crushing emotions.
“Did you hear me? You aren’t allowed to recklessly throw yourself into dangerous situations anymore, understand?”
Katsuki furrowed his brows. Izuku hadn’t replied to his earlier statement, so he had to reinforce it.
Izuku felt his brain short-circuit for the third time for the day. What. “Wait, so... You weren’t talking about kissing me? You mean you’re just concerned about me in danger? Not that you didn’t want to kiss me anymore?”
“What?” said Katsuki, befuddled how Izuku’s thought process went in that direction. “No, idiot. We’re obviously going to be kissing a lot. So, you better stop running headfirst into danger, got it? You obviously have these masochistic tendencies or something. You practically charging full speed into danger and –”
Izuku started blanking out, ignoring how hypocritical Kacchan was for the time being. He felt his shattered heart start to tentatively glue itself back together piece by piece.
“So, you love me?” Izuku blurted out, cutting Kacchan off.
The explosion of embarrassment and shyness of Kacchan’s feelings was enough answer for Izuku. He watched the blonde teen’s face immediately start turning red, a strange sense of disbelief washing over him.
“Shut up!” muttered Katsuki, feeling embarrassed from Izuku’s blatant staring. He used his free hand to block the other’s sight, not able to take the embarrassment much longer.
“Argh.” Katsuki wanted to ruffle his hair, but he didn’t want to let go of Izuku’s hand, and he also didn’t want him to keep looking at his flushed face. It was already bad enough that he could feel his emotions but letting Izuku look directly at his red face was just beyond his coping capacity.
“I’m only going to say it once, okay! I don’t know if this is love, but. I –” Katsuki felt his face flush further. Why was it so goddamn hard to get three little words out?
Dammit, he could do it. He would do it. He was Bakugou fucking Katsuki.
Katsuki took a deep breath, steadying his emotions.
“I – I l-like you.” Katsuki paused, feeling the burning embarrassment kick up another notch. He’d never felt so embarrassed in his life.
“I fucking like you, okay! Maybe it’s not love yet, but it’s something right? I’m sure I’ll be able to get to love eventu-”
Katsuki was cut off by Izuku squeezing the breath out of him with a single arm. How was that even possible, he vaguely wondered, his heartbeat beating dangerously fast. He still felt the slight rush of embarrassment, but he probably had it pretty good.
Who else would be able confess when they already knew the other person was in love with them?
“I love you, Katsuki.” Izuku’s voice was low and smooth. Katsuki could feel the pure sincerity and adoration in the green-haired teen’s voice.
The embarrassment that had barely died down immediately returned with a vengeance. His cheeks felt like they were glowing with heat. He could probably heat the entire room in winter. He squirmed. The way Izuku said his name gave him some funny feelings. He didn’t know how to describe them.
He felt like a mix of embarrassment and…arousal? Katsuki dismissed the thought.
“Right. So.” Katsuki buried his face in the crook of Izuku’s neck again, toppling the two of them down onto the bed.
He removed his hand from Izuku’s eyes, pressing his weight onto half of Izuku’s form and letting his arm curl around the other teen’s form.
Katsuki felt Izuku’s muscled arm wrap around his waist. He felt steadier. More anchored. It was worth going through that embarrassment if it could reassure the both of them. He hadn’t liked leaving for the UA Entrance Exam before making things clear with Izuku, but he hadn’t had a choice.
Both Izuku and Katsuki settled down on the bed, curling into each other, taking refuge in each other’s presence.
As long as they had each other, everything would be alright.
I am aliveeeeee!
Sorry I haven't updated for awhile. Uni life.
Leave a comment if you liked it! :)
Kacchan had been anxiously checking the mailbox every day, not matter how firmly or how often he denied it. Izuku watched the blonde teen with twinkling eyes as he headed out for the nth time that day to check the mailbox, even if they hadn’t heard the mailman stop by. He’d been doing this every hour, his anxiety shooting up with each increasing day.
Izuku lowered his head as he watched Kacchan leave the room, lightly squeezing the pen he’d been holding, once again starting to write in his notebook.
A week had passed since the UA Entrance Exams, and Izuku was looking forward to the letter that would be coming. Quite frankly, he didn’t think there was much to be worried about, considering how Kacchan was a hidden perfectionist, but he wouldn’t be telling him that.
He actually quite enjoyed watching Kacchan being fidgety in the confines of his house. And if Kacchan happened to subconsciously invade his personal space when he was feeling particularly fidgety, well, Izuku wouldn’t be saying anything to anyone, especially since those were some of the rarer times where Kacchan wasn’t feeling any pangs of guilt.
Was it weird that he felt Kacchan’s cuteness was just out of this world? He was sure hardly anyone else would agree with him, but he was fine with that. All the more for him.
Izuku didn’t want Kacchan constantly feeling guilt over him. It was his decision, and his decisions were made by him, not by anyone else. The consequences and results lay entirely on his shoulders, and he wouldn’t have anyone else, especially Kacchan, carrying guilt over it.
The green-haired teen felt like his thoughts were jumbled pieces of an incomplete puzzle, but he kept everything inside. He knew he couldn’t rush these things. He was hit by pangs of terror every day. The thought that Kacchan would suddenly wake up one day and realize that this wasn’t the life he envisioned for himself.
Eventually, Kacchan would realize that before his attempted suicide, Izuku might have toted it as a lack of love, but in truth it was because he was entirely because he had been undeniably and utterly weak. Kacchan detested weakness, both in himself and everyone else.
Kacchan wasn’t only tough on others, but also to himself. Izuku had seen the trainings that Kacchan put himself through, school or not. There wasn’t a day that went by he missed training.
Izuku knew Kacchan had seen Izuku’s Quirkless state as a sign of weakness. In a world full of Quirks, the people without were practically helpless in the face of them. Kacchan just couldn’t accept the fact that one of his friends was so helpless, so useless, and it had disgusted him.
The door slammed hard against the wall from Katsuki’s direct kick.
“Izuku!” Katsuki yelled out, glee coating his voice. He waved around two thick envelopes in the air. “It’s here!”
Izuku hurriedly closed the notebook he had been writing in, realizing that he’d been writing down his feelings about his distress. Hopefully, Kacchan didn’t realize. He placed the notebook on the table, waiting for Kacchan to walk towards him.
Izuku was inwardly baffled that the mail was here, considering they hadn’t heard any noise. The mossy-haired teen inwardly evaluated that the postman must have some sort of Quirk that helped him in his everyday job.
Katsuki dropped into the chair and crowded in close to Izuku, casually grabbing his hand, eyes burning with excitement.
The blonde teen ripped open the letter in his haste, the small metallic disc hitting the table. Both of them were startled as the projection appeared.
“This is a projection!” came the booming voice of All Might. Katsuki twitched subtly, not expecting the sudden explosion of sound.
Izuku felt a little helpless. He didn’t realize that he’d gotten used to being constantly surprised during the ten months he’d been gone. It seemed like his training was more widespread than he thought.
Katsuki felt slightly bewildered. He had expected a lot of things, but the one person he hadn’t expected to be briefing them was All Might. He looked down at the envelope to confirm that it was from UA before concentrating on the Number One Hero again.
“Midoriya, my boy! It’s been some time. There is much to deliberate on!” All Might’s signature grin filled the projection screen. “I am here for ONE reason, and one reason only! I am here to teach at UA!”
Katsuki and Izuku both stared at the Number One Hero with wide eyes. Being able to be around All Might all the time would be a dream come true. There would be so much to learn from just his experiences alone. It felt like the standards at UA had shot through the roof, though logically they knew it wasn’t true, that didn’t stop them from feeling it. They were even more excited than before the letter came.
“What? What did you say?! Get to the point?! Whatever I want to say to him…can be said later?! Ah, fine…”
All Might cleared his throat. “Ahem! Young Midoriya, young Bakugou. Both of you have passed the written exams with high grades! Your practical, on the other hand… Young Bakugou has passed with a grand total of… 77 points! Taking down one and two pointers, the faux villains were all itching to capture you! In the second half when the other candidates were slowing down, you started speeding up even more!”
The awe-inspiring figure of All Might paused slightly.
“Young Midoriya, with a total of 20 villain points, this would not be enough for you to get into Class A…”
Izuku suddenly felt Kacchan’s elation from passing turn into dread and concern, his hand squeezing down hard on his for comfort. He felt emotional that Kacchan would care this much about him. It felt like a dream. If this really was a dream, he hoped he never woke up.
“But! That’s not the end of the story! Look here!” All Might pointed at the screen behind him. A petite brunette appeared on the screen behind him.
“Excuse me! I’d like to give some of my points to the teen who saved me earlier in the test! He saved my life!”
“You see?” boomed All Might, “In this exam, we weren’t just watching for villain-based points! We, of UA, produce Heroes! And Heroes who reject doing the right thing isn’t a Hero at all! Do you think we do all of this just to look good in front of the camera? You can think what you want! As a Hero, we risk our lives and put the money where your mouth is! Rescue points were also a factor! 60 points for Midoriya Izuku! And 45 points for Uraraka Ochako!”
All Might took a deep breath, his smile seemingly growing to impossible brightness.
“Welcome to the Hero Academy.”
Katsuki suddenly crushed Izuku in a tight hug. He was surprised to find that he had no jealousy or any negative emotions that Izuku had beat him. His entire being felt like a great weight had been lifted off him. He felt as light as a feather. He was just that happy.
“We did it, Kacchan!”
Katsuki didn’t respond to him, just squeezing his boyfriend tighter. He was so glad he wouldn’t be going in alone. Suddenly, something occurred to him. He felt like he’d been struck like a Quirk out of the blue.
“You’ve met All Might before?”
Izuku felt his stomach drop.
Yes! You aren't hallucinating! It's another chapter!
Yay! Thank you for all the support I've been getting so far for the story!
Please leave a comment if you like it :)
Izuku bit his bottom lip, his mind running miles per second, thinking about what he should say, before deciding. “Yes, I have. Other than that, I can’t tell you yet. It isn’t my secret to divulge, but I’ll ask All Might if I can tell you.”
Katsuki frowned a little before his expression loosened up. At least Izuku wasn’t hiding anything from him. He nodded in agreement.
The green-haired teen inwardly cheered, knowing that his decision not to keep it a secret from Kacchan was the right thing to do. He didn’t want to bring lies into their slowly mending relationship. That magazine said that relationships were built on communication and trust, so Izuku was going to try that. Hopefully it would work.
Izuku could feel the trust that was radiating off Kacchan like a lighthouse in the dark and he wasn’t going to mess that up. He felt like he could float off the surface of the earth with how happy he was feeling. Kacchan trusted him.
He couldn’t help the light laugh that escaped from his lips. He spontaneously gave Kacchan a kiss before he could think too much about it, feeling like a bunch of clouds had replaced whatever braincells he had.
The blonde teen looked delightfully startled at the sudden show of affection. Izuku couldn’t stop the grin at how cute Kacchan looked, similar to a startled kitten. Kacchan flicked his forehead, wearing a scowl that looked more like a pout to him. He emitted a sulky air mixed with embarrassment.
Katsuki let out a startled yelp as Izuku effortlessly picked him up from the chair he’d been sitting on moments earlier, not having any time to protest being carried in bridal style before he was dropped onto his bed with a little bounce facedown.
The blonde stayed still, completely blindsided and still uncomprehending of what just happened.
Izuku waited until Kacchan craned his head back to look at him before pressing a kiss to his cheek. Then, he casually straddled the blonde teen, pressing powerful hands to the blonde’s back, keeping him down and from bucking him off.
The green-haired teen bent down till his mouth was flush with Kacchan’s ear.
“Let me take care of you,” Izuku breathed.
Katsuki was immediately sent back into flustered territory by the turn of events. It felt like he was doing math problems and he was so sure of the answers, but in the end, they were something completely different and he was just baffled like what was even happening right now??
Izuku leaned back and watched as Kacchan’s ears slowly started changing colors. It started off with a slight tinge of pink before deepening to red very quickly. He kind of wanted to see the blush on Kacchan’s face, but he let it go for now. He wanted to try pushing boundaries, but not too hard.
“Toshinori-san!” Izuku called with a grin, eyeing his mentor. He took in how the other looked like he had a good night of sleep, looking slightly better than he did at other times. He had a bit more color in his cheeks as compared to before, although he was still just as skeletal, but as he seemed to be getting slightly better, Izuku let it slide.
Toshinori and Izuku stood in the beach they had been visiting everyday for the past ten months. The beach was clean of any debris and old junk.
“Izuku, my boy! Congrats on passing!” Toshinori rubbed his protégé’s hair, silently conveying his pride and affection.
“I haven’t told the school about our relationship. You seem like you’d silently worry about whether it was favouritism.”
The green-haired teen silently basked in how Toshinori felt like a mix of affection and exasperation.
Toshinori had come a long way mentally in these ten months as he was helping Izuku with his training. No longer was he depressed every time he was alone. It still came in occasionally, but he was able to steer himself back onto happier thoughts easier nowadays. He was thankful to the pale boy that had knocked on his door ten months earlier.
The changes had happened slowly, as he was reminded of how he acted when he was younger, desperately doing his best during training as he got ready for One For All.
Toshinori explained to Izuku about how he went through his training in the earlier days, giving him examples about how he went about mastering it.
“You should go about it with caution. Just like how a person who’s suddenly grown a tail cannot control it straight away. Your body still needs time to get used to having One For All. The more you temper your body, the better you can control your power. Just like how a cup can only contain a certain amount of liquid, any more and it will overflow. The bigger your cup gets, the more it can hold.”
Toshinori paused his explanations, gauging Izuku’s reaction.
Izuku had a strange look on his face.
Without saying anything, Izuku bent down and picked up two spray paint cans. He exerted around 1 percent of One For All and crushed the two cans in his hand with a loud crunch.
Both Izuku and Toshinori stared at the flattened cans in his hand, uncomprehending.
“I…is that not supposed to happen?”
Toshinori’s eyes moved from the cans to his protégé, shocked.
“I just… I had a feeling, you know?” Izuku stuttered out, not quite sure how to explain it. The teen floundered a little, scrambling for words to describe how it felt. “It’s just this like this pool of something inside that I can reach out for, and it goes through this little tube and I just –” Izuku waved his hands about, trying to articulate something he couldn’t put into words.
“Izuku.” Toshinori put his hand on Izuku’s shoulder. “That isn’t normal,” he said, before realizing his words could be taken the wrong way by the green-haired teen in front of him.
“It’s not normal, but you seem to have a grasp on how much your body can currently take. That’s good. Very good. You must be careful of overloading your body. Too much, and your bones will snap. Your muscles will tear, and your skin will rupture.”
Izuku gawked at his mentor. “You could have told me that earlier?!”
Toshinori looked at him sheepishly. “Well…there just wasn’t enough time. But everything worked out all right. Or shall I say… All Might!”
Izuku groaned inwardly at the pun, lightly facepalming, but didn’t say anything.
“Perhaps this has something to do with your own Quirk.”
The two of them paused to take in this statement, reflecting on the past ten months of discovery.
Toshinori suddenly felt a wave of enthusiasm and hope, spontaneously transforming into All Might and striking a dramatic pose.
“Yes! The torch burns bright!”
The two heard the distant screams of them recognizing All Might’s form, causing them to set off down the beach at a fast pace.
All Might thought to himself about how he had fulfilled his duty and that now his flame would wither and die.
Izuku felt the changes emotionally in his mentor, feeling the complicated mix his self-deprecation, hopelessness, joy and sadness, glaring at the back of All Might’s yellow blonde hair.
All Might could almost feel the weight of Izuku’s glare physically and tried valiantly to suppress his negative feelings.
He subtly sped up in his running, feeling the weight of Izuku’s glare increase even more.
“I know what you’re trying to do! We have to talk about your feelings!”
All Might shuddered.
Okay, so. I re-read the part where All Might tells Izuku he has to take in his DNA and my mind just went straight into the gutter. *Coughs*
Poor Izuku taking his love advice from teen magazines. What could possibly go wrong, am I right?
Happy birthday Katsuki!!
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The sounds of the bed creaking increased as more weight was pressed on it. What seemed to be sounds of little involuntary gasps and low moans filled the quiet space of the room, leaking into the hallway.
Mitsuki was standing in the corridor, her face contorted in stunned disbelief. A little voice inside her was screaming that her babies were only 14 years old. They shouldn’t even be in puberty yet, right…? She knew that nowadays boys seemed to be going through puberty early but look at her volatile little monkey of a son.
She had been so sure she would have some sort of warning signs for the impending crisis, and yet look at her now. Here she was, standing outside his room like a statue as that angry little cat her son was prone to being did some unspeakable things to Izuku. God, should she barge in to save Izuku’s chastity? Another part of her said she should just let their relationship run its course.
Dammit, it only she didn’t have this accursedly sharper hearing than regular people. God knows it should have become worse in the 14 years her son had existed. There was hardly a day that went by without his loud shouts. She could have been totally oblivious to what was happening, but no. She could only blame her superior genes from her parents. Why did they give her such good genes in terms of hearing? Now that she knew what was happening in that room, she couldn’t just walk away and pretend nothing happened.
She stood outside Katsuki’s room, not sure if she should charge into the room to put a stop to this or not. Things seem to have gotten rather intense, considering she’s only been standing here for the past ten minutes, but should she be enabling this while she’s still in the house? What’s the right thing to do?
For fucks sake they didn’t even have any decency to make sure she wasn’t home before getting started.
The concerned part of her warred with the gleeful one, so in the end she could only stand in front of the door as she tried to decide what to do. Should she go in or not? On one hand, Izuku’s chastity, on the other, being able to keep Izuku in her family forever. What to do, what to do?
Mitsuki pressed her ear to the door, trying to see if she could hear anything else other than the little sounds Izuku was making. She squinted her eyes in concentration, trying to filter out the filthy sounds that were coming out of the room.
Why the fuck wasn’t her son making any sounds? Considering his personality, she had been rather certain he would be cursing out involuntarily or otherwise.
She heard a gasp louder than the rest of the little sounds that had been coming out.
“Ah! Izuku. Harder. Ngh, harder. Ah! Yes!” What followed was the increase of the little whines and gasps.
She heard Izuku’s low laugh. “Kacchan you’re begging so prettily for me.”
Mitsuki’s mouth felt open slightly in shock. Okay. So. It was her son losing his chastity instead of Izuku. The thought made a round in her brain, before making a few more rounds. It still hadn’t quite sunk in yet. Her son. Who went around exploding at practically every little prod or nudge.
Her son which had the same volatility of a landmine.
Her thoughts stalled to a stop again.
Then, all of a sudden it felt like her son’s Quirk had exploded in her mind.
Woah Katsuki’s on the bottom! She screamed inwardly, feeling a weird mix of glee and mortification.
Mitsuki pressed her ear harder on the door, trying to decipher more sounds. This was a bit too close to voyeurism for her comfort, but she just couldn’t put her curiosity down, dammit. She just had to know.
As immersed as she was, she didn’t realize that her weight on the door had caused the door to creak open, smoothly depositing her onto the floor of her son’s room.
Her son’s moans immediately screeched to a halt.
She threw up her hands to block her innocent eyes.
“Are you decent?!”
“What the fuck, you old hag?!”
She hastily stood up while blocking her eyes and tried to exit the room, only to bang into the doorframe. “Ow!” She was not going to let her hands stop blocking her vision before she could hastily retreat.
A hand steadied her.
“Bakugou-san, are you alright?”
“Yes! I’m fine. Izuku-kun, didn’t I tell you to stop calling me Bakugou-san? Considering you’re fucking my son, you’re practically another son to me, so you better drop the formalities, got it?!”
She was greeted with a pregnant silence.
Mitsuki suddenly felt the weight of a soft object smack into her head, causing her to grab it with both hands out of reflex, and much to her horror, caused her hands to stop blocking her vision. She wanted to close them, but it was too late. They were already within her line of sight.
“What the fuck, mom! We weren’t fucking!”
“It’s true, Mitsuki-san. I was just giving Kacchan a massage.”
She took in how the two of them still had their clothes on, though her son seemed rather ruffled. She looked at him in suspended disbelief.
“You still look like you just went through a very vigorous round of making out or groping.”
Mitsuki watched with interest as her son’s face went from its usual tone to bright red in an instant.
He made several aborted attempts at speaking.
“Well, we didn’t, alright?!” he managed to stutter out at last.
She grudgingly nodded, since Izuku’s clothes looked as impeccable as they usually did.
Izuku seemed to be fighting down a grin while Katsuki looked like he wanted to dig a hole and bury himself in it or set of a few rounds of explosions.
She heaved a sigh of relief and walked out the door. She made to close the door, but not before leaving a few words of advice.
“Well…alright. But if you do, make sure you use protection. And plenty of lube, okay? You don’t want to accidentally get hurt, after all.”
She casually closed the door, just in time to hear the muffled thump of a pillow hitting the door.
“DIE!” she heard.
Her son was so predictable.
Haha, I couldn't resist.
I actually really like writing Mitsuki's POV. Our poor Izuku and Kacchan will definitely be getting teased more later on by her.
As always, thank you for the support. Please leave a comment if you liked it :)
Katsuki scowled when he didn’t receive a response after knocking on Izuku’s door. He must have gone ahead to school already. He knew Izuku was the sort to make sure he was punctual. It was one of his subtle little obsessions. He hated being late. If he had to describe it, it could be said that he hated being late almost as much as Katsuki hated being around idiots. Katsuki didn’t understand. Izuku didn’t even care if other people were late, just that he himself wasn’t late. Wasn’t that weird as fuck?
He didn’t quite know why he was feeling so irritable. Sure, they hadn’t made any plans, but he thought they had an unspoken arrangement between them. Who the fuck just left for school without picking up their boyfriend?! He didn’t have to specify, did he?
He sulked, not quite sure what to do with these fucking feelings. Should he just get over it or does he have to shove them into the abyss of nowhere? Damn Izuku for making him feel things.
Katsuki furrowed his brows, contemplating what he should do as he walked towards the school. He kicked a random can lying on the street with sudden viciousness that surprised even himself. He was inwardly baffled at what he was doing. Why was he so pissed? It’s not like anything major happened, so what was he doing?
The blonde teen ground his teeth at the feelings of annoyance, anger and something else that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He hadn’t felt this way for a while. He didn’t miss it. He thought that maybe he’d left this part of him behind after – Katsuki stopped his thoughts there, not willing to go down that memory lane when the day was just starting.
Today was supposed to be a happy day, dammit. It should be one of the happiest days in his life, right? He was finally going to get proper training on how to be a Hero. He shouldn’t be wallowing around in his anger. He should be filled with happiness as Izuku was by his side, walking to their glittering future –
Katsuki exploded when he saw the next can. He kicked it high into the sky, unintentionally shouting, “DIE!” as his rage spiked exponentially. What was he doing?? Katsuki seriously didn’t understand himself sometimes.
This was just one of those times. He would get over it. Fuck knows he’d done the same thing countless times. Maybe he’d never know what set him off, but whatever. Maybe it was due to hormones or something.
That teen article Izuku left out said something about hormones causing an increase of moodiness and aggression. That’s probably what it was. Katsuki furrowed his brows again. Wait. So, was he undergoing puberty even when he was six? That’s when all his aggression and anger started manifesting for larger periods of time.
Katsuki allowed himself to hold his forehead for a moment. Does this mean he’s going to continue going through this until puberty ends?? That was still a year away. Fuck. He refused to give in and hold his forehead again. The blonde shoved both hands into his pockets, restraining himself.
Oh, fuck. What if he was one of those people who ended puberty late? But then, if he entered puberty early, does that mean he’s going to end early? Or was he just going to defy all expectations and end late as well?
Does this mean he’s just going to continue being an angry person until all his hormones get with the fucking program and leave him alone?
Katsuki exploded in rage the moment the next can entered his peripheral vision. Who the fuck was leaving these damn cans around?! The trash can is LITERALLY RIGHT FUCKING THERE. He crushed it into the ground with startling vindictiveness, using his Quirk so that it exploded into tiny little burning metal fragments.
He felt marginally better. He would pound whatever fucker was leaving these fucking cans around. Not only was it unhygienic and disgusting, it made him angry as fuck for some reason.
The blonde continued onwards to school, grinding his teeth at the various cans lying along the road or footpath. What the actual fuck was wrong with people nowadays. Did he just not notice the fucking cans in the past or was it just occurring recently?
Did he just mentally filter out these cans or were public morals just degrading by the day? What the fuck were the Heroes doing, as a matter of fact. Did they just not care that people were leaving garbage everywhere?
Katsuki almost said he felt relief the moment he saw UA in the distance, right before he noticed the fucking can on the fucking floor in front of the fucking school gates. He felt something snap in him.
The blonde teen charged towards the eye-catching red can on the floor with a roar, screaming, “DIE!!!!”
He kicked it into the air with all his might, his Quirk exploding into action. The can exploded into even tinier little burning pieces in the air, akin to fireworks in the night sky. The blonde dutifully ignored the extras loitering in the background as he stormed towards the classrooms.
Behind him, Katsuki didn’t notice the gawking students and teachers that stared at him like he was insane. Some shook their head, muttering about how youths nowadays were totally disregarding public morals. Some of the older years despaired about their dreams for a peaceful school life. Their hopes were dashed already, this early in the year. The school day hadn’t even started, for goodness sake.
Katsuki forcefully slid open the door, still in a somewhat bad mood. The first thing his eyes landed on were Izuku and a brunette getting cosy.
His face darkened. The sudden surge of annoyance and another feeling he couldn’t describe right away caught him by surprise. Katsuki frowned, before he realized he was feeling jealous of all things.
He, Bakugou Katsuki, was feelings jealous.
Ahh, Kacchan. You're killing me.
As always, please leave a comment if you liked it hehe :)
Izuku tracked Kacchan as he moved towards the school. He felt slightly puzzled. Why was Kacchan feeling angry so early in the day? What could possibly have happened on the way to school?
He chatted absentmindedly with his new friend and classmate, Uraraka Ochako, as he subconsciously focused on Kacchan’s presence. You’d think it’d be extremely difficult focusing on a single Aura, considering the amount of people in the school now. On the contrary, it was extremely easy.
It was practically a subconscious reaction to focus on Kacchan’s Aura. He didn’t even need more than a fleeting thought to locate Kacchan now. It felt as natural as breathing. The only way he could liken it to was that his soul was resonating with Kacchan’s. It might not make much sense to other people, but just felt right.
He smiled at Ochako, as he inwardly basked in the feeling of Kacchan’s Aura. Whatever he was feeling, even if he was angry, he just couldn’t help himself. Kacchan felt warm, like the sun. Whether or not he flew too close, causing him to crash and burn, Izuku couldn’t keep himself away. He’d already been burned once from flying too close to the sun, but he couldn’t help it. The pure allure that Kacchan presented to him would bypass whatever defences he mocked up without fail.
The weight of Kacchan’s anger was almost calming. He was outside the door now. Izuku tried to stop himself from looking towards the door too eagerly. He kept his eyes on his new friend. It would be rude to look elsewhere when he was still amid conversation with her.
It took every ounce of his willpower not to look at the door when it slid open. The sudden flare of jealousy that appeared in Kacchan’s Aura sent delicious shivers down his spine. There was a mix of jealousy and possessiveness swirling around his Aura.
The green-haired teen’s heart started doing miniature seizures as he valiantly tried not to look. He struggled with himself for a moment. His stomach was doing little somersaults without his permission. Izuku gave in. His eyes snapped to Kacchan’s red ones, trying to calm his loudly thumping heart.
If anything, it only sped up more. He could only pray no one in his class had any kind of super hearing Quirk. Even then, it felt like his heart was beating so loudly that people would be able to hear his heartbeat even with normal hearing. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to look them in the eye if he knew they were able to hear how embarrassing his heart was being, even if only subconsciously.
His heart wouldn’t calm down. His mind wouldn’t calm down. He didn’t know if he wanted it to, either. He still wasn’t quite used to having part of Kacchan’s attention again. He felt like he was navigating blind. He was taking tentative steps forward; not sure which direction was the correct path to take.
Izuku tried to suppress his shudder as a stronger feeling of jealousy ran over him. Why was he jealous anyway? It wasn’t like Izuku hadn’t had other friends before. Then again, perhaps Kacchan didn’t know since he didn’t pay any attention to him outside of the feelings of hate that were directed at him when he was in his line of sight.
Izuku flinched inwardly at his own thoughts. What was he doing, hurting himself? He shoved the depressing thought away. He managed to control the blush that threatened to cover his face as Kacchan’s eyes roved over him with such intensity.
He watched as Kacchan’s eyes left his form, only to land on Ochako’s. He fought down his own irrational surge of jealousy when he realized that Kacchan was glaring at her. His gaze then quickly returned to meet his eyes. Kacchan’s Aura had a bit of… Izuku felt the most inappropriate amount of glee when he realized that Kacchan’s Aura gave off the feeling of pouting. He was behaving like a kid who had his favourite toy taken away, or a kid realizing he had to share his favourite toy to play nice.
“Ooh! Deku, who’s that?” said Ochako.
Izuku opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by another voice.
“If you’re here to socialize, then get out.”
The voice was low and deep. Izuku followed the direction of the voice, his eyes sinking to the floor to look at the man.
The man was lying on the floor in a strange yellow sleeping bag of all things. He looked like a caterpillar. Izuku watched with interest as the person he assumed was their teacher inhaled some sort of nutritional drink.
Their supposed teacher looked tired. He looked somewhat unkempt with his messy black hair and bloodshot eyes. Izuku watched with growing interest as he realized that their teacher’s Aura pulsed with anticipation, excitement and sadistic pleasure. It contrasted with his blank look which didn’t betray his inner emotions. Izuku didn’t know if it was a façade or if it was just his natural disposition, but his interest was piqued.
He introduced himself as their homeroom teacher, Aizawa Shouta. “Now, put these gym clothes on and head out to the grounds,” he said, pulling a blue shirt with a white UA design.
Izuku eyed them dubiously. How did Aizawa-sensei manage to fit all those clothes into his sleeping bag? Did he have some kind of Quirk to do with space?
As they changed, Izuku realized that Kacchan was still poking him with spikes of jealousy that was tinged with sulky feelings. He also glared at the rest of their male classmates when their gazes turned in their direction, radiating possessiveness.
Izuku suppressed a laugh. Silly Kacchan. There was no way they were looking at his body. If anything, they were probably looking over because they were curious about why Kacchan was glaring at them for no apparent reason.
Katsuki crossed his arms as he leaned on the locker, scowling. “Why did that extra call you Deku?!”
Izuku’s traitorous heartbeat increased again, feeling giddy at Kacchan’s green-eyed envy.
“Kacchan,” he said patiently, “you can’t go around calling my other friends extras. Also, she asked if I had any nicknames and I told her the one you gave me when we were younger.”
Izuku was unprepared for the enormous amount of guilt that Kacchan practically shoved at him. They were strong. Much stronger than the minute amounts of guilt that Kacchan had on and off the past couple of days. This felt more like when he woke up on the hospital bed with Kacchan at his bedside.
It felt heavy.
“Kacchan? What’s wrong?” he asked.
Izuku noticed the number of eyes staring at them increase at Kacchan’s outburst.
He grabbed the blonde by the arm, dragging them out the door and into a dark corner where they could converse in peace.
Izuku turned to look at the other teen. Kacchan’s intense bout of guilt hadn’t decreased any, nor had it waned in intensity. He looked stricken.
“Izuku. You know I don’t think that of you anymore, right?” Kacchan said desperately. “I haven’t for awhile now. I was wrong before. Even if you really didn’t have a Quirk, I shouldn’t have said or implied anything like that. It was wrong of me, so please don’t think you’re useless anymore, okay? I –”
Izuku covered Kacchan’s mouth with his own, trying to convey all his sincerity with the kiss. The surge of adoration that passed through him left him feeling floaty and happy.
“Thank you. You know, Ochako told me ‘Deku’ screams ‘do your best’, so I don’t really mind if you call me that again, Kacchan.”
Izuku leaned up to press a kiss to Kacchan’s cheek, feeling at peace with himself. Intellectually, he already knew that Kacchan had regretted doing those things in the past, but no matter how much he had convinced himself, it hadn’t quite sunk in. He hadn’t realized that there was still a part of him that needed to hear it out loud before he could fully put it to rest.
Katsuki scowled, his Aura radiating conflicted feelings. The crushing guilt that lessened somewhat, still simmering in the background, but it wasn’t threatening to overflow any time soon. The tinge of jealousy and possessiveness as well as unwillingness came back.
Izuku smiled at his friend. He’d tried as hard as he could to restrain himself from kissing Kacchan silly too much over the past couple of days. It was hard. Really hard. But they weren’t a couple yet, so he had to work step by step. Hopefully he wasn’t acting too entitled by sneaking a couple of kisses here and there, but he couldn’t quell all his feelings.
The two of them left for the grounds outside the school, quickly joining back with the rest of the class as subtly as possible.
Oooh, what's this? A longer chapter! :>
My two dorks are on different pages. One thinks they're already in a relationship, one doesn't...
Jealous Kacchan is my aesthetic.
Leave a comment if you enjoyed!
“Bakugou. Midoriya. You’re late,” came a dark voice. Aizawa-sensei did not look very happy. He didn’t reflect it in his Aura, however. In fact, the amount of sadistic pleasure seemed to have increased. It had a distinct flavour of schadenfreude mixed with a healthy dose of anticipation. “Well, whatever.”
Katsuki and Izuku gathered together with their classmates obediently, waiting to see what they were going to be subjected to today.
“You’re going to be testing your Quirks today.”
Majority of the class broke out into whispers, some of them lobbing questions at their new teacher.
“What about the entrance ceremony? Or guidance sessions?”
“No time to waste on stuff like that if you want to become a Hero,” Aizawa-sensei said, his Aura radiating glee. His expression was nonchalant, as if he didn’t care about anything that they thought.
“UA is known for its ‘freestyle’ educational system. This goes for teachers as well. Soft ball throw, standing long jump, fifty-meter dash, endurance running, sprinting, side to side stepping, upper body training, seated toe touch. All of these you covered in middle school as your standard No-Quirks-Allowed gym tests. What part of it is rational that Quirks are not allowed to be used when calculating the average of those records? Quirks have already been around for some time and they’re still dragging their feet. Honestly.”
Aizawa-sensei cast a pointed look at Katsuki. “Bakugou. How far could you throw in middle school?”
Aizawa-sensei gestured for Katsuki to step into the circle.
“Use your Quirk. Just don’t step out of the circle.”
Izuku’s eyes devoured Kacchan’s lean form as he stretched to get ready for the throw. His Aura was lit up with competitiveness and anticipation. His eyes sparkled lightly in the morning sunlight showing how much he enjoyed competing with others, if his almost maniacal grin didn’t say it already.
Katsuki wound up his arm with the ball gripped securely in his hand. He took a step forward and abruptly released the ball with maximum strength, activating his Quirk at the last possible moment to increase the ball’s momentum.
The ball shot forward in a straight line, a testament to how much power had gone into the pitch that it cut through all air resistance.
The students of 1-A squinted in the direction that the ball flew, trying to make out how far it went.
Izuku felt Aizawa-sensei’s slight gratification at having chosen Kacchan as his example. The sadistic glee was at an all-time high, probably the class would be hard-pressed to follow Kacchan’s example and had to subsequently push themselves for the best result. It would allow him to better test his students and know exactly how capable they were.
He showed his class the device that read how many meters the ball went.
Aizawa-sensei fed them his real-life experience as the class made a fuss about how they could use their Quirks in the Hero course. The sadistic glee that he’d been feeling earlier was non-existent now. Instead, it was replaced with a grim feeling, with a sad tinge.
Izuku reserved further judgement on his new teacher. Had he lost some students before? Regardless, he seemed to have their best interests in mind. Or rather, he was invested in making sure no one died due to incomplete preparation or slacking off.
“The one with the lowest score will be expelled.”
Aizawa-sensei was perfectly serious. He meant every word and would expel the person with the lowest score.
Izuku watched as Aizawa-sensei put on a look of false glee. He still felt slightly down. “Your fates are in your hands. Welcome. This is the Hero Course at UA.”
The green-haired teen pumped himself up. He had to give his all. Then, he didn’t have to do that anymore. Quite frankly, the intense amount of anticipation and glee that was radiating from his classmates were giving him what he could only describe as a high.
It felt like his body was being overloaded with positive emotions. Izuku sucked in a steadying breath, almost subconsciously focusing on the only presence on the field that wasn’t radiating competitiveness.
He would have focused on Kacchan, but… Izuku gave a slight laugh. Kacchan’s Aura was practically the strongest out of everyone else. He could get a high just on Kacchan’s emotions alone.
Izuku locked his focus on Aizawa-sensei as a steadying factor in his mind. It felt like he was a beacon of light from the lighthouse to a boat in the middle of the choppy oceans.
The green-haired teen breathed, focusing on Aizawa-sensei. He let the gentle feeling of One for All wash over him, pushing it into his muscles and bones, reinforcing everything. He managed to push in around 11% of it, otherwise he would be overloaded and be liable to break something.
The future teen Hero blasted through the first event, achieving a great increase from his middle school scores. He ran it in 4.13 seconds, crossing the finishing line the same time as Kacchan. They exchanged grins, equally pleased for each other.
Izuku could practically hear the gears turning in Kacchan’s mind about how he could use his Quirk for the other events. He grinned, feeling the blood pumping through his veins. His heartbeat sounded loud in his ears. The adrenaline was giving him a rush.
The green-haired teen unintentionally hyper focused on the following events. As he came out of his daze, he realized that he was the only student standing on the field. Kacchan had already performed earlier in front of the class for the softball throw.
He looked around, realizing that he was the last student. After his turn the scores would be tabulated to see who would be the last in rank, and subsequently expelled.
The moment he came back from his tunnel vison, he was already winding up for the throw. The anticipation, sheer ambition and aggressive emotions slammed into him akin to a rock smashing onto an egg.
He was immediately overwhelmed by the Aura of his classmates as they unintentionally influenced him. Izuku’s eyes widened. In that brief moment, he accidentally pushed too much of One for All into his body. It was too late to release it as the softball flew from his fingers.
Then all of a sudden, all the built-up momentum stopped as One for All abruptly left his body. He couldn’t feel the Quirk anymore. The softball flew a pathetic 46 meters. Izuku was startled. His mind raced as he tried to figure out what happened to One for All.
As he fumbled around, he suddenly realized how quiet was. The world was muted and silent. Startled, he turned around to look at his classmates. They were still there. So was Aizawa-sensei. Kacchan was staring at him with surprise, which seemed like it was slowly morphed into concern. Izuku categorized these changes detachedly. It felt like he was an observer. His body wasn’t listening to his commands.
The world was just a piece of white noise. He couldn’t feel them. He couldn’t – he couldn’t feel Kacchan. He took in a stuttering breath. Izuku started trembling lightly. It felt like a part of his Soul had been ripped away from him. He felt incomplete. Deficient. Fragmented. It felt like half of him was gone.
He couldn’t feel Kacchan. He couldn’t feel the warmth from his Soulmate. Couldn’t feel his little fluttering emotions, couldn’t feel his Aura, that was like basking in the warmth of the sun. God, he couldn’t feel Kacchan.
He couldn’t feel the all-consuming love that had haunted his every thought since the day he was four. Everything felt unfamiliar and alien. He was whole, but at the same time, he wasn’t. The love and affection that had been a constant in his life, the only thing that kept him going nowadays was gone. It was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
His world had been ripped apart at the seams. The foundations of his very being were crumbling down. He felt like he had been dropped into a world filled with ice and coldness. He rubbed his arms, feeling the chill, shivering. He felt so, so cold.
He felt something soft grab him. Aizawa-sensei was saying something, but he couldn’t hear him over the sound of the rushing blood in his ears. His heart was beating erratically. He couldn’t put together his thoughts. They didn’t make any sense. It was hard to breathe. It felt like he was breathing, but no oxygen was entering his lungs. The world was so cold. So white. So quiet.
His hands and fingers were numb with cold. He clenched them lightly but felt nothing. He tried pushing One for All into his fingers, but he felt nothing. He saw people, but they didn’t look familiar to him. A sense of terror started threading its way into his heart, unlike any he’d ever felt before. It felt like someone had taken a hammer and smashed it into his chest. It felt like something had broken deep within him.
Izuku called out for help – Kacchan. Then, he knew nothing.
What do you think? Leave a comment if you enjoyed it :)
I started a new story. You can check it out if you like (and leave me some comments there as well #shameless). It's set in the A/B/O Universe. Izuku goes from an Omega to an Alpha, haha. Just wait for the chaos he's going to cause.
Shouta inwardly panicked even as his face was still the epitome of cool when his student passed out while his support item was still wrapped around him. Sure, people passed out on him all the time, but usually before that, he had to bash them into oblivion before they passed out. People didn’t just pass out because he used Erasure, for fucks sake. There was something wrong.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.
What just happened? He needed to get Midoriya to Recovery Girl stat. He bundled up the other with his support item, keeping him securely in the cloth as he rushed his student towards the medical wing.
He might have called out a few instructions to his students as he left them rapidly, but damned if he could remember what he said right now.
Shouta quickly pressed speed dial 1, which was Recovery Girl’s number and informed her what happened. It was at this moment that he realized Bakugou was still running behind him, looking somewhat desperate with a mix of terror and concern on his face.
“Bakugou, get back to class with the other students,” he said, voice coming out sharper than he intended. These Hero course students were all full of passion and youthful ideals. He couldn’t believe it was coming from Bakugou of all people, though.
Watching his performance in that Entrance Exam had already made a few of his weaknesses available for all to see. He thought he would have to work on getting this boy to tone down his aggressiveness a little, but he was pleasantly surprised that he would be following him out of concern for his classmate.
Wait. Would people feel that much over a classmate that they hardly knew? He saw their exchange earlier in the field. Dare he say they almost seemed friendly? The gears in his head started spinning rapidly. Why did Midoriya just collapse like that? It was eerily reminiscent to a puppet with its strings cut.
Shouta’s eyebrows furrowed. Did Midoriya have some sort of internal Quirk? That shouldn’t be right. Based on what he saw, Midoriya seemed to have a Quirk that was similar to All Might’s, in which it increased his physical speed and strength. It also seemed to have a toll on his body.
Holy shit he was totally panicking. He knew he had to keep a hold on himself so that the students wouldn’t panic as well, but it was all he could do to keep his mask of calm on his face. He couldn’t even let any of it show since Bakugou was following him.
It took way too long for the sight of the door to Recovery Girl’s medical office to appear. Intellectually, he knew it was only a few meters away, but most of the time, he was able to handle any accidents before they got too disastrous. And frankly, it was usually due to the student’s own stupidity that got them into any of such messes in the first place. This time, however, was by his own hand. By his own Quirk, even. Or so he theorized.
“Chiyo,” he called out, bursting into the room.
She gestured for him to place Midoriya on the bed for her to examine. She hopped up onto a stool, efficiently checking his vitals for what was wrong.
Shuota’s feet moved him to the other side of Midoriya’s bed, only to find that what he anticipated to be his most problematic student already standing there like he had his feet rooted into the ground.
The teacher and student silently stood by the green-haired teen’s bed, almost beside themselves with worry. Shouta felt like his eyes were dryer than ever. He had dry eye a lot of times, but that was due to him using his Quirk. He rubbed his eyes, feeling tired. It didn’t help.
He stared at his student, his mind blank. Exactly what went wrong? He hadn’t expected that something would really happen. It was only the first day, for fuck’s sake. In fact, he’d used his Quirk on Midoriya exactly for the hopes of him not hurting himself.
It looked like he had been out of control. He could tell from the slightly wild eyes the other had thrown his way unintentionally. He managed to hit the other with his Quirk before he could release whatever latent energy his Quirk was going to release, but evidently something still happened.
Why did he just pass out like that?
Fuck, he’s never hurt a student unintentionally, and especially not without knowing how they got damaged.
Shouta startled inwardly when Recovery Girl shook her head.
“There’s nothing wrong with him, from what I can see.”
“What the fuck do you mean nothing’s wrong,” Bakugou interrupted rudely. His voice contained an underlying terror, so the two of them let it slide this once.
Recovery Girl whacked him with her syringe. “Don’t get sassy with me. Wait until I’ve finished talking.” Or so he thought.
“By all accounts, he seems to be just sleeping. There’s nothing wrong with his vitals from what I can see. Aizawa, what exactly happened? I wanted to ask you, but you hung up without explaining.”
Bakugou’s eyes were especially intense when they locked onto him. It kind of felt like how a lion would stare down its prey as it decided whether or not to eat it.
“I used Erasure on him. His Quirk didn’t manage to activate. He seemed rather startled before he turned to look at the class. I started scolding him about how if he recklessly uses his Quirk like that, he’d end up hurting himself by saving a single person before being out of action.”
Shouta paused to scrutinise the memory and think about whether or not he had unintentionally left out any details about the accident. “Then, he just seemed to collapse. Luckily I already used my support item to try and drive the point in.”
He heard Bakugou mutter “Luckily my ass” but he was gracious enough to ignore it. It seemed like these two already had some sort of friendship before school started, so it was understandable that he would be this worried.
He was watching Bakugou’s face as it suddenly paled. It seems like he had an inkling of what might have happened.
“Wait. Erasure. As in Erasure of Quirks? You used it on Izuku?” Bakugou said, his voice slightly shaky.
Shouta nodded to confirm it, a bad feeling starting to grow when his student lost what little colour he had left in his face.
“I – he has a Quirk,” Bakugou said, stumbling over his words. “Or rather, he has two Quirks. One of them is the one that gives him super strength and super speed, but he has another Quirk as well.”
Shouta and Recovery Girl waited patiently to give him more time to collect himself and explain further. They waited for two minutes before Shouta felt like he needed to interfere.
“What’s the other Quirk?”
Shouta watched as Bakugou was conflicted whether he should tell them or not, going through internal conflict.
“He hasn’t recorded it down,” said Recovery Girl, clicking her tongue, looking displeased. “We’re going to have a long chat about neglect after he wakes up.”
“He has a Soulmate Quirk,” Bakugou blurted, evidently having made up his mind.
Oh, thought Shouta. Then he paled as the implications hit him. Fuck, if that Quirk works the way I think it works, then – doesn’t that mean I just Erased whomever he imprinted on. Shit. I hope this doesn’t have long-lasting consequences for Midoriya.
I might kind of.. maaaay have... you know... a soft spot for Aizawa. Just saying. (As can be seen from my newest fic..) I just want to squish him. SO CUTE.
On another note, you know how I didn't kill Izuku in this fic? Yeah... The alternate ending is up. It's titled 'Izuku is Dead'. *shifty eyes*
Katsuki inwardly beat himself up as soon he blurted out that Izuku had a Soulmate Quirk. It didn’t seem like something Izuku was keen about sharing. He didn’t know why, but he knew that such a Quirk was unheard of.
Katsuki had combed through various reports about Quirks, both reported officially and unofficially, but he’d never heard of a similar Quirk manifesting. If they did, they didn’t have any information on it. Those were a long ten months that he’d spent in a sort of frenzy, looking for anything that might have helped him find Izuku.
The blonde grit his teeth before powering through, casting aside any future repercussions for later thoughts. Right now, the most immediate worry was that Izuku was still passed out. Their teacher was Eraserhead. This little fact only seemed to increase his stress levels even more. His Quirk of cancelling other Quirks ended as he blinked, but why was Izuku still passed out?
This was quite literally uncharted territory. Mutant, Emitter and Transformation type Quirks were the three categories that existed currently. Erasure affected both Emitter and Transformation type Quirks, but not Mutants. A Soulmate Quirk didn’t fall under any of these. When he flipped through Izuku’s books in the study, his ancestors seemed to classify their Quirk as a manifestation of the Soul. Since it was always in effect, awake or asleep, they classified it as a Passive Quirk.
Katsuki was inclined to agree.
The blonde teen bit the inside of his cheek. He felt both terrified and worried. And guilty. You can’t forget the guilt. His mind kept replaying the scene of Izuku throwing wild eyes at him, his eyes filled with a deep terror and panic as he reached out towards him before collapsing.
Nails dug into flesh, drawing blood from how hard he was pressing down. He felt useless. He wasn’t even the one to catch him when he fell. Instead, it was their teacher. Katsuki felt his eyes burn. He’d swore he would be the one to protect Izuku, but…
Katsuki was startled out of the depressive spiral he had trapped himself in as a slight pain appeared on his cheek. His eyes followed Aizawa’s fingers as they retreated.
“Snap out of it, kid. Explain more. We can’t help him unless we have all the details.”
Aizawa looked emotionless, but Katsuki could somehow feel the underlying stress that the teacher was going through. Katsuki absentmindedly laughed that maybe being around Izuku all the time these days had rubbed off on him more than he thought even if he didn’t have Izuku’s Quirk. He inwardly shook himself out of it. Right. Now wasn’t the time to reflect. He had to help Izuku first. He could beat himself up later. When he knew Izuku was safe.
“He –” Katsuki stumbled over his words, still haunted by a feeling that he was betraying Izuku’s trust. He struggled to get the words out. “I – he told me that his Quirk was a manifestation of his Soul. That’s why they call it a Soulmate Quirk. He inherited his Quirk since it passes down through bloodline. The Quirks are all identical. It manifests whenever they’re first kissed directly on the lips. Basically, they fall in love with that person irreversibly.”
Aizawa and Recovery Girl were silent as they digested the information. If this was true, then they had no relevant information. They had no way to ascertain whether there would be any lasting damage to Midoriya before he woke up, if he would wake up, to confirm their theories.
Wisely, they didn’t say anything. The blonde already looked highly stressed out. They would cross that bridge when they got there.
Katsuki fixed worried eyes on his boyfriend as he silently ran through the implications of having his Quirk erased for a short period of time might do to him. Would it harm him permanently? Would it just return to normal without further complications?
“Did Midoriya already kiss someone?” Aizawa asked aloud. Even he himself wasn’t sure whether he wanted that answer to be a positive or a negative.
Katuski nodded silently, his eyes still locked on Izuku’s still form. Seeing Izuku like this was giving him flashbacks. He felt vaguely ill. He wasn’t quite able to bring himself to voice it out loud. It still felt a bit like a dream these days. Like it hadn’t quite sunk in. It hadn’t helped that Izuku had disappeared for so long after his short stint in the hospital. It felt like speaking about it out loud would break whatever magic that had appeared in his life now. It still felt like a dream that Izuku had survived some days.
But then, Izuku was so fucking still on the bed.
It was surprising how that single word managed to drive a stake through Katsuki’s chest. It felt like an accusation and an admonishment all at once. That’s right. Izuku should have someone else. Someone better. Someone who would be able to cherish him and love him, that had never picked on him cruelly, that had never crushed his feelings under the sole of his foot. Someone who would treat him how he deserved to be treated.
His breaths were coming faster now.
“Bakugou. Bakugou. Kid,” Aizawa lightly patted him on the shoulder, trying to snap him out of it. He blocked Bakugou’s line of sight using his body. “Calm down. Don’t panic. You aren’t helping him by panicking. If you can’t, we’ll have to ask you to vacate the room if your emotions are affecting your judgement.”
“No!” Katsuki snapped out of it. It felt like cold water had been poured over him. He gripped Aizawa’s forearm subconsciously.
Aizawa felt Bakugou’s fingers twitch on his forearm, belaying his distress at the turn of events.
“Me. It’s me,” he grit out, not quite comfortable with two virtual strangers knowing about something so private to them. He made sure his words were said without a stutter. He knew he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself in the future if he couldn’t say this without faltering.
The teacher and nurse exchanged a glance. This was bad. It was worse than they thought. Should they get him to leave? He was obviously compromised, and they weren’t sure if his information would be accurate. But he was their only source of information. This couldn’t be good for his mental state.
Recovery Girl tried to break it to him gently. “Since this is unprecedented, there’s no telling what might have happened to the Soul bond. It’s entirely possible that the bond might be broken, or it could have just stretched a little and snapped back in place after Erasure was cancelled. Since Erasure can’t erase underlying Quirks, its unlikely that his Quirk is gone.” She paused, not quite sure how to continue without breaking the blonde.
“It’s possible that his bond with you might be gone. So, you have to prepare yourself for when he wakes up. He might still be in love with you, but its also possible that he might not anymore.”
Katsuki paled as the implications that had previously escaped him hit all at once. No. No, no, no. His heart was pounding a frantic rhythm in his chest. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He. Izuku. Might not love him anymore?
The blood completely drained from his face. He felt a round of tears build up in his eyes. Would… would Izuku still have his bond with him? He choked, collapsing next to Izuku’s. He groped for Izuku’s hand. It felt clammy and cold.
He felt a hand on his shoulder. Katsuki couldn’t quite bring himself to react as he usually did. He didn’t shrug the hand off, nor swear at the teacher. He detachedly sneered at himself inwardly for needing reassurance like some pathetic kid.
He pressed his face into Izuku’s hand. He felt a few stray tears escape. He had just been thinking about how Izuku should have someone who would have him as a priority, that would cherish him for what he was worth and would be there every step of the way. Would he stop that if the bond was really gone? Would he really be that selfish?
A sob escaped. He didn’t even know if he loved Izuku. He knew he liked him, but he also knew there was no plausible way that his emotions even matched up to an iota of Izuku’s love.
Izuku deserved the world, and Katsuki…Katsuki couldn’t give it to him.
His breath caught in his lungs. His eyes were burning. Would he really have to let Izuku go? Izuku had never been the one to initiate the kiss. He had never voluntarily subjected himself to his Quirk. A fresh wave of tears broke out. Izuku probably wouldn’t even love him, even if he wasn’t under the influence of his Quirk. His teeth were chattering, making obnoxiously loud sounds in the silence of the room. Katsuki grit his teeth, trying to hold it in.
Izuku’s hand twitched, causing him to make unpleasant connections to how he had been in a similar state just ten months prior. His breath caught for a different reason. He felt conflicted. He felt such a huge amount of relief that Izuku was waking up, but he was also filled with terror.
He wasn’t ready.
He wasn’t ready to let Izuku go. But he should. He should be free to love whomever he chooses. Shouldn’t he? He was chaining down Izuku for his own selfish desires when he didn’t even know if he loved Izuku.
Katsuki’s heart trembled.
He should let Izuku go.
;_; Katsuki noooo.
On a side note, can I just say how awkwardly adorable Shouta is? He's so unused to trying to comfort his students. Especially since he seems to be at fault.
Izuku didn’t so much as wake up as he was jolted back to reality. It felt like what he imagined being hit with an electric shock felt like. There was something wet on his hand. It wasn’t completely wet, like he’d stuck his hand out into a drizzle. Why was his hand wet?
Behind his eyelids, the world slowly clicked back into place. It trickled in slowly. He could sense and feel the emotions surrounding him. Worry. Shock. Fear. Anxiety. Guilt. Hope. Anticipation.
Izuku furrowed his brows. Why? Why did everything feel… strange? It felt like he was sensing the emotions through a fogged glass. Like it was there but wasn’t at the same time. He knew they were there, but actually making sense of the feelings was a whole different story altogether. Pinpointing what the emotions were had given him a splitting headache.
The green-haired teen tentatively opened an eyelid, flinching almost immediately from the bright glare of the lights above him.
“Sorry about that, dearie,” he heard, the lights dimming behind his eyelids.
He felt someone clutching at his hand. It was almost painful. Who was it? The only one who possibly would worry that much would be… Kacchan?
At the thought, the emotions he had been sensing earlier hit him like a freight train with a driver high off his own Quirk. The fog blocking him out earlier dissipated all at once, like it had never been there. The clarity and focus snapped back into place like it never left in the first place.
Izuku gasped a little and mentally flexed his senses, his range expanding. He categorized every Aura he was feeling before retracting his senses again. He subconsciously focused on the Aura next to him.
Kacchan? Why was he so worried?
Izuku’s eyes shot open at the thought, his eyes immediately darting to the person clutching his hand. Tears started filling his eyes. He could feel Kacchan again. He could feel him. Izuku was immediately flooded with a pure, unadulterated sense of relief. It felt like all the tension had been released from his body.
He felt good. He could feel Kacchan. He could feel other people as well. It was almost like the previous incident didn’t happen at all. What happened?
Little droplets slipped down his face. Kacchan looked emotionless. He made a little aborted motion towards Izuku’s face before stopping. He felt like he was holding himself back. A strong sense of self-reproach was tinting his Aura. The relief that Izuku had been feeling earlier evaporated as he felt the emotions the other was projecting. Why? Why? What happened?
The hand clutching Izuku’s slowly retreated. Izuku tried to grab the other’s hand, but Kacchan subtly rejected him. A sense of panic started to make its way through Izuku’s body. Did Kacchan not want him anymore?
Izuku shot Kacchan an alarmed look, still not sure what was happening. He looked around for his teacher, wondering if he would fill him in. Kacchan didn’t feel like he wanted to do that. Kacchan was projecting a grim determination, along with the guilt that had been plaguing him ever since that one fateful day.
Izuku found Aizawa-sensei and Recovery Girl watching him carefully. It felt like they were waiting for something to happen. Like they were waiting for something to go wrong or were waiting for him to do something radical.
“I – I – Aizawa-sensei? What happened?” Izuku asked tentatively, not sure if they had the answers he was looking for.
Once Izuku looked back at Kacchan, he couldn’t bring himself to look away. The blonde’s Aura was plagued with indecision and apprehension. Why? What had he done? Kacchan wouldn’t meet his eyes. He was looking away, refusing to look in his direction at all.
Izuku tried to think back to the incident, desperation mounting inside him. He didn’t think he did anything wrong. In fact, he was pretty sure he just fainted or passed out without doing much. Did he do something while he was unconscious?
Aizawa-sensei pinched his chin and turned his head gently towards him, making him tear his eyes away from Kacchan.
“Hey. How are you feeling?”
Izuku’s eyes darted towards Kacchan, but he couldn’t quite see him, only seeing the faintest colour of blonde from his peripheral vision. His eyes returned to looking at his stressed-out teacher. He was projecting worry, just like Recovery Girl, even if his face was set to be neutral.
The green-haired teen struggled to answer, not quite sure what they wanted to hear.
“I – I’m fine.”
Aizawa-sensei hit him with a deadpan look, his exasperation tinging his Aura. “I’m sure,” he said, “Do you want Bakugou to leave the room while we try and explain what happened?”
“No –” Izuku immediately blurted out, hurriedly stopping any thoughts of expulsion of the blonde from the room.
Kacchan’s Aura swirled with a mix of gratefulness as well as unhappiness. There was something that felt familiar to him. He hoped he would never feel it again, but there was the slightest bit of Kacchan feeling the hints of rejection, like he had before Izuku’s trip to the hospital.
“Okay,” his teacher said, causing him to relax the slightest bit. “Now, answer truthfully, okay?” the teacher said, waiting for his nod before he continued. “Is there anything wrong with your bond with Bakugou? I used Erasure on your Quirk earlier, and I’m sorry. I didn’t know about the potential implications that might have happened because I didn’t know about your Quirk.”
Izuku gave a jerky nod, not quite sure where this was going. Wait. Erasure. His teacher was Eraserhead! Erasing of Quirks. Erasing of his Soulmate Quirk. Erasure of… his bond with Kacchan?!
The green-haired teen paled immediately. No. He regained some colour in his face. He could still feel Kacchan, and his feelings were still as strong as ever. But, why was Kacchan rejecting him? The little colour that had returned to his face fled again at the thought.
He could feel the eyes studying his reactions, but he had no liberty of any other thoughts now. Was this why? Was this why Kacchan had rejected him? Was still rejecting him? Did he think their bond was broken? Did he think that now that Izuku’s bond to him was gone, he would be able to absolve himself of any guilt? Kacchan was going to leave him?
Izuku felt the tears prick his eyes, his traitorous tear ducts bringing out his tears. The teen struggled with himself. If… if being away from him made Kacchan happy, who was he to deny the teen that? How could he be so selfish as to keep Kacchan all for himself? Kacchan never wanted this in the first place. Izuku had been the one shoving his feelings in the other teen’s face. This all developed because of him, after all. Because of his Quirk.
Kacchan had been feeling the guilt for so long. Wasn’t it better for him to pretend that the bond was gone so that Kacchan would be free? He would no longer be chained down by Izuku’s emotions. Izuku felt a hysterical laugh bubble up inside of him. What a joke. He was wandering in a maze of his own creation, a labyrinth of his own making, and he was the one making Kacchan play alongside him.
It felt like a heavy weight had sunk to the bottom of his stomach the moment he made up his mind. “Yes,” he said, voice barely a whisper, shaky and uncertain. “I don’t feel the bond anymore.”
Kacchan’s Aura spiked with distress before it was gone almost immediately. Izuku wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not. Maybe he was just looking for things that weren’t there to keep the blonde for himself.
“I see,” came an emotionless voice. Izuku shuddered hearing that, the weight in his stomach increasing. He had a sinking feeling. He didn’t know if he could handle life without Kacchan again.
Izuku couldn’t bring himself to look over, the blonde teen’s emotions surprisingly masked. He wasn’t sure if it was because Kacchan had somehow learnt how to hide his emotions from him or if he himself was subconsciously blocking out how the other felt in his apprehension.
There was a silence in the room. The silence was deafening. Then, he heard the door open and shut gently. Izuku’s body shook with involuntary trembles, instantaneously hit with a tidal wave of regret. He felt disgusted with himself. He was so selfish that he wished he could take back those words the moment they left his mouth. Kacchan really was better off without a selfish person with him.
The freckled teen squeezed his eyes shut, a few stray tears escaping from his eye ducts once again. The fingers on his chin retreated, allowing him to drop his head, shielding anyone else from seeing the regret filling his eyes.
Aizawa ran a hand down his face as his student let out a sob. “Shit.”
Oh my god, guys. Communication is important. Kacchan. Izukuuuuu ;_;
Poor Aizawa... this was not what he signed up for.
Aizawa sighed inwardly as he looked at the crying teen on the bed. He sat down heavily on the bed next to him. This was not what he expected on the first day of school. At most he expected to have a bit of sadistic fun when he revealed the fact that the person who ranked last would be expelled.
Izuku hiccupped, trying to muffle his sobs. Recovery Girl and Aizawa-sensei were still in the room. How embarrassing. Part of him couldn’t care less, but another part of him still wondered if he was making a bad impression on the adults in the room.
He heard the door open and shut again, causing him to flinch inwardly as Recovery Girl’s Aura of exasperation and concern left the room.
Izuku tensed up slightly before relaxing when he felt a hand pat him awkwardly on the back. His vision was still blurry when he tried to look at his teacher.
“There, there,” he heard. Aizawa-sensei’s Aura was expressing awkwardness and concern. Izuku couldn’t help the small laugh that left him when he felt the sheer amount of awkwardness his teacher was radiating, which also showed in his awkward reactions.
He pressed his fingers to his eyes, wrestling his fluctuating emotions under control. He harshly rubbed away the remaining tears in his eyes. Now wasn’t the time to cry.
The green-haired teen looked at his teacher with swollen eyes, which felt a little dry, feeling a little calmer than before.
“So, kid,” Aizawa-sensi said, still completely discomforted. “Mind telling me why you lied about your bond being broken?”
Izuku’s thoughts screeched to a halt when he registered what his teacher said. What? How did Aizawa-sensei know?
“How do you know?” he blurted out, completely puzzled. Did this mean Kacchan knew as well and he left because he was so disgusted with him? Izuku’s breath hitched at the thought, his mind falling into a state of chaos.
He distantly heard a groan. “I didn’t know for sure, obviously, but you just confirmed it.”
Izuku’s trembling fingers slowly calmed down as embarrassment started creeping up on him instead. That was the oldest trick in the book. He couldn’t believe he fell for it! Aizawa-sensei wasn’t helping things any with his tinges of amusement.
The green-haired teen buried his face in his hands, trying to hide his burning face.
“Is there a reason why you lied about your bond being broken?”
Izuku struggled with himself before he recalled what the teen magazine said about how you should confide things to at least one person instead of bottling it all inside to wait for it to explode at the worst possible moment. At the thought of Kacchan, he felt a sharp pang in his heart.
“I – my Quirk…I didn’t exactly have Kacchan’s consent when it was used. Anyway, it only affects me. My feelings, I mean. Kacchan felt guilty when I tried committing suicide around ten months ago, so he started developing some feelings for me because of that. I don’t want to force him into anything. He’d be happier without me. I – I –”
Aizawa cut him off abruptly, unable to let this negative train of thought go on for any longer than it should. “You’re rambling, kid. Listen to me,” he said, looking deeply into his student’s eyes. He desperately wanted to look away with how awkward he felt, but he continued looking sternly at his student for his own sake.
“For a relationship to work, it has to be a two-way street, understand? I can tell that kid there,” he said, nodding at the door, “definitely has feelings for you. It was all there in the way he reacted while you were still unconscious. If you want a relationship to work, both of you have to put in the effort.”
Izuku shoved down his reflexive denial of the words his new teacher told him, slowly digesting the meaning behind the words.
“You don’t get to say what the other person is feeling unless you ask first, and you didn’t do that.”
“But I – I can feel emotions. Kacchan rejected me. He rejected me. I could feel it.”
Aizawa-sensei gave him a dry look, his exasperation multiplying with every word that came out of Izuku’s mouth. The green-haired teen hunched in on himself a little, feeling slightly defensive, and vulnerable. He’d never shared his thoughts and emotions with anyone before.
“Have you ever thought that maybe, you know, Bakugou had already half convinced himself that your bond was broken even before you woke up? How would you feel if the person you liked, who you knew for sure liked you back, would no longer feel that way any longer?”
Izuku paled, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach. A bad feeling started dawning on him, horror slowly building inside him, inch by inch. His heart rate started increasing exponentially.
The door opened silently as Recovery Girl strode in as quickly as her short stride let her. She was carrying a thick book that was half as tall as her. Izuku subconsciously tensed up as he felt her Aura radiating what he could only describe as similar to how Mitsuki-san felt when she was about to chew Kacchan out.
She placed the heavy book in his lap, flipping the book open to where the bookmark was placed. “Read this,” she said, tapping her finger on a line.
Communication, he silently read. The imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium. A letter or message containing information or news. Social contact. The successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings. Izuku paused and ran through the words again, his mind tripping on the use of the word ‘successful’ in the last definition. His thoughts were running a mile a minute, frantically spinning over the one phrase. He felt like he was on the verge of a breakthrough, but he wasn’t quite there yet.
“Do you understand, young man?” Recovery Girl said sternly, but kindly. “The successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings. And what have you done?”
Izuku sucked in a shocked breath, what he’d done suddenly hitting him in full force. What little blood he still had in his face left rapidly, leaving Aizawa and Recovery Girl looking at the new student in concern and worry.
Izuku lurched to his feet, stumbling. Aizawa-sensei quickly stabilised him before he was running out the door, using as much of One For All as All Might had deemed usable.
He had to fix this.
Behind him, Recovery Girl and Aizawa exchanged looks.
Aizawa shot the elderly doctor a dry glare. He’d been doing so well too. What Recovery Girl just did was akin to launching a nuclear bomb at the poor student. He was breaking the news to him gently, but what the fuck was up with that dictionary. Did she go all the way to the library to pick that up just to shove that in his face?
Recovery Girl felt both slightly relieved as well as worried that she took it too far. There was a reason why she specialized in physical recovery and not just because of her Quirk, either. Her medical professor had told her she had practically no tact, after all. She’d been getting slightly better over the years of being a professional, but there was always room for improvement.
So, tell me. Do you or do you not love Aizawa? Kick that boy's ass into gear! That's right! I love Dadzawa.
Couldn't get that one scene of someone shoving a dictionary at him (from my lovely reader Nescafeine) out of my head, so here it is...
Also, Happy Birthday to me. This is a present for both you and I hehe. :)
Izuku didn’t know how long he ran around aimlessly, trying his hardest to find Kacchan. Subconsciously, he ruled out the places that Kacchan wouldn’t have gone, leaving him a plethora of places he might have instead. Izuku tripped over his feet in his haste, sending him tumbling down onto the ground. He blinked away the pain, discarding it without a second thought.
He hurriedly stood up, a sense of panic filling him at allowing Kacchan to have the thought they weren’t bonded anymore. Wait. He mentally slapped himself. What was he doing? Why the hell was he not using his bond with Kacchan to track him down. He had partially blocked away the feelings he received from the bond, forcing it to the back of his mind.
He took a breath to calm himself down. Slowly, the green-haired teen pushed away the various other Auras in the area, letting his subconscious fall back onto the bond that was the most important to him.
Izuku jerked like he’d been shocked. Horror suddenly burst forth at what he’d done to Kacchan. The feelings that he thought were his own were mirroring and reflecting what Kacchan was feeling, his own feelings feeding off Kacchan’s feelings.
The grief, devastation, anxiety and the sense of loss. Everything he’d been feeling, Kacchan had been feeling too. Kacchan’s feelings were pure and unadulterated in intensity, just like his explosive personality. He wasn’t sure if it was because it was Kacchan, but since his Quirk had mutated, or maybe grown, he realized that Kacchan’s feelings were just much more potent than most regular people’s.
Izuku stumbled over his feet again, any grace he might have gained during those ten months went straight out the window. He ran in the direction the bond was leading him, praying hard that Kacchan hadn’t been running when he left. If Kacchan left his sphere of sensing, then how would he manage to find him?
A sense of desperation was steadily building up with him. He wanted to go back in time and slap himself for letting those words out just thirty minutes prior. Tears pooled in his eyes as he felt the feelings that Kacchan was feeling too. He should have just died ten months ago. Maybe then, Kacchan would still have some semblance of happiness.
Izuku searched desperately, single-mindedly running in the direction of where he could feel the bond. He could have broken into tears when he caught sight of Kacchan’s back. Immediately, the green-haired teen launched himself at the other’s back.
“Kacchan,” he cried out, not giving the blonde any time to react before the two of them collided and tumbled to the floor.
The blonde seemed stunned, staring blankly into the sky before quickly trying to detach himself from the other teen. He looked away from the green-haired teen, hurriedly scrubbing his face as best he could before trying to glare at him.
“What do you want? We don’t have anything to do with each other now that the bond isn’t there,” he said, voice coming out oddly subdued.
Izuku struggled to hold back the tears, realizing that the blonde’s eyes, as well as his nose, were red, presumably from crying. He gripped Kacchan’s hands in his, feeling the sadness and heartbreak the other was projecting in his Aura, feeling his own heart break into little pieces. How could he have done this?
Kacchan tried to pull away from him, trying to stand up. Izuku gripped his hand tighter, pulling him back down. The blonde landed with a whump.
“What the hell, Izuku?” Kacchan said, his voice lacking the sharp, familiar heat that had been present during their middle school days. Now, he just sounded defeated, though he was trying to hide it well.
The blonde tried to put up a tough front, keeping his emotions from surfacing on his face, but Izuku could feel the unhealthy cocktail of negative emotions emitting from the blonde.
“Kacchan, don’t go,” he murmured, clutching onto the other’s hand.
Katsuki’s brows furrowed. He started and stopped, feeling like he wanted to say something, but there was nothing that came out. All he felt now was depressed and hurt. Why was it so hard to let go? He knew this was better for Izuku, and he really was trying his best, but why? Why? Why was Izuku coming after him? Why was he making this harder than it had to be?
“I have to go home,” he said at last, trying to pull away from his…ex-boyfriend? Is that all they were now? Tears sprung to his eyes at the thought, the feeling was sharp and agonizing. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Izuku let out a sob. “Wait, Kacchan, don’t go. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Katsuki grit his teeth, not sure what the other was talking about. “What are you talking about? I’m the one who’s sorry, okay? I’m sorry I took your first kiss, your first love. You should have been with someone who would love you how you deserve to be loved, but instead, you’re stuck with me,” he said self-deprecatingly.
Katsuki teared up at the ever-present thoughts that Izuku was too good for him. There was no way that Izuku loved him even without the bond. Who would love someone like him? Someone who had bullied, had hurled sharp insults, had given bruises, cuts and burns. Life wasn’t a fairy tale. Reality hurt.
“I’m sorry,” Izuku cried, breaking down in front of Kacchan. Why was he so weak? He couldn’t even keep his own emotions in check. Kacchan was hurting, and all he was doing was hurt him even further.
“I – the bond wasn’t broken, like I said back in then. It wasn’t. I still love you as much now as I did back when I was only four. Please, please don’t go.”
Izuku trembled inwardly when he felt Kacchan go so very still. It was unlike how he’d ever felt him before. His heart was pounding hard. This could all go very wrong. But he would accept whatever came his way as a way of atonement. Then, he felt the blossom of hurt that welled up within Kacchan, and if he thought what Kacchan was feeling before was bad, this was a hundred times worse.
“Why?” came a quiet voice.
Kacchan was never quiet. It just wasn’t in his nature. Izuku’s heart broke a little further when he realized he was the one who did that.
Looks like the angst isn't over yet. It'll get better soon! ...Maybe.
Our silly boys are finally talking like grown ups. Or rather, they're starting to get there.
Leave me a comment if you liked it! :)
Katsuki didn’t know what to think. He was having mixed feelings over what Izuku just told him. Izuku lied about their bond being broken? Why? Why did he do that? Did he just not want their bond anymore? Was Katsuki such a bad person that Izuku no longer wanted to be around him even with a fucking Soulmate Quirk?
The blonde carefully studied his…boyfriend? Were they still together? Katsuki flinched inwardly at that thought. He tried to read the emotions showing on the other’s face. He didn’t find anything but regret and anxiety. Something within him broke quietly, before he slowly pieced the pieces back together. He still wanted Izuku. Did it matter that he lied about their bond being broken?
Maybe the Katsuki ten months ago might have been able to brush it off and move on, but the Katsuki now knew that his feelings for Izuku weren’t that shallow. He was at least half in love with Izuku. Maybe his feelings for Izuku weren’t as deep yet, but he had a feeling that time went on, his feelings would only deepen.
He was already this far in. He didn’t think he was going to be able to get out now. He didn’t quite want to either. He wanted Izuku. That’s why it hurt so much when he heard that their bond was broken. Izuku had given him a sense of safety that he’d never found with anyone else.
He waited for Izuku to answer him, but he already knew that no matter what Izuku said, he was still going to end up clinging onto him. Katsuki chucked dryly at himself. He never took himself to end up being the clingy type. He’d always thought he wouldn’t ever end up with anybody. He hadn’t been able to imagine himself in a committed relationship. Now, however, he didn’t think he would ever be as fond of another person as he was of Izuku.
When Izuku had said the bond was broken, it had taken every inch of his willpower not to press his lips against Izuku’s to see if they would be able to reproduce the bond. Katsuki squuzed Izuku’s hand in comfort even as his own heart squeezed as he waited for Izuku to calm down.
Katsuki watched with worried eyes as Izuku’s frame shuddered, feeling worried and helpless. He wanted to help, but what could he do? Izuku was the one who had tried to break their bond. Since he didn’t know why, how could he comfort him?
Eventually, Izuku’s frame relaxed as his tears came to a halt. Katsuki tried his best to wait patiently even as anxiety ate at him. He tried to press it down so that it wouldn’t affect Izuku, but he knew he wasn’t entirely successful when Izuku flinched.
“Kacchan. Do you…do you think I’m a burden?”
Katsuki felt entirely stunned when the question registered. What did Izuku think he was asking? Did he really think that Katsuki would think of him that way? Katsuki winced when he remembered how he acted months ago. Before he’d changed, that did seem like something he would think, and the blonde teen felt glad that he wasn’t that way anymore.
“Don’t be an idiot. I told you, didn’t I? I like you. I really, really like you.” Katsuki paused when tears filled Izuku’s eyes again, sending him into a panic. “Why are you crying?! What did I say wrong this time?” Katsuki hastily wiped the tears trailing down the other’s cheeks with his free hand, inwardly fretting.
Izuku let out a watery laugh. “I’m just. Really happy. I’ve been an idiot, haven’t I?” The green-haired teen pressed his face into the other’s warm hand that was still wiping his tears. “I just thought – you know, I’ve been forcing this Soulmate bond on you. You don’t have a choice at all. I thought that the bond was causing you nothing but trouble. Aren’t you just feeling guilty that I tried to commit suicide back then? If I didn’t have this bond with you, you’d never give me a second look, right?”
Katsuki grit his teeth. The things that were coming out of Izuku’s mouth were causing him to see red. Was that really what he thought? Katsuki reflected. Those were the things he’d been thinking too, only in reverse.
“Idiot! Moron!” the blonde huffed a breath, pulling his boyfriend closer into a hug. If he was secretly more secure when they were closer together, no one but Izuku would know. “We’re both idiots, so let’s call it even, okay? I had the same doubts as you, just the other way around. If I never kissed you when we were playing when we were younger, there’s no way you would want to be with me. I bullied you for so many years. You’d be a masochist if you still wanted to be with me after all of that.”
“Kacchan, I still think I would love you even without the bond. When Aizawa-sensei used his Quirk on me, I think I still felt my love for you, just that it was hidden down under the panic I was feeling at that moment.”
Katsuki snorted, still disbelieving. He was completely certain there was no way he would, but they could agree to disagree for now. The blonde pulled away for now, suddenly attacked with a feeling of shyness.
“You don’t believe me,” Izuku said, frowning. Katsuki’s eyes zeroed in on the pouty looking lips, his mind instantly going into the gutter.
“Kacchan,” he heard distantly. “Kacchan, are you listening to me?”
He snapped out of it, feeling his face heating up. Ahh, fuck, what was he doing! That was so fucking embarrassing!
“Well, we’ll never know, anyway. Isn’t that better? You better never fake our bond being broken again, you hear me?” Katsuki said in as firm a voice as he could manage, looking away from his boyfriend. He was so fucking relieved that the bond wasn’t broken. He hated himself a little that he couldn’t bring himself to be happy that it wasn’t broken. Selfish, that’s what he was.
But he knew now that he’d never let Izuku go in the future, even if the other ever came to hate him, he didn’t think he had it in him to let Izuku go again. Doing it once had been hard enough. He’d felt like his soul had shattered. Like he had crushed his own heart into dust himself. He never wanted to feel that way again. The thought of Izuku being with anyone else made him want to grind his teeth as he stabbed the person in his imagination. Izuku was his, dammit.
“We’re good now, right?” he asked tentatively, squeezing the green-haired teen’s hand slightly. The resulting smile from Izuku made him feel like a blind man that had seen the sun for the first time. He blinked dazed eyes as stars danced around his vision.
Fuck why is Izuku so cute?! Fuck, fuck, fuck. Katsuki’s face darkened as he thought about the various boys and girls that would try to steal Izuku away from him.
They better fucking stay away. Or he would help them do it. Permanently.
Holy shit, Kacchan. Why are you raising flags for your relationship?! Here comes Kacchan with his possessiveness. Possessive!Kacchan is practically one of my favorite things ever. Just like possessive!Izuku (laughs).
The angst is finally over! Rejoice!
On another note, I'll be taking a 7 hour flight soon, so chances are that a new chapter will be up rather soon. :)
Katsuki dragged Izuku back to his house. There was no way he was going to let Izuku go back into that house where he tried to commit suicide. Not today. Not ever, if he had anything to do with it. He tried to keep Izuku from going back before, but the green-haired teen had refused to listen to him and insisted on going back. The blonde had mixed feelings about that. On one hand, the apartment held memories of Izuku’s parents, but on the other, it was also the place where Izuku had tried to end his life.
The blonde bundled the both of them up in bed, squeezing the green-haired teen tightly. He felt bone-achingly tired. Today had been a rollercoaster of emotions. His emotions had fluctuated so vastly that it left him feeling drained. With how often he cycled between feeling fine and being mad, you’d think that he would be used to the feeling, but he had never felt as tired as he did right now.
All he wanted to do now was snuggle with his boyfriend in bed, and hopefully catch some uninterrupted sleep. Sleep had seemed so elusive for months. He even knew how to use foundation now. He would never call makeup girly again. Learning how to use it had been an arduous task.
Katsuki waited until Izuku’s breathing evened out before cautiously pressing his ear to Izuku’s chest. He listened to the sound of the slow, steady heartbeats, a sense of drowsiness overtaking him. He was slowly lulled into a sense of security as he calmed down, feeling safe as he pressed near the other teen. Izuku’s heartbeats. Izuku’s breathing. Izuku’s presence. Everything meant he was still alive.
He was alive, and he would stay that way. Katsuki would kill any of those fuckers who tried to take his boyfriend away from him. Or semi-kill them, Katsuki corrected himself grudgingly. Izuku probably wouldn’t be too happy if he really did end up killing them.
Katsuki scowled slightly, feeling like Izuku was influencing his every thought and action. He didn’t know whether to be pleased or unhappy. It felt like his world was steadily evolving to revolve around Izuku’s every action, and he felt slightly scared by this. He didn’t think he would ever be okay without Izuku anymore. He still wanted to be a Hero, but if he had to trade being a Hero for Izuku’s life, Katsuki would have given up being a Hero in a heartbeat if it meant Izuku was safe.
It was terrifying. He felt like he had been pushed up against the edge of a cliff, staring down into the abyss as enemies pressed up from behind. Katsuki bit his inner cheek, feeling nervous and terrified. The sensation slowly built up the more he thought about things, causing worry and unrest to build up within his heart.
Then, he felt a sensation across his shoulders as a weight pressed down. He jolted, out of his thoughts, his heart settling down. He felt like Izuku was holding his hand as the two of them stood at the edge of the cliff, smiling reassuringly at him.
That’s right. They were in this together. Whether or not this relationship worked out was up to them. Katsuki didn’t want the two of them to break up. Even if they had fights, Katsuki wanted to be reassured that they wouldn’t break up. He wanted this relationship. He wanted to be committed. Even if they fought, Katsuki wanted to be able to make up with Izuku and work through their differences.
Katsuki smiled gently as he focused on the pounding of Izuku’s heart, gradually returning to the feeling of peace and contentment. They still had more things to talk about, but Katsuki knew they would get there eventually.
The blonde’s thoughts drifted off, his eyelids too heavy to keep themselves up anymore, sinking into a deep, peaceful, uninterrupted sleep.
Beside him, Izuku cracked open an eye and gave a sleepy smile, feeling warm. He was happy he was able to help Kacchan at least a little by being next to him. Affection bubbled up within his chest, causing him to feel like he’d returned home after a long and weary journey.
He silently resolved himself to talk to Kacchan better from now on. He wouldn’t haphazardly jump to conclusions before he made sure that his feelings and thoughts had been conveyed properly. He loved Kacchan the most in the world. He didn’t know if there was anyone who would love Kacchan as much as he did besides Kacchan’s parents, but he hoped no one appeared in the future.
Kacchan was his. And he was Kacchan’s. He hoped things stayed this way. Even if he knew it was selfish, until he knew for sure that Kacchan’s feelings for him were no longer viewed in any positive light, he wouldn’t back off.
Izuku squeezed the arm still across Kacchan’s shoulders a little tighter, feeling slightly more reassured at the feeling that Kacchan was really still here in his arms, under the same covers. His heart seemed to fill with sweetness. He wished he could share the feeling with everyone in the world.
He hoped they all found love as well. Perhaps the journey would be painful, maybe even heart-breaking and bittersweet, but if they managed to find love in the process, then it was all worth it. Izuku had cried enough tears to fill an ocean in the process, but things were looking up now.
Kacchan liked him. Kacchan liked him. Kacchan liked him. Him, of all people.
He still felt like he was on cloud nine when he thought about this. He felt like he was floating on clouds, carelessly, carefree and unshackled, like a baby bird learning how to fly for the first time.
Now, all he had to do was somehow confess to Kacchan and ask him to be his boyfriend. Izuku felt nervous. He hoped Kacchan would agree. He knew Kacchan’s feelings for him were only at the level of ‘like’ and not ‘love’ yet, but hopefully they would be able to get there one day. There was nothing in the world more beautiful than the feelings that he was experiencing at this moment.
Izuku took a resolute breath, silently mustering up his determination to ask Kacchan out. He wanted to be able to put a label on their relationship so badly. He wanted to be able to say proudly that Kacchan was his boyfriend, that Kacchan was off-limits.
He listened to Kacchan’s deep breaths as he slept. Izuku reached out to touch the other’s face, his heart squeezing slightly at the dark smudges under Kacchan’s eyes. They hadn’t been there before, and he hadn’t realized that Kacchan had been suffering when he had left to train with All Might previously. Izuku felt guilty. He knew he was the one who had put them there.
When Kacchan had exited the shower, he managed to control his facial expression and not to show his shock, but the moment he appeared without what he assumed was foundation covering the dark smudges, Izuku had instantly known what had happened.
He never wanted to make Kacchan experience sleepless nights again. As his fingertips touched the slightly chill face, gently brushing the dark smudges, Kacchan’s eyelashes fluttered slightly.
Izuku quickly withdrew his hand, scared of waking the other up. Thankfully, he fell back into sleep as he nuzzled into Izuku’s chest, seeking warmth.
The sudden wave of love and adoration crashed over Izuku’s heart as he took in the subconscious reaction that Kacchan had around him. Izuku basked in the endorphins that were rushing through him.
He listened to Kacchan’s breathing like he was counting sheep. He fell asleep with Kacchan’s peaceful face imprinted in his mind, giving him happy dreams for the first time in a long, long while.
Just kidding haha! Things have barely started. Izuku and Kacchan still aren't on the same page! These boys are killing meeeee.