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Soft Snow

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White lights flashed past constantly, second after second, momentarily disturbing the darkness of the quiet gravel road and the hum of the car engines. The wind was mildly strong, sweeping through the trees, against the vehicles and into one open window. Ashes from a lighted tip of a cigarette got caught in the invisible force and disappeared into the midnight.

Turning left from the road, the car descended down into an empty road, silence pressing against it. Inside, sat a man, his soft long black hair wildly blowing about an aristocratic face that looked fleetingly akin to a beautiful woman’s as street lamps illuminated it. Pouted lips held a cigarette loosely as smoke streamed out from an open corner.

A tune disrupted the peace rudely and brown eyes flickered down towards the cause; a device, its screen lit up, vibrating noisily around the cup compartment. Slowly, the man reached out for it with his slim hand, fingers too short to be called long but just enough to not be stubby wrapped around the cold cell phone.

The thumb swiped across the screen and the tune stopped immediately with a beep. He brought it to his right ear and was rewarded with a greeting which he returned, “Gacchan,” His lips formed a thin line as he listened intently to the other line. “Mm… I’m on the road.” A pause. “Well, you’re right.” He took a puff from his cigarette. “Ah… Are you sure?” A chuckle. “I’ll be there soon.” Then, “See you, Gacchan.”

With another swipe across the screen, he settled the phone back down. He took another puff from his cigarette then flicked it out of his car window, closing it afterwards. The engine roared as his car sped down the road faster and he cranked his air-conditioner up.

It was five past one in the morning when the car pulled up and parked in front of a dark house. The lights on either end of the vehicle flashed once accompanied by a short but strong beep.

Gravel crunched beneath the heeled boots the man wore as he walked up to the door. A second later, the door opened and he was greeted with a smile and a warm hug.

“Hyde,” A deep voice drawled.

Hyde breathed in deeply and smiled indulgently as he returned the hug, almost sagging against the other from exhaustion. However, he stood upright once again when he was let go of and gratefully entered the other’s abode. He took a few steps, took out his shoes, and stood still. “Gacchan?” A hand touched his own and immediately, they intertwined them, and he was led down the hallway and into the only properly (used very loosely) lit room – albeit dimly by candles – at the moment; the bedroom.

“Ah, still can’t see anything.” Hyde complained.

Gackt chuckled. “The bath's ready.”

“Hm,” A quick unceremonious dumping of a whole bottle of bubble bath and rustling of clothes later, Hyde lowered himself down into the whirlpool bath, sighing contentedly as the warm water and strategically placed jets soothed his tired body while the aromatic bubbles flowed around him, wafting into his nose and further relaxed him. He settled himself, lying on the head rest, and closed his eyes; allowing peace to take over him.

It was with familiarised and habitual ease that Gackt slipped into the room many minutes later, taking quiet steps along the marbled floor. The dim candlelights flickered and a steady trickle of water flowing from the fountain and gentle bubbles from the whirlpool bath.

Brown hair cascaded down and out the bath, gleaming, softly contrasting against the pale aristocrat face it surrounded. Hyde's breaths were even and deep, his eyes closed and lips slightly parted; it was a sight that never failed to bring a gentle smile onto Gackt's lips. He gazed, intimately, from the couch in which he sat, adoration almost visible from its intensity.

A soft sigh let loose from cherry chapped lips and Hyde stirred, his eyes fluttering open. Brown eyes met with fake blue and a wash of warmth ran through his body like chocolate honey in spite of the heated water he was already submerged in. Hyde mirrored the smile directed at him then it turned into a playful smirk. "Gacchan, I'm not a piece of art to be stared at."

Gackt's chuckle reverberated around the room, warm and low. "You are my moon; it's inevitable to stare." He stood up, holding a towel as he walked his way over to the bath. "And I had to make sure you don't drown. Are you done?"

Hyde blinked slowly. "...yes."

Gackt set down the towel and took a final step towards the bath. Preciously, he hugged Hyde, getting drenched in the process, and pulled the other man into his body into an embrace. Soon, a not-so-enthused Hyde was being carried like a princess, a towel covering his body.

"You never fail to make me feel so fragile, Gacchan." Hyde muttered unhappily.

Pausing in his steps, Gackt stole a look at Hyde's face. "You are precious not fragile, Hyde."

"...difference..." Hyde mumbled.


The white silk blanket rustled around as the occupant of the bed buried beneath it sluggishly shuffled to the right, then the left before it was pushed away to reveal a very sleepy Hyde. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times as his mind refused to accept that it must observe the world once again and be away from the land of dreams.

Brown eyes, half-hidden, scanned the room lazily and stopped abruptly. Hyde felt his face freeze and his eyes widen in reflex as he looked at the spectacle in front of him. His nostrils flared and he hesitated once before, upon being caught looking, he spoke, “What the hell.”

Even from the bed, Hyde could hear the low and breathy chuckle freely rumbling from the other’s chest. Still, he found that he couldn’t appreciate it as much as he usually did; the abandonment of any pretence. He shook his head, messing up his long black hair even more against the pillow he was propped on, and sighed. “I hope you don’t expect us to roleplay, Gacchan.”

This time, Gackt didn’t chuckle but smiled widely, hitching up the red skirt he wore which was obscenely short and barely covered the straps holding the wide diamond black fishnet pantyhose he wore. His hand came to a rest on the gothic corset he wore which was adorned with a mix of thin and thick chains. “It is not as bad as you make it sound. How do I look?”

Hyde raised his eyebrows and licked the corner of his lips, an amused smile playing on his face. “Gorgeous,” He said with a hint of laughter.

“Gorgeous enough, perhaps, to roleplay?”


Gackt made a noise from the back of his throat.

“What?” Hyde asked flatly. “I refuse to have you top while dressed as a woman.”

“But I look gorgeous, don’t I?”

Brown eyes pierced into fake blues and then, “Always,” was said seriously.

Pleased, Gackt turned around and started stripping.

Hyde narrowed his eyes and pulled the silk blanket up to cover himself more in a protective manner. His face turned apprehensive but he kept silent as he waited for the other to explain. That, and, he found even he couldn’t take his eyes off the view before him. Indeed, he greedily roamed his eyes all over the smooth expanse of strong and taut skin being bared to him, a feeling akin to jealousy kindling inside him like the crackling of newly lit fireplace.

It was a ridiculously good view and if Hyde were any less of a man, he surmised he probably would have drooled or left his mouth open as the candle lights flickered and sensually caressed the now fully naked body in front of him. But embarrassingly, he realised it still took him a while to recognise the fact that he was no longer looking at the other’s backside. He swallowed as his eyes trailed upwards to look into the laughing blue eyes watching him back.

“Like what you see?” Gackt murmured.

Hyde inhaled, a smile dancing on his lips as his eyes sparkled. “Always” He repeated breathily.

Slowly, predatorily, the gorgeous man walked towards the bed. Upon reaching the foot of the bed though, he was stopped by an upheld hand.

“What are you doing, Gacchan?”

Gackt stayed silent for a while, simply opting to look back, displaying himself shamelessly. “Why are you always so against it?”

“Why are you always after sex?”

Gackt grimaced. “Surely that’s not my only reason.” He grumbled slightly as he turned around and walked back to a black couch placed just beside his long rectangular waterfall and fountain pool. He started dressing himself with the clothes neatly folded on top of the couch.

“I wouldn’t know,” Hyde replied wearily. The conversation was not a new one and very draining to hold. He had avoided being at the other’s home in a while, using his work as an excuse to decline invites up until last night, exactly because of the other’s tendency to approach highly inappropriate and awkward situations with a certain sense of normalcy that Hyde found extremely disconcerting.

Gackt turned back around, this time fully clothed but with articles so tight-fitting, they left nothing to the imagination anyway. “I like you.” He said in such a way that it was obvious he had repeated the words multiple times already. “When will you ever take my words seriously?”

“Maybe when you mean them.” Hyde shot back like he always did; this was so very routine.

“I always do.” Gackt set his face and went to sit on the edge of his silk bed. “You know I do. What’s stopping you?” He asked innocently – too innocently in fact for the sudden question.

The atmosphere changed immediately and Hyde stiffened considerably. “Why…” He licked his lips, mouth dry. “Do you think I’m in denial?”

Gackt made an impatient noise. “What else?” He laid his hand on the silk blanket and pinched some of the material between his forefinger and thumb, almost broodily. “It’s been a good few years that I let you do things I wouldn’t normally allow others.” Gackt threw his head back and started up at the ceiling. “Not that you knew at first.” He mused as he lowered his head to stare at the fountain closest to him. “I know you felt it midway through Moon Child.” He continued, words firm as if stating fact. “Maybe you think I’m so loose to actually want you in my bed just for sex?”

The last word was spat out and Hyde shifted in his position uncomfortably. He blinked and lowered his head, biting his lower lip as he was run through by something akin to guilt.


‘Ah, no good.’ Hyde thought as his name was spoken so seriously by the other. He looked up to acknowledge the call and was instantly met by a soul-searching gaze.

“I treat my friends preciously.” Gackt murmured. “You above all.”

“Of course, You.” Hyde blurted out then his eyes widened and he clasped his hand to his mouth. He watched wordlessly as the other closed their eyes.

Gackt inhaled deeply, as if calling for calm, and in a way he was from the aromatic candles and roses set up around the room. Slowly, he opened his eyes to an uncharacteristic image of Hyde berating himself silently. He nodded and breathed out. “So is that what it’s all about?” His voice rumbled deeply and had a certain amount of control that most would associate with him but was so very unusual in present company.

Despite the many reasons and excuses running through his mind, Hyde kept his lips sealed; deciding it was best to not say anything at all.

“I didn’t know you were such a jealous type, Hyde.” Gackt murmured, his tone less controlled and hinting at some spite. When no reply was forthcoming, he continued on, voice much rougher, “Did you think that I’d use you as a passing toy whilst I have You just blindly by my side?” Gackt inhaled deeply once more and licked his lips. “Just what do you think of me?” He said quietly, the calm control he was known for present in his voice again.


“After years,” The word was spat and Hyde winced. “Our trust in each other is worth a damn.”

Gacchan,” Hyde called out imploringly. “Stop.” He slipped out of the bed and cautiously approached the high strung man, stopping just a step before the other’s personal space. “I’m sorry,” Hyde smoothed out his hair with a free hand. “It isn’t that I don’t trust you,”

Gackt remained stony.

“Of course, I trust you but I… There's so much I don't know.” Hyde disclosed. “I don't want to assume.”

“I’m single.” Gackt stated blandly.

“Ah...” Hyde cast his eyes around the room.

“And you?”


Gackt reached out and pulled Hyde by his hand. “Are you?” He repeated. “What of Tetsu? Ken? Kaz?”

Hyde snapped his head back to look at Gackt in the eyes, incredulous. “What the?”

“Two can play at jealously.” Gackt remarked quietly. “Maybe I should add Daigo to the list?”

“Gachan!” Hyde exclaimed, almost breathless with shock. “None of them,”

“Great,” Gackt sighed contentedly, his shoulder relaxing substantially. His hand still held Hyde’s and he kept the contact, relishing in it but made no other moves.

Hyde’s lips twitched. He felt mildly happy at Gackt’s over pouring sincerity. It was a few long minutes of quiet observation he enjoyed until he noticed Gackt was sliding down the bed at a leisurely pace. Hyde reached his free hand out to catch the other but stopped midway, disbelieving, as the other was now settled quite comfortably on the floor, kneeling. His breath hitched as signature blue contacts hiding warm brown eyes underneath locked onto his eyes.

“Believe me, I like you, Hyde.” Gackt declared. “You’re the only man I’ve fallen so seriously for.” He confessed.

Hyde stood still, stunned, and then, slowly, unsteadily, he lowered himself down to kneel in front of the other. “Gacchan,” His voice was low, almost flat.

Gackt’s forehead furrowed and he raised his free hand to touch Hyde’s face stopping when the other flinched before carefully touching a warm smooth cheek. He reached his thumb out and caressed Hyde’s lower lip, feeling it trembling underneath his touch. “Why, Hyde?” Shifting forward on his knees, he let go of the other’s hand and caught Hyde in a one-armed embrace. “Hyde, Hyde,” He pulled back from the hug and held the beautiful singer’s face in his two hands, using the pad of this thumbs to caress smooth cheeks, getting a wide-eyed look from the intimate gesture. “Hyde, Hyde,” Gackt murmured, almost like a prayer.

“Nothing,” His voice was steady despite his eyes having a faraway look.

“Hyde,” Gackt leaned forward, forehead almost touching with the other’s. “Hey,” He waited until Hyde finally focused on him. “What’s wrong?”

“I accept it but it’s a sin.” Hyde was talking seriously now, his eyes determined. “I’ve been contemplating it for a long time. Religion, faith, the justice of the world,” He shook his head. “The answer always comes out as it being wrong.”

Gackt opened his mouth, looking disconcerted, but shut it again as the singer raised a hand.

“No, I get it. It’s not wrong. But don’t you see? I can’t help thinking it’s a sin.” Hyde pressed a finger to his lower lip. “Almost everything I’m attracted to is being related to sin or hell by the world.”

“What are you saying really?”

Hyde took Gackt’s wrists and pulled them down and away from his face. “Explaining what you’re getting into.”

“And what do you think I’ll say?”

“Hm,” Hyde made a noise, annoyed. “You'll think about it?”

“Never,” Gackt disagreed. “All I'm hearing are the reasons why I like you.” He had a moment before Hyde unceremoniously leaned onto him and he swiftly changed his position to hold the singer carefully in his arms. It was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable and as the minutes ticked on, he gazed at Hyde’s half-lidded eyes and slack face, wondering at the man’s beauty.

Half an hour may have passed or maybe even an hour before Hyde stirred. “Ah, really.”


“I’m not a woman.” Hyde grumbled.

Gackt chuckled, face alight, a smile playing on his lips. “I know.”

“Do you?” Hyde grouched. “Most need convincing.”

“I know.” Gackt repeated seriously. “That’s why I want you.”

Hyde jerked up and away from the other’s warm embrace to hold the gaze of blue. “I never knew you were gay.”

“No,” Gackt affirmed. “You better not or I’d be hiding it badly.”

“Since when?”

“Did I know, you mean?” Gackt expounded the question. “Since before I started a career in music.”


“My image is a mask. I control my every action, word, everything.” Gackt trailed his fingers up Hyde’s hand to his forearm and held on. “But with my sexuality, I try to be as vague as I can. You see, while I don’t want to admit I’m gay, I don’t want people to think I’m completely against men.”

Hyde nodded languidly. “Ah, interesting.”

“Besides, you’re asking that now?” Gackt pulled the forearm in his grip until Hyde was almost settled back on him whilst still having a clear view of each other’s faces.

Hyde shrugged.

“Seriously, Hyde, why did you sleep with me before?”

Hyde grinned. “You’re asking that now?” He laughed. “You’re gorgeous besides I wanted to get to know the truth about Magnum.”

Gackt shook his head. “Now I know what I am to you.”

“Gacchan,” Hyde’s voice was soothing; tilting and warm. “You know that’s not it.”

“Maybe, but tell me." Gackt examined Hyde’s face.

“You had a good grasp of me before we met, didn’t you?” Hyde smiled softly. “You understood me and you continue to do it so well.”

Gackt’s hand slid down the singer’s forearm until he felt a smooth palm and calloused fingers. Unhurriedly, he brought the secured hand towards his chest and, ignoring the initial resistance, settled it above his heart. “I really like you, Hyde.”

Hyde breathed in deeply and let the air out slowly, eyes warm. “I know,”

A startled laugh left Gackt. “Are you really not going to say it back to me?”

“Who knows?” Hyde grinned cheekily.

“Ah, don’t tease.” Gackt murmured. He lifted the hand in his grasp and placed a chaste kiss on the palm. “My moon.”

“Are you my sun then?” Hyde's tone was playful as he played with Gackt's hair.

Gackt's eyes turned serious. "Always."