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No legacy is so rich as honesty

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Alexander needed this meeting to hurry up and end, he needed Jefferson to stop talking and he needed Washington to stop looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to start arguing against whatever idiocy was spewing from Jefferson. He hadn’t slept in over a week, his partners tried their hardest to make him, but he had so much work to do and it was all building up around him, he felt suffocated by his work which was unusual considering how much he loved his job.

 

“OK, thank you ladies and gentleman, Hamilton could you stay behind the rest of you are dismissed, good day.” With that everyone left the room leaving only Washington and Alexander.

 

“Son, are you feeling OK?” Washington asked, eyes filled with concern. Alexander so very nearly let out a whine, he didn’t want to be in here, he just wanted to go back to his office and hide away until the day was over. After taking a moment to think of a response he got the best idea, he knew John and Lafayette were working in the office all day and Hercules was working in his shop so their apartment was free. He knew he shouldn’t, especially since there was work to be done, but he couldn’t resist the opportunity, hell he could feel guilty about it later.

 

“Actually, sir,” Alexander started in a purposely small voice, “I don’t feel too great.” Washington looked over him once before nodding to himself. God, Alexander hoped he would get sent home and that was new considering that he hardly ever left work early, no he tended to stay later than what was expected of him - before he got into a relationship he would sometimes just sleep in his office.

 

“Go home Alexander, come back when you’re feeling well. Don’t worry about your work, heaven knows you’re already months ahead.” Washington said with a chuckle and then looked at him with a smile. Alexander nodded before thanking the man and leaving the room, he went to his office to gather his things and left the building as fast as he could so he could avoid Lafayette and John, though he had no doubt that Washington would tell them he left early.

 

After what felt like too long a journey in an Uber he was finally home and rushing up the stairs to his apartment. Once he was in Alexander went into their walk in closet and rooted through a few things until he found a suitcase which the others respected and never looked in, mainly because they thought it was things from his childhood. Little did they know that actually it was filled with Little things, things he was deeply embarrassed of and hoped his partners never found out about.

 

The things in the plain black suitcase were things like bottles, diapers, which Alexander had yet to try, stuffed toys, a soft blanket that he was very attached to, quite a lot of pacifiers, sippy cups and bottles, onesies and normal pyjamas, some books for little kids, a few coloring books, he also had some hard toys such as; alphabet bricks, Lego, a few cars and dinosaur toys, there were also some extra soft socks in there as they were the only ones he’d wear when little. It wasn’t much, but it was his and when he was in his little space it was comfortable.

 

He hurried to take off his work clothes as he could feel himself slipping into his little space and slipped on one of his onesies, a hedgehog one that felt soft on his skin, picked up a pacifier and grabbed his stuffed elephant which he had called Popcorn. With that he made his way into the living room, thankful he didn’t have to lock himself away, and let out a happy cheer when he saw Dora the Explorer was on. By the time the first episode was finished Alexander was nowhere to be found, instead Little Alex was freely sat on the sofa talking softly with Popcorn whilst watching and occasionally singing along to Dora.

 

Alex was so absorbed in watching the cartoon that he never heard the door open then close, he didn’t hear the footsteps that came into the living room and he certainly didn’t notice that one of his three boyfriends stood in the doorway wearing a confused, but slightly fond, look. Alexander let out a small whine, he wanted a drink, but it was difficult to do when he was so little, he went to tell Popcorn about his struggle but froze as he saw Hercules out of the corner of his eye. Hercules, who had been watching Alexander carefully, noticed the exact moment his boyfriend noticed him and moved into the room, squatting down so he was level with Alexander and to look less intimidating than he would if he was looming over the obviously terrified man.

 

“Hey Alexander, it’s alright. Just breathe with me for a moment, just breathe, that’s it. In and out.” This went on for a few more minutes with Hercules going through the routine he’d memorised years ago when he first found out Alexander suffered with panic attacks. Once Alexander was breathing properly, he let out a sad, pitiful whine and began to shift in his place as Hercules tried to figure out what to do.

 

“Listen sweetheart, I’m not mad, but do you think you could tell me what’s going on?” This caused Alexander to whine again, he was regretting taking his pacifier out in favour of talking to Popcorn. Popcorn was being no help instead just telling Alex to tell Hercules and that Hercules said he wouldn’t get mad, this made Alex nod his head bravely before turning to Hercules.

 

“Promise?” Alex said in an unfamiliar soft voice, one that Hercules can’t recall ever hearing from the usually loud and energetic man. He was also surprised when Alex lifted his pinky finger up towards him. Smiling softly Hercules wrapped his finger around Alex’s whilst saying “I promise.”

 

Summoning all his bravery, Alex leaned forward shakily and picked up his phone much to Hercules’ confusion. After a few minutes of silence Alex slowly passed his phone to the man in front of him, who took it and looked down at a Tumblr page.

 

Alex, little age 1 - 2. Was the first thing that he read, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he scrolled down the Tumblr page. It took him a few minutes before he started to get an understanding of what was happening and even then he was confused, not because of anything Alexander had done, just about how he, Lafayette and John would go about it.

If Hercules was being honest, he wouldn’t have a problem with Alexander being in little space, in fact, he thought it was rather cute but that was a topic for another time. With that Hercules turned his attention back to the little boy sat in front of him, who was nervously sucking on his thumb.

 

“Alexander, there is nothing to be ashamed about, OK? I’m fine with it, I know Laf and John will also be fine with this because we love you very much, yeah?” Hercules said softly, startled slightly when tears filled the younger man's eyes and began to trickle down his face.

 

“Hey, none of that now, come on. Don’t cry, that’s it.” He said as he sat on the sofa and brought Alexander onto his lap, running his fingers through his hair as Alexander rested his head on the taller mans shoulder.

 

“Love you too.” Alex smiled at Hercules causing the other man to smile and press a kiss to Alex’s forehead. Alex giggled in response.

 

“Alexander-” Hercules began, but was cut off by the aggressive shaking of the others head as he sat up on his lap. “Alex! Not ‘sander!” His name was too hard to say and he didn’t like having the same name in little space. “Alex.” He repeated once more.

 

“Sorry, Alex. So are you going to introduce me to your friend?” The way Alex sat up straighter and the light that appeared in his eyes did not go unnoticed by Hercules, but he kept quiet, only grinning to himself, as Alex leaned over to pick up the elephant stuffie.

 

“This is Popcorn!” He all but shouted at Hercules, who gently warned him about indoor voices before turning his attention to the elephant who Alex had for some reason unknown to Hercules called Popcorn.

 

“Well Popcorn it is very nice to meet you, I’m Hercules.” With that Alex had started babbling away, some coherent and some that Hercules couldn’t understand but agreed with anyway. The two of them began playing with the stuffed animal and Alex felt himself slip further into his little space now that he had someone with him.

 

“Bottle.” Alex whined softly sometime later, his fingers finding their way into his mouth once more. Hercules gave Alex a sharp look and the little immediately removed his fingers, a small smile on his face.

 

Alex told the other man in very few words were to find the bottles and Hercules was shocked to see the small collection of things Alexander had kept hidden away. He shook his head, deciding to dwell on that later because Alex had started whining again. Quickly, he made the little a bottle and went back into the living room where he lifted Alex onto his lap, titling him back slightly before placing the teat between his lips where Alex greedily drunk the milk.  

 

After Alex was fed and burped, he began to feel tired, Hercules smiled fondly when the little slumped against his side. He turned the TV back onto one of the animated cartoon channels that Alex had on before and settled down with his arm securely around Alex.

 

“Ah, no fingers, here you go.” Hercules placed the pacifier into Alex’s mouth when he saw that he had begun sucking lightly on his thumb. Alex happily took the pacifier and slowly the gentle sucking lulled him to sleep.

 

With a smile, Hercules picked up Alex and carried him into their shared bedroom, laid him down gently on the bed and tucked him in before pressing a kiss softly to his forehead. With that Hercules left the room just as the front door opened to reveal the worried faces of their boyfriends, John and Lafayette.

 

“Is Alexander feeling ok?”

“Mon chéri, ne se sent-il pas bien?”

 

Hercules quickly shushed the pair so they wouldn’t wake Alex and ushered them both into the kitchen, wondering how the hell he was supposed to go about this conversation. He sighed as he sat down at the kitchen table aware that his two partners were looking at him in concern as they took their own seats.

 

“Right, so, you clearly know Alexander came home early from work-”

 

“Oui, George said he was sick, but Alexander does not leave work because he’s sick.” Lafayette interrupted, he quickly gave Hercules an apologetic look and gestured for him to continue which he did.

 

“Well, I came home early too because my last client cancelled on me anyway, when I came home, I heard the TV on and figured one of you two were home but when I went into the living room Alexander was in there and well, erm…” This is where he trailed off, not sure if Alexander would be comfortable with him telling the others but knowing Alexander would just ignore it if he didn’t. With another sigh, he told them what he knew so far, “he was watching Dora wearing this adorable onesie and talking to a stuffed elephant, when he saw me he froze up so I spoke to him and he cried a bit, but then I got him settled and we played for a while before he asked for a bottle, so I fed him and now he’s napping. He showed me a Tumblr page, it’s something called little space and when he’s in it he’s a two year old.”

 

John and Lafayette just stared at Hercules with thoughtful looks on their faces. John had heard of little space, but didn’t know much about it, the things he did know though had him entertaining the idea, he definitely wouldn’t be opposed to it.

 

Lafayette had no idea what ‘Little Space’ was but he got the general gist of it with the small description that Hercules had provided. He thought that this was a good thing for Alexander to have a coping mechanism and if he got to look after his boyfriend then he wasn’t about to complain.

 

“I’m for it! I just wish he hadn’t kept it hidden from us.” John smiled sadly, Lafayette nodded along with his words before adding himself, “I too am fine with it, though I must confess I know nothing of this lifestyle. Perhaps whilst Alexander naps, we could research?”

 

So that’s how they spent the next hour or so, all huddled around Lafayette’s laptop researching different aspects of the lifestyle and somehow they ended up on toy stores. “Lafayette, let’s just see what Little Alex is like first, some of these toys might be too old for him.” Hercules repeated something along this line every couple of pages when Lafayette wanted to put most of the toys in the basket.

They hadn’t realised how much time had passed until they heard a cough come from the doorway, all three heads shot up and looked at Alexander. Alexander was now dressed in sweats and one of Hercules shirts, looking the definition of mortified. John pulled out the chair next to him, which Alexander took with much hesitation.

 

“So, do you guys want me to leave now?” Alexander asked in a small voice, he didn’t particularly want to be big right now, but upon waking up he had worked himself into a panic and decided that he would just get this over with. His boyfriends looked confused at Alexander’s question and it was Hercules that spoke up first.

 

“Love, I told you before that I wasn’t mad. I’m sorry for telling Laf and John but everyone here is supportive of it, I promise. If you’d let us then we would all really like to be a part of this aspect of your life.” Hercules smiled encouragingly whilst reaching across the table to take Alexander’s hand in his. He could see that the man was slipping, forcing himself to be big. Lafayette smiled softly at the smaller man and John wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

 

Alexander felt his eyes fill up with tears for the second time in as many hours, he was definitely slipping. “I don’t know what to say, why are you guys so supportive?” His voice cracked halfway through the sentence but he paid it no mind.

 

“Because we love you and we care about you. If this is something that makes you happy then we are more than happy to at least give it a try. Will you let us be part of it?” John asked with a grin. Alexander had grown tired of dealing with big emotions, giving up on trying to not slip, so he just nodded and rested his head on John’s shoulder.

 

“Come on little dude, how about we all go watch a movie?” Hercules asked, tone cheerful and a smile on his face. Alex nodded and made grabby hands towards the taller man without hesitation, Hercules happily complied and picked him up before carrying him to the sofa, both of the other men following behind with fond smiles.

 

They all settled on the sofa, Alex was very adamant about watching How to Train Your Dragon which he had already recorded on the TV. As soon as Toothless came onto the screen Alex began to bounce slightly, letting out excited noises that were incoherent to the three adults but they nodded and smiled along with Alex.

 

Halfway through the movie Alex began to squirm uncomfortably on Hercules lap and it took the older man a few moments to feel the wetness soak through Alex’s sweats. Alex’s face was red and there were tears in his eyes, but Hercules leaned forward and whispered so the others couldn’t hear, “it’s alright little man, let’s go get you changed out of these big boy clothes, yeah?” Alex nodded shyly at Hercules, who picked him up, trying not to grimace at the wetness, and glanced at John and Lafayette who were looking at him expectedly but he just shook his head and mouthed later before taking Alex into their room, setting him on the bed.

He recalled seeing some diapers in the suitcase earlier so made quick work of grabbing them, his eyebrows rose and a smile appeared on his face when he saw a toothless onesie in the suitcase, he grabbed that as well and went back over to Alex who was babbling to Popcorn, who was left in the bedroom after his nap. Alex to Hercules surprise was changed without much fussing and they were both fresh once more, Hercules having changed his pants into sweats.

 

Once they were back in the living room, Alex was placed on Lafayette’s lap whilst Hercules tried to go into the kitchen to make dinner, but Little Alex was having none of it as he clung to him. “No, stay!” He repeated over and over, Hercules managed to pry Alex’s fingers off of his shirt and crouched down so he could talk to the little who was sniffing quietly whilst hiding his face in Popcorns fur.

 

“Alex, sweetheart, I’m gonna be in the kitchen. You can see me from here but just stay with Laf and John, you can finish watching the movie and show them your super cool onesie!” That had Alex perking up slightly, he quietly whispered “OK”, and watched sadly as Hercules left the room but didn’t complain as he could still see him.

 

He turned his attention to Lafayette and John, who began pulling funny faces at him causing him to giggle. Alex leaned forward, causing Lafayette to tighten his grip, and captured Johns face in between his hands only to trace the many freckles that were scattered around his face. Alex giggled again causing John to smile.

 

“Pretty.” Alex declared before patting John’s cheeks softly and turning his attention to Lafayette, whom he looked at with wide, doe eyes. He started by playing with Lafayette’s hair, giggling softly to himself as it bounced, then touched man's beard though he quickly pulled his fingers away because it was itchy, but then he couldn’t help himself as he stroked his cheek against the beard and let out another series of giggles, no tears anywhere to be seen. “Itchy!” He said with a clap causing Lafayette and John to laugh.

 

Alex pulled his hood up on the onesie and let out a roar which both adults pretended to jump at, “Oh no! The scary dragon has taken our petit Alex!” This caused Alex to let out a giggle, he pulled his hood down and shouted, “It’s me, silly!” Lafayette let out a sigh of relief and that’s how the three of them played until Hercules called them for dinner which went easily enough with John feeding Alex as well as himself.

 

When they were all finished, John taking slightly longer than usual, Hercules picked up Alex and lead him to the bedroom where he checked, and changed, the diaper. Once that was done, Hercules tucked Alex into bed and got in next to him.

 

Hercules felt a hand on his chest and the little shake that followed it. “Popcorn.” Alex whispered, Hercules nodded and picked up his phone texting the group chat they all had asking one of the two to bring Popcorn in once they had finished getting ready for bed. After a few minutes everyone was in bed and Alex was happily laying in the middle next to John, cuddled up with Hercules and Popcorn. It had been a good but long day, everyone was asleep within ten minutes of climbing into bed.