Chapter 1: Heiji and Hakuba p1
It all started with a question from one Hattori Heiji.
"Oi, Kudou, Kuroba, are ya' two...?" The Osakan gestures at the two, making a weird face, "together or somethin'?", he finally asks.
He receives two identical blinks.
"Of course not." Says Kudou.
...while sitting on Kuroba's lap.
Heiji crosses his arms and squints at them, as if determining if what his best friend is saying is the truth or not. "Really?"
"Really." Kuroba confirms.
With an arm wrapped by Kudou's middle to keep him from falling off.
Heiji's eye does an involuntary twitch. He'd understand (poor, poor) Kudou being dense but. But. Kuroba? No way. The guy is the embodiment of a cross between an insufferable moron who's an adrenaline junkie and a gentleman. There is no way Kudou won't be charmed, at the least. And there's also no way Kuroba would take so long to recognize emotions and feelings.
But then again, they may just be trying to mess with him. Heiji would bet his favorite baseball cap that Kuroba's insanity is contagious.
Before he could say anything else, he sees Kudou looking at his (dart) watch and saying "Lunch is over, let's go." out loud and Kuroba nods, lets him move off of his lap so they could stand up. Heiji watches with (another) eye twitch as Kuroba drapes an arm around Kudou's shoulders, chirps a "Seeya later, Hattori!", and proceeds to steer the Heisei Holmes to their next class.
Hakuba sees Heiji later with a gaze intent on Kuroba and Kudou, and with a slightly raised eyebrow, the half-brit says "I'm not going to ask."
Still, not asking didn't mean Hakuba can't be in the same situation as Heiji.
Well, almost the same.
Because hah, there's no way a detective would be together with his main suspect of the identity behind Kaitou KID. There is no way—
"What did I say about putting so much sugar again in your coffee, Kaito?" Hakuba heard Kudou scold Kuroba, who pouted childishly but didn't stop mixing the five packets of sugar he put in his cup with the coffee.
(Hakuba had invited Kudou to go through some cold cases in a cafe. Kuroba came in uninvited, but that's not really something unexpected at this point.)
"I don't understand how you could drink battery acid with no sugar every day, Shin-chan!" Kuroba whined back, throwing a dirty look at Kudou who held his coffee protectively towards his chest. "And I don't understand how you could drink that...that sweet thing in two gulps. You're going to have diabetes!" Kudou said as he gave Kuroba's drink the same disgusted look.
Strange, Hakuba thought, I feel like a third wheel.
'Maybe you really are.' Something seemed to whisper at the back of his mind. (Hakuba proceeds to ignore it.)
And yet he's the one who invited Kudou.
He then decided to direct an irritated glare (not like he's irritated already, anyway) at the menace sitting beside his fellow detective. "Stop distracting Kudou-kun, Kuroba. What are you doing here, anyway? I invited Kudou, not Kudou and Kuroba." He said with a scowl.
Hakuba heard Kudou snort by the side, then a "No, Kaito—", before smoke filled his vision.
"I knew neon pink would fit you the best, Hakuba!" Kuroba declared once the smoke cleared, a grin only a lunatic could manage spread wide across his face.
Kudou was rubbing his temples, long-suffering.
Hakuba took moment to look up to his pink bangs, close his eyes, then with a deep, deep breath, he counted from one to ten. He's a responsible detective. A calm, responsible detective who won't get angry over such simple tricks—
"So would the dress~" Kuroba said, cheerfully.
His eyes snapped open in rage, just realizing the feeling of air between his legs as he almost screamed, a "Why you little—" coming out from his lips before he lunged after Kuroba who cackled like a maniac, jumping off of his chair (thank God they're by a booth outside, not inside the cafe) and running around in circles with the half-brit chasing after him.
"Why is this my life?" Kudou asked no one in particular.
(No one seemed to want to reply.)
"Ah!" Kuroba suddenly exclaimed, disappearing from a few tables away where Hakuba was about to tackle him, only to appear beside Kudou, leaving Hakuba seething and glaring.
"I have to go help mom with some stuff back at home! I'll seeya later, Shin-chan!" He chirped while grinning.
Then, he leaned down to give a peck on Kudou's cheek.
Hakuba was about to shout in protest, because dammit Kuroba where are my clothes, but was instead shocked to silence.
Did that just happened?
"Okay. Say hello to Chikage-san for me, Kaito." Kudou replied with a wave, as if he just did not get kissed by Kuroba on the cheek.
"Will do~!" Was the cheerful reply, before the magician promptly disappeared.
Hakuba was still gaping in shock.
It took a few moments before Kudou finally noticed that Hakuba still hasn't come back to their table, looking up from having his nose buried in a case file to wave at Hakuba.
"Hakuba-san? I have your clothes here. Kaito was merciful enough today, though I have no idea what to do with your hair..." Shinichi tells him, a concerned look on his face.
"Huh?" Hakuba speaks eloquently after a few minutes of silence. Then, he dumbly nods as he takes his clothes back to change in the cafe's restroom, not before mumbling a "Thank you." to Shinichi.
As he changes, he continues mumbling to himself.
"I should text Baaya to buy some bleach later. Lots of it. Would ten liters work? Huh. Probably not. Make that twenty, then. Maybe a hit to the head too, or call a hypnotist so I could forget that. And..." He continued mumbling things for the whole duration of him changing and planned to burn the dress he was put into before he went back to his and Kudou's table, clearly satisfied with his plans for the rest of the day after they go through the case files.
Shinichi wisely didn't comment at Hakuba's intense (and slightly crazed) look when he came back, sending a quick text to Kaito.
K.S: I think you broke him.
Chapter 2: Hattori and Hakuba p2
Hakuba buys 10 more bottles of bleach and Hattori empathizes with Mouri Ran.
A lil chapter I wrote at school before it disappears from my mind! I hope you guys like it ;Q; )
Hakuba and Heiji again bc I kind of...like bullying them oops....
Hakuba Saguru liked to think he has things figured out.
Academics, murder cases, cold cases, time ...he believes he could figure those out by himself easily, so as long as he put his mind to it, work with an open mind, and have a system on which to do which.
"Haku-chan~!", said a very, very irritating voice.
Hakuba Saguru also believes he has Kaitou KID's civilian identity figured out.
"Have you seen Shin-chan? I can't find him!" His main suspect whines, wilting at his spot as their classmates chuckled at his dramatics.
Hakuba couldn't help but pinch the bridge of his nose, Kuroba's mere presence alone testing his patience. Why is he asking him where Kudou is? And why can't he find him himself? Isn't he great at that?
He contemplated telling Kuroba off.
But his brain immediately told him ABORT ABORT ABORT , war flashbacks appearing in his vision.
Yeah, no . He won't tell Kuroba off, as much as he'd love to. It would do him good to save his mental state by answering his question.
"Stop calling me 'Haku-chan'," He tells him first, "And I've seen Kudou-san go out with Hattori-san earlier. I've heard them talking about lunch...?"
"AH!" Kuroba exclaims in reply, "I gotta stop them! I got Shin-chan's bento right here!" He cries out as he disappears from a foot away from Hakuba only to appear by the classroom's entrance, slamming it open and running out while saying, "Shin-chan~~! Your bento made by yours truly is right here!"
(No one bothered to asked how he teleported.)
Meanwhile, Hakuba is having war flashbacks of the 'cafe incident'. (He still hasn't recovered from that, despite everything.)
Bento? Kuroba made a bento for Kudou ? As in a homemade bento? For Kudou? A bento he made by himself ? He never knew he could cook. But. But . A bento for Kudou??? Which he made? By hands? For Kudou? From Kuroba ?????
Hakuba's brain had obviously broke (again). Clearly, twenty bottles of bleach hadn't been enough. He really should have told Baaya to call for a hypnotist, too. And ten additional bottles of bleach.
Oh well , Hakuba's brain thinks in an attempt to save itself, at least he won't see them being all...kissy...smoochy...touchy...whatever it is.
Instead, it would be Hattori.
That thought alone made the whole situation so much better for the poor half-brit.
How he wished to see how the Osakan would react, but he'd very much wouldn't like to see Kuroba kiss Kudou ever again, thank you very much.
Settling down on his seat, Hakuba tried to forget everything that just happened in the duration of five minutes and instead focus on the homework they were given from the previous class.
"Shin-chan!" A voice echoed from the end of the hallway as two heads perked up.
One Hattori Heiji and one Kudou Shinichi paused from making their way towards the cafeteria, waiting for a Kuroba Kaito to catch up to them.
"Shin-chaaaan!" The magician continued to say Kudou's name before he spread his arms out wide, giving a bear hug to the Detective of the East while grinning.
Kudou didn't even complain.
Heiji felt his eye itching to twitch.
"I brought your bento, Shin-chan! Jeez, you keep forgetting!" Kuroba says with a pout, "I even made it specially for you! And yet you go accept Hattori's offer of food?!" He whines, leaving Kudou to sigh.
"I'm just accompanying him to the cafeteria, Kaito." And talk about some cases , he mentally adds, but Shinichi, knowing that Kaito doesn't like him talking about cases, cases and cases all day with fellow detectives, wisely decided to not mention it.
"I haven't accepted any offer of food...yet."
"Here!" Kuroba immediately shoves a bento, wrapped in a blue cloth with the pattern of red bow-ties, in Kudou's hands.
"Thank you, Kaito," Kudou says with a small smile, leaving Kuroba brightly beaming —
"Wait wait wait wait wait," Heiji says before Kuroba could say anything, "Ya' make bentos for Kudo'?"
(Now that he thinks of it, where did that even come from? Kuroba doesn't have a bag on him. Nor did he notice any bumps in the shape of a bento on his person. Just where does he keep his things???)
"Of course I do!" Kuroba chirps in reply. "What would Shin-chan do without my delicious cooking?!"
"Buy takeouts, most likely." Kudou says dryly.
Kuroba lets out an offended gasp, clutching at his chest. "No, Shin-chan! That’s horrible! You can't!"
"Yes I can."
"Are ya' two really sure ya' aren't togetha'?" Heiji asks, eyes twitching. "I mean, yer already actin' like a married couple."
"Hm? What are you talking about, Hattori?" Kuroba chirps, giving Heiji a confused look. (Kudou is giving the same look. With their faces so similar, it's borderline creepy .)
His arms are still around Kudou, too.
Heiji doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. Or both. Preferably both.
Is this how it felt for the poor Neechan when she kept on trying to make him and Kazuha confess to each other? Because it's painful. Very painful.
He suddenly feels very sorry for Neechan.
"I mean,” He says weakly, “Ya' guys seat on each otha's laps and ya' make bentos for Kudou. Heard from tha' bastard that Kuroba kissed ya' on the cheek too, Kudo', even tho he looked like he needed to go to tha' mental hospital. Couples normally does tha', don' they?" Heiji tries to explain.
The detective and the magician gave a considering look at each other before shrugging.
"There were no other seats available that one time, Hattori," Kudou says, completely ignoring the fact that they had a whole school bench to themselves that said one time.
"While I make bentos for Shin-chan because he needs all the nutrition he could get!" Kuroba says, giving a look at Kudou who grumbled and looked away.
"And Hakuba must be hallucinating! Sanity is overrated these days, y'know! And that Haku-bastard's sanity was bound to snap at some point~" Kuroba grins, with a glint in his eyes that makes Heiji want to stay as far away as he can from the lunatic.
"You must be overthinking things, Hattori. Let's go get you lunch now okay? I hope you don't mind Kaito. I promise he won't prank you." Kudou says with a thumbs up.
"B, But Kudou," Heiji tries to speak, but Kudou only shakes his head. "Must be because you're hungry, right? Kaito and I are not like that, Hattori," Kudou says, "So don't hurt yourself thinking, Ha-tto-ri-kun~! Let's go eat!" Kuroba brightly interrupts.
Heiji’s shoulders sag lightly.
He wants to believe it was just because of hunger.
He really, really does.
"....alright." He just mumbles, and tries his best to ignore the fact that Kuroba's hand moved from being around Kudou to rest by his waist.
It was really hard to ignore, but he tried anyway.
It's the thought that counts, right?
Chapter 3: Lunch with your twins
Ran, being the bestest best friend out there in the whole entirety of Japan decides to drag one Kudo Shinichi out for lunch ... only to meet their twins from Ekoda.
peeks out from my cave h- hello it's been ages
this chapter has been sitting around for months and I ... couldn't think of anything to add to it yet, so I divided it to two o)--( I'll .. probably update again in weeks or months time since my writing muse is dead atm so have this for now!! i hope you guys like it T T ) ....
If one were to ask if there are any mortal goddesses in Japan, they'd say there's Mouri Ran.
(Lavender eyes, dark brown hair and a kind smile easily comes into mind.)
Almost everyone in Beika believes she is the Goddess of Wisdom. Or Love.
(Can't forget the Karate.)
She's a force of nature, and is known to be fiercely protective over her loved ones. She has a golden heart, a smile of an angel and (powerful, strong, tough) fists (and legs) of a War God.
(It is known that she could break concrete with her fists. A scary, scary fact.)
She's also a very supportive individual and loves to see her friends and family happy.
And not slaving themselves on things. Or depriving themselves from a nice, relaxing weekend.
Like what her dear, dear best friend, Kudou Shinichi, is doing right now.
" Shiiniiichiiiiiiiii. " Her voice lets out a small growl, making the detective immediately shove the case files (Two, specifically. Or was it five? He can't remember) inside the drawer of his desk, sweat forming around his forehead.
"Y-Yes, Ran...?" Shinichi speaks, scratching the back of his neck as he laughed awkwardly, not meeting her eyes.
"What did I say about working on case files?" Ran reminds sweetly, a sweet sweet smile on her face as she leans against Shinichi's desk.
"T-To not...do them for eight hours straight...?" Shinichi replies weakly.
"Mhm!" Ran says, knuckles gripping on the edge of the desk. Her fingers starts to form dents (over older dents from her, too), making Shinichi gulp. "And what are you doing right now, Shinichi?"
The detective glances up at her for a moment, before he directed his gaze on the floor in shame. "...working on some for the past um..uh.” He looks at his watch for a moment then frowns, “... ten hours," he mumbles, looking exactly like a kicked puppy.
Ran would have 'awwww-ed', because Shinichi looked like he got his favorite toy taken away , and I want to pinch his cheeks so bad , but she refrained. Now is not the time.
Sighing, she loosens her grip on the desk. "It's the weekend, Shinichi, can't you get at least some rest? Or just relax?" She says, giving a very disappointed mother look.
Shinichi had wanted to protest. He really did. But just with that look , it immediately died a horrible horrible death before it even left his lips.
Damnit, Ran isn't even his mother so why is he feeling so guilty?!
"Have you even eaten yet?" Ran asks, raising an eyebrow at Shinichi.
He finds his mouth part for a moment, then close, not a word leaving his lips.
Ran gives him that look again before she suddenly declares, "That's it!", she slams her hands on Shinichi’s desk, forming palm shamed dents , "We're going out for lunch and if you dare escape, there would be consequences ," she tells him.
Shinichi, suddenly terribly afraid for his life, could only nod frantically in reply.
Ran smiles. "Good. Now go get a shower and I'll wait for you in the living room, okay?"
"Yes ma'am." Shinichi chirps and stands up, taking a few seconds to mourn over his case files before he left for the bathroom to take his overdue shower session.
Refreshed and slightly more awake after four cups of coffee and slapping himself repeatedly , Shinichi made his way out of his house with Ran, her chatters a pleasant buzz in his ears.
"-and the dress we picked for Kazuha-chan was so cute! She told me Hattori-kun literally dropped his jaw on their date, I wish I saw it!" She squealed, making wild gestures here and there.
"You must be so proud they finally got together after years, huh?" Shinichi chirps with a soft chuckle.
"Of course I am!" Ran puffs back, "I was this close to just shove them in a room until they confess, you know! And — Ah, we're here!" She points to a cafe Shinichi haven't seen around before.
"They just opened a few days ago! I wanted to go with Sonoko, but Makoto-kun just came back and I didn't want to intrude in their dates." She giggles, then drags Shinichi inside with a deadly grip.
( The consequences of escaping would be painful , Shinichi reminds himself, don't even try it, Shinichi. )
Once inside, a waitress greets them with a bright smile, about to ask the usual 'table for two?' when a voice interrupts.
"Shin-chan!!!!!" Said the voice in excitement, "and Mouri-chan! Over here!"
"Kaito?" Shinichi says with a blink, immediately recognizing the voice, while Ran brightens.
"Kuroba-kun! Aoko-chan, too! What a coincidence!" She says, dragging Shinichi towards their lookalikes' table. It looked like they just arrived like them, with only glasses of water and menus on their hands.
"Ran-chan, Kudo-san!" Aoko greets back with a grin, "Please, sit with us!" She says, gesturing to the two chairs beside her and Kaito.
“Have you guys picked your orders yet?” Ran asks the two as they settle themselves on their seats, with Ran in front of Aoko and Shinichi in front of Kaito. Aoko shakes her head negative in reply to Ran, “Not yet! It’s so hard to choose! They all look delicious!” Aoko says with a pout.
“What do you mean, Aoko? It’s so easy to choose!” Kaito says, “Let’s see….” He leans over to stare intently at Aoko’s menu, before he suddenly points, “-there!” He chirps, “Now that’s a nice choice!”
A triple deluxe chocolate cake. Of course.
Aoko decides to give a flat look.
“Anything chocolate is a nice choice for you, Kaito.”
“Of course!” Kaito huffs, “It is one of the best things in the world, after all!” He declares. (Right after Shinichi in Kaito’s world of course. But Aoko and Ran doesn’t know that. Nor you, reader. Right? Right. )
Rolling her eyes, Aoko decides to look back at the menu and lights up at the next picture she sees. “Ran-chan, look! It looks tasty! Do you think it’s worth a try?” She chirps, leaning over to show Ran a picture of a Blue Velvet Cake.
“I think it would be worth it, Aoko-chan.” Ran says with a giggle, “I’m going to try out their Strawberry and Cream Angel Cake! It looks great,” She chirps, “Hopefully it tastes great too. It’s my first time here!”
“Kaito and Aoko’s as well,” Aoko humms in reply, “What about you two? Have you guys decided yet?” She turns to the two males on their table who blinked simultaneously, Shinichi immediately grabbing for the menu while Kaito laughed.
“I’ll take the triple deluxe chocolate cake! While a slice of lemon pie and a chocolate mousse for Shin-chan~”
“What? I haven’t chosen something yet, Kaito —”
“But you’ll choose the lemon pie anyway!” Kaito argues.
Shinichi pouts very slightly. Is he that predictable? (Yes, Shinichi, yes you are.) “Yeah, okay, but, the chocolate mousse—?”
“I know you’ll like it!”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes I do~”
“No you don’t.”
“Come on , Shin-chan! Don’t you trust me?”
“I really don’t.”
“You wound me! It’s just a chocolate mousse, jeez!”
“I swear on my life you’ll like it, Shinichi!”
“...Okay.” Shinichi grumbles, “But I swear if I gag, I’m going to put things in your food. Like, your favorite things. Y’know, the fis—”
“I’ll kiss you if you say the word , Shin-chan.” Kaito suddenly sang, an evil, evil glint in his eyes. (Mixed with a slightly terrified look, because Shinichi could be evil when he wants to be with...with f-finny things , but the evil glint seemed to be more powerful than the other.)
Shinichi immediately shuts up, his face a slight beet red.
Kaito’s face broke out into a grin in victory.
The girls watched the exchange on with curious and amused looks.
Kaito teasing anyone is nothing new, as far as they know, but. Shinichi, blushing at that kind of tease? Well. That’s. Um. Quite new, since the girls know he’s as dense as a brick could be.
Shinichi is finally slightly maybe a tad bit less dense than he usually is!, Ran tells herself with pride, looking proudly at Shinichi who, frankly, doesn’t know what to make out of her ‘Proud Mother’ gaze.
(I mean, Proud Mother Gaze? Seriously?)
“Excuse me ma’ams, sirs? Have you chosen your orders?” A waitress with a bright smile (interrupted the moment, which Shinichi was thankful for) asked them, looking slightly unnerved.
(Who wouldn’t be when the two pairs of “twins” who are not related to each other, at all , turn to look at you at the same time. It’s creepy. )
“Oh! We have!” Aoko quickly chirps up with a grin, “A Blue Velvet Cake for Aoko, a Strawberry and Cream Angel Cake for Ran-chan over there, one—”
“Four!” Kaito interrupts.
“— four slices of the Triple Deluxe Chocolate Cake for that idiot—” “Hey!” “—and a Lemon Pie and Chocolate Mousse for Kudou-san.”
The waitress quickly writes down the orders, accidentally writing ‘idiot’ instead of her intended ‘Kudou #2’ on Kaito’s order, and shuffles away after a bow and a smile so she could get the orders ready.
(and escape from the weirdness called the kudou-kuroba-nakamori-mouri table.)
Satisfied after making their orders, the girls immediately engage in the recent gossips and topics that are trending in the news and social media, giggling and exchanging words here and there.
Meanwhile, Kaito moved his chair so he’s sitting beside Shinichi, a bright grin on his face as he hangs an arm around Shinichi’s shoulders.
“So,” He starts, “What’s gotcha’ making Mouri-chan drag you all the way out of your house, Shin-chan?” He asks, squinting his eyes at the detective who coughed awkwardly and looked away.
“Um.” Shinichi says, intelligently, “I,”
“Hmmm?” Kaito encourages, even though he already has a bet on an answer.
“I may...have...uh,” Shinichi mumbles, “I may have worked on four (Five? Six? Two? He still can’t remember.) cases for t-ten hours straight…?”
Bingo, Kaito thinks as he shoots Shinichi with a look.
“Shut up,” Shinichi says immediately and defensively.
“I haven’t even said anything yet.”
“I know what you’re going to say.”
“.....Just shut up. Ran made new dents on my table.” Shinichi grumbles, head down in shame.
Kaito proceeds to give a low whistle. “ That bad, huh?” He laughs, “Oh, my poor, poor Shin-chan. If only you weren’t so workaholic.” He says in despair, clutching at his chest. “It’s the weekend! Can’t you at least take some time away to do some interesting hobbies or a day out in the park?!”
“My ‘interesting’ hobby is solving cases, Kaito. And...you do know what happens when I go out.”
Kaito makes a considering look for a moment.
“Have you thought on my suggestion of giving Akako a visit?”
Shinichi gives Kaito an offended look. “I’m not cursed. ”
“You might as well be with how much Lady Luck hates you.” Kaito says with a cheeky grin, and ugh, Shinichi wants to (kiss) punch him so bad just to wipe that stupid expression off of the magician’s face.
“Right. And she loves you. I see how it is.” Shinichi says instead with a roll of his eyes, crossing his arms as Kaito laughs once more, a hearty laugh that makes the pout on Shinichi’s face turn into a tiny chuckle.
“Aww, is Shin-chan jealous?” Kaito says as he wiggles his eyebrows.
“Over a fictional figure? No way.” Shinichi replies with a huff.
Kaito was about to retort, maybe something flirty and teasing, but was (once again) interrupted by the waitress who now has a cart of their orders. The magician easily zeroed in on the chocolate cakes, now looking like a wolf staring at its prey once the plates are placed on their table.
“Easy, Kaito, lookin’ like a murderer over there.” Shinichi mutters as he grabs at his plates, squinting at the chocolate mousse.
“Woaaah! Just like in the pictures!” The girls says with a squeal, grabbing their own respective cakes as they take out their phones.
Pictures were taken, poses over the cakes were made, and Shinichi’s and Kaito’s cakes were stolen for more pictures, before they were finally able to settle down and start eating.