Chapter 1: Sexting?
Hello! Mind if we have a chat?
Hey! Aren’t you busy with the whole club scene right now?
Right this moment, no.
I’m a bit...preoccupied.
Do I want to know?
Probably not, but thought I’d tell you anyway.
It’s more polite than blindsiding you with it!
Wait...are you having sex?!
Like, right now while texting me?
Right now, no.
I will be very shortly though.
Why do you want to talk to me during sex?
I’m like the one person you’ve shown no interest in.
Not so much a want of mine as it is a kink with my current partner.
Well, as far as kinks go, I guess it’s harmless enough.
It’s pretty tame for what I am used to, but something I’ve never done before.
Is this considered sexting even though it’s not you I am having sex with?
I don’t even know what’s going on.
Well, currently Rick here has his fingers up my arse prepping me, but hey, I don’t think that’s what you wanted to know
No, it’s really not.
I meant why texting me.
What exactly is this about?
Think its to test my ability to concentrate
Text someone whiiile having sex and see how long i can be coherent ti hink
You’re already losing there then, haha.
Oooh this si not going to be easy for me
Having trouble thinking fo other thigns than sex right now
So, normal conversation then, and not sex? You are way losing.
Alright, talk not dirty to me.
Haha miss lopex
Sooo what are you doing tonight
Got the journal with the stabby town incident in it.
That was a fun one.
I remember stbby twn
How did you manage to type remember right and not stabby town?
Did you write the article ro soemoen else
Oh, I so sent it in, but someone else took over the story.
It’s still accurate though.
Right down to the disappearing dagger.
No one to ever touch again
Okay, I think you have moved on to broken sentences and just admitted to stealing a murder weapon.
Dangerous to humn tch
..I think that meant to say human touch.
Hard to tye wth 1 hnd
Need othr for lvrge
And I have no idea what azs wpn is meant to say, except I think the last word is weapon.
What is azs
Bit hrd to do mmmmuh
Dude, you are so losing the whole concentration thing.
Gotto kepp riting
You wnt to see azs wpn
I thought it was dangerous for us poor humans.
If u tch it
Seriously, how did you squirrel it away?
Srsly hrd 2 type
Cnt kee dong ths
Seriously, it’s so funny to see you so incoherent.
You’re usually so eloquent, even when being a total jerk to others.
And your issues about humanity should be talked about with Linda.
Why do you do this?
Words a had
You need to and can’t think of the words to explain why?
Yeah, you lost this round.
You’re supposed to keep on typing.
Yeah, you’re gone.
I’ll just....wait until the two of you are done.
Chapter 2: After Words
Lucifer chats with Ella for a while about the disappearing dagger of stabbiness.
That was a lot harder than it sounded, just so you know.
It’s really hard to concentrate when the guy you’re with knows what he’s doing.
Oh, hey, you’re back.
I tried reading this before texting you after Rick left.
Hope he comes around again, haha.
Well, if it helps, the conversation went on longer than I thought it would.
Hey! I have great stamina usually.
And I can’t believe I told you that stuff.
Please tell no one. It’s actually pretty much not something to get out.
What, that you have sex with guys?
Dude, everyone already knows that.
About the disappearing weapon. Seriously, it should never have been dug up.
Wait...are you saying that the totally not a scary grave was where the dagger came from?
The dagger comes from Heaven.
It is designed to kill.
I mean, that’s its purpose of existence.
It’s Azrael’s dagger.
It’s been worrying me that she hasn’t come down here to get it yet.
It generally means she’s not allowed to come after it.
And that means there’s Plans going on I know nothing about, as usual.
You sure your therapist knows of this?
All of it.
She actually had a panic attack after I told her.
And she’s a tough one.
You gave your therapist a panic attack talking about the Angel of Death?
Well, when you actually know said angel exists, and you have something of hers, things can get pretty scary.
Scariest sister I have.
I will leave that one well alone.
I promise not to tell anyone about the dagger.
Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to sleep.
Dude, you totally failed at something and I was there to witness it.
Well, sort of.
And yet I lasted longer than you thought.
I’ll call that a win.