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Grocery List

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It had not taken much time for Dazai and Odasaku to decide that Odasaku was the one who would be in charge of the grocery shopping.

In large part, this was because Dazai barely knew how to take care of himself, let alone an entire family that included young children. He regularly prioritized alcohol over actual food when he was living alone, and living together with Oda and his kids didn’t instantly cure that habit. He was a genius, but intelligence wasn’t what was required to keep track of what the seven of them might need and had run low on.

In small part, this was because Oda’s response to Dazai coming home with five things that he wasn’t told to buy and without one important thing that he was - in this case, rice for the kids’ lunch boxes the next day - was to send him right back out to get what he’d missed. Even though it was dark and had started raining on Dazai’s way home.

“If you hadn’t gotten distracted, there wouldn’t be any reason to send you out again,” Oda told him, snug under a warm blanket. “It isn’t that long of a trip.”

Dazai grumbled and complained, but in the end he went back into the rain and the cold to get the kids their rice.

After that, grocery shopping was strictly Odasaku’s job. He made the grocery list, he clipped the coupons, he went to the grocery store while Dazai watched the kids, and he returned with food. That was how it worked, and it worked well for everybody.

The only exception: when Odasaku fell sick.

Oda had a relatively hardy immune system, and he rarely got sick with anything worse than a cold. Whenever he did, Dazai would fuss over him, insisting that he rest as much as possible so he could recover that much more quickly.

“The sooner you get well, the sooner I don’t have to deal with your kids by myself!” Dazai would say. The children were all huddled in the doorway behind him. “You can’t abandon me to these gremlins!”

When Dazai said that, Kousuke would scrunch his face up like a mean-looking gremlin and Sakura would stick out her tongue.

No matter how sick Oda was, this always made him laugh.

The kids were on their best behavior whenever Odasaku got sick. Dazai had assumed that this was because he was the scarier adult of the two of them, until Yu bluntly told him, “If you have a heart attack because you’re not good with kids and Odasaku can’t help you, you’ll have to go to the hospital, and then none of us could reach the high shelves.”

It wasn’t the usual reason people had for being well-behaved in Dazai’s presence, but he’d take it.

Odasaku did his grocery shopping on the same day every week. This time he had the bad luck to be sick on that particular day, and though he offered to at least make the grocery list - “I’ll try not to cough on it” - Dazai insisted that he could handle everything by himself.

Which led to Dazai searching through the pantry while the kids ‘helped’.

“Let’s see, we’re out of strawberry jam…”

“We stopped getting that after we found out Sakura was allergic,” Shinji told Dazai.

Dazai, not used to being corrected, quickly moved on. “We don’t have any apple juice…”

“It’s in the fridge,” Katsumi said. “You have to put it in the fridge after you open it. It’s pretty full, so you don’t need to get another one.”

After a pause, Dazai checked the next shelf. “We’ve run out of those creme cookies you like, Sakura-”

“They cost a lot,” Sakura said. “I like the cheaper ones too, so it’s okay.”

“Dazai, just let us do this,” Kousuke said, already opening up the fridge to start checking there. “You can go watch TV, and we’ll make the shopping list for you.”

“…I think this is what embarrassment feels like…”

The shopping list was made, the groceries were purchased, and when Oda complimented Dazai on buying everything they needed without any help, Dazai only wanted to die a little more than usual.