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shit it's the inglourious gaysterds

Chapter Text

"Get off me, you fuckin' Nazi scum!" Aldo hissed. "Fuckin'... fuckin'- shit!"

Hans wrapped his dominant hand around the Apache's neck, smirking and giving him a glare. His pants were off and he aggressively grinded against Raine's rough boner, still clothed. His face was red and he kept on spitting insults at Hans' face.

"You motherfucking Jew-killing fag, get the damn fuckin' fuck off me, you piece of shit!"

"But how can I get off you?" Hans giggled. "You're so sexy." The Standartenführer leaned in to kiss Aldo. He let Aldo bite his bottom lip and his tongue all together in one attempted chew. He didn't mind it - fuck, he even enjoyed it.

Aldo punched Hans in the stomach with his knee. He had only jerked a little bit away from him, pushing his hand off his neck, and then ended up snickering and eventually laughing.

"Fucking asshole, let me go!" Raine screeched, arching his back. "Get these fucking handcuffs off me and let me go!"

"I can't do that," Landa stated. "Like I said about twenty seconds ago, you're so sexy. I can't get enough of you. I can't get off you, too. I want... to get you off because of me as well. I-Is that what you guys say? Getting each other off?"

"It's just getting you off, Jesus Christ-"

"Oh! So you do want to get me off? Ooh, this is exciting!"

"You fucking fuck! I'm not assfucking you!"

"But that's what I want from you, Mr. Aldo Raine," Hans moaned. "You see, I want you... to have... this thing called sexual intercourse with me. Anally. If that's a word!" He laughed again. Raine was more than pissed now, his heart beating out of his chest.

"God, I want to kill you right now if I had the chance." he muttered to himself angrily.

"Anyways, Apache," Landa continued. "I want you to fuck me, right here, right now. If you fuck me, right here, right now, I'll consider letting you go in a time span of five minutes. And I don't want you to fuck me normally. I want you... to place that well-renowned fist around my throat. Yeah, that seems right. Well-renowned fist; ha-ha, I'm a genius!"

"Genius?" Aldo scoffed.

"Smart man. It's the definition. Have you not been educated as a child, Raine?"

"I know what the word genius means, you assfuck lover, now let me go!"

"I will until you fulfill my needs, Raine." Hans placed his hand on Aldo's neck again, with the same amount of hardcore pressure he used before. "You see how I suffocate you now? This is how I want you to hurt me. Hurt me like this. Inflict pain on me like this."

"You want pain, bitch?" Aldo screamed.

"I mean, that is what I asked for-"

"I'll give you pain, bitch!"

The cuffs choking Raine's wrists snapped off from the headboard and he was free to rise up. And so he did, madly kissing Hans as his hands tugged onto his collar, pulling him in. The Jew Hunter had tried to elicit a moan, but he was pinned down before he could make such a lewd sound. Aldo turned him around so that his ass was on his hard dick, not quite touching his asshole, but just enough so that he could be reminded of the revolting stench of his sex in his dreams. Eventually, Raine did not hesitate to push his pants down and let himself into the Standartenführer, "anally", as so it presumed, and lean in to gain better volume of Landa's uncontrollable, nearly exaggerated moans.

"Oh, my God, Aldo 'The Apache' Raine!" Hans said. "Since when did you become such a man of sorts?"

"I'm not choking you today, assfuck," Raine growled.

"T-Today?!" Hans gasped in utter amusement yet surprise. "We're gonna... We're gonna fuck again? Someday? I'm so excited!"

"No." The Apache pulled onto Hans' hair and let him groan. "I don't fulfill needs fully."