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too good to be true

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Jiho wasn’t necessarily a touchy person. Kyung knew this with everything he had, having been a childhood friend.

But this was a different story.

Kyung had woken up to the sound of sheets rustling, to the dip in the bed behind him being created as someone slotted behind him. He almost turned over, wanting to know which of the members was interrupting his sleep, but he stopped when he felt a familiar arm sliding around his waist, and soft lips pressing to the skin behind his ear as a silent apology.

It was always a different experience, cuddling with Jiho versus cuddling with the rest of the group. Kyung could just slide into someone’s arms (or Taeil into his, since the eldest man liked being the small spoon the best) and fill up his affection metre as much as he wanted, but Jiho was the complete opposite. He wasn’t a fan of being touched randomly, pats on the shoulder and playful nudges allowed because that’s just how the other members were.

But sometimes Jiho needed the knowledge that there was someone who loved him for Woo Jiho and not just Zico from Block B, and that’s where Kyung usually fit in (literally, since Jiho’s arms seemed made to slide around him just so, his chest soft enough for Kyung to lean into as his face took its usual spot in the crook of Jiho’s neck). He would sometimes seek Kyung in front of the other members, hugging him from behind and pressing gentle lips to the nape of his neck as a soft reassurance that his childhood friend was real and actually standing there. Other times, Jiho would follow Kyung into his bedroom and slide under the covers with him, letting his friend move them around until he was comfortable, and they would fall asleep and wake up in the same positions.

This time was different. Jiho wasn’t someone who just bothered Kyung in the middle of the night if they weren’t having promotions. Jiho liked being a perfectionist when it came to his music, but Kyung had produced most of the songs in the repackaging of Montage, so it couldn’t have been that.

Since he was awake, Kyung rolled over under the covers slowly, one hand coming up to rest on Jiho’s cheek while the other slid under his neck. Jiho was close enough for Kyung to press their foreheads together, and a sigh left the leader as Kyung pressed one of his legs forward to tangle with his friend’s. Kyung stared at him for a long moment before humming softly, his thumb moving back and forth on Jiho’s cheekbone gently.

There were no words shared between them, just their eyes locking together in a deep, meaningful gaze. The way Jiho looked at him proved to Kyung that he knew who ‘Don’t Leave’ was written about, what it really meant to Kyung when he had presented it to the company. He was sure the members believed that someone had really hurt him, that his heart had been broken by someone he loved, but Jiho knew the real answer.

The bags under Jiho revealed that he hadn’t slept much since they started promotions — but Kyung was sure that he had been staying awake for much longer than that, knowing that Jiho felt guilty ever since Kyung had him read the lyrics for the song. Jiho had been pulling further and further away from the group, and there was a time where Kyung truly believed that he was leaving Block B.

He wasn’t stupid — he knew that Block B would be nothing without Zico being their leader, without Woo Jiho writing and producing their music. Ever since the lawsuit, Jiho had been pulling away from the group, from the members… and from him . Kyung wanted to believe that his childhood friend was coming back, that his first love had just lost himself, but he knew the truth as well.

Kyung let his eyes fall shut as he held onto Jiho, and it didn’t take long for the leader to follow his actions. Kyung tilted his chin up just as Jiho leaned forward and pressed their lips together for the first time since they debuted, and he easily let himself fall into the black hole that was Woo Jiho.

Jiho slid both arms around Kyung’s small waist, pulling him closer, and the kiss suddenly became desperate in a way that it hadn’t been since they were in high school. The desperation this time, though, wasn’t because they were getting closer to a climax that they both wanted to reach. No, this desperation was different for the both of them. While Jiho’s desperation was about an apology he owed Kyung years ago, Kyung’s desperation was to show his leader exactly why he made the decision he did.

Kyung was laid back against the bed as Jiho crawled on top of him, and Kyung’s hands moved from Jiho’s cheeks to his waist. Jiho was mumbling unintelligibly under his breath as he pulled his lips away from Kyung’s, kissing down his neck slowly. The older of the two realised what Jiho was doing, and he shushed him quietly, trying to pull him back into the present. This startled Jiho out of his thoughts and moved him off of the track he was on, and before he knew it, Jiho’s face was pressed into Kyung’s chest.

He could feel the leader shaking as his shirt slowly became wet, and Kyung felt his heart breaking when Jiho let out a loud sob. Kyung’s hands came up from Jiho’s waist to wrap around his neck, and his childhood friend sunk into the embrace as he broke down in Kyung’s arms. He kept muttering apologies in between breaths of air, and Kyung shook his head as he pressed gentle kisses to his head, unable to say anything to calm him down.

The next morning was somber, the seven of them sitting around the table picking at the breakfast that Yukwon had made. Kyung kept his eyes on the plate in front of him, unable to lift his gaze to look at any of the other six in case they tried to fight him again.

Beside him, Jihoon pushed back from his chair and stormed out of the kitchen, cursing in a rough voice under his breath as he left. Kyung looked up in the direction that he had gone off in, watching silently as Taeil made his excuses before getting up to rush after him. One by one, the members all left the table until it was just him sitting there, and Kyung stared off into nothing for a moment.

“Manager-hyung’s here.” A soft voice said, and Kyung blinked himself back into reality before looking up to see Minhyuk standing there. He nodded once, the movement jerky as he set his fork down on the table. He stood up on shaking legs, pushing the chair back into the table before passing by Minhyuk to see the manager standing in the living room with the other members sitting or standing around them.

Nothing was said as they exchanged a nod, and Kyung watched as the manager went into his room. After a moment, he realised that they were giving him time to say his goodbyes, and Kyung let out a shaky sigh. He watched slowly as Taeil stood up first, being the eldest, and it only took him a moment before he pressed up against Kyung in a tight hug. Kyung held onto Taeil tightly, understanding everything he wasn’t saying since they had lived together the longest, and they pulled away from each other in unison.

Next was Jihoon, the youngest of the seven almost pushing Taeil away to hold onto Kyung. He was usually in control of his emotions, being the maknae, but Kyung could feel the wetness of Jihoon’s tears on his head. Kyung pressed up against him and whispered soft words of reassurance into his tear, smiling tightly when Jihoon pulled back.

Jaehyo surprised him with a hug, not very long but still something, and a pat on the shoulder as he pulled away from Kyung. Yukwon was about the same way, both arms sliding around Kyung’s waist as he hugged him, and Minhyuk joined in as he came up behind Kyung and held him for a moment. Minhyuk kissed his head gently, a rare show of affection that he wasn’t used to giving, and Yukwon brushed their noses together for a moment before the both of them pulled away, and then Kyung turned to the last member in the room.

Jiho looked at Kyung with wide eyes, bloodshot and puffy from how much he had cried the night before and that morning. His hands were clasped together tightly so they wouldn’t shake anymore, and his eyes were already welling up with more tears as he took a step forward. Kyung took in a shaky breath and closed the distance between them, pressing his face into Jiho’s neck and winding his thin arms around the taller man’s neck as he finally allowed himself to break down.

Kyung was shaking as he sobbed, sniffling quietly as he held onto Jiho tightly. Jiho had both arms around Kyung’s waist, his face pressed to his hair as he held onto his friend. They both moved at the same time, lips almost blindly seeking each other until they connected in a soft and salty kiss. Kyung didn’t care that the other members were still in the room, that their manager had more than likely joined them at this point with Kyung’s bags, he just kept kissing Jiho until he had gotten all of his emotions across.

“It’s not about you.” Kyung whispered as Jiho pulled away from him, looking up at him with a sad smile. He brought a hand up to wipe away the taller man’s tears, pausing for a moment before taking a few steps back. “I promise it’s not about you.”

Before Jiho could say anything to that, their manager cleared his throat, and Kyung brought a hand up to wipe his face with his sleeves before nodding once. He walked over and gave Kyung his bags before walking to the door, and Kyung looked at the other six before turning around to follow his manager.

Jiho stood and watched as Kyung slipped out the door, his final moment of seeing Kyung cut short as their manager shut the door. He forced himself to stay standing where he was, not allowing himself to run after his childhood friend and beg him to stay.

“It’s about himself.” Jaehyo said, and Jiho turned with the five other members to look at him in shock. “‘Don’t Leave’. It’s about himself. He told me once that he felt like he had lost himself a long time ago.”

“Is that why he begged manager-hyung to go?” Yukwon asked, his voice wavering, but Jiho couldn’t hear the answer as his mind filled with static.

Unable to focus on anything at that moment, Jiho sunk down into the sofa cushions below him, burying his face in both hands as he let his tears wash over him once again. He felt a hand on his back, another on his shoulder, and he turned into the person on his right as he cried.

Jiho wasn’t necessarily a touchy person. Kyung knew this with everything he had, having been a childhood friend.

But Kyung was gone now, and Jiho felt lost.