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like ships in the night

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friday / 2015.12.25


[11:02 AM] me: merry christmas hyung

[11:09 AM] me: i miss you

friday / 2016.01.01


[12:00 AM] me: happy new year

[12:02 AM] me: it’s been a year since we started dating

[12:03 AM] me: four months since

[12:03 AM] me: well you know

[12:11 AM] me: i just miss you hyung

[12:12 AM] me: so so much

sunday / 2016.02.14


[2:06 AM] me: i’m gonna get you back hyung

[2:07 AM] me: i swear it

[2:08 AM] me: i promise



wednesday / 2016.02.17


[10:13 AM] me: did you send me flowers?


[10:15 AM] hobi: nope

[10:15 AM] hobi: why

[10:16 AM] hobi: did someone send you flowers!!!


[10:17 AM] me: it was probably just a fan or something


[10:18 AM] hobi: or you have a secret admirer!!!!!!!


[10:18 AM] me: or a fan

[10:19 AM] me: think realistically hobi

[10:19 AM] me: that’s wishful thinking


[10:20 AM] hobi: really wishful huh


[10:21 AM] me: i wasn’t hoping it was him

[10:22 AM] me: okay?

[10:23 AM] me: i wasn’t


[10:24 AM] hobi: i know hyung

friday / 2016.02.26


[11:38 AM] namjoon: what time is the show tonight?


[11:40 AM] me: 8


[11:41 AM] namjoon: so excited!

[11:41 AM] namjoon: are we gonna see you afterwards?


[11:42 AM] me: idk

[11:42 AM] me: it’s kinda hectic ove r here


[11:44 AM] namjoon: i get it

[11:45 AM] namjoon: it’s just been awhile

[11:45 AM] namjoon: we all wanna see you hyung


[11:46 AM] me: i wanna see you all too

[11:46 AM] me: i’ll see about getting away for a bit at least


[11:50 AM] namjoon: don’t stress too much about it!

[11:50 AM] namjoon: good luck tonight!!

[11:51 AM] namjoon: you’ll do amazing as always



monday / 2016.03.21


[12:26 PM] jimin-hyung: yah jungkook

[12:26 PM] jimin-hyung: can i give your number to someone?


[12:30 PM] me: no

[12:30 PM] me: who?

[12:31 PM] me: no you can’t

[12:32 PM] me: why?


[12:34 PM] jimin-hyung: his name is yugyeom. he’s in my dance class. he saw me talking to you the other day and then kept asking me all these questions about you. he said he in your class


[12:35 PM] me: yeah. we’re the same age. i’ve seen him around campus

[12:35 PM] me: but no

[12:36 PM] me: i’m not looking for anything like that


[12:37 PM] jimin-hyung: well it doesn’t have to be like that


[12:37 PM] me: it sounds like he wants it to


[12:38 PM] jimin-hyung: you need to meet new people kook

[12:38 PM] jimin-hyung: for me?


[12:39 PM] me: no


[12:39 PM] jimin-hyung: too late


[12:40 PM] me: HYUNG

[12:40 PM] me: i hate you

[12:40 PM] me: so much


[12:41 PM] jimin-hyung: i can live with that

wednesday / 2016.03.23


[3:06 PM] unknown number: hey it’s yugyeom. from school.

[3:06 PM] unknown number: jimin hyung gave me your number

[3:06 PM] unknown number: and i was wondering if you wanted to go out friday?


[3:49 PM] me: i’m sorry. jimin hyung gave you my number without my permission

[3:49 PM] me: i’m sure you’re a great guy

[3:49 PM] me: but i’m not looking to date anyone


[3:54 PM] unknown number: oh, no worries!

[3:55 PM] unknown number: maybe we can just hang out instead

[3:55 PM] unknown number: play video games or whatever


[3:58 PM] me: yeah sure

[3:58 PM] me: i guess that’d be fine



––– unknown number yugyeom from school

tuesday / 2016.04.12


[2:20 PM] taetae-hyung: i hear your going out with yugyeom now


[2:27 PM] me: jimin hyung told you didn’t he

[2:27 PM] me: we aren’t going out

[2:27 PM] me: we’re just friends


[2:28 PM] taetae-hyung: yeahhh suuuure

[2:28 PM] taetae-hyung: you can’t fool me jungkook


[2:29 PM] me: i’m serious hyung

[2:29 PM] me: i don’t like him like that. at all

[2:30 PM] me: and if you tell others

[2:30 PM] me: i will hunt you and jimin hyung down



friday / 2016.04.22


[4:46 PM] namjoon: hey hyung. we’re all going out tonight. come with us?


[4:53 PM] me: idk joon


[4:55 PM] hobi: come on hyung!


[4:56 PM] me: i’m sorry guys


[4:57 PM] namjoon: well if you aren’t gonna come out with us. we’ll just have to go to you then


[4:59 PM] me: you guys are too much


[5:00 PM] hobi: and that’s why you’re friends with us

[5:01 PM] hobi: you love us hyung

[5:01 PM] hobi: admit it


[5:02 PM] me: i’m not answring that


[5:03 PM] hobi: hyung!!!!!!!!!

wednesday / 2016.05.04


[7:38 PM] seokjin-hyung: yoongs

[7:38 PM] seokjin-hyung: can you give me a ride to work tomorrow?


[7:44 PM] me: yeah sure

[7:44 PM] me: what time


[7:47 PM] seokjin-hyung: i need to be there at 9


[7:50 PM] me: i’ll pick you up at 8


[7:52 PM] seokjin-hyung: what?

[7:52 PM] seokjin-hyung: that’s so early


[7:54 PM] me: let me say that again

[7:54 PM] me: i’ll be there at 8. you’ll be ready to leave at 8:45


[7:55 PM] seokjin-hyung: are you trying to tell me something


[7:56 PM] me: that you are always late? and take for fucking ever to get ready

[7:56 PM] me: i thought you already knew


[7:57 PM] seokjin-hyung: you can’t treat your hyung like that


[7:59 PM] me: oh well too late


[8:13 PM] seokjin-hyung: hey did you hear about jungkook?


[8:14 PM] me: what about him

[8:15 PM] me: no don’t tell me

[8:15 PM] me: i don’t care


[8:16 PM] seokjin-hyung: don’t be like that hyung

[8:16 PM] seokjin-hyung: you don’t fool anyone


[8:17 PM] me: just tell me hyung


[8:17 PM] seokjin-hyung: well he moved to seoul a few months ago

[8:18 PM] seokjin-hyung: and is going to the same school you went to..


[8:18 PM] me: WHAT


[8:19 PM] seokjin-hyung: actually

[8:19 PM] seokjin-hyung: he’s already started..


[8:19 PM] me: WTF


[8:20 PM] me: HOW COULD YOU


[8:21 PM] seokjin-hyung: yoongi

[8:21 PM] seokjin-hyung: you can’t get upset at me for not telling you anything about jungkook

[8:21 PM] seokjin-hyung: sure i’m pretty good friends with him

[8:22 PM] seokjin-hyung: and us two haven’t been friends all that long

[8:22 PM] seokjin-hyung: you told me you never wanted to hear anything about him

[8:22 PM] seokjin-hyung: so i never told you anything

[8:23 PM] seokjin-hyung: but i thought you should know


[8:23 PM] me: i can’t believe this

[8:24 PM] me: i can’t beleve you!


[8:25 PM] seokjin-hyung: would you shut the fuck up alrady!

[8:25 PM] seokjin-hyung: i’m sorry

[8:26 PM] seokjin-hyung: but you need to get over this

[8:26 PM] seokjin-hyung: you pushed jungkook away because what

[8:26 PM] seokjin-hyung: you were scared?

[8:27 PM] seokjin-hyung: imagine how he felt!

[8:28 PM] seokjin-hyung: you became famous, yoongi!


[8:28 PM] me: i don’t wanna hear this


[8:29 PM] seokjin-hyung: well someone needs to tell you no matter what!

[8:30 PM] seokjin-hyung: you should see him, hyung

[8:31 PM] seokjin-hyung: he misses you

[8:33 PM] seokjin-hyung: jungkook is moving in with me this weekend


[8:33 PM] me: WHAT


[8:34 PM] seokjin-hyung: and i think you really should sit down and meet with him


[8:35 PM] me: this is insane

[8:35 PM] me: i can’t talk about this anymore

[8:35 PM] me: i gotta go

thursday / 2016.05.05


[1:27 PM] hobi: hyung! you’re being an idiot

[1:27 PM] hobi: i can’t believe you

[1:27 PM] hobi: you have this opportunity to meet jungkook

[1:27 PM] hobi: be with him

[1:27 PM] hobi: and you’re throwing it away

[1:28 PM] hobi: stop being a brat and suck it up!

thursday / 2016.05.05


[6:11 PM] namjoon: seokjin-hyung told me jungkook was here now

[6:11 PM] namjoon: and that you guys talked about him

[6:12 PM] namjoon: hyung you have to see him

[6:39 PM] namjoon: you can’t ignore everyone forever!

[6:54 PM] namjoon: life is gonna catch up to you eventually

friday / 2016.05.06


[5:07 PM] seokjin-hyung: i’m coming over


[5:08 PM] me: no. don’t

[5:08 PM] me: i’m not home


[5:09 PM] seokjin-hyung: where are you


[5:11 PM] me: i’m at the studio

[5:11 PM] me: with my manager

[5:11 PM] me: i probably won’t get home tonight


[5:12 PM] seokjin-hyung: fine

[5:12 PM] seokjin-hyung: but i hope you know you’re pushing everyone away

[5:12 PM] seokjin-hyung: we just want to help yoongi

[5:12 PM] seokjin-hyung: be there for you

[5:13 PM] seokjin-hyung: eat something and get some rest

[5:14 PM] seokjin-hyung: i’ll stop by in the morning



friday / 2016.05.06


[7:03 PM] jimin-hyung: we’re going out tonight boys!!!!!!


[7:04 PM] taetae-hyung: yeah!!!!!!

[7:04 PM] taetae-hyung: i could really use a blackout drunk kind of night


[7:04 PM] jimin-hyung: only you would say that tae

[7:05 PM] jimin-hyung: kook?


[7:07 PM] me: i’m not relly in the mood


[7:07 PM] taetae-hyung: you’re never in the mood


[7:08 PM] jimin-hyung: come on!!

[7:08 PM] jimin-hyung: jin hyung is coming too!

[7:08 PM] jimin-hyung: he said he’d bring a few of his friends

[7:09 PM] jimin-hyung: so we’re going

[7:09 PM] jimin-hyung: and you’re going too


[7:11 PM] me: k fine

[7:12 PM] me: come pick me up then


[7:13 PM] taetae-hyung: wooo!!

[7:13 PM] taetae-hyung: you won’t regret it kookie!!

friday / 2016.05.06


[9:42 PM] jin-hyung: where are you kookie?


[9:43 PM] me: i just went for a walk


[9:44 PM] jin-hyung: i don’t think that’s a good idea

[9:44 PM] jin-hyung: you should come back

[9:45 PM] jin-hyung: that guy is asking for you


[9:45 PM] me: he’s kind of an asshole


[9:46 PM] jin-hyung: you think everyone is an asshole lately

[9:47 PM] jin-hyung: jungkook

[9:47 PM] jin-hyung: stop this please

[9:47 PM] jin-hyung: i know how you’re feeling


[9:48 PM] me: you don’t know anything hyung!

[9:49 PM] me: i love yoongi hyung. still

[9:49 PM] me: i think i always will

[9:50 PM] me: neverminding that he’s my first love and all that shit about first love staying with you

[9:50 PM] me: i don’t give a crap!

[9:51 PM] me: i don’t care that everyone thought we wouldn’t make it

[9:51 PM] me: that our relationship was based off a lie

[9:51 PM] me: yeah sure it was

[9:52 PM] me: hyung wasn’t meant to text me that night. he was supposed to text someone else

[9:52 PM] me: but it was my number he texted

[9:52 PM] me: it was me hyung

[9:52 PM] me: me

[9:52 PM] me: of all the people in the world

[9:53 PM] me: yoongi texted my number

[9:53 PM] me: i think about that every day

[9:53 PM] me: it haunts me. every. day.

[9:54 PM] me: and he had the choice to stop texting me

[9:54 PM] me: sure i did too

[9:54 PM] me: but neither of us did

[9:55 PM] me: we continued talking. even if we lived on the opposite sides of the country. had an age difference. were different in so many ways

[9:56 PM] me: but we had so many similarities

[9:56 PM] me: so many reasons to keep talking to one another

[9:56 PM] me: i trusted him.

[9:56 PM] me: liked him.

[9:57 PM] me: could relate to him

[9:57 PM] me: i fell in love with him

[9:58 PM] me: i was willing to do anything for him

[9:59 PM] me: i just want to at least see him

[9:59 PM] me: know why he left

[10:00 PM] me: it hurts hyung


[10:02 PM] jin-hyung: jungkook..

[10:02 PM] jin-hyung: i don’t know what to say

[10:03 PM] jin-hyung: im so sorry


[10:04 PM] me: there’s nothing to say

[10:04 PM] me: there’s nothing for you to be sorry for

[10:05 PM] me: it was my fault

[10:06 PM] me: i didn’t hold onto him tight enough

[10:06 PM] me: i could have tried harder


[10:07 PM] jin-hyung: the two of you

[10:07 PM] jin-hyung: are so goddamn similar it’s scary sometimes

[10:08 PM] jin-hyung: you’re both beating yourselvs up over this

[10:09 PM] jin-hyung: you should tell him how you feel

[10:09 PM] jin-hyung: tell him what you just told me


[10:10 PM] me: i can’t hyung

[10:10 PM] me: it’s been months

[10:10 PM] me: he’s busy with his new life

[10:11 PM] me: he’s got no time for me


[10:12 PM] jin-hyung: he needs someone right now jungkook

[10:12 PM] jin-hyung: he’s pushing everyone away

[10:13 PM] jin-hyung: if you won’t do it for yourself

[10:13 PM] jin-hyung: do it for the rest of us

[10:14 PM] jin-hyung: do it for yoongi



friday / 2016.05.06


[10:21 PM] seokjin-hyung: meet me at my house

[10:21 PM] seokjin-hyung: we need to talk


[10:24 PM] me: i told you hyung. i’m at the studio. i can’t get out right now. i don’t know when i will


[10:24 PM] seokjin-hyung: fine

[10:25 PM] seokjin-hyung: then you need to suck it up because i’m coming to you


[10:26 PM] me: can’t this wait until the morning


[10:26 PM] seokjin-hyung: no. it can’t

[10:27 PM] seokjin-hyung: this is really important yoongi


[10:27 PM] me: hyung. you’re kinda freaking me out


[10:28 PM] seokjin-hyung: good

[10:28 PM] seokjin-hyung: i’ll be there in 10