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Mystery of Love

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SIMON:

 

All this nonsense started a few weeks ago when Will –  Micah’s brother who moved to London a couple of years ago to work for a bank – decided he wanted to set me up with a co-worker of his. Of course, I politely declined, thinking that it would be the end of it. It wasn’t.

Penny, Micah, Will, and I have dinner together every day, given that we all live in the same apartment building and on the same floor. And every single dinner since that fastidious day Will told me about his gorgeous analyst friend Ty, they haven’t shut up about him.

I understand that Penny is worried I will die alone. Although, if you ask me, it seems a little too early to be having such a dramatic reaction to the fact that I am single. I am only 25. Not everyone meets the love of their lives at Watford and stops having to worry about it so early on. I told this to Penny once, and she insisted that pretty much everyone did meet the love of their lives at Watford. So, I stopped trying to show her how normal it is to be single at 25.

It’s not even as if I have been single the whole time since Agatha and I broke up. A few months into college I came out to all my friends as pan after I started dating a guy from my class. It lasted for about a year, and we didn’t exactly end on good terms, but being with Oliver did make me grow as an individual. Ever since, I’ve been with some people, occasionally. Some lasted for more than a month, but most never did. The truth is that none of them ever felt right. Not even Oliver, if I am being honest. I don’t really know what it is that I am looking for. But I know I haven’t found it in anyone, yet. And I don’t believe I could find it in some random guy Will seems to think is perfect for me.

Penny thinks otherwise, as she is the most insistent one that I agree to this date. She is particularly focused on the fact that this guy is also a mage. I know part of her concern that I will be lonely forever comes from the fact that Normals don’t usually enjoy much of my presence. It drives them away eventually, even if not at first. They can never tell what it is, but all of us know. My magic is still pretty strong. Even if it is not as strong as it used to be, I still have more of it than most mages do. And Normals find it unsettling. So, I know Penny thinks that if I don’t get together with someone from the magickal world, I won’t get together with anyone at all.

“But Simon, what harm could it do?” She is saying, for the millionth time. And I know it would do me no harm to go out and meet this guy. I could just go to make Penny happy, and then proceed to never see this Ty person again. It couldn’t be that bad, could it?

“Fine. If it shuts you up, I’ll go out on a date with Will’s friend.” I say. Penny’s face lights up with a smile.

“I know you won’t regret it. Now Will, tell us more about this Ty!” She commands.

“No! No more talking about Ty. I’ll go on a date with him if we stop talking about Ty. We can talk about him after the date. For now, let’s make it a blind date.” I am tired of this conversation.

Penny frowns but sees that I’m serious. I know I should want to know more about him, but isn’t that the whole point of the date itself? Besides, I don’t want to start out already disappointed.

“It’s a blind date, then!” Will agrees. “I will tell Ty.”

 

BAZ:

 

William and I hit it off right from the moment he started working at the bank. I know I should say it was the fact that he had a charming personality, or that he and I and a lot of things in common. But the truth is that we became friends because of only one thing we both shared – the fact that we were both magickal.

Eventually, we found out more things we did have in common with each other, and a bunch of things we didn’t. But I guess you could say magick was what really brought us together. He was one of the few people in that goddamn bank that I tolerated, and we spent some time with each other, even after work. He occasionally came to my house to watch Manchester play.

One day, he started to tell me I needed to meet his brother’s friend. He argued we would be the most perfect match he could think of. I obviously told him no, and every time he started that conversation I changed the subject.

The truth is, I am not interested in a relationship. All I do, and all I’ve ever done, are random hook-ups with random guys I meet and random gay bars. They are all in and out of the apartment before they even know it. And, although I tell them I will call them back, I never do. They usually get the picture.

So, I obviously don’t want to go out with a friend of one of my few friends and make things awkward between Will and me. Because I will only fuck this guy and ask him to leave, never calling him back. Like I do to everyone. And Will knows it.

But yet, he keeps insisting this wouldn’t be like that. He assures me this man is perfect for me. That I would completely fall in love with him in no time. Which I won’t. And I know that, but Will doesn’t. No one does, really. Everyone I know finds it odd that I have never found love, considering I’m intelligent, attractive and interesting. And I guess it would be odd if it wasn’t for the fact that I never looked for love. Because the truth is, I have fallen in love a long time ago. And I have been in love with that person ever since. And it really is sad, considering I haven’t seen the object of my affection for over six years. It is even sadder that he and I ended off as badly as we did. It’s not as if we had the big fight everyone was expecting. None of us had to die. After the Humdrum was defeated and the Mage imprisoned, the war just ceased. Just like that. So, we never got to have our big fight. And I never got to tell him that I loved him just as he stabbed me with his sword. The way I had always thought I would.

None of that ever became true, and the last thing I said to Simon Snow was ‘See you never, git’. To what he responded, ‘Thank Crowley for that, fucker’. And that was it. I never saw Simon Snow again, even though we probably live in the same city. And it is likely that I will never see him again. Yet, I will forever be stuck loving him. I know that by now. It’s been around seven years and I still dream of him every single night. Every time I look at the night sky, I envision his freckles and moles in the constellations of stars. I think the back of my eyes is more golden and blue than it is black. I swear I could draw him from memory if I knew how to draw, even though I haven’t seen him in so long. Simon Snow will always have my heart. He has had it since we were fifteen. And he will never know that. Which doesn’t make it less true.

That is why I don’t want to go out with Will’s friend. Nothing serious would ever happen between us. And it could change things between me and Will. I’ve told him that countless times. But he still talks about it every day. It’s becoming utterly annoying.

That’s why I know, as he comes over to my table at lunchtime with a big smile on his face, he is going to talk about his friend again.

“He agreed to the date, so now you have to go.” I look at him annoyed.

“I really don’t. I’ve told you that.”

“Come on Ty!” Everyone from life after Watford calls me Ty. Only my family, Dev and Niall still call me Baz. “You have to trust me. He really is your type. I’ve known you long enough to recognise someone you’d fancy when I see them.”

“No.” I say as I take a sip of my coffee.

“Come on.” He whines. “Look, he even told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious. And he wants it to be a blind date.”

“Why on earth does he want it to be a blind date? Do I look fifteen to you?”

“I don’t know. But the thing is, he already knows your name. So, I guess it is only fair that I tell you what he looks like. That way, what you know about the other is different. Then you can go and look for him. And you can make sure you found him because he will know your name.”

“The way he looks like won’t make any difference. The answer is still no.”

“Just hear me out. He is tall, but not as tall as you. And quite fit considering he eats as much as an elephant.” I laugh a little. I didn’t think there would be someone else in this world who would be known to eat as much as Snow. “He has golden curly hair and blue eyes. And he will be wearing a green shirt for you to be able to find him.”

I know I should have stuck with my no. But this guy’s description was, to say the least, appealing to me. He sounded as if he would be slightly similar to Simon Snow. And although I knew I would never love anyone other than him, it couldn’t hurt to at least try. And, if he was close enough, maybe he could work as some sort of consolation prize. So, I did what I knew I shouldn’t have done. I said:

“Fine, I’ll go out with your friend.”