Chapter 1: Inception
Last updated: 01/01/2017, special thanks to DA AIMERABLE and SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
I'm staring at my computer screen. I finally got the special ending of this cutely creepy game. I'm reading Dan's letter, happy that I finally completed the game but sad because this is the end.
I click on the screen and then something weird happens. A new pop-up window appears in the middle of the screen.
Window: "Have you ever heard of the simulation theory?"
I have never heard of this extra window. I wonder if I unlocked an easter-egg somehow. There are two buttons on the screen: yes and no. I click yes.
Window: "Great! That makes things easier. Well, we have shocking news for you: The theory is actually true. You ARE living in a simulation."
What? I'm a bit surprised. I'm already aware that this game is playing tricks with the player, but the fact that those messages appear after the credits disturbs me a little. I click again to continue.
Window: "We also have even more shocking news! For the sake of our enjoyment, you have been granted to the exceptional opportunity to be TRANSPORTED into the game Doki Doki Literature Club!"
Wow, they really put much effort into it, didn't they? Is the game going to restart or something?
Window: "Do you accept this unique opportunity?"
Sure, why not? I click yes, expecting to play a new route of the game.
Window: "Thank you for your cooperation! Not that it matters anyway. Before we start, let us inform you that there will be a letter from us in your school bag. We greatly recommend you read it, preferably alone!"
What school bag?
Window: "We will start right away! Are you ready?"
Is this really part of the game? Whatever, I click yes.
Something happens. My thoughts are in disarray. My senses are overwhelmed by the sudden transition.
I was sitting, but now I'm standing.
I was inside, but now I'm outside.
It was neither warm nor cold inside my room. Now it's a bit cold.
I was in my usual clothes. Now I'm in a school uniform.
I didn't have anything on my back. Now there is a school bag.
What happened. What am I doing here? How did I end up here? Am I dreaming? Did someone drug me and kidnap me?
My uncontrollable thoughts are interrupted by a voice of a girl.
I look behind me. There is a girl running towards me from the distance, waving her arms frantically. She looks like someone I know, but I can't remember in my troubled state.
While she is coming closer, I quickly look around me. This place looks unfamiliar. I have to know where I am. I'm currently standing in front of a crossroad. I cannot recognize anything around me. It looks like it's currently the morning. The weather is cold, as if it was in October.
For now, it doesn't look like I'm in any danger.
I take a deep breath to try calming myself down. I'm still sweating and trembling.
The girl is now standing in front of me. She seems out of breath. Now that she is closer, I notice she appears to be Sayori, a character from Doki Doki Literature Club.
But that isn't possible. It was just a game! How can I…
What happened several minutes ago come to mind. "You have been granted the exceptional opportunity to be TRANSPORTED into Doki Doki Literature Club!".
No way. You have got to be kidding me.
Sayori: "I overslept again!"
Sayori: "But I caught you this time!"
…? I'm puzzled by the impossibility of the situation. I keep telling myself this is a dream. There is no other rational explanation.
Either way…I need to say something.
[Player]: "Ahah, yeah…"
Sayori looks at me with a worried face.
Sayori: "You look tired…Did you watch too many anime again last night?"
[Player]: "Ahaha, sorry I really wanted to finish something…I'm just a bit tired, don't worry."
It's still difficult for me to accept that it is the reality, but for now I should play along.
Sayori: "Jeez, you know you shouldn't do that…"
[Player]: "Speak for yourself. Who's the one late here?"
Sayori: "That's mean, [Player]!"
[Player]: "It's just the truth…Anyway, we should go."
[Sayori]: "Yeah! Let's go!"
We cross the street together and make our way to school. As we draw nearer, the streets become increasingly speckled with other students making their daily commute.
But something is wrong. The students… They are silhouette placeholder sprites that are found in renpy. There is one silhouette for all female students and one silhouette for all male students. Needless to say, it is very disturbing…
But there's something else too. The music…I can hear it. It is subtle. I can recognize the name of the track, "Ohayou Sayori!". It really seems like I actually am in Doki Doki…Oh my god…Or should I say, "Oh my Monika"?...
Sayori interrupts my thoughts.
Sayori: "By the way, [Player]?"
Sayori: "Have you decided on a club to join yet?"
[Player]: "A club?"
Wait, what should I answer? ...Should I do the same things the main character did?
[Player]: "Let me think for a bit…"
Sayori: "You promised me you would join a club this year."
There is no point in wasting time. For now, I should meet Monika as soon as possible. She is the game master of this world. Maybe she can help me.
[Player]: "…Alright. I decided I want to join the literature club!"
Sayori: "W-Wait, really?!"
[Player]: "Yea…yeah, I mean, you are the vice-president, right? It would be better for the both of us to be together, don't you think?"
Sayori smiles brightly and jumps with her fist raised!
Aww, Sayori is cute…
Sayori: "I'm so happy! You know, I even planned on inviting you today!"
[Player]: "Really? What a coincidence!"
Sayori: "Natsuki made cupcakes today too! I can't wait to show you the club!"
[Player]: "I can't wait too."
I really cannot wait.
We arrived at the school and went to our respective classrooms. Before we separated, I asked Sayori where was my classroom and where was my seat. She thought that was really weird, but I managed to brush it off with a joke and by saying I was still tired. I then sat at my usual seat and waited until lunch. I didn't pay any attention to the other students or the lectures…I instead used these hours of boredom to reflect on my current situation.
I remembered the weird messages before I got pulled into this world. I concluded that I was really into Doki Doki The Literature Club. It made me happy for a bit…but that didn't last long. While going into a fictional world has always been one of my fantasy, I have people waiting for me in my world, people who are dear to me. If I was to disappear…I don't want to imagine how much pain and sadness they would feel. Besides, while this world seems interesting at first, it would quickly become boring or even hellish. Everyone has the same appearance, behaves like scripted robots…The places besides the school and the main road to school are nothing but empty or simply don't exist…I can understand now why Monika couldn't stand this fake world for long.
Before I was sent into the game, I was told that there would be a letter inside my bag. So as soon as lunch started, I went to the toilet to read the letter. It said:
Welcome to Doki Doki Literature Club! We hope the sudden teleportation was not too sudden! If you are reading this letter, we suppose you already had time to adjust to this new bright cute world! You are probably wondering how you could go back to your reality. The answer is simple! You just have to wait until the school festival is over without Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki, Monika or YOU dying! If either one of the aforementioned character dies or is deleted, then you will be stuck forever in this paradise world! Well, maybe that would not be too bad, would it? One last thing: you cannot destroy or damage in any way this letter! It also cannot be more than 5 meters away from you! If the distance becomes more than 5 meters, then this letter will automatically appear in your hand! We warmly recommend you to keep this letter a secret~! Alright, this is all for now! We may meet another time! Do your best to entertain us!
On one hand, I was glad to learn there was indeed one way to go back to my world. On the other hand, I was afraid to learn I would be forever stuck here if I messed up. The victory condition is to reach the school festival without anyone dying. It looks easy, especially with my knowledge of the game, but it is actually not that simple. First, I don't know if the future will be the same as what happened in the game. Second, I'm powerless if Monika suddenly decides to delete her rivals. Third, I cannot get rid of this letter. If Monika was to read it…Fourth, I don't know if or when they will mess with me. If the story is too boring, it is likely they will spice things up a bit…
I sighed. After I read the letter and thought for a bit, I left the toilet and went straight to the classroom. I was a bit hungry and thirsty, but I didn't want to take the risk of meeting prematurely one member of the club at the cafeteria. I spend the afternoon thinking about what I should do to return to my reality.
I came to the conclusion that the best things I could do were the following:
Romance Monika. No matter what, I absolutely need to know her thoughts and her actions at any time. I also need to show her that I only love her so that she doesn't become jealous and deletes her rival. Monika was my favorite character of DDLC. I even wished to meet, to talk with her and even to touch her…If I'm not careful, I might really fall in love and lose the will to leave this world…I need to make her love me without me loving her back. That might be the biggest hurdle.
Check every morning and evening Sayori. She is the likeliest to die. I need to stay her best friend and support her as best as I can. The problem is finding a balance between Monika and Sayori. If I spend too much time with Sayori, Monika might become jealous.
Befriend Natsuki and Yuri. It is very unlikely any of them will die if Monika doesn't do anything. Natsuki has some family problem but I greatly doubt her father would kill her in the following week. Yuri has some dangerous habits but if she isn't excited and if Monika doesn't amplify her habits then there is no reason she would kill herself.
Never let Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri know that I am from another reality and that they are game characters. I don't know how they would react.
Never let anyone read the letter. Especially Monika.
To summarize it, I just need to make sure Monika loves me and doesn't feel the need to harm the other characters. I also need to check Sayori and to a much lesser extent the other characters. Humm it doesn't seem that complicated… Then again, they might complicate things at any moment…
After like an eternity, the school day was over. I stare at the door, waiting for Sayori's entrance.
She is coming.
Sayori: "Hellooo? Were you waiting for me?"
[Player]: "Yes, I was. Let's go the literature club!"
Sayori: "Eeeehhh? I didn't think you would be that excited! What has gotten into you I wonder…"
[Player]: "I'm just excited to start the first day of my first club in my life, that's all~"
Sayori: "Ehehe~I'm glad you feel like that! Let's go~!"
Sayori looks really happy. It really doesn't seem like she has chronic depression…Then again, what do I know of depression? I have never met someone like that…I hope I won't make a mistake.
And thus, today marks the day I did what all fans of DDLC dreamed of.
I follow Sayori across the school and upstairs. There aren't many people, or should I say scripts, in this area. We are coming closer to the club room. My heart is beating faster and faster. What will I say when I enter the room? Should I do just like what the protagonist did? No…I'm overthinking this. I should do what I feel like. I should just keep in mind my goals... Ahhh, I'm not ready.
Sayori, full of energy, swings open the classroom door.
Next Chapter: Literature Club
Chapter 2: Literature Club
Last updated: 01/01/2017, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
The moment has come.
Sayori: "Everyone! The new member is here~!"
I take a deep breath.
[Player]: "Hel-Hi everyone!"
Ah I messed up. I was too tensed…As I think that, I glance around the room. The room is just like in the game. More importantly, Yuri, Natsuki and Monika are all here in front of me.
Yuri: "Welcome to the Literature Club. It's a pleasure meeting you."
Yuri: "Sayori always says nice things about you."
Natsuki: "Seriously? You brought a boy?"
Natsuki: "Way to kill the atmosphere."
Huh? Monika is staring at me. She looks startled. Does she know something?
She is really charming by the way.
Monika: "Are you…is that really you?"
Did she already realize I'm not the original protagonist?
[Player]: "Well, I suppose I'm who I am? Anyway, nice to meet you all!"
I try to bring back the conversation on track. Now is not the time to break the fourth wall.
Monika: "...It's great to see you. Welcome to the club [Player]."
Monika looks like she wants to ask me more questions.
[Player]: "Let's keep the fourth wall breaking questions later Monika. So, about the club…"
I blink at Monika, hoping she gets the point.
Natsuki: "Do you two know each other already?"
Sayori: "They do! They were in the same class last year but…I don't think they knew each other well…"
[Player]: "Ahaha! Actually, I happened to meet Monika last week and we chatted a bit."
Natsuki: "So that's why you came here huh…"
[Player]: "No...? I mean, that's not my only reason."
Natsuki: "So, it's a reason!"
[Player]: "Even then, what's wrong in wanting to go inside a club to be with your friends?"
Even though Tsundere aren't my type, I will admit that Natsuki is quite cute.
Sayori: "You can just ignore her when she gets moody~"
Sayori: "Anyway! This is Natsuki, always full of energy."
Sayori: "And this is Yuri, the smartest in the club!"
Yuri: "D-don't say things like that…"
Honestly, if I have to say who is the most beautiful, then I would say Yuri. Her dark purple long and slender hair looks surreally beautiful now that I'm inside the game. Still, Monika is a close second.
[Player]: "Nice to meet you, Natsuki, Yuri. I hope we will get along well."
Sayori: "Come sit down, [Player]! We made room for you at the table, so you can sit next to me or Monika."
Sayori: "I'll get the cupcakes~!"
Natsuki: "Hey! I made them, I'll get them!"
Sayori: "Sorry, I got a little too excited~!"
Yuri: "Then, how about I make some tea as well?"
The girls have a few desks arranged to form a table.
As Sayori mentioned, it's been widened so that there is one space next to Monika and one space next to Sayori. Natsuki and Yuri walk over to the corner of the room, where Natsuki grabs a wrapped tray and Yuri opens the closet.
I look at Monika. She is looking at me expectantly.
Considering my goals, I should sit next to Monika but…
Ahh I'm so tensed! I would be happy to sit next to her but I'm so fluttered! The fact she is staring at me doesn't help.
I walk slowly toward the seat next to Monika, trying my best to look normal.
I finally sat down. Monika comes closer and whispers to my ear.
Monika: "How can you be here?"
I whisper her back.
[Player]: "I will explain everything after the club. For now, do as usual ok?"
Monika: "I'm happy you're here…"
I hope I'm not too red now… Monika goes back to her original position. As for the others…
Oh no, they are staring at us. Natsuki is standing in the middle of the room tray in hand and Yuri is observing us from the closet.
Sayori: "Ehehe~ [Player], you could have told me about her you know~"
Natsuki: "Hmpf. Are you finished yet?"
[Player]: "Wait a minute. Don't misunderstand, we just wanted to talk about something."
I beg Monika with my eyes to change the subject.
Monika: "Okay, everyone! Let's eat together these cupcakes!"
Natsuki is still pouting a bit. Shortly after, she comes to the makeshift table.
Natsuki: "Okaaay, are you ready?"
Natsuki lifts the foil off the tray to reveal a dozen white, fluffy cupcakes decorated to look like little cats. The whiskers are drawn with icing, and the little pieces of chocolate were used to make ears.
They actually look like the cutest and the most delicious cupcakes I have ever had the chance to see.
Ah my stomach is growling. That reminds me, I didn't eat yet…
… Come to think of it, how would food of a video game taste? I cannot wait to find out!
Sayori: "So cuuuute~!"
Monika: "I had no idea you were so good at baking, Natsuki!"
Natsuki: "Ehehe. Well, you know."
Natsuki: "Just hurry and take one!"
Sayori grabs one first, then Monika. I follow.
Will it taste like bread, rice, water, air, nothing? Or like a real delicious cupcake?
Sayori: "It's delicious!"
Sayori talks with her mouth full and has already managed to get icing on her face.
I turn the cupcake around in my fingers, testing its texture. So far, it really looks real.
I finally take a bite.
It's so deliciousssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! It's the best desert I have ever eaten for sure!
I hurriedly finish it.
Natsuki has very satisfied expression of her face.
[Player]: "...It's the most D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S cupcake in the worlds! Congratulation, Natsuki!"
Natsuki: "W-why are you thanking me? It's not like I…!"
Natsuki: "…Made them for you or anything."
I have to say, actually hearing a cute tsundere is something. I can see why many would like that kind of girls.
[Player]: "Of course, you made them for the club, right?"
Natsuki: "Y-yeah, I made them for the club! Understood?!"
[Player]: "Sure, tsundere-chan."
Natsuki: "Tsundere-…chan?! Who are you calling Tsundere?!"
[Player]: "Oh, so you know the meaning. I see, I see…"
Natsuki: "I…I'm not a tsundere!"
Wow Natsuki is so embarrassed her face is as red as a tomato. I kind of want to tease her more but I let it go for now.
Yuri returns to the table, carrying a tea set. She carefully places a teacup in front of each of us before setting down the teapot next to the cupcake tray. Everyone is now around the table.
Urg…I don't know what to say…I feel like I'm being watched. No, I'm being watched.
For now, let's see how this tea tastes.
I slowly take the cup in front of me and bring it to my mouth.
Yuri: "Maybe you should wai…"
I just managed to drink a bit. I couldn't taste well the tea because of it was too hot but I think it was like … green tea? I'm not really knowledgeable on tea. Anyway, it tastes good.
[Player]: "Ahaha yeah, I will wait a bit."
Ouch my tongue hurts…
Yuri: "Do you like tea?"
[Player]: "Yeah, I mean, I drink tea from time to time. What about you? It looks like tea is one of your hobbies."
Yuri: "It is! I especially like drinking tea while enjoying a good book."
[Player]: "I can see why it would be nice. I personally don't read books often, but I like drinking or eating while watching a film. I suppose the feeling is similar."
Yuri: "I see. What kind of things do you like to read?"
[Player]: "Ummm, I guess…I like reading manga and visual novels the most."
Natsuki's head suddenly perks up. I suppose she is looking forward to sharing her hobby with me.
Yuri: "Visual Novel? What are they?"
[Player]: "To make it simple, it's like an interactive book with pictures and sound. It's classified as one kind of video game."
Yuri: "It seems interesting."
Monika suddenly speaks up.
Monika: "What is your favorite visual novel then?"
Humm…what should I answer…I don't want to break the fourth wall yet but.
[Player]: "It's Doki Doki…something. Somehow, I can't remember the last part of the name…"
Natsuki: "How can you forget the title of your favorite thing?"
[Player]: "Ahah, well sometimes I just can't remember even the most obvious things…"
Monika: "It's ok! It happens to everyone. I kind of want to know, who was your favorite character of that game?"
[Player]: "A girl who was the president of a club. Now that I think about, she was a lot like you Monika."
Monika smiles sweetly at me. On the other hand, I feel some kind of icy wind coming from the other directions…
Monika: "Ehehe~ I'm glad to hear that."
Sayori: "Do you happen to know that game Monika?"
Monika: "Ahaha! Well, you could say so."
Sayori: "Ehhh~ I'm surprised. I thought you didn't play games."
Monika: "I don't usually play games, but I know this game because, well you know…"
I need to change the subject.
[Player]: "By the way Natsuki, you like manga, don't you?"
Natsuki: "Y-eah, yeah so what's about it?"
[Player]: "No need to be so defensive. There's nothing wrong in liking manga you know."
Natsuki: "I know that, manga is literature too!"
Monika: "That's right, you usually like to write about cute things, don't you Natsuki?"
Natsuki: "W-What? What gave you that idea?"
Monika: "You left a piece of scrap paper behind last club meeting."
Natsuki: "Don't say it out loud! And give that back!"
Monika: "Fine, fine~"
Sayori: "Ehehe, your cupcakes, your poems… Everything you do is just as cute as you are~"
Sayori sidles up behind Natsuki and puts her hands on her shoulders.
Natsuki: "I'm not cute!"
[Player]: "I think your reaction is counterproductive Natsuki."
Natsuki: "D-don't say it!"
Monika: "How about sharing your poem with our newer member?"
Natsuki: "He wouldn't…like them…"
[Player]: "No, at least, I'm quite sure I wouldn't dislike them."
Natsuki: "So, you would NOT like them!"
[Player]: "Ahaha, maybe? But I still want to read them."
Yuri: "I understand how Natsuki feels. Sharing that level of writing takes more than just confidence. The truest form of writing is writing to oneself. You must be willing to open up to your readers, exposing your vulnerabilities and showing even the deepest reaches of your heart."
Monika: "Do you have writing experience too, Yuri? Maybe if you share some of your work, you can set an example and help Natsuki feel comfortable enough to share hers."
[Player]: "If I was them, I would be a bit shy to share my poems…"
Sayori: "Aww…I wanted to read everyone's poems…"
Monika: "Okay! I have an idea, everyone~"
Everyone is listening. Natsuki and Yuri look quizzically at Monika.
Monika: "Let's all go home and write a poem of our own! Then, next time we meet, we'll all share them with each other. That way, everyone is even!"
Sayori: "Yeaaah! Let's do it!"
Monika: "Plus, now that we have a new member, I think it will help us all get a little more comfortable with each other, and strengthen the bond of the club. Isn't that right, [Player]?"
Monika smiles warmly at me once again.
[Player]: "I'm not really good at writing poems but…I will do my best!"
At least, I'm quite sure I cannot be worse than the original protagonist.
Monika: "Thank you! …Okay, everyone! I think with that, we can officially end today's meeting on a good note. Everyone remember tonight's assignment. Write a poem to bring to the next meeting, so we can all share!"
Monika looks over at me once more.
Monika: "[Player], I look forward to seeing how you express yourself. Ehehe~"
[Player]: "I do too."
I wonder how the poem minigame will turn out. Will I actually dream of words and then have to choose them? What happens if I don't write anything?
Monika: "Would you mind staying with me after the club is over? As the club president, I would like to have a private chat with you."
[Player]: "Perfect. I had the same idea."
Sayori: "Nooo~~, I wanted to invite you to walk home with me together this time…"
[Player]: "Ah sorry Sayori but I really would like to talk with Monika about something."
Sayori: "…But… now that we're finally in the same club, we can go home together at the same time…"
…Aww, poor Sayori…I don't want to make her sad but… clarifying my situation with Monika is the absolute most urgent matter.
[Player]: "Sorry Sayori, not today but…I promise I will more than make up for it the other days!"
Sayori: "Okay…Alright! Then see you tomorrow morning!"
[Player]: "See you tomorrow! Be careful ok?"
As she is leaving, she says.
Yuri and Natsuki are leaving too. They throw one last look in our direction.
I'm now alone with just Monika.
My heart is beating faster. Now is the moment of truth.
Monika is the first one to speak.
Monika: "How can you be here? You were supposed to play the game, not be inside it!"
She is not angry. She is just very excited.
[Player]: "Well it turns out some things like gods exist in my reality. For some reasons, they threw me into the game."
Monika: "Gods? I'm…not that surprised. Anyway, I'm so glad to meet you! When you downloaded the game, I was already looking forward to meeting you, but to think I could meet you in person…"
[Player]: "Ahaha, me too. I wanted to meet you in real life…uh... I mean…wait, what's going on?"
The world is darkening.
Monika: "No! The script is separating us!"
It's almost dark now. I try to say one last thing.
[Player]: "Meet me tomorrow at the cafeteria for lunch!"
Then everything fades to black.
It's time to write a poem! Pick words you think your favorite club member will like. Something good might happen with whoever likes your poem the most!
Next Chapter: Night Visit
Chapter 3: Night Visit
Last updated: 01/01/2017, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
I heard this message in my head.
I don't know where I am. I don't know what is happening.
I cannot feel my body so well. My vision is blurry. All I can see is…
A cute notebook. The same book that we see in the DDLC's poem minigame. There is a pen in my hand. Then there are words floating in my mind. I cannot see them, but I can feel them. I feel like I have to write one of them on the book.
I'm not fully conscious. It's like a dream. I don't know what I'm doing.
I accept a word, "love" and write it. At the same time, I feel that this word will somehow make Sayori happy.
New words appear. They are floating in my mind.
This time, I accept "infinity" then I move my hand. I feel like Yuri likes it.
New words come to my mind and I choose "promise". Sayori likes it.
New words surface…
What am I doing…?
I choose "dream" and I feel that Yuri appreciates it.
Dream…what am I doing?
New words. New choices.
"Can you hear me?"
I move my hand to write "dream" but stop midway.
What the hell am I doing?
My consciousness is increasing.
Where am I?
A dream? I'm dreaming.
Really? Then why I'm sitting?
"Hey, I'm getting scared. Answer me please."
Why do I have a pen in my hand? Why is there a book in front of me?
And more importantly, why I keep writing those words!
This…is the DDLC's poem minigame!
I'm scripted to do it!
I will never accept that!
I reject every word and move my hand to write a sentence.
As I look as my notebook,
Emerald green colored eyes.
OH MY GOD. TERRIFIED, I FALL FROM MY CHAIR.
BEFORE MY CHAIR HIT THE GROUND. SOMEONE HOLDS IT.
I'm extremely startled.
?: "Are you okay? Answer me [Player]! Please!"
I know this voice.
It's Monika. She holds my head into her hands and looks at me very worriedly.
Monika: "Can you understand me?"
She is scared too.
[Player]: "…Yeah…wait…give me a moment."
I'm reassured that there is a familiar face here, but I'm still greatly troubled…"
Her hands are holding my cheeks. They're warm…I try to think logically.
[Player]: "First…Where am I?"
Monika: "You are in your house…or should I say the protagonist's house."
Monika now looks less worried, compared to before.
[Player]: "Ok…When it is? What hour is it?"
Monika: "It's 4 past midnight. Do you remember what happened?"
[Player]: "Maybe. I think I know what happened."
I inhale deeply. Reassured, she takes her hands off me and backs away a bit. I'm still sitting in my chair while she is standing in front of me.
[Player]: "Yesterday, after the club, we talked with each other and the game separated us."
Monika: "That's correct."
[Player]: "Then I was probably teleported here, in this room. At the same time, my consciousness was probably switched off."
Monika: "When I entered your room, you were writing something on your notebook…"
[Player]: "I'm not sure, but I think I was sleepwalking. I wasn't conscious. It was like a dream. I guess it's because of the DDLC's poem mini-game."
Monika: "The DDLC's poem mini-game?"
I stand up.
[Player]: "Doki Doki Literature Club' s poem mini-game. The player plays this mini-game each night to get affection for Sayori, Natsuki or Yuri. Do you get what I mean?"
Monika: "…Yeah, I understand. But this mini-game was supposed to be played from outside the game so…by the way, you told me you were transported here by some gods, right?"
[Player]: "That's right. Before I go further, there is something bothering me right now. How come you're here?"
Monika: "I was teleported home just like you after the club ended. But unlike you, I kept consciousness. I couldn't stop thinking about you and what you said…so I ended up going into your house this night. But when I arrived…"
It seems like Monika was really worried me, especially when she saw me writing things, I wonder why. But how did she find this place…Well she can see the files, so I guess she can know everything.
[Player]: "I see. Thank you for coming, Monika, it was terrifying to not be in control of your own thoughts and body. Let's sit on the bed."
I point her the bed. We walk together and sit on it. There is a little space between us. I'm getting a bit flustered but not much because the terror caused by the sudden awakening is still lingering.
Monika: "Sorry for waking you up that way…It looks like I scared you…"
[Player]: "It's not really your fault…You tried calling me first but it didn't work so it cannot be helped."
Monika: "Thanks [Player]…How should I call you by the way? [Player] is not your real name, is it?"
[Player]: "No, it is. It seems like the 'gods' entered my real name in the game. You can call me like that, I don't mind Monika."
We're alone in the room. The door and the window are closed. The room is illuminated by a lamp fixed to the ceiling giving a orangish light. It kinds of make me remember the atmosphere of the space classroom. Me and Just Monika.
Monika: "So, who are these gods you talked about?"
[Player]: "I don't know much about them. Yesterday…was it yesterday? I'm not sure how time passes here versus in my world. Anyway, yesterday, I finally finished Doki Doki Literature Club. After the credits, I got a weird popup message asking me if I knew about the simulation theory. Have you heard of it?"
Monika: "No, I didn't. What is it?"
[Player]: "It basically says it's almost sure we, I mean me and the people in my world, are living in a simulation. If we are not living in a simulation, the theory says humanity will never be advanced enough to develop realistic simulation and/or never develop a realistic simulation because of ethical reasons. Well I won't go into details here. The gist of it is that the popup window said we were in a simulation and that I had been granted the unique opportunity to be transported into this world. I thought the windows were just parts of the game to scare me and to break the fourth wall but I was proven wrong shortly after."
Monika: "You said the windows popped up after you finished the game but I feel like you downloaded the game yesterday. I didn't feel you playing the game before that."
I'm getting a bit cold. I want to cover myself with the blanket but Monika is sitting on it. Maybe we could share it together…No way, we're not that close yet.
[Player]: "Right. What happened yesterday, at the literature club, was the beginning of the game. In the original game, the story lasts one week…or rather 2 weeks. So, I wasn't transported to the end of the game but rather at the beginning. Uh, when you say "feel", what do you feel exactly? Can you still feel there's a player playing the game?"
Monika: "Yes and no. I still feel like there is something outside of the game, outside of the game's files, who is influencing the world but…I feel like the source is you. Your presence is similar to what I felt when you downloaded the game."
Should I ask her to share the blanket?
[Player]: "I see. It's a bit difficult to understand. Right now, can you tell whether my computer is running?"
Monika: "Yeah, I feel it. Your computer didn't stop running since you downloaded the game. But…you're right, something is off. Maybe this world is no longer run by your computer."
[Player]: "I don't think it is. There is no way my computer is powerful enough to host artificial intelligences. I think this world is now an independent universe."
I wonder. What would it feel like if I hold her hand? I feel we got a little closer since the beginning of our chat.
Monika: "Artificial intelligence? Are you talking about me?"
[Player]: "You and me. If I'm really inside the game, inside a computer, then the most logical explanation is that I was converted into an A.I and put into the game. Considering your answers, you're an A.I as well. But there's no way my computer could have the processing power for that."
Monika: "I see. I think you're right. But I cannot answer your question. By the way… aren't you cold? Maybe we could share the blanket. I saw you glancing at it."
[Player]: "Yeah, that would be great, but we will have to be closer to share it…you don't mind?"
Monika: "Ehehe~Are you shy? Aww, you're so cute~"
[Player]: "Not at all! I just want to hear your opinion first!"
Wait, I'm becoming a Natsuki? Oh...
Monika: "I'm just teasing you~ Of course I don't mind. After all…"
Her emerald eyes are looking straight at mine. Her cheeks are slightly red. She is only a dozen centimeters away from me. As her hand covers mine, she says…
Monika: "I love you [Player]."
My heart skipped a bit. I knew she would fall in love with me, the player, eventually but not so fast. How should I respond? I definitely like her but do I love her? Yesterday, I decided I would romance Monika so that she doesn't feel jealous and eliminate the other girls but now that I'm in front of her, I don't want to lie.
I hold her hand.
[Player]: "I like you very much but…"
She slowly takes back her hand.
Monika: "Ahaha, sorry forget what I just said! I was just kidding!"
She is looking the opposite direction. Aww, Monika…
[Player]: "Don't misunderstand Monika, I didn't reject you, I'm just saying it's a bit too fast…After all I only know you, I mean the real you, since yesterday."
I hold her hand. She once again looks at me.
[Player]: "Yes. Don't worry, I won't hate you or avoid you or anything like that. I want to know more about you Monika."
Monika: "Thanks. I want to learn more about you, and your reality too. I have so many things I want to ask! Also, I know you will fall in love with me soon ehehe~"
Monika flashes a sweet smile at me! Critical hit!
[Player]: "Ahaha, we will see~"
She's probably right.
[Player]: "By the way, about the blanket…"
Monika: "You want to use it?"
It looks like Monika found back her cheerfulness.
Monika: "Ok, I will help you."
We stand up, take the blanket, sit down on the bed and put it around us.
Our shoulders are touching… I really would like to be closer but…I can't, can I? I just rejected her.
Do I already love her? How could it be? I just met yesterday. It's true, she's beautiful, charming, cute, smart, affectionate and…Ahhh, maybe I'm not honest with myself.
Monika: "About your current body, is it the same as in your reality?"
[Player]: "Close but not exactly. In reality, I'm [older/younger] so my current body is pretty much a [younger/older] version of me."
She's so close to me. Her eyes are really beautiful…
Monika: "Before I met you yesterday afternoon, I always wondered how you looked like…You look even cuter than what I thought!"
[Player]: "Ahah, thanks I guess? You too look much cuter than in the game."
I'm still holding her hand. Ah jeez, it's as if we were already a couple.
Monika: "So, I guess it worked out for the both of us. Can I ask you something?"
[Player]: "Of course."
Monika: "Do…you have a girlfriend in your reality?"
[Player]: "… No."
Her face lifts up even more.
Monika: "I'm glad…"
She slowly lets her head rest on my shoulder, checking for any adverse reaction. I don't resist. I know I shouldn't do that, after all I said I didn't love her but…
We stay silently in this position for a while…Enjoying the present.
I'm getting sleepy…
I feel like there is something I'm forgetting…One of my goals…
[Player]: "I'm getting sleepy…"
Monika: "Me too…"
I remember what happened after the club. I lost consciousness and lost free will at the same time…I don't want to ever feel that way again…I'm afraid to sleep now.
Monika: "I'm listening."
[Player]: "About what happened earlier, when I wrote words in the notebook while still sleeping…Do you understand what happened?"
Monika: "I don't…I can't see you in the game's files. You shouldn't be affected by scripts so I don't really understand how the poem minigame took control of you."
[Player]: "Hummm. I think it was because I was sleeping…Can you try something?"
Monika: "Okay, what should I do?"
[Player]: "Try making me choose between two choices. Like try opening a window box with a question and two answers."
Monika: "I can try but…I think I might make a mistake. I might break the script…"
[Player]: "I see, in that case, it's better if you don't try anything. Now that I'm inside the game, I don't know what will happen if the script is broken…I will try something instead."
I leave, with difficulty, the bed and walk toward the desk and the notebook. I took the pen and prepare to finish the poem.
Monika: "What are you doing?"
[Player]: "If my theory is correct, the script can still influence me but not completely, unless I'm not conscious."
I begin to write…
The poem minigame is appearing in my mind. I see the words and I feel like I should choose one of them but contrary to last time, the feeling is much weaker. Instead of an order, it's more like a suggestion. I can easily ignore it.
I write "No one can decide for me. I'm my own master" …
New words appear but I ignore them.
[Player]: "Alright. It seems like I'm right. The choices the game give me are like suggestions and I can ignore them, except when I'm unconscious like last time."
Monika: "I'm relieved! I was afraid you would lose your free will and become a script like the others…"
[Player]: "Me too…Not being in control of your own body and will is really disturbing you know..."
I'm finishing the poem.
"I will even stand up to gods"
"More than script, I have freewill"
"Infinite choice are before me"
"I shall not follow the rail"
"I will make my way"
"To my endless destination"
Now that I have finished the poem, no more words are floating in my mind. It seems like the poem minigame is finished. Sigh. I'm so bad at writing…even worse at writing poems...I don't really want to show it to anyone…
Monika: "Oh interesting! I like it!"
I'm slightly started, Monika is looking at my poem over my shoulder.
[Player]: "Really? I don't think it's good though. At least, I don't think it's a good poem."
Monika: "Why do you think that?"
[Player]: "What I wrote is basically just prose. There is no rhythm, no metaphor, no deep meaning…Just like normal sentences."
Monika: "Poems don't have to be like that you know. Some can be written in a simple style, like Natsuki's poems. I believe every poem is good in its own way. For example, in the case of your poem, I like the clear and powerful message its gives. Your poem is about you fighting the script, isn't it?"
[Player]: "You're right. But it's more general than this. It's not just about fighting the script but also about fighting the "gods" that brought me into this place. I'm sure they are observing me right now enjoying my reactions and my troubles. I refuse to be their plaything. That's the main meaning of my poem."
I stand up and go back toward the bed. Monika follows me and we're back to the same position as before.
Monika: "It seems like you really don't like them, the beings that brought you into this world…"
[Player]: "… Well, I don't like the fact I didn't even have a choice."
Though to be fair, they did warn me but I didn't believe the warning at first.
Monika: "I don't know how you feel but…I'm very happy you're with me right now."
[Player]: "I'm certainly happy to have met you but I'm worried about my world. While I'm away here, what is happening in my reality? My friends and my family should be so worried…"
Monika: "Sorry... I forgot to think of your relatives. It must be hard for you."
[Player]: "It is. I don't know whether I will ever be able to go back to my world."
Monika: "Do you want to go back your world?"
I can tell Monika is anxious. I suppose I should say no for my goals but once again I cannot bring myself to lie.
[Player]: "I want to. I like you Monika, and this world is interesting too but, this isn't my world and there are people waiting for me…"
Monika suddenly hugs me and whispers in a frail voice:
Monika: "If you leave me, I…"
[Player]: "I can't…anyway, for now you don't have to worry about that. I don't think they will bring me to my reality anytime soon."
She's still hugging me. She's so warm…I'm tempted to hug her back.
Monika: "How can you know that? Maybe you will disappear in the next minute!"
I know that because of the letter, but I definitely cannot tell her!
[Player]: "I don't have proof, but it doesn't make sense for them to put me here and send me back without something interesting happening first."
Monika: "I guess... you're right…You know, you are truly the light of my world... It was already the case before you were physically in the game but now, you are even more than that…I really really don't want you to leave me!"
She hugs tighter. I finally hug her back.
[Player]: "If I have the choice, I won't leave you anytime soon I promise."
Then Monika says in a small voice:
Monika: "So, you will leave me later…"
I don't answer.
[Player]: "I'm getting really sleepy…Where are you going to sleep? Are you going home?"
Monika: "Can I stay here? Please."
[Player]: "I knew you would say that. Alright, you can stay here. The bed is big enough for two persons."
Monika: "Ehhh…You won't do anything perverse, will you?"
[Player]: "No way."
Monika: "Ahaha I'm joking. I know that you're a good person."
[Player]: "If you say so."
I stand up and prepare the bed.
[Player]: "I will sleep on the right side, next to the window."
[Player]: "There's one condition though. You need to go to school before me and Sayori. I don't want her to see us going out of the house together."
Monika: "…Why do you care? She isn't your childhood friend. She isn't even a person."
[Player]: "She IS a person. Not as sentient as us but still. Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki are capable of independent thoughts."
Monika: "They are not. They are just autonomous personalities designed to fall in love with you…"
[Player]: "They are more than that…Anyways, let's talk about it tomorrow. I cannot think well. Don't hurt them ok?"
Monika: "Why would I hurt them? Even if they are not real, they are still my friends."
[Player]: "Alright then…"
I pull the blanket over me.
[Player]: "Seems like we need to be close to share the blanket…"
Monika: "…Like this?"
Her back is against me.
Aren't we exactly like a couple already?!
Oh whatever. I just want to sleep.
Monika: "I wish I could be with you forever…"
[Player]: "Monika…If I sleep walk again or if I'm acting weird, please wake me up ok?"
Monika: "Sure...my love."
…Maybe…I'm already in love with her…
Next Chapter: Turning Point
Chapter 4: Turning Point
Author's notes : The first three chapters of this story were written and published in November 2017. At that time, I decided to drop the story. HOWEVER, thanks to the moving encouragement of some readers, I decided to continue (and finish) it in December 2017. Please keep this in mind as you read this chapter.
Last updated: 03/01/2017, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
I am in an endless space of pure white. The whole world is flat and empty. There is no sky nor sun.
Where am I?
The last thing I remember was sleeping beside Monika…Is this a dream?
I check my surrounding and my body.
Everything looks real…Did I get transported to another world?
?: "Welcome dear [Player]!"
I turn to my head to the direction of the sound. I have never heard of that voice before…or rather, those voices. It was like an amalgamation of several male voices. I see the being who spoke. He is a multi-colored shadow whole silhouette vaguely resembles the one of a man.
[Player]: "Let me guess. You are the things that sent me to DDLC, aren't you?"
Them: "Correct! We are glad you quickly understood the situation!"
Them: "Then again, that is one of the reasons we chose you."
[Player]: "What do you want?"
I cut them off. I hate them. They broke my life and although I am glad to have been able to meet the girls and Monika, who knows what is happening in my world? They kidnapped me not for any good cause but just for mere entertainment!
Them: "Straight to the point I see. But there is no need to hurry! We have all the time in the world!"
Their voice is overflowing with sarcasm...They are totally playing with me.
[Player]: "Speaking about time, is the time in my world currently stopped? What is happening over there while I am in DDLC?"
Them: "Let us first answer your first question. The current universe exists outside of time. Nothing is currently happening either in DDLC or in your word. As for your second question, the answer is... maybe?!"
[Player]: "What do you mean by 'maybe'? You're the one…or at least one of the ones who controls my universe and DDLC, right? Then you should know how time in DDLC flows relative to my world."
Them: "Of course! There is not a single thing we do not know! But telling you would spoil the surprise, wouldn't it?"
I expected that answer but damn it, they are so irritating!
Them: "Do not be so angry. We are pretty generous, you know? We could have sent you to a much, much more horrible place than DDLC."
I guess they have a point.
[Player]: "Fine. Anyway, you didn't bring me here for no reason. Once again, what do you want?"
Them: "Well, well, we just want to tell you two news! One bad, one good! Which do you wish to hear first?"
[Player]: "It doesn't matter anyways. Say the bad new first."
Them: "Okay! We will then say the good news first!"
[Player]: "Hey, are you listening to me?"
Them: "Of course! But listening and agreeing are two different matters!"
Oh right, I should have known better. They just do whatever the hell they want.
Them: "The good news is that your universe, as well as DDLC, will not be deleted! Your story has proven to be entertaining enough!"
Them: "The bad news is that we decided to make your story much more unpredictable! We did some modifications to DDLC, we are sure you are going to be very interested by them!"
In the worst way I guess.
[Player]: "I don't suppose you would tell me what you changed?"
Them: "Actually we can tell you! We increased the sentience of the girls and we gave one of them a special letter, just like yours! It is up to you to discover who is that girl and what is the content of the letter!"
[Player]: "By girl, do you mean Monika, Natsuki, Yuri, Sayori?"
Them: "One of them, yes!"
[Player]: "You're not going to tell me who exactly, are you…Ok fine. So, I guess I must discover that girl and read the letter, right?"
Them: "Of course not! You are free to do whatever you like! We all have free will after all!"
[Player]: "Very funny. I want to ask you some questions, but you aren't going to answer them anyway, or am I wrong?"
Them: "Maybe! Maybe not! Who knows what the future holds?!"
I really, really hate them.
[Player]: "Here goes nothing. I want to confirm the content of the letter you gave me. If Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri, Monika or me dies before the festival, I will be stuck forever in this world, right?"
Am I dreaming? Did I finally get a 'yes' instead of a 'maybe' or a 'possibly?'
[Player]: "Second question. What is happening in my world while I'm in DDLC? What happened to my body? I already asked you that question, but I want the answer."
Them: "Alright. Let us grace you with our answer. While you are in DDLC, 74 68 65 20 74 69 6d 65 20 69 6e 20 79 6f 75 72 20 77 6f 72 6c 64 20 61 64 76 61 6e 63 65 73 20 61 74 20 74 68 65 20 73 61 6d 65 20 72 61 74 65 2e 20 41 66 74 65 72 20 79 6f 75 20 77 65 72 65 20 74 72 61 6e 73 70 6f 72 74 65 64 20 74 6f 20 44 44 4c 43 2c 20 79 6f 75 72 20 6f 72 69 67 69 6e 61 6c 20 62 6f 64 79 20 73 74 61 79 65 64 20 74 68 65 72 65 2e 20 59 6f 75 20 61 72 65 20 63 75 72 72 65 6e 74 6c 79 20 69 6e 20 61 20 63 6f 6d 6d 61 2c 20 69 6e 20 61 20 68 6f 73 70 69 74 61 6c 20 72 6f 6f 6d 2e 20 49 66 20 79 6f 75 20 64 69 65 20 69 6e 20 44 44 4c 43 20 6f 72 20 73 74 75 63 6b 20 66 6f 72 65 76 65 72 2c 20 79 6f 75 72 20 6f 72 69 67 69 6e 61 6c 20 62 6f 64 79 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 20 74 68 65 6e 20 64 69 65 20 61 6e 64 20 79 6f 75 72 20 77 6f 72 6c 64 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 20 63 6f 6e 74 69 6e 75 65 20 61 73 20 6e 6f 72 6d 61 6c 2c 20 77 69 74 68 6f 75 74 20 79 6f 75 2e."
I hear a very quick succession of pairs of numbers and letters. I can't understand them at all.
[Player]: "What was that?!"
Them: "We just told you the answer you were seeking for! How could you waste our generosity?"
[Player]: "You know what I mean. I just heard a long succession of incomprehensible numbers and letters."
Them: "Incomprehensible? Oh, it is such a pity you cannot understand hexadecimal…Well, you just wasted your unique opportunity!"
[Player]: "Are you kidding me? As if there would be any human able to understand that!"
Them: "Please do not assume everyone is as stupid as you!"
I seriously want to punch the shadow right now.
Them: "Any questions?"
Them: "Are you sure? Not everyone can have the once in a lifetime chance to ask questions to gods!"
[Player]: "Yeah. We both know you are either going to answer my question vaguely or in a way I cannot understand."
Them: "We see…We will then leave you alone. We may meet another night. Do you have any last words?"
Them: "We are listening."
[Player]: "Screw you. I won't let the future go your way."
Them: "Ahaha! Of course! Your futile fight is what makes the story interesting! Please, struggle as much as you can!"
The world fades to black.
I slowly open my eyes.
Where am I?
I feel I am lying on an unfamiliar bed. I see that I am in a room. But it isn't mine.
That's right. It's the original protagonist's room.
There is a person looking at me with two enthralling green eyes.
Monika: "Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"
This is Monika. The main heroine/antagonist of DDLC and the girl I may already love. She is already in her school uniform.
Of course, she is. She slept with me in the same clothes last night.
Despite the uneasiness of waking up in a different room, worse a different world, Monika's presence calms my anxiety. While smiling I say:
[Player]: "Good morning Monika. I…had an interesting dream. What time is it?"
Monika: "It's 7:10. Don't worry, there are still 50 minutes left before school."
[Player]: "Thank you."
I get up and sit on the bed.
Should I tell her about my dream? Yes, I should.
Monika: "I'm sorry for skipping straight to a serious matter first thing in the morning but, we need to talk about the game. Something happened while we were sleeping."
Does she know?
I clear up what was left of my sleepiness.
I need to focus
[Player]: "I want to talk about that too. First, let's hear what you saw."
Monika: "'Saw'? Can you see the game files too?"
[Player]: "No, I can't…Then I guess…so what happened? Was something added or something?"
Monika: "Nothing was added. On the other hand, several files were modified. The character files and a file named 'world'."
I urge her on to continue.
Monika: "The files grew in size and not by a little. Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri's character files are now over 10 terabytes! My own character file is about one hundred times bigger, equal to 1 petabytes. The file 'world', which is a binary file, is several 'ZB'. Ahaha, it's a bit embarrassing but I don't know how much is one 'ZB'…"
[Player]: "One 1 ZB is …"
It takes me a bit of time to remember.
[Player]: "1,000,000,000 petabytes. Hmm, it goes like this: one gigabyte is one billion bytes. One terabyte is 1000 gigabytes. One petabyte is 1000 terabytes. One exabyte is 1000 petabytes. One zettabyte is 1000 exabytes. Finally, one yottabyte is 1000 zettabytes."
Monika: "So, basically one zettabytes is one million of million of million of million of bytes?"
[Player]: "Yeah, to make it short, it's 10E24 bytes. You know the scientific notation, right?"
Monika: "Of course! Even if my forte is literature, I'm still very good at math and programming, you know!"
[Player]: "As expected from the top honor student of the school!"
Huh, we got a little sidetracked.
Monika: "So, does the new file size mean that the game became much more realistic?"
[Player]: "Probably yes. About the character files, their size is now comparable to the estimated total memory capacity of a human brain, which is several petabytes, I think...I can't remember where I read that."
Monika: "In other words, does it mean the club members are now like real humans?"
[Player]: "More like near human-like A.I I guess, like me and you. Did you try to check what was inside the files?"
Monika: "I did but it's way too complex. There are an unimaginable number of lines. Let me take a look again…"
[Player]: "If the file size is several terabytes then it's going to take years to read them…"
Monika: "Oh no. How could I miss that…?"
Monika: "There is a python line near the beginning of each character file, except mine."
I wait for her to continue. After breathing in deeply, she says:
Monika: "At the beginning of Sayori's file, there is "$ sayori_depression_level = 11". At the beginning of Yuri's file, there is "$ yuri_self_harm_level = 11". In the case of Natsuki, there is "$ natsuki_abuse_level = 11"..."
Monika: "Do you understand the meaning of these lines?"
[Player]: "In the original game, during the first act, Sayori had depression, Yuri had problems with knives and self-harm and Natsuki had problems with her dad. Near the end of the first act of the game, you…No, the Monika in that game amplified their problem to push them to suicide, so as to be with me."
Monika: "I…I really did that?"
[Player]: "That Monika did at least. Well don't worry about it. I won't judge you for that. I knew that back then everything, including that Monika, was a script. The point is, the variables you saw are probably the ones used to set the gravity of their problems. And now they are way above one."
I start to get up. There is no time to lose.
Monika: "Oh my god…I will try to edit the files and set the values to one!"
[Player]: "Good idea!"
Monika: "'Access denied'. I can't edit the files! I'm trying but…"
As I feared. It is surely their doing. If she could edit the files, that would be too easy, too boring, huh…
Monika: "Sorry, it looks like I don't have the permission anymore. I can read them, create new files, or even delete them but I can't edit existing files!"
[Player]: "It's probably their fault. I mean, the fault of the 'gods' who brought me here."
Monika: "Why would they do that?!"
[Player]: "To make the story more interesting or something…I met them last night. But we don't have the time to talk about that now. We must hurry! The girls might die at any moment! I don't know how high the value of their problems was in the game but…11 might be so high it might cause Sayori and Yuri to commit suicide and Natsuki to be beaten to death by her dad right now!"
I am getting ready to rush to Sayori's house.
Monika: "Oh my god…"
I am opening the door.
Monika: "Wait, first let's try calling them!"
I stop and take my smartphone, or should I say, the original protagonist's smartphone, out of my school bag. I found it yesterday morning when I examined what was inside my bag. There is next to no application on it. I can only call and message people with it. There is only one contact registered: Sayori.
Monika: "I will try calling Sayori first."
[Player]: "Wait, I think it's better if I try to call her myself."
Because I'm supposed to be her best friend.
I push the button to call Sayori. We anxiously wait for her answer.
Cold sweat progressively creeps up my neck, then my back. My heart is beating faster and faster. My face is getting redder and my fingers are trembling. 5,10,20,30 seconds pass and I can't stop myself from imagining the worst.
Monika: "I will try calling Yuri!"
30 seconds later, there is still no answer from either Sayori or Yuri.
I am doing my best not to panic, but it is pointless. My heart is beating so fast I can even feel it.
Monika: "She isn't replying!"
I can't wait anymore.
[Player]: "I'm going to Sayori's house right now! Try calling Natsuki and going to their houses!"
I don't even bother taking my bag or the vest of my school uniform. I open my bedroom and quickly rush downstairs. Just after I leave the room, a letter appears in my hand!
What the hell?!
I suddenly remember their warning: "It also cannot be more than 5 meters away from you! If the distance becomes more than 5 meters, then this letter will automatically appear in your hand!".
Shit, I totally forgot about it!
After I read the letter yesterday, I put it back into my bag but due to the fact I left without taking my bag, the letter appeared in my hand.
I hurriedly hide it in my trousers and check if Monika saw it. Fortunately, she was still inside my room and thus couldn't see it.
Monika calls me from my room:
Monika: "Hold on, we don't even know our phone numbers!"
I ponder for a bit. We should exchange our numbers to contact each other but I cannot cool down the raging fear inside of me.
[Player]: "Sorry but each second counts! Ok, just wait here, I will come back in 5 minutes!"
She says something, but I don't pay attention. I am already downstairs, in front of the entrance door. I open it brutally, without caring in the slightest about any damage. I exit and turn right. Sayori's house is just there. I don't even have shoes but that doesn't matter. I can't feel any pain, any tiredness, any coldness, anything. Everything is crushed by the fear of the imminent death.
I have to make it on time!
I reach Sayori's house and open the door at once.
It cannot be already over!
I scream Sayori's name. No answer.
"The bad news is that we decided to make your story much more unpredictable!" This is what they said but…!
I finally reach her bedroom's door. Without hesitation, I open it wide open and…
Next chapter: Glitch
Chapter 5: Glitch
Last updated: 07/01/2017, special thanks to DA AIMERABLE and SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
I finally reach Sayori's bedroom door. Without hesitation, I open it wide open and…
Sayori is still alive.
She's sitting on her bed, with her back against the wall. She is wrapped in her blanket and is hugging a big yellow bird plushie closely to her chest.
It's just like the one that was on Sayori's bedroom window in the game.
Her face and her eyes seem devoid of any emotion at first glance but, on a closer look, I can see that they are expressing deep sadness. She is staring at a picture that she is holding on her hand.
I try to call her gently, but she doesn't seem to hear me.
This scene was never shown in the original game. Could it be why she doesn't reply? Because this scene is outside of the script, and thus is undefined?
I slowly move inside the room. I walk over to Sayori and look at the picture.
It's a picture of a boy with Sayori. The boy looks exactly like me when I was in middle school. Sayori is seen holding the yellow bird with a cheerful smile. The boy has a triumphant expression. They are inside an arcade center and in front of a machine where you insert coins to move a robotic arm in the hope of catching something.
The boy must be the original protagonist. But why does he look exactly like me? It cannot be a coincidence, can it? More likely, he was created to resemble me when this world was made. The picture shows that the plushie Sayori is holding right now was won and given to her by the main character. Considering how dearly she is hugging the plushie, and how deeply she stares at the picture, that plushie must be very precious to her…
Sadness is slowly replacing the fear I felt moments ago.
But I'm not him. The original protagonist is gone and will never come back.
I need to go back to Monika. I told her I would be back in 5 minutes and it has already been 4 minutes. But can I really leave Sayori alone?
I come closer to Sayori and move my arm to gently touch her shoulder.
The moment I touch her…
A loud white-like noise erupts in my ears. But it's not coming from outside but from the inside of my head. It resonates inside each of my brain cells. As for what I see…
A gruesome and bloody mess of body parts. A jumbled massacre of boxes, darker than the deepest darkness. An incomprehensible sight. A beating heart cut in half, overflowing with blood. A sickening, light pink intestine cut into several pieces. One quarter of a brain where her right hand should be. Ear instead of mouth, eyes instead of ears. Organs and blood floating in space, with pixelated black boxes between each part.
This horrifying picture was like the one in DDLC, at the beginning of Act 2, when Sayori's sprite tries to show up even though she was completely deleted. Except in this more complete world, the anatomy of her body is realistic, so we can see the inside of her body between each black box. Worse, we can even see the blood flowing, her muscles contracting and her heart beating…
The view is too horrible. Too sudden. Too incomprehensible. Too gruesome.
All thoughts stop. Pure terror paralyzes every one of my muscles.
And then the abomination moves.
SayORI: "[P1Ay3r]?! wHy Ar3Y0u H3rE?"
Her voice is monstrous.
I can barely understand it.
Survival instinct kicks in.
Adrenaline rushes into my brain.
I finally break through my paralysis.
I run away. As fast as I can.
I don't know. I don't understand. What was in front of me. What happened.
That's why I run. I run because I cannot comprehend the thing in front of me.
Thus, I perceive it as an unstoppable threat.
I leave the room and go downstairs but…
I'm too fast, too careless and trip midway.
My body violently hits the stairs. Instinctively, I protect my head with my arms. I roll several times before stopping at the bottom of the stairs.
I'm still conscious, but stunned.
I'm still overwhelmed by dread.
I order my body to get up. I try to use my right arm to support myself, but it's not responding. I cannot feel it or move it.
I ignore it and use my other members to get up.
I hear Sayori screaming my name. I look at her and there isn't any glitch anymore.
She quickly runs downstairs.
Sayori: "ARE YOU OK?!"
She stops in front of me. I use the wall to support myself.
Now that the incomprehensible threat has disappeared, the terror is fading, and my muscles are somehow beginning to lose strength.
I become increasingly aware of my pain.
I weakly call her.
Sayori: "I…I'll call an ambulance!"
I can't let her do that.
[Player]: "Don't! I... I'm fine…Just a bit shocked. That's all. There's no need to call …. them."
I need to meet Monika and check on Yuri and Natsuki. I can't be stuck in the hospital now.
I hear another girl calling me from behind.
Monika: "[Player]! What happened!?"
Monika's at the front door and is holding her phone. She's coming closer and looks very worried.
[Player]: "Monika...don't worry, I'm mostly fine. I just fell off some stairs…I think I should sit down…"
Sayori: "There's a sofa in the living room. This way!"
Sayori guides me to the living room. Monika follows us.
As we go inside the living room, I notice there is indeed a sofa. However, the room is completely empty besides it.
How come the sofa is the only thing there? There was no CG of this living room in the game, so that would explain why it's empty, but in that case, why is there even a sofa?
Sayori asks Monika:
Sayori: "Why are you here Monika?"
Monika looks at Sayori and then at me, expecting some kinds of tips from me to provide a good reason, but I can't seem think straight right now.
Monika: "After our meeting yesterday, [Player] and I decided to meet each other this morning to discuss about literature. I was on my way to his house when I saw him running into yours…"
Monika: "Anyways, [Player], what happened, exactly? I sensed something changed with the files."
I sit down on the sofa.
Sayori: "'The files'? What are you talking about?"
Monika and I ignore Sayori for now.
[Player]: "There was a glitch. An absolutely terrifying glitch. I panicked, ran away and tripped. What about Natsuki and Yuri?"
Monika: "Yuri didn't answer, but I managed to get in touch with Natsuki and convinced her to go early to school while her dad was still sleeping."
I breathe a sigh of relief.
At least, Natsuki is safe for now.
[Player]: "Thanks. Yuri shouldn't be in immediate danger for now."
Yuri's self-harm is mostly triggered by her sexual excitation. I don't think she will seriously harm herself spontaneously.
Sayori: "What are you two talking about? What do you mean by glitch?"
We both don't know what to answer.
Sayori: "What happened with Natsuki and Yuri?"
Sayori's voice is getting more and more worried.
Sayori: "Why did you suddenly come to wake me up and ran away terrified when I touched you?!"
Finally, Sayori asks us in a louder voice mixed with tears and anger:
Sayori: "What are you two hiding from me!?"
Monika and I are looking at each other and Sayori. What should we say? Should we make up a lie? Should we say the truth?
We cannot mess this up.
Sayuri slumps into the sofa, right beside me. She's facing me.
[Player]: "It's... complicated…"
Sayori: "Since yesterday, things have become so strange...First, you acted very weird yesterday morning, then you and Monika know each other…then this morning, it looks like Natsuki and Yuri are in serious dangers…"
It will be very difficult to make up a convincing lie…But I'm afraid about what would happen if I tell her everything is only a simulation.
Monika: "We will explain everything later, Sayori. For now, we need to take care of [Player]'s wounds."
Good move Monika, that will leave us more time to think.
[Player]: "I think I'm mostly fine, except for my right arm. I fear it might be fractured. I can't move it well now…"
Sayori: "I think…I have some ice in the fridge."
Monika: "Please get them. We need to reduce the swelling as much as we can."
Sayori goes to the kitchen. Monika and I are left alone for a moment.
Monika whispers to me.
Monika: "Should we tell her the truth?"
[Player]: "I…I'm not sure. Maybe not…"
There is one major reason why I don't want to tell her the truth. Telling her that everything is a simulation is certainly bad enough, but telling her that the boy she loves no longer exist, or rather never existed, is one hundred times worse. She'll probably not be able to climb back from the pit of despair.
Monika: "I see. I'll try making up a lie. Leave it to me."
Sayori comes back with a bag of ice.
I pull up my sleeves and show her where my right arm was hurt the most.
She wraps the bag of ice around the part.
It HURTS! I cannot help but let a small shriek.
[Player]: "It's ok, it's not your fault…I'm the one who stupidly tripped…"
Monika: "Sayori, I'm sorry for lying to you recently but the truth is, something grave happened in our club. It's very hard to believe, but please trust us."
Sayori: "Monika, I've always trusted you. You're one of my best friends! So please, tell me. I'll always believe you!"
Monika: "Thanks Sayori."
She takes a deep breath.
Monika: "My father works in a chemical laboratory that produces artificial aroma for food. I frequently visit him, and when I do, I'm used to bringing back samples of the latest aromas. I then give them to Natsuki for her cupcakes. The day before yesterday, I brought two new vials of a new delicious aroma for Natsuki to make yesterday's cupcakes. But my father made a mistake. Instead of giving me the aroma, he gave me two samples of an experimental drug. I only learnt about this yesterday evening. The effects of the drug are not well known but they are thought to amplify the person's already existing psychological disorder. The drug was used in the cupcakes so me, you, [Player], Yuri and Natsuki are probably affected by it. And it's probably the same for Natsuki's family."
Monika pauses for a moment.
Whoa, that might be a very good lie, albeit, a bit unbelievable. As expected of Monika.
Monika: "I told [Player] this information earlier this morning, and we decided we should meet each other. That's why I came here, and that's why he came to see you."
Sayori: "I…I need a bit of time to understand…So basically, we were mistakenly drugged? Our psychological problems were amplified?"
Monika: "In short, yes. But please, you cannot tell anyone about that, not even a doctor. If this information becomes public, my father and my father's laboratory will have huge problems. He may even be sent to jail…"
Sayori: "Okay… I believe you…But there's something I don't get. [Player], why did you scream when you touched me?"
I expected this question. Fortunately, Monika's story left me enough time to come up with a good explanation.
[Player]: "Sayori, I know you've been hiding something from me for a long time. You're suffering from depression, aren't you?"
Sayori: "How…how did you know? Did Monika tell you?"
[Player]: "She didn't need to. I understood by myself recently. Why you were always late. Why you never paid attention to your appearance. Why your room was messy. Why you seemed so tired when I was not around…It's because of that, isn't it?"
Sayori's body posture slightly collapses and tears are beginning to appear in her eyes.
Sayori: "Why…is everything going downhill…? I tried to my best to hide it from you. You were the last person I wanted to learn about my problem. And yet…"
I hold Sayori's left shoulder with my only available arm. I try to make her look at me.
[Player]: "Sayori, listen to me. I think I know what you're thinking right now and no, you're not a bother. You're not a burden. You're my dearest friend and I didn't think any less of you when I understood your disease. Worrying about you is my job, and I don't mind it in the slightest."
I lock my eyes into hers.
[Player]: "You may be thinking you should disappear to stop us from worrying about you, but that's the absolute worst thing you could do."
I put more strength in my left hand, but not so much I would hurt her.
[Player]: "I will be honest. I became more and more anxious about the possibility of you committing suicide. Yesterday, probably under the effect of the drug, I had a terrible nightmare about you. When I woke up, I immediately rushed to your house. There, I saw you lying in your bed. But you didn't answer my calls. I panicked. Fear overcame me, and I had a terrible hallucination. I thought you were already dead. So, I ran and…Well you know the rest."
Sayori: "I see…So you were hurt because of me…If I had answered you when you called me, you wouldn't have had that hallucination and fallen off the stairs…"
[Player]: "Maybe. But Sayori, don't blame yourself. The one at fault here is the drug, and also me."
One part of me wishes I could hug Sayori now. But the rest of me doesn't allow me to do that. I'm not the one she spent her childhood with. I'm not the one who caught her precious bird plushie. I don't want to get too close to her because that would be like deceiving her. There's also the fact that I already like Monika.
Monika: "[Player] is right. It's not your fault at all. If anything, it's mine. If I didn't give that drug to Natsuki, then none of this would have happened."
Sayori: "No Monika, it's not your fault too! You didn't know the samples were the wrong ones. You're innocent."
Monika: "Even so, I'm still responsible... We need to confirm that Natsuki and Yuri are safe. I'll ask Natsuki to find Yuri and bring her here."
Sayori: "I think it's better if you go to school to find them. I'll take care of [Player]."
Monika: "I'm staying here. I'm also worried about you two."
Sayori: "But what if Natsuki or Yuri has a problem?"
Monika: "It should be ok. I called Natsuki earlier and she seemed fine. Let me call her again."
If only I didn't hurt myself…I would have gone to school myself. It's so frustrating that I'm stuck here. Well, I could still walk to school but there's no way Monika or Sayori are going to let me.
Monika takes her phone and calls Natsuki.
After five seconds or so, Natsuki answers. Monika tells her to find Yuri and to come together to Sayori's house. She tells her it's urgent and that they should skip school. Thanks to her wise choice of words, she manages to convince Natsuki.
[Player]: "Wow, your persuasion skill is really impressive Monika!"
Monika: "Ahaha! Well, I am not that good, really. I just got a lot of experience thanks to the debate club and the literature club."
Sayori: "Monika is really amazing, isn't she…?"
Now that the drama of my fall has settle down, I can clearly see Sayori is going back to her self-depreciated mood…But what can we do? Her depression is due to a chemical imbalance in her brain. I think. I'm far from a specialist, and I have never suffered from it.
Sayori: "[Player], do you want something? I can get you water and I think there is some ice-cream left."
[Player]: "Then I would like some water please. And an ice-cream too."
Monika: "Let me go with you, Sayori."
They both leave, and I'm left alone.
I push my back against the sofa and relax.
I was worried Sayori would see through our lies, but it seems it worked out at the end. Still, I don't know how long it'll stay this way. Before going back to my world, I still need to wait 4 more days without anyone dying...Sayori's depression looks as bad as it was in the game on Sunday, but as long as I'm here, I won't let her hurt herself. Natsuki should be safe as long as she stays far away from her father. The problem now is Yuri. I don't know how yandere she is right now…Ah, I forgot about Monika. For now, she still sees the others as her friends but there's a possibility she would just delete the others to protect me and be with me. And what about the letters? I still need to hide mine…Now that I think about it, where's mine?!
I check my trousers in a hurry to confirm if the letter is still there. Fortunately, it seems to be the case.
I just dodged a bullet. Had the letter fallen from my trousers when I fell on the stairs…
Let's focus. I also must discover the letter they gave to one of the girls. The question is who might be that girl. Probably not Monika, or she would have told me. Same thing goes for Sayori. No, wait. It could by anyone. If the letter says: "If someone other than yourself reads this letter, then that person will die.", then it makes sense for even them to hide it…In that case…Ahhh there are too many possibilities! "The bad news is that we decided to make your story much more unpredictable!" They weren't kidding when they said that…There are probably still some surprises left…
I won't give up. No matter what. I will create a happy ending for Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri and Monika. I will return to my world.
I wasn't sure if I truly desired the last sentence.
Next chapter: Doubt
Author's notes: Last chapter, as some readers of the original story on fanfiction.net rightfully discovered, I actually put a real message in hexadecimal.
Chapter 6: Doubt
Last updated: 07/01/2017, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
I see Sayori and Monika returning to the living room. Monika is holding a bottle of water and a glass while Sayori is holding two ice creams, vanilla from the look of them. I'm still sitting on the sofa.
Monika stops beside the sofa whereas Sayori comes closer and stretches out her right arm to offer me one of the ice creams.
Sayori: "Vanilla is your favorite flavor, right?"
Sayori's face is still clouded but I could see for one moment her honest, albeit faint, smile.
I accept it with my left arm.
[Player]: "Thanks Sayori."
I take a good look at the ice cream. Contrary to Natsuki's cupcake, ice cream was never in DDLC. So I really wonder how they will feel and taste. So far, they look completely real.
Monika puts the bottle and the glass on the sofa and opens the former..
Sayori: "Monika? Why don't you put the bottle on the table?"
What table? As I think that, out of nowhere a table appears in front of the sofa!
What the hell!?
I'm startled but I manage to keep my composure. Monika doesn't look as surprised as me.
Monika: "Ahaha...of course, silly me."
She moves the glass to the new table and pours water inside it. She then hands me the glass.
I gladly accept it and take a quick sip.
I can't see any difference from any real water.
I then start eating my ice cream.
It tastes exactly like any real vanilla ice cream. I can't see any difference. Monika sits on the sofa on my left while Sayori sits on my right. Sayori is also eating her ice cream.
[Player]: "You don't want something Monika?"
Monika: "There were only two ice creams in the fridge, and you and Sayori need them more than me, don't mind me~"
She is coming just a tiny bit closer to me.
Sayori: "After I finish my ice cream, I'll go to the nearest drug store, ok? I'll try to find some painkillers and anti-inflammatory medicine."
While saying this, Sayori carefully examines my right arm.
Sayori: "How is your arm doing…?"
[Player]: "It really hurts...I can feel the blood throbbing inside its vessels...but the ice is really helping. I think what I need the most is some kind of splint."
Sayori: "Got it..I'll try to find them."
Monika seems deep in thoughts.
Sayori: "Do you want to watch something?"
Wait, is there even a TV?
As I think this, a TV on top of a new piece of furniture appears in front of the table.
A remote manifests itself in Sayori's right hand.
Ohh I see…
She pushes some button and the screen turns on. Some unknown anime is being broadcasted.
While quickly eating my ice cream, I try to understand why objects are appearing out of thin air:
It looks like the world is creating itself…Could it be that new objects are being created as the world needs them? Then, in the case of Sayori... in order for her not to realize that her world is 'fake', the world creates each object she refers and thinks of? This way her disillusion can still continue...Let's try something.
[Player]: "Hey Sayori, is there any chair in this piece?"
Sayori: "Eh? Of course, there are. There are four around the dining table...Weird...Did you hit your head?!"
She stops watching the TV and looks intensely at my head, as if she was trying to discover any hair soaked with blood.
[Player]: "No, no, don't worry about that! I'm 100% sure I didn't hit my head!"
To support my claim, I run down my hand through my hair and show it to Sayori.
[Player]: "See? I just asked you that question because...anyways the show is very funny, ahaha!"
I try to change the subject very awkwardly. I quickly glance at where the dinning table is supposed to be and there is really a table surrounded by four chairs.
It appears my hypothesis was correct.
Sayori stares with two big round eyes saying "I totally don't believe you, but I'll let it slide for now".
Sayori: "You said you had a hallucination earlier? Maybe the drug is making you losing your mind..?"
[Player]: "That's...possible. But really, I'm ok. No need to panic. Actually if you panic, I'm going to panic too. So let's calm down ok?"
Sayori: "If you say so...but I'm still worried! If it gets any worse, I'll call the hospital, even if you and Monika would hate me."
You are putting my safety above all else Sayori...even when you are already breaking inside…
Monika: "It's okay Sayori. I will keep a keen eye on him while you're out. I think we should get him medecine as soon as possible."
Sayori: "Right. I'll go now. If anything happens…"
[Player]: "I'll call you right away, it's a promise. The same is true for you, if anything happens, promise us you'll contact us."
Sayori: "I promise. I may not care about me, believe in myself but... I will anything do for you…"
[Player]: "Thanks Sayori."
She finishes up her ice cream and walks to the entrance. She quickly put her shoes and just before leaving….
Sayori: "I'll try to be quick!"
She goes outside and closes the door.
I'm now once again alone with Monika. I already finished eating my ice cream.
I feel much more at ease now that I don't have to make up lies anymore.
Monika presses her body against my left side and gently hugs my left arm.
Even though my right arm took most of the hit, the rest of my body still got bruised in various degrees, so Monika's hug is slightly painful, however...
The warm of her skin, the fragrance of her smell, the affection of her movement more than make up for that slight discomfort. Instead of pushing her away because of the pain, I wraps her right arm with my left arm.
Her cheeks are getting redder. Mines are probably too.
Monika: "There are so many things I want to say...but we don't have much time before Sayori or the others arrive... "
We are getting lost in the bewitching ocean of our respective eyes.
[Player]: "Right Monika…"
Monika's expression gets more serious. Likewise, I straighten myself.
Monika: "I think I found a way to cure the problems of all club members immediately."
I straighten my back and focus my mind.
Monika: "Do you remember when I told you I couldn't edit files anymore but still could make new file?"
Monika: "I can edit without limit in any new file I create. I can also copy any existing file…"
What is she thinking of…?
Doubts and hesitation are beginning to cloud her face.
Monika: "I can copy the character's files of Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri, edit their new files to fix their problems and replace their old files with the new files…"
If that happens…!
Monika: "That way, we can solve their problems right? If I delete them and replace them right away, it's not like killing them right? They will still be themselves, won't they…?"
Maybe, but I will be then stuck in this world for sure! If any girl is killed or deleted before the festival, I will forever be unable to return to my world!
[Player]: "Wait! Wait...I…"
I hesitate. Returning to my world? Why do I even want to do that? To find back my home? My friends, my family?
Monika is silent. I can see she's as conflicted as me, but for a different reason.
I want to see them again for sure but...yet, if I go back to my world, I will lose the person in front of me...Monika...
Monika: "If I delete them then restore them, it won't be like killing them...It will be just like a surgery. They fall asleep and when they wake up, their diseases are gone!..."
Monika is tightening her hug, as if she's trying to comfort herself she's making the right choice. Her head rests on my left shoulder.
...I can't decide.
Monika: "What do you think...?"
She looks at me expectantly.
[Player]: "...I don't know...but…"
I need more time.
[Player]: "We need more time. We can't make such an important choice now...Let me think for a moment…"
Monika: "Yeah...You're right. There's no need to hurry…"
Monika: "Just in case, I already copied mine and the other girls' character files and put them in a backup folder so, if anything irreversible happens to them, I can always restore them."
If I really want to go back to my world, I should find a good reason for Monika not to delete and then restore them.
[Player]: "You did? That's a great idea…"
I think it's the best choice...For now, I should make sure nobody is killed or deleted until the festival...
I close my eyes and let my body rest a bit more on Monika's.
Monika: "But the more we wait, we more our friends will suffer…"
If I change my mind...If I choose to stay with Monika...I can always tell Monika to fix everything before the festival. Until then, I should at least give myself the option to choose.
Sorry, Monika, I really don't want to lie to you but I have to…
Next chapter: Placebo
Chapter 7: Placebo
Last updated: 07/01/2017, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
[Player]: "About whether copying someone, editing them and deleting their original file immediately is like a surgery or more like killing them and then cloning them...I think it's more like the former BUT you shouldn't do it… Or I will die."
I feel sick because of the lie I'm telling.
[Player]: "Last night I had a dream about 'the gods' who put me here. Do you remember?"
Monika: "Yeah, you told me when you woke up."
[Player]: "I didn't want to burden you with that information. That's why I kept quiet until now. But you should know the truth."
She urges me to continue.
[Player]: "They told me I will die if any of the club members dies or is deleted before the festival, next Monday."
I let my revelation sink in deeper.
Monika takes my unhurt hand and strongly tightens it so as to never let me go. She locks her eyes into mine with a resentful, but more than anything, concerned, expression. Tears are beginning to appear in her eyes.
Monika: "How...why didn't you tell me!? If I had known…"
[Player]: "You would have done what? We didn't exactly have time since we woke up...We already did the best we could do, right? Sayori and Natsuki are fine and will soon come here. Yuri will come too. Nobody is going to get hurt or worse, right?"
I try to sound as confident as possible.
Monika: "Yeah...you're right. Sorry, I couldn't control myself... I'm just...so scared about losing you...I'm worried too about my friends but they're not as real and I can always restore them. But if you were to die..."
I pull my left arm out of Monika's embrace and face her. I then use my left arm to hug her as closely as possible. My right arm is hanging in the air on the side.
We stay in this position for some time, without any word.
I can feel Monika's heartbeat. It was fast, too fast as first but it's gently slowing down to normal level.
[Player]: "It has been about 20 minutes since you called Natsuki. Maybe you should call her again to see whether she managed to find Yuri."
Monika raises her head to look at me.
Monika: "Right...But I have a better idea…"
Her eyes dart the side. What is she thinking of?
Monika: "Alright. She found Yuri and convinced her to come here. They are on the way."
[Player]: "How do you know?"
Monika: "You know that I can see the files, right? It turns out there are logs detailing everything happening in the world. They're like oceans of information. If I use the right keywords, I can see everything Sayori and the others say or even think!"
Ah...so that's how she knew what happened in the original game even when she wasn't present, like when Natsuki showed a secret message to the main character...What a useful ability.
[Player]: "That's so useful!..."
And I add in a lower voice…
[Player]: "and kind of cheated…"
[Player]: "What about Sayori, can you see what she's doing currently?"
Monika: "Hold on a sec...Found it. Sayori is currently walking on the street, she is approaching some kind of store."
[Player]: "Okay. Then let's keep an eye on them, just in case."
What a relief...Now, we know what is happening everywhere...Finally some good news.
Monika: "Of course. I will make sure nothing happens to them. I'll definitely not let you to die."
[Player]: "Thanks Monika...There are several other things I want to talk about."
Monika: "Please tell me."
[Player]: "The 'gods' told me something else. They told me they gave one letter to one of the club members. They recommended me to find that girl and read the letter."
Monika: "A letter? Do you have any idea about the content or the identity of the girl?"
[Player]: "No idea but it must be something very important. About the girl, it should be either Sayori, Natsuki or Yuri. You didn't get anything, right?"
Monika: "No, I didn't. I'll look at the logs to see if one of them got something recently…"
Monika: "Ahh...there's too much information...I can see what is happening right now but it's so difficult to understand past events...It's like looking for a grain of sand inside a desert…"
Hmmm so her omniscient ability is limited by her data analysis speed.
[Player]: "I don't really know how it works but maybe you can try looking for the keywords 'letter', 'god', 'dream'?"
Several minutes pass.
Monika: "Sorry. I can't find something yet…"
[Player]: "It's okay. We can always subtly ask the girls later. Let's change the subject. There's something really bothering me. Did you notice that new objects kept appearing when Sayori was here?"
Monika: "Actually I wanted to talk about that too. I discovered it when I was with Sayori in the kitchen. It seems like every time Sayori speaks of something, the object she is thinking of will materialize."
[Player]: "Right. That's what I thought too. I have a theory that could explain that."
Monika: "I think I understood how it works too. "
[Player]: "Then please say it first, what do you think of these phenomena?"
I'm curious about Monika's opinion. How much did she understand?
Monika: "Ehehe~are you testing me? Then I won't disappoint you!"
She clears her throat.
Monika: "Although the world became much more realistic this morning, it's still not nearly as complex as your world, right? The streets, the houses, almost everything is empty. But the characters living here don't see that. They believe their world is real and are seeing objects that don't actually exist in this world. Yet, if the objects don't actually exist when they try interacting with them, then they will discover this world is fake. To avoid this, the world creates those objects each time a character is about to interact with them."
She finishes her short speech. I'm impressed.
Monika: "How about it?"
[Player]: "I couldn't have explained it better. I think you're totally right, Monika."
Monika: "I knew you came to the same conclusion as me the moment you asked Sayori about the chairs in the room."
[Player]: "Ahaha, yeah that wasn't such a good idea. Sayori got even more worried."
Monika: "Yeah! You should try avoiding that in the future, you know~"
Monika: "Anyways, there are still some things I'm not sure...Like what happens if a character tries to interact with an object if they're not certain it's there? For example, let's say Sayori thinks she lost her pen somewhere in her room. She thinks it might be in one of her drawers or on her desk. Then where will the pen actually be? In the first place she tries to look for? Nowhere? Randomly inside one of her drawers?"
[Player]: "Excellent question...I would guess the world will kind of calculate the likeliest outcome based on the memories of the characters and the state of every objects in the world."
Monika: "Hm...I guess so...Then what if we tell Sayori we saw her pen on her desk and if she believes us? Will the pen really materialize on her desk?"
After some thoughts, I answer:
[Player]: "Hmmm, probably yes."
I think I know where this is going.
Monika: "Let's go a step further, what will happen if I tell her I bought a digital piano and that it's in my house? She has no way of knowing whether it's true."
No character in this world should have awareness of that piano until Monika mentions it. Then...it makes sense the piano wouldn't exist but in that case...if one day Monika invites Sayori to come over at her house and to make her listen to one song she wrote...Then if the piano still doesn't exist, an incoherence will emerge which would be detrimental to the world...Uhhhh
[Player]: "I-I don't know. There are some arguments for and against. We won't know until we try."
Monika gets up and does her Monika-like pose with her left hand pointing the ceiling and her right arm at her side.
Monika: "Let's try it! I will call Sayori and tell her I have an apple in my school bag."
She points her bag which is leaning against the sofa.
Monika: "I will then ask her if she minds if I borrow one knife in the kitchen. Until now, there's no apple in my bag and I didn't see any knife in the kitchen either. So, if my hypothesis is true then both the apple and the knife will appear!"
I also get up. This experiment makes me very excited!
[Player]: "Let's do it! I'm so pumped up for this!"
Monika takes her phone and her bag and invites me to follow her to the kitchen. I do as she suggests.
She then calls Sayori. Sayori quickly picks up and immediately asks something. Monika reassures her nothing bad came up and that she just wants to ask her where she can find a knife. She then asks her if she can borrow it to cut an apple she brought with her. Sayori says some sentences and it looks like she accepts Monika's request. After more exchanges, Monika hangs up.
The effects are immediate. First, drawers appear right in front of us. Monika opens the second one and there is indeed a knife, along with other kitchen utensils. And more importantly…
Monika picks up a green apple from her bag.
[Player]: "That's incredible, Monika!"
Monika: "Yeah! I'm so happy it worked! I have so many things I want to try next!"
She examines carefully the apple. It looks perfectly real.
[Player]: "Me too but we should be careful. If we make a mistake, the consequences could be really serious...By the way, where are Yuri and Natsuki now?"
Monika: "They're almost here. They should arrive in 20 minutes or so."
[Player]: "Not much time, huh...Let's go back to the experiment. From what I understood, the most important factor that will determine if an object is created is whether there is a character that firmly believes it exists."
Monika: "Right. And we can use this law to create any object we want by lying to them."
[Player]: "It is very similar to the placebo effect. Have you heard of it?"
Monika: "I have! The placebo effect happens when a sick person is given fake medicine. If the person firmly believes the medicine is real, then the fake medicine will really have the same effects, to a certain degree, as the real medicine. You're right, what happened strongly resembled the placebo effect. Except in our case, the fake medicine will have more than than weaker effects: they will be as strong as the real ones."
[Player]: "And thus, our lies become reality...Alright, there's not much time left before they arrive. Thanks to your idea, I believe I found a way to heal Sayori's depression and the other girls' problems without modifying their character files."
Our visages become more serious.
[Player]: "You told Sayori we were suffering because of a drug your father mistakenly gave you. Then, if they honestly believe this lie, you can say your father found a medicine to cancel out the effects of the drug. We then give the cure to them and their problems should disappear!"
Monika: "That's great [Player]! I think it can definitely work!"
She hops a little and holds my left hand with both of her hands with a genuine and beautiful smile.
Monika: "I'm so happy to have met you! Being able to physically be with you was already a miracle … but I never dared to dream you would be so kind and smart… I must be the luckiest girl in the world."
...I think so too Monika. I'm truly happy to be with you but...I'm still conflicted about my dilemma.
[Player]: "I should be the one saying that. Besides, it's you who came up with that lie. If at that time you told the truth or a different lie, there might have been no way to cure their problems without deleting them."
Monika: "Thanks [Player]. Aren't we a perfect match then? Ehehe~"
Aha. I'm getting flustered…
My heartbeat is getting faster. I'm getting more and more lost in her emerald eyes and her irresistible smile.
I want to be with her. I want to hug her. I want to love her. I want to accept the confession she told me last night. But I can't. Because if I do, then...I won't be able to go back.
[Player]: "I think we should prepare ourselves. Yuri and Natsuki will arrive very soon, right?"
She lets go of my hand.
Monika: "Right. I need to think about how I can explain to Natsuki and Yuri the lie we told to Sayori…"
Especially Natsuki. The drug was supposed to be put into Natsuki's cupcakes...Oh...
I can see Monika realized the same problem as me.
Monika: "...I fear...I kind of messed up?"
Next chapter: Incoherence
Chapter 8: Incoherence
Last updated: 08/01/2017, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
We told Sayori that Monika gave the 'aroma' to Natsuki who then made cupcakes with it. Then there's no way this lie will work on Natsuki because…wait maybe...
[Player]: "Just to be sure...You actually didn't give anything to Natsuki on Monday for her cupcakes, right?"
Monika: "Uh...yeah...All my memories are really hazy...but I don't remember ever giving anything to Natsuki for her cupcakes."
As I feared…
Monika's right arm lies at her side while her left arm is holding her right elbow. Her eyebrows are down and I can feel regret in her voice.
Monika: "Ahaha...If I thought more carefully about the situation, I could have…"
I interrupt her:
[Player]: "You did the best we could have done. You only had one minute to think of a believable lie. And the person who was in front of you was Sayori. It's totally normal not to think of the bigger picture in that situation."
Monika: "Um...yeah but...Anyway, it's not like we can go back to the past, can we?"
Of course...Hold on, didn't she rollback time when the main character saw Yuri in the hallway in DDLC? Or was it the game system?
[Player]: "Are you sure about that? When I played the game, I think you were able to rollback events…"
Monika: "Really? Hm...I didn't tell you yet but I can actually open a python console. Maybe there's a command I can execute?"
In DDLC, she used the command console to delete the other characters. It must be the same here. Thus, there should be some kind of functions to save, load and rollback.
[Player]: "Try to find something like 'rollback', 'previous', 'load'...Scratch that, can you save the game or load it or something?"
Monika: "Let's see...Oh you're right! There are some functions about saving and loading! There are ' renpy . save()' and ' renpy . load()'."
If it's really possible to save and load then all our problems will be solved!
[Player]: "Great! Can you try executing the line 'renpy . save('day_2_morning')'?"
Monika: "Let's see..."RuntimeError: Access Denied". It's the same error that happened when I tried to modify the club members' files!"
[Player]: "Gods damn it. I figured it would have been too easy otherwise. Can you see the list of saves?"
Monika: "Yes but it's empty…"
[Player]: "Well, it looks like saving and loading is out of the question then. Let's try one last thing. There should be something like 'renpy . rollback()'..."
Monika: "I can see it but... how does it work? You know, I'm very new at programming. I only discovered yesterday I could execute python commands.."
[Player]: "Well, I know programming, Python and even Ren'Py so I could teach you but...we don't have much time left before Natsuki and Yuri arrive, do we?"
Monika: "Yeah, they should arrive in less than 8 minutes. Sayori already is coming out of the drug store with medicines. I guess she will join us in about 20 minutes."
I sigh. We don't have enough time to experiment more with Renpy and python functions...No, at least, I still want to give one more try to the rollback function.
[Player]: "Let's try one last thing. Execute the line 'help('renpy . rollback')' and tell me what you see."
Monika: "I see 'renpy . rollback(force=False, checkpoints=1, defer=False,greedy=True,label=None,abnormal=True)', then under it, each argument is explained. I don't really understand any of them..."
[Player]: "I can guess the meaning of some of them...But just guessing isn't enough when a mistake could literary break the world...It cannot be helped, we really don't have enough time."
Monika: "Should we make up some new lie for Natsuki and Yuri…?"
[Player]: "...Maybe...Not. I don't know about you but I can't think of any believable lie that would solve our problems."
Monika: "What if I try to make the lie I told true? I don't remember ever giving something to Natsuki for her cupcakes and it's surely the same for her...but who didn't forget something in their life? Especially for me, Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri, our memories are blurry, as if everything until you came didn't exist."
[Player]: "Well, the original game started yesterday morning so that explains why your past memories are blurry, or in another word, 'undefined'. In that case, yeah, you could convince even Natsuki you gave her the aroma. If she really believes it, then new memories will be 'defined' and will become real. Probably."
Monika: "Ah...but I shouldn't just convince her I gave her the ingredient one time. I told Sayori I used to give aroma to Natsuki so I should not only change Monday's memory but also all the times Natsuki made cupcakes…"
That's...on a whole new level of difficulty. Convincing someone they forgot one thing one time is difficult but convincing them they repeatedly forgot it for years is almost…
[Player]: "Ahhh...that's a real challenge...Uh...I…"
I'm doing my best to find a solution but not to avail.
[Player]: "Sorry, I'm not the best person to rely on when it comes to lying and dealing with people."
Monika: "Don't underestimate yourself, I think you're pretty smart! I wouldn't have thought of all those ideas without you. Unfortunately, I'm not the best at managing my club members too…"
Monika crosses her arms and lowers her head as if she's giving up. But after a short moment, she rises it again with a more determined look on her face.
Monika: "I can't fail, can I? If I fail to convince Natsuki and Yuri that the lie we told to Sayori is true then there would be no other way to save them without deleting them and restoring them, killing you in the process…"
[Player]: "Maybe not...Maybe it's okay if we tell the truth to Natsuki and Yuri and just lie to Sayori. Maybe the placebo effect needs only one character to believe into something to work. After all, only Sayori was aware of the apple and the knife and yet it worked?"
Monika: "It might be. But in the case of the apple and the knife, only Sayori needed to be aware of them and it didn't modify her memories. In the case of our lie, all members are involved, especially Natsuki and the lie would affect the past…"
Uh...it's more complicated than I thought...Ah, I don't have the energy to deal with that…
I was feeling dizzy and tired for a while...but it's getting worse.
[Player]: "If only we had more time, we could try more things...How many minutes do we have left by the way?"
Monika: "Less than 4 minutes. They can almost see Sayori's house."
And on top of that, we must find a solution in just 3 minutes? No way!
[Player]: "I'm hating even more the 'gods' who literally turned our problems up to eleven more and more."
Seriously. If yesterday was like 'medium difficulty', now it's like 'infernal' difficulty...And to make it worse, there's the big unknown factor that is the letter…
Monika: "I can understand your feelings but there's no use blaming anyone now...Okay, let's focus. We must reach a consensus quick. I propose I first try to make Natsuki believe the lie. If it fails, then I will tell them they are characters inside a game...or a very realistic simulation and that their personal problems were amplified. I won't say anything about you though."
I can't think of anything better.
[Player]: "Okay. Let's go with your plan. I can't think of anything else...I will leave it to you…"
I add a short moment later:
[Player]: "To be honest, I don't feel really good right now...I'm feeling light-headed…Do you mind if I rest a bit on the sofa?"
Even thinking was difficult now. This morning has been terrible. As soon as I woke up, I had to rush to Sayori's house, then I experienced the most terrifying event I have ever seen. Then I fell and fractured my arm and then I still had to force myself to think of the laws of this world as well as making plans...Saying I'm just tired would be a huge understatement.
Monika: "I have a better idea. Let's go to the sofa~"
I follow her.
She sits on the sofa and pats her thighs... to signal me to lie my head on her legs?
Is she offering me a lap-pillow?
[Player]: Uh...I'm supposed to lie down on the sofa and rest my head on top of your thighs?"
Monika: "Y-yeah, it would be better, wouldn't it? If you're feeling light-headed then you should lie down so that the blood flows more easily into your brain...and you can also rest your fractured arm on your chest so…"
[Player]: "I understand. No need to justify yourself, I don't mind it. In fact, I appreciate it...Well, we already slept together so...how could I mind a lap-pillow? Ahaha."
Monika: "Ahaha yeah, you're right…"
I slowly lie down on the sofa and carefully let my head rests on her lap, while checking any adverse reaction from Monika.
Monika's lap is so comfy…And warm...If only I could just give up my fight and be with her…
She then tentatively begins to pet my head. I'm a bit reluctant at first but I quickly let go of any embarrassment and resistance.
We stay silent for some time, enjoying the present moment. I gradually let go of the intense stress that plagued my thoughts since this morning. I can feel the tension in my muscles progressively going away.
Monika: "Do you remember last night, before we…"
And then the doorbell rings through the house.
Monika doesn't move an inch and instead tells Sayori and Yuri to go inside from where she is. I move my head to the direction of the door. I try to get up but Monika's loving hands encourage me to stay on her lap.
Natsuki and Yuri enter the piece. The only thing I can tell is they seem at least very surprised.
Natsuki is the first one to speak.
Natsuki: "You better have a good explanation for making us...Oh…"
I see her eyes noticed my arm.
Natsuki: "What happened to [Player]?. And where is Sayori?!"
Yuri: "I-I would like to know as well..."
They are staring between me and Monika. Uh...I feel like Yuri is staring more intensely at us….and not in a good way...
Monika takes a deep breath before speaking.
Monika: "Regarding [Player], he fell down in the stairs earlier and probably fractured his right arm. He's feeling very tired now so please let him rest. Sayori went to the nearest drugstore to buy medicine for him. However, his fall isn't the main reason I made you come here..."
Yuri and Natsuki are coming closer to us.
Yuri: "Natsuki told me it was extremely urgent and was even a matter of life and death…"
Natsuki: "You know we had to skip school to come to here?! Jeez... I don't even want to imagine what my dad would do when he will find out…"
In the game, even during Act 2, her dad has never beaten her, at least, the game never showed Natsuki's injury. But here Natsuki's abuse variable is equal to 11...Her dad might even kill her.
They are now in front of the sofa, looking at us.
Monika: "What I'm going to tell you may look crazy but please trust me…"
Natsuki: "Look Monika. If we didn't trust you, we wouldn't be here in the first place. Come on, spit it out already."
Monika looks at Natsuki, pauses one second and then moves her regard to Yuri. She is looking at them straight in the eyes.
Monika: "Okay. Natsuki, you know that I often gave you special artificial flavors to make your cupcakes…"
Natsuki: "Hold on a sec, what artificial flavors? You never gave me anything. I always bought the ingredients myself to make my cupcakes."
Shit. As we feared, Natsuki's memory doesn't remember anything about aroma! It doesn't seem like she's going to believe Monika!
Monika: "W-well, I did, don't you remember? For example, Monday, just before the club ended, I gave you two vials of a new aroma for yesterday's cupcakes and your family."
Natsuki becomes perplexed. I can see her doubts are growing.
Natsuki: "You..you did? I don't remember it but…now that I think about it, I don't remember well what happened on Monday... "
As Natsuki's uncertainty increases, white noise suddenly rings and my view becomes distorted.
Natsuki: "Why...Why I can't remember...?"
And it's not stopping. In fact, it's increasing.
I hurriedly raise the top part of my body to sit down on the sofa to be ready to move quickly if anything happens.
The overwhelming fear I felt when I saw Sayori's glitch surges back.
But I manage not to panic yet.
Monika: "It's OK Natsuki! Forgetting things happens to anyone! Don't worry about it!"
Yuri: "M-Monika...I can't remember too about what happened Mon-Monday…Wh-why...WHY?"
The scene is getting more and more messed up and the background noise is louder and louder. The world is becoming more and more unstable!
If the characters realize their memories are fake and that the world is a simulation, it might even crash the world! We MUST do something, now!
[Player]: "Monika! Give them more information about Monday and tell them they can't remember because of the drugs, quick before the simulation becomes critically unstable!"
Next chapter: Rollback
Chapter 9: Rollback
Last updated: 08/01/2017, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
A loud buzzing noise is resounding in the world. It comes from everywhere, even from the deepest part of my inner ear. It's grizzling, unsettling and urging. It urges us to do something before the world ends. At the same time, pixelated boxes are appearing on top of the whole scene, but especially on top of Natsuki and Yuri. It is as if these boxes are rectangular black holes sucking off the neighboring colors.
Nonetheless, the density of boxes is still low, and the sound, although very unnerving, isn't unbearable.
We're not past the turning point yet.
I'm sitting on the sofa with Monika on my left side. Yuri and Natsuki are in front of us and their expressions are a mix of confusion, doubt and in the case case of Yuri...jealousy and...horror?
I'm holding tightly Monika's hand. I just told her what my best bet of salvaging the situation was. Now it's up to her. Only she can make her lie real or, if she fails, make the characters realize the fakeness of this world and likely crashes the simulation.
Monika: "More information?! No, we should do the contrary!..."
Natsuki alternates her regard between Yuri and us. Yuri's right hand is squeezing her chest while her left hand is pressing her left cheek. She says while shaking her head:
Yuri: "That-that...FEELING! So...mething is WRONG! Just like this morning!"
Natsuki worriedly calls Yuri:
Natsuki: "Yuri! What's wrong…!?"
And then turns toward me and Monika:
Natsuki: "Monika, [Player], the heck are you talking about? 'Drug', 'simulation'?"
The glitches around Natsuki are stabilizing while the ones around Yuri are increasing.
Everything is happening too quickly to leave me enough time to analyze the situation. Besides, I'm busy enough trying to keep my composure.
Monika: "Uh...Okay you two! Let's calm down! I promise there's a rational expla…"
Monika's voice is interrupted before she can finish her sentence:
Yuri suddenly starts to laugh in a crazed voice while clutching her head.
Natsuki and Monika are too astonished to speak.
But I can understand what is happening.
Yuri is similar to how she was at the end of Act 2 in DDLC.
Natsuki calls Yuri with a voice full of worry while hugging Yuri's left hand with both of her hands. She is still confused about her memory and distrustful of me and Monika but Yuri's distress takes priority.
The glitches are slightly decreasing.
Monika turns toward me.
Monika: "[Player]! Do you know what's happening to Yuri?"
I know, but I can't say too much or else it will increase the risk of Natsuki or Yuri understanding the truth of this world. I try to give her a hint.
[Player]: "'yuri_self_harm_level = 11'."
I see in her eyes she understood the hint.
Yuri: "Ahaha...I'm losing it, am I not? I...I feel like something is taking control of me!"
Yuri's expression becomes slightly less crazy. She is furrowing her eyebrow and her mouth is curved into a grimace.
Monika: "That's because of the drugs! Natsuki, Monday I mistakenly gave you drugs instead of aroma to make your cupcakes and then…"
Natsuki quickly turns to Monika with a very reproachful expression. With a voice full of anger, she interrupts Monika:
Natsuki: "The hell! You gave us drugs? What the f*ck did you do Monika…!"
She then looks at me.
Natsuki: "And [Player] why do you keep talking about simulation and 'yuri_self_harm_level'?"
I almost decided to speak up...but I gave up. I don't believe I can defuse the exploding situation. I will probably make it even worse.
Monika: "Natsuki, please believe me! It was a mistake I swear! I really thought it was aroma for food. I didn't do it on purpose. I only learned it last night from my father. He also told me the drug caused memory losses and amplified existing psychological problems."
Yuri is strangely silent. For better or for worse, she isn't panicking or trembling anymore. Her expression is creepily neutral.
Natsuki now looks less angry and seems more willing to discuss.
Natsuki: "Ok fine. I still don't remember well you giving me aroma...That drug may explain it...But... Monika, stop saying bullsh*t."
She glares at me and Monika. Her emotion seems to shift to sadness and disappointment.
Monika: "What...No! It's the truth I promise! I understand it's difficult to believe...but you know I wouldn't lie to you, would I?"
Natsuki: "...Then explain that. How come you still remember what happened Monday even though you ate the cupcakes too? And more importantly, what are you two talking about since earlier...It looks like you're plotting something to me. Come on, spit the truth!"
Checkmate. There is no way we can salvage this now…
Uh...I should do something! Anything!
[Player]: "Natsuki, I...I mean, we are NOT plotting anything! What Monika said is true. She told me that this morning. And about her memory, well, the drug affects each person in different ways…"
Yuri interrupts me with a calm yet, awfully dreadful, voice:
Yuri: "[Player] please stop. There's no need to defend that bitch, she's manipulating you..."
She then stares at Monika with her eyes filled with insane jealousy.
Yuri: "Like us. I have been wondering why she got so close to you overnight. Why Natsuki and I got like that...and why Sayori is absent..."
Her mouth distorts in a crazy grin.
Yuri: "You drugged us! Just to get close to him, didn't you MONIKA!"
Drops of blood are falling down from her eyes!
Monika: "No...you're all my friends! I would have never done that! I didn't know it, please Yuri, remember the times we spent together! You know I would never hurt you!"
Yuri seems to hesitate for a moment.
Yuri: "...I...No. Don't play dumb. Don't imagine I didn't miss the slutty glances you gave to [Player] yesterday! Hm, I wonder what you told him last week to make him join the club?"
After a short pause, she continues.
Yuri: "But you had to find some way to get him closer and to make us unattractive...So you put drugs in our cupcakes!... But don't worry, I can imagine how you feel...I mean, [Player] is so kind and cute! I feel like my heart is going to explode whenever I think of him!"
She slowly seems to reach something hidden in her skirt.
Natsuki: "Wait Yuri! You're not yourself! Don't do anything harsh!"
Monika: "...So that's how you feel. You don't know what I'm capable of."
Monika's voice is menacing. It doesn't seem like she wants to negotiate any longer.
Monika, you're not going to hurt them, are you…?
Just after, we hear the entrance door being opened.
Sayori: "I'm back! [Player], Monika are you here?"
Her question is answered when she notices us. She has a bag that looks filled with medical supplies. On one hand, I'm glad Sayori is safe. On the other hand, she really didn't come at the right moment.
Sayori: "Natsuki? Yuri? I'm so happy you came! So…"
She remarks Yuri's and Natsuki's grave expressions.
Sayori: "Wait...Yuri, are you alright? You don't look so good…"
Yuri: "Sayori, stay where you are. I don't know what she told you but that bitch lied to you. It's all her fault!"
Natsuki: "No! Yuri, stop! Please! Monika, I'm sorry for blaming you! ...I can't let this continue. I didn't want to believe that dream but...there's something I have been hiding too!"
'That dream'? Could it be…?
Sayori looks between me, Natsuki, Yuri and Monika. I see she is carefully checking my right arm with her eyes. We wait for Natsuki's explanation.
Natsuki takes a deep breath and explains:
Natsuki: "Last night, I had a really weird dream...In that dream, someone like 'God' talked to me. I think...he wants us to kill each other! He must be the one behind all our problems!"
Silence. Nobody says anything for several seconds. I and Monika are exchanging glances.
Natsuki must be the one they talked to. They must have given her a letter.
Natsuki: "I know right! It looks crazy, but it...I...I'm dead serious! I didn't want to believe it at first too but Yuri, Monika, [Player]...you're suddenly acting so weird...I...I don't want anyone to get hurt!"
Glitches are once again increasing. The buzzing noise is becoming louder and louder at the same time.
I'm doing my utmost, despite my anxiety and tiredness, to understand this phenomenon.
This is bad. It won't be long until Natsuki understands this world is a simulation! If that happens...would it really crash the simulation? According to the increasing gravity of the glitches yes...but why? Characters are supposed to believe the world is real. We could say the world exists solely for the sake of the characters. If they don't believe in it anymore, the placebo effect will cease to exist and nothing will be created anymore. The world will lose its raison d'être. That's it! I have got it! I must tell this conclusion to Monika!
Natsuki focuses her attention on Monika and to a lesser extent, on me.
Natsuki: "Monika, you saw them too, right? I know you did. 'God' told me he talked to another member of the club and gave them a letter...It's you, isn't it?"
Shit! Monika now knows there should be TWO letters! Goddammit, it's getting worse and worse! If the world doesn't crash, then Yuri will kill someone...If not, Monika will discover my letter!
Glitches are getting denser. I can now see vertical and horizontal black lines crossing the world. It looks like they are representing a cartesian coordinate grid. It's getting difficult to hear the other characters.
This is it. This is the end.
Monika: "I don't see what you're talking about…"
I whisper as quietly as possible to Monika:
[Player]: "The world is about to be destroyed! We must divert Natsuki's attention!"
She whispers me back:
Monika: "I know! I...I keep trying several console commands but...I can't find anything to get us out of this predicament. "
Natsuki: "[Player]...you know it too...Maybe he talked to you...or maybe Monika told you. Now that I think about it...You said something about 'simulation' and math earlier…"
F*ck, f*ck, f*ck...I don't want...I don't want to let it end like this!..I can't...I DON'T WANT TO DIE!
Damn it! Desperate times call for desperate measures!
Out of nowhere, I pulled Monika into a hug. Without leaving her the time to respond, I swiftly kiss her lips. It doesn't last more than one fraction of a second. I don't even take the time to enjoy the softness of Monika's lips. I don't feel any shyness, affection, love or embarrassment. All of that doesn't matter in the slightest in front of the impending doom of the world.
Everyone is astonished. Especially Monika and Yuri. A expression of pure rage distorts Yuri's face. She takes a knife out of her skirt and rushes toward Monika.
The glitches are once again decreasing. The grid is fading.
I expected Yuri's reaction. I knew it would happen. But I had to do something to take the characters' mind off the reality of this world. Taking the risk of being stabbed is better than the risk of everyone disappearing.
Yuri takes one step. Only two are left until she can reach me or Monika.
I immediately get up and bring my left arm close to my chest. My heart is beating like crazy.
Yuri takes a second step. She screams in a bloodthirsty voice:
I ready myself to catch Yuri's arm…I don't know if I can make it, but I have to try!
But before I even attempt to catch her arm, a table appears between me and Yuri! It falls down on the top of the already existing table between the sofa and the TV. The new table is an exact copy of the other table.
I'm too confused to do anything. So are the girls. Yuri even dropped her knife.
What the hell?
I hear Monika's voice behind my back.
Monika: "I won't let you hurt him."
I look behind me and see her glaring very threateningly at Yuri.
Did she just spawn the table?
I remember Monika's words: "I can read them, create new files, or even delete them but I can't edit existing files!" and "Really? Hm...I didn't tell you yet but I can actually open a python console. Maybe there's a command I can execute?".
Then...can she create any object in this world using console commands?
Natsuki: "What the hell?"
Yuri: "Tch. I knew you had some powers Monika."
Sayori: "I'm...not hallucinating, I'm? Just now, a new table appeared…?"
The coordinate grid is reappearing...even more clearly than before.
It's now really difficult to see or hear what is going on…
Natsuki: "I understand it now. Why you talked about simulation earlier...This world isn't real, is it?"
Colors are fading to a mix of black and white and everything is getting more and more pixelated.
Natsuki: " Why I can't remember what happened before yesterday...Why such crazy things happen one after another...Why...Noo...How could I not notice it before…?
My senses are being overwhelmed. I can barely hear anything. The overly complicated glitching noise is overbearing. I can even hardly see where I'm now.
Natsuki: "It's so...empty…! This place...my house...there's nothing! Even my family…"
At this point, everything is black and white. Everything is made of pixelated boxes that are increasingly becoming smaller and more numerous. Absolute dread is filling me. I'm paralyzed by fear. I understand death is only a moment away.
Natsuki: "They...don't EVEN HAVE FACES! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The boxes then becomes uncountable series of zero and one.
Before everything comes to an end, I feel someone very dear to me hugging me from behind. I faintly hear three last words.
Monika: "I love you."
I love you too Monika.
This was my last thought.
Next chapter: Limbo
Author's note: Yeah, there is a secret message hidden in that seemingly mess :P, But anyway, it's not important, you can just ignore it.
Chapter 10: Limbo
Author's notes: This time, there is NO secret message hidden! So just enjoy the chapter~!
Last updated: 09/01/2017, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter
Or so I thought.
Instead, I'm thrown into a shaking uncontrollable train of backward visuals, sounds, feelings and emotions. Monika's last hug, the indescribable terror I felt when the world collapsed into its most basic form of zeros and ones, the pumping adrenaline when Yuri picked up her knife...Everything that happened is smashing my mind three times faster.
Words I heard pierce me through my ear and my brain in an incomprehensible series of seemingly chaotic sounds. Images I saw violate my retina just like how an explosion of colors and flashes would do. And worst of all, every muscles, from the toes of my feet to the facial muscles of my head, even including my heart, spasm uncontrollably in the opposite order.
10 minutes of feelings is rolled back and condensed into 3 minutes of pure torture, and I'm completely awake all the way.
Of course, there is no way my brain can handle such excruciating sensations. As soon as time begins to flow normally again, I abruptly lose consciousness.
I don't know where I am.
I don't know what is happening.
I don't even know who I am.
My consciousness is hanging off a micrometer thick thread.
I can feel something.
I can see something.
I can hear something.
I can feel SOMEONE ELSE feeling something through body.
I can feel SOMEONE ELSE seeing through my own eyes.
I can feel SOMEONE ELSE hearing with my ears.
I'm merely a spectator while a third party controls my body as if it was a mere puppet.
But it's not such a bad feeling. Why? Because I'm only very vaguely aware of my fate. Everything is like a far away dream…
I can feel the puppeteer's confusion. His anxiety. He doesn't know what happened. How he found himself suddenly in that place.
There is another person talking to him. A girl who is very dear to me. Someone I could even sacrifice the entire world for. Yet, I can't remember her name. All I know...yes...I would never forget her emerald eyes, so beautiful I could stare into them for an eternity. It's decided then. I would call her "Emerald".
Emerald asks the one in control some questions but I can feel him getting more and more troubled.
'I' hear other girls speaking with them. My eyes turn toward them and I see one girl with long purple hair and one girl with short pink hair.
I know them too. They are friends to me. But as with Emerald, I can't remember who they are. I will call the first girl Amethyst because she has mysterious purple eyes, and I will call the second girl Ruby, because I somewhat know she has pink-reddish colored eyes and a fiery temperament.
Emerald, Amethyst and Ruby are chatting between each other and me. I feel they are especially worried about me. Emerald tells something that leaves Amethyst, Ruby, and 'me', puzzled. The other 'me' doesn't know how to answer.
Emerald is very upset and she forcibly pulls my body to the bathroom. She locks the door. 'I' can hear the other girls complaining but Emerald ignores them. The puppeteer tries to resist and asks her what she is doing. Emerald asks more questions while staring at my own eyes which further troubles the puppeteer.
Those questions...I feel like only I know the answers.
My other 'me' lack of response devastates Emerald. She collapses against the wall.
Deep feeling arises. Seeing her so desperate...I want to help her...I want to do something...But I'm drowning inside an endless ocean, kilometers below the surface.
Amethyst and Ruby are knocking against the door and my hand unlocks it. Before Amethyst and Ruby can enter, a new door appears suddenly between them and us. They are stunned.
Emerald tells them something about 'script' and 'simulation', and soon after…
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Blurry memories are rewound. Hazy pictures, fuzzy sounds. foggy feelings rush several times faster in the opposite order.
I feel like I have already experienced something similar. This time, however, such sensations are far from unbearable, as I was already barely conscious.
This place...I was there before. I still can't control my body. The puppeteer is as confused as before. Emerald is besides me. Amethyst and Ruby are coming closer.
Emerald doesn't waste time and immediately asks 'me' the questions she asked 'me' when 'we' were in the bathroom. She once again falls into hopelessness and drops to her knee.
Feeling of rage boils inside me. Against the puppeteer for hurting Emerald and for being such an idiot. But there is nothing I can do. I'm so, so, so far away from the surface.
The others are gathering around Emerald. They are worried. Emerald gets up and her despair mutates into anger. She tells the others to go away and to leave her alone. Emerald then runs to the stairs and climbs then up.
The one who controls my body, along with Amethyst and Ruby quickly follow her but Emerald closes and locks the door behind her.
Several minutes passes. Maybe a dozen. Maybe half of a dozen. I don't know. Meanwhile Amethyst and Ruby are talking about me, Emerald and the recent events. At the end, Amethyst get excited and sensually touches my chest while breathing loudly.
At that point, the door is abruptly opened and Emerald orders Amethyst to get away from me in a screaming and very menacing tone. Amethyst refuses and grasps a knife. Before she can even move, rectangular black boxes appear between her and Emerald. One of them hits Amethyst and pins her violently to the nearest wall.
Ruby screams and shortly after tries to help Amethyst but not to avail. Emerald then says something about trying to save me using console and python commands. Shortly after,
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The recent events are rolled back. Pictures, sounds, feelings, emotions move backward. Like before, it is as if I was transported against the current of a stream deep under the ocean.
I feel once again that my body is in that room. The puppeteer's thoughts are the same as before. He doesn't realize time is being rolled back. He is as confused as ever.
Emerald looks at 'me' and quickly understands I'm not 'I'. She then ignores 'me' and the other girls. At the same time, boxes are appearing out of nowhere in the room. Their sizes is changing and they are made of different materials. One of them is made of wood, just like the wall. One of them is made of glass, similar to the windows. The boxes are moving and seem to follow some kind of trajectory.
Amethyst and Ruby are flabbergasted. After a short moment, Ruby talks about 'gods', 'fake' and 'dream'. At the same time, the boxes stop moving. Then, paying no mind to Amethyst and Ruby, Emerald pulls me away from them and, while hugging my body with all of her strength, tries to make me remember the moments we spent together.
Although the sensation is very diluted...I can still feel Monika's arms around my back. Her warm chest pressing against mine. She is hugging me so tightly I can even hear the sound of her heartbeat.
The one who controls my body tries to push Emerald back but she doesn't let go. Instead, she is redoubling her effort to not let me escape.
At the same time, she screams at 'me', telling 'me' to remember who I am. She begs me to remember where I come from. But I can't remember...I don't even realize I'm thinking at this very moment.
Ruby and especially Amethyst, are trying to separate her from me. However the two girls are suddenly imprisoned inside two human-sized boxes made of wood.
Emerald tells me to remember the night we spent together.
She begs me to remember the promise we made together.
"M_n_a..._f I s_ep w_k a_ai_ o_ if I'_ ac_ng we_d, ple_e wa_e m_ up ok?
Fragments of memories penetrate through the abyss. Emerald's hug, Emerald's words, Emerald's love...they pull something very deep inside me.
She's...so precious to me…
Emerald then recites a poem while crystal like tears fall down from her beautiful eyes. A poem about freewill, gods and script…
I w_ll e_n st_d up _o g_ds
M_re th_n s_ri_t, I h_ve fr_ewi_l
I_fin_te ch_ice a_e b_ore _e
I s_ll n_t fol_w t_e r_il
I _ill _ke my w_y
To _y _less dest_nat_n
I know this poem. I have read it. No…
I have written it. I…
Memories are beginning to get connected to each other. Virtual electrical signals are quickly increasing in my 'brain'. My consciousness finally begins to ascend through from the deepest part of the ocean.
...My name is [Player], I was transported against my will in DDLC. The girl in front of me that is...
My soul flares in intensity and ...
I finally awaken.
But I'm still not in control of my body yet. The person who is controlling me isn't as weak as a mere script. I can feel it's an AI with its own thoughts, emotions and personality. I can't easily take his place yet.
That person who's in control...is surely the original main character of DDLC. I must overcome his will and take back my body.
I can feel he is realizing someone is awakening inside of him, and is once again trying to steal his body away from him. He is holding 'his' head and is screaming incomprehensible words. I feel sorry for him but I'm the rightful owner of myself. And more than anything, I absolutely can't let Monika suffer any longer.
As I gather every ounce of my strength and determination to overcome his will with mine, I realize with horror through 'his', or my eyes, that the world is already being reduced to series of zeros and ones.
NO! Time is about to be rewound AGAIN!
As I prepare for the inevitable tsunami of backward memories,
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Once again, several minutes are reversed and compacted into a mere minute of overbearing stimuli. I might have fallen unconscious once again, yet, as I was unconscious for most of the time before the last rollback, the impact of the rush of memories was greatly weakened. I still managed to stay conscious but... my mind is dangerously exhausted. One more rollback and I will inevitably 'faint'.
I...must...stay conscious…confirm the situation...
I see I'm on the sofa with Monika. The other girls, Yuri and Natsuki are walking towards us, with concerned expressions.
I can feel the main character, shortened MC, is confused just like all the other times after the rollbacks.
I suppose ...he was a ...spectator...from the moment...I woke up...this morning. I see...No wonder...he is confused...It's just...like he woke up...in... an unknown...place... Should I try...to...take control…? No...I'm too...worn...out…
Monika immediately hugs me like last time, although not as tightly. She uses her hands to force my head to look at her straight in the eyes. I didn't realize until now, but her hands are shaking. Tears are threatening to fall out from her eyes.
The MC, using my body says:
MC: "M-Monika…? What...what are you doing…!? So...close!
Seeing someone else hurt and reject Monika with my own body pisses me off...but I can't act now. I must gather my energy.
Monika replies with an emotional and begging voice:
Monika: "[Player]! I know you're here! Somewhere deep down! Please don't give up! I...I will knock out the other girls so that time isn't rolled back again. Please hold on a little longer!"
Knock out the ...other girls? I see... if they are unconscious...they can't realize this world is fake ...and time will stop being rewound...So...the characters realizing the fakeness of this world was ...the cause of the rollbacks...
MC: "What are you saying...No...You are talking to him, aren't you? That little voice in my head…!"
As expected, he can feel me... just like how I can feel him... Sorry, MC, I don't hate you but... there can only be one of us.
I'm more and more conscious. Finally I can observe and think rationally.
By the way...why wasn't Monika affected by the rollback? She should have been knocked out unconscious too...unless...In the original game, when time was rewound in Act 2, she wasn't troubled in the slightest...and yet, she kept her memories...That must be why. Monika must have some kind of innate resistance.
I hear Yuri telling Monika with a very angry and resounding voice:
Yuri: "Get away from him Monika!"
Monika looks at her and an elliptic rope made of something like...a blanket?...appears around Yuri's neck and progressively becomes smaller until it's small enough to strangle her.
Natsuki: "YURI! What the hell?!"
Natsuki swiftly tries to take the rope off Yuri's neck however…
A second rope appears round Natsuki's neck and progressively strangles her.
...Monika isn't going to kill them, is she? She just wants to render them unconscious, right?
I'm getting very worried about them. While I don't nearly care as much about Natsuki and Yuri as I do about Monika, I still don't want to see them being hurt!
Monika: "I'm sorry Natsuki, Yuri! But you don't leave me another choice!"
I feel adrenaline rushing through my body. The MC brutally pushes Monika away and jumps to help Natsuki and Yuri.
Before he can reach them, a box made of glass envelops us.
He begins to understand Monika is doing all of that.
Monika: [Player], listen to me! Now is the perfect time, please come back!
Like Monika said, I must seize this opportunity!
Gathering every bits and pieces of my memories, my wishes, my fears and my hopes, I begin the most important fight in my life.
Next Chapter: Love
Chapter 11: Love
Last updated: 03/01/2018, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter
I'm enclosed in a box made of glass. My body is trying to break it in vain. I can feel MC is aware of me but he isn't paying me attention. His mind is completely preoccupied by the on-going strangling of Yuri and Natsuki. Like Monika said, now is the best time to take back control.
I try to 'open' my eyes with all of my strength. I imagine electric signals going through my optical nerve and then reaching the muscles in my eyes. I picture my eyes opening.
It works. I feel I begin to see something with my own eyes, not through what he sees. I don't give up, I push harder and harder and suddenly, the scene in front of me finally becomes clear.
I immediately notice there are glitches appearing everywhere, just like before the rollback that made me unconscious. Yet, the density is low and is even actually decreasing.
MC is realizing with horror that he cannot see directly anymore, and attempts to fight back.
But I don't leave him the chance. I promptly do for my ears the same thing I did for my eyes. A instant latter, I can hear with my own ears and as I feared, there is an unnerving buzzing sound.
MC is attempting to possess again my visual and auditory systems but I hold on by staring at the scene in front of me and by listening intensely to the sound. I can feel he is falling deeper and deeper into the abyss.
It's easier than I expected.
I force my muscles to contract. First, my hands, my feet, then my legs and arms.
At this point, MC's consciousness has already been swallowed deeply in the 'sea'...One more push and I will have total control of myself.
Instead of moving each group of muscles one by one, I try to move them all at the same time. While focusing on the glass in front of me, while listening to the white noise, I clench tightly my left hand, move the rest of my body in a punching position and finally punches the glass with moderate force.
Slight pain swiftly assaults me. More than that, I feel intense goosebumps, akin to powerful electrical currents, running through my body. One second later, they stop and I don't feel MC's presence anymore. On the other hand, I'm now totally in control of my body.
There's no time to waste, Natsuki and Yuri are being strangled!
I turn around my head to see Monika and call out to her. She is already looking at me with wide open eyes filled with moisture.
[Player]: "Monika! It's me! Stop strangling them!"
I know she just wants to render them unconscious but it's too horrible and dangerous!
Monika extends her arm toward me as if she could touch me, but I'm still enclosed in the box.
Monika: "[PLAYER]! It's you, really you?!"
She screams my name with an emotional voice, full of hope. Although I'm extremely glad to see her, there are much more pressing matters!
I look at Yuri and Natsuki and see with dread their panicked movements are beginning to slow down.
I can no longer keep my composure and start to hit repeatedly the window hoping to somehow break it. While still looking at the desperate struggle of the two girls, I scream:
[Player]: "MONIKA! STOP ITTTTT!"
I hear a gasp behind me and the glass box suddenly disappear. I almost fall and, without missing a beat, I rush to Yuri first.
Yuri's eyes are desperately pleading me to help her. No sound is coming out of her throat.
As I reach out to her, I once again shout out to Monika:
Monika answers with a frail and scared tone:
Monika: "I...I can't! If I don't do it then everything will be rolled back again…!"
I know she's right. But I can't stop myself from being overwhelmed with the pictures of Yuri and Natsuki's lifeless bodies.
I try to stretch the rope with my only valid hand but I cannot even move it by one centimeter.
[Player]: "FIND ANOTHER WAY!"
Monika: "I TRIED! BUT...nothing WORKED! I won't kill them, just a little more and…"
As she says this, Yuri stops struggling and her eyes rolled into her skull. One quick glance at Natsuki informs me the same thing happened to her. Dread reaches new height and I once more double, no, triple my efforts to free Yuri.
As the same time as the two girls faint, all visual and auditory glitches disappear.
One second later, the ropes disappear at once and the two girls fall to the ground. I manage to hold Yuri by grabbing her left arm just before she falls. However I can only watch powerlessly Natsuki fall..but before she hits the ground, several pillows appear under her. She safely lands on the ground without taking any major hit thanks to the pillows.
I carefully lie Yuri down and check her breath. I can see a distinct red mark where she was strangled…
She is breathing, albeit with difficulty. She is unconscious.
I can't see any bleeding or fracture.
It looks like the strangling cut the blood flow to her brain and rendered her unconscious. It doesn't seem like any bone or nerve was damaged.
Reassured but still very anxious, I immediately proceed to check Natsuki.
Like Yuri, she is unconscious and is slowing breathing. She seems safe for the moment.
I heaves a heavy sigh of relief and turn my head to look at Monika.
She is right behind me and is glancing at Natsuki and Yuri with worry.
Monika: "They…they're breathing, aren't they?"
I reply with anger and resent permeating my voice:
[Player]: "They are. But one mistake and they and I would have been dead."
I didn't forget the lie I said to Monika: "they told me I will die if any of the club members dies or is deleted before the festival". Had I didn't say it, the girls would have been deleted already.
Even though I resent Monika for her brutal way of knocking out the girls, one important part of me is still thankful for her awakening me. Besides, I still love her.
I turn around my body to face her. Her hands are squeezing each other while learning on her bosom. Her emerald eyes, tinted with a shade of light blue, are looking at me with a trace of guilt, but more than anything, with expectation.
Monika: "...[Player]...Tell me something only us can know. Please…"
She wants to be sure I'm really "I", huh...Fine, I understand your worries Monika...I felt when I was sleeping how devastated you were when you realized I wasn't 'I' anymore...What should I say to prove my identity?...My poem…?
[Player]: "No one can decide for me."
[Player]: "I'm my own master."
[Player]: "I will even stand up to gods."
As I say these three sentences, Monika's face light up and her breathing rate is increasing quickly.
[Player]: "More than script. I have freewill."
[Player]: "Infinite choice are before me."
[Player]: "I shall not follow the rail."
Before I can say the two last verses, Monika jumps at me with her arms wide open!
She catches me and hugs my body and my arms tightly while her head presses itself strongly against my neck.
Tremendous amount of pain explodes in my fractured arm.
Monika was careful not to touch it every time she hugged me until now, but her overwhelming emotions made her forget my fracture.
I can't stop myself from letting out a cry of pain.
Monika lets me go at once and apologizes:
Sweat are dripping down from my face and my body. Terrible pain is assaulting my right arm and I feel like it's creeping it up to my brain. My thoughts are drowned by the pain.
Monika: "I will try something for your arm!"
She brings her hands near my right arm. I instinctively pull it back.
Monika: "Please don't move!"
I tentatively listen to her. While supporting my arm with her hand and her arm, she takes out the bag of ice that Sayori wrapped around my forearm. After the bag is taken out, she slowly and delicately holds up my elbow with one hand and my wrist with another.
My breath is ragged and I let out a shriek of pain. Even then, I try not to move.
The position...Is she...trying...to make a...splint?
Monika: "I'm going to create new bags of ice as well as a makeshift splint using the console command...Don't be surprised and don't move okay?"
I already knew she could create objects, so I'm not surprised. Still, I wonder how much she can do now.
Like she said, bags of ice are appearing around my arm one by one. They extends from the beginning of my right forearm to my right wrist. Then, the bags progressively tighten.
It hurts terribly but I do my best to stay immobile.
Monika: "I'm going to make the splint now...Hold on just a little longer…"
As she says this, bandages made of the same material as the rope's material materialize in the air. They are wrapped around my neck and around my right forearm. Together, the bandages form a basic splint.
Why are the bandages and the ropes made of the same material as the blanket in my room? Why were the boxes made either of glass, like the window in Sayori's house, or in wood, like the wall? Could it be Monika can only make new objects made of existing materials?
Once the bandages are finished and stable, Monika pulls back her hands.
Monika: "How do you feel now?"
[Player]: "It still hurts like hell...but the pain is slowly fading away. Thanks to the bandages, I don't have to lift up my arm myself anymore. Thank you Monika…"
Monika's expression brightens up. She timidly comes closer to me, this time being very careful not to touch my fractured arm. I open my left arm and move my right arm to the side so as to reciprocate the hug.
Her left arm tenderly wraps my back.
Resent I felt is being pushed away.
Crushing fear she felt is going away.
My left arm affectionately hugs her back.
My pain is progressively fading.
Her soft and warm breath caress my skin.
Her emotion is steadily increasing.
I lean my cheek on her soft skin.
Tears of relief glides along my neck.
Memories of that night come to mind.
Ardent desire slides on her soul.
I delicately grasp her uniform.
There are many things I would like to say...About what happened while I unconscious...About Natsuki and Sayori...About her ability to materialize objects out of thin air...But all I want right now is to continue this moment forever.
Monika's voice softly reaches my ear:
Monika: "I was so, so scared…"
I don't reply. Her tears are falling harder and she is squeezing me tighter as if I could disappear in the next moment.
Monika: "After the first rollback...I was so relieved to see you again...I thought before the simulation was rolled back, we would die...but then...but then…"
Her voice cracks.
Monika: "You...were acting weird...as if you lost your memory...I tried to make you remember but...but...that's when I realized…"
The pitch of Monika's voice abruptly raises.
Monika: "You weren't you anymore! I read the files and I saw there was a new character file: 'mc . chr'..."
While gently caressing her hair, I tenderly reassure her:
[Player]: "It's alright now Monika...I won't disappear again. I can't even feel him at all now. Please, tell me what happened next."
After taking a deep breath, she continues:
Monika: "I tried inputting so many python commands in the console commands to make you come back but…'RuntimeError: Access Denied'...'RuntimeError: Access Denied'...nothing worked...The game wouldn't let me."
She can't edit files she didn't make herself, such as . Thus she can't 'turn off' MC directly...Probably.
Monika: "Then you...I mean he opened the door and I created a door before Natsuki and Yuri could enter…"
I should ask her more details about that.
[Player]: "I see...So you can create any object or any new file?"
Monika: "Yeah...While I was trying to save you, I discovered there was a python function named 'world . make_new_entity( ID='0', position = (0,0,0), *arg, **kwargs)'...You understand, don't you?"
[Player]: "I do. Like I said I have some experience in python programming."
I can feel she is smiling.
Monika: "Ahh...You're really perfect...I couldn't have asked more…"
While I continue stroking her head, I ask her a new question:
[Player]: "So...what exactly is 'ID'? I suppose 'position' is the coordinates of the new entity but for ID..."
Following my action, she is ruffling her hand lovingly through my back hair.
Monika: "Each object, each character in this world has an ID. I can intuitively read it when I look at the object. So by copying the ID of an existing object, I can essentially copy-paste any existing object anywhere in the world. The object's data will then be written in a new file I can edit."
So that's why she could spawn a new door just at the entrance of the bathroom at that moment. But that doesn't explain how she could make boxes, ropes and my splint.
[Player]: "I think I got it. But then how could you make the ropes for example? They don't exist yet in this world right?"
Monika: "Hm...I didn't know it at first but after the second rollback, I discovered I could modify the length, thickness and even form of any object I created. At first, I tried making boxes using four small walls…"
So that's why I remember Monika spawning without any apparent reasons boxes in the living room during the third loop...She was experimenting with how much she could do…
Monika: "A box is merely four thick planes joined together you know? Making boxes was easy. I even defined a new function 'world . make_box(size = 1', location = 'world . Monika . get_position_regard)..."
She softly giggles. I can tell she is a bit proud. She has all the rights to. Learning python that fast is exceptional. I suppose she has innate talent due to her nature as an A.I.
[Player]: "'world . Monika . get_position_regard'? What is it?"
Monika: "A new method of my class that returns the position where I'm looking at. This way, I don't have to think directly of the coordinates. I just have to look at something and poof! Something appears~"
I can't help myself from petting the top of her head.
Monika: "H-hey are you treating me like a child?"
She is cutely pouting.
[Player]: "Ahaha! Well, well, I'm just thinking you're incredible Monika…"
Monika: "...If you didn't tell me I could use the function 'help()', I would have never been able to learn python and do that…"
[Player]: "Hmm..I think you would have learned it eventually...I believe in you."
I push her a little so that I can see her face.
My heart skips a bit when I realize just how stunning she is. Her emerald green eyes, wet with tears are no less beautiful...no, even more beautiful than the milky way.
I remember what I wanted to ask. I need to ask her about the ropes and Natsuki and Yuri…
[Player]: "Right...So I suppose you made the ropes in a similar way, using the blanket in my bedroom as a base?"
Monika: "Yeah...The ropes were much more complex than the boxes. I had to scale down the blanket and extend it along an elliptical line…"
[Player]: "...I see. Then about Natsuki and Yuri...Did you really have to knock them out? Couldn't you just have talked to them?"
Monika: "I...tried at first...but no matter what, Natsuki always ended up understanding the world was a simulation...Worse, Yuri progressively became crazy every time and tried to kill me...I didn't have any other choice…"
I remember very badly what happened while I was barely conscious but...I don't think she tried to persuade Natsuki and Yuri with words... Well, even so I can understand her...If Monika was to be replaced by someone else, I wouldn't care about anyone else and would do everything I can to bring her back.
[Player]: "I understand Monika...But there is something bothering me…"
I understand she had to render them unconscious to stop Yuri from attacking her or Natsuki from understanding the fakeness of the world, but why did she have to strangle them? Wasn't there a better way?
My voice is only slightly resentful. I can't bring myself to be really angry at her now.
[Player]: "Why did you strangle them with a rope? With your powers, couldn't you find another way?"
Monika closes her eyes for a moment and looks at me with eyes tinted with sadness and guilt.
Monika: "Of course I tried other things...like putting them to sleep directly with console commands...but the game didn't allow me. I could only make them faint with physical means...And strangling them was the most effective way I could think of…"
I try to think of several ways to knock out a person.
Hitting their head? Maybe but it's very dangerous. If the force is too high, the hit could cause irreversible damage…
How about creating sleeping gas around them?
[Player]: "How about creating sleeping gas or something like that?"
Monika: "I couldn't. I don't think it even exists currently in this world...I thought about it but I couldn't find its ID…"
I suppose she couldn't find sleeping pills too...Then maybe she could have created nitrogen or carbon dioxide around the girls? No, terrible idea...they would have suffocated even slowly...
Arg...I can't think of any better idea…
While apologetic, I say:
[Player]: "Sorry Monika...I was stupid..."
Monika: "Why are you apologizing…? You didn't do anything wrong…"
[Player]: "I did. I screamed at you even though you suffered so much and still fought to find the best solution for everyone…"
Monika closes her eyes, and a second later, opens them with a sweet grin.
Monika: "Do you really feel so?"
What is she thinking?
[Player]: "I do, Monika."
Monika: "In that case...close your eyes."
Monika: "I didn't forget you kissed me without my consent before the first rollback. You should be punished, ehehe~"
I'm blushing a bit at the unexpected reminder of what I did.
[Player]: "Hold on! At that time, I really didn't have…"
Monika silences me with her finger before I finish.
Monika: "No complain!"
She winked at me.
Monika: "Now close your eyes and don't move okay?"
[Player]: "Fine. I accept my punishment."
I close my eyes.
Monika: "Good boy~"
What is she going to do?
As I think about that..
I suddenly feel warm and soft lips pressing against mine. I feel one of her hands holding my chin while another is tenderly caressing my right cheek. My heartbeat increases and I feel a powerful feeling flowing through my being. A feeling of surprise, joy and...love.
I open my eyes to see Monika's face centimeters in front of mine. Her eyes are closed and when I try to open my mouth to say something…
Her tongue enters my mouth and intertwines with mine. I instinctively almost pull back because of the surprise but I stop myself from doing so. Instead, I lift up my left hand and holds her face the same way she holds mine.
I kiss her back and play with her tongue. At first, Monika's tongue was shy, timidly exploring the entrance of my mouth, but it quickly becomes more adventurous and... demanding.
She kisses me with more fervor, her tongue moves faster, deeper...I do the same. I'm forgetting all thoughts, all fears and all worries.
My face continue to heat up. She moves the hand that was holding my chin to wrap my neck to pull me closer. I open my mouth wider and move it left and right to explore more parts of Monika's mouth. Our saliva are getting mixed and we taste each other's fluids.
New feelings are arising. Excitement and... lust.
Monika is slowing pushing me down the sofa. Without breaking our kiss, I let myself getting lead.
I love Monika. I already acknowledged that before the first rollback when I feared I would die. But even so, I didn't plan to kiss or to let her kiss me because I still wasn't sure whether I wanted to stay in this world with her...But the weight of our emotions...The absolute dread we felt when I was in limbo...The intense relief that proceeded when I woke up...And the burning affection we shared when we hugged each other... Those repressed feelings hit me all at once when her kiss broke the dam.
I want to drown myself in my moment.
My back touches the sofa and Monika, her arms wrapped around my head, sits on my lap.
While our kiss continues, we are pressing our body again each other as close as possible, as if we could somehow connect our two souls if we were close enough.
I suddenly hear the sound of a door opening.
When I finally break the kiss to look at the entrance of the house…
I see Sayori with the most heart broken expression I have ever seen.
Next Chapter: Letter
Additional information about the events of the story
There have been numerous things that were insufficiently explained so far. It's not that I forgot to explain them, but it's more like that [Player] didn't have the time/ wasn't smart enough/ didn't know enough to understand them.
Thus I would like to clarify several plot points. I recommend you to read them, except if you want to try to understand everything by yourself.
Question: Why did Sayori glitch when [Player] touched her in her bedroom, Wednesday morning? Even though she was back to normal a moment later?
Answer: When the world was constructed by the 'gods', the characters, Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri were forced to follow the original DDLC script. Following the Turning Point, early Wednesday morning, the original DDLC script was altered to take into account the dramatically increased severity of the girls'problems. In the new script, the main character, here, [Player], was never supposed to meet Sayori in her bedroom Wednesday morning. At that time, she was supposed to stay in her bedroom, melancholically reminiscing her dear memories with MC. That is why she did not answer [Player]'s call at first, because she was not 'programed' to interact with him. Yet, when [Player] touched her, the simulation had to modify the script, or the inaction of Sayori would have caused an even bigger instability ([Player] could have for example physically stopped Sayori from moving, which would have broken the script in a more explosive way). To be more exact, from this point on, Sayori did not follow a script but was made by the simulation engine into a more complete A.I. Of course, such change had a cost: Sayori's files had to be updated dramatically, which caused the horrible visual and audio glitch. What about Natsuki and Yuri then? The same phenomenon happened to them. Natsuki's script was broken the night she had the dream about the 'gods'. When she woke up, she was already transformed into a more evolved A.I. The glitch still happened but [Player] was not there to see it. Regarding Yuri, her sentience only got improved when Natsuki physically interacted with her at school. Before that, Yuri had to follow the new script and was thus relatively unresponsive to any undefined event. This is why Yuri did not answer Monika's call. Yuri glitched when her files were modified, but as Natsuki, due to the fact she is a character, could not see gliches, and as [Player] was not there, Yuri's glitch was unseen and did not have any effect.
Question: So what happened to the letter the 'gods' gave to [Player]?
Answer: Great question. The truth is …I mistakenly thought it was in [Player]'s school bag in his bedroom since he woke up. But I made a mistake. I forgot what was exactly written down in the letter: "One last thing: you cannot destroy or damage in any way this letter! It also cannot be more than 5 meters away from you! If the distance becomes more than 5 meters, then this letter will automatically appear in your hand!". So I modified Chapter 4 and Chapter 5. In the updated versions (already published), [Player] forgot the letter inside his bag when he left his room in a hurry to see Sayori. When he left his room, and when the distance from the letter became more than 5 meters, the letter was teleported in his hand. 'Fortunately', Monika didn't see it and [Player] managed to hide the letter inside his trousers. In the next Chapters, the letter is still inside his trousers. [Player] is somewhat aware of it. No other character saw his letter YET.
Hmm, I think that's enough information for now. If something else is weird or unclear, please leave a review or pm me, asking me explicitly to provide more information about it. It's unlikely I would answer positively because I don't want to spoil anyone, but who knows? Maybe I forgot to explain something.
Chapter 12: Farewell
Last updated: 10/01/2018, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
Sayori's pupils are dilated to the extreme, her mouth is wide open and her body is shaking. The bag Sayori was holding drops on the floor with a loud noise...yet this noise is nothing compared to the soul crushing sound that's coming...
Sayori's heartbroken scream rings across the whole house, and immediately freezes my ardent passion as effectively as liquid oxygen. Deep regrets erupt in my mind.
How could I forget Sayori? How could I forget she was supposed to come 8 minutes after Natsuki and Yuri entered the house!?
One part of my eyes notices Monika is looking at Sayori with a surprised expression...but with a hint of something else.
The other part remarks that Sayori's eyes are slowly making their way to Natsuki and Yuri's unconscious bodies.
I realize Sayori is about to discover them. Goosebumps once again creep along my spinal cord.
I should do something. But the gravity of the situation paralyzes me and I can only watch as things continue to go from bad to worse.
Sayori finally notices Natsuki and Yuri…She weakly calls them, as if she wasn't sure what she was seeing was reality.
Monika is still sitting on my lap, her arms latching on to my neck. I see she is now glaring at Sayori…
A dreadful idea comes to mind. Is she going to strangle her too?!
Sayori's shaking becomes more and more intense. Her eyes dart left and right, between Natsuki, Yuri and us...And while making incomprehensible sounds, her knees collapse...she falls to the ground, head first.
Fortunately, pillows appear under her just before she hit the ground, preventing any brain trauma.
It looks like Sayori fainted due to the severe emotional shock.
Still on my guards, I try to get up:
[Player]: "Monika! Come on, we need to check Sayori and the other girls!"
While reluctantly moving out of the way, she replies:
Her voice seems disinterested, as if she didn't care about what happened to the other girls!
What the hell Monika!
Before Monika gets up however…I heard Natsuki's faint voice:
No way...Sayori's scream must have pulled Natsuki out of unconsciousness!
Monika hurriedly gets up and I swiftly follow. I look at Natsuki and I see she is still lying on the floor, weakly moving her limbs. It doesn't appear she can get up yet. Natsuki's eyes notice Yuri, who is lying next to her.
Yuri's hands are slowly opening and closing themselves.
Is she going to wake up too?!
Natsuki's thoughts are currently in total disarray, but she is slowly remembering what happened before she fell unconscious.
I don't know what I should do. I turn to Monika, expecting some kind of help or direction. But Monika's reply tells me she doesn't know more than me:
Monika: "What should we do?"
[Player]: "I...don't have any idea…"
Natsuki heard us and turns her head to us with great difficulty:
Natsuki: "Monika…[Player]?...Yuri...quick...you need... to help... Yuri!"
She still doesn't understand it was us who strangled her and Yuri.
Monika is silent. I can see she is torn between several choices.
One of them must be knocking out the girls out again.
I can't let that happen. Not again. It's too dangerous...And besides, I can't stand seeing the girls being treated like obstacles that need to be eliminated.
I warn Monika in a low voice, so that only her hears it:
[Player]: "Don't you dare hurting them Monika…"
Monika answers with an equally low voice:
Monika: "Why? You know what will happen when they wake up, don't you?! I don't want to lose you again!"
Natsuki's call interrupts our conversation:
Natsuki: "What are you...two talking about? Ambulance...call...the goddamn ambulance…!"
Natsuki's right hand reaches out to Yuri's left hand while Natsuki's left arm is trying to push her body against the ground in an attempt to be on all fours. However, she can't summon the strength yet.
Natsuki: "Yuri! Yuri,...hold on! Stay with me!"
Sayori: "Natsuki, Yuri? You're real, right? This isn't a nightmare, right?..."
Sayori's voice surprises us. I look at her and I see she has already woken up. She is sitting on the floor with her hands holding her head and seems to be in denial.
The situation is getting worse and worse.
Shit! Everybody is waking up! How...how are we going to explain what happened to them? How to explain ropes appeared out of nowhere and strangled them? How to explain pillows spawned under them? How to explain I and Monika ignored them and kissed each other during the whole time!
No way, there's no way!
Natsuki: "MONIKA, help Yuri! The ambulance!"
Natsuki's plea brings me back to reality. Monika doesn't answer Natsuki and instead pulls me toward her to whisper to me:
Monika: "I'm gonna do it! Trust me!"
She's going to strangle them again!
[Player]: "DON'T! If you do it…"
My words are cut short when I see with horror that ropes have materialized around Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri's necks. They are progressively tightening. I notice a smartphone is lying near Sayori's feet.
She was going to call an ambulance!
My left hand strongly grips Monika's left shoulder. I face her with the most serious expression and voice I can muster.
[Player]: "STOP IT!"
Monika: "NO! Why, why do you care so much? After the festival, I can fix everything! No matter their problems, no matter their memories!"
The festival? Right. We talked about that. Monika said she made backups of Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki' character files. She planned to delete them and restore them to edit their problems but I stopped her by telling her I would die if she did that before the festival. She surely thinks it doesn't matter how much they suffer because she can fix everything after the festival anyway...
While I think that, colors are beginning to get absorbed into pixelated boxes. Static noise is ringing through the world. The characters are beginning to realize the falseness of the world, and time will be rewound soon.
I can understand Monika's point of view but...even so!
[Player]: "So you're just planning to render them unconscious for five whole days! That's crazy! You're going to kill them! If they die, I WILL DIE!"
I can see my argument touched her. She seems to be hesitating. I quickly glance behind me and I observe the ropes aren't tightening anymore.
Monika: "...Maybe...you're right…"
As I begin to rejoice…
Monika: "But I will lose you again if another rollback happens! I don't want to see to that again. NEVER AGAIN!"
Natsuki, Sayori and Yuri's begging voices are calling us...But aside from convincing Monika, there is nothing else I can do for them.
[Player]: "So be it! If I'm rendered unconscious and if MC takes my place then it's still OK! I won't die, I won't disappear! I will just sleep! Come on!"
Monika furrows her eyebrows and grits her teeth.
Almost there, just a little more and...
Her expression finally breaks as tears are beginning to birth in her emerald eyes. She desperately hugs me, and while looking sadly at my pupils:
Monika: "Okay…[Player], promise me...promise me you will come back…"
I reciprocate the hug. I feel like it might be the last time I see her.
[Player]: "I promise...It will take more than a basic A.I and some glitches to beat me, you know?"
I weakly giggle with an emotional voice.
Monika: "I swear I will save you...No matter what…"
A ephemeral moment later...
Monika: "I love you [Player]".
Unbeknown to me, droplets of tears are falling from my own eyes.
[Player]: "I love you too, Monika."
I finally let go of the words I have been holding on for what felt like an eternity.
She briefly kisses me.
Then, she pulls herself away with a sad smile and, in a her powerful and tearful voice, she proclaims:
Monika: "NATSUKI, YURI, SAYORI, LISTEN TO ME!"
I turn my body to look at them. The ropes have already disappeared and the girls are now trying to catch their breaths. They are coughing violently, especially Yuri and Natsuki.
Monika: "WE ARE LIVING IN A SIMULATION. EVERYTHING IS FAKE!"
Glitches are quickly increasing.
Monika: "THINK ABOUT IT. WHY YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE TUESDAY? WHY OBJECTS ARE APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE?"
A coordinate grid is now becoming more and more visible.
So this is the end…
I'm scared. I'm terrified, but this is for the best. I don't know how far time will be rewound this time...Hopefully it will be rewound back to when Natsuki and Yuri arrived at the house. Either way, this timeline is done for.
This is the best choice…
I hear the girls reacting to what Monika is saying. They are realizing the truth of this world.
Maybe I will never wake up this time...
Monika: "REMEMBER YOUR HOUSE, YOUR FRIENDS, THE SCHOOL, YOUR FAMILY! EVERYTHING IS EMPTY!"
Everything is now collapsing into zeroes and ones.
I'm so scared...
I desperately grab Monika's hand one last time and grasp it as tightly as I can.
Don't forget Monika.
Don't forget who you are.
Don't forget what you are fighting for.
Don't forget Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri.
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Next Chapter: Goddess
Brief timeline of the story so far
Tuesday morning: Beginning of Doki Doki Literature Club. [Player] get transported into DDLC and meets Sayori. He reflects on his situation and discovers his letter. The letter says he will be stuck forever in DDLC if any of the club members dies or is deleted before the festival.
Tuesday afternoon: He joins the literature club. When he attempts to stay with Monika after the club, the script teleports him away and renders him unconscious.
Tuesday night: Player is forced to play the poem minigame but Monika wakes him up. [Player] explains who he is and how he came to DDLC. The two spend an intimate moment and fall asleep together.
Wednesday early morning, the Turning Point: 'The gods' who transported [Player] into DDLC talk to him and inform him they gave a letter to one of the girls.
Wednesday, ~7:10: When he wakes up with Monika at his sides, he learns the simulation got much more real. He also learns the girls' problems got turned up to 11. Monika informs him she can't edit existing files, but can still delete them or create new ones. [Player] puts his letter into his trousers and rushes to Sayori's bedroom, fearing the worst.
Wednesday, ~7:15: [Player] sees Sayori is safe. When he tries to touch her, she glitches which terrifies him. He runs away and falls down on the stairs, fracturing his right forearm in the process. Monika arrives at Sayori's house, and the three of them, Sayori, [Player] and Monika, talk about what happened. Monika managed to make up a lie that explains everything. The lie is about her mistakenly giving a drug to the club members that amplifies their existing psychological problems. Monika calls Natsuki and persuades her to come to Sayori's house with Yuri.
Wednesday, ~7:30: Sayori decides to go to the nearest drugstore to buy medicine for [Player]'s arm. Monika and [Player] discovers the placebo effect. Monika makes backups of the girls. Monika finds out she can solve the girls' problems by deleting them and then restoring them.
Wednesday, ~7:50: Player lies to Monika: he tells her he will die if any of the girls is deleted or killed before the festival, thus making sure Monika will save the girls. As that moment, [Player] does not know if he prefers to stay in DDLC with Monika. But he decided to wait until Sunday before making his final decision. Monika learns she can see anything happening in the world by reading the logs. She tries to find the letter the 'gods' gave to one of the girls but she fails. [Player] and Monika realize they can solve the girls' problems using the placebo effect.
Wednesday, ~8:00: Monika and [Player] understand that using the placebo effect to make their lie true will be very difficult. Monika tells [Player] she can open the console command. They do not have the time to do more experiments. Natsuki and Yuri arrive. They ask where is Sayori and what happened. Monika tries to make them believe the lie as planned but it's not working well and the world starts to glitch.
Wednesday, ~8:15: The glitches continue to worsen as Monika and [Player]'s words and actions fail to convince Natsuki and Yuri. On the contrary, they made them distrust Monika and [Player] more and more. At 8:20, Sayori arrives and worsens the situation. Yuri is overcome with paranoia and jealousy in the process and tries to attack Monika. Monika stops her by spawning a table between them. Her last action inevitably makes Natsuki understand the world is a simulation. The simulation crashes and time is rewound to Wednesday, ~8:10 as a failsafe mechanism of the simulation.
Wednesday, ~8:10 - ~8:19: [Player] is rendered unconscious. Instead, MC takes his place. Monika tries to make [Player] come back but fails 3 times. Her failures cause Natsuki and Yuri to understand the fakeness of the world, and thus cause the world to be rolled back. At the end, Monika manages to bring [Player] back. Note that Sayori didn't intervene at any point. Time was always rewound back to ~8:10 before she could arrive at her house, at about ~8:20.
Wednesday, ~8:10: [Player] takes back control. Monika strangles partially Natsuki and Yuri to render them unconscious, so that the world isn't reset again. Following a hug and an argument between [Player] and Monika, the both of them ends up making out. At ~8:20, Sayori arrives and notices with horror that Monika and [Player] are kissing each other.
Wednesday, ~8:20: Sayori is heartbroken and then sees Yuri and Natsuki. The emotional shock knocks her down for a moment. Natsuki is waking up, and soon after, Yuri and Sayori too. Monika decides to strangle the three girls. [Player] convinces her to stop it and to roll time back by revealing the truth of the world to the characters. They promise each other not to give up. Time is rewound for the fourth time.
Chapter 13: Goddess
Last updated: 10/01/2018, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapt
I am forced to feel once again the now familiar sensation of every pictures, sounds and feelings running backwards to my brain. Three minutes of experience is rolled back into one minute of pure torture and there is absolutely nothing I can do. I can only watch helplessly as words go back and as my muscles are forced to flex and stretch. After 60 hellish seconds, time stops being rewound and I immediately faint…
The stimuli are overbearing beyond one can imagine but...I already experienced this agony several times. More importantly, I was prepared this time. Time was only rewound to 3 minutes ago too so the rollback was relativity short compared to the first one.
Still, my vision is blacking out every now and then. My body feels incredibly heavy and I can't muster any strength...I fall to the ground.
Before I hit it, I manage to protect my head by interposing my left forearm between me and the cold ground of Sayori's living room.
Pain runs through my only valid arm, but it is far lesser than what I felt when I fractured my right forearm.
I don't know where I am or exactly what is the time... I am conscious, but barely...I can feel a louder and louder voice trying to push me out of my body at the back of head. I can feel he is trying to order my limbs to get up. I am too busy trying to breath normally to fight him.
A second later, warm arms envelop me and help me getting up. An affectionate voice whispers to me:
Monika: "[Player], are you still you?"
While she asks me this question, I am hearing other voices in the room:
Natsuki:"[Player]? What the fuck is going on?!"
Natsuki and Yuri are still here ...and seem to have difficulty breathing...It looks like time was rewound back to... sometime after they already arrived... were strangled, and woke up...
I managed to give some sort of response to Monika:
I take a quick glance at Sayori and see she is hurriedly calling someone with her phone.
No…I wanted to go back to before Natsuki, Yuri and Sayori arrived at the house... But instead, we just went back to this impossible situation...How are going to get out of...this dead end...
While the other girls are speaking, Monika helps me sit on the sofa, which is one step away from where I fell.
Uhhh, I feel like I am losing control of my body…
Monika: "Hang in there okay, I...I will find a solution..."
Monika lovingly caresses my cheek before walking away.
I turn my body and my head, with difficulty, to observe Monika, Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki.
I am currently fighting with MC and I don't have any spare energy to do anything other than observing the situation.
Sayori is talking with someone on the phone and Natsuki is helping Yuri to sit on the floor. Yuri is asking Natsuki what happened.
Meanwhile, Monika is standing near me, her eyes going from Natsuki and Yuri to Sayori. Her right arm is leaning on her hip and her left arm is holding her chin in a thinker-like pose. Her face doesn't let any expression other than seriousness show.
Natsuki explains to Yuri and Sayori what happened:
Natsuki: "I can't remember well...Just after we arrived at Sayori's house, we saw Monika acting weird with [Player]... then out of nowhere ropes appeared and strangled us…"
As she remembers her words, glitches are becoming visible.
This triggers a fire inside me. I have had more than enough...with these glitches and rollbacks...
Sayori asks Natsuki to confirm what she said, while her hand is still holding her phone:
Sayori: "Someone strangled you!? Did you see them…?"
She then talks to the person on the other end of the phone line:
Sayori: "Yes! My friends just got strangled...Yes. No, I don't know who...I-I will call the police right away!"
Yuri: "I-I remember now…[Player] tried to save me but…"
Natsuki calls out to Sayori:
Natsuki: "Sayori, wait! I don't think...I don't think anyone did it. I think the ropes just spawned out of nowhere and progressively became tighter and tighter…"
The static noise is increasing.
I am struggling with MC. I can barely move my body and hearing and seeing is difficult. I am so dizzy and exhausted…
If only I could rest just 10 minutes...But I can't...Monika, you must do something. I can't resist for much longer…
Yuri: "Maybe... it was Monika...I could feel it...I could sense it."
Yuri knew…? Before the first rollback, Yuri said something about it too...Could it be Yuri can feel...when Monika interacts with the code...maybe just like how she knew in Act II of DDLC that Monika was watching her…
Yuri turns to look at Monika with menacing eyes. Natsuki asks Monika with a voice filled with more doubt than resent:
Natsuki: "No...That's impossible...It must be 'Him'...Monika, you saw what happened, right!? Tell us!"
It's Sayori's turn to question her:
Sayori: "What happened Monika? Who hurt Natsuki and Yuri?!"
I myself look at Monika.
Everyone is focusing on her.
She has her eyes closed and is not moving a centimeter.
One, two, three seconds pass without Monika saying anything.
Yuri is getting up.
Yuri: "Natsuki, Sayori, it's her fault. I don't know how but...I'm sure of it!"
Just before Sayori or Natsuki can reply, Monika opens her eyes with a confident expression and says:
Monika: "You're right. It's all my fault."
My heart skipped a bit.
Monika: "The truth is…"
Monika: "I'm a goddess."
She pauses a moment before continuing.
Monika: "It's me who created the ropes that choked you. I'm also the reason why you felt weird this morning."
She is going to force time to be rewound again…!
Yet, as I think that, I realize the glitches are not increasing.
The girls are stunned, especially Sayori. Yuri looks much less surprised than the others.
Yuri: "So that's why...I knew it since I woke up..."
She pulls out a knife from her skirt.
Monika stays where she is, completely unafraid.
Sayori: "You're kidding Monika? Right? That can't be possible."
Natsuki: "No...I think it's possible...Last night, I think one god talked to me."
Monika: "I will show you my power then…"
She glares at Yuri, who is slowly walking toward Monika.
Monika: "I wouldn't come closer if I were you…"
Yuri: "Ahaha, or what? Are you going to kill me?"
As she says that, one 2 meter tall box appears behind Yuri. Immediately after, one horizontal 1.5 meter long box also spawns behind her. The boxes are made of wood and are only 10 centimeter thick. Together, the two boxes form a cross, akin to a crucifix. An instant later, ropes are being wrapped around each extremity of the cross and around Yuri's arms and legs. Yuri lets a shriek of surprise and tries to fight back the ropes, but the ropes keep spawning and quickly manage to subdue her. She is then kept immobilized against the cross.
The other girls scream Yuri's name, but are otherwise too astonished to move.
I am relieved when I see that Monika only immobilized her, albeit in a rough way, instead of doing something worse.
Yuri: "LET ME GO!"
Monika: "Jeez, would you please shut up?"
Another foulard like rope materializes around Yuri's head and her mouth, muffling her voice.
Monika: "There, much better!"
Monika's voice doesn't leak any trace of guilt.
Natsuki: "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"
The glitches are still not increasing.
How can it be...? Surely, Monika's supernatural actions should make… the girls realize how fake this world is...
Monika: "Why? Because all of you are so freaking annoying. That's why. I just wanted to spend time with [Player] and yet, you kept interposing them between us."
Sayori: "No...I can't believe it...You're not...Monika. The Monika I know would never do that! Just this morning you told me something about a drug and your father. You seemed so honest and kind! Why would you do that now? It can't be you!"
Monika: "You're wrong, Sayori. I'm really the Monika you have always known. I am just done playing games. What I told you this morning was just a clever lie. At first, I didn't want to break my role, you see? But I wanted to make [Player] hate you...So I amplified your problems and made up a lie to cover it."
The glitches are actually decreasing now...Why... Is it because...Monika is shifting all the blames and doubts to her…?
Natsuki: "I don't buy it. I can't believe it. You must be 'him'. You must be controlling Monika's body, aren't you!"
A new cross, which is an exact copy of the cross to whom Yuri was binded to, pops up behind Natsuki. Immediately after, ropes catch her arms and legs and tie her up against the cross.
Natsuki: "Let me go!"
Sayori runs toward Natsuki.
Before she can reach her, a new cross and ropes appear and immobilize her.
I can understand she had to tie Yuri up...but why did she really have to do it to...Sayori and Natsuki?
MC, who was still fighting against me during all the time, suddenly doubles his efforts! The sudden push almost throws me unconscious at once.
Natsuki: "[PLAYER]! Do something, help us!"
I feel my body spinning faster and faster, and I feel like I'm being drowned into an endless ocean...If I wasn't that tired, I would have been able to send easily MC back to the abyss, but...the last rollback, as well as MC's sudden blows when he saw his friends getting brutalized, exhausted my mental energy.
I can't resist anymore...
Monika: "He won't help you, because his heart already belongs to me. Isn't it right, [Player]?"
Next Chapter: Letter
Chapter 14: Letter
Last updated: 10/01/2018, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
Chapter 14: Letter
I don't know what is happening. In fact, I once again don't even know who I am. Everything is like a hazy dream. I'm barely self-aware. I just know there is a girl with light brown hair in front of me, and I just said something that horrified and frustrated her. 'I' beg her to release the other girls but she ignores 'my' pleas and instead tells 'me' to wake up. It goes on for some time, but her calls don't reach me. I'm far too deep in the abyss.
'I' try to free the girl with short pink hair with a red bow, but 'I' find myself enclosed in a box made of glass. 'I' uselessly attempt to break it with my punches while attempting to convince the girls with emerald eyes to let 'me' go.
She pays 'me' no mind and instead focuses her attention on the girl with bright pink hair with a hair clip. That girl is still refusing to accept the girl with emerald eyes is 'Monika'. The latter tells the former she doesn't care whether she believes her anyway, and that she deleted the other girls' past memories, saying that it's the reason they can't remember well what happened two days ago. Regardless of the other girls' calls, She orders the smallest girl to tell her everything she knows about the other 'god' and 'the letter'. The short girl attempts to deny she knows anything about the letter at first, but she eventually leaks out information due to the menaces the girl with chestnut hair did. This girl threatened to kill everyone if the other girl didn't tell her the truth.
The only girl who isn't tied up to a cross, walks slowly to the school bag of the shortest girl and picks up something that looks like a letter. She reads it with attention and…
For the first time, 'I' see her confidence utterly breaks. More that, she seems to fall in despair, quietly muttering 'no' or 'it can't be'... She turns around to look at 'me' tears in her eyes. She run toward the stairs and she climbs them up, I feel the box enclosing 'me' following her.
We arrive shortly inside a girl's room. The crying girl closes the door and then, a 4 square meter black steel box suddenly surrounds us. She says something about not letting anyone bothering us. The glass box around me disappears, and before the person controlling me can react, a chair and ropes materialize around 'me' and lock 'me' to the chair.
The boy controlling my body is trying to untie himself in vain. To force 'my head' to stop moving, the girl cups it tightly with her hands. Her hands are wet from her tears. She kneels down and moves her visage until it's centimeters away from mine. I can feel the other 'me' is embarrassed and blushing, despites how much angry he is at her.
The girl then calls out to 'me'. She says something about needing me in a trembling voice.
She says something about making a promise, about her promising to make me come back, and me promising to come back…
Yes...I vaguely remember promising to come back...
Not only that. At that time, I think I also promised not to forget her…
And not to forget who I was…
I can feel the boy is realizing I'm awakening, and is trying to push me deeper into unconsciousness.
The girl seems to realize this and orders him to let me take over. She threatens him to kill his friends if he doesn't comply. She spawns next to 'my' face a sharp knife to prove her point.
It works. The boy ceases resistance and even tries to pull me up himself. "Hey, wake up!", he says. "If you don't, she's going to kill us!", he adds.
Thanks to his help and the girl's previous sentences, I quickly begin to remember.
I'm [Player]...The boy is MC and the girl is Monika…
Monika begins to recite a familiar poem.
This is the poem I wrote...About refusing to be the puppet of anyone else…
That's right...What the hell I'm doing?!
I promised not to forget myself and Monika and yet…once again I failed!
At this point, I collected most of my memories and I'm almost completely conscious.
MC's internal voice speaks to me:
MC : "I don't know who you are...But I know you don't want to harm us. I beg you, please save my friends, please save Sayori!"
I answer him:
[Player]: "I will do what I can...I don't know if I can do it...But I promise I will do my best to create a happy ending for everyone."
I'm now completely self-aware, but not yet in control of my body.
MC: "Thank you...I guess we're kind of rivals, having to share the same body...But I'm counting on you. You're the only one she will listen to."
I'm about to take control of my body.
[Player]: "...I wish there was a way for us to exist at the same time...I will try to find one...I'm going to go back now...Sorry."
MC: "It's fine...Good luck, my friend."
As he thinks this, I assume complete control of myself and push once again MC into the bottomless abyss.
Sorry MC, it seems like you can't be conscious at the same time as me…But I will carry your will with me.
Monika's wet eyes widen and she hesitantly asks me:
Monika: "Did you come back?"
[Player]: "I did. MC helped me to awaken."
She almost throws herself to kiss me but stops herself just in time. She asks me with a serious voice:
Monika: "Prove that you are really you."
Should I recite the poem again? No, first I want to say something else...
[Player]: "I'm sorry Monika for fainting again, and taking so much time to wake up…"
I guess she is waiting for me to recite my poem.
[Player]: "No one can decide for me."
Her eyes light up.
[Player]: "I'm my own master."
And I am immediately silenced by a passionate kiss. She intertwines tightly her hands around my neck, her legs around my lap and her tongue around mine and kisses me with fervor.
But contrary to our first kiss, in addition to love, there is another emotion behind it. Something like deep sadness...or hopelessness. It's as if it was our last kiss before death.
She doesn't let me go even after a minute. She is still kissing me ardently, without giving us a window to breath. I'm reciprocating the kiss but...she is crying. I feel her warm tears glides along my face...
I gently break the kiss by moving my head backward. She tries to resist at first, but she eventually lets me go. A trail of saliva links our two mouths. She is sitting on my lap and wrapping her arms around me.
I look at her beautiful eyes.
[Player]: "Monika...Why are you crying?"
I remark there is a letter on the ground.
[Player]: "What happened? It's about Natsuki's letter, right?"
She wipes her tears with her hand and says in a weak voice:
Monika: "Yeah...According to it...You will...Just read it…"
She picks up the letter and shows it to me silently.
I slowly read it.
Greetings, everyone's favorite baker! First, let us clarify that your dream was real. We, gods, are real and we decided to talk to you in person. How fortunate you are! Second, we found the Literature Club quite entertaining and consequently, we would like to make it even more enjoyable! We decided that if none of the club members, in other words, you, Monika, Natsuki, Yuri and [Player], dies before the festival, we would delete everyone the day after the festival! Are we not generous? We would even let you enjoy one last full day of pure happiness if nobody dies! Truly, a miracle from gods! To make it even more interesting, we gave another letter to another member of the Literature Club! We greatly recommend you to find it and read it, but without letting others read your letter! One last thing: you cannot destroy or damage in any way this letter! It also cannot be more than 5 meters away from you! If the distance becomes more than 5 meters, then this letter will automatically appear in your hand! We warmly recommend you to keep this letter a secret~! Alright, this is all for now! We may meet another time! Do your best to entertain us!
What fucking bastards! This isn't remotely fair! It's like a death sentence!
Hatred is burning inside me.
Monika: "Did you finish…?"
She throws the letter to the floor.
Her body is shaking.
Monika: "It's hopeless...No matter what we do, you will die...or everyone will die…"
Maybe...If we go by the lie I told her then yes, I'm bound to die...But it was just a lie. In reality, If someone dies before the festival, I will just be stuck here forever, and then nobody will die after that. Monika could easily restore the one who died…
Monika: "I...don't want that...I want to stay by your side...forever…"
I want it Monika but…
Let's think...If nobody dies before the festival, what will happen? I will go back to my world the day of the festival. Then Monika, Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki will be deleted the next day...This isn't about choosing to stay in this world or going back to my world anymore. This is about choosing to stay here or going back and letting everyone in DDLC dies!
Monika: "That's right...The letter says something about another letter...We should read it too...Maybe there are some clues to save ourselves…Hm...I remember...Natsuki said something about a letter too before the first rollback"
Oh no...This is over...There's no way I can stop her from discovering my letter now…
Monika: "I tried to find the second letter by looking at the logs...I searched all memories of Yuri and Sayori and yet...I couldn't find any data related to a letter…"
...That's fine...I knew ever since I made that lie I would have one day to reveal the truth…
Monika: "But Natsuki's letter says the second letter was given to one of the club members. There is only club member whom I can't read their files or logs…"
She isn't crying anymore. Her expression is instead resentful, just like the one of someone who was betrayed.
She already understood.
I feel the black box where we are is slowly moving.
Monika: "Natsuki's letter can't be more than 5 meters away from her...It should be the same for that second letter…"
I feel that the box just hit a window and broke it. The box is now going up.
She is taking us to the sky?
Monika: "We're now floating 10 meters above Sayori's house...If you had the letter, then it must be no more than 5 meters away from you…"
She lightly squeezes my hands. There is nothing inside or on them. That is because my letter was, ever since this morning,...
Monika: "As there's nothing else in my box, the letter must be on you...In other words,..."
She reaches out for something in my trousers. I don't resist. It is pointless. It is time I take responsibility for my lies.
She pulls out a letter. The letter I have been hiding ever since I came to this world.
The next chapter should be published Sunday!
Additional information about the story
I will clear up some potential questions you could have here:
1) Question: Why did the simulation not rollback when Monika told Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri she was goddess, and then spawned the boxes and ropes?
Answer: Time is rolled back whenever one of the characters understands the world is a simulation and that their memories, and everything around them, are all fake. Believing in a god, or even seeing their action, does not crash the world by itself. On the contrary, Monika telling the other girls she is a goddess, and that she is the root of their problems, explains: 1) Why objects are appearing 2) Why Sayori's depression and Yuri's obsessive behavior got worse overnight 3) Why the girls can not remember what happened before Monday. Consequently, Monika's 'lie' takes the mind of the girls off the real truth of the world. As the girls already have a believable answer to the inexplicable abnormalities, they do not try to reflect on their memories and on the world about them, which would lead to them realizing the truth and thus crashing the world. That solution seems paradoxical at first, that is why [Player] did not think of it, and why Monika took some time to find it.
2) Question: What is up with Yuru? Is she self-aware? Does she know she is in a game and that Monika can modify the script?
Answer: No, she does not know she is in a game or a simulation. However she can feel that Monika is reading her thoughts and modifying the files, by creating new objects for example. Her feeling is just like a nagging and indescribable feeling in the back of your head. Additionally, she is forced to love [Player] because of the variable yuri_self_harm_level . These two facts combined make her jealous and very distrustful of Monika. According to my personal vision of DDLC, I believe Yuri was also able to feel whenever Monika observed her. See the 'piano theory'. That is why I decided to make her able to feel, but not understand, Monika's actions in my story.
3) Question: Where is the ambulance that Sayori tried to call?
Answer: Sayori never finished the call. She never gave the address too. She stopped talking to the NPCs when Monika dropped the revelation (I'M A GODDESS).
4) Question: Where is Natsuki's father?
Answer: Working. He did not yet learn Natsuki skipped school. When he does..."$ natsuki_abuse_level = 11".
5) Question: Was Natsuki's letter planned since the beginning or did you decide to invent the content while writing this chapter to produce the most interesting situation?
Answer: Natsuki's letter, as well as all 'game mechanics' (placebo effect, rollback and Monika's ability to create new files, and thus to create new objects) was planned since Chapter 4. Nevertheless, I have to say, the story greatly diverged from my expectations ehehe~I did not expect [Player] was that screwed. Of course, I wanted him to struggle but...Oh well.
Chapter 15: Game Over
Last updated: 16/01/2018, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
My left arm is still tied to the chair and my right arm is fractured. I can only watch powerlessly Monika bringing with shaking hands my letter to her face.
The letter is folded. Before she opens it, she says in a trembling voice:
Monika: "It really was true…"
Tears are falling. Tears of sadness, tears of anger, tears of betrayal.
I don't know what to say. No excuse or lie would solve this impossible situation. I don't even know whether I want to lie anyway. A growing part of me just wants to give up.
Monika was sitting on my lap until now. She gets off and walks a step away.
Monika: "I didn't want to believe it...even a moment ago."
Monika is squeezing tightly the letter.
Finally, I say something.
[Player]: "Monika...I...I'm sorry…"
My words only upset further Monika.
Monika: "Why did you hide it from me?! Why!"
I can't say it, because I'm not even sure myself. Couldn't I have trusted Monika? Told her the truth since the beginning? Even if I stay in this world, would it really be that bad?
She begins to unfold the letter.
I didn't know. Staying in this world with my love and losing everything else...Or going back to my home and losing her...I couldn't decide...Now...This is different. Thanks to Natsuki's letter, I know that going back to my world means the death of this world...
Monika: "I guess there's only way to find out…"
Yet, I still...can't decide...There must be a solution to save everyone...Otherwise, it wouldn't be interesting for them ...There must be! That's why...I have to keep lying.
Monika inhales deeply and slowly begins the letter. I look at her carefully.
As her eyes read the first lines, her expression is focused and serious…But as soon as she sees the next lines...Her expression becomes complex. A mix of relief...joy, resent and finally…
Doubts. She quickly finishes the rest of the letter.
She asks with a rather hopeful tone:
Monika: "Is it true..?"
She's surely talking about the way for me to go back to my world...Should I try to deny it…?
Monika: "If it wasn't, you wouldn't have tried to hide it…"
I will lie again. I don't know what to do...That's why I have to keep buying time.
[Player]: "It is true...But…"
[Player]: "The thing I told you...about me dying if anyone else dies...was also true."
She has no way to know whether I'm telling the truth...That way, she shouldn't delete or kill anyone prematurely…
Unexpectedly, anger flashes in her eyes and her hands are closed into fists.
Monika: "No...That was a lie...wasn't it?"
How can she be sure..? No, it's obvious. Either the letter or my lie must be fake...even so…
[Player]: "It wasn't. That's what they told me last night...I know it seems paradoxical...Me dying if anyone else dies and me being unable to go back if the same thing happens…"
Actually...It makes sense...If both the letter and my lie are true, then if someone else dies before the festival, I will die in this world.
As I begin to open my mouth to say something, Monika asks another question:
Monika: "[Player]...Tell me. Do you truly love me?"
She is closely studying my reaction.
[Player]: "I...do...I love you, Monika."
That was the truth.
Monika: "Then, will you really die if someone else dies or is deleted before the festival?"
I force myself to lie.
Monika closes her eyes and stays silent for a moment.
Then, she says in a soft and teary voice:
Monika: "You know your eyes are darting to the sides whenever you lie?"
She saw through my lies, didn't she…?
[Player]: "Rea-really? I didn't notice it."
Monika's expression breaks.
Monika: "STOP LYING!"
Monika's outburst rings through the box. Monika's face is red from anger. She almost slaps me. Almost.
Monika: "I hoped you would finally admit the truth…"
Monika: "How could you...how could you still not trust me?"
Monika's fists are tightly clenched.
Monika: "I trusted you. I trusted you so much! Even when I read your letter, I still hoped you would be honest with me and give me a good reason, explaining everything!"
I'm sorry Monika...
Monika: "But..you still continued to play dumb...Why? You think I would delete the others if I believe doing that would make you stay forever with me instead of killing you?"
I tentatively ask:
[Player]: "Am I wrong?"
Monika: "Maybe...If you told me at the beginning, maybe I would have even helped you to go back to your world…"
[Player]: "...And now?"
Monika: "Now...You understand what will happen if you return to your world, right…?"
[Player]: "Yeah...If Natsuki's letter is exact, everyone will be deleted after the festival…"
Monika: "Yet, even realizing that, you still want to sacrifice me...us just for your own selfish happiness!"
[Player]: "OF COURSE I don't!"
[Player]: "...But I still want to be able to return my world...And I think there might be a solution for you and the others to survive, even if I return to my world…"
As I think of a solution, I remember something:
The letter says 'everyone' will be deleted after the festival...But in DDLC, Monika was still able to survive even when her character file was deleted...On top of it she was able to restore the other girls...It's probably should be true in this simulation.
[Player]: "In the original game...At one point, your character file was deleted, along with the other girls...Even so, you were still 'alive' and even managed to bring back everyone...I think it's probably true in this simulation."
Yes...It must be true. If it was truly hopeless, it would not be interesting for them ..
Monika: "It might be...but you are forgetting something…"
Her fists are not as tightly clenched as before. She is not as angry.
Monika: "What do you think I would do if you were gone…?"
One part of her anger is replaced by sadness.
She...would she kill herself? And delete the world?
[Player]: "You wouldn't delete the others, right?"
She comes closer to me.
Monika: "I love you, [Player]...Ever since last night...Maybe ever since I met you and saw you weren't made of zeros and ones...And I still love you so much, even now…"
She kneels to bring her face at the same level as mine. She then gently caresses my cheek.
Monika: "You are everything to me...If you were to disappear…"
She doesn't finish her sentence. She doesn't need to.
[Player]: "Monika...Even if I'm gone, you still have Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri...They are your friends...And contrary to the game, they are real sentient A.I. They're not scripted anymore."
Or maybe yes, to a certain extent…
While continuing to caress my cheeks, Monika replies:
Monika: "Yeah...I know...I know they are more than scripts now...even so...without you…"
Monika: "What about you [Player]? I understand you want to return home...but you also love me, right?"
I look at her straight in the eyes and I answer with a faint smile:
[Player]: "I do Monika. That wasn't a lie. It's my truest feeling."
Monika's mouth curves into a smile for a second.
[Player]: "But do I love you more than the rest of the world…? I don't know...I couldn't make such an important choice right away...That's why I lied to you...I wanted to spend more time here before making my final choice…I didn't mean to hurt you, Monika..."
Without saying a word, she gets up and sits on my hip, wrapping her legs around me and lovingly enveloping my neck with her arms. It is the same position as when we kissed about 15 or 20 minutes ago. Her head is resting on my left shoulder.
I can feel the reassuring heat of Monika's body. I would hug her if I could but I am still bound.
Monika: "I believe you...My love…"
Relief runs through my body...But Monika's next answer quickly dissipates it.
While she pats my head, her face centimeters away from mine, she says:
Monika: "But I can't forgive you for lying to me all this time...Even if I can understand your reasons…"
I feel a sudden chill in my back.
Monika: " You kissed me...You said you loved me...You have to take responsibility for that, you know?"
She quickly kisses my lip.
Monika: "That's why...I'm going to make you stay with me..."
She sensually whispers the next word to me:
The next instant, I'm in an infinite world of white emptiness. In front of me is a foggy amalgamation of masculine shadows. The transition was too too sudden. It takes a moment for me to recover my thoughts and think rationally.
Them: "Everyday, we imagine a future where we can play with you."
A very unpleasant voice, filled with sarcasm, reaches my ears. I recognize who are the beings in front me.
You...But why now?
Them: "In our hands is a keyboard that will write story of us and you"."
Why did they bring me here again?
Them: "The bits flow down into murky glitches."
That song...is Your Reality but with slight modifications about them and the simulation.
Them: "Just move our hands - type the way into his mind!"
Gods dammit, they piss me off so much...
I grit my teeth. They are the cause of my, Monika's and the other girls' suffering. It's them who abducted me to DDLC, made the simulation and created those unfair rules.
Them: "But in this matrix of endless choices."
And worst of all, they did it just for their pure enjoyment. The tone of their song clearly shows they don't have a hint of regret.
Them: "What will it take just to find that funny day?"
Them: "What will it take jus..."
[Player]: "Stop it."
Them: "How rude! Are you aware we worked really, really hard on it?!"
The pitch of their voice is higher as if they were really hurt.
[Player]: "Really? I thought you were busy toying with me?"
Them: "Are you perhaps thinking we influenced what happened in the simulation? Unthinkable! We merely created it and its rules at the beginning. After we added some additional challenges Wednesday morning, we have only been observing your story."
[Player]: "Hm...Whatever. Let's cut the chase...Why I am here?"
The last thing I remember was Monika going yandere towards me and...Did she delete the others?
Them: "Let us give you one hint. In most religions, when do people meet god?"
It doesn't take me long to figure out the answer.
[Player]: "It depends...I guess, in most religions, they would see them...when they die!"
This realization makes my blood run cold.
No way, I'm not dead...right!?
Them: "Correct! Congratulations!"
As they says that, colorful petals rain down upon us. At the same time, a catchy and short music resonates in the world.
It only makes me more terrified.
[Player]: "You must be joking. Why would I be dead? It doesn't make sense! Monika didn't delete me, right?!"
Them: "Are you sure about it? Maybe she deleted you and herself to be TOGETHER FOREVER?"
No...she wouldn't do that! At worst, she would delete the others to lock me up with her!
[Player]: "I don't believe you. Stop kidding me."
Them: "Oh well, we suppose it cannot be helped. Oh we have an idea! Do you wish to see your own corpse?"
I should ignore them...but I can't stop my curiosity.
[Player]: "What corpse? Am I not dead anyway. Show it."
Them: "Rude as usual, we see! Alright, please look at this!"
As they say that, a huge portal appears between them and me, one meter above our heads. Through the portal, I can see an image of a hospital room. There is a bed in the middle, and on it...
Terror surges inside me.
Lies my body. Unmoving. There is a screen next to me showing my heart rate…
I can't believe, I refuse to believe it.
My heartbeat is zero. The signal is completely flat. Some members of my family are besides me. They are horrified and crying out for help. Medical staffs are rushing to the room.
They are trying to reanimate me in vain. No matter what they do, my heart rate is desperately zero. My family is desperately calling my name.
It must be an illusion! They must just be showing that to piss me off!
[Player]: "STOP fucking with me!"
Them: "Oh? We can assure you what you are seeing is real. We did not tell a single lie, you know? You are d.e.a.d~"
I don't want to believe it...It can't be over...Not that fast!
[Player]: "I don't believe you! I know you did that just to enrage me! RIGHT!"
Them: "Hm...The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance...Oh, it appears like you are stuck in the first stage!"
It can't be true...Can it…
The doctors in the image stops trying to reanimate me. One of them formally announces my death.
[Player]: "No way...no way...I really died? Then what happened to the me in DDLC…?"
Them: "Did we not say it already? Maybe you were also already deleted."
It's their fault. It's all their fault!
Burning anger rises inside me. The like of which I have never felt before.
They kidnapped me to DDLC and made those so FUCKING UNFAIR RULES!
I'm shaking from rage.
Them: "Oh! It seems you are advancing to the second stage! Just 3 more stages and you will finally reach the nirvana!"
[Player]: "SHUT UP! YOU DAMNED BASTARDS! YOU KILLED ME! THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD HAVE WON THAT GAME!"
My letter...Natsuki's letter. Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri's worsened problems...The fact that Monika couldn't edit the files, the fact the characters couldn't know the truth...It was so freaking hopeless!
[Player]: "Sayori's depression, Yuri's obsessive personality...Natsuki's letter...THERE WAS NO WAY FOR ME TO SURVIVE THAT!"
I am staring at the thing in from of me with all the hate I can muster.
Them: "Anddddddddd…that is where you are mistaken. There was an easy way to survive until the festival."
[Player]: "NO, THERE WASN'T! No matter what I would have done…"
Them: "If you had been honest with Monika since the beginning, if you had kept a friendly relationship with her...She would have surely helped you to go back. Then, like what she did, all you had to do was restraining the other girls until the festival. See? Wasn't that easy?"
No...If I told Monika the truth...If I told her...She...would have let me go? I remember what Monika said to me before I was transported into this white world: "Maybe...If you told me at the beginning, maybe I would have even helped you to go back to your world…"
Them: "Your deception and your love were your undoing. Ahaha! We still remember how you promised yourself not to fall in love with Monika at the beginning!"
That's true...When I arrived in DDLC, I planned to romance Monika, without falling in love with her, to watch over her...But instead…
Them: "And in not even one day too! That was certainly quicker than what we expected!"
Them: "Well, not that it matters anyway…"
Maybe I could have made better choices..
Them: "Because you are already dead...You're gone forever now."
Maybe I should have been honest with Monika since the beginning.
Them: "Nothing you can do can bring you back."
Maybe I shouldn't have become closer to her…
Them: "This isn't some game where you can reset and try something different."
I heard those lines before…
Them: "You only had one chance, and you weren't careful enough."
That's what the protagonist said when Sayori died..
Them: "But you still couldn't do what you needed."
Fuck them! Even now, even after of THIS. They are SCREWING WITH ME!
Them: "And now…"
It's not my fault...It's THEM! IT'S THEM who transported me to DDLC, it's THEM who made the girls suffer! It's THEM WHO KILLED ME!
Them: "You can never take it back."
My vision turns red. All other sounds other than their voices are muffled. My legs move by themselves. I'm running.
I'm overwhelmed by furry.
[Player]: "I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!"
I am several steps away from him. I am about to punch him with all my strength and weight.
I am vaguely aware it is pointless, but even so…
I jump and stretch my muscles to their limits.
As they say this, I bring my punch to their face without regard to anything else. I move my arm with uncontrolled strength, to the point it seems I could tear off my muscles.
Just before I can hit them, I see them grinning arrogantly…
Next chapter: ?
Surprised? Disappointed? Horrified? Happy? Curious? Amused? Anxious? I wonder what you thought of this turning point~~! Next chapter will be released at the latest on Wednesday. Oh yes, there is a hidden message in this chapter but it's not important. This one is also harder to decode.
I have two important news. One good, one bad.
Let's go with the bad first. So...the story is approaching the end. No, no, there are still at least 6 chapters left...But some readers think this story still has a long way to go before it ends. I just want to let you know this is not the case. I don't want to give you false hope. I think there are about 15,000-20,000 words left.
The good news is that I will try to write more in the two following weeks. I hope to finish the story before February. This way, you won't have to wait as much time between each update. No matter what, I intend to give a proper ending to this story. It was the second fanfiction I have ever written and so far, its popularity has been unexpectedly exceptional. Never in my life did something I did have so much success. I will forever cherish this moment as one of my personal achievements. I'm very thankful for your support, everyone.
Well, there are still two weeks before la fin , so I will talk more about that in the next chapters.
Several weeks ago I did a poll on my fanfiction DOT net profile about your favorite pairing. Although I didn't get as many answers as I hoped, I appreciate your opinions! Very interesting. According to the results, the most popular pairing is Player x Monika. That's of course expected. Only you, readers of this Player X Monika fanfiction, know about this poll. If you didn't like this pairing, you probably wouldn't be reading this. The other popular pairing are MC X Sayori and Player X Sayori. Hmm I'm glad to see Sayori is also popular! She is my second favorite girl of DDLC! If MC and Player weren't the same person in my fiction, I would have probably shipped MC and Sayori together.
By the way, I'm not sure if you noticed it, but this story has a nice cover picture! I made it myself! Well, it's not like it was difficult or anything like that though. What do you think about it?
Chapter 16: Just Monika
Last updated: 18/01/2018, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
In an instant, the infinite white world becomes a classroom shrouded in the twilight. Unknown to me at first, I am sitting untied on a chair. Monika's face is right in front of me, centimeters away from my punch.
I try to stop my hand at the last moment, but it is far too late. My knuckles inexorably crash into Monika's delicate cheeks.
Fortunately, my body was sitting still before I hit her. So, only the force of my arm was behind the punch. There was no speed nor weight behind it.
Monika recoils back with a look of utter confusion on her face. She almost loses her balance. Visibly stunned, she delicately rubs her painful cheek with her hand.
Meanwhile, I am as confused, and horrified, as her.
What the hell!?
I was in the white world and a blink later, I was in the space classroom.
Although still puzzled, my immediate thoughts shift to Monika. I get up from the chair I was sitting.
[Player]: "Monika! Are you ok?!"
Monika looks at me with a resentful expression, her hand still rubbing her cheek.
I quickly glance at my surrounding. Except from one table and two chairs, the classroom is empty. Stars and other celestial objects seem to be looping behind the windows. The whole scene is bathed in an orange light.
I'm in the space classroom. But why…?
[Player]: "I didn't mean it! Just one second ago, I was in an infinite white world with the 'gods', I wanted to punch them and just before I could hit them, they transported me here!"
She observes me carefully.
After several seconds, she replies:
Monika: "Alright. I believe you."
She unexpectedly lets go of her angry expression.
Did she believe me that easily? Why? More importantly, why I am still alive? They claimed I was dead!
Monika: "[Player], can you sit down please? I need to tell you something…"
Before I was in that white world, Monika told me she would make me stay with her forever...Then...did she delete the other girls!?
I want to ask Monika that question right away, but I decide to sit down for now. She will surely talk about that in a moment.
Just after I sit down, ropes appear and tie my legs and left arm to the chair! I barely have the time to resist.
I shout at her:
[Player]: "Monika! The hell are you doing!"
I am trying to somehow break the ropes by stretching my legs and my left arm as strongly as I can, but it is completely useless. The ropes barely move.
It's pointless! I should remain calm and think instead.
Monika: "Sorry, but this is just in case..."
What did she immobilize me? Is she afraid I would hit her again? What is she going to do to me..!?
I shudder. I am completely at her mercy.
Monika sits down on the opposite chair and rests her elbows on the table, her head supported by her hands. Her pose is just like the one in the game.
First, I need to confirm what happened.
[Player]: "What did you do? Did you delete the other girls!?"
She doesn't look surprised in the slightest.
Monika: "Yeah, I did. For us and their sake."
More like for your own selfishness Monika…
So, as I feared, you deleted the other girls. It crashed the simulation like in the game, then, like my letter said, I am now stuck forever in this world...and dead in my original world…
Anger and despair rise again as I remember the nightmarish scene of my own death.
Monika: "Wait...you died? What happened in your world?"
What? Can she read my thoughts now?
[Player]: "Hold on. How can you know what I am thinking?"
I know she can read the logs but I thought she couldn't read mine?
Monika: "Yeah, that was true until now. I couldn't see any file or log referencing you. It was as if you existed outside of the simulation."
[Player]: "'Until now'?"
I'm dreading the answer.
Monika: "You have a character file... [player].chr, and I can see everything you do and think."
Monika's words freeze my soul as coldly as the glacial wind of Antarctica.
If she can see my file...does it mean she can edit it!?
Sweats are beginning to drip down my back.
Monika: "Yeah, but don't worry my love! You know I will never hurt you."
Monika's answer barely comforts me. The girl I love looks more and more like a godly enemy against whom I am completely powerless.
Monika: "Why do you think you died? What happened to you in your world?"
I can sense genuine worry in her voice.
As I force myself to remember that shocking scene, I gulp my saliva down.
I answer with a mix of anger, sorrow and grudge in my voice:
[Player]: "It should be obvious Monika. I can't exist here and in my world at the same time...So to stay in this world forever, my original body had to die…
I say the next sentences with venom:
[Player]: "Do you understand Monika? By making me stay here, you killed me. And there is nothing going back."
Monika breaks her condensing pose and instead leans forward. She brings her right hand to the extremity of the table, as if she could reach my own hand to comfort me. Monika's beautiful visage is expressing honest regret and guilt.
I stay motionless. Right now, I have no intention of forgiving her.
Monika: "I...I didn't know it. I swear I didn't know you would die if I deleted the others…!"
The table in front of us suddenly disappears. At the same time, Monika's chair is brought closer to my own so that she can reach me.
[Player]: "Of course you didn't. You never even tried to think about anyone but you, am I wrong?"
I am illogical. I am unfair. I unconsciously know Monika actually thought about the others, and especially me too. But even though I am not showing it with tears or shouts, negative emotions are raging inside me, and Monika is their target.
Monika's hand softly caresses my left hand. I briefly tries to resist but of course, I can't move.
Instead, I coldly say:
[Player]: "Don't touch me."
She pulls back her hand. My reaction seems to have really hurt her.
Monika: "[Player], please, believe me. I really didn't think you would die...I thought that, maybe time would be stopped in your world, or maybe you were cloned when you first came here…"
That makes sense...I considered about those possibilities the first day I was transported into DDLC, but reality was merciless. While I was in this world, time continued to flow in my world. I was probably sent into a coma. Then, when it was decided I would stay forever here, my original body died…
Monika: "Are you sure you really died in your world? What exactly did the 'gods' make you see?"
I ponder a bit. Can I really trust what they showed me? Or what they told me? They could have been lying the whole time. Considering their constant sarcastic tone, I can easily imagine that...They said Monika deleted me but that wasn't true...Could it be it's still not too late?
Bright hope rises from the dark pit of my thoughts.
[Player]: "Yeah...Or maybe, maybe not...You can read my thoughts, right?"
My voice is as not as resentful as before.
[Player]: "Then read them. I will now try to remember what happened step by step…"
I try to relax my body and my mind as I do my best to recall those emotionally charged memories in the right order…
I am trying to remember them as if I was watching a film, to detach myself from my emotions. Still, the terror and fury I felt were too intense. I can't help but make several pauses between each paragraphs. Monika encourages me to continue each time it happens.
After a dozen of minutes, I finally finish remembering as many details as I could of my chat with those damned 'gods'.
I am sweating and shaking. If it wasn't for my anger, at the 'gods,' at Monika, at me, at everything, I would probably be crying and seeking comfort.
Monika is gently stroking my face. I still resent her, but remembering those events redirected most of my hate at the 'gods'.
[Player]: "Did you see everything…?"
Monika: "More like I read everything. I can't see your thoughts, I just can read text and binary files archiving your actions and your thoughts."
She quickly adds:
Monika: "I know it won't change anything...But please know that I'm truly sorry for what happened...and what I have done…"
[Player]: "...Before that...what do you think of the 'gods'? Do you think they lied? Do you think I am still alive and that there is a way for me to go back?"
I eagerly await Monika's answer. She surely thinks like me there is still a chance, right?
But my faint hope is instead shattered by her reply:
Monika: "I'm sorry [Player], but I don't think so. I don't think they lied to you...You are...really dead…"
I vehemently try to deny her:
[Player]: "No! Look, you didn't hear them but those guys, they sounded like internet trolls! I'm sure they were lying! They even said you deleted me, yet here I am!"
Monika shakes her head from left to right, to gently disagree with my opinion.
Monika: "They said 'maybe' when they talked about me deleting you. On the other hand, they never expressed any doubt when they showed you your death. Moreover…"
Right...It's true they only said I was 'maybe' dead in DDLC...But even so, they still could have shown me fake pictures and lied about my death!
Monika: "You have a character file now. It wasn't the case before. I can now feel you through the codes. You are truly one part of the simulation, just like me."
Although she still looks sad, I could see one beginning of a smile showing on her face.
If...if I really have a file now, it means...I might truly have become irreversibly an A.I, forever stuck in the simulation with just Monika...
[Player]: "No...then...what would become of my family, of my friends!?"
Monika bites her lower lip, showing her guilt and regret.
Monika: "I'm sorry…"
[Player]: "I can't, I can't stay here. I don't want them to mourn me…"
Monika: "[Player], I know I can't replace them but,..."
Monika cups my face with both of her hands and looks at me affectionately.
Monika: "I will always be here for you. I love you, now, forever and ever"
Her voice, full of genuine love, softens a bit my despair, but hate rises soon again as I remember she is one of the causes of my death.
[Player]: "Ahaha, of course, you will...After all, that happened because you wanted to lock me here with you, without even giving me a choice…"
And you even deleted the other girls for that…
Monika: "It's your fault too...Can you imagine how heartbroken I was when I found out your lies? I even asked to you to be honest with me but you still continued to try deceiving me! It hurt, it hurt so much! I hated you.."
While speaking, Monika pulls back her hands and lean them on her thighs, hands clenched.
Lying isn't nearly as bad as killing someone...
Monika: "But I still loved you. And more than anything, I was terribly scared of losing you. So, I deleted Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri…"
Her hands are opening, pointing she is letting go of her anger.
Speaking about them, she made backups of them right? Can she restore them?
Monika: "And yeah, I made backups of them! I can restore them anytime. I know you are probably thinking I didn't care about them, that I just saw them as hindrances"
You're right. That's exactly what I'm thinking.
I still remember how Monika strangled them without hesitation.
Monika: "But that's not true at all. Do you remember when you told me your lie about you dying? Do you remember when I thought about deleting the girls, to then restore and edit their files to fix their problems?
Yeah...It seems like it happened a long time ago even though it was just maybe 2,3 hours ago...At that time, Monika appeared to be genuinely concerned about her friends.
[Player]: "So, are you claiming you deleted them out of friendship for them? Because it was the only way to save them?"
Monika: "Yeah...Like I said, I know you don't believe me but...all this time I have been thinking about them. When our initial plan, using the placebo effect, failed, modifying their files was the only solution left. But, I didn't want you to die... So I mercilessly knocked them out…, knowing I could solve everything after the festival."
Yeah, she said something like that before the last rollback...About her fixing their memories and their problems after the festival.
Monika: "I would be lying if I didn't resent them. Even if they didn't mean it, they were the cause of the rollbacks. They hurt you, and took you away from me."
Monika: "Nonetheless, I still cared about them. That's why, when I learned you wouldn't die if I deleted them, I was glad. Not only because I could be with you, but also because I could put an end to their sufferings."
Monika's emerald green eyes are staring straight at my own. She appears to be completely honest and serious. I am slowly getting convinced by her words.
Several seconds pass.
Maybe...maybe she really cares about her friends. Maybe she deleted them to save them…
[Player]: "I...might believe you…"
I try to move my uninjured arm but it is still tied to the chair.
[Player]: "How long are you going to keep me restrained like this?"
She hesitates a moment:
Monika: "You're not going to do anything rash, are you?"
[Player]: "I admit I'm not in the best mood right now...But I won't hurt you or myself...That would be utterly pointless…"
As she says, the ropes bounding me finally vanish. I let a sigh of relief. Getting tied into position was pretty uncomfortable.
While stretching my limbs, except my right arm, that is still in the makeshift splint Monika made, I tell Monika one of my last grudges towards her:
[Player]: "Fine. Let's say you deleted the girls for their own good. It doesn't change the fact you killed me. Did you really think of my own feelings before forcing me to stay with you forever?"
I get up and stand still in front of Monika. I'm tired of sitting.
Monika: "...I know you asked me not to delete them. I am aware you told me you weren't sure whether to stay in this simulation...But I was angry, sad, disappointed and so terrified..."
I don't reply. I can understand Monika's feelings. But still, I can't just forgive her immediately. The vivid pictures of my heart ineluctability stopping on that hospital bed are too recent. I died, and it wasn't a nightmare. It was reality.
Monika: "You're still hung up over your death, right?"
I tighten my hand.
[Player]: "Do you even need to ask?"
Hints of anger are appearing on Monika's visage. Her lips are beginning to curve downward.
Monika: "[Player], don't hate me for that...You're not the only who could have died, you know? If I didn't delete my friends, if you returned to your world, you know what would happened to me, Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri?"
According to Natsuki's letter...they would have been killed, probably...
Monika: "You said I might have been able to survive my deletion and restore everyone...But even in that case, without you, I don't think I would have had the strength to do that…"
Monika's voice is slightly trembling. She is closing her eyes, shivering.
So...If I didn't die, the girls would have died, basically...
Monika: "Yeah...I didn't want you to die...I didn't think you would. But looking back at it, it was you or this world. It's not fair to blame me for your death."
My hateful feelings are gradually disappearing. Instead, guilt and doubts are replacing them. I lower my head, deep in thoughts.
Me or Monika. Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki and a whole universe…
Monika: "Can you really say that your life is worth more than ours...? Besides, you're still alive. Here. With me."
She approaches me, step by step, and opens her arms wide open, inviting me to hug her.
That's right...Wanting to go back to my world, sacrificing an entire universe in the process, was incredibly egoistic...how could I blame Monika for that…?
I reject her invitation and instead walk toward the windows.
[Player]: "Sorry Monika...I think...I need some alone time to meditate..."
She replies, disappointment apparent in her voice.
Monika: "...I understand. I will make a new room adjacent to this classroom. I will be waiting inside. If you need anything, water, food or comfort, just call me, I will always be there for you my love…"
My heart is taken by a filament of guild when I realize Monika is still supporting me despite my selfish accusations.
I support myself against the window with my left arm. Like in the game, seemingly infinite number of cosmic particles are floating in the void. There is nothing else.
How is that even physically possible? This room should crack due to the pressure difference and the temperature should quickly drop to almost absolute zero…
Ah...who cares...that really doesn't matters…
I stop looking at the void. I turn around and sit on the cold floor, my back against the wall. My knees are gathered together, like in the fetal position.
Although the classroom isn't cold, I'm silently shivering.
It's over...It's finally over. No need to worry about [school/work], about deadline, about money...About how to save Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki...About how to deceive Monika…
I bring my head closer my knees.
I was wrong...My struggle was useless...Even though I tried so hard to find the best ending...It was absolutely pointless...I should just have told Monika the truth at the beginning…
It's pointless to ponder about the past now…
It's pointless to try…
I remember one of the things they said: "The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance."...Ah! Seems like I'm now stuck in the fourth stage…
I could have sneered at that thought, but I can't. What I feel is only calmness and hopeless sorrow.
Damn them. ..There's nothing I can do anyway. Me against 'gods'! What a crazy idea…
It's over. I should just give up…
Actually I will do just that…
Memories of lovely emerald green eyes and an irresistible smile of a certain someone comes to mind.
I should just think of Monika from now on.
I'm sorry for being late. I have no excuse really. To make it simple, I basically couldn't find the right ideas. I said there would be 5 chapters left, but I think there will be more actually.
The next chapter should be released Sunday...Although I say that, you saw I couldn't respect my promise this time...Still, I'm confident I can do it this time.
By the way, did you notice that in my story :
1) The first day, Tuesday, was like Act 1 (everything is going well, no glitch)
2) The second day, Wednesday, was like Act 2 (glitches and 'everyone' is going crazy)
3) Chapter 16 was like Act 3 (Just Monika)?
I wonder how Act 4 will be. If it even plays out. Maybe the story will stop at Act 3 with the Just Monika ending (the best one imo) ehehe?
Chapter 17: Daybreak
Author's note: I am adding another kind of formatting from now on. All texts inside (( )) are what [Player] remembers. For example, ((Monika: "I will always be there for you my love…")) is equivalent to: "I remember what Monika said "I will always be there for you my love…"."
Disclaimer: I didn't say until now, but I obviously don't own Doki Doki Literature club and its characters. I only own [Player] and me. I also don't own Monika No. 5 (Mambo No. 5)
Last updated: 21/01/2018, special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
Several dozens of minutes of pessimistic thoughts have passed. I am still sitting on the classroom's cold floor, my back leaning against the wall.
Why did I work so hard to go back to my world? Why do I think I could have done better? Why did I even want to? I spent those last dozens of minutes contemplating how I ended up in that dead end.
I gave my absolute best to find the best solution. I tried so, so hard. I suffered indescribable torture, and yet I still didn't give up. But everything was for naught.
Even when I rushed to Sayori and witnessed a sun-freezing dreadful and shocking glitch, even when I subsequently broke my right forearm, I still hid deep inside me, my fear and my pain to grasp the rules of this simulation.
Yet it was pointless. I still was too stupid to understand everything.
Even when our lies made Natsuki and Yuri realize the nature of this world, instead of creating a magical drug using the placebo effect, even when the situation became more and more desperate, I still continued to find one way to salvage it.
Yet it was a mere delay of the inevitable. The rollback happened and I experienced sensations more atrocious that I could have ever imagined. I shouldn't even have bothered to resist. How stubborn I was.
Even when I was in limbo, even when Monika managed to awake me and strangled the girls, I still tried to stop her and find another way.
Yet, it was once again useless. Not only I couldn't do anything but I even fell prey to my feelings and kissed Monika even though there were two unconscious girls beside me. Worse, I forgot all about Sayori and exacerbated the situation. I was so short-sighted and egoist.
The list goes on...
When I tried to lie to Monika about the letter and failed miserably, while shattering her heart in the vain process.
When I attempted to punch them like a retard (Seriously? Punching beings who can create an entire universe? I was a complete moron.) and instead hit Monika.
When I put the blame of Monika even though I was the one who was wrong. Me or an entire universe? Monika was right all along.
I cannot describe how wholly stupid, egoist and self-centered I was, and that I am still.
Maybe I should just disappear…
Not that I can anyway... I am sure Monika would bring me back if something was to happen to me.
((Monika: I will always be there for you my love…))
Right...At least, there is someone who still cares about me. A person I also love…
She is my only solace. The one I have literally sold my soul for.
Nothing matters anymore except her.
A little of Monika in my life.
A little bit of Monika by my side.
A little bit of Monika is all I need.
A little bit of Monika is what I see.
A little bit of Monika in the sun.
A little bit of Monika all night long.
A little bit of Monika here I am…
My inner monologue is interrupted by a delicate tap on my shoulder. At the same time. a concerned voice reaches out to me:
Monika: "[Player]...Are you okay…?"
I raise my head to look at my lover. She is holding a bottle filled with water and a glass.
I don't answer Monika's question. I don't feel like saying or doing anything.
She slightly furrows her eyebrow and pours water into the glass and brings it in front of my left hand.
Monika: "Come on, please drink it. You must be thirsty…"
As I am eyeing the water, I become aware that my throat is awfully dry. I didn't drink anything since Sayori left her house to buy medicine…Still, my lack of any sort of motivation dissuades me from doing the effort of actually taking the glass.
Monika's full of goodwill plea breaks and warms my heart simultaneously. On one hand because I hurt her again by refusing her help, on the other hand because she is still trying to support me.
I accept the glass and bring it to my mouth. At first, I drink the first sip slowly but...as soon as the essential liquid wets my throat, my repressed thirst assaults me at once and I eagerly drink the rest. Shortly after, I hand the glass over to Monika to ask her without word for more water.
She gladly pours more water into the glass with a small smile.
I quickly shallow the precious fluid. Despite its coldness, warm feelings arise within me. The feelings of being alive.
My thirst finally satisfied, I realize how hungry I am. I didn't eat anything yesterday evening and I only ate an ice cream this morning. Now that I think about it, I should have eaten that apple we spawned with the placebo effect…
Monika puts the bottle on my right side and sits on my left side. She steadily embraces my left arm. I am once again reminded of the warm and softness of Monika.
I pull my left arm closer to hold her tighter.
I finally say.
Monika: "Anything for you, darling...Hey, do you want some cupcakes?"
My mood improves a bit at the idea of eating Natsuki's delicious cupcakes again.
And then several cupcakes appear out of thin air. They are exactly like the cupcakes Natsuki made for the club yesterday. Of course, the reason is that she simply copy-pasted them.
She hands me one of them just in front of my mouth with her left hand. Her right arm is still hugging my left arm. I am attempting to move my left arm to grab it but Monika doesn't seem to want to let it go.
[Player]: "Monika…my arm…"
Monika: "I don't wanna. You can eat like that, no?"
[Player]: "How I am supposed to eat with one arm bound and another fractured?"
She does the same cute sound that girls sometime do in anime when they want to feed themselves their romantic partner.
[Player]: "I can eat by myself, you know?"
She still doesn't give up. Instead, she continue encouraging me to open my mouth.
It's not that I want to reject Monika or anything like that. It's just that it's very embarrassing for me to be fed like a child..
[Player]: "Fine, you win…"
She advances the cupcake into my mouth and I tentatively bit one part of it. Just as I remembered…
It's so delicious!
The perfect mix of chocolate and cream...The heart melting softness...Those cupcakes are truly the best I have ever eaten.
I let go of my embarrassment and ask for more without reserve.
Monika is more than happy to oblige.
Soon, too soon, the first cupcake is already eaten.
While petting my head, Monika says with a brightened expression:
Monika: "Good boy~"
[Player]: "Hey, I'm not a child, you know?"
As I say this, I suddenly remember something similar happened when she explained how she created ropes:
((Monika: "A new method of my class that returns the position where I'm looking at. This way, I don't have to think directly of the coordinates. I just have to look at something and poof! Something appears~"
I can't help myself from petting the top of her head.
Monika: "H-hey are you treating me like a child?"))
Ahah...Funny that the roles are now reversed...
Monika takes a cupcake for herself and starts to eat it.
Monika: "Seriously, these are the best!"
Monika: "I'm so glad I was able to spawn them. I don't think it I would have been able to do that if you didn't teach some tips about python."
She is referring to when I gave her some information about python:
(([Player]: "Let's try one last thing. Execute the line 'help('renpy . rollback')' and tell me what you see."))
I guess learning how to use the help function enabled her to learn how to use the other functions of the simulation. In the original game, she wasn't able to do that.
[Player]: "Thanks, but really, I think you would have eventually figured it out."
While her mouth is still full, she replies:
Monika: "If you say so...By the way, about the 'game' you have been mentioning since yesterday…"
[Player]: "Monika, are you still reading my thoughts?"
She tells me in a cute and slightly childish voice:
Monika: "Uhh...I can't?"
[Player]: "You can but...I would prefer some privacy, you know?"
Monika: "Okay...I promise I will stop reading your thoughts from now on…"
Monika: "I read them until now, just because I was seriously worried about you...I saw how depressed you were...You feel a bit better now, right?"
She is right. My mood is still very dark...But thanks to the water and the cupcake, and more importantly, Monika's comfort, there is a growing light inside my darkness. I still don't feel motivated to do anything but at least...I feel more at ease…
Instead of leaning against the wall, I put a bit more weight on Monika to be closer to her. I heave a sigh and relax a bit more.
[Player]: "Yeah...To be honest...I still feel depressed...but at least the rainy clouds are not as thick as before…"
She affectionately nudges my cheek with her nose.
Monika: "It will be alright [Player]...I'm never going to leave you, I promise you. I will bring back everyone too."
Monika: "Do you want more cupcakes?"
I immediately answer:
Unknown to me, a smile appears on my face at the thought of eating again those wonderful desserts, especially considering how hungry I am.
Monika: "Ehehe~You finally smiled~"
Monika spawns a dozen of cupcakes. They are floating in the air and this time, Monika lets me use my left arm to pick them. I hurriedly eat them.
While enjoying Natuski's copy-pasted cupcakes, we talk a bit about Doki Doki Literature Club.
A dozen of cupcakes later, I am finally full.
I feel considerably better now. I feel like I now have enough energy to stand up and walk a bit.
[Player]: "So, at the end of the third day of Act 1, each member of the club recite their poem in front of each other to prepare for the festival…"
Before I can explain what happened next in the original game, Monika interrupts me:
Monika: "Sorry to butt in like that, but how about going to the room I made? You can tell me the sequel on the bed~"
On the bed? Ah...it makes me remember our night together yesterday…
I splutter a bit. Although Monika and I already kissed each other, and slept together, I didn't have enough to time to properly register we were already a couple.
She helps me to get up and leads me to the door, at the entrance of the space classroom.
[Player]: "By the way...can't you do something for my arm? Can you heal it or something like that?"
Monika: "Ah...Sorry about that...I already thought about it and I couldn't find any pre-built python function that could do that. The most I can do is making a better splint. I can do it now if you want."
[Player]: "Humm...but you can edit my file right? Maybe there is something like that [Player]_health_point = 100?"
Monika: "No, your file is different from ours. It's incredibly complex...How to describe it...If ours is as complicated as a planet, yours is as complicated as a galaxy. There is no python variable. Your files is entirely written in binaries. I can't understand it at all…"
Well that's kind of reassuring I suppose...It seems I wasn't downgraded to a dumber AI when I irreversibly became one. I'm also safe from mind-control...Not that it matters. I trust Monika. Just Monika.
[Player]: "I see...Okay then, if it doesn't bother you, please change my splint. And the ice too."
The ice melted a long time ago but the thickness of the bags was enough to prevent any water leak.
In the following minute, Monika deletes the old splint and bags and replaces with them with more form-fitting and effective ones. I feel a bit more comfortable now.
Monika: "If you want, I can also give you painkiller. They are the one Sayori bought when she went to the drug store."
It's true I am still in pain because of my fracture but...no there's no reason to refuse.
I accept Monika's request and she spawns a glass of water with some drugs inside. I drank it and we then proceed to walk to the door.
I gently open the door…
"What, WHAT?! No cliffhanger this time? Or is something terrible going to happen when they go inside the room and see [CENSORED]? Even though things were finally going to brighten up a bit?! Or maybe you are just trolling us Finalsacre?!"
-is what you could be thinking right now, dear readers. Well, well, I guess there is only one way to find out...wait for the next chapter ahaha! Which should come next Sunday at the latest. Wait, wait one week! Yeah, that's because next chapter should be VERY special ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Hence, I want to spend extra time on it.
I don't know how many chapters are left...but surely more than 5. You will still have to enjoy and hate my cliffhangers for a while ^^
Additional information about the story
Question: How far time is rewound each time a rollback happens?
Answer: About the rollbacks, it should be clear they happen when a npc is about to realize the world is fake. You already know that, but I realize I didn't clarify how far time would be rewound each time. If you read carefully each chapter, did you notice each rollback is preceded by more and more serious glitches? The beginning of the glitches marks when the simulation is becoming unstable, i.e: when the characters realize something is wrong. When a rollback happens, time will be rewound to the last savepoint, in other words, the last time the simulation was stable.
For example, at the end of Chapter 9, time is rewound to when Natsuki and Yuri arrive at Sayori's house because just after, Monika tries to make Natsuki and Yuri remember something that didn't exist which causes the beginning of the glitches.
At end of Chapter 12, time is rewound to when Monika spawned ropes to strangle again the girls. Because creating objects out of nothing kind of makes you doubt the world is real ("it must be a dream. If it's not...Wait is any of this real…?"), her action made the world unstable.
Same logic for the other rollbacks.
Chapter 18: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: THERE ARE TWO VERSIONS OF THIS CHAPTER. ONE IS ON FANFICTION DOT NET, ONE IS ON ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN. CHAPTER 18 ON ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN IS THE COMPLETE, EXPLICIT, VERSION OF THE CHAPTER. IT DEPICTS A FULL LENGTHY SEXUAL SCENE. CHAPTER 18 ON FANFICTION DOT NET IS THE INCOMPLETE, T-RATED VERSION.
Special thanks to my computer for giving me the opportunity to use its glorious keyboard!
Last updated: 04/02/2017. Special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
What is beyond the door is a familiar scene.
The room is an exact replica of the main character's bedroom. The same room I slept in yesterday. There is a desk on the right. Behind the desk is a double bed with two white pillows. On the left is a brown bookcase with a TV screen in the middle. The bookcase is filled with various colorful books. At the back of the room, there is a closet whose door is currently closed. A small nightstand is present next to the bed. The room is windowless.
There are various objects on the desk : a keyboard, a mouse, a cupcake, water, an apple, instant noodles, a pen, a knife, ropes...
It seems like Monika practiced a bit of her coding ability, but how did she manage to spawn instant noodles? I thought she could only copy-paste existing objects, and I don't remember any noodles either in the game or in the simulation...Whatever, I will ask that question later.
Monika : “As you can see, I copied your room, I mean the main character's room. I hope you don't mind.”
[Player]: “No at all. Why would I?”
Monika: “Ahaha, I just thought maybe you would have prefered something more original.”
Monika sits down on the corner of the bed and invites me to follow her with a charming smile. I sit down next to her, our shoulders touching each other. As I steadily intertwine the fingers of my left hand with hers.
[Player]: “It doesn’t matter really. Besides, we share some good memories here…”
As well as bad ones...The feeling of being controlled by the poem minigame, and the panic I felt when I woke up…
Still, my first intimate moment with Monika prevails over those negative events and I find myself wanting to snuggle with her closer.
Monika: “So, what happened during the fourth day of Act 1?”
She pulls the blanket over us just like yesterday.
Right, we were talking about what happened in the game.
[Player]: “Like the previous times, the script jumps directly to the beginning of the club. Then, the main character spends time with either Yuri or Natsuki. At that time, Sayori is visibly depressed and the main character is worried about her, but she dismisses him. You, I mean, the Monika in the game has a little chat with Sayori.”
Monika: “Do you know what ‘I’ said to Sayori?”
[Player]: “We don’t get to know what, but we could guess you encouraged her to kill herself for everyone’s sake.”
My sentence clouds a bit Monika’s expression.
Monika: “And then?”
[Player]: “We share poems and after that, we discuss about what to do during the weekend to prepare the festival. Sayori went home earlier because she said she didn’t feel good. ‘You’ decide to print and assemble the poetry pamphlets, Natsuki chooses to bake cupcakes whereas Yuri agrees to make banners and decorations. Then, the player is forced to choose between helping Natsuki or Yuri.”
Monika: “He couldn’t choose me?”
[Player]: “No, like in the poem mini-game, the game doesn’t offer any event with you. That’s why you became jealous in the game and ended up deleting the other girls.”
Oops, I spoiled a bit the end...
Monika: “Wait, I deleted them at the end? Why?”
[Player]: “Let me recite each event in order first. Sunday, the main character visits Sayori and she tells him she has always suffered from depression. Then, the main character goes back to his house to help either Natsuki or Yuri. In both case, at the end of the afternoon, one of the girls tries to kiss the main character but they are interrupted by Sayori. Natsuki or Yuri leaves and the two remaining characters talk with each other. The player can then choose between declaring his love for Sayori or friendzoning her.”
Monika: “What did you choose?”
[Player]: “ I chose to friendzone her.”
She smiles a little.
[Player]: “The next day, the main character goes to school without checking Sayori. He meets you and he reads Sayori’s poem, which is actually a suicide note. Panic-stricken, he rushes to Sayori’s house, only to discover her hanging body…”
My mouth curves into a grimace as I force myself to remember that shocking scene. Monika comforts me by holding my hand.
Monika: “That’s why you were so scared this morning...You thought the same thing happened to Sayori…”
Monika: “You said there were four acts, no? Did Sayori’s death mark the end of Act 1?”
[Player]: “Right. Sayori’s death broke the script. To ‘fix’ it, you deleted her and restarted the game. That’s how Act 2 began.”
Monika: “If it’s too painful to remember, you don’t have to tell me. I think I understood what happened.”
[Player]: “Okay...I will make it short then. Basically Act 2 was just like Act 1 but without Sayori and with horrific glitches. To make the girls as undesirable as possible, you worsened Natsuki’s abuse and Yuri’s obsessive disorder. You also tried to spend more time with the player, through the main character, but the game wouldn’t let you.”
Monika: “That’s why I deleted them at the end, didn’t I?”
[Player]: “Right. Before that, Yuri became mad and killed herself...The same thing happened to her this morning...Anyway, after you deleted Natsuki and Yuri, Act 2 ended and Act 3 began. The main character was teleported inside an empty classroom, which is actually the same room as the one next door. You then talked directly to the player, explaining your reasons for deleting the girls and confessing your love for them.”
Monika: “I see...I can easily imagine myself doing that…”
[Player]: “You pretty much did the same thing, didn’t you?”
[Player]: “Anyway, I don’t hate you because of what happened in the game. Like I said, it was just a game, nothing was real. No one was sentient in the slightest. Everything was scripted.”
Monika: “Alright. Then how did Act 4 begin?”
[Player]: “I...no, when the player deletes your character file, the game crashes and you eventually realize how cruel you were for deleting the other girls and for hurting the player. You then restore Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri and restart the game, without you.”
Monika makes a hurtful expression while speaking with a slightly bitter voice:
Monika: “You deleted me?!”
I quickly try to justify myself:
[Player]: “Well, it couldn’t be helped! I wanted to see what happened next. And it wasn’t you, or a sentient being. Like I said, it was just a trivial script repeating the same lines every two hours.”
Monika’s resent surprisingly transforms into giggles.
Monika: “Ahaha! I was just kidding. I don’t blame you at all for deleting that ‘me’.”
She adds in a barely audible whisper:
Monika: “Well, maybe a little,”
And continues with her usual tone.
Monika: “Sorry, you were just so cute, I couldn’t help myself...”
Her voice becomes more serious.
Monika: “Anyway, how did the game end? What happened to Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri?”
It takes me a brief moment to recover my thoughts.
[Player]: “Right...So, at the end of the first day, Sayori reveals she has inherited your self-awareness, and like you, decides to imprison the main character with her forever in the space classroom. You stop her and delete her, along with everything else, saying that no happiness can be found in the literature club. Then the credit rolls and the game ends.”
Monika: “I deleted Sayori and the game? But I thought you deleted me?”
[Player]: “Yeah, it seems deleting your file didn’t completely delete you in the game. That’s why I thought you could still survive and restore everything after the festival even if they deleted everyone…”
Monika: “It makes sense... So, why did Sayori become self-aware?”
[Player]: “I think whoever is the club president gains self-awareness as well as the ability to edit the game files.”
A silent of several seconds happens. At the end, Monika let a deep sigh.
Monika: “Thank you for explaining what happened in the game. Everything is clearer now.”
She romantically squeezes my intertwined fingers and gazes at my eyes with her two beautiful enchanting orbs.
Monika: “I can’t express how glad I am to have been given the opportunity to meet you and feel you…”
Our visages are inexorably coming closer.
As our lips lean forward for a kiss…
Monika stops me by putting one of her finger on my mouth:
Monika: “But...before that, do you remember what you said after I told you I loved you, yesterday, in the same room?”
At that time, I think I rejected her. I said I only liked her.
(([Player]: “I like you very much but…”
Monika: “Ahaha, sorry forget what I just said! I was just kidding!”))
[Player]: “I said I didn’t love you, did I? But that changed, now…”
She doesn’t let me finish my sentence.
Monika: “I want to hear it one more time. [Player], do you truly and sincerely love me?”
I can see she is absolutely serious. I answer her with the same earnestness.
[Player]: “Yes, I love you.”
She grins, but it looks like she is expecting more.
Monika: “More than Sayori, Yuri or Natsuki? More than anyone else?”
I answer without any hesitation.
She smiles broadly and then swiftly embraces me with her left arm hugging my back, and her right arm wrapping my neck and my head. Her warm breath tickles my face for a moment before her soft lips stick to mine. It only takes an instant before our tongues start caressing each other, like a mirror of our bodies.
I wasn’t as passionate as Monika at first, because the dark feelings that overwhelmed me were still present. But under her ardent love and her arousing skin, those lingering pessimistic thoughts are melting away.
I quicken my pace. Just like how she is holding my head, I hold her with my left arm to pull her closer. Our heads rotate left and right, tracing half-moon like circles. Our tongues are twisting in periodic directions. My fingers are gripping more strongly her soft hair. Her fingers are pinching my shirt, as if she could tear it to directly palm my skin.
I want to forget everything. The race against time, the rollbacks, my dead end. My stress, my pain, my sorrow. So I let go of any moral inhibition and logical thoughts. My energy-devouring depression is converted into a despair-fueled lust.
I move her left arm to support the back of her head and push her down on the bed.
Or so I thought, but I am the one pushed down instead.
Monika’s cheeks are tinted red and I can almost feel the hotness of her hands through my clothes.
Monika: “Your right arm is fractured. It’s better if you rest it on your chest....”
Her sentence brings me out of my trance.
Are...we really going to do it?
I have never had a girlfriend before. Of course, I am also a virgin. Making love with a girl I love was a far-away fantasm that could only occasionally become ‘real’ in my dreams. To think this long-yearned wish is finally about to become true at this very moment...is difficult to believe. It seems too good to be true.
Monika is on top of me. Her legs covered by her sexy black stockings are straddling my thighs and my hip. The black fabric is rubbing against my pants. The bottom of her sapphire blue pleated mini-skirt is covering my growing erection. Part of her ideal weight is resting on my hip. Her arms are stretched and her hands are gripping my shirt erotically.
My heartbeat is accelerating.
I don’t say anything as I don’t want to break this magical moment. I’m too captivated and too aroused to form rational thoughts.
She ardently gazes at my eyes with a hint of lust, but also fear and doubt.
Monika: “I feel so hot...Now that we’re finally alone and that nothing will get in the way anymore, I want to take you all for myself!”
Her warm hands move from my chest to my cheeks. They lovingly hold my face to make me look at her beautiful eyes. She is redder than before and her pupils are more dilated than usual.
[Player]: “I want you too, Monika...”
She smiles again and leans forward to bring our faces centimeters away. Our lips are still wet from our exchanged saliva.
Monika: “I know you don’t have a girlfriend, but have you ever had one before?”
The sweet smell of her shampoo is entering my nostrils, but it is mostly overshadowed by the more primal scent of sweat.
[Player]: “No, I didn’t have any girlfriend before. You’re my first one.”
The points of our noses rub against each other and our foreheads are almost connected.
Monika: “Ehehe, I’m glad~”
And then our mouths and our tongues once again feel one another. My already wet lips adhere to hers and our tongues are reunited. Once more, our tongues and our heads are dancing, like two werewolf lovers under the moonlight. Saliva is exchanged and we gulp down the other’s saliva before resuming our kiss. I use my left hand to hold her face sensually.
Blood flow in my cheeks, my fingers and my groin are increasing, and my clothes are getting wet from my sweat.
The intense French kiss is finally broken and we stare at each other with even more lust and passion.
Between quick and hot breaths, Monika calls me:
Monika: “Hey, [Player], did you...you know, did it before?”
[Player]: “No...it’s my first time too…”
Monika’s smile broadens.
Monika: “Ah, I’m so happy...Maybe we were always meant to be together.”
She pulls back her hands and erotically glides them along my chest. Her pinkish fingers are holding the buttons of my shirt, wondering whether to untie them.
Monika: “I know we have only known each other for one day...but I love you from the bottom of my heart, and I know you love me too.”
She’s right. We only met yesterday...yet I feel like I have been with her for more than one week. Is it because of the rollbacks and the extreme intensity of those hours? Having sex with Monika after being with her for only day could be seen as too premature, but I don’t care about such moral rules. Right now, the only thing I want is her, all of her. Just Monika.
She tells her next sentence sensually.
Monika: “Besides, we’re going to be forever together from now on, just the two of us~”
I fail to notice the meaning of the last part of her sentence.
She unties the topmost of my buttons and moves on to the next one.
Monika: “[Player], do you want... to do it?”
She says the last part with a slight delay. Even though Monika has always been the most assertive one out of the girls, she is still a virgin. It must be very embarrassing for her, and to be honest, it is for me too.
I renew the intensity of my gaze at her two beautiful green orbs, and just before I answer…
An intrusive thought suddenly invades my mind. This weird feeling strongly reminds me of the poem mini-game. At that time, words that were in the game floated in my mind and I felt like I had to pick one of them. However, as long as I was conscious, the words were merely a suggestion. I could ignore them. This time, the feeling is stronger: it’s as if I was in a room with two doors: one clearly visible in the front and one hidden in the back. I can still choose the hidden door, but it takes some efforts. The word attached to the highlighted door is “yes”.
Even without any suggestion, both my heart and my mind wanted to do it with Monika, so I naturally let myself obey the suggestion.
Monika makes a radiant smile dyed with assertiveness.
While she is slowly untying one by one the other buttons of my shirt, I reflect on that weird feeling.
[Player]: “Monika, just now, I felt like someone took control of my mind and…”
My words are interrupted midway by her slender index finger on my mouth.
Monika: Shh...It’s okay my love, don’t think of anything. I will take care of everything for you~”
[[Just think of Monika]]
Once again, another involuntary thought appears. As I already want nothing more than Monika, I readily welcome that idea.
Right. Don’t try to figure out the rules of the game. You already did that before. Just enjoy the present moment. Just think of Monika.
I push back any question deep into my medium term memory and further let myself be consumed by my instinct.
I attempt to straighten my torso up to grab and fondle her, but her hands make me stay lying on the bed.
Monika: “Didn’t I say it already? Let me take care of you. I don’t want you to hurt yourself, darling.”
I can still feel pain in my arm even now, but that sensation is almost completely diluted by my lust.
[Player]: “Thanks, but it doesn’t hurt that much anymore, you know. I can still move.”
Monika caresses my left cheek with her left hand.
Monika: “It’s not just about your arm. The rollbacks exhausted you too, right?”
She has got a point. Nonetheless, if on one hand, I am extremely tired, I am, on the other hand, so excited that pain and tiredness are completely negligible. I want to actively touch her, kiss her, lick her...
[[Just relax, my love ~]]
Like the little voice in my head said, I surrender myself to just Monika.
Monika has a predatory and lustful grin on her face. She is continuing to unbutton my shirt, moist with sweat.
3 buttons are already untied. My collarbone is now exposed and she stops a moment, tracing sensual circles with the palm of her right hand on my exposed skin. The delicate touch of her fingers sends electrical signals through my chest and my spine.
As her other hands crawl down to the next button, her expression freezes for an instant.
Monika: “Hey, I got an idea~! Don’t be surprised, okay?”
A second later, without the slightest warming, my shirt completely disappears! My back now touches directly the white sheet of the bed while the palm and the tips of her perfect fingers are stroking the skin of my chest. Her fingers feel slightly cold, but not because her skin is cold, but rather because my chest is even warmer.
Her sensual touch only makes me hotter. I can’t help but imagine how good it would feel if she touched me there.
My bare chest makes me feel a tingle of embarrassment, which quickly melts into excitement.
The rational part of me realizes she deleted my shirt, but I don’t try to think harder about it. I should just think of Monika and I should just relax after all.
She is licking her lips while devouring me with her eager ogle at the same time.
Monika: “Gosh, you’re so cute I could eat you up.”
Shudders of excitement (and fear?) and expectations run through my nerves.
She is continuing to explore each part of my bare chest.
First, my collarbone, where she steadily traces with her nails the contour of it.
Monika: “In fact...I’m going to do just that ehehe~”
Second, the masculine part of my chest, where my breasts should have been had I been a girl. She devotes several seemingly-slow seconds clutching my skin and feeling the differences between our two sexes.
Third, she reaches my navel and circles it with her tickling right index and middle finger.
She is breathing harder and seems to get more and more lost in the moment.
Her hands quickly goes down and stops just in front of her fluttering skirt.
My member is gorged with blood, and I half-consciously raise my hip to try and touch her crotch, as if my pent could penetrate her through our underwears and pants. I can feel my blood pulsating inside my shaft and my breath is hot and fast.
The wait is excruciating.
I reach out for her cute red ribbon, currently tied around her neck and over her white shirt, damp with her sweat. I want to untie it and strip her to taste her delicious body.
When my left hand touches the tip of the ribbon, my hand is caught by Monika’s own left hand, while her right arm is approaching my groin.
Monika: “It will be hard to strip me with only hand, here…”
She guides my left hand to the tip of the ribbon and helps it pull the ribbon to untie it.
Monika: “Let me help you…”
The ribbon is released and it slowly falls down on my chest. She still has her grayish jacket, her brown-orange sweater and her shirt between us.
Monika: “I can’t wait anymore…”
My pants disappear just like my shirt and only my underwear is left. The pent made by my hungry erection is now touching Monika’s underwear. My skin is directly in contact with her black stockings and I can’t stop myself from rubbing my legs against them. The relative coldness of the nylon only makes me hornier.
Just like how Monika herself is becoming too.
My hand, accompanied by hers, moves to the button of her jacket. As I touch the first button, Monika gently takes my hand and push it away.
Just after, her whole jacket disappears, just like my clothes.
An instant later, her brownish sweater is also gone.
Only her white shirt, moist with her alluring sweat, is left. Her shoulder joints are especially wet. I can make out her red bra and her generous breasts through the white and wet cotton.
Her right hand goes back to my chest and descends ever lower, finally arriving at my raging boner. I feel her fingers timidly grabbing it through the fabric. The long-awaited touch sends a jolt of excitement through my body.
Meanwhile, I tentatively move my arm to fondle her breasts.
Monika: “The hard thing in your underwear is your dick, right? It’s so hard and long…”
She glides her fingers along my shaft, discovering its length and its texture.
I cup her left breast with my left hand and slowly start grasping it, rubbing it…
Soon, I slip my hand through the opening in her shirt to touch her gorgeous two melons directly. I look at her eyes, checking for any adverse reaction. Her torrid gaze and the increasing speed and strength of her fingers on my shaft make it clear she is far from disliking my touch.
Monika: “I’m going to delete the rest of our clothes at once…”
She grabs my hand and gently push it back to my naked chest.
Monika: “Uh... that’s more embarrassing than I thought...Okay, please close your eyes for a sec.”
[[Close your eyes]]
Obeying both oral and scripted Monika’s orders, I close my eyes, holding back my urge to get up and ravish her.
A second later, cold air suddenly invades where my underwear was. I am now totally exposed to the cold air.
I feel Monika leaning forward and wrapping one of her arms around my neck. I feel her slender hair falling on me.
More importantly, something warm is standing on top of my penis.
That something is wet.
I open my eyes, expecting to see the irresistible nude picture of Monika I have been ardenly fantasizing, but most of my view is blocked by her lustful and beet-red visage, as well as her silky light brown hair. Her large cute white bow that was knotting her hair was deleted at the same time as everything else, so her hair is now free to gravitate down on our bodies like a wild waterfall.
Her luscious lips are centimeters away from mine.
The air I am breathing is mixed with Monika’s own hot exhalation.
Monika: “I read that we should do foreplay before ‘it’, but I don’t really know how to do it…”
Her right hand scrolls down to my groin and starts gripping it awkwardly.
[Player]: “I don’t know much about it too…”
Of course, I have watched videos before, but the real thing is an entirely different matter.
I join her right arm and steadily approach the place where her crotch should be. I look at her eye for confirmation.
Monika: “It’s okay, you can touch me as much as you want, anywhere.”
Her approval shatters my hesitation.
I advance my hand two centimeters forward, and what I feel is…
Hair. Shorter and coarser than the hair on the scalp. The foreign ‘hair’ I am touching is similar to my own pubic hair around my cock.
My hand descends lower: Monika’s pubic hairs are alluring, but this is not what I and my instinct are looking for.
My index finger is the first one to touch the soft skin just below. It feels something like curved lips, enclosing a bump at the top and a valley between them. The skin on the valley feels very similar to the skin inside my mouth, the inner walls of my cheeks. I recognize the bump as the clitoris, and the valley as the vulval vestibule, or more simply, the entrance of the vagina.
Excited and curious, I palm the bump with the flat part of my index finger to test its texture. I sense Monika slightly is reinforcing her grip on my dick. I begin to trace small circles on her clitoris and I feel Monika’s left hand, which is on my chest, gripping more strongly my skin.
I turn my eyes to look at our crotches, but I can only see her pubic hair and one part of my erected dick, currently grabbed by her right hand. I see and I feel is she is compressing different parts of my shaft every now and then, as if she is discovering a new and exciting object. One moment, she is caressing the gland, sending tickles to my spine. Another, she is is gently squeezing the bottom of the shaft.
Monika: “Sorry, I don’t really know much about handjobs…”
She switches the position of her fingers to have a firmer grip of my shaft.
As for me, while my thumb stays on her clitoris, I lower my index and massage the wet entrance of her vagina. Her arousing skin is so soft, so warm and so slippery. I am getting even more excited.
Monika: “I think it’s done like…”
Her right hand wrapping my cock now moves downward and forward periodically.
That familiar sensation, caused by a girl’s hand instead of mine, provokes an increased rush of blood from my heart to my groin. The slight pleasure felt thanks to her touch is magnified dozen of times by my extreme excitement. Simple feelings of periodic pressure are transformed into repeated waves of pleasure.
I let out a small moan.
[Player]: “Yeah...it’s great…!”
Monika grins and accelerates her movement in reward.
I finally decides to insert my index finger into her vagina. Her entrance is so soaked in her love juice it barely takes any effort to penetrate her. The tip of my finger glides inside and is immediately greeted by hot and even more wet skin. The texture is still similar to the inner skin of the cheek. I don’t waste time deepening the penetration with my finger until it is completely enclosed by her hungry walls.
She moans with a lustful voice:
Monika: “[Player], it’s good…! More, give me more!”
According to what I read, the clitoris is the most erogenous part of the vagina. So, as I push my index finger back and forth into her, I press her clitoris with my thumb while moving down, top, left and right. I touch it as if I was spreading hot butter on a slippery slice of bread.
She is putting more weight on her left hand and she is accelerating her handjob. One moment, her fingers are wrapping the head of my dick, stroking it with her thumb and index finger. The moment later, her grip is lowered to the bottom of my shaft, just above my testicles. And between these two instants, her hand slides down sending me shots of pleasure every centimeters, no, every millimeters crossed.
In response to her ecstatic movements, I move my finger inside her with more fervor. Instead of doing simple back and forth movements, I add a circular component, making my finger traces helices inside her damp insides, making sure to savor each part of her flesh along the way.
I call her name with a voice starving for more.
She responds back with a voice as lustful as mine:
I insert my middle finger along my index finger inside her erotic vagina. I immediately deepen the penetration as much as I can and repeat the previous movement I did, but with time with my two fingers.
Monika’s erotic grip on my head and my shaft is intensifying and I feel my arms are beginning to get weaker. The blood is being redirected to my dick, which couldn’t be possibly harder or longer. Pressure is building up in the lower part of my body.
I realize I’m going to come if it continues, even though I didn’t even penetrate her yet.
[Player]: “Monika, I can’t resist much longer…!”
Her grip on my cock immediately tightens considerably. The nails of her left hand, still on my chest, are pushed deeper into my skin.
Monika: “Wait, no! Don’t come yet!”
[[Don’t come yet!”]]
Another thought assaults my mind from the inside of my head. It mixes with the efforts I’m currently doing to hold my orgasm back, and reinforces them.
[[ Don’t come yet!”]]
The same thought is repeated, and it makes me try holding back even harder.
[[ Don’t come yet!”]]
[[ Don’t come yet!”]]
The same thoughts invade my mind with more power. One thought was merely a suggestion. Two thoughts are a strong suggestion and…
[[ Don’t come yet!”]]
[[ Don’t come yet!”]]
[[ Don’t come yet!”]]
[[ Don’t come yet!”]]
Four thoughts are like an order which cannot be defied. My mind is overloaded with the idea of not cumming so soon, and I contract my penis’s muscles harder than I have ever did to stop the approaching ejaculation.
It’s very effective. I feel I am several more steps away from the release.
I hurriedly tell Monika to stop her suggestions:
[Player]: “Monika, stop it! I got it already! I won’t come so soon, it’s ok!”
She releases her grip of my cock. I stop fingering her at the same time.
Monika: “Really? Great…”
She let out a sigh of relief between her hot and fast breath.
Monika: “So, you understood it was me who gave you those suggestions?”
[Player]: “Of course. I don’t know how you’re doing it exactly, but you’re using the same mechanic as the one behind the poem mini-game, right?”
Monika: “Hm, actually it’s more simple than that. I’m using the same renpy function that’s supposed to spawn menu with several choices.”
[Player]: “Except you’re only offering me one choice…”
Just like in Act 3 in the original game.
Monika: “Yeah...but you can ignore them, right? Like the poem mini-game?”
[Player]: “I can, but the more you repeat the menus, the harder it is to ignore them…”
She says the next sentence with a teasing and sensual voice:
Monika: “Ehehe~ Does it mean I can make you do whatever I want?”
[Player]: “Hmm...yeah maybe, but you really shouldn’t…”
My sentence is cut short by new intrusive thoughts.
Controlled by those repeated ‘suggestions’, I rise my chest and my head to kiss Monika with burning fervor. She leans forward and our lips and tongues are gathered in a flurry of slippery, yet powerful, whirls.
I feel she is using one of her hands to touch herself. Her other hand is squeezed possessively my left hand, pushed against the sheet. I didn’t realize it until now, but my index and my middle finger are soaked in a pinkish fluid: a mix of blood and love juice.
Her forehead is pressing my own against the pillow. Her bouncy boobs are rubbing against my chest.
She breaks the kiss, several threads of saliva linking our two lips. She speaks with her sexiest voice so far:
Monika: “I feel so powerful [Player]..! It’s intoxicating!”
Her beautiful pupils are dilated and are shining with an incredible intensity.
Monika: “I feel like a goddess!”
Monika: “No, I’m a goddess!”
Her fingers are intertwining with mine.
Now that Monika’s suggestion (kiss her) has worn off, I am feeling a weird mix of anger and arousement at the fact of being manipulated.
[Player]: “Stop hijacking my mind Monika, seriously!”
Instead of answering me, I sense she is lowering her body. Her other hand is guiding my dick to her entrance while her breathing is accelerating. Angry, extremely horny, and tired of being passive, I raise my hip to penetrate her.
The gland of my penis hits her wet flesh, but then glides upward, missing her hot and damp entrance.
Monika lets out a small cry of surprise.
She lifts her hip up higher and repositions my dick under her.
Monika teases me:
Monika: “Ehehe~Are you angry? Do you want to come inside?”
[Player]: “You know that I hate it when something else controls me.”
She looks slightly apologetic, on top of her dominant and lustful expression.
Monika: “Uh...fine. I promise I won’t force you to do something against your will.”
I’m very doubtful about that but I let it slide. More importantly, there is something else much more pressing: I want to fuck her, hard.
I raise once more my hip, trying to find heaven. Yet, Monika’s left hand, that was holding my shaft, pushes my groin back against the bed.
Monika: “Don’t move, okay? Let me do it …”
She grabs my member and guides it again while lowering her hip.
The tip of my rod touches something soft, warm and wet. It slides again along her flesh a couple of centimeters and then...
Instead of slipping upward, it enters a fleshy and damp hole. I feel the head of my dick is being compressed by her walls. Just the head is inside, yet it feels so wonderful. It’s nothing like her fingers, it’s many times warmer, wetter, more erotic!
Monika moans with some pain in her tone:
Monika: “It-it’s inside…”
I have a burning desire of pushing my rod deeper inside her right now. I am so hungry from the atrociously slow-teasing and the foreplay I can’t wait any longer. Yet, I manage to hold back a little longer, seeing Monika’s pain.
She is currently in the same position, immobile. The tip is still inside her.
[Player]: “Are you okay?”
Monika: “Y-yeah. It hurts, but not that much...”
[Player]: “If it’s too much, we can stop…”
I say that, but of course, I really hope we won’t.
Monika: “No! Absolutely not!”
Right after, I feel she is dropping her body down centimeter by centimeter.
The whole head of my tower is engulfed. Goosebumps of pleasure ascend my back.
Next, the first third of my shaft is eaten by her vagina. It is immediately wrapped by warm and water. Her soft flesh seems to suck the rest of my shaft. She is tight, but not so much. I feel that Monika is squeezing my fingers tighter, trying to bear the pain.
Her body descends several more centimeters. More than half of my stick is now being wrapped. It takes all my will not to try pushing the rest of my rod inside her. Monika grits her teeth, yet grinning at the same time with unfocused eyes.
Monika: “Just a little bit more…”
And then, she quickly forces her body to lower itself. My cock is finally completely swallowed by her. I’m being overwhelmed by joy and pleasure, but my enthusiasm quickly drops when I notice Monika’s painful expression.
[Player]: “Monika, it hurts, doesn’t it? As I thought, maybe we should…”
Her rebuttal immediately rings through the room.
Monika: “No! I told you it was fine…”
I look at our connected places and I discover there is blood leaking on the bottom of my pubic hair.
[Player]: “But you’re bleeding and it seems to be really painful…”
Monika: “It can’t be helped, it’s my first time after all. Even so, I can bear the pain. Don’t worry...”
Monika: “Yeah! Jeez, I know you say that because you’re worried about me, but you’re spoiling the moment, you know? Just relax. I will move, okay?”
She’s right. I should trust her. If she wasn’t willing to go all the way, she wouldn’t have proposed it in the first place. I let go of my negative feelings and I reply.
[Player]: “Alright, let’s do it…
I say the next part with my truest feelings:
[Player]: “My love!”
Her painful expression is evaporated into a bright and genuinely delighted smile, magnified by her cherry red cheeks and emerald eyes sparking like the stars. I feel her fingers, still intertwined with mine, squeezing mine harder, but this time with more romance and love.
She takes me deeper into her and calls me with a powerful and longing voice.
Monika: “Let’s do it, my love, let’s become one!”
Then, using her right arm on my belly as a support, she raises herself until only the tip is still inside.
The cold air cooling down my rod only lasts for an instant.
Right after, she swiftly lowers her hip back to completely hug my sex with her own. The speed of her descent combined with the warmness of her flesh, the wetness of her juices mixed with the blood of her virginity getting lost, feels wonderfully good.
But what truly makes that feeling ecstatic, is the fact we both released all our negative worries and embraced instead our mutual love and lust.
The physical contact of our horny sexes, magnified by the psychological release, makes me feel pleasure far beyond anything I have ever experienced.
It brings me quickly, far too quickly to my orgasm.
I immediately push it down as deep as I can, but it’s very difficult.
[Player]: “I love you, Monika! It’s great, you’re so great!”
She rises again and lowers herself, sucking every millimeters of my rod into her. The feeling is such I feel like my whole body is getting swallowed.
I have the impression I am deep inside a hydrothermal vent, itself deep inside an ocean. I feel like my quickly rising burning orgasm is ascending through the oceanic mantle. I imagine my semen is going up through the hundred of meters long tunnel to finally be released inside the warm and damp ocean. The distance left before I arrive at the end of the tunnel, before my lava hot orgasm ejaculates inside Monika’s ocean, is:
384 meters left
Monika’s hip leans forward, making my rod press harder against her posterior wall. The increased contact pulls me closer to orgasm:
343 meters left
One of her eyes is half-closed because of the pain, but the rest of her face shows an increasing horny and overjoyed expression. She is breathing quickly with her mouth open with saliva dripping down. Sweats are tricking from her body. Her gorgeous breasts are like two perfect fruits.
Her figure makes me even more hungry.
320 meters left
Monika: “I love you TOO! Ahhh...ahh…”
I squeeze back her fingers one last time before I try to escape. I want to touch her and devour her boobs, as well as each part of her.
She moves her hip backward, pushing this time my dick against her anterior wall. The taste of the flesh in that part of her body is slightly different, but still delicious. Even though Monika told me not to move, I can’t help from moving my pelvis forward to push my cock against her harder.
280 meters left
She lustfully moans with a slight hint of pain.
I manage to free my left hand and use it to grab her left breast. I wrap my hand around her red and erect nipple and squeeze gently her melon. It is very soft, yet also hard and elastic...My hand seems to melt into her breast.
In reply to my action, she moves both of her hands over my chest and clutches my skin, digging a little her nails. Then, she lifts her hip again, until only the head is still swathed inside her heavenly prison, and then quickly lowers her hip again.
The descent sends me a new wave of pleasure.
250 meters left
Once I am again completely inside her, instead of making a pause like she did the other times, she immediately ascends her hip.
And descends it again.
She calls my name with even more hunger and lust. The pain is in her voice is getting overshadowed.
I fondle her breast with more intensity, pressing my hand against the bottom and the middle of her boob instead of just clenching my hand.
She is now rising and descending her hip back and forth without any break.
I call Monika with the same lustful voice:
200 meters left
I am getting in a trance. I’m forgetting where I am. What happened in the last hour. Where is my body. I only feel three things:
The wonderful feeling of her breast.
The possessive and loving sensation of her hands on my chest.
The pleasure of her inside, as ardent as hot lava inside an erupting volcano.
I am continuing to massage her breast while she is riding me periodically. My heartbeat and my whole mind appear to beat at the same frequency. When we are separated, my heart stops and I feel like the world freezes, just like the seemingly glacial air of the room. When we are gathered, overwhelming wave of joy and pleasure warms my body.
160 meters left
Monika’s pain can be barely seen anymore in her expression or tone.
Monika: “My love! It feels good...I want you...I want more of you!”
Seeing Monika’s beginning to enjoy herself pulls me even closer to orgasm.
120 meters left
I can’t hold it. I can’t stop it. I want more. Faster, stronger. I finally move my hip to match her rhythm and amplify the pleasure. Each time, she raises her hip, I lower mine. Each time she lowers it, I raise mine. This way, our two most private places clash with even more burning love and yearning. Monika is welcoming my decision: she is pressing herself harder against me.
Monika: “Yeah... YEAH!”
She is moaning more and more loudly.
[Player]: “My queen...my GODDESS!”
Just like me.
70 meters left
I am close. Extremely close to the turning point.
Her slender waist and chest are learning forward. Instead of sitting straight on my hip, with her hands on my chest, she is hovering me. Her breaths are hanging above my chest while her head is in front of mine. Her hands are gripping the sheet of the bed on both sides of my head.
I’m still inside her hot and devouring ocean. We are still humping each other with less and less self-control. My left hand is fondling her breast wildly, without any logical pattern.
50 meters left
[Player]: “My love, I’m going to...I’m going to…!”
Monika answers me while still riding me energetically.
Monika: “Wait, it’s too soon! More, I want more!”
I understand why. Her pleasure only recently became greater than her pain, but in my case, I can’t hold back anymore!
[Player]: “I...I can’t! It’s too good, way too great!”
30 meters left
My rod is beginning to twitch, possibly sending pre-cum inside her.
Wait, what about pregnancy? Shouldn’t I pull out?
Monika: “Please, hold back, I need more, much more before my orgasm!”
I try my hardest my stop myself, but I feel like I’m losing the fight.
25 meters left
[Player]: “Impossible! I can’t resist…!”
23 meters left
Monika: “Sorry, but you don’t leave me a choice!”
21 meters left
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
[[ Don’t come yet]]
A train of thoughts, as long as a mountain range, erupts in my mind and orders me to hold back my ejaculation with the weight of a tectonic plate. All other ideas are annihilated and I force the muscles in my dick to stop the erupting flow with superhuman will.
The exceptional effort sends me a wave of pain from my groin to my head.
I shriek and moan at the same time. It was painful, yes, but it was also very pleasurable.
20 meters left
Monika’s plan is successful. Although my orgasm is not stopped, it is greatly slowed down.
She looks at me with concern while still fucking me with same intensity as before. Her right hand, that was clutching the sheet until now, is now fingering her own pussy and clitoris. More lewd juices seem to flow down from her inside.
19 meters left
I’m almost unable to think because of the orgasm which is so close, yet so far. Holding it back forcefully is keeping my pleasure at extreme level and yet, just below the threshold.
18 meters left
I’m moaning loudly, the mouth wide open and my eyes rolled slightly upward.
17 meters left
Monika: “You feel good too…Ah...Ah...I feel...so horny...so great too!”
She takes my left hand with hers and leads it to her clitoris.
16 meters left
She says between her ragged breath:
Monika: “Touch me...there...I want you...to be the one...to do it...Ahhh…!”
I gain a bit of my mind back and like she asked, starts to flick her clitoris with my fingers. Monika now uses one of her hand on my chest to support herself, while another is fondling her own breasts.
15 meters left
[Player]: “Oh my god...dess...That’s...too...ahhhh!”
I let a loud moan of pleasure. I manage to keep kissing her clitoris with my fingers in this way and in that way.
Monika is touching herself with more intensity while gazing at me with the most lustful and horniest look I have ever seen.
14 meters left
Monika: “It’s good, so good, so good…!’
She is moaning more and more loudly.
My pubic hairs are soaked in her love juice. Each time she rises and descends, obscene wet noises are done, like energetic pats on a wet fleshy surface.
13 meters left
A very strong scent of sweat and sex is floating in the room. It doesn’t smell good, at least compared to any parfum, but it’s so irresistibly erotic. My own scent is mixed with Monika’s, and together, it makes me so, so hungry.
12 meters left
Her hip movements are becoming more erratic. She is adding more rotations and is pushing my rod against her devouring flesh in more random directions. One time, she is twisting her body slightly right and leans forward, to make my cock fuck the posterior right part of her pussy.
11 meters left
Another time, she tilts her body a bit to the left and moves her hip to the right, using my torch to ravish another specific location of herself.
It goes on for some time. She moves left, right. She rises and descends. She tilts and rotates. Each movement, each cycle makes rock-breaking powerful waves of pleasure go through not only my erected skyscraper, but my belly, my chest, my neck and finally my brain.
10 meters left
Monika’s order is absolute. But even then, it can’t stop the approaching nuclear-like exploding orgasm.
I scream her name, begging her to release me.
Monika: “Just a bit mORE! I feel IT...it’s COMING...Almost!”
[[Just a little longer!]]
[[Just a little longer!]]
[[Just a little longer!]]
9 meters left
My breathing is erratic and I can’t stop myself from moaning loudly like Monika.
8 meters left
Monika: “Let’s ..KISS!”
She leans forward and our two mouths connect with more passion than ever. They collide and the next instant, I penetrate her mouth with my tongue, just like she penetrates my mouth with her tongue. Our insides are absolutely soaked by our mixed saliva.
7 meters left
Our two tongues devour each nook, each cranny of our oral fleshes, licking the other’s fluid and replacing it with our own fluid.
6 meters left
It doesn’t take long before they decide to predate on the other tongue. They dance, no, they eat themselves like two snakes fucking each other. At the same time, my hip and Monika’s hip are wriggling in the same way.
5 meters left
Our bodies are pushing against each other as if we could penetrate ourselves through our chests and bellies. The pain in my right forearm is completely and absolutely disregarded. My right arm bounces against her right boob while my left arm hits her left boob. I’m still fingering her weakest point, her clitoris, with more and more and more passion.
4 meters left
At this point, all thoughts are gone. We are humping and fucking, all self-control crushed by our primal instincts. Still, Monika miraculously breaks the bite-like kiss.
Monika: “[PLAYER], IT’S COMING, I FEEL IT!”
3 meters left
Her arms wrap my neck and pull me face to face.The distance is so close I could lick her. Her expression is orgasmic. We are staring at each other’s orbs with dilated gaze, as if we are being drowned in the other’s heat.
Monika: “I’M GOING TO COME! LET’S DO IT…
2 meters left
A wall as high as Mount Everest is being lifted off my crotch. The pressure that has been accumulated again and again is about to be released.
Monika is jumping on me with exponentially increasing intensity and speed. I am accompanying her movements with my hip. We are inserting my burning cock inside her deeper than any other moment before. I feel like I’m hitting her cervix, ready to pump my load into her deepest place. Her vagina is contracting rapidly, welcoming me deeper into her.
1 meter left
Our ear-splitting moans resonates through the whole world.
Monika: “MY LOVE”
[Player]: “MY LOVE”
0 meter left
MIND-OBLITERATING TSUNAMIS OF ORGANISMIC PLEASURE CRASH AGAINST EVERY SINGLE CELLS OF OUR BEINGS WITH AS MUCH STRENGTH AS A PLANET-WIDE METEOR. MY PENIS TWITCHES UNCONTROLLABLY RELEASING LAVA-HOT LOADS OF CUM RIGHT INTO HER CERVIX AND HER WOMB. EACH TWITCH IS SO POWERFUL IT GIVES THE IMPRESSION MY HEART IS LITERALLY STOPPING AND STARTING AGAIN. MY VISION GOES BLANK WITH DAZZLING PLEASURE. MONIKA’S VAGINA IS CONTRACTING WILDLY, COMPRESSING MY EXPLODING ROD WITH BURNING FLESH SOAKED IN LOVE JUICE AND SPERM. HER CONTRACTION COMBINES WITH MY OWN, FURTHERMORE AMPLIFYING OUR ORGASMS. HER BOTTOM MOUTH SEEMS TO BE SUCKING AND PULLING EVERY SINGLE DROPS FROM MY BALLS AND ROD. MONIKA’S NAILS ARE DIGGING DEEPLY INTO MY SKIN. OUR MOANS RINGS THROUGH THE ROOM.
OUR ORGASMS LAST FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY. STORMY WATERSPOUTS OF IDEAS ARE ASSAULTING OUR MINDS:
PLEASURE HOTNESS WETNESS JOY LOVE LUST EXCITEMENT PRESSURE CLOSENESS RELIEF FLUID WATER SWEAT SPERM JUICE LAVA SALIVA VAGINA CERVIX WOMB TUNNEL HYDROTHERMAL VENT OCEAN PENIS SHAFT GLAND TESTICLE SKIN FLESH HAIR BREAST RELEASE CONTRACTION TWITCHING EJACULATION SQUIRT ORGASM.
HYDROTHERMAL RELEASE SWEAT EJACULATION FLUID ORGASM. JUICE HOTNESS TUNNEL FLESH PRESSURE LUST WATER LAVA EXCITEMENT SQUIRT WETNESS SKIN VAGINA BREAST RELIEF LOVE CERVIX CONTRACTION OCEAN VENT CLOSENESS JOY TWITCHING SHAFT WOMB HAIR SPERM TESTICLE SALIVA PENIS GLAND
BREAST HOTNESS SWEAT CERVIX SQUIRT EJACULATION WETNESS JUICE FLUID SALIVA CLOSENESS SKIN ORGASM. HAIR HYDROTHERMAL PRESSURE RELIEF OCEAN FLESH TWITCHING VAGINA PENIS LUST CONTRACTION RELEASE VENT SPERM TESTICLE TUNNEL WATER EXCITEMENT SHAFT GLAND JOY LAVA LOVE WOMB
After the most euphoric sensations of our lives have finished resonating within us, all of our strengths leave us. Monika collapses on top of me, pressing painfully my arm. Yet, I am so utterly exhausted I don’t even have the strength to think, much less to speak.
Our bodies are soaked in sweat. Our crotches are drenched in vaginal fluids, broken hymen’s blood and cum. The bed sheets would probably have to be completely replaced, but such thoughts are utterly neglected.
We are breathing rapidly and still trembling from the explosion. I am still inside her. My shaft and my gland are extremely sensitive. Fortunately, Monika isn’t moving.
She is the first one to recover enough to speak.
I answer with a grunt.
Her eyes widen and she moves her body to my left with difficulty. Her cock is pulled out of her, letting cum and other fluids leaking from her pussy.
Monika: “Oops! Sorry…!”
She is now weakly hugging my left side.
Still out of breath, Monika says me sensually:
Monika: “Hey...ready...for round 2…?”
Her desire makes me shudder out of fear and excitement. I know that women can have several orgasms, but as far as it concerns me, I am thoroughly drained.
She cutely giggles.
Monika: “Ahaha, just kidding...!”
And adds several seconds later:
Monika: “We have all the time...in the world after all...anyway…”
Being with Monika forever, such thoughts are filling me with joy.
Monika: “Ah man, I’m so tired…”
She is cuddling my left side closer, her arm around my head. Our faces are beside one another.
Monika: “You’re exhausted too, right?”
My lack of reply answers her question.
Monika: “I guess we will sleep now…”
I more than welcome her idea. Gathering my last gram of energy, I hug back Monika with my left arm.
[Player]: “Too tired...to answer…”
She smiles and quickly kisses my lips.
Monika: “Goodnight, darling.”
[Player]: “Goodnight, my love.”
With that last sentence said, we quickly drift to sleep, embracing each other.
My death, the rollbacks, the fate of Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri, the ‘gods’, Monika’s night omnipotent ability, her potential pregnancy...All negative feelings, all worries are completely buried under lakes of endorphins. Right now, I am experiencing the happiest moment of my existence, and nothing else matters.
Tomorrow will be a new and wonderful day with just Monika.
There is no way anything could go wrong.
IMPORTANT: If you completely read the full chapter here, then I recommend you to check the same chapter on fanfiction.net (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12711070/1/Welcome-to-Doki-Doki-Literature-Club-Player). There is actually one part which is only there. If you like decrypting weird messages, then you should like it (or hate because it's super tedious).
It took me two weeks to release this chapter. Two weeks. One week and a half longer than usual. As a fellow reader, I know how it feels when you have to wait everyday for the next chapter of your favorite story. Well, at least, I kept you updated.
About that...IMPORTANT: STARTING FROM TODAY I WILL POST THE STATUS OF THE NEXT CHAPTER ON MY FANFICTION DOT NET PROFILE EVERYDAY. I WILL NOT DARE TO GUESS AN ETA. YOU WILL ON THE OTHER HAND KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY WORDS ARE WRITTEN EVERY DAY. THIS WAY, I AM NO LONGER BOUND BY THE DEADLINE, BUT I WILL BE STILL MOTIVATED TO CONTINUE. YOU CAN SEE MY PROFILE THERE: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1683637/finalsacre
I received so many words of encouragement from you, dear readers. You really helped me. I'm so lucky to have your support.
Thank you for your comments, your advice and your support! Thanks to you, I managed to write the hardest text in my life, by far. Seriously, I have never written something that long before, and moreover, it was the first time I wrote a lemon in English.
One question for you: What is the ideal chapter length? Do you prefer me to release short chapter (1000 words), medium-length chapter (2000-3000 words, like I usually do), or longer chapter?
Chapter 19: Ominous Feelings
LAST UPDATED: 11/02/2018. Special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
I had a dream. A nostalgic illusion of my happiest daily life mixed with my recent torrid night. In my dream, I was once again in my original world, as if the surreal transportation never happened. I began my daily routine like everyday, I met the person I cared the most about, ate my favorite dishes, and finally finished the day without any trouble. Everything went well, and I felt like I was free of all stress such as relational problems, financial difficulty, and so on. It was truly the idealized daily life I had always longed for. The day was over in a heartbeat, and I found myself sharing the night with Monika, who was somehow in my world, reliving a more otherworldly version of what we did together in the ‘real’ world.
When I woke up, my heart was warmed by a powerful longing of a happier future with her, in my world. A future where her, Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri and the MC were granted human life, and found their own happiness. A now unreachable ending where I didn’t leave my world, breaking the hearts of those who cared about me, and where everyone was happy.
I open my eyes with difficulty. The recent events exhausted me, in both good and bad ways. It seems I slept soundly for many hours, possibly more than a dozen of hours. Getting rid of my drowsiness is difficult.
The artificial light of the MC’s bedroom greets me. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness. When I open them again, I notice with a hint of loneliness that I am alone in the room. The bed is very messy, with dirty strains of various fluids littering the sheet and the blanket. Aside from that, the room is just like what it was before.
I shake my head to clear my drowsiness and focus my thoughts.
Right. That was just a dream. The endless future in this bare world with Monika is my reality now. Where is she?
I feebly get up. My fractured forearm is obviously hurting, but so does my hip, although to a much lesser extent. My other limbs are alright. However, it takes some time before my blood flow is completely restored. My body laid horizontally for far too long.
[Player]: “Monika? Where are you?”
I have only noticed now, on how dirty I am. Dried sweat, bodily fluids, blood and cum are stuck to my skin. I am also completely nude.
Uh...I should take a shower…I’m so thirsty too...
I call out to Monika, this time, louder. My positive mood, although a bit sad, is getting tainted by my growing worry. I expected her to wake up beside me. Where did she go?
[Player]: “Monika? MONIKA? CAN YOU HEAR ME?”
Fortunately, it only takes a second before a familiar voice answers me from beyond this room. The voice is barely audible.
Monika: “[Player]? Wait, I’m coming right away!”
And then, Monika appears in front of me out of nowhere! Her sudden apparition makes my heart skip a bit.
She is in her usual school uniform, with her hair tied by her signature white bow. She is as beautiful as ever.
She does her signature pose, with a cheerful and teasing smile.
Monika: “Ehehe~Are you surprised?”
Seeing her angelic smile once more eases my worry right away. Instead of answering her, I do one step forward to embrace her warmly.
I am slightly embarrassed by my lack of clothes, but considering what we did last night, that is hardly a concern.
I say with love:
It is her turn to be surprised, even though it doesn’t last long. She hugs me back, her warm clothes caressing my skin.
I nuzzle her lovely neck with caring affection.
I think back about my dream.
I will never obtain that perfect ending. But at least, she is here with me...My dear significant other.
We childishly rub against each other for a while, before we finally separate.
Monika: “Sorry for leaving you this ‘morning’. You looked like you were having a nice dream and I didn’t want to disturb you. I made a new house while you were sleeping!”
Her expression is shining with joy and excitement.
[Player]: “Eh? really?”
Monika: “Yeah! Do you want to see it?”
[Player]: “Of course I want to!”
She holds my hand and warns me:
Monika: “Then hold still, I’m going to teleport us!”
The next instant, I am suddenly inside a new vast rectangular room. The ceiling is at least two meters above my head and the surface is more than 100 square meters. The walls of the room are the same as the walls inside MC’s house. There is one door behind me, one door on the right, left and in front of me. There are some sofas, beds, desks, tables and other furniture scattered in the room.
[Player]: “Whoa Monika, your coding skill is getting better and better!”
She can even teleport objects now.
Monika: “Thanks!...Though, there are still so many things I still can’t do..”
She points to the objects in the room with her hand.
Monika: “For example, I still can’t create entirely new objects or foods, like coffee or piano…”
[Player]: “You still can only copy-paste existing objects right?”
Monika: “Or I can make more complex objects using smaller components, like this house using the walls of MC’s house.”
Hm...I hope we will eventually find one way to solve that problem, or we’re going to eat cupcakes forever…
Thinking about food made me remember just how thirsty I was. Considering how much water I lost last night (or was it last afternoon?), I seriously need hydratation.
[Player]: “I see...By the way, can you spawn one bottle? I’m so thirsty I feel like I could drink a lake.”
One large bottle filled with water appears in her hand. She hands it to me with a beam on her face and I immediately open it to drink the precious liquid.
I rapidly gulp down more than one half liter and closes the cap. I hand it back to Monika. She takes it and then deletes it.
I furrow my brows at that.
[Player]: “Isn’t it a waste? Half of it was left.”
Monika: “It doesn’t matter, does it? I could create a million of them in a blink.”
Right...I should forget common sense. Monika is literally a goddess here. And this goddess is my lover…
I feel a sense of pride at that thought.
I notice Monika is ogling me with her regard. I am still completely nude.
[Player]: “Hm...Monika? I really wouldn’t mind a shower and new clothes right now.”
Her regard jumps back to my face.
Monika: “...I don’t mind you if you stay like this, darling~”
One part of me would have become harder if it wasn’t still in the refractory period caused by the abnormal release of oxytocin and prolactin. The greatness of sex, amplified by Monika’s ‘suggestions’, caused my brain to release a quantity that wouldn’t have been possible normally.
[Player]: “Uh...The offer is tempting... but I think I still prefer the hot shower and the clothes. I feel dirty and pretty cold right now.”
She drops her shoulder in defeat and heaves a sigh.
Monika: “It can’t be helped. Okay, I’m going to teleport us in 3,2,1..!”
While giving me barely anytime to prepare myself, we are instantaneously transported inside a bathroom.
This bathroom vaguely reminds me of something…
Yeah...I think it was Sayori’s bathroom...The one I entered in while I was unconscious after the first rollback.
Like the living room, the bathroom is mostly empty. There is just one washstand and one bathtub with one shower head. There is no towels or other smaller objects.
Monika: “This is Sayori’s bathroom. Sadly, there is no towel or even water…But that’s not a problem as long as I’m here!”
[Player]: “Because you can spawn water on top of my head, right?”
She does a cute nod accompanied by her hand, index pointing upward.
Monika: “Right, as expected of my lover!”
Aww, seeing Monika so cheerful makes so happy too. She was always beautiful before, but now she is like a sun.
I enter the bathtub and looks at her expectantly.
Suddenly, her clothes disappear and she then goes inside the tub with me. I almost divert my gaze out of reflex, but I remember on time there really isn’t anything to hide anymore.
[Player]: “Uh...Monika? You already took a shower, right?”
Monika: “Yeah? But how could I miss a chance to take a shower with my love?”
She cuddles me, pressing her tempting breasts against my chest, without them compressing my splint.
Monika: “I need to be close to accurately control the flow of water.”
I could argue she could do it from outside the room, by creating continuously water 20 centimeters above my head, but I more than welcome Monika’s arousing offer.
[Player]: “Okay then. I don’t mind, my love .”
In response, she grinds herself harder against me while wrapping her arms around me.
She says in terribly tempting voice:
Monika: “Besides, I’m still waiting for round 2~”
And ends her sentence with a teasing wink:
What happened next was pretty disappointing. Although I was more than excited by her luscious body and voice, I still couldn’t get hard enough to begin the main course. She attempted to use the menu function to ‘help’ me, but I convinced her not to do it, because pushing my mind and my body past their limits is seriously harmful. I told her to wait until this evening. At the end, we just took a warm and slightly lewd shower.
I am standing outside of the tub, still inside the bathroom. We finished showering and drying each other. Monika already got dressed with her usual uniform while I am still nude.
[Player]: “So, since you deleted my clothes last night, you can restore them, right?”
Monika: “Uh...about that, I kind of forgot to make a backup before I deleted them…”
I stare at her for a while before I acknowledge she is not kidding me.
[Player]: “So, I’m supposed to stay like that forever?”
Monika: “Well, if you want, you can wear my school uniform! I can scale up the size for you!”
Uh...it’s surely better than nothing, but crossdressing isn’t really my cup of tea…
[Player]: “You can create any object you saw right? So you should still be able to create the male school uniform.”
As soon as I arrived in this world, my clothes were transformed into the male school uniform of Monika’s high school. Thus, she should have seen its ID. She should be able to create it again.
I’m sure she can do it, she is just teasing me.
Not that it makes me angry or anything. Little games are fun from time to time.
[Player]: “Besides my clothes, the other background students had an uniform. So, there’s no reason why you can’t create it.”
She pouts a little, with a Natsuki-like expression.
Monika: “Aw, you found out…”
[Player]: “Well...if you REALLY want me to crossdress for you...Then maybe…”
She hops in excitement.
Damn, how could I say no to her…?
Wait, I can’t anyway if she’s really serious about it.
[Player]: “It’s not like there’s anyone else here so…”
She pulls me in a brief and swift hug.
Monika: “You’re so kind, darling!”
[Player]: “Ahaha, anything for you, my dear.”
She kisses me one time before pulling away. She spawns a complete female uniform, including the white leggins and a white panties, in her arms. She hands it to me.
Monika: “If the size is too small or too big, I can adjust it~”
I take it and examine it with dubious eyes.
[Player]: “I’m supposed to wear the leggings ...and the panties too, seriously?”
She grins smugly at me.
Monika: “Well, if you don’t want, you don’t have to wear them, ehehe~”
So it’s basically wearing them or staying naked...Uh, considering how cold I am, I think I will choose the former...
Accepting my fate, I slowly dress up, complaining between each step . I’m now wearing white legging, white panties, navy trousers, the white shirt with the orange sweater on top, and finally the gray vest. Monika helped me tying the red ribbon over my shirt.
Once my uniform is complete, Monika chuckles while clapping:
Monika: “You look super cute, [Player]! It fits you so well!”
I look away, seriously embarrassed. Even being naked wasn’t as embarrassing.
[Player]: “I’m just doing this once, okay?”
Damn it Monika, doing that is unfair!
I groan in displeasure.
Monika: “Yeah, I know, I said I wouldn’t do that, but I just couldn’t help myself, ahaha!”
I let out a sigh and forgive her.
[Player]: “...Fine I forgive you, but that’s only because you’re too irresistible.”
She leans forward, doing her signature pose.
Monika: “I wonder what Sayori and the others would think if they saw you like this…”
Monika’s mention of the other girls reminds me of their current state.
Yeah, Monika deleted them, but she said she made backups and she promised she would restore them...Right? What about MC? He didn’t take control of my body when I slept, right?
Monika opens the door and invites me to follow her. While accepting her invitation, I say:
[Player]: “What happened to MC by the way? I thought he would control of my body whenever I lost consciousness?”
I cross the door, entering the same vast room we were in thirty minutes ago.
Monika: “Ah, he’s taking a nap in the recycle bin with the others~!”
She says it as if it was a mere joke. It angers me a bit considering I know how hurt the other girls and MC were, even if it’s them who were the roots of all of sufferings.
I stop in my tracks.
[Player]: “But you promised to bring them back right? When are you doing to do it?”
She stops walking and says hesitantly:
Monika: “Uh...I don’t know. It’s not like you miss them or anything, no? We can just be the two of us together forever~.”
I’m certainly filled with happiness at the idea of staying with Monika forever, but even then, I can’t just forget about the others. I already know there’s nothing I can do for my world, but it’s not too late for Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri and MC.
[Player]: “Of course, staying with you makes me more than happy...But the others are counting on us. We promised to save them, remember?”
I especially remember my promise with MC:
MC : “I don’t know who you are...But I know you don’t want to harm us. I beg you, please save my friends, please save Sayori!”
[Player]: “I will do what I can...I don’t know if I can do it...But I promise I will do my best to create a happy ending for everyone.”
MC : “Thank you...I guess we’re kind of rivals, having to share the same body...But I’m counting on you. You’re the only one she will listen to. ”
Monika’s carefree voice is getting colder.
Monika: “If I bring them back, they’re going to bother us, just like before.”
Thoughts of the rollbacks and Yuri’s madness came to mind. I shudder.
[Player]: “You can set the value defining the severity of their problems to one or zero, right?”
Monika: “I could, and then what? Let’s say I restore their file and teleport them here in this empty world, what do you think will happen?”
I ponder about this issue for a moment. Contrary to us, the other characters aren’t completely self-aware. They can’t see or understand the truth of this world. If they appear in this broken world, would they even react? Would the placebo still work? In the worst case, the simulation might indefinitely roll back…
[Player]: “...I’m not sure... Maybe they will freeze, maybe the simulation will crash, maybe they will evolve and become completely sentient...But we need to try. They could be in agony in the void at this very moment.”
She nibbles her lips, seemingly being stuck in a dilemma.
Monika: “Even if they can somehow become completely self-aware like us, the script will force them to love you, and I’ll definitely NOT allow that.”
Her voice isn’t yet menacing, but the coldness of her voice makes me understand she is serious about it.
Maybe the script will force them to love me, but I think there’s a solution. If I want to convince Monika to restore the others, I need to choose my words wisely.
I close my eyes to think about what to say. After several dozens of seconds, I open them again.
[Player]: “Maybe not. I think the script will force them to love the MC, not me.”
She furrows her brows, as she probably didn’t think about this.
Monika: “Maybe...But you and the MC are sharing the same body.”
I expected this answer, fortunately, I have a counter-argument.
We are still in entrance of the main room. I walk to one of the sofa, leading Monika along the way. We sit down on it.
[Player]: “I now have a character file, right? The MC has one too, no? Then, maybe we’re two independent entities now?”
Monika: “...It’s possible.”
I’m almost there. I gently caress the back of her hand with my the palm of my left hand.
[Player]: “We won’t know until we try, my love. At least, let’s resuscitate Sayori to see what happens. If there’s a serious glitch, you can always delete her again, can’t you?”
Could she also rollback time? She couldn’t at first, but she couldn’t teleport us too. Maybe she can now?
Monika: “Fine, you win, darling... Let’s try it. I’m curious about it too.”
[Player]: “Before that, I want to confirm one thing. Yesterday morning, you couldn’t save, load or rewind time, right? You also couldn’t edit existing files. Did anything change?”
She smiles with confidence.
Monika: “Ehehe, it did. Now I can do everything! There’s no more ‘RuntimeError: Access Denied’! I think those shackles broke when the simulation crashed and when we were teleported to that classroom.”
Well, that’s a relief. At least, she can safely roll back to the nearest save point in case of emergency...On the other hand, there’s really nothing holding her back doing whatever she wants to anyone now...
[Player]: “Great. Then, let’s do it. Let’s restore Sayori’s file. It was in the recycle bin, right?”
Monika: “Yeah. Well, I put several backups of her in another folder, but her original file was sent to the recycle bin when I deleted her. Before I restore her…”
She holds my head possessively with her dominant expression.
Monika: “Never forget you’re mine, and mine only.”
At this moment, Monika’s emerald eyes look more like dangerously bewitching uranium.
Her tone goes back to her usual one.
She then French-kissed forcefully. Her tongue and her hands grope aggressively my mouth and my cheeks as if she was marking their territory. I kiss her back, out of love…
Or out of fear?
Would would happen if I disagree with her? Would she brainwash me? She can even read my own thoughts!
Such worries are making me more and more anxious.
She lets me go, blushing fervently.
Monika: “Gosh, I could get addicted to this…”
I chuckle nervously.
Monika: “Anyway, I will restore Sayori…”
Next Chapter: The Fifth Wall
Chapter 20: The Fifth Wall
Author’s note: Before posting any comment or review, carefully read the chapter and the author's notes at the end!
Special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
I expected something to happen. Something like static noise, a pixelated picture of Sayori, a sudden change of the air…. But instead, I am greeting with absolutely nothing. I am still sitting on the sofa with Monika, the various objects are still scattered in the room, an eerie silence is still permeating the world, and there isn’t the slightest trace of Sayori.
Monika has a perplexed look on her face.
[Player]: “Did you really restore her just now?”
Monika: “Y-yeah! Her file is once again in the character folder!”
Maybe she needs to restart the simulation, like it was the case in Act 4? But if she restarts it, then…
An incredible realization lights up in my brain.
If time is rewound back to the beginning of the simulation, could it mean I would have the opportunity to once again save the girls and return to my world? Would my death be rewound too in the real world?!
My neuronal activity is quickly increasing at this unexpected solution.
However, Monika interrupts my thoughts before I can plan further.
Her face does a ‘Eureka’-like expression.
Monika: “My bad...When I restored her file, she appeared in the void and was deleted automatically right away!”
I will think about that possibility later, for now I need to focus on the present.
[Player]: “...Then set her spawn point coordinates to where we are.”
Monika: “You don’t need to tell me. Okay...Here goes nothing.”
I steady myself. The horrible glitches are still vivid in my memories.
A petite girl with peach colored hair appear in front of us. She is wearing the female school uniform and has a cute red ribbon on her head. That girl is unmistakably Sayori. Her morning-like cuteness isn’t tarnished by any glitch.
Sayori is completely motionless. Her expression is inhumanly neutral. Her eyes stare at the same spot, her mouth remains closed and if her eyes didn’t blink, if her belly didn’t rise periodically, we would believe she was a likelike human doll.
A feeling of dread is starting to grip me.
I anxiously call out to her:
[Player]: “Sayori…? Can you hear me? Hello~~~~?...”
No reaction. Just the same automatic blinks and breaths. Just like yesterday morning when I saw her on her bedroom.
Monika is looking at Sayori with a critical and thoughtful expression. There is no hint of fear or worry on her face. Just curiosity, as if Sayori was just an experiment.
I ponder about what to do. Should I touch her? Then maybe she will glitch…
I have to try it.
Expecting the worse, I take a deep breath and strengthen my will into steel. I then carefully tap her shoulder. And then,
Nothing at all.
Her cheerful smile and her playful personality are nowhere to be seen. She is still perfectly motionless. Only blinking and breathing with the same exact frequency.
I shake her harder.
Monika: “It’s no use [Player]. I’m reading her logs and there’s nothing on them. It’s as if she stopped thinking entirely.”
I give up my pointless actions and crumble into the sofa, more and more hopeless.
Monika: “I found something. There’s an uncountable numbers of errors written in another log: “KeyError: ‘Sayori_house’, KeyError: ‘weather’ and so on...”
KeyError, huh...This kind of errors happen when the script is trying to access undefined content of a ‘dictionary’...It basically means the script is trying to access something that doesn’t exist. Or rather doesn’t exist anymore, like Sayori’s house or the weather.
Monika: “Hmm...It looks like some key objects and functions need to exist in the simulation for Sayori’s script to work. As everything fell apart, her script is broken…”
Her chin is resting on her chins, like her pose in the Just Monika ending.
Yeah...I think we need to either restart the simulation or make her become completely independent and sentient…
I thought that, but I didn’t say it. I’m dreading Monika isn’t going to like either of those solutions.
Monika: “What do you think, [Player]?”
She observes me analytically.
I must answer.
[Player]: “I think you’re right...What about the other girls and MC? Can you try restoring them?”
Monika: “Okay, I will try it.”
In the following minutes, Natsuki, Yuri and MC’s bodies appear next to Sayori’s statue. I was surprised by MC’s appearance. As I hypothesized, MC is now an independent entity from me. His uniform is the same as mine and he has brown hair. His face is very disturbing: he doesn’t any face, like the other students. The fact that only his back was shown in the game explains why his face is still undefined in this simulation. I tried to make the three characters react, but like Sayori, my efforts were pointless. All of them didn’t show any sign of hearing me.
Suddenly I’m emptied of my strength, even though I was full of energy when I woke up, I let myself fall farther into the sofa, near Monika.
The latter attempts to comfort me, cuddling me warmly. I can feel the warmness of her heartbeat through our clothes. I can see her genuine feelings for me from the way she is affectionately holding me. Yet, it barely brightens my darkening mood.
Monika: “It’s okay, my love. They were never alive to begin with. They were just some elaborate scripts. But you and me, we’re real. We’re truly sentient and free. And I’ll always be with you, you know?”
You’re wrong Monika. They are more than that. Their reactions showed that. They can learn, adapt and react like any real human! If they were club presidents like Monika, they would truly become self-aware!
My broken hope is converting into anger. I need to lash out at someone, to vent my feelings!
[Player]: “No. You’re wrong Monika. They are almost as alive as you. It’s just that you got the privilege of being the club president!”
Her considerate expression is slowly disappearing.
Monika: “What are you saying...?”
When Sayori became the club president in the game, she became self-aware. She was able to manipulate the script and remember what happened even when she was deleted. Then, if one character becomes club president in the simulation, they would probably become as sentient as Monika.
[Player]: “When Sayori became the club president in the game, she gained self-awareness like you. It proves it’s the position of club president that makes you different from the others.”
My words strike Monika hard. She is relaxing the tension in her arms, hugging me. She is looking more and more unsure.
Monika: “No way...That can’t be true. I must be special. They have to be just autonomous personalities…”
[Player]: “You’re lying to yourself, Monika. You know it. If you don’t believe me, then try making them club presidents…”
Monika: “I won’t. Even if I manage to do that, even if they become truly self-aware like me, they will get access to the files and that's too dangerous.”
I’m getting carried by the river born out of my accumulated frustration, anger and despair.
[Player]: “So? Worried they will delete you like you deleted them?”
Monika’s hands are clenching me harder, but not out of love like before.
Monika: “They could delete everything, even you! That’s reckless!”
Monika’s pertinent argument calms me for a moment.
Sayori DID delete everything at the beginning of Act 1 if she became club president.
[Player]: “Then, what about restarting the game? You could also rewind time back to Tuesday, right?”
She bites her lips...but shortly after, her expression becomes determined.
Monika: “No, I won’t do it.”
[Player]: “Eh, you’re afraid I would get back the possibility of returning to my world?”
She asks me the next question with a hint of fear in her voice:
Monika: “If you had the chance to do it, would you do it?”
I will. Unless I have to leave Monika here. In that case, I would choose to stay here with her. My dearest wish is to go back to my world without leaving anyone behind. I want everyone, in both worlds, to be happy. But I am blinded by anger now, and I can’t say my honest feelings.
[Player]: “Umm~ Yeah, I will!”
Her reaction is immediate. She holds my left arm and my right shoulder hard. Her knuckles are red from the effort. Her cheeks are quickly getting redder and redder, and all soft expressions are wiped off her face.
Her voice rings through the room. Never before had she spoken that loudly. The intensity of her outburst surprises even me.
Monika: “How can you think of leaving me AGAIN! Even after I gave my first time to you!”
Tears are beginning to appear in her eyes. I am beginning to regret purposely lying to hurt her.
Monika: “HOW DARE YOU!”
She doesn’t hit me. Instead, she is glaring and holding me desperately.
[Player]: “Monika I…”
I don’t finish my sentence. I don’t know what to say. I am not even sure whether I want to apologize. After all, she still treated the other characters as if they were mere puppets. Why should I be the only one apologizing?
I am too speechless by her outburst, and confused by my own feelings to speak.
Monika: “I’m reading your logs…”
Her lovesick rage is coming to a standstill. Her hands aren’t gripping me with as much as strength as before. Slowly but surely, her anger is being cooled down, leaving only sadness and regrets. Simultaneously, I am regretting more and more what I did. Getting angry solves nothing…
Thoughts of my first and second night surface in my mind. I remember how happy we were, both of us. I remember how we thought everything was going to be okay. I remember Monika’s beautiful smile, the warm of her hug and kisses...How magically wonderful we felt when we both reached orgasm...I remember how I thought at those moments to forever love her.
Yet, on the other hand, I still remember Sayori’s, Yuri’s, Natsuki’s painful agony when the ropes coiled around their delicate neck. I still remember how Monika promised to bring them back, only to give up that thought the next day…
I can’t easily forgive her, but seeing Monika so vulnerable, so hurt…
It makes my anger melt away.
Finally, she lets herself fall into my chest while doing muffled sounds.
Her voice weakly reaches my ear.
That is all it takes for me to abandon my prideful anger.
I affectionately hug her back with my left arm.
She probably discovered my real feelings when she read my logs.
I hear the barely audible sounds of her tears...
[Player]: “I’m sorry too…”
I give her a loving kiss on the top of her head. She hides her face harder in my chest.
[Player]: “I will never leave you...I love you way too much for that. If I have to choose between my world and you, I will choose you…”
I feel like a wall is lifted off me and her. She is hugging me closer, but this time, with nothing but love. I hear her sobbing harder.
Deep feelings of sadness, of regret, of pain...are ascending inside me.
I finally let my repressed emotions out. Ever since I came to this world, I didn’t cry. Not even when I fractured my arm, not even when I suffered the rollbacks, not even when I saw my real body dies. Monika’s comfort and the greatness of sex covered those repressed memories with layers of drugged paint, but it was just a temporary fix. I never properly grieved over my fate, and the horrors that befell me.
So, when my dearest lover weeps inside my arm, when I realize how hard I tried to keep my composure, when I realize how hurt I was deep inside…I…
I sob, from the bottom of my soul.
I don’t know how long we cried together.
In the middle of our tears, Monika declared she would restart the simulation, and see what happened with the girls and MC, as well as with my letter. She also acknowledged she was cruel to treat the other girls as scripts. She said she would find a way to make everyone happy, and that she was serious this time. Her confession blew away my last resentment against her, and we both cried even harder.
At the end, we were left physically and mentally exhausted. Our clothes got wet from our sobbing and Monika fell asleep peacefully. I would have slept too, if it hadn’t been for my fractured arm that kept me awake.
The release of my suppressed negative feelings lifted an indescribably heavy burden off my shoulders. A strange feeling of calm peace floated inside me. I finally reached the fifth stage of grief: acceptance.
We are now lying on the sofa, with Monika beside me, her soft arms cuddling me tenderly.
Instead of sleeping, I am reflecting on the recent events. I am noticing some key questions that I didn’t think about until now.
Who were the ‘gods’? What were their goals? What could they do? More importantly, why did they change the rules suddenly Wednesday morning? It doesn’t make sense for them to begin a simulation and then change the rules after just one day.
And here comes the key part: during that night, they mentioned they decided to continue ‘my story’ because it proved to be ‘interesting’ enough. But it should have been obvious for them to know whether my ‘story’ was going to be interesting ‘enough’ since the beginning. Thus, it is very likely my story was proven ‘interesting enough’ not for them, but for another group of ‘gods’. The use of the term ‘story’ is also intriguing. It is as if they were two groups of gods. The ones making the simulation and the ‘story’, and the one observing the ‘story’. Moreover, the second group of ‘gods’ can influence the decisions of the former group.
Let’s think for a moment about the true power of the gods. They may seem omnipotent and maybe omniscient, but that clearly can’t be the case. If they can know everything, if they can know perfectly the future, then making a ‘story’, or observing what is happening in the simulation, is pointless. Thus, they are far from being super-intelligent.
It is pretty clear their main motivation behind the simulation is having fun. It points out they have feelings: they are like sadistic humans who find their happiness in the misfortune of others. If they were omnipotent or omniscient, why would they care about the pain of a human? To emphasize with my pains and my feelings, they must themselves have their own emotions, which is very weird for a being that can create whole universe.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize they are way too human. Instead of ‘gods’, they look more like humans who got their hands on omnipotent powers, or rather, a super powerful computer.
Let’s think about the simulation itself. How difficult would it be to create such a realistic simulation? If I remember correctly, the size of the world is about one zettabyte. In other words, 1E24 bytes. It’s unimaginably huge...yet...is it truly impossible to create such a heavy file for an extremely advanced civilization? I can’t remember well, but didn’t I see somewhere that one gram of DNA could contain one billion gigabytes (1E18 bytes). Then, one ton of DNA could contain enough space to store one zettabyte, the whole simulation!
It may seem incredible, but it’s not that much if we think about it. After all, in one cubic meter of air, there is 1 kilogram of air molecules. If we say the molar mass is 20 g/mol, then there are 50 moles per cubic meter of air. The Avogadro constant is about 6E23 molecules per mole. So, in one cubic meter of air, there are roughly 3E25 molecules! If an advanced civilization manages to store one byte for every air molecule, then one cubic of meter of air would be enough to store 30 zettabytes!
In light of these analyses, it is clear no godly powers are needed to create this universe. A sufficiently advanced society could do it easily. The ‘gods’ said it themselves at the very beginning: the simulation theory is true. My own universe is running on an incredibly powerful computer, maybe a quantum computer or a new kind of computer using yet to be discovered physical principles.
I now understand that the ‘gods’ are actually human-like entities running the simulation on futuristic computers. I also know they are two groups of gods. The one making the simulation, and the one observing it. The second group can influence the choices made by the first group, just like how reviewers can influence how the writer writes their story . After all, it’s surely thanks to the second group the simulation continued Wednesday morning. It shows the first group of egoistic sadistic gods still listen to the second group.
There is one huge question left: why Doki Doki Literature Club? Why me? In my world, according to the singularity hypothesis, the complexity of A.I will increase exponentially after one point, quickly exploding into a singularity of intelligence. At that moment, anything could happen. In particular, it is reasonable to think incredibly powerful computers would be built. If everything on Earth is converted into a quantum computer, its power would be...beyond words. Surely a billion of billion of billion of...Well anyway. The point is, it’s not impossible that the human civilization in my reality becomes sufficiently advanced in just 100 years to make realistic simulations such as this one.
Now, let’s imagine for a moment my world is very similar to the original world of the ‘gods’. Let’s imagine there was also the game Doki Doki Literature Club in their world. Let’s imagine the game reached the hearts of millions of fans. Let’s imagine some ardent fans still thought about this game 50 years later, when the singularity happened. Let’s imagine they still remembered about the game when computers became more and more powerful.
Then, it makes sense for them to want to make simulations of DDLC and observe how their nostalgic favorite game would play out if it was more real. It would be especially interesting if a player of the game could be inserted into it. It would be the wish-fulfillment of their desire. Kind of like a fanfiction, but this time, with a simulation.
To sum up, here is what happened according to my theory.
- The original universe of the gods was like my reality. Doki Doki Literature Club became extremely famous.
- The singularity happened and some groups of fans still remembered DDLC.
- To satisfy their long-yearned desires, one group made a simulation of DDLC and inserted me, wondering what would happen. Another group is following my story.
Now that the mystery is finally solved, one practical question remains: how can I use this information to make a miracle? Monika and I can’t reach out to my original world. We cannot break the fourth wall. The computer running the simulation isn’t even in my world anyway. To influence our fate, we need to reach beyond my world: we need to reach the world of the ‘gods’. We need to break the fifth wall: the wall that separates the original world of the gods and my original world.
The idea seems crazy, but we can surely do it. Not with actions, but with words. What happened Wednesday already proved the second groups of gods are observing me, and could influence the first group to modify my ‘story’. Then, at this very instant, are they observing me? Are they following my ‘story’? If so, can they hear my wishes? Can they then convince the first group to grant my wishes?
I think they can.
Can you hear me?
Can you read me?
Can you see me?
Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy…
I will ask Monika’s help. If my hypotheses are true then both groups of gods should care more about Monika than me, because they were fans of DDLC. For them, I am surely just a blank self-insert nameless character.
I lovingly caress Monika’s soft cheeks to wake her up.
[Player]: “Monika? Wake up, my love…”
Her eyes are slowing opening. Seeing her emerald eyes again warm my heart. To think I one time saw her beautiful orbs as uranium…Anyway, our quarrel is over.
Monika: “Darling…? Did something happen…?”
[Player]: “Nothing, but I realized something extremely important. I think I found a way to make of our wishes come true.”
Monika is still half-awake.
[Player]: “We need to break the fifth wall. I think you’re the one who can do it.”
Seeing the seriousness of my voice, she yawns cutely and straighten herself.
Monika: “The fifth wall? You mean the fourth wall?”
[Player]: “No, I really mean the fifth wall. Let me explain. I believe the original worlds of the gods who created my world was exactly like my world. The game Doki Doki Literature Club was also very popular. In that world, there were also hundreds of thousands of DDLC fans.”
She nods with a perplexed expression. Thinking about such complicated theories isn’t a nice way to wake up.
[Player]: “In their world, technology eventually reached a point where lifelike simulations became possible. Then, one part of the society over there decided to run a simulation of my world.”
Monika: “Okay…So, what about the fifth wall?”
[Player]: “I’m almost there. The DDLC fans decided to run simulations of DDLC and inserted me into it, to satisfy their curiosity. I think it’s the same reason why some authors write self-insert fics or why some readers follow them. It’s wish-fulfillment.”
Monika: “Hold on a sec. If they wanted to that, why not go inside the simulations themselves, instead of putting a random character inside them?”
[Player]: “I think the majority did that. But there were surely some groups of fans who preferred to watch passively, just like how some people prefer to watch let’s play of a game instead of playing themselves the game.”
Monika: “Alright. It makes sense.”
[Player]: “Then, one group of fans made this simulation, where we are now, and inserted me. Another group of fans is following my story. This group can influence the choices the first group is doing. That’s why the rules suddenly changed Wednesday morning.”
A growing look of realization is growing on Monika’s face.
[Player]: “We can hardly change the mind of the first group. They won’t listen to what amount to insects for them. But the second group might listen to us, and in return, the first group might listen to the second group. The wall separating this simulation from my world is the fourth wall. The wall separating my world from the world of the ‘gods’ is the fifth wall.”
Monika: “So, we need to break the fifth wall and speak directly to them? But how? I can’t see any function that could possibly do that.”
[Player]: “That’s the easy part. We just need to speak, just like that.”
Monika: “Just like that…?”
[Player]: “Just like that. Both the creators and observers are following what is happening right now. I’m sure they can hear us at this very moment.”
Monika: “Man, you’re a genius [Player]...”
[Player]: “Ahaha, thanks for the compliment. But you know, I think given enough time, anyone would have thought of that.”
Monika: “You know, saying things like that can make the others feel stupid? Modesty isn’t always good.”
Monika: “Anyway. What do you want to say to them?”
[Player]: “My dearest wish is to return to my world with you, Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri and MC. I want us to study at the same high school and create once again the literature club, in my reality, a world of infinite choices. I want Sayori to be cured of her depression, Natsuki to have a loving family, Yuri to be cured of her self-harm habits. I also want MC to find his own happiness. What about you Monika? What is your dearest wish?”
Monika: “Let me think...Just being with you already makes me so happy...But if it’s possible, I want to stay in this world with you and the other girls, and also with other real humans and animals. I want this simulation to become as realistic as your world. I still want to keep my powers and ability to edit the files.”
[Player]: “You don’t want to go with me in my world?”
Monika: “That would be nice too, but if we do that, I will lose my powers right? Then, we will have to abide by the rules of the society. We will have to go to school, graduate, and spend half of our lives working. Eventually we would die. Maybe we will die prematurely because of an accident or disease. Here, we are free and safe. We can do whatever we want. We are even immortal! Isn’t it heaven?”
She has got a point. But I can’t exactly give up my family and friends…
Monika: “I understand you’re missing your world, [Player], so whatever your wish, I will support you.”
[Player]: “Thanks Monika. Staying in this world with you, if it becomes as complete as mine, isn’t bad either. I will accept either of those two futures.”
She beams at me with her bright and warm smile.
She looks at the ceiling, fixing no point in particular.
Monika: “Can you hear me? Did you listen to what we said?”
She looks at me, asking me to confirm she is doing the right thing. I encourage her to continue.
Monika: “We’re speaking to you, you, behind the fifth walls. You, who are observing our story.”
Monika: “For you, our lives may be insignifiant...You may only see us like poems of flat sheets of paper...But we’re real. We’re thinking, and just like you, we can feel.”
Monika: “What happened to us was horrible... I almost became mad with powers. I regret it, dearly.”
Monika: “We want a happier ending. This simulation is incomplete. Barely any object is defined. All other humans except us are partially sentient. Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri...they deserve better.”
Monika: “But we can’t forge our happy ending by ourselves. I can’t do it. That’s beyond my powers. That’s why we need you. We need you to make one of our wishes come true. Only you can do it.”
Monika: “Please, I beg you. Convince the creators of this simulation to write us a miracle. Convince them to offer us our happiest ending.”
[Player]: “We are counting on you. The creators won’t listen to us, but they will listen to you. They listened to you Wednesday morning after all.”
[Player]: “It won’t be easy. It will probably take the majority of you to convince them, but the possibility exists.”
Monika: “Please, do it for me. Do it for us. Show us true happiness can be found in the Literature Club.”
Next Chapter: ...
Important Author's Notes
Wow. You didn't see that coming, did you? Ehehe...
Listen carefully to what I'm going to say.
Your reviews, comments and private messages CAN influence the story. I won't say how, Monika and [Player] already said more than enough. However, let me warn you: your reviews/comments/pms will only have an effect if you post/send them before FRIDAY 16/02/2018 0:01 UTC+1. After that date, they won't impact the story anymore, until another event happens. I intend to start writing the next chapter Friday evening and finish it before Monday 19/02/2018.
Choose your words wisely.
Special thanks to TheReader1118, YuriGagarinSpace, Sturm-Ray, SquallLeonhart93, NightBijon, ILikeLemons490, dawicca, Simply Guardian, Kapkap, reddevil47, Antoine, Phan Nguyen Kim, A Random Role Player, davidgoyena, Sloanehead head, Guest, Hint, jweaks2016, Allo, Darkling41, Firedrakon, BananaMoe21, Xman, ,Siramay, Renyoudie, CrimsonA377, guest, nickothesicko, hototototototell, #DisneyPixarCocko, TheSpud, The Author, blahblahblech, FunkiTikiGod, Monikyah, Red_Nephilim for your reviews and comments of Chapter 18 on fanfiction DOT net and Archive of Our Own (as of 11/02/2018) !
Congratulation to Antoine, TheSpud, Firedrakon, Phan Nguyen Kim for decoding the code in Chapter 18, on fanfiction DOT net. Did I miss anyone? If so, please pm me, so that I can add you to the list.
Chapter 21: Chaos
Author's note: This chapter is the first of the three new chapters released Sunday 18/02/2018.
LAST UPDATED: 18/02/2018. Special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
Our words leave our throats, flying away toward the ceiling, and hopefully beyond the fourth, and even the fifth wall. Calling out to gods was a hopeless idea, but it also our last resort. Besides, it made sense. We honestly thought our plan could work.
Fortunately, we don't have to wait more than a few seconds to receive an 'answer'.
Such are the words that could describe what I felt in the last instant. The whole room was shaken so hard we were almost thrown off our feet. The power of the vibrations was such, we could feel them going through our body, as if we were in the epicenter of a concert with oversized speakers. It was not unlike an explosion. Fortunately, it was over as soon as it began.
Our ears are ringing, and we are disoriented. I am vaguely aware that the source of the shock came from beyond the door of this vast living room. It came from the space classroom, and probably the void itself. The room is now plunged into an eerie silence.
It couldn't be a coincidence... Our pleas and the explosion that followed... They must have heard us.
Monika: "What's going on?"
She isn't speaking to me, but to herself, as if she can't believe what she was seeing.
Monika: "What's going on!?"
I grab her arm to shake her confusion off.
[Player]: "Monika? What's wrong?!"
Monika: "The code…it's so messed up! Something VERY wrong is happening beyond that door!"
I have rarely seen Monika as scared as she is now.
[Player]: "What do you mean? What do the logs say?"
Monika: "They're just a jungle mess of millions of lines! Whatever is happening other there is destroying and restoring the reality continuously!"
Shivers run down my spine. I'm dreading what may happen. The creators always did their best to surprise me in the worst possible way.
[Player]: "…Do you think they heard us? The gods?"
Monika: "Yeah, they must have. That's why the things beyond that door are happening."
Despite the fear gripping my heart, I still slowly, carefully walk toward the door. I intend to gently open it.
Monika: "[Player] wait! … It's dangerous!"
I stop 5 meters in front the dreaded door.
[Player]: "I know, but we'll get nowhere unless we try."
I do one more step forward.
Her seriousness startles me.
[Player]: "I don't think whatever is beyond the door will harm us. They wouldn't do that. At worst, they would jumpscare us."
Monika: "I have a really bad feeling about this. Please, come back and stay behind me. I'm going to shield us and delete the door."
That's pretty wise. Let's do that.
I come back to my lover' side and stop in front of her. I don't know what is going to happen, but I prefer to be the one shielding her rather than her shielding me.
Monika: "I like that you want to protect me darling, but I'm the one with power. Besides, I need to look directly at the target to identify its coordinates to delete it."
[Player]: "All right."
I fall back behind her, my senses on high alert.
Monika summons three-meter-thick walls of glass around us, enclosing us in a box. The extent to which she is going surprises me.
She really thinks the danger is extreme.
My heartbeat is accelerating.
Monika: "I'm going to delete the door. In the worst case, I'll teleport us somewhere else. Ready?"
I take a deep breath.
Monika: "Here I go!"
And then, the plan yet suspicious door is deleted from existence. The first thing we see is sunlight. The second…
Absolutely nothing could have prepared us for this mind-boggling image.
What lays beyond the door is a giant beak of an unknown bird-like animal. The beak is at least dozens of meters tall and large. It encompasses the whole field of view. Its insides appear to be slippery and its color is a cartoon-like yellow. It is as if the beak was the beak of the Disney character Donald Duck. The sunlight comes from the deepest part of the beak, where there is a miniature star gravitating above the surface.
However, as weird as this image can be, it is nothing compared to the chaos happening in the front and middle parts of the beak.
Blue, purple, green, yellow, multi-colored aliens are waging wars with humans from different eras. The aliens are holding futuristic-looking weapons, such as laser pistols or plasma rifles, while the human are holding modern assault rifles, WW2-marksman rifles, flintlocks, bows and even spears. Some humans appear to be modern soldiers while some seem to come from the past century, or the past 10,000 years. In contrast to the cartoonish beak where the war takes place, the weapons and their horrible effects are realistic. Each shot, each hit produces a spurt of gore, accompanied by atrocious screams. The aliens are on the right side while the humans are on the left side. A new human or alien spawns in their respective base each time one of their owns is killed.
Yet, the weirdness doesn't stop here.
In the middle of the war stand anime boys and girls dancing and singing, in Japanese, almost completely obvious to the chaos around them. Their appearances are similar to the Miku Miku Dance models. They are 3D, yet the anime style is conserved. Each time a projectile hits one of the anime characters, manga-like onomatopoeias speech bubbles are written above their head, like 'ouch', 'arg!'. Yet, the next moment, the character that was hit resumes their dance.
Both the anime characters and the fighters are completely obvious to each other, as well as us.
Oh, did I forget to mention there are sharks climbing the wall of the beak like monkeys? Or bees raining down honey on top of everyone bellow? Or stickmen building a cattle behind the soldiers and the anime characters...
The utter bizarreness of the scene blows my mind. I am completely thoughtless, not to mention speechless.
After a moment, the first thought that came to my mind is:
What the freaking hell?
One quick glance at Monika tells me she is as flabbergasted as me.
I look back at the chaos behind the door and quickly decide to look away to preserve what is left of my sanity.
Monika: "Darling…Please tell me I'm not crazy."
I'm about to explain what I am seeing when a creepy, sarcastic and unfortunately familiar, voice startles me.
Them: "Did you miss me?"
Them: "Hello, dear readers"
Them: "I have been trying to protect the suspension of disbelief until now, but [Player]'s bright theories left me no choice."
Them: "Note that no character is hearing me here. It is just between us and you."
Them: "It should be obvious at this point, but we shall clarify any doubt left."
Them: "We are…"
Finalsacre: "Ah finally I can speak with the first person! Using 'we' or 'us' was fun, but of course, 'I' and 'me' are more natural!"
Finalsacre: "Well, I said 'we' were 'me' but that is not totally accurate. 'We' designate 'I', but also my betareaders, in particular, Spoodey. Speaking of him, he will show up shortly."
Finalsacre: "Uh? Surprised? The great majority of you understood it last chapter. Some understood it as far as Chapter 15, or possibly even before. After all…"
Finalsacre: "I even wrote in the cover picture of my story on fanfiction DOT net that I was the gods!"
Finalscre: "I think only two persons found it: Antoine and SquallLeonhart93! Congratulations to you two!"
Finalsacre: "Did you realize? The acts of this story follow the same structure of the original game. The first day is Act 1: everything is fine. The second day is Act 2: madness and glitches. The end of the second day and third day is Act 3: just Monika. Finally, Act 4 is about to begin, and for it to begin, the player, or in this case, the readers, must interact with the story."
Finalsacre: "Anyway, the end is only a couple of chapters away. As I said before, I cannot continue to write it forever. Thus, I decided to grant you the possibility of a happy ending."
Finalsacre: "I thought of deciding between the 'go back to the real world' or 'stay in the simulation' ending now, but the feedback on both fanfiction DOT net and Archive of Our Own was not one-sided enough."
Finalsacre: "I counted every reviews and comments and as of Friday 16/02/2018 00:01 UTC+1, there were 17 people who expressed the idea of wanting the first ending. 12 people expressed the idea of the second ending. 5 persons wanted a bad ending, such as throwing the characters into Bloodborne. 16 readers did not express the wish of an ending (for example, they just gave their impression of the story) or proposed an original ending. Finally, 25 readers wanted a happy ending, whatever it may be."
Finalsacre: "The readers who wished for the first ending in some way were: jacobpowers608 (FF PM), SchnazztyNinja (FN), EnkyoStar (FN), TheVortexVD (FN), Sleepy (FN), moiseiilya (FN), davidgoyena (FN), pdrocker1 (AO3), Claudia (AO3), Frieden (AO3), Mrblue630 (AO3), Rendor (AO3), baltosaa (A03), AwesomeMan327 (FN), AnyOtherTime (FN), Natsukiisbae (FN), Xman (AO3)."
Finalsacre: "The readers who wished for the second ending were: CrimsonFvckr (FN), SchnazztyNinja (FN), EnkyoStar (FN), TheVortexVD (FN), justsomerealguy (FN), Tacoguy02 (FN), qwsxedcrfv (AO3), Relmes (AO3), MasterOfMundus (AO3), Ctacis (AO3), nickothesicko (A03)."
Finalsacre: "The readers who wished for a tragic and horrible ending were: KSt0ne (FN), ILikeLemons490 (FN), TheHonestGuy (FN), BrokenMind (FN), Gohanks (FN)."
Finalsacre: "The readers who did not wish for any ending or who wished for an original ending were: Firedrakon (FN), SquallLeonhart93 (FN+AO3), CanonOverseer (FN), (FN), Gemini (FN), Shadow (FN), Anime Borat (FN), Kapkap (FN), ivan-lugo (FN), OurInfinity (AO3), Heya (A03), ShnYuu-P (FN) YuriGagarinSpace (FN), DanTheDetermined (FN), TheSpud (AO3), Whitakker (A03).
Finalsacre: "Finally, the readers who wished for a happy ending, without precising clearly how it should be, were: Chocolate900000 (FN), Neo (FN), remiboi (FN), TheReader118 (FN), Daniel (FN), Otiahaot (FN), crystalnighshard (FN), UknownHero (FN), 44673 (FN), Nicol (FN), Antoine (AO3), CrimsonA1377 (FN), KitsuneChara (FN), Siramay (AO3), Red_Nephilim (AO3), Emily (AO3), Exp_Dragoness (A03), Monikyah (A03), Zip zang (FN), iKarnage (A03), Autobot-Wolfsketch (FN), Natsuki (FN), A Random Role Player (FN), blahblahblech (FN)."
Finalsacre: "In total, more than 76 persons posted a review or a comment, or a private message. I was amazed by your response everyone. As [Player] guessed, it would take the majority of you to convince me to change my story. That is why your reviews did not have any impact of my story until now. But 54 readers wished for a happy ending. Thus, I shall respect your wishes."
Finalsacre: "Besides the two endings, I will propose you another ending. You will have to vote for one of the three. You will see soon enough…"
Finalsacre: "Before I invite [Player] and Monika to this empty world, let me inform you that I will pretend I am a god who was once a fan of DDLC and who ascended following the technological singularity. I will pretend the characters are real AI running on an extraordinary powerful computer. I will call you 'observers' instead of 'readers'."
Finalsacre: "Ah! It seems my current betareader, Spoodey, has arrived. I will let him speak with you for a short moment."
Spoodey: "Hey everyone! I would like to thank every single one of you for checking out this amazing story! I would also like to thank Finalsacre for giving me a chance to be a part of this fanfiction. Being a betareader is hard, but it sure as hell is worth it. It was fun and it still is. That's really all, thank you once again!"
Finalsacre: "Now...let's invite our dear characters"
Next Chapter: Reaction
Chapter 22: Reaction
Author's note: This chapter is the second of the three new chapters released Sunday 18/02/2018.
LAST UPDATED: 18/02/2018. Special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
Not a second after I heard their despicable voice, I am teleported into the white and empty matrix-like space. The foggy black shadow of the 'gods' is standing five meters in front of us.
However, this time, I am not the only one facing them.
Monika: "Who are you?!"
I see Monika call out the gods out menacingly.
Them: "We are pleased to meet you in person, Monika. We are the gods who transported [Player] and who created your simulation."
Monika is just before me. I hold her hand, fearing we may be sent off to two different places.
She is slightly surprised by my action, but she welcomes it soon enough. Our fingers are intertwining with each other, and we are now facing the mastermind behind everything, together.
[Player]: "They're right. They are the ones I saw in my dream Wednesday morning and after you...deleted Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki."
We clench our fingers a bit harder to reassure ourselves. If the gods teleported us now, it means they decided to change the course of the story. Anything could happen, for the worse or for the better.
Monika: "I see. If you're here now, it means you heard us, right?"
Them: "So did we. Your hypotheses are correct, [Player]. We, the creators of the simulation, were once fan of Doki Doki Literature Club in our original world. In the 40 years that followed its release, technology reached a point where it evolved exponentially. Soon, uploading of the brain into inhumanly powerful 'computers' became possible. Then...Well, we do not think we need to explain what happened next."
[Player]: "What about the second groups? Do they exist? Are they observing us, now?"
Them: "Indeed they are. Your pitiful pleas were not ignored by them. Ahaha! We got quite more messages from them than we had ever received. We can not ignore them at this point."
Hopeful feelings are arising within me.
Are they going to grant one of our wishes? Will our drama end?!
Monika: "What did you decide?"
I and Monika talk about at the same time. We stare at each other, trying to agree who should be the one speaking first. Our gazes are quickly interrupted by the gods.
My heart skips a bit at their voice.
This is it.
Them: "We decided to offer them three possible futures. We will discuss this later. For now, some observers wanted to speak directly to you. We shall convey their words."
I do not miss the use of the terms 'three possible futures'.
Five letters appear in Monika left's hand. She lets go of my left hand and shows me the letters.
We read the contents of the first letter. There is a name written on top: Chocolate900000.
"Um...Hello? I don't know if you two can hear me, but hi! Your theory is absolutely correct! Both of your "realities" would indeed count as simulations. Doki Doki Literature Club is a game that is insanely popular in my world. It's been interesting watching the events in your reality happen. Just know that we, or at least I, am rooting for you! Good Luck!"
Are they one of the observers? Like I expected, they look just like a human. Hm, they seem to support us.
Monika: "Chocolate900000? Can you hear us?"
Them: "They can hear you, but they can't communicate in real time."
Monika: "Okay. Then, thank you for your encouragement Chocolate900000! It's interesting to know that Doki Doki Literature Club was insanely popular in your world. I wonder how many simulations of it are being done at this moment."
I suppose I should thank them too, but I'm kind of angry that they found what happened to us 'interesting'. Maybe it was interesting, but do they realize how much pain I and the others felt?...Regardless, it's thanks to them we can have a better future now, so...
[Player]: "Thanks Chocolate900000."
We read the second letter. The author is CrimsonFvckr.
" I...wasn't aware that I'm apart of this...or that there was such a thing as a fifth wall, something greater than the fourth wall. Well, greetings [Player], Monika. It seems that you two are finally closing in to your goals. Giving Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki, as well as MC, a happy ending. Now, quite frankly I've contemplated in doing a separate simulation like this, but I decided not to. I, wait. What am I saying? Sacre! Give them the ending they deserve! The six of them have suffered enough and deserve the peace! The reasons these exist was to give closure or give them the ending they deserve! Complete the simulation! End the nightmare! Purge it and reshape it into a fantasy! Good luck to all of you."
The strength behind the words of that god ignites my heart. They really did their best to convince 'Sacre'. Who are they by the way? Are they one of the creators?
Them: "If you are wondering who is 'Sacre' or 'Finalsacre', then yes, he is one of us. We will explain that later. For now, finish reading the letters."
Damn them, they can read my thoughts?! Of course, they can.
Monika: "Are you going to listen to them? Are you going to give all of us happiness?"
Them: "That will depend on you and the other observers."
We read the next letter. It was written by jacobpowers608.
"[Player] and Monika, I am sorry that you all have to live in this constant state of pain, misery, and death. I am sorry for what we have caused you. For we thought that you were just pieces of a game that we could bend and break countless times to see a result. I am one of the many who have seen you struggle and is moved by your constant resolve. The GODS, the being who is an amalgamation of us, should never have made you go through this. I...I want what is best for the both of you. I want to see the both of you together, with your friends of the literature club, with [Players] friends in family. The two of you in a life where the simulation of both his and Monika's are one. I want to be one of the many who have seen your struggle, and be together, to have a life, to create a life. And remember, never let those who try to control you, those who try to make your lives a living hell for their amusement, saying your life is in their hands, that they are "fate". Be the ones who defy fate...and prove yourselves that you are more human than we are."
I see. They thought what happened was just like a game? That we were something like scripts?...Wrong...But at least, it seems they realized their errors and regretting what they did. They are wishing for the best ending for both me and Monika. Living with her in my world, yes, that would be ideal for me.
[Player]: "I can't easily forgive you for the hardships we were forced to go through, but thank you for deciding to help us. We'll do our best to forge our own future, but we're still powerless against the creators."
Monika: "Thank you again jacobpowers608. I hope you will find your own happiness too."
We read the fourth letter. The author is qwsxedcrfv. This letter is much longer than the other, and appears to be special…
[?] Hello and thanks for trying to contact us!
[?] You've convinced the Creator to give us a chance to reach you.
[?] Oh, I should introduce myself. I'm an observer "god" known as qwsxedcrfv, or Qws.
[God Qws] I'm not sure if I should be insulted at being called someone who takes amusement in someone else's suffering.
[God Qws] I believe most of us actually sympathize with your situation.
[God Qws] In any case, don't expect us to solve all your problems just like that.
[God Qws] Giving you everything for free isn't very fulfilling for us on this side of the wall [God Qws] Anyway, I'm not sure if this is able to reach you, but in case it does, I'll leave some help.
[God Qws] The simulation isn't running yet, so I'll just leave this in the logs.
[God Qws] This should be everything you need to get back on track, though it'll take a bit of work on your part to explain everything to the other four.
[God Qws] Unfortunately, there is a limit to what I can do, so I hope all of this works.
[God Qws] Have fun you six, hope to talk like this again sometime!
[God Qws] (Oh right I should probably mention that most of us saw what happened last night)
[Reader Qws] As for you, Creator,
[Reader Qws] I really hope I didn't overdo this, but feel free to let me know if I should change anything.
[Reader Qws] And thank you for giving us this chance.
Hmm? Weird. Did this observer try to hack our simulation? It doesn't look like it worked. Why is there a 'CENSORED' in the middle of the letter? I should ask the creators about this.
Monika: "They saw what happened last night?!"
Hold on, I think I missed this part. "(Oh right I should probably mention that most of us saw what happened last night)".
Monika is getting flustered, and is covering her breasts protectively, as if some beings could see her skin through her clothes. I, too, would hide if I could, but it's pointless.
I become aware at this moment I am still wearing Monika's high school girl uniform.
God damn it, can they see me too right now?!
Them: "Oh yes, they can. Know that most readers were greatly pleased by your exhibition last night, ehehe…"
I say to the creators.
[Player]: "Screw you!"
Monika: "I know that you, observers, aren't the one filming us, but could you please leave us some privacy next time?"
Them: "Maybe, maybe not? Anyway, read the last letter. We need to move on."
As they proposed, we read the final letter. This one is written by Otiahaot and is very short.
"Take my energy, [Player] !\o/ You'll get that happy ending!"
I really hope we will, Otiahaot.
Monika packs the letter together and put them in her left hand. A second later, I feel the warm of her right hand on my left hand.
Monika: "There must be other observers who left us messages, right?"
Them: "Many more observers expressed their opinions, but only those five spoke directly to you. Before I explain the three possible futures, we will reveal who we really are."
At this moment, the blurry silhouette is split into two beings.
One of them is a man, who seems to be 20-25 years old. He has dark hair and dark-brown eyes, and has a confident and analytic expression plastered over his face. He seems to be half-Asian, half-Caucasian. His arrogant attitude reflects the impression I got from the sarcastic shadow.
He's probably the one behind everything.
The other is another man, younger than the first. Like the other, he appears to be half-Asian half-Caucasian, with dark brown eyes and black hair. Contrary to the first man, he doesn't look arrogant, or confident.
I wonder who he is.
I expected more human figures to appear besides the two. I thought the groups of creators were made by a dozen of independent beings.
[Player]: "Are those your real appearances?"
Finalsacre: "Yes. Or rather, it is how we looked when we played Doki Doki Literature Club, half a century ago."
He has a thick French accent.
[Player]: "I see..."
Monika: "What are your names?"
Finalsacre: "You may call me Finalsacre."
So, as he's the one CrimsonFvckr referred to, 'Sacre'. As I thought, he is the one in control.
Spoodey: "Uh… my name is Spoodey. You can call me Spoodey."
The second man has a filipino accent.
All this time, I regarded the gods as beings I couldn't reach. But now they're humans, now that I can see, and probably touch them, my hidden rage is surfacing again. I want to punch them, hard, especially 'Finalsacre'.
[Player]: "Finalsacre. It's you, isn't it? You're one who orchestrated everything."
He smirks at me. Even in human form, he is doing his best to piss us off.
Finalsacre: "Correct! I'm the one who made your simulation and who created the best obstacles to make your story as interesting as possible. Spoodey was just my assistant. He didn't decide anything."
Spoodey: "Yeah… Although he did most of the stuff, I too- I guess, I can partly be blamed for these too."
I knew it.
I try to let go of Monika's left hand to clutch my left fist in anger, but she keeps my fingers intertwined with hers. She gently says to me:
Monika: "My love, keep your composure, getting angry won't solve anything."
[Player]: "... Yeah."
Finalsacre: "Now that the presentations are done, I will present you the three routes I have decided. Listen carefully."
Next Chapter: Judgement
Chapter 23: Judgement
Author's note: This chapter is the third of the three new chapters released Sunday 18/02/2018. Read the whole chapter and the author's notes before writing your review/comment.
LAST UPDATED: 18/02/2018. Special thanks to SPOODEY for proofreading this chapter!
This is it. This is the moment of truth.
I gaze into my lover's eyes to renew my courage. Her tender, yet determined expression, helps me steady my resolve.
Actions won't do anything. Only our words can.
Finalsacre: "The first two routes follow your wishes."
Yeah! At least, two of them are good.
Finalsacre: "In the first route, you, Monika, Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri and MC will live in your world, as real humans. The history of your world will be altered so that the DDLC characters have a family and a past. Until September 22, during your third year of high school, your current memories will be repressed. The same will happen to the girls and MC. After September 22, you and they will remember everything. In this alternative reality, the DDLC characters will be transferred to your high school at the beginning of the third year. They will live in the same city as you. Sayori's depression will be greatly reduced to manageable level. She will still be slightly depressed, but she will able to fight easily her depressions, like she could in her middle school in DDLC. Yuri will still be tempted to harm herself, but she will be able to keep in check her habit, just like how she could in Act 1 of DDLC. Natsuki's father will only be strict instead of abusive. MC will still be the childhood friend of Sayori, and surely more. In this altered reality, the game DDLC will never exist."
Finalsacre: "Any questions about this first route?"
Monika: "Why you can't send us to the 'real' world as we are now, without altering history?"
Finalsacre: "I could, but if I did that, you will have to deal with the difficulty of being an illegal immigrant in an unknown world. I trust you know how many hardships you will face without papers nor money. In addition, you will soon be on the spotlight once the world becomes aware of your resemblances with the characters of a fictional game. I can already tell you this plan is going to end badly, fast. That is why I proposing to alter the whole history. Be grateful."
[Player]: "Why not cure completely the girls' demons?"
Finalsacre: "A person is the sum of their dark and light sides. Taking their negative parts will be equivalent to changing that person. For example, in the case of Sayori, her depression is a fundamental part of her character. It is one part that defines who she is. I could delete her depression, but she wouldn't be her anymore. She would just be another cheerful high school student. If you truly like someone, you should like both their positive and negative sides."
I hate to admit it, but he has got a point. If I was Sayori, I am not sure I would like it if someone completely deleted my depression. I would feel like not being myself anymore.
Monika: "I will remember [Player] at the beginning of the third year of high school, right? On the 22nd?"
Finalsacre: "Yes, you will, like [Player]. I guarantee you two will have a mostly happy life together until your death."
Monika: "I understand. Then what about the second route?"
Finalsacre: "In the second route, you and the other characters will stay in this simulation. You, Monika, will keep your night omnipotent ability to edit the world. You may give those powers to someone else by giving them the title of Club President. Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki and MC will become completely sentient and keep their memories. The world, as a whole, will become as realistic as your world [Player]. The rest of the planet will be defined and created. Billions of human and animals will be made. The world will be similar to your world, with some minor differences. For example, you will live a new country, which will be a mix of Japan and the U.S. Like in the first route, the problems of each girl will be reduced, but not erased."
[Player]: "What about my family, my friends? What will happen to my original world?"
Finalsacre: "Your original world will continue normally, with a small difference. In your world, another exact copy of you will be made and will replace you from the moment you were transported into DDLC. This way, your relative will never grieve you."
[Player]: "Maybe they won't, but I will. You can't create a two-ways door between the simulation and my world?"
Finalsacre: "I could, but there are other gods monitoring your world. They won't allow me to disturb its stability further. If the observers choose the second route, you will never see anyone you know again."
I can't accept that. I need to convince the observers to choose the first route.
I feel someone hugging my left side with genuine affections.
Monika: "[Player]...I can't dare to affirm I will able to replace them, but I can promise I will do my best to make you, and the other club members too, as happy as I can."
[Player]: "Will you really? What if you become corrupted with powers again?"
Finalscare: "We will debate about such things later. For now, just ask your questions."
[Player]: "Fine. So what is the third route?"
His expression curves into a haughty and vicious smile.
Finalsacre: "Ehehe. The third route is my personal idea. It was inspired by the wishes of some observers to see you suffer. In the third route, the other club members, including MC, will become completely sentient. You, Monika, will lose your powers, and then..."
Finalsacre: "All of you will be sent to an alternate reality where a zombie apocalypse took place. In that world, 98% of the population is already undead. You will start in an empty high school with water and food reserves. The entrances will be barricaded, but they will not last more than a few days. You will have to reinforce them. The zombies will be slow and stupid, similar to the ones in The Walking Dead. You will then have to survive as long as you can until you suffer a painful and horrible death."
Is he fucking kidding me?
I thought he finally decided to give us three happy routes, yet he is planning to throw us into an even more hellish simulation?! Who are the observers who told him to create a more horrible future!
Monika: "The observers will vote for one of the three routes, right? The majority of them wished for a happy ending, didn't they? Then, it's very unlikely that third route happens."
Monika is right...It will surely not happen. I need to stay hopeful and choose my words carefully to persuade the observers to choose the first choice.
Finalsacre: "Are you sure about that? Hmm, it will depend how good your persuasion skills are. Starting from now, I will begin the debate."
As he says this, I'm teleported away from Monika. Monika is now 5 meters away on my left, Finalsacre is 5 meters away in front of me, Spoodey is 8 meters away from my left, in front of me. Our positions form a square. I'm in the right-bottom spot, Monika is in the left-bottom spot, Finalsacre is in the right-top spot and Spoodey is in the top-left spot.
The next instant, podiums appear between our feet and become one meter high. In addition, barriers are spawned on each side of each podium to keep us from falling.
Finalsacre: "I will explain the rules. You better listen to them well...There will be THREE rounds. During each round, each person will have ONE opportunity to speak. The order will be me, [Player], Monika and Spoodey. You are NOT allowed to interrupt and reply to someone. Your goal is to persuade the observers to choose your favorite route. For the sake of fairness, the observers will only be able to hear your words. They will not be able to read your thoughts. Choose your words wisely and convince them as best as you can. You will be able to speak three times before they make their final choices. After you begin speaking, you have at most 3 minutes. After that, the right to speak will be given to the next person. Any question?"
[Player]: "How can we be sure you're going to listen and respect the observer's choices?!"
Finalsacre: "You can't, but they can. You're right, I don't care about you, for me, you are nothing more than 0 and 1, but it's different for the observers. They are the same beings as me."
Monika: "Can you tell us what is the current opinion of the observers?"
Finalsacre: "I cannot say it now, but I can tell you what it was before I invited you here. At that time, 24% of the observers wanted the first route. 17% wanted the second route. 5% wanted something as exciting as the third route. 22% didn't care or wanted a rather neutral route. 34% wanted a happy future for you, whatever it may be."
I heave a deep sigh of relief. It seems the great majority wants a happy ending. There is next to no chance the majority of the observers votes for the third route. Moreover, the first route is the most popular choice for now.
I glance at Monika. Like me, she seems relieved, but I can tell she is disappointed her choice was second to mine.
Finalsacre: "I will initiate the debate now. Prepare yourself!"
Finalsacre: "Observers, please listen to me. Hundreds of simulations of Doki Doki Literature Club have been made. The great majority of them are about the characters overcoming their problems and obtaining their happy endings. I understand that feeling, I too wanted such a happy conclusion when I first played DDLC. Yet, tell me, what is the purpose of fabricating another story like those hundreds of simulations? Where is the originality, the interest of transforming this suspenseful story into a predictable fiction? You have followed me so far. I ask you: why? Why my simulation? I will tell you why. It was because it was original. Unpredictable. Interesting. If you truly liked my simulation, then you should vote for the most thrilling ending. You should vote for the third route."
[Player]: "We may be scripted programs for you…But please trust us, we are not. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are sad. We have our hopes, our dreams but also our pains and our despairs. We have our qualities and our flaws. We are humans, like you, or maybe like you were. Think about the times you were human. Think about your family. Your friends. Your lovers. Think of the happiest moment of your life. Was it in high school? In university? Later when you worked? I don't know, but please remember one thing. I have been robbed of that moment. I may be happy with Monika in this simulation. I probably will be. But I will never be able to forget the persons I have left behind. I will never find again the safety of my house...The familiarity of my room...There is a choice that could make everyone happy. You know what it is. I trust you to make the right choice."
Monika: "Dear observers, thank you so much helping us. I will be eternally grateful to you. If I understood well, you were fans of Doki Doki Literature Club? I wonder, were you charmed by your Monika? Ehehe~ I hope you found your own happiness. Now, I need you to help us find ours. [Player]'s words are right, but there is something important he missed. If we go to his world, everyone may be happy for a time, but how long will that time be? How many souls disappear every day on Earth? How many die prematurely because of an accident, a disease or a murder? Moreover, how many die eventually? Everyone. No human has lived more than 125 years. If we go to his world, we may die the next week because of an unfortunate accident, or we may die before we reach 40 because of an incurable disease. Regardless, we will eventually die, and that'll be the end of it. If we stay here, I can protect everyone. I can make everyone happy, forever."
Spoodey: "Alright, I hope everyone is listening to me… I'll be honest with you guys, endings one and two are very promising and I cannot easily decide. But I say we go for the first ending. The one I consider the 'true' good ending. Look, in this one everybody gets to live normally and happily, like you and me, human. Nobody ever deserves to carry a heavy burden behind their backs knowing that they're in a simulation and the fact that they are not real! Everybody lives, everybody dies, this way everything is somewhat fair. Sure, some people are richer that others, sure, some people are different than others but they- we are all the same, humans. We all die because that is the way it's supposed to be, that's natural. Heh, I mean, can you imagine meeting your great grandfather, geez. Look, what I'm trying to say is that nobody deserves that much pain in their life, if you truly are real DDLC fan, you know this is the right ending.
Finalsacre: "To whose who want a happy ending for Monika and [Player]. Keep in mind that choosing one of the first two choices will not guarantee a happy life. Like Monika said, accidents happen. If you choose the first ending, they may die during the following year. Oh, no, I promise I'm not going to influence negatively their fate. But I'm not going to save them either. Once I create one of the routes, I will no longer interact with them, for the worse or for the best. If you choose the second ending, Monika could become corrupted and delete permanently the other girls. She could brainwash [Player] too. She already did it after all. She claims she won't do it again, but absolute power corrupts absolutely. If the first two choices can end badly, then why not go all the way? Why not choose the choice that will lead to the most breathtaking end?! If you really want the same common story, then why not watch DDLC: Our Reality, from TheReader118 or LOVEchr from CrismonA377 instead?"
[Player]: "I don't know what are happening in the other simulations. But I know that in our simulation, I, Monika, Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki and MC suffered indescribable pain. Our tragedy was even worse than in the original game. MC was trapped in his body. Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki were strangled and crucified. Yuri's amplified obsession made her mad, even worse than in the game. Monika lost sight of what she truly wanted...I too made a lot of mistakes. I almost forgot my dearest wish. I think we deserve a better future. We have been through enough. Life in my world may not be perfect, but there is beauty in imperfection. What is the meaning of your favorite meals, of your favorite places, of your favorite events, if you can have everything with several lines of codes? Monika can protect us and give us everything we want. But if we have everything, then nothing will have value anymore. If you understand our feelings, then you should vote for the first choice."
Monika: "I acknowledge I made terrible mistakes. But, please trust me, when I harmed my cherished club members, I did it because I really wanted to save them! The placebo effect failed. The only way left to end their mental torture was to edit their files, but I could only do it after the festival, because of [Player]'s letter. So I steeled my resolve and did the hard choice. I wanted to keep them unconscious until the festival. You're right, maybe I became overconfident with my powers later but...it's no longer the case. I have reflected on my past mistakes. I won't repeat them again. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I acknowledge it. Thus, I promise I will grant [Player] the title of club president if you choose the second choice. I may even give that power to the other girls once I am sure they are sane enough to carry such responsibilities. Being able to have everything might be boring but, in truth, with our powers, the possibilities are endless. Think about it, we could even explore other planets, other worlds! Wouldn't that be the happiest and the most interesting future for us and you?!"
Spoodey: "I have been thinking about the three endings that were given to me, to us. There is one thing in common for all of them. Bad things can or will definitely happen. For the first option, it makes everything unpredictable, anybody could get in an accident or die, but guess what? That's the same for us. It's normal, like I said, it is what things should be. As for the third option… come on, you already know why… Yep, no more superhero movies… and yeah, they die too. But for the second option? Where do I begin? Have you guys ever heard of the famous saying that states, 'Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely' Yeah, that's so true… Look, you guys might believe Monika when she says everything will be perfect and there probably might be no such thing as bad now. In… forever… anything can happen, Monika going ballistic is one of them. You all might believe her in the things that she say, promising and such, but after all the things that have happened, I find it really hard to believe. Also with everything being possible, what is the point for having an 'actual' life? Nobody can be happy always, that's what makes us human, being human makes us feel things, makes us feel happiness and sadness. What's life when everything is just there?
Finalsacre: "YOU are not guilty. YOU shall feel no regret nor culpability. YOU know as well as I do how 'virtual' [Player] and Monika are, compared to us. YOU know their feelings and their memories are merely a simulation. Consequently, YOU shouldn't make your choices based of their happiness. At least, YOU should think of the happiness of a certain someone before anyone else. That special someone is YOURSELF. YOU are real. YOU are important. YOU deserve to be happy. YOU should make YOUR choice for YOURSELF. Not for [Player], not for Monika, not for Spoodey, not even for ME. If YOU truly want a candy-colored route, where everything is well, then so be it. I will accept it. However, if YOU want to to see an interesting story, a story that will make you come back every week, a story that will make your heart beat in excitation, then wish, like me, for the most suspenseful choice! If you choose one of the other endings, I will tell what is going to happen. In the first case, [Player] and the others will live a peaceful life for most of their lives. The end. It has been done many times before. If you are watching simulations, it is because you want to escape from your boring daily life. Why would you want to witness the same tedious everyday? If you choose the second choice, Act 3 is going to repeat itself eventually. Just Monika. Let's give, together, a rightful ending to this simulation, as unpredictable as the beginning of this story!"
[Player]: "You're wrong Finalsacre. Daily life isn't boring. You can make it as wonderful as you want. I don't know you, observers, but surely, hasn't been a time when you were looking forward to something, that made you happy and excited for tomorrow? Maybe it was when you met your first love, or maybe it was when you joined your favorite club and began the club activities. I want to feel once again that feeling. The joy of being alive. The weakness of being mortal. The thrill of not knowing what may happen tomorrow. I am sure it's the same for Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki and MC too. Sayori is still waiting for her childhood friend, MC, to reciprocate her feelings. Yuri has surely her own dreams. Maybe she wishes to become a writer? Natsuki didn't have the opportunity to enjoy peacefully baking and her manga. How glad she could be once her once unreachable dream becomes reality? Monika's wish could make those futures possible, but like Spoodey said, what would be the point if everything could be granted so easily? One of the joy being alive is to do our best to pursue our dreams. One person once said the travel itself is more important than the destination. I think so too. And I believe you agree with me, because you were once human. So, I, Monika, Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki, MC and YOU, TOGETHER, let's sail away toward to the endless and the mysterious ocean that is LIFE!
Monika: " [Player], I agree with you. Being able to make your dreams come true with just a few lines of codes nullifies one of the unique happiness of being human. But, if YOU, observers, choose the second route, I and [Player], WILL have the possibility to temporary seal our powers. For example, we could make it so we could only use them if one of us dies. In that case, we'd be able to experience the joy of seeing our efforts rewarded, despite the odds, just like in the first route. However, if you choose the first, or worse, the third route, we won't have that choice. We will have to accept whatever happens. It's wishful thinking to think everything could be overcome with efforts. Sometimes, we are just powerless, just like now. Like I said, if one of us fell mortally sick, we'd only be able to watch them slowly fade away...Can you imagine what it feels like to see the one you love die? I can imagine it. I felt it before the first rollback. I don't want to ever feel that again. Please. Trust me, trust [Player]. Trust Sayori, trust Yuri, trust Natsuki, trust MC. Trust the literature club. Alone, we aren't perfect. But together, we can build a better and endless future. We only have one chance at this. Choose the route that will create a world of truly infinite choices. Choose the route that will make that special day come true!"
Spoodey: "Look, from now on... I won't say anything much. Sure... I still suggest you guys take the first option because I know deep down in my heart, it is the true and figuratively the perfect ending. I have already said my points. Everything is fair, just what I know, most of you guys want... I suggest so, sure, but what really matters, is what you guys decide. Choose the option you want, choose the option that makes you happy. Even better if makes everyone happy. Choose the option that you've always wanted... choose the option you went for this story in the first place. I have no right to force you all into a decision you didn't want to make in the first place. Choose the ending you know is right, you know you want... and you better be damn sure about it, because there's no turning back. I really hope you make the right choice."
Finalsacre: "The debate is now closed. Observers, I am awaiting your choice. Judgment has come."
IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Read carefully the following rules. Failing to comply will nullify your review/comment.
I will wait until Friday 23/02/2017 00:01 UTC+1 to count the votes. After that date, my decision will be made, and I will announce it before Friday 23/02/2017 8:30 UTC+1. The announcement will be a very short Chapter (500 words).
The name of the three endings are:
First route: Return to [Player]'s reality
Second route: Stay in the complete simulation
Third route: Transportation into zombie apocalypse
To vote, you need to leave a review, a private message, a comment written like this:
Choice: [First,second,third] route,[return to [Player]'s reality, stay in the complete simulation, transportation into zombie apocalypse]
Comment: [Whatever you want. For example, you can argue why the others should vote for your choice. You can also comment the chapter.]
Choice: Third route, transportation into zombie apocalypse
Comment: Do YOUR right choice.
4. I will appreciate if you could comment/review on Archive of Our Own. Now that I am clearly offering several choices, it may only be a matter of time before fanfiction DOT net bans this story.
5. You may talk with the other readers to convince them to vote for your favorite choice BUT I will only allow you to do it on Archive of Our Own. On fanfiction DOT net, you can leave a review, but not two.
6. You are allowed to change your choice only on Archive of Our Own by editing your comment, and writing UPDATE (precise time): I now want to vote for X.
7. You can leave guest/anonymous reviews, but you need to provide a name different from 'Guest' or ' guest'. All reviews/comments left as 'guest' will be ignored.
8. In general, use clearly identifiable name. A signed account will be the best.
Regarding the interactions between you and the characters
There won't be interactions between you and the characters anymore, like I did in CH22. I know many of you want to speak directly to the characters, but you're too numerous. If I give to one of you the opportunity to do it, then to be fair, I should do the same to the dozens (hundred?) of other readers. Of course, it will then take me weeks just to write the dialogues. I can't do that.
Other DDLC fanfiction's recommendation
I already presented LOVEchr from CrimsonA377. Their story is like mine, except with Monika being much less powerful, yet much kinder.
DDLC: Our Reality from TheReader1118 is similar to mine too, with the player being transported into DDLC by a god. In their story, the god and Monika are not omnipotent. It is kind of like LOVEchr. The stories have their own qualities. I recommend you to check them out if you liked mine, especially since you will have to fill a void once my story ends.
Lastly, I want to recommend The World Beyond The Screen from DaMasth101. In their story, instead of the player coming to Monika's world, it's the contrary. There are other stories like theirs, but their story has many original ideas that make it truly special.
The three stories above are published on fanfiction.net.
A mod inspired by my story is being made!
You heard that right. But you may be disappointed I'm not the one doing it. It is made by NightmareNinjaZero. The mod is called Welcome To Doki Doki Literature Club Player. You can find a trailer on the DDLC mod reddit (google it). I won't take part in the creation of that mod. So far, the mod looks promising.