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Chasing the Lover's Blue Eyes

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Castiel walked down the hallways of Lawrence High, head low as his wild tuft of black hair blended into the crowd. The smaller boy never understood why life was so...weird. It was like he was the only one in this whole goddamn school who wasn't a jock or plastic girl trying to hook up. It's not like he cared anyway, he had someone by his side the whole way. He flinched as a group of the horniest dick-bags he knew rampaged down the hall, beating, punching, and yelling at each other for fun.

God Castiel would never understand why people don't like quiet libraries; it was the only thing keeping him sane, well, except for gardening class.

He ducked into the locker room and waited behind the door, breathing heavily as the crowd got closer. The football players were a force to be reckoned with, everyone knew that; everyone also knew their favorite punching bag was Cas. Castiel jumped when the door slammed open and kept his head down, trying to slip out next to the line of people unnoticed. All he had to do was get to Dean and he was home free.

The football team burst into the locker room, laughing and hollering as they knocked into one another. One of them noticed Cas and grabbed him by the shirt collar.

"Where you goin', fag? Didn't kill yourself like we told you to?" He snarled pulling Cas back into the locker room with the fifteen football players.

"Leave him alone, Benny." Dean tried to say, but he knew it was no use, besides, he needed to stay on the team.

Cas squeaked, slim arms scrambling to keep his books to his chest before he smiled nervously at the larger boy. He looked at all of the others in the room as he kept his head down, practically dangling from where he was being held.  

"Come on, guys, leave the kid alone." Dean tried again half-heartedly, elbowing his way to the front of the small crowd, all their eyes trained Benny and Cas. "Just leave him alone, he didn't do shit." Dean snapped at Benny, shooting Cas, his best friend, a quick look.

Castiel looked at the larger boy with wide eyes. It was like being face to face with a...bear, to be precise. He was huge and scruffy. Benny growled and glanced at Dean before lifting Cas off the ground by his collar, smirking.

"Beat em up or we will, brotha. It's a code." He said firmly, eyes glinting at Cas' look of confusion.

"Benny, I'm not beating up some twink-looking kid," Dean said gruffly, shooting Cas a look of apology. He knew that it would be better if he beat Cas up, as opposed to the rest of the team. Dean could hit in spots that won't damage Cas' body, and he would definitely hit softer than the rest of them.

Castiel gave Dean a stubborn glare at the name. "I'm not a twink!" He squeaked out stubbornly.

Benny smirked at the words and dropped Cas to the floor, sending him scattering in front of another boy. "Mm, I'm sure Luci would disagree." Benny drawled teasingly.

Castiel winced and looked up at the other team member, eyes widening when seeing the schools best defender looming over him with a perverted look. Cas scooted back and yelped when he felt someone kick his rib, sending his books flying.

"Stay still you little freak!" Michael growled out, looking down at Castiel with disdain.

It was like being in a violent twist of a mirror fun house.

"Stop!" Dean said, "I'll beat him up, damn." He offered in annoyance, helping Cas up. Castiel squeaked when he was dragged up, frowning when he came face to face with Dean.

"Dean what are yo- FUCK!" The smaller boy yelped, doubling over and squeezing his eyes shut as Dean delivered a quick punch to his ribs.

Dammit, it felt like he was hit by a bat or a small sized train. The smaller boy looked up from his hunched over position with a confused and betrayed look, hurt filling his blue eyes. They were friends. Why did Dean do that? 

Lucifer laughed lowly and laced his arms under Cas' until they looped to hold the back of his head still. Benny laughed at the smaller boy's groans and nodded to Dean.

"Now you get it, hit him again!" Benny said excitedly, adjusting his hat and crossing his arms in an expectant manner.

Dean clenched his jaw, thinking the whole thing over hesitantly before he hit Cas again, not in the same spot, of course, he could break one of Cas' ribs that way. Castiel wheezed struggled to get out of the larger boy's grasp, eyes widening when Dean didn't disagree.

"Dean don-!" Cas begged, yelping when Dean punched him across the jaw. Yeah, so what he was punching him? Dean still cared about his best friend.

"Fucking take it, bitch." He forced himself to grit out, and he kneed Cas in the groin.

The smaller boy's eyes bugged out his head as pain seared through him, tearing up at Deans words and the pain he was causing him. Cas let out a strangled scream, legs coming up to curl around his lower region as he jerked in Lucifer's grasp. Lucifer kept him up, laughing hysterically. This happened every day, it was nothing new, but usually, Dean was the one the stop the fight, now he was the one starting it. Michael started chanting Dean's name as the rest of the group joined in.

"HIT EM AGAIN!" Benny hollered wildly.

Dean gave Cas a solid punch to the solar plexus, letting out a slight hiss and shaking his hand, wincing as he heard the smaller boy cried in pain and let out a gusty breath, the air being forced from his body. Dean delivered a final, hard punch to the side of Cas' face, watching the boys' head snap to the side with the force of it.

"C'mon guys..." Dean said in a gravelly voice, his knuckles bruised and bloody.

Dean didn't like the way his best friend looked. It obviously wasn't fun for either of them.

Castiel's head lolled and his eyes became dazed, cheekbone throbbing from the punishing blow. Tears ran down his cheeks and his body thrummed with pain, another cry forced from him when Lucifer tightened his grip. Lucifer gave Dean a challenging look and raised an eyebrow.

"What? Goin soft? Hit. Him. Again." Lucifer said lowly, tightening his hold on the smaller boy in his arms with a smirk.

Dean knew that what he was doing to Cas was nothing compared to what Lucifer would do if he handed him over. "I'm not going soft, asshole." Dean rolled his eyes, kicking Cas in the crotch, hard. Dean gave Cas a solid punch to the nose, watching the blood squirt out and land on his letterman jacket.

Castiel let out a heart-stopping scream, jerking violently in the jocks arms. Lucifer dropped Cas to the floor, laughing as the blue-eyed boy curled into a ball. He looked almost pathetic...

Almost.

"Cmon Winchester, finish him," Michael said in a jokingly low voice. Dean looked down at Cas and almost threw up, seeing his best friends face covered in blood, with the knowledge that it was his fault.

"Let's just go," Dean said, tugging on Michael's shirt sleeve. "We've been in here too long, and if they see us with him on the floor like that, we're definitely getting kicked off the team. Expelled, too."

Castiel twitched, body trembling as panic filled him. He had such bad anxiety, the thought of him having no one to rely on anymore made him terrified.

Usually, Dean would find him when the team beat him up, he'd help him get home. But that wasn't the case this time. Lucifer growled and rolled his eyes, kneeling next to Cas and punching him in the stomach; but he didn't stop with one blow, he punched his sternum over and over and over, laughing when Cas let out grunts and jerked slightly. Castiel let out almost inaudible sobs of Dean's name, wanting his best friend more than anything right now.

Benny and Michael flinched when Cas would jolt with every punch, there was obviously something wrong. The smaller boy was in shock. But when Lucifer needed to vent, they didn't dare interfere. The defender was a bit deranged.

"C’mon man, let's go," Benny said, grabbing Dean's shoulder and guiding him into the hall.

"Dude you should get that checked out." He said, gesturing to Dean's knuckles.

"Yeah." Dean laughed, flexing his hand.

Suddenly, Dean made a huge show of checking his pockets.

"Oh, shit!" He hissed. "I left my phone in the locker room." He said, starting to turn around to go get it even though it was in his back pocket.

"Go without me," Dean said when Lucifer and Michael came out of the locker room and laughed, punching each other excitedly. "Coach said if you're late to any more classes, that you're gonna be benched the entire game Friday." Dean lied, knowing he could get away with it since he knew no one listened to Coaches talks.

When they finally shrugged and started talking to each other, he ran to the locker room, looking at Cas on the floor.

"Cas?" Dean said softly, starting to walk towards him. Castiel trembled and stared open-mouthed at the ceiling, face covered in his own blood and tears.

There was just so much pain.

The smaller boy had tears streaming down his face. Everything hurt, but it hurt so much more than it was Dean's fist and knee connecting with him every time, his best friends fist.

"Castiel?" Dean called out again, walking over to Cas and kneeling next to him. "I'm so sorry..." Dean whispered, putting his hand on Cas' arm, lightly. Castiel's slim arm jerked away from the muffled voices hand, body shaking harder.

"N-No more, please no m-more." He said hoarsely, voice quiet and pain filled as he hazily looked around for an escape.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Cas," Dean said, putting his hands on Cas' chest, pressing down lightly, making sure nothing was broken. Castiel cried out when Dean pressed on his chest.

"You're fine, Cas... Well, at least physically. Nothing's broken, but you're gonna be bruised as fuck and your nose is gonna be swollen for a couple of days." Dean said as professionally as he could.

The smaller boy realized that it was Dean and scrambled back, a small sob fell from his lips when he felt pain course through him. Dean did this to him because he cared more about how many people loved him than who loved him.

"N-No more!" Cas whispered brokenly, his voice hoarse and pleading before he curled into the fetal position.

"Cas, I'm sorry." Dean tried again, knee-walking towards Cas. "Please dont...dont cry..." Dean said softly, putting a hand on Cas' shoulders.

Castiel had never felt weaker. It was like Dean didn't even realize that he had done this to him like it didn't even matter.

"Don't l-lie to me," He breathed out, voice cracking. "Don't pretend that you didn't just do that to me."

"Cas, would you rather have me beat you up, or have fifteen beefheads beat the living shit out of you?" Dean asked.

Castiel whimpered and let out a wheezy breath. "I would rather have had a friend to pick me up after the beating. I would of rather you walked out of the room and left me. This was one of the worst beatings I had." He said, body shaking as he sat up.

"Cas, I tried to tell them to stop, but they wouldn't listen." Dean sighed, scooting closer next to Cas. "Please, Cas? Can you please let me help you home?"

Cas stood up and cried out, holding his abdomen and crotch desperately. "No. Because you will go fuck the life out of someone once you leave because that's all you can think about anymore. Sex, drugs and rock and roll huh? You fucked my sister one time, Dean. It was during a sleepover! You barely hang out with me! I mean nothing to you and it took you beating the living shit out of me to see that." He said brokenly, tearing up and wiping the blood from his cheek, frowning at the amount of it covering his hand.

"Why do you care who I fuck?" Dean asked bluntly, raising an eyebrow. "Just because I have a lot of sex, doesn't mean you're nothing to me," Dean said, standing up also.

Cas shrunk away and flinched, forgetting Dean wasn't gay. "Oh, my apologies. I seem to have misunderstood. You fucked up my face, penis, and chest." He said sarcastically, wiping more blood from his face with an aggravated look.

"Cas, please," Dean said, stepping towards him. "I have tons of medical shit at home to deal with your cuts and stuff, Cas. Just let me help."

Castiel looked at him with a look of disbelief, dropping his arms. He couldn't say anything, his heart was broken at the fact that Dean slept with so many people, the fact that he felt comfortable enough with beating the shit out of him and expected him to just come crawling back.

What was he to Dean? Another way to look cool?

Dean bent over and picked up Cas' backpack, knowing it was too heavy for Cas to carry in his current state. "Are you coming or not, Cas?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, his eyes begging for Cas to come with him. Castiel stubbornly held out a shaky hand for his backpack, eyes filled with fear and betrayal as he avoided eye contact with the larger boy.

As if on command Lucifer came in and rolled his eyes. "Yo Dean-o! You're taking forever! Hurry up man we need to get your hand better for the game!" Lucifer called out, growling when he didn't hear Dean shuffling around like he would have been.

"I'm coming Lucifer," Dean called back. "Cas, please, let me help you," Dean said softly, putting a hand under Cas' chin, tilting his head up so Cas could look into his eyes. "Please."

Castiel flinched when Dean touched his bruised jaw, remembering how hard Dean hit him. "Okay..." He whispered, eyes filled with trust, but distant fear.

Lucifer frowned and his footsteps started making their way towards the locker they were behind. "I'll take you home when he leaves," Dean whispered, wincing when he heard Lucifer behind him.

"Dude are you like jerking off or something? Or are you fucking another chick?" Lucifer said teasingly.

"J-Just making sure he keeps his mouth shut," Dean said in a louder voice, his hand dropping from Cas' jaw.

Lucifer laughed darkly and came around the corner. "Dude, you don't do that by sweet talkin' them. Here. I know you're new. Let me demonstrate my expertise." He said with a wiggle of his eyebrows before walking up to Cas.

The small boy shrank away slightly and kept his eyes down. Lucifer wrapped a hand around his neck and pushed him up against the locker, body flattening against Castiel's and keeping him pinned. Lucifer was known as a perverted guy, and it scared Cas more than anything that he was on top of Lucifer's hit list.

"Okay, you little twink. I don't want to hear a single word said to anyone. Do you hear me? Or I'll fuck you so hard you can't walk for weeks." He breathed out against the smaller boy's face, laughing when Cas squirmed and wrapped his hand tighter.

Castiel shrank away from the larger boy, wheezing as his breath was being cut off slightly.

"You fucking like it don't you..?" Lucifer purred lowly.

"Come on, Lucifer." Dean interrupted, grabbing Lucifer's shoulder and trying to tug him away from Cas.

"Let's just go, he's obviously not telling anyone."

Dean didn't like how Lucifer was saying that shit to Cas, it made something twist in his stomach that he didn't know was there before.

Suddenly, a playful cackle rang off the locker room's tile walls and a cheap smoke bomb was rolled onto the floor. Dean eyed it and his eyes widened when the cap popped off and smoke started pouring out of it. Lucifer shouted when Cas was yanked from his arms and the mystery figure took Cas' backpack from Dean's hands.

Castiel squeaked when he was swooped into someone's arms and laughed when he realized who it was. "Balthazar!" He giggled excitedly as Balthazar emerged with him from the locker room. Balthazar was his only friend beside Dean, and for some reason, he had a huge crush on Cas, always tried to woo him. But he was moving away soon, and it broke Cas' heart.

"Hey princess," Balthazar said teasingly.

"Damnit!" Dean groaned, coughing as he ran out of the locker room, trying to escape a large amount of smoke pouring from the canister.

Castiel tensed when Dean ran out, causing Balthazar to finally see his whole form. "Dude what happened?!" Balthazar yelped, looking at Cas' face in concern. He had never expected to see his friends face covered in blood and bruises.

"Cas!" Dean said, running towards them. "Come on, we gotta go before Lucifer comes out." Dean grabbed Cas' thin arm quickly.

Castiel yelped and turned his head to Dean, eyes widening as fear rushed through him. Balthazar frowned and squinted.

"Lucifer did this?! It looks like he went through a meat grinder! I'll kill him." Balthazar said angrily.

Dean rolled his eyes, not wanting to tell Balthazar the truth. "Cas," Dean said, forcing his voice to soften. "Are you coming? I really need you to come with me."

Castiel gave Balthazar a thankful look, giving him his best doe eyes. "Thank you so much, for everything. You're an amazing friend." He said softly.

Lucifer burst out of the locker room with an enraged shout, catching eyes of the blood covering Cas' face and making a full body turn towards the smaller boy. Cas yelped and without waiting for Dean he took off down the hallway.

"Just let him go, Lucifer!" Dean said, grabbing Lucifer's arm when he tried to chase after Cas. "God! Balthazar, go with him, make sure he's okay." Dean said quietly so Lucifer wouldn't hear.

Balthazar growled at Lucifer and stepped closer, getting in his face. "How dare you think you have the right to beat my friend half to death!" He yelled angrily.

Lucifer chuckled deeply and yanked his arm from Dean's grasp. "That wasn't me, fucker, that was him." Lucifer drawled with a proud nod Dean's way. Balthazar froze and looked at Dean with an incredulous look, glancing at his fists to see blood. His eyes slowly trailed off to Dean's face, a look of shock and anger covering his features rapidly.

Dean winced and tried to put his hands in his jacket, but Balthazar already saw. "Whatever," Dean growled, pushing past the both of them. "I'm going home." Dean was actually going to go to Cas' house, but he wasn't gonna tell Balthazar that. 

Balthazar gave Dean a murderous look and watched him walk away. "You disgust me, Dean Winchester! Only a monster would do that to him and not give a shit. He doesn't deserve it, and you know it!" Balthazar called out before walking off.

"Shut up, Balthazar," Dean called back to him, slipping into the bathroom that he saw Cas' backpack outside of.

Castiel looked at himself in the mirror, flinching when he saw what Dean did.

"Cas...hey..." Dean said softly, looking at Cas softly.

"It's really not that bad." Dean tried to tell him.

Castiel turned around and looked at Dean with a hurt look.

"Yeah, because I was supposed to take it like a bitch, huh?"

"Cas, you know I didn't mean that!" Dean said, walking towards him. "I'm sorry, but I'm here now, to help you."

Cas took a step back and clenched his jaw, tearing up as he wiped more blood from his face, revealing a busted up cut from Dean’s punch.

"You don't even feel any remorse over what you did do you! Don't act like I'll just come crawling back every single goddamn time you do this." He cried out, tears spilling down his cheeks as he wiped it away, getting blood everywhere with a frustrated cry.

"Cas please, I'm sorry!" Dean begged. "What can I do to make it better, Cas? Please, I'll do anything, you don't know how much this friendship means to me." Dean had tears threatening to fall too.

"Your football friends obviously mean more to you. I know I'm the school freak but I never thought you would be the one to be hitting me like a punching bag one day," Castiel said, pulling off his shirt as he got water and splashed his face, cleaning himself off.

Deans eye dropped to Cas' flat stomach, wincing when he saw the bruises. "You know that beating Michael gave you, that only lasted a few seconds? You would have had to take that for at least ten minutes if I hadn’t stepped up, Cas. They could have broken a rib."

"No. It was because you didn't want to lose your tough guy rep." Castiel said. "Now turn around I'm making sure you didn't break my dick." He said sarcastically, turning and dropping his pants to mid-thigh, grimacing at the bruises trailing down his abdomen. Castiel stood up straight and stared Dean dead in the eye through the mirror, noticing the boy hadn't turned around.

"Dean Winchester I am literally standing here with no pants on! Do you have no modesty?" He squeaked out, covering his crotch as his face turned red.

"Cas, we've known each other since kindergarten, I don't fucking care if you have no pants on." Dean rolled his eyes. "Come on, let me see if you're okay." Dean put an arm on Cas shoulder and turned him around so they were face to face.

Castiel squeaked and immediately turned redder than a tomato, his blue eyes contrasting the bright pink adorning his cheeks. "Dean come on! The last time we were naked in the same room we were nine and changing into swim trunks!" He yelped out, bringing a leg up to hide his stomach and below, keeping any piece of dignity he could as he hid his thighs.

"Cas, we're both straight, there's literally nothing to be ashamed of," Dean rolled his eyes. "Come on, Cas, you could be seriously hurt."

Castiel glowered and huffed. "Speak for yourself!" He said embarrassedly. Dean was straighter than a freshly sharpened sword, Cas was about as straight as a slinky.

He couldn't say that though. What if Dean beat him up?

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow at Cas. "What're you talking about?"

Castiel shrank away and turned red, eyes wide with fear. "Nothing. Go away." He whispered shakily.

"What aren't you telling me, Cas?" Dean asked, putting a hand on the sink so Cas couldn't get away.

Cas whined and glared at Dean's hand, looking at Dean warily. Yeah, he was going to hurt him again. "I don't like girls." He said with a look that practically screamed ‘is it not obvious?'

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Dean frowned, looking at Cas. "I thought we were best friends." Dean noticed Cas inching away and put his other hand on the edge of the sink, trapping Cas in.

Cas flinched and straightened up. "Best friends don't do what you did to me, think about it." He said sharply. "You're so straight you have a stick up your ass, why would it matter unless you were gay as well." The smaller boy snapped, turning to duck under Dean's arms.

"You're gay?" Dean asked, blocking him again. He didn't sound angry, just confused...curious. "How long have you known?"

"Sixth grade, never had a crush on any girls, but I've liked guys," Cas said awkwardly, inching away from Dean as he held his hands in front of his crotch.

"Well, what if I was gay?" Dean asked Cas. "What if I was gay and I liked you? Would you like me back?" Dean didn't really know where he was going with this, but he needed to know.

Castiel's eyes widened and he paused before glaring. "If you're gay just say it, it's not like I could judge you." He said defensively.

Dean had always felt...something for Cas, though he never knew what it was. He had just pushed it aside, knowing there was no way it could happen, but Cas had just changed that. Quickly leaning forwards, Dean closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Cas' warm, soft ones.

Castiel's eyes shot open before they quickly fluttered shut, his own lips slowly starting to move under Dean's. It felt like a million sparks were traveling through him.

Dean, on the other hand, still couldn't believe what he was doing. He was kissing a half-naked guy in a school bathroom. Dean pushed that thought aside and tilted his head, deepening the kiss.

Castiel shyly pulled back, panting as he stared up at Dean with wide and trusting eyes. “Dean, I'm naked in the middle of a public bathroom, what if someone comes in?”

"And that's a bad thing? Cas, come on, I gotta make sure I like guys, just let me kiss you." Dean pouted as he launched back in for a kiss before he stopped. He instantly realized what he had just said when he saw Cas freeze and tear up. Oh god.

"Cas, I didn't mean it like that-" He tried to explain.

Castiel pushed Dean off him and covered his body, jerkily pulling on his clothes before running out the bathroom door as tears streaming down his face. He couldn't believe he let himself fall for that. Dean had used him, what was even happening to his friendship with the Winchester?

"Cas wait, please!" Dean called after him, but Cas had already left.

"Fucking idiot!" Dean shouted to himself, punching the mirror in front of him, watching it crack, the small lines running up the edges of the mirror. Dean couldn't believe how fucking dumb he was, probably just ruined all chances he had of dating Cas in the future.

As he decided to leave, he saw that Castiel had forgotten his backpack. Dean grabbed it and walked down the hall, deciding he was going to go to Cas house and he was gonna win him back.

 


 

Castiel ran the whole way home, tears streaming down his face. It was cold, and he was lonely. Why did Dean do that? The smaller boy seemed to be a spider web for pain and trouble, his whole life, nothing more than a punching bag to the world and its offspring.

Cas made his way up the steps and walked into the safety of his home not noticing the car behind him. Dean had beaten him up, used him, and then pretended like it was nothing. His best friend. What happened? Castiel walked to his couch and rubbed his puffy blue eyes, fighting back a pain filled sob. He didn't understand, he did everything good to try and earn it back. He did beekeeping charity work three times a week and gardened in his free time, why didn't he get happiness in return?

The smaller boy's whole body froze when a loud crack sounded behind the door. An ominous repetitive thudding coming from it. It was off...almost as if someone uncoordinated was hitting something. Castiel stood up and warily walked to the door, standing on his tiptoes to look through the peephole.

Lucifer was standing outside, drunkenly hitting the doorknob with a large rock. The larger boy's nose was red from the chilly air, his eyes hooded and dark circles more pronounced.

Oh god, he's drunk, Castiel thought.

The football player hit the doorknob one last time until it clattered to Cas' wooden porch with a clank.

Castiel's blue eyes shot open and he scrambled back, regrettably making way for a very drunk Lucifer to push his door open.

Lucifer smirked and stumbled into the house, swaying on his feet slightly. "Honey I'm home!" He called out lazily, chuckling a bit at how creative that was.

Castiel tensed, fear consuming him as he ran to the kitchen, flicking the rug up on accident and knocking over a chair accidentally in his rush. The smaller boy scrambled through drawers until he finally grabbed a knife and turned, dropping it with a yelp when he turned to see Lucifer standing on the other side of his counter. The boy was two times bigger than him easily and was adorned with a Cheshire smirk to match his appearance. Suddenly, Cas missed Dean's presence more than anything right now.

Castiel backed up and clenched his jaw, noticing how drunk and dazed Lucifer looked. Fuck, this was not good, not good at all. He turned and ran upstairs, gripping onto the railing like it was a life support, frantically trying to find a weapon when he heard thudding and stumbling footsteps following him up the stairs at a much faster pace than he expected.

 


 

Dean had been driving home from the school in his prized Impala, trying to get to Cas as fast as he could. His combat boots thunked on the concrete while he got out of his car and took a deep breath.

Okay, Winchester, just go in and apologize, this was Cas, he's a lover, not a fighter, he thought in determination.

Dean sighed and awkwardly held Cas' backpack before looking up, his whole 6'2 body stopping cold when he saw a large truck outside of his best friends house. Usually, it wouldn't surprise him, but he knew that car anywhere. He could spot those bumper stickers from a mile away when needed. Getting closer to it, he mumbled under his breath, "No...it can't be."

Yup, it was definitely Lucifer's car, but for some weird reason, it was parked askew to the driveway. He recognized the dent in the side, hell, he had put it there. Dropping Cas' backpack, Dean sprinted to Cas' door, his heart freezing when he saw the broken doorknob. Castiel wasn't strong enough to do that, god the boy couldn't even lift a cinder block without whining.

Walking inside, he worriedly looked around, his stomach twisting when his green eyes surveyed the house, it was a mess, it looked like there was a fight, or at least a lot of quick and clumsy movement. "Cas?" He called out hesitantly.
Dean slowly stepped further into the house, clenching his jaw at the knife laying on the floor, at least it was there, no blood in sight, that was good.

A loud crashing sound came from upstairs and the sound of what could've been someone hitting the floor rang out. No, that sounded too heavy to be Cas. Dean immediately sprinted up the stairs, calling Cas' name.

When he burst into the room he almost sighed in relief as he saw Cas holding a gardening tool - Dean couldn't be more thankful for Cas’ obsessions - and Lucifer sprawled on the floor of Cas’ room with a forming bruise on his jaw.

The quarterback ran over and took the tool from Cas, gently moving him to the bed before turning back to Lucifer. “Dude you're fucking wasted, get out!” Dean snapped, watching Lucifer drunkenly stand. Lucifer lazily looked at Dean and scoffed, waving a dismissive hand at the green-eyed boy. “Whatever dude.” He drawled before stumbling back out to his car. Dean waited until the sound of an engine started up before turning to Castiel with a worried look.

"Cas…" Dean said softly, walking to the boy on the bed. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner."

Castiel flinched when Dean came over, scrambling farther away. Dean had hurt him, emotionally and physically.

"Cas, please," Dean begged, deciding to keep his distance. "I'm sorry for everything I did, and now I'm probably gonna get kicked off the team for defending you."

Cas clenched his jaw and wiped away the tears jerkily. "Oh, I'm sorry. If you didn't notice he's so drunk that he broke the handle off instead of just opening the door, he won't even remember." He said half-heartedly.

"Cas, I'll buy you a new one, doorknobs are like five dollars at Home Depot. I can even come patch it all up after school." Dean offered, sitting hesitantly on the bed next to the smaller boy.

Castiel sniffled and couldn't stop the thing that happened next. He broke down. The smaller boy cried, hard, as he wrapped his hands over the back of his head and tucked it between his knees to hide his face. Dean was so strong, Cas probably looked like a fool right now compared to his macho-facade.

"Cas, please, can I hug you?" Dean asked, moving so he was a few inches away from Cas, close enough for Cas to wrap his arms around Dean if he wanted to.

Cas nodded and kept himself in the curled up position he was in, rocking himself back and forth as his voice broke with each sob. His best friend, the only person he trusted, had beaten him up when he knew he was going through a hard time. Why was life like this to him?

"Cas, please don't cry," Dean said softly, wrapping his arms around the sobbing boy. "It's all gonna be okay, Cas, you can get through this, you're strong," Dean said, rubbing Cas' back.

Castiel shook his head and fought back tears, muffling his sobs by biting his lip. The truth was, he wasn't strong, not strong enough. God, the things he did at night, what Dean did to him, it broke him apart.

"Cas, you are strong enough," Dean said, almost like he could hear Cas' thoughts. "You're so incredibly strong and brave...come on..." Dean said softly into Cas' hair.

"Let's get you cleaned up. "

Castiel looked up at Dean, blue eyes surrounded by red as he stared with puppy eyes. "Why. I want to know why you did it." He said shakily, blue eyes boring into Dean's green ones.

"Did what?" Dean knew Cas could be talking about a dozen different things right now.

"All of it," Castiel said in a hushed whisper.

"Cas…" Dean had no explanation. "I'll leave if you want me to," Dean said softly. "Right after we clean you up. Then I'll leave. Never talk to you again, I'll leave you alone, Cas." It hurt Dean to say it, but Cas was better off without him. At least that's what Dean thought, he had no idea how much the boy felt for him.

Castiel froze at the words and couldn't believe Dean had no reason for doing all of those things to him. The smaller boy let out a whimper at how easily Dean could say he would leave him. He was all Cas had and he knew it, Dean was just too macho to admit it.

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone, Cas?" Dean said, confused. "You know what? That's not important. What's important is getting you cleaned up, come on Cas. You know I'm not taking no for an answer." Dean stood up and reached a hand out to Cas to help him get up.

Castiel relaxed a bit and nodded, awkwardly grabbing onto Dean's hand and pulling himself up. Everything hurt, and now his eyes hurt.

"Come on," Dean said softly, holding Cas and walking him to the bathroom. "Take off your shirt and pants, you probably have split skin all over the place," Dean said, squatting down to look under their sink, knowing that's where they kept the alcohol and first aid kit.

Castiel tensed and stayed unmoving, fingers nervously playing with the sides of his pants on instinct, no way he was taking his clothes off in front of Dean after what happened earlier, no way.

Dean looked over and saw Cas was still clothed. Raising an eyebrow, he said, "Cas, please. You’re gonna get infected if I don't clean them."

Castiel slowly took off his shirt and left his pants on, standing taller so he didn't look so feeble, his thighs were littered with scars and slits and gashes, some pleads and others insults, he didn't want to do it, but he had to, to keep himself sane. He couldn't take his boxers off, that was the farthest he would go if anything.

"Thank you, Cas," Dean said, smiling softly. "Now the…" He gestured to Cas' jeans that were still on.

Castiel shucked off his jeans and nervously pulled down the hem of his boxers to hide his mistakes, watching Dean's every move like he would all of a sudden pull out a gun and ask for all of his money. Of course, Dean would never actually do that, but the guy was moody, like a ticking time bomb of angst and his temperament was a whole other story.

Dean was looking through the first aid kit, trying to respect Cas' privacy. "Tell me when you're done," Dean said, still facing away from Cas.

Castiel looked down and pulled his boxers down to cover his thighs, clearing his throat and nodding. "Um, yes. I'm fine." He said, bringing his hands up to nervously fumble together.

"Okay." Dean turned around, washing his hands thoroughly and picking up the alcohol and cotton balls before walking over to Cas. "Sit on the toilet," Dean instructed.

Castiel nodded and sat down, letting his head rest back against the wall as he gripped the sides of the toilet, he knew this would sting like a bitch, but he could be manly for once in his life, right?

"I'm gonna do your chest and abdomen first, okay?" Dean said softly, making sure Cas knew what was happening. Getting out a cotton ball, he wet it with alcohol and swiped it across the highest cuts on Cas' skin, making his way down. Dean must've punched him harder than he thought he was if he'd broken this much skin. God, he felt awful, Cas was so innocent and kind, he should have just gotten his head out of his ass and ran out the door instantly with Cas in his arms.

Castiel hissed and clenched his jaw, breathing heavily at the sting. He was a wimp, and he knew it. "Its okay, keep going." He confirmed when he saw Dean hesitate.

Dean nodded even though Cas' eyes were closed and got another cotton ball, wetting it and repeating what he did the first time, slowly making his way down until he was at the waistband of Cas' boxers. "I'm gonna do your legs now, okay?" Dean asked, throwing away the cotton balls that he had used on Cas' chest and getting out new ones. "I'm gonna have to push these up, Cas," Dean said, touch the hem of Cas' boxers, starting to push them up.

Castiel jolted and slapped Dean's hand away, yanking the hem down again. "N-No! I assure you I'm fine there you don't have to do my legs." He said.

"Cas? What's wrong? I swear I'm not gonna touch your dick or anything." Dean said defensively, looking up at Cas from between his legs.

Castiel shook his head and nodded. "I know you aren't, I said my legs don't need to be cleaned." He said quickly, standing up as he nervously.

Dean quickly stood up, also. "Cas, what’re you hiding from me?" Dean asked, his voice almost maternally scolding while he set the cotton balls down.

Castiel gave Dean a defensive look. "Nothing!" He said exasperatedly. "You can sleep over, but I'm going to bed, it's early but I'm tired." He said quickly, gathering his clothes and throwing them in his hamper.

Dean stood at the bathroom door, his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised at Cas’ behavior. "Cas, you know I'm not letting you leave until you tell me or you let me clean your legs," Dean said sternly.

"It's nothing Dean! I'm just tired and my legs are fine, I just don't feel comfortable showing them." Castiel mumbled awkwardly, moving past Dean to lay face first on his bed. Today was crazy, he just wanted to sleep and forget everything. The smaller boy curled up, kicking the blankets away and quickly falling asleep, nuzzling into the pillow. His chest rose and fell as a peaceful look spread over his sharp features.

Dean watched in defeat and saw Cas was fast asleep, so he decided to look at Cas' legs. Maybe he got a tattoo or something. Even though Cas was a goodie two shoes and would never do such a thing, he needed an excuse to ease his guilty conscience.

Quietly, he walked over to Cas' bed, holding his breath. He put a hand on Cas' shoulder and flipped him over, praying Cas wouldn't wake up.

To be honest, anyone would admit this so it isn’t just him, but Cas had a gorgeous body, it was practically hairless from the hair on top of his head, and every pale inch of skin was flawless, just begging to be touched. Dean thought Cas was perfect, inside and out.

Castiel's brow furrowed and he grabbed the pillow, sleepily pulling it over his head. As he shifted the hem of his boxers moved up a bit, revealing the tip of a silver line running along his leg.

Dean raised an eyebrow before he pushed the hem of his boxers up more, his breath stopped when he saw a litter of scars all along Cas' thigh. Some just harsh, meaningless lines and other full words, pleas for help.

Castiel grunted in his sleep and rolled over, facing Dean while he slept soundly. The hem of his boxers slid up almost all the way, each new inch of revealed skin having fresher and fresher cuts until there was a busted open wound from when Dean kicked him in the crotch as hard as he could, right in the inner corner of his thigh along with the rest of the slits in his legs.

Dean let out a small moan of pain. "Cas…" He whispered to himself, reading the words carved into his thigh. The word 'fag' was written a couple of times, along with 'alone' and 'worthless'. Dean bit into his bottom lip. He wanted to wake Cas up, wanted to hug him, tell him everything was going to be okay, but he knew Cas would hate him forever for invading his privacy. Besides, one particular word caught his eyes. Dean. Oh god. “Cas I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.” He whispered.