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Fleetwood Mac Funny Fiction

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Chapter One

Stevie sat behind Ken and Richard, listening while they discussed possible ideas for the songs they were working on. A heavy sigh drifted from her lips. She was thoroughly bored. It was bad enough that she had to be at the studio, day in and day out, but now Lindsey was taking up most of the studio time doing things she thought were insane, like recording in the studio bathroom because he liked the acoustics in there.

She shifted uneasily in her seat while she looked at the clock on the wall. She rolled her eyes when she noticed it had been only two hours since she arrived at the studio and they still had a long night ahead.
The studio door opened and Lindsey strolled in. Everyone turned to look at him while he glanced at Richard and Ken and finally Stevie. A smirk spread over his face as he walked over to her.

“Finally done using the crapper, Lindsey?” Stevie said with a sneer while Lindsey stopped beside her chair and stared down at her.

“Not unless you want to use it with me, Stevie,” he said.

Stevie snorted.

“Nah, you can get Carol Ann to do that one,” she said.

She then tried to turn her attention back to the mixing board, trying to get past the fact that both Richard and Ken were watching her and Lindsey to see what they would do next.


Stevie sighed when Lindsey spoke after thirty seconds of silence.

“Wanna come to the bathroom with me?”

Stevie rolled her eyes when Richard and Ken shared a look and snickered before they turned their attention back to Stevie. Stevie sighed and looked up at Lindsey who was watching her with baited breath.

“Nooooo…” Stevie said, drawing the word out before turning her attention back to the console.

She sighed again when Lindsey grabbed a chair, pulled it up next to her and plopped down in it.
Richard glanced at Ken and raised his eyebrow while Ken smirked and turned back to the soundboard.

“I’m done with the bathroom,” Lindsey said.

“Goody for you, Lindsey,” Stevie said, rolling her eyes.

“Wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to Richard,” Lindsey said, pointing to him. “I’m done with the bathroom now, Rich.”

“Okay…” Richard said while Ken shook with silent laughter.

“I didn’t tinkle in there,” Lindsey said, crossing one leg over the other. “Didn’t want any pee sounds getting on the recording.”

“Mmm...” Richard said while Ken bit his lower lip to keep his laughter in. “I’m impressed at your obvious bladder control then, Buckingham.”

“Yeah, learned that back in the days when we were living with Stevie,” Lindsey said, casually leaning back in his chair. “I remember one time I drank a keg of beer and wanted to go to the little men’s room but Stevie wanted sex so I had to hold it in while she was servicing me.”

Richard grinned when Ken sniggered at that. Richard glanced at Stevie and noticed she was trying desperately not to crack a smile.

“Yup, I held it in for six hours straight,” Lindsey said with a smug grin.

“Lindsey, don’t you have something better to do,” Stevie said. “Like recording in a dumpster?”

Richard and Ken glanced at one another and grinned while Lindsey pretended to think that one over.

“Recording in a dumpster…hadn’t thought of that one before,” Lindsey mused while Stevie let out another weary sigh. “Say, I could record inside a mailbox. That would be interesting!”

“And cramped,” Ken said, glancing back over his shoulder.

“Yes,” Lindsey said, nodding. “It would be cramped with you, me and Richard in there. Not to mention the soundboard and the recording equipment. Plus, what if someone wants to mail a large package while we’re in there? We’d have to put it in Richard’s mouth to make room for us.”

Lindsey glanced over at Stevie who was now biting down on her lip while Richard and Ken glanced at her and grinned at each other. Richard then leaned over, whispered in Ken’s ear and both men got up and walked over to Lindsey. Lindsey’s eyes widened as Richard sat on his lap and Ken sat on Richard’s lap.

“So…this is how we’d have to fit in the mailbox,” Richard said to Lindsey. “Me on you and Ken on me. Then Ken will have to hold the mixing board above his head and I suppose you could sit on the tape player and I hold the large package in my mouth while the microphone stuck out my ass so it wouldn’t drop to the bottom while you recorded…”

Lindsey grinned when Stevie finally lost it and burst out laughing.

“Something funny, Nicks?” Lindsey asked innocently.

“God, you three were made for each other. Larry, Moe and Curley,” Stevie said, shaking her head. “I’d love to stick around and listen to how you’ll be able to stuff the mailbox but I have to pee now. So have fun discussing your mailbox recording plan.”

“Wait! I wanna go with you,” Lindsey said as Stevie got up from her chair. “Wait, Steves! I…will you guys get off me so I can follow her?” he said to Richard and Ken while they giggled uncontrollably.

Richard looked at Ken and shrugged before the two of them hopped off of Lindsey’s lap.

“Wait, my turtledove, don’t take a shit without me!” Lindsey hollered as he followed Stevie out the studio door.

“Never a dull moment around here, eh,” Ken said to Richard as they settled back into their chairs.

“Got that right, man. Now all we have to do is listen for the slap when Stevie realizes she has a visitor in the john,” Richard said.

The two men chuckled as Richard grabbed a nearby bag of weed and started to roll a joint.