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DLC1: Roses are Red

Chapter Text

Tsuna fiddled with his attendance lanyard tag. The convention was huge. Well, of course it was huge, it was in America. He’d leveled his ‘American’ ten times just from this morning. Half of those were actual helpful lessons. One lady had explained the English ‘r’ sound and also how to make a ‘v’ noise. Other stuff included the fact that he didn’t have to work out English honorifics in America or Australia because most places didn’t actually have them.

Tsuna started to wonder if he might be getting a little excessively into the languages thing. It was the easiest thing to level in the game though. It didn’t matter. He enjoyed picking up three levels in Hindi, two in Russian, another six in Mexican-Spanish and four in Italian. The local newspaper-seller was right about the pizza places being better when run by Italian families.

Tsuna subtly dropped the ‘cafeteria pizza’ into a trash can. He looked around for a while before freezing. In the distance, at a How to Train Your Dragon table was a man who had a tag over his head! He even recognized it from the site. Lots of good things were said about the [Master of Death].

Tsuna approached slowly. He didn’t want to seem like a stalker. Faking interest in other things to get closer was actual stalking though so he wouldn’t fake that far. [Master] would see his tag eventually anyway.

“Pardon me?” Tsuna registered that he’d switched (Almost imperceptibly) into British English.

“Ah?” [Master] turned, registered his tag, and smiled down at Tsuna. “I’m here,” he said gesturing to the room they’d just entered, “for the presentation. Can you wait until after?” There was a sleeping kid in his arms, a little younger than Tsuna.

“Yes.” Tsuna nodded gratefully. [Master] offered him the next seat over and they settled in for an exclusive lecture on gamer things. (Tsuna had been so excited to see another gamer he hadn’t even noticed that everyone in this tiny room had a tag.)

“Welcome, everyone.” the man at the podium greeted. He was the oldest there, barely in his thirties. The tag above his head read: [The Gamer]. It was the first Life Gamer, the first of all the people here to look up one morning and wonder when they’d started hallucinating, the first to know that the world really was a game for them.

Tsuna was awed. Almost enough to ignore when [Master] subtly handed the program to him under the guise of laying the young child with him onto his lap. For a moment, Tsuna almost saw a flicker over the kid’s head and heart. Drawing attention to the program again.

The first topic was about Dating and Sex.

Tsuna was suddenly terribly grateful that they’d chosen seats in the back and that [Master] had thought to warn him.

“The first thing is always how to tell an NPC from a real person IRL. Many have faced the problem of trying to have a real relationship while also being afraid that, as a gamer, you are on some level in control of your partner…”

“You must trust the People in your life to make their own choices, and yes, even mistakes. Whether dating you is a mistake is up to you…”

“Everyone has seen the ‘gay option,’ that time when you realize, through observe or an action check, that you can date within your own gender, despite societal norms. I myself nearly had a breakdown when I saw it. This is normal, we are Gamers and Protagonists. Nobody will be ostracized for seeing or even taking this option…”

“Above all, you can cure a disease with a cheap potion or just chugging enough water. Your partner, more than likely, cannot. You must be aware of this…”

“More information may be found in the ‘Dating Sims and Up’ sections of the main site. Be safe, thank you for coming!”

Tsuna had never been so grateful for the seal on his flames. If he had access he’d have spontaneously combusted. [Master] tapped his hand and hefted the kid. Tsuna took the offered hand and endured the terrible squished sucking feeling of [Master]’s teleport spell. He took a moment to reel his stomach back in as [Master] tucked the kid into a bed. When they were done [Master] showed Tsuna the door number and hotel on the way back to the convention.

Tsuna started asking his questions when they reached the Anime section.

“You know your Tag says [Boss],” [Master] told him when he asked. They talked over a Pokémon merchandise table.

 “But what does that mean?” Tsuna asked. He examined a particularly cute hat with “Once I evolve…” on it.

“You’re going to be the boss of something important someday. Either getting there or something that happens when you do will make you into a protagonist of some kind. That always happens. See that guy?” [Master] gestured to a guy in a red Chinese outfit with oddly long hair in a short ponytail. Above his head was the tag; [Martial Artist]. He hadn’t been at the presentation. Tsuna immediately saw why.

“Yeah?” Tsuna watched warily from the corner of his eye as the guy desperately tried to placate a crowd of increasingly hostile women hanging off him. He startled when [Master] paid for the hat and dropped it on Tsuna’s head.

“Went for the title of best Martial Artist in the world via his dad’s ‘Anything Goes’ style. Got it when he was fourteen via his dad’s insane methods.” [Master] looked oddly grim for something that sounded like good news. “The Game thought that storyline was boring and now he’s stuck in a martial-arts-dating-sim.”

“The game passes judgement on how entertaining we are?” Tsuna shrieked. “I’m a Middle-School Loser!”

[Master] stared at him. “If we weren’t in a gamer’s convention that would have attracted all the bad attention.” He pointed out. “And yes. I managed to make like a British chosen-one adventure protagonist and keep my dignity, but you live in Japan so…good luck future anime protagonist.”

Tsuna heaved a sigh so hard it nearly threw out his back. “Great.” He plucked the hat off and offered it back to [Master].

“Keep it.” He smiled, looking more tired than Tsuna ever wanted to be. “You’ll need the advice.”

“Advice?” Tsuna looked down at the hat.

“When you evolve,” [Master] looked a little happier. “You’re going to kill them all.”

“Helpful.” Tsuna stated. It was, a little.

“When your life is a game?” [Master] smiled. “It pays to have fun with it. On a less serious note, who do you want as your ‘gay option?’ I had a major squish/crush on this boy named Cedric in school. Krum was awesome too but that may have been a weird plays-the-same-sports-position rivalry...”

Tsuna took a moment to smile as he thought of the people at his school whose names he knew. Playing around with the kink lifestyles mentioned at the presentation wouldn’t go amiss either.  If he could purge shame before his story started then he wouldn’t have nearly as many issues to deal with.

He pretended valiantly that the “Fanservice Song” didn’t get stuck in his head immediately.

Chapter Text

The thing about embarrassing talks is that they stick in such a way as to come up with specific details while you’re trying to work.

On that note, Yamamoto’s baseball shorts were skintight. Tsuna did not need to notice this while it was their turn to clean the locker-room and Yamamoto was *dramatically* posed on a bench.

[Master] had been kind enough to introduce him to other Gamers. One of those other Gamers had been cruel enough to kick-start Tsuna’s sexual awakening with Labyrinth. There were certain similarities in between-legs shadows that Tsuna really shouldn’t be considering at school. Even or Especially if he could see the dimples in Yamamoto’s butt from here when he turned…BAD TSUNA!

Tsuna managed to make his shriek look like it was caused by him slipping on a shard of soap and falling instead of seemingly randomly freaking out. It gave him a moment to compose himself so that every other word out of his mouth wasn’t an innuendo or dirty pun.

It was after he’d let the conversation continue and still accidentally made at least twelve more drops down a Freudian Slippery Slope that he remembered that Yamamoto was failing math and language and naturally wasn’t catching them.

If they didn’t get out of this room or cooled off soon though, Tsuna was going to start twitching. Before that stupid convention he’d had no idea how many innuendos could be made with just baseball terminology.

If he didn’t know about Yamamoto’s failing grades and favorite sport he’d think the other boy was doing it on purpose.

He made his escape after the last rinse and the coach walked in to check. The man had been drinking from a water bottle and Yamamoto had just made another accidental ‘pitcher/catcher’ pun.

Tsuna giggled as he kindly dragged Yamamoto out of the line of fire with him before heading home.


“Stop being dramatic.” Tsuna slapped Yamamoto’s hand away from his cast. “Broken arms heal in less than two months for kids our age. Although, I’ve gotta ask. I’ve seen you practice baseball before how have you not broken anything until now?”

“But now I can’t play baseball! Nobody likes me when I’m not playing.” Yamamoto slumped. “And I have, but they happened in off-seasons when I wasn’t being counted on.”

Tsuna sighed in aggravation, “I know I’m called Dame-Tsuna around here still but I do exist you know.”

“Even you don’t like me when I’m not playing Sawada-san, you just tolerate miserable people better than anyone else in this forsaken school.”

“Now would be the time,” Tsuna said, with an edge to the patience he was faking, “To find things other than baseball to enjoy while you’re waiting for your favorite sport to come back. You don’t have to be good at something to like it. I would know.”

“I’m Useless like this…”

“Say that One. More. Time. In front of me. I dare you.”

“Sorry. You’re right, and I like all games. Baseball’s just the one I’m good at.”

“You’re damn right you’re sorry.” Tsuna paused. “Not your favorite?”

“The applause adds a little something but I’m also into video games. Especially ones with swords.” Yamamoto finally stopped his melodramatic flopping.

“Ever played Oblivion?”

“Sucked at it. Loved it anyway. Dad tossed it for being an abomination to swordplay.” Yamamoto giggled.

“I just got the Knights expansion. Want to come over and trash that glitchy swordplay?” Tsuna relaxed.

“Yeah. Thanks.”


Tsuna let Yamamoto play his turn while he was on the phone. Harry was alright but each of these cut-scenes was more dangerous than the last. Ranma’s advice on stalkers and getting better friends was pretty good though.

“His name is Harry.” Tsuna said quietly. “He’s a great penpal and he’s managed to talk me down from a lot of stupid stuff. He said he’d like to talk to you too.”

“Does he like baseball?” Yamamoto tilted his head,

“He lives in Britain. They have Cricket instead. You may have to explain it to him.”

“Anyone who would like baseball?”

“Percy’s American. They are all about baseball. We can practice English and do that homework while he’s on the phone as well.

They called Percy. Percy and Yamamoto got along great while talking about baseball in statistical terms and mathematical principles as translated numbers dictated and Tsuna occasionally corrected. At least to start with. The homework went. Percy started with the disclaimer that Tsuna was better at spelling in English (either kind) so they didn’t bother spelling things out.

Things got a little awful when Yamamoto tried to use the lesson to say something about baseball in English. Jackson barely managed to squeak out a Japanese-ish explanation of why he was laughing. That led into a giggle-filled explanation of why you always look up the profanity of a language first.

Yamamoto got progressively more pale-and-red blotchy as the explanation went on and Tsuna could see the realization on his face when Tsuna admitted to not bothering to correct a lot of their classmates (and teacher’s) English mistakes. When Percy finally hung up (still laughing) the baseball nut hid his face in a pillow behind his cast.

Yamamoto let out a keening whine, “whdndytlme.”

“Tell you what?” Tsuna patted at Yamamoto’s head while the boy hid his face in Tsuna’s couch-pillow.

“That!” Yamamoto jerked his head up and made a vague ‘batting’ motion, froze halfway through, and hid his face in a pillow again, this time with his mouth free. “With the…words, and double meanings and ‘pitcher’ and ‘catcher’ and Oh Kami Sawada, you pulled me away from the coach when he did that spittake what did I say?!”

“You know what you said… Or did you mean innuendo-wise?” Tsuna started humming to calm down, realized that he was still stuck on ‘The Fanservice Song’ and stopped.


“oh.” Tsuna fidgeted. “For the record I knew you didn’t mean it and you sounded so happy I didn’t know how to say… and really what do you say to something like that anyway?”

“Oh Kami…” Yamamoto stared at Tsuna, jaw dropped and pale.

“I still think you’re a good friend.” Tsuna patted Yamamoto’s arm to reassure. “Just, when you’re talking to someone who speaks multiple languages however well or not-so-well, be aware that some things translate really, really badly. Can you handle actually hearing the translation of our conversation?”

“I need to know, and we need a signal for when I’m accidentally doing that so nobody gets scarred for life.”

“I’ll tap my bottom lip with a finger like ‘thinking’ pose, more times for more awkwardness. You need a signal too. We can also use it to signal each other about other things, like uncomfortable situations. And speaking of which, I was hearing that locker-room convo after I was just off of getting The Talk in three different languages so I was already on a bad mental track straight into a gutter. Anyway, you said…*”

“If I’m uncomfortable I’ll just do that tense fake laugh nobody ever catches. ‘Hehe’ instead of ‘Haha’. Maybe we can make a secret code out of it eventually. As for the locker-room talk, we will never speak of it again.” He finally peeked up.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you make embarrassing mistakes in class anymore Yamamoto-san.” Tsuna smiled.

“At this point we’ve said enough dirty things to each other, you can call me Takeshi.” Yamamoto, Takeshi smiled.

“Tsuna.” Tsuna reciprocated


When Takeshi said he didn’t want to talk about something it turned out he meant he wanted to talk about everything but his own and Tsuna’s mistakes. They were in competition for first ‘accidental’ innuendo that the teacher would actually have talk to them about. Their English grades were skyrocketing. Their ability to communicate without words as well.

So when Takeshi admitted that he should probably learn how to flirt, if only so as not to do that by accident either, Tsuna agreed but stated that they should ‘Phone a Friend’ for the first bits of information. Takeshi agreed that he’d like being able to claim that flirting with someone was an accident for a bit longer.

Tsuna had gotten that talk already, (the Gamer version) and left Takeshi asking Yugi and Harry questions to make cookies.

He added three levels to baking before he noticed his mother and Reborn filming him. It took him a couple seconds of ignoring them to realize that they were giggling because he was wearing the pink frilly apron and baking.

He paused for a moment, hiding his face by bending over the mixer, to decide how to press forward. If he freaked out at being ‘caught’ they’d hold it over his head. They were already filming in an attempt to hold something over his head.

He had finished the chocolate cookies and was moving on to biscuits. He checked his gamer-phone and texted Harry to pass on to Takeshi that he wanted to fuck with the adults. He wasn’t ashamed of preferring the apron that didn’t get in the way of his arms and smelled like baked vanilla. Shame was for people who did immoral things. Ignoring gender norms was barely odd!

Takeshi came downstairs, complete with ditsy-the-baseball-nut face on. Tsuna carefully maneuvered so it looked like he hadn’t noticed the ‘adults.’

“Hey ‘Keshi!” Tsuna smiled. Visible from the side where the adults were, it looked sweet. The glint in his eyes clearly got across though, he could see Takeshi reflecting it.

Takeshi immediately leaned in next to Tsuna and fiddled with the edge of the apron. “What kind Tsu?”

Tsuna smiled wider. “Biscuits. Chocolate cookies in the oven.”

“Yay!” Takeshi pressed against Tsuna’s side completely. “Can I help?”

Tsuna tapped a finger against his bottom lip once. “Other apron is over there, bottom drawer, it’ll probably fit you.”

Takeshi immediately backed off and bent over in an ENTIRELY UNNECCESSARY DISPLAY as he pulled out the denim apron. “Help me tie it?” He kindly ignored the full flush Tsuna was sporting.

Tsuna lingered visibly on tying it. It looked like he was caressing Takeshi’s back and sides but all he was really touching was his loose shirt. He couldn’t excuse touching here if he tried.

“Hehe, that tickles.” Takeshi signaled.

Tsuna let go of the ties. “Sorry,”

“It’s OK!” Takeshi put an arm around Tsuna’s shoulder and squeezed before letting go. He was still inside Tsuna’s personal bubble but not ‘creepy boyfriend’ close anymore. “Whatever works!” Takeshi winked on ‘works’ and Tsuna knew that they’d had their first successful ‘code exchange.’ It felt good.

Takeshi’s presence felt better. Tsuna guiltily basked in the less-awkward warmth as they moved. “Dough for this one is done, if flavorless. Now we have to put it on the counter and hit it repeatedly.”

“Oh?” Takeshi stroked Tsuna’s hands as he took the dough and held it. Then he put it in the flour spot Tsuna indicated. “How?”

“It’s beaten biscuit, you have to beat air into it, then fold it, then do it again.” Tsuna pressed Takeshi’s hand into the flour and dough.

Then he slid under Takeshi’s arm and leaned back until Takeshi was hovered over Tsuna’s shoulder. He picked up Takeshi’s good hand and showed him how kneading dough worked. Takeshi didn’t make the fake laugh again, even though they were pretty thoroughly pressed against each other by the time they were done kneading.

Tsuna wondered if romance could be staved off by everyone involved thinking everyone else is faking.Tsuna peeled away to get the cookie cutters and Takeshi steadied himself with a hand on Tsuna’s hip.

Then Tsuna’s mom fainted and they couldn’t pretend to ignore that she was there anymore.

Tsuna casually stole and slid the ‘baking’ tape into his pocket. He then endured Reborn’s lecture about how mafia bosses always went after what they wanted with aggression and never were so pathetic as to wear ruffles or allow themselves to be filmed for blackmail as he helped his mom onto the couch. He also pretended not to notice as Reborn dove for the camera and pouted when he came up empty.

Then Reborn whipped out Leon as a camera and took photos. Tsuna responded by being super clingy with Yamamoto as he taught him how to bake Crème Brule with a flame-thrower.

Chapter Text

 Takeshi rubbed Tsuna’s back as he finished puking his vertigo into the trashcan in the nurse’s office. The fight had been hard on him. That flame stuff burned off his clothes and murdered his self-awareness and control. It hadn’t even been two minutes since then and Takeshi was outside to help as comfort while Tsuna was puking his guts out into the nearest trashcan. Takeshi shrugged off his jacket and placed it on Tsuna’s shoulders. He was colder to touch than normal. Probably used too much of that fire saving the dynamite-crazy.

After being rescued in a way that was entirely too shounen-ai for anyone’s comfort, the dynamite-crazy had declared undying devotion as subordinate, and then promptly refused to 1: call Tsuna by his requested name, 2: do anything Tsuna told him. Worse, he’d promptly dismissed Tsuna’s desires in favor of going off to fight seniors at that not-tutor-guy Reborn’s first suggestion.

Takeshi did not like this guy at all. Tsuna was too sweet to put up with that delinquent. He still hesitated too much signaling Takeshi when to back off with things.

They went to Takeshi’s dad’s restaurant and Takeshi quietly requested calming scented herbs. Then they told his dad everything. Tsuna speaking up between cute rabbit-nibbles of the ginger Dad gave him to chew.

“So yeah, how do you duck the Mafia?” Tsuna gestured with the ginger. His eyes were super wide and for a moment Takeshi thought he might do that watering-eyes-sparkles thing from class again.

Dad gently took the rest of the ginger and put it down. “With great difficulty and creativity. For example, I eloped with Takeshi-kun’s mother to a retirement village. There are rules against going after people in those places, Mafioso who live long enough to retire will protect that retirement in ways nobody wants t to see.”

“Like Namimori.” Tsuna nodded, fluffy hair bouncing with the movement. Takeshi willed himself to stop fantasizing about petting it.

Really? Since when was Namimori? So Takeshi asked, “Namimori’s an organized crime retirement village?” Takeshi leaned a bit into Tsuna’s space. He was warm again and it was strangely comforting.

Dad nodded with Tsuna this time. “For a century about. Ironically started by the man who started the Famiglia flouting those rules to get Sawada-kun now, alongside one of your mother’s ancestors and others. Unfortunately eloping alone won’t solve that problem.”

Takeshi saw Tsuna blush and tap his lip nervously. “What will?” Current quest: rescue friend.

“For an heir to a Famiglia like that? I’ll need time to consider how to help. I hope you do avoid being pulled in, for Takeshi-kun’s sake.” The last bit was clearly directed at Tsuna. At least he’d stopped signaling discomfort.

Well, they had an ally, and Dad stopped harping about elopement with that *hinthint winkwink* face. It was making Tsuna obviously uncomfortable. For an ex-mafioso his dad wasn’t precisely subtle. There was an English printout sticking out of his pocket: Is My Kid Gay? Clearly Takeshi’s grades hadn’t come in yet if Dad still thought he didn’t understand even that much English.

And no, Takeshi wasn’t ‘in the closet’ he just hadn’t concentrated on anything but Baseball for years. How do people know what their sexuality is anyway? Then Tsuna hugged him on his way out the door and he thought (hoped) he might know why Tsuna’d been so uncomfortable with certain touches as he couldn’t take his eyes off of Tsuna(‘s ass) until he was already gone.

Takeshi resolved to steal that pamphlet and check sources online.


The trope of the innocent fluffy teen struck again. Takeshi had been the one to tell Tsuna that if he didn’t react to flirty or sexual things then, well, they wouldn’t stop happening per-se but he wouldn’t have to deal with escalation which was the main thing. He pretended not to flutter slightly when Tsuna had brought him into the game by telling him what was actually going on. It was nice to get to help.

And on that note, *beleaguered sigh* Gokudera. With Reborn. Holding a ‘family entrance test.’

Tsuna not only had fingers on his lips he actually faked chewing a nail. Takeshi initial response was to begin to actually hate someone. He hadn’t felt like this since those Bastards had killed his mom.

Takeshi’s verbal response? “Hehe, like a kid’s game?” So at least Tsuna would at least know they were on the same page…

Uncomfortable and nervous and if baseball wasn’t Takeshi’s sport then knocking away all the dynamite would never have worked so well. ‘Just Survive’ indeed. That Gokudera-asshole needed to get over his jealousy issues. Tsuna had touch issues as it was, their code keeping the naturally tactile Takeshi from doing anything too uncomfortable. Tsuna had actually hugged back last time.

Takeshi used the cover of the bomb to swear really, really loud. Tsuna reacted like he heard him but he was giggling not-hysterically so Takeshi was going to call that a win, and stop swearing until after. Distraction Bad!

Takeshi was impressed with his own excellent aim when it came to catching people. Not one awkwardly placed hand. Victory! Tension leeched out of Tsuna where they touched and he grabbed Takeshi to throw them both to the ground under the last explosion. Tsuna’s aim of hands was somewhat less 'excellent'. Takeshi did his best not to purr. Tsuna’s hands felt good but the little guy was so easily embarrassed. Takeshi didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

Takeshi flipped them so he was hovering over Tsuna to protect him from the backwash of another detonation. He seemed to be glowing a bit blue and Takeshi really needed to focus on why he was suddenly glowing rather than at his cute friend in a compromising position licking his lips. Dry air, no need for elaboration, don’t stare... Nothing awkward, the game would ruin it if he tried anything...

Tsuna rolled them both to a hiding spot in the corner under smoke cover and gently flopped Takeshi off of him. Then he slapped his hands over his and Takeshi’s mouths.

Takeshi closed his mouth under Tsuna’s warm hand and tapped his arm. There was a ladder that led into the rafters. Tsuna looked up and saw it, hand still lingering on Takeshi’s mouth. Takeshi wasn’t about to complain, Tsuna was covering his own mouth too. Takeshi raised a hand to cover Tsuna’s on his mouth and then to cover his own mouth only when Tsuna let go to climb.

Survival first, disappointment or preferrably hugs later.


They’d had to rescue Lambo when the little nut interrupted the fight and got involved. Tsuna Did Not Appreciate That. Loudly. With Emphasis. Takeshi was not terribly shocked, by any of it. Cute as Tsuna was with kids he wasn’t about to let one under his power get killed in a dumb accident. Reborn was irresponsible (Big Shock) and Takeshi and Tsuna had convinced Hayato (Octopus Head) on the name-issue.

Takeshi had a dramatic brain spaz that almost took him off the school roof less than a month ago. Tsuna was a video-game/Shounen-ai protagonist with the accompanying alternation between sociopath behavior and excessive willingness to do whatever he was told. Octopus-head would fit right in if he listened to Tsuna long enough to not die stupidly. And possibly talked to Harry.

At Tsuna’s house afterwards Octopus-head continued to be loudly opinionated, especially about how 'inappropriate and presumptive [Takeshi] was with Juudaime.' Eventually Tsuna had handed Takeshi the phone with Harry’s number already dialed so clearly Takeshi hadn’t hidden his stress as well as he thought. Takeshi signaled ‘you?’ to Tsuna, who responded ‘after’ as the phone rang. Takeshi made sure he was alone in the hall while he talked to Harry. He hoped this didn't take long he didn't want Tsuna having to face those two alone.

“Yeah?” Harry answered.

“It’s Takeshi.” The phone ‘politeness reversal’ the gamers had was a game all its own.

“What do you need?” Takeshi pictured Harry fiddling with a chocolate bar as he said this.

“Got attacked for a ‘family entrance test’ today. Tsuna got brought in on it. I didn’t want to throw myself in the way of a bullet.” Takeshi sniffed.

“Not wanting to die is a good thing.” Harry soothed.

“I think I wouldn’t have jumped between Tsuna and a bullet if it had come to that. There was never an opportunity but…” Takeshi borrowed from Tsuna a bit, tapping his teeth with his fingernails.

“Are you asking me a question that the danger today didn’t?” Harry said. Calm, be as calm as Harry seems.

“Am I a good friend for Tsuna?” Takeshi rushed out. He instantly wished he could take it back. Or maybe he didn’t. It was an awful thing to ask but he needed to know and Harry was good at telling people what they needed to hear…

“You’re torn between trying the healthy things I asked you to do before and the socially valued event of dying to protect a friend?” Harry was amazing.

“Kinda?” Takeshi whispered. “It was a ‘family entrance test’ if I was being tested on such things shouldn’t I know…”

Harry did the obvious breathing thing that meant he wanted Takeshi to match it to calm down. “First thing you know is that this ‘Reborn’ is not rational.”

“He’s not.” Takeshi confirmed, he could hear the strain in his voice leaving. He hadn’t noticed it creeping up.

“The test was probably about your fighting skills then?” Deliberate lightness. Takeshi knew Harry disapproved. That was fine. Takeshi didn’t approve of Reborn either.

“Yes” Takeshi could feel his shoulders relaxing into a less pain-inducing posture.

“The things I need you to take away from this, for your health and for Tsuna’s, is , to start, that your first thought after the fight was about whether you were a good enough friend. Continually trying to be a better friend will serve the both of you very well.”

“Anything else?” Takeshi’d had his shoulders pinched too long. He rolled them as he awaited the response.

“Despite Hollywood’s interpretation, human shields are surprisingly penetrable and all you’re going to get for jumping in front of a bullet is both of you killed.” Gentle amusement.

Takeshi smiled. “That’s a lot more comforting.” Takeshi finished relaxing. “Learn to recognize and take third options. That I can do. Tsuna wants to speak to you as well Shishou-Sensei.”

“Last things, then I’ll talk to Tsuna.” Harry said, “Everything someone sees or does or says is interpreted relative to what is known about them. I was raised to think being a human shield was my purpose in life, a glorious purpose handed down from my parents. My friends know that I’d die for anyone, even a stranger or certain enemies, so any self-sacrifice from me is relatively worthless. They know I love them because I fight to get back to them. I’d die for anyone because I was conditioned to do so. I live for my friends because I love them. It’s not healthy per-se, I’ve been told I should live for myself, but it keeps me alive when everything in my head from childhood is telling me ‘Game over, it’s time to Log Out.’”

“Thanks.” Takeshi blinked away a tear of relief. The only living for certain people thing seemed a bit like he’d been before Tsuna’s friendship, only living for the one thing; Baseball. Now Takeshi lived for Baseball and watching Baseball and Tsuna and Dad, not in that order, with the possibility of more things and people. He hoped he was as good a friend for Tsuna as Tsuna was for him.

He handed over the phone and paused guiltily as he lingered over the brush of their hands during the exchange. He might love Tsuna as something other than a friend. It was looking distinctly that way. He hoped Tsuna felt the same way.

Takeshi sighed and resigned himself to the next few, probably years, without even asking or confessing. He cringed. Tsuna wouldn’t date until the chances of the game turning his love-life to comedy were gone. An epilogue maybe. Takeshi had never hated a game of any kind before. He didn’t like the feeling.

Takeshi watched Hayato and Reborn carefully as he guarded Tsuna from any unwanted pressure he could. He thought back to the first time Tsuna had invited him over, their mutual discomfort about Octopus-head, and that pamphlet’s questions. Turned out being an ambidextrous baseball player had never been so apropos.

Takeshi Swung Both Ways.

He’d save that pun for slipping as a note to Tsuna.

Chapter Text

Hayato snorted at the people freaking out about how much of a ‘delinquent’ he was. Really, you wear one chain as a style and secondary weapon in this town and suddenly you’re a horrible monster rebel who should be kept away from children. He hadn’t even smoked in front of people!

 Juu-Boss, he wants Hayato to call him boss, cringed away from him sometimes but not because of his style. Boss’ clothing when not in school uniform was less standard than Hayato’s. (Manicure painted nails and heels that somehow went unnoticed plus a well-used waxing kit that Boss’ Mom’s fuzzy legs clearly never saw.)

Juu-no Boss, don’t lose out to the dumbass civilian, Smoking-Bomb. That Baseball-Freak was way too close. Boss liked him though, why? Baseball-head wanting to be with Boss was understandable; cute guy with the power to rescue you. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with that? Especially when Tsuna wore the heels with shorts that did things to his legs…Yeah, Hayato was looking, but he was not staring. He had the self-control. Baseball-idiot looked too!

Reborn didn’t look. It was almost like Reborn couldn’t see…but of course Reborn saw, he was the World’s Greatest Hitman. No need to bring it up at all.

Boss’ conversation with whoever the guy on the phone was took a long time. Hayato listened to Reborn’s talk about being a hitman but wondered for one almost-blasphemous moment whether being like a hitman would actually help any of them. They were going to lead a Mafia Famiglia, why was Reborn so stuck on flames? Shouldn’t they have something like teamwork to work on? Leadership?

Hayato couldn’t help but notice Reborn’s aim during the entrance test leaning more toward Boss than Baseball-Freak. It wouldn’t have stuck in his mind but he’d declared himself for Boss and it was looking more and more like there was a disconnect between Boss’ orders and Reborn’s instructions. Reborn might have called him here but Boss was distant with Hayato but close to Baseball-head…

Any thoughts or considerations were promptly knocked out of him by the appearance of his sister.


He woke to a loud argument. Not the usual kind, angry adults looking to hurt someone after a frustrating day. Boss was arguing with Reborn.

“If you so much as DARE suggest to me that a Mafia Boss lets people who injure their subordinates stay in their personal space? Then I’m taking Hayato and we’re moving in with Takeshi. I’m not having that…that…HEALTH HAZARD in my house! I don’t care if you were lovers or friends or knew each other in the trenches of a war! You saw my reflexes compared to hers just now. She will leave or I will, and if she follows she will die.” Tsuna looked radiant defending Hayato. Even, or maybe especially in the heels and booty-shorts.

Strong too. Tsuna picked Hayato up alone and then dragged him and Baseball-idiot out the door, skirting the fumes of Bianchi’s last attack so nobody puked. Why would Reborn want Bianchi to stay in Boss’ house? At a distance sure, poisons were useful. Hayato just couldn’t fathom why Reborn thought it was a good idea to let her near his food.

 “I’m not taking that lying down, Reborn or no Reborn.” Boss sped up walking. “Soon as I can hack it, either she’s going to leave or I am.” It was kind of shocking still, being defended.

Was it for Hayato? How had Hayato earned it? What did he need to do to keep it? “You don’t have to do that for me Juudaime!” Hayato panted slightly as he tried to keep up with Boss. The heels turning an intense walk-it-off motion into what Bianchi had so long failed to achieve but referred to as ‘Murder Strut.’ Two steps behind boss gave Hayato an excellent view though, and Baseball-nut wasn’t keeping up either.

“Ha-ha, you pass out in her presence.” Baseball-idiot pointed out the obvious while panting out his usual laugh. “That’s really bad. You weren’t playing were you?” How dare he? Why does he think this is all a game still? What is wrong with Baseball-Freak’s worldview?

Boss stopped suddenly. At least Baseball-idiot was with Hayato as they bumped into him. Boss stepped forward once more (or was it a stumble?) and whipped around with his eyes narrowed at them, a picture of power. “He wasn’t playing, and I’m not doing this exclusively for you.” Not exclusively meant it was a little bit for Hayato and Hayato was about to pass out from pleasure for once.

 “I don’t want you passing out like that and I really don’t want her to poison the rest of us to that extent either.” Boss seemed a bit distracted as he seemed to hide them all, including himself, from a white-haired older boy passing by. The guy, in the two seconds Hayato could see him, was more obnoxiously loud than Baseball-idiot’s most irritating laugh combined with Bianchi’s shrieking rants about love. Hayato took a moment to be impressed by at least his speed, and managing to shout the whole way as well.


Reborn poisoned Boss.

Reborn had a costume from Bianchi that he’d used to poison Boss.

It was deliberate.

Reborn had tried to set them up to be caught trespassing by the school’s prefect.

Baseball-Head, who Hayato had thought wasn’t smart enough to be scared of anything, was scared of said prefect.

Said prefect casually removed all of Hayato’s bombs in an instant, completely unseen.

Said prefect apparently could have had Hayato’s head off if Baseball-head hadn’t warned him.

Said prefect might have killed them anyway if Boss didn’t have a rapport with him.

Said prefect, apparently named Hibari, called Boss ‘Little Animal.’

Hibari petted Tsuna.

Boss was unusually permissive of inappropriate closeness again, but even Baseball-head hadn’t said or done such…things.

“Hn. I keep the peace. Don’t test me Herbivore.” Hibari’s explanation.

Peace? Mafia wasn’t peacefu…School. This was a school. Not a mafia school it was a normal school a civilian school and Boss and Baseball-head fit in but nothing here made sense to Hayato and people stared at even the deviation of long hair and chain jewelry and Hayato had made bad assumptions.

Civilians are different. Boss used to be a civilian. The entire premise of Hayato’s approach was off. Why this was hitting him now…

When Boss woke up Hayato would need to ask for a course on what Boss considered normal.

This was going to be hard.


Hayato didn’t have the opportunity to talk with Tsuna away from Reborn for a while.

First he was called over to overhear a conversation between Boss and ‘Bucking Bronco’

 “I didn’t say ‘I don’t want to be the Vongola Boss’ and mean ‘it’s too much responsibility.’ I said ‘I don’t want to be a Mafia Boss’ and meant that I have never met a Mafioso I liked. I don’t want to be like you, behavior wise.”

“You don’t like me little brother?”

“A man allied to the Famiglia which has endangered your friends arrives. His men threaten the children in your care. He enters your private space uninvited, alters it without permission, and when you arrive to find all this has occurred he proceeds to insult you at length. Would you like that guy? Seriously, you have no right to call me ‘little brother’.”

Then he had to acknowledge that he didn’t know anything at all about Boss when he was ‘kidnapped’ by Cavallone in a loyalty test.

Takeshi casually reached out and grabbed Hayato’s arm to stop him from running after the car. “Haha, Countdown Hibari-san?”

“Hn,” Hibari smirked. “Five. Four. Three. Two. One…”

 “Whoa!” Cavallone gasped, before turning “Don’t any of you care about your boss?”

ZERO!” Takeshi chimed in.

“That was tedious.” Tsuna said.

But he did find out that he had a chance.

“Hayato is new but Takeshi knows I can escape a car kidnapping in ten seconds. If I’m drugged then he’ll know when I’m not back when expected.” Boss said. ‘Hayato is new,’ implying that he could stay to learn. It gave him enough relief to finish untensing after that dirty trick from Reborn and Cavallone.

“And we’ve dealt with the peach idiots. They’d never be stupid enough to try something in front of Hibari-Kun!” Takeshi smiled, “So we knew you were lying.”

“They’re actually a yakuza group?!” Cavallone gasped.

They all stared at him for a solid minute. Had Reborn not researched or had he endangered a mafia boss who was also a student. There was no good answer here. Hayato shifted to get closer to Boss.

“You didn’t check if your ‘fictional’ yakuza were actually fictional?” Hayato’s eyebrows furrowed. Would he have to protect Boss from his own mafia-tutor?

“Well Reborn said…” and the last nail slams into the coffin. Everyone believed in Reborn the way Hayato did. Hayato would have to work with Baseball-…guy… to protect Boss from the most dangerous known person on earth.

“Haha, you may need to start questioning the things he tells you. He doesn’t play fair.” Baseball…Takeshi, said. It was sounding more and more like code…

“Hn,” Hibari snorted, “Carnivore does not protect what’s his.”

Well that last from the prefect was almost definitely code. Shit. How do you protect your boss from his own tutor? Especially when that tutor has the kind of power available to Reborn?

And, thinking on his own behavior and Boss’ reactions with a wince, how would Hayato convince Boss he was trustworthy?


Not on Mafia Land.


That ended badly.

Never to be spoken of again.


Then an opportunity.

Fuuta de la Stella had lost book pages. Hayato found and collected several of the loose papers before other Mafioso from that family could find them. Then he stole a few they had already taken. One of those pages mentioned Boss;

Sawada Tsunayoshi: #4 at manipulating Gaia’s Game for his own purposes.

What was Gaia’s Game? Hayato knew if he gave this to Boss he might never find out, but if he researched it alone he might do something that would hurt Boss. So he handed over the papers covertly and told Boss he’d seen his name on one. Then he didn’t ask about Gaia’s Game, didn’t even let himself consider what it might be. He'd pledged himself to Boss. He wouldn't betray him.


“You didn’t trust me.” Hayato nodded. “Understandable, I was working for Reborn. Everyone in the mafia is afraid of him. At minimum. Doing him favors gets you brownie points with the Famigliae. Not doing whatever he asks tends to get you dead. I’d risk that sneaking around him for you.”

“The thing everyone's missing is that I’m not Mafia even slightly. The rules don't make sense to me. I don't know anything about Vongola. And after what Nono and Father did to me. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass if the entire Ninth Generation Vongola died on the spot. Clearly this ‘Nono’ never heard about the dangers of giving power to people with EVERY REASON TO HATE YOU AND WANT YOU DEAD! I don’t get what his deal is?” Tsuna spoke with an intensity that implied he wished he could raise his voice.

“Or Reborn’s here to make you a puppet leader.” Hayato hated to bring it up but as Boss had asked and it was definitely possible… “I think they all just forgot you have no loyalties to the Vongola though. I heard stories about you from Iemitsu and he’s such a narcissist everyone gets the idea you’re an extension of him, but as he sees himself. I didn’t even work for Vongola when I heard them!”

"The Actual Fuck?"

The conversation went on much like that until Tsuna volunteered the information on Gaia’s Game.

“Basically, you’re a UMA. A Video-Game Protagonist. Ma-Gi-Cal.” Hayato went limp on the couch. “Holy Shit!”

“Ha! Pretty much.” Takeshi, just Takeshi now mostly, plucked up a cookie. (Boss baked. Boss was Magic. Hayato’s mind was totally blown.)

“Very few of us tell anyone.” Boss dipped his own cookie in milk. “To start with its near-unbelievable and to end with, as protagonists it’s hard to tell when the game is going to mess with your relationships.”

“The other gamers are great emotional support.” Takeshi’s smile was a lot subtler than usual. Realer.

They talked through the night, codes they shared that were different for each of them and Hayato needing one and what Hayato would choose, until Boss was so tired he flopped over and fell asleep on them both. Hayato stared in awe at Boss’ head on his lap and gently started petting his hair. Takeshi quieted his usual laugh and tugged them all into place, stretched out on the futon and sleepy. Hayato was barely tired enough himself to sleep so close to others. Tsuna especially was warm with flames and welcome.

Reborn splashed them all awake the next morning with a bucket of Dirty water. It couldn’t ruin their moment but Hayato picked up on and carried the resentment he now shared with Takeshi and Boss.

He picked flicking at his cigarette box as his main signal last night. Code established, it was time to subvert a worldwide Narrative and the most dangerous hitman the mafia had to offer.

Hayato smiled as they started to plot revenge on Reborn.

Chapter Text

Kyouya shrugged off his coat at the end of a satisfying day. Interesting as well. A middle-schooler he’d taken for an herbivore had successfully dodged and evaded the crowding herbivores (pretending to be carnivores) at the school entrance. Then he’d disappeared from Kyouya’s sight completely.

Kyouya saw him again during his patrol two hours later. The not-herbivore had successfully taken down a foreign-fake-carnivore and left him beaten in the dust. Kyouya wondered why the not-herbivore wasn’t part of the disciplinary committee.

The foreign-fake-carnivore was far more dangerous than the committee could usually handle. The not-herbivore was better. Maybe Kyouya could recruit him? Perhaps, considering, it was an appearances thing? He didn’t want to wear that stupid hair-cut Kusakabe had made uniform? That would make sense. Kyouya hated the feel of it too.

“Kyou-Chan!” Mother squealed. “Come see!” Breaking his train of thought.

His mother wanted something, what had she said? Had he waited too long to respond?

“Come on Kyo~” She took his hand, it wasn’t awful today, and pulled him over to… “It’s so Cu~ute!” …Look at a picture of two people around his own age putting their mouths together…-kissing-… while each sat on a swing from a swing set. They were also holding hands. “Young love is so cute!”

Cute, a descriptor implying that one wanted to cuddle, love, and protect the labeled in question. Cute, like small animals, like that not-herbivore boy with the fluffy hair resembling startled birds. Cute like nobody had called Kyouya since he’d entered middle school. Kyouya drummed his fingers on his tonfa grips.

Now Mother only called him things like ‘handsome’ and ‘grown up’ and such. Implying distance and independence according to Kusakabe. The herbivores just called him scary. They always had. It meant he didn’t have to crowd and deal with that awful pushy itch that came from having an uninvited herbivore in his air.

The fluffy-not-herbivore was cute. He also wasn’t scared of Kyouya. People in those relationships Mother showed him on TV called each other cute. Maybe his mother would call him cute again if he had a romantic relationship…How do you have a romantic relationship though?

“Aw~ First you find somebody you like, then you ask them to do fun things together for a bit to see if you like the same things, then you confess you like them preferably with a gift like flowers and if they say they like you back the same way you decide together what to do next!”

Apparently he said that last question out loud. His mother was the person to ask though, given all the romances she read and watched, so probably she was right. Hopefully he could help the fluffy-not-herbivore with the next foreign-fake-carnivore. Or maybe he could ask to spar or something. What else might another young carnivore like to do together? His mother had done a lot more than two things with his father as their courtship.

His name was Tsuna, the fluffy-maybe-carnivore. The first time they’d really met Kyouya had rescued him from bullies in elementary school and he’d said ‘thank you’. More recently a prissy-herbivore dragged them both to a student council meeting where the fluffy-maybe-carnivore listened to Kyouya’s complaints and made a point about dress-codes being too easy to deviate from. It came to a vote and the dress code was relaxed afterwards.

After two days where people experimented like they’d lost their minds things settled to a point where Kyouya was able to look at a crowd of people and not want to scratch his eyes out from noticing a single deviation in an otherwise perfectly matching throng. It was a pity the fluffy-maybe-carnivore was so good at sneaking around that Kyouya almost never saw him.

Today, Kyouya did find him, and neither of them were in a hurry for once. Fluffy-maybe-carnivore was having to deal with a crowd of foreign-fake-carnivores today. Kyouya whacked one that got too close to damaging a house and made an offering gesture with them on the end of a tonfa.

Fluffy-definitely-carnivore had knocked out two more almost casually before responding. “Come on in, there’s problems a-plenty!”

“Hn.” Kyouya purred as he moved so they were fighting back-to-back. Every move either made perfectly complementing the other’s strike or block. One foreign-fake-carnivore clipped the fluffy-carnivore’s hair and Kyouya took very real pleasure in kicking him an extra two times. Fluffy-carnivore was warm behind him and when the fight was over Kyouya wanted nothing more than to curl up and cuddle.

He closed his eyes and kissed the fluffy-carnivore, on the lips, with tongue. (That last was an accident) It was nice. Kyouya opened his eyes again. Fluffy-carnivore had tilted his head slightly and was licking his lips. They both seemed to take a moment to evaluate the moment.

“That was nice. What was your point though?” Fluffy-carnivore blinked at him rapidly.

Kyouya said. “Mother has been hinting that this age is appropriate for romantic relationships.” He fiddled with his tonfa, suddenly this whole enterprise seemed less certain.

Fluffy-carnivore paused a moment before replying. “I enjoy your company but I’m not ready for a romantic relationship and likely won’t be for some time.”

“Does that mean anything other than literally?” Kyouya hated having to ask that but it got the best results. People were so confusing!

Fluffy-carnivore seemed to think for a minute. “It was literal. I would like to be friends for a while before I decide if I want a romantic relationship at all. Are you actually ready for one? Do you want one?” He slowly laid a hand on Kyouya’s arm. “Parental pressure or no, you probably shouldn’t date someone because someone else says you should. Lots of kids at school wind up crying that way.”

“Hn.” Kyouya hadn’t even considered that. Was he ready? Thinking on it, while he did receive the appropriate symptoms for a crush when considering Fluffy-carnivore, he did not like the idea of attempting to be romantic. It would be even harder since he didn’t know much about Fluffy-carnivore. “No.” Kyouya confirmed. “Friends?”

“Spending time together with the expectation of mutual support during mutual interests. I would like to have that with you.” Fluffy-carnivore clarified without being prompted this time. Kyouya needed a better form of address for the other boy than Fluffy-carnivore.

“Friends, Little Animal.” Kyouya agreed and nodded. That worked.

Even if they wouldn’t be romantic for years if ever Kyouya reflexively smiled a bit when Little Animal beamed at him.


He needed to talk with his Father about his and Mother’s expectations. He visited his father at the police station.

“Does it bother you?” Kyouya asked as soon as he saw his father was alone.

“Does what bother me?” Father put down his paperwork and rubbed his eyes.

Kyouya scrambled for the right words. “I’m different. I know I’m different. You and Mother complain sometimes. Because I’m not normal.”

“You should stop breaking rules and laws…” His father paused to stare at Kyouya. It took him a long time. Kyouya wasn’t good at timing but his father was usually faster than this. “As your father, I don’t want you to get hurt, Kyouya-kun. Hurt usually comes from people’s reactions to breaking rules or acting outside of so-called ‘normal’ behavior. You can defend yourself against the second one so how you deviate is up to you. I don’t like the idea of having to punish you for the first because it's my job. That’s what I complain about.” He gently took Kyouya’s hand, “What brought this on?”

“Mother was cooing over a romantic couple my age. Then a Little-Carnivore from school said he’d rather be friends because some people don’t want romantic things until later.” Kyouya informed him.

“Your mother has questionable hobbies. The unrealistic behavior and lack of real consequences is why even the least magical romances are called ‘fantasy.’” His father did that smile that usually came with wrestling a smoking pan away from Kyouya’s uncle when he tried to cook. “I want to meet the kid you consider good enough to be a ‘carnivore.’”

“Hn.” Kyouya hummed. He was tired. No amount of endurance training would let him hold long conversations.

His father got up and hugged Kyouya. His shirt itched slightly. Kyouya twitched. His father let him lay out on the office futon. “I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to change who you are.”

“Hn.” Kyouya curled up and nodded off.


The next week he met up with Little Animal again. Little Animal taught Kyouya his fidgets for discomfort with a situation and Kyouya pointed out how to tell if Kyouya was making discomfort-fidgets as well. Little Animal picked up on it very quickly and within a couple weeks they were able to exist within each other’s spheres without issue.

They weren’t obvious friends. For one thing, Kyouya almost never talked to begin with and Kusakabe was still his best friend. He didn’t see Little Animal as often. They did not visit each other’s houses. They didn’t really go anywhere together. Their personal bubbles occasionally intersected and sometimes they would go fight foreign-fake-carnivores.

Something intangible was different about Kyouya’s relationship with Little Animal. Not just that they only saw each other on alternate days but Kyouya often found himself wondering about that possible-future where he might get to kiss the Little Animal again.

It was a nice thought. Kyouya returned to it often.

The appearance and semi-hostile takeover of Little Animal’s life by the foreign-Real-carnivore was not welcome. For a supposed tutor he was unwilling to teach, unhelpful, belligerent, more of a danger to his student than the things he supposedly protected from, and completely blind.

Seriously. Kyouya and Little Animal had gone on hunts together several times since his appearance and still the foreign-carnivore thought they were strangers. He even thought that Baseball-almost-carnivore was a harmless idiot who didn’t know better than to trespass in the DC classroom.

He brought a foreign-loud-herbivore. The frustration sent the Baseball-almost-carnivore hunting with them. His attacks were very creative. He fit the dynamic Little Animal created. Kyouya had taken to calling him Crocodile. That bland smile was getting to be frightening.

Then there were children. Little Animal was perfect with them. With the holding and the nuzzling and the sudden willingness to be closer to other people. Kyouya lost coherency every time he saw it. Being brought in on Crocodile and Little Animal’s ‘flirting practice’ just made it all more intense.

Kyouya was a weird kid and a late bloomer. He’d heard every embarrassing story about puberty from the others and it was worse than the descriptions. He’d never blushed so hard in front of his parents. The adorable and motherly qualities to Little Animal compounded on his childhood appreciation to give Kyouya his first wet-dream.

They’d found out that romance was an option between more than just a pair. Little Animal was certainly loving enough to have more people. Crocodile wasn’t a problem, very respectable in fact. Loud-Herbivore wanted in and finally stopped taking orders from foreign-carnivore. They just needed to get rid of it.

He finally met Little Animal’s mother. She tried too hard. Parenting wasn’t natural to her the way it was to Little Animal. They ignored her in favor of kitten-piling on the floor. Little Animal found interesting information about social deviations and ‘kinks.’ Some of them were reminiscent of Kyouya’s recent dreams of Little Animal.

They agreed to experiment for fun. They started with clothing. Kyouya pointed out that the school uniform wasn’t necessarily gender-specific. People assumed it was a lot. Crocodile admitted that his pectorals and biceps had sized from baseball in such a way that he had to use the ‘girl’s vest.’

Loud-Herbivore agreed excitedly to wear as much jewelry as the code allowed. Crocodile said he’d try the skirt for a day (Baseball shorts underneath) with ‘natural’ makeup to see if anyone noticed the latter at all past the obvious deviation. Little Animal agreed to switch to the female-directed uniform for the week; “Full cross-dress. I want to see if I can make people question my actual gender.”

Little Animal was acquainted with a girl’s school’s student ‘Miura Haru.’ She was friends with Namimori school idol Kyoko. None of them liked her but she was very available to outfit them. Little Animal did all their makeup. Kyouya agreed to lipstick and eyeliner, then to ‘convince’ the teachers not to react at all. The next day they got together earlier than even the foreign-carnivore was awake to get dressed.

Seeing Little Animal wake up, Kyouya finally understood the reason for all of the odd descriptions in his mother’s books.  The ‘beautiful inner fire’ Little Animal glowed with was a bit more literal but still amazing.

The mischievous grin and the ‘murder strut’* were the best part though.

Even if Kyouya needed to re-learn to keep his gaze above Tsuna’s waist let alone his shoulders.

Chapter Text



The thing about accidentally acquiring young children was that they were exhausting. Technically all they needed was love, affirmation, that sort of thing but they needed it all of the time! Tsuna still had his own boundaries to work out. Between that and Reborn, Tsuna didn’t have the time for kids.

But Tsuna refused to be the kind of person who hurt or neglected kids, so, in a stunning display of schedule and child wrangling all while heavily manipulating his own mother, he had Lambo, Fuuta, and I-Pin behaving themselves inside of a month. Explaining the concepts of ‘rules’ and ‘boundaries’ to a rebellious four-year-old was hard. Enduring the sheer weight of JUDGEMENT from the neighbors as his teenage-boy-self shopped for the necessary things for I-Pin, a little girl, was awful.

Breaking Fuuta of his blackmail habit?

Tsuna could work some hefty miracles as a Gamer, but that was not one of them. He settled for impressing the dire nature of some secrets ever seeing the light of day. (On a nine-year-old, great Gaia.) Then he helped Fuuta burn the book and praised Gaia for the Game’s self-protection in terms of the Ranking Planet, whatever that was.

Having very little shame to start with helped.

Tsuna reveled in his accomplishments as his special clothing order arrived. Turned out Miura was good for something after all. He opened the back of his closet into its ‘wizard space’ (Harry’d taken great delight in teaching everyone that spell) and stepped into the walk-in closet that didn’t actually fit there.

Tsuna didn’t generally think about his clothes, perks of a school with a uniform, but if he was going to keep manipulating and confusing people then clothes were the way to go. Hayato had responded beautifully to the short-shorts. (Teddy’s actually, Tsuna’d forgotten he had those)

More importantly, the four of them, Tsuna, Takeshi, Hayato, and Kyouya, were getting ready for a day when they were going to start experimenting. Kyouya had shown them the limits of the rules and then messaged the adults at school not to react to the incoming diversion. This was going to be so fun!

“Little Animal.” Kyouya perked up. “Quickly.” Kyouya had Disciplinary Committee so he needed to go first.

“Gotcha,” Tsuna slid out his makeup tray and dipped the purple eyeliner pencil into the disinfectant before sharpening and applying it. If Kyouya looked like an evil cat before, then this just made it much worse. Tsuna finished, disinfected, and capped the pencil before reaching for the lipsticks. “Purple or Black?”

“Hn, you have white?”

“Ooh!” Tsuna grinned as he pulled out the white. He outlined Kyouya’s lips sharply then painted them, all while showing Kyouya how. He brushed Kyouya’s hair as well. It didn’t change how it looked but Kyouya stopped trying to play with his makeup in favor of purring at the touch.

Kyouya picked up Tsuna’s hand and kissed it, leaving a clear mark. Then he pocketed the lip-paint and left for school. Tsuna wondered if perhaps this was a bit too romantic before deciding that since there was a joke that had a victim that wasn’t him or his friends involved it didn’t matter. Ship-Teasing all the way!


Kyouya’s mother had used makeup on his face before so Kyouya thought he knew what he had to endure. Alternating touches of too hard or tickling always leaving behind some itchy spots and some greasy ones. Altogether nearly unbearable but Kyouya was willing to do worse for a friend-possibly-romantic then that. He was definitely picking his own colors though.

Little Animal was really good with makeup, better than Mother. He had a smooth touch that Kyouya appreciated. The eyeliner didn’t feel at all after it was on. The lipstick was a little greasy at first but Kyouya simply kissed the back of Little Animal’s hand and it was much better. Little Animal smiled, so that must have been all right.

Kyouya noticed that Little Animal didn’t rub off the mark he had left and thought this must be that ‘possessive joy’ Mother talked about when she mentioned marking Father. It felt lovely. He’d left a mark on Little Animal denoting his presence and Little Animal accepted and kept it. Even if it wore off during the day, Kyouya kept the lipstick-tube to reapply them. Little Animal smiled while applying the makeup. Was that Little Animal’s mark? Kyouya hoped so.

He walked out of the strange closet-room. Crocodile and Loud-Herbivore were still asleep. After walking downstairs Kyouya lifted Baby-Carnivore into her seat as Little Animal did the same for Wild-Herbivore and pulled out another chair for Bait. Then Little Animal came around and patted Kyouya’s hand and I-Pin’s hair before handing her a pair of goggle-glasses. They were far less likely to be lost or broken.

Kyouya enjoyed the breakfast Little-Animal’s Herd-Herbivore of a mother created. Her dead stare was disturbing but she was at least a good cook. She managed a breakfast-meal with hamburger steak. Little Animal often had to distract her before she rewarded bad behavior in the potential-future-carnivores.

Little Animal’s firm control of the wild and chaotic potential-future-carnivores was deeply impressive. Kyouya wanted to kiss him again but they were still waiting until romantic relations were viable options for them… and Kyouya didn’t want to mess up the makeup Little Animal had done. Replacing the sensation of gentle, steady, kind hands with his own attempts was an undesirable outcome.

Kusakabe acquitted himself of his initial stuttering and distraction with his control of the Disciplinary Committee. Kyouya’s patrols were unbothered. A man attempting to harass a shopkeeper (Kyouya checked. She recognized him and agreed to press charges) was so distracted by the makeup that he utterly failed to damage his surroundings while being taken in. After that was corralling the teachers.

The teachers’ questions were easier to answer when Little Animal had given him a list of ‘right’ answers for each teacher. Different ones had different problems apparently. Most of the male teachers would accept the premise that they’d all done this on a dare or bet of some kind. Most of the female ones thought their ‘experimentation’ was cute and everyone who didn’t accept one of those (Only two) shut up instantly when Kyouya pointed out there was no rule against it and waved a tonfa in their faces.

He saw the other members of Little Animal’s pride over the course of the day. Crocodile looked even more dangerous than usual in a skirt-and-vest tailored outfit. Loud-Herbivore jingled and glittered when he moved and Little Animal…

Little Animal looked Beautiful.


Takeshi woke up the first morning of their Fuck With Reborn Etc. Party Game and grinned. He silently dodged all the traps in Tsuna’s room to sneak into the Closet-Tardis-Room. He giggled at the little kids playing with Tsuna’s old non-toxic face-painting kit. They had splashes of color all over their faces and in their hair. That was going to be hard to clean afterwards. No way was Nana going to do that.

Takeshi suddenly had a mental picture of Tsuna, just a bit messy in a wet white shirt cooing over the kids in the bath. It was so sweet and pretty…Takeshi then flushed and drummed his fingers, looking for something to occupy his hands.

Tsuna knelt down in front of him and he wrestled his blush into submission.

“So, what do we have first?” Takeshi peeked at the box.

Tsuna grinned. “Miura Haru has no listening skills except when it comes to fashion and fetish. She agreed to pay for it all as well as get us the clothes if we took pictures. I’m actually filming and I’ll save the best frames so you can pick whatever you want her to have after school. Meanwhile,” Tsuna pulled out what looked like a normal school uniform with an extra set of baseball shorts. “Clothes.”

Takeshi slid the shorts, shirt, and vest on, constantly aware that Tsuna was watching. “Um, how does the skirt…” He was beet red by the time he had to ask.

“Very Simply.” Tsuna reassured him. Then Tsuna laid out the skirt and Takeshi stepped in the center. Tsuna’s hands were as warm and tingly as usual as he slid the skirt up Takeshi’s legs and over his hips, resting for a moment longer to hold it there. Then he showed Takeshi how to zip the back up and turn it. Takeshi somehow felt less dressed than when it had just been the baseball shorts.

He kneeled again, almost instinctually fluffing the skirt so it wouldn’t get caught, and faced Tsuna, licking his lips nervously as he waited for the makeup bit. Tsuna smiled and got to work, only occasionally giving direction. They listened to Youtube videos and makeup tutorials while Tsuna worked.

“Look up, just the eyes, now the whole face…”

“Eyes closed, I don’t want to blind you here.”

They both had to pause and break down laughing as one video had no instructions, just a woman ranting about makeup. “If they find out we can shapeshift they’ll tell the church!” causing both of the boys to break down in giggles that would have given most mafia men a coronary.

“Well?” Tsuna held up a mirror for Takeshi. “How’d I do?”

Takeshi stared then walked over to the full-length mirror to spin a bit. “I feel pretty. And I look like an anime villain saw a decent stylist…Ha.ha.ha!” He put a hand to his chest and rolled his shoulders. It wasn’t entirely play-acting. He looked good, really good. Even with longer hair… wait…“Are those extensions?”

“Yeah?” Tsuna still looked a bit too nervous.

“Gorgeous. When did you have the time to do those?”

“When I was brushing your hair. I’ve gotten quite good at them.”


Hayato about bit his tongue off trying not to yell at the brats. Boss was adorable looking after them but Hayato himself couldn’t stand small children. Unfortunately, he was also the only one Boss trusted not to melt and give them all candy. Reborn had also told all his embarrassing secrets to all and sundry so the oldest brat couldn’t really blackmail him, putting him a couple steps over everyone else when it came to dealing with him.

It was nice to be trusted though, so if dealing with the kids in the morning was the worst chore boss gave him then things were definitely looking up. Hayato dropped them off at school and rushed back. Boss would be done with Baseball idiot by now and Hayato wanted to see…

Hayato stared as what could only be Baseball-crazy flounced…fucking flounced! ... out the door and downstairs. Hayato stopped and stared as what he could only describe as ‘You may now question your sexuality’ incarnate danced around the kitchen making eggs from the recipe Boss had taught them both.

After a couple seconds Hayato caught himself, rubbed the image out of his eyes, and tiptoed upstairs for his turn. Somehow Reborn was still asleep. (Did Boss gas him?) Hayato edged around the traps and dove into the little secret room of UMA level awesome he’d finally been good enough to get into. Or, well, loyal enough, same thing really.

Boss was sitting there, smiling, wearing an artsy color-splattered getup with an apron, and dusted with makeup powder. He was holding a hairbrush. “Ready?”

“Mm K, Boss.” Hayato shivered as Boss started to brush his hair. It caught on a few tangles and tugged but mostly it was tingly smooth bliss. Boss was managing this with one hand as he painted on Hayato’s face with the other, taking advantage of how Hayato’s eyes had closed and his face had gone smooth in bliss.

Hayato recognized the mascara brush vaguely as Boss basically hypnotized him into blinking slowly onto it. Hayato hummed in pleasure as Boss kept on. He must have got a bit loud at one point because Boss actually stopped with a hand over Hayato’s mouth for a couple seconds to let Reborn leave the room without catching them.

Boss pulled his hand away and painted Hayato’s lips with a black chapstick lipstick on the top and a blood-red normal lipstick on the bottom. Hayato saw in a mirror, he looked like a punk nightmare some suburban norm-obsessive might have. He had actual winged eyeliner, the mascara was perfectly applied, and the only thing missing was the creepy paleness he and Boss had both nixed in the discussion phase.

Boss scooted around behind Hayato and fluffed his hair so they could see in the mirror. Hayato smiled widely, careful of the lip-paints, and said, “Perfect.”

“Almost.” Boss replied with a smile straight from a kitsune or some shit.

“What’s missi…”Hayato gaped as Boss reached around his neck and placed something there. It was a red-nearing-orange choker with a black cloud decal that itself had a scraggly lightning cutout. Hayato shivered as Boss’s hands closed the clasp in the back. It looked a bit like a collar.

“Clothes and other jewelry are in the box, same decal as this.” Boss whispered into his ear and stroked Hayato’s neck. “Change in the bathroom while I get my stuff on?”

Hayato nodded, brain melted into sentimental goo over the collar-style choker, a type of belonging he hadn’t thought Boss or anyone knew he wanted. He got up and grabbed the box on his way to the bathroom. Boss had also taken his ‘no-skirts’ request. He was going to look like hot stuff today.

And possibly jingle, he acknowledged, looking down at the tangle of silver jewelry that perfectly matched his hair and choker.

Chapter Text


Crocodile and Puppy (Re-named now that he was less of an herbivore) were surprisingly helpful on the topic of explaining social norms vs acceptable social behaviors. Crocodile was particularly helpful on the ‘flirting’ topic and Little Animal’s warning signs. Loud-Animal was paying attention as well.

With something specific to recognize and a new vocabulary of a literal ‘body language’ which they all shared now, Kyouya was far more able to relax in the presence of Little Animal’s Pride. It also explained what Kyouya now knew to be ‘teasing.’

They lounged in Tsuna’s room in a sleepy pile after lunch and Little Animal had the tendency to sprawl on all of them, touching each somehow. His head was in Kyouya’s lap with his legs in Crocodile’s and holding Puppy’s hand. Hands, apparently Puppy was making himself useful as a manicurist.

Kyouya trailed his fingers over Little Animal. Relaxed like this he was particularly lovely. The proximity was warm and satisfying, even if they couldn’t do much with their attraction yet. However it was fine as none of them was without a blush. Kyouya repaid the frustration by petting Little Animal and Just Barely missing inappropriate areas.

They were both purring as Kyouya traced Little Animal’s collarbone under his shirt and Little Animal rubbed against Kyouya’s legs. Kyouya flushed and was so distracted he almost didn’t notice when Crocodile and Puppy starting to do the same.

If this was a kind of fighting, Little Animal was cheating. He reached up with a hand, the dry one, and dragged the nails across Kyouya’s abs, not hard enough to actually scratch but wonderful feeling. It was like fighting and cuddling all at once.

Kyouya felt his cheeks continue to burn and wondered…


Hayato hyperventilated a little when Baseball-head suggested it. Granted, doing other people’s nails was actually easier than doing your own but still, to serve Boss like this? Perfect. Even, and maybe especially with the other two there.

Hayato took a deep breath and gently held his Boss’ precious hands. He dipped them in the water and oil and scrubbed, first with a brush, then a cloth. He patted them dry and started to massage.

His eyes kept skipping nervously to Boss’ face, pressed as it was into Hibari’s leg, even as he pressed his thumbs into Boss’ palm, still over-warm from flame-training earlier. He could almost hear a light baseline of music. Boss’ eyes were closed and he was smiling, maybe almost purring a little.

Hayato semi-casually crossed his legs as he took Boss’ wrists and dipped his hands in a wax bath. Boss’ hands that saved him and destroyed challengers should be beautiful. Pulling them out, he set everything aside properly and peeled off the now-cool wax layer. He massaged Boss’ fingers to peel off the last of the wax and picked up the cuticle stick to fix Boss’ cuticles.

Boss’ hands were so soft. He had clearly gotten his hands done like this before. Hayato shifted in his seat every time he didn’t need to keep his hands still. Every touch tingled like he’d bathed in pop-rocks or something. 

Hayato finished prepping and painted Boss’ nails. They were a deep red now, almost black. Hayato’s chest clenched at the sight. He was glad Boss’ eyes were closed and he wasn’t seeing Hayato’s blush.

Hands were everything to a musician, he recalled from his piano days, and with those hands Boss could play him anytime.

Then Baseball had to up the stakes.


“This is gonna be good.” Takeshi snickered. He didn’t bother hiding his smirk under a full smile.

Hayato (yeah personal name terms now) stared like Takeshi’d lost his mind. Or like he’d never seen Takeshi make an expression that wasn’t stupidly happy before. Whatever. “Baseball, you’re an evil genius. Where did this come from?”

“I owe my adherence to self-care and thus personal amusement to Tsuna’s assistance and his contact/friend’s therapy.” Takeshi pulled out a bottle of massage oil. “Ready?” Tsuna met Takeshi’s offer with a grin that did funny things to his insides, and Hayato’s judging by the blush. Hibari hadn’t stopped blushing since they’d all sat down so it was hard to tell if it got worse.

“Hmn kay…” Tsuna smiled and took off his shirt to lay face-first on the bed. Takeshi knelt and then sat on his legs, nearly hypnotized by the sheer amount of skin he now got to touch, and started rubbing the oil to warm it then putting his hands to Tsuna’s shoulders.

“Now!” Hayato hissed. He was closest to the door so he clearly heard the footsteps a second before Takeshi and Tsuna did. Light and close so clearly it’s Reborn. Hibari’s blush finally waned as he joined in the evil grinning.

Takeshi pressed down on Tsuna’s shoulders, relishing warm skin as he dragged his palms inwards towards Tsuna’s spine, digging in fingertips all the way. For a moment he regretted his calluses from baseball before Tsuna seemed to just melt under his hands with a moan that the paused footsteps indicated Reborn heard.

“Feel Good?” Takeshi purred, darting his gaze over to Hayato’s dazed stare and Hibari’s hand-biting to stop himself from giving the game away by laughing.


Tsuna was so glad he was face-down. The weight of Takeshi on his legs and the strength in Takeshi’s arms as he just pressed the tension out of Tsuna’s back was giving him other reactions that he was still bitter about having to delay gratification on.

That said… “OOooh Yeah…” He didn’t bother holding back his appreciation for Takeshi’s choice in sleepover activities.

He’d never admit it to an outsider but it was the strength that got to him. The power behind Takeshi’s hands, Kyouya’s presence, and even Hayato’s intensity had strength behind them. The kind of strength that made the avoidance of romance a pain.

Public romance anyway, hence their playing with the fun tropes. This particular not-so-innocent innuendo was just getting better as Takeshi pressed in again and Kyouya started to distract himself and Hayato by handing him the other oil bottle.

Meanwhile Takeshi had found a spot of knotted muscle to rub and Tsuna was about to make everyone in the room and out very un-fucking-comfortable.

“Oh, yeah, Ooh, Yea-ah, oh kami, Keshi~…” and so on until he was watching through his eyelashes as Hayato tried to casually hide an erection by crossing his legs and Kyouya fumbled something he was holding for the first time it Tsuna’s memory. Nobody was protesting though, verbally or otherwise. (Unless that clearly-Reborn squeak was a protest)

Tsuna wasn’t really able to follow that thought as Takeshi started to press his thumbs up the sides of his spine and he wasn’t entirely sure he could keep it together as he went non-verbal from the pleasure.

“Ah! Ah! Aah! Yes!” and there went Reborn. Running away by the pace there. This was awesome.

Except: “Just because he’s gone doesn’t mean you should stop!”


Kyouya snorted at Little Animal’s exclamation. Crocodile giggled as well and went back to work. Kyouya leaned into Puppy, who was being a lot less loud than usual.  It was good.

“Say if this gets bad-touchy.” Puppy spoke at an unusually reasonable noise level. Then he started to do that hand massage he’d done before painting Little Animal’s nails to Kyouya.

Kyouya hummed in approval as it felt very nice. Puppy knew how hard to press to make touch not icky. It also made the short sleeves of his borrowed shirt less weird. The touch moved from solid to almost too hard and Kyouya made a grumpy noise that had Puppy’s eyes flickering up before relaxing the touch back to nice levels.

Puppy’s hands finished with Kyouya’s fingers and palm and moved to his wrist. Feedback noises had him adjusting his grip to comfortable levels, different ones in different places, as he pressed away the agony of holding tonfas rigidly from all day stress. He was using the unscented oil, the one that didn’t make Kyouya sneeze.

Between the massage moving up his arms and the view of Little Animal’s shirtless front as he sat up so Crocodile could do his shoulders, Kyouya was blissed out. He had a short moment where Puppy touching his elbows caused problems but it was resolved with a grumpy noise and Puppy moving his hands to Kyouya’s shoulders.

He worked his own way behind Kyouya so they could sit comfortably while watching Takeshi’s ongoing attempt to relax Little Animal. He was so tense from that awful flame-training. It gave him vertigo intense enough that Kyouya noticed it without prompting.

Then he had an idea and whispered it to Puppy.


“Kneel up next to where Little Animal is sitting.” Hayato jumped at the Demon Prefect’s words. His brain made white-noise for a minute when he pictured it. Then Hibari made to poke him with the hand he’d just massaged, the ungrateful prick, and Hayato jumped up.

Boss didn’t open his eyes completely but he clearly watched as Hayato moved to kneel on the floor next to his legs. Then he did something Hayato would never have dared to hope for. He finished drying his nails with Flames and started stroking his hand through Hayato’s hair.

Bliss. He could hold a position where Boss was stroking his hair for hours. Or what felt like hours anyway. Nails that Hayato had painted dragged along his scalp and tugged on every hair individually in a way that blinded him with ecstasy.

The Harmony left over in Boss’ nails seemed to sink into Hayato’s mind and white out any discomfort from the position. His knees would be so sore after this. Honestly though he was just glad he could control himself enough not to look as embarrassingly turned on as he was.

If Boss wanted something, anything, he was there. Right now Boss was about putting him to sleep on his knees with pleasure and happiness. He hummed and sighed and wished he could purr like a cat just to show his appreciation for Boss’ attention there.

Then Boss scratched behind his ear and he made a desperately happy whimpering noise that was going to stick him with being called a puppy or Boss’ dog forever and he just couldn’t make himself care.


Takeshi was taken aback, amused by the noises Hayato was making alongside Tsuna. He caught the equally delighted grin on Hibari’s face and when their gazes met, Takeshi gestured to the shoe and clothes boxes on the desk. Hibari got up and wiped his hands before opening them and turning bright red.

His gaze shot up to meet Takeshi’s again and Takeshi could feel the trembling of Tsuna’s giggles. In the box was a gorgeous set of thigh-high stiletto heel boots in Tsuna’s size. In the other boxes were even more fun things for later.

Tsuna flopped backwards on the bed when Takeshi got up to retrieve the shoes, and while he was still running fingers through Hayato’s hair (the lucky bastard) he kicked up his feet and slipped his normal socks off. Hibari started investigating the other boxes, steadily getting redder.

Takeshi handed one shoe to Hayato and took up the other side. They massaged Tsuna’s feet as he petted their hair and it took them a while to get past that. They carefully slid stockings onto up Tsuna’s perfectly gorgeous legs.

Both were pink down to below their neckline by the time they reached his thighs and clipped the tops of the stockings to his skin-tight shorts. Then they slid the shoes on. They had knives in the heels and zippers that went all the way up. Tsuna was stunning.

Takeshi savored getting to touch as he dragged his hands along the inseam and back of Tsuna’s leg on the way up. He figured he had permission, between the instructions Tsuna gave before and the distinctly smiley look he had on his face now.

Then Takeshi reached the top of the boot and realized where his hands were.


Tsuna basked in the massage his legs were getting. He couldn’t wait until he could treat situations like this as the beautifully romantic gestures that they were. That he was also getting progressively more sexually frustrated with every day of this Game plot went without saying. They all were.

Their sleepovers had gotten progressively less platonic as they went on and the effort they went through for them was entirely worth it. Even if they couldn’t really do anything for a while. Tsuna gestured Kyouya over with the other boxes. Judging by the blush he’d seen the contents.

As Kyouya brought it over Tsuna stretched his arms over his head. Takeshi and Hayato steadied the lacing and framing as Kyouya fastened the busk in front. Tsuna may not have had any interest in extreme wasp waist but subtle curves were going to be fun to play with.

They stood up and the others steadied the corset as Tsuna turned around. It was a burnt orange and had sewn patterns of fire on all of the paneling. It was just barely over his nipples, giving illusion of cleavage, and sat on top of the skin-tight shorts he was wearing.

This close, he could see his boys' eyes dilating at the view. He put his hands on the boning over Hayato and Takeshi’s. Their other hands went to the lacing. Kyouya started to pull gently and they guided the laces so there wouldn’t be any random looseness or burns from moving too fast. He looked good and he knew it. The little gasps he made clearly did things for his boys too.

Hayato’s perfect faint at the sight of the Lolita dress he’d be wearing over everything was hilarious.

Tsuna's gasping laugh was a bit pitched from the air restriction but that just made it better.

Chapter Text

Mukuro and Chrome


“We’re following them to their hideout.” Fire Boss hissed instead of ‘hello’ as the violent boy with the bird, Hibari, was knocked away with a soundwave and the girl dropped her victim.

“Then hurry.” Mukuro growled. Chrome’s connection throbbed with secondhand pain. “They have a girl I was helping…”

“Master mentioned her.” Fire Boss’ gorgeously fluffy head swiveled as he stared at the path Lethal-clarinet was taking. “You have a bond?”

Mukuro nodded, frustrated. “That clarinet girl is heading in the same direction. I’m an illusionist, how will you follow and hide? ... Boss?” The title fit but Mukuro didn’t like it or having to query anything. Illusions made reality hard to recognize as it was without blurring the lines with questions.

“You can call me Tsuna.” Tsuna tapped Mukuro’s shoulder with one perfect manicured nail, calming him abruptly. He’d need to find out why that was calming. “I got it. I’ve also got back up on the way, Hayato is tracking me right now. Takeshi’s following him. Hayato’s sister Bianchi is following us more directly but staying out of sight.”

“That’s it?” Mukuro tensed again. “I’ve got Ken and Chikusa trying to sniff them out but that’s still only seven people, mostly teenagers, against hardened criminals that even the bloody mafia wouldn’t touch.” He hated not knowing what was going on. He hated reminders of the Estrano…

“Hibari will be back up in a second and that’s eight.” Tsuna paused in speaking as they cleared a larger gap between roofs. Perfect legs flashing as he ran and jumped. “But yeah, apparently I’m inheriting a mafia family and their loyalty test is to see if we survive child slavers...”

Mukuro listened to the explanation with more patience than he thought he had. He was pretty sure the last part, about loving the Ninth Vongola, was sarcasm. He might have been a wee bit distracted by the amount of skin Tsuna had no shame about and also the amount of secondhand pain he was feeling.

“Amen.” Mukuro huffed impatiently. Then he tugged Tsuna’s sleeve, anything to touch... “There’s Ken and Chikusa. They see us, they’re going in the back. The rest?” Mukuro closed his eyes and breathed deep against a particularly bad wave of secondhand agony.

“There goes Clarinet Bitch.” Tsuna’s mouth fell open. Was he wearing lipstick? “Bianchi’s poisoned the clarinet and that took her out. Not in time though, there’s a wierdo with birds taking Kusakabe inside. He’s knocked out Bianchi. Now they’ve got her as well.”

The direction to Chrome cleared up suddenly. She was awake now. They couldn’t find her before because she’d been unconscious. Of course…

“Chrome is inside. Top floor.” Mukuro’s eyes shot open, excited. Chrome had conjured a pre-form for the trident and was still sending intense news via panicked telepathy. “She has a weapon now if she gets a shot. Oh, and your friends are attacking the front door. They’ve taken out a lot of possessed mooks already.”

“Hole in the roof. Kokuyo is old.” Tsuna grabbed Mukuro’s arm, his nails were painted and this wasn’t the time to be looking, and led him over to it. “There’s Birds, and those twin lunatics.” And there they were, not even looking up. Tsuna let go and Mukuro felt a warm handprint on his arm where Tsuna’d grabbed.

Mukuro slid invisibly down the wall behind the escapees and hostages until he reached Chrome. He patted her on the head in pride and relief only she’d be able to tell he felt. He conferred with her in half-illusionary thought forms and in one smooth movement the two conjured vines to yank away the guns full of possession bullets.

Tsuna went around the side meanwhile and when the kidnapping bastards looked up…Tsuna did something. Mukuro got the impression of happiness, innocence, possessiveness, and protectiveness and some other overwhelming feeling before everything went black.

When he came to, Chrome had stumbled keeping him upright and puppeted him slightly while he was out. He felt slightly less bad about the sudden unconsciousness and reliance on his partner without warning when he saw that everyone else in the room had also fallen, save for Tsuna.

“What was THAT?!” Mukuro hissed, heat flooding his cheeks and down his neck uncontrollably. He could feel Chrome nodding along. Was she emphasizing his own embarrassment or was that all him? They needed to work that out.

“Moe blast.” Tsuna sighed. Mukuro watched his eyelashes flutter. “I’m better at aping Mist and Cloud flames than the others.” His head was bowed and remained so for a long moment. Mukuro wanted to run his hands through Tsuna’s fluffy, fuzzy, hair.

“Oh.” Mukuro’s eyes weren’t wet enough to blink away but it was close. When did that happen?

Chrome looked between them and shrugged before walking up to Tsuna. “Thank you for saving us.” She kissed him on the cheek. Suddenly Tsuna’s cheeks were pinking. Was that what ‘cute’ was supposed to mean? Mukuro picked up on Chrome’s slightly pointed intent to the kiss.

“We should probably deal with Lancia as well.” Tsuna spoke very quickly. Then he smacked himself in the forehead. “And you’re welcome, I’d do it again any time.” Mukuro wondered what he was correcting.

Good to know anyway. They headed downstairs to see how the others were doing. There was indeed a fight going on, which Tsuna solved by repeating whatever it was he did upstairs. Flash, CUTE! Black. All the same.

Mukuro wanted it.

Whatever it was.

He wandered around, cuffing the Mafioso out of their stupor and evading their (Totally Understandable) attempts to dedicate their lives and souls to Tsuna. Then a chameleon exploded to the background drone of an Arcobaleno explaining something.

Tsuna caught the gloves that resulted as the Arcobaleno, Reborn, petted his reformed chameleon. Tsuna looked at the gloves for a minute before seeming to wilt and handing them off to Chrome. They were Flame proof and killed possession with a punch.

Mukuro understood Tsuna’s reaction suddenly. They stood as the glorious victors overshadowed by the Mafia Police: Vindice. The Mafia had police. The Mafia. This constant questioning of his surroundings and reality was going to start breaking the world around him if he wasn’t careful.

Mukuro suddenly heard Tsuna’s laughter and turned in unison with Chrome to see what was so funny. That Hibari’s second, he of the stupid hair, and named Kusakabe apparently, had successfully bartered a sandwich for the right to actually kick each of the criminals in the butt.

Kufufufufu. Tsuna had a beautiful laugh, even when he was only giggling.

They went to stay at Tsuna’s place. Mukuro fully acknowledged (If only to Chrome) that they’d followed Tsuna home like loyal dogs.

Tsuna started wrapping injuries. Mukuro had one mad wild minute to be jealous of those who had injured themselves in their full frontal attack. They were getting personally treated by the boy Mukuro had been obsessed with ever since his rescue.

Master Harry and Guardian John called it Love.

That might have been the overwhelming feeling during Tsuna’s ‘Moe bomb.’

Wanting to Protect Tsuna was less ‘creepy’ than wanting to possess him right?

Mukuro fixed Tsuna’s makeup to its previous state by running a hand over the other boy’s face. Hibari made grumpy noises until the baseball obsessed one, Takeshi, explained jealousy to him. Mukuro listened in. It sounded like the feeling when he realized Tsuna might choose to be romantic with someone else.

Also good to know.

The adults were gone for a while before any of them felt like moving again. Then the explosive one, Hayato, reached out and poked Tsuna’s side. He did so gently, Mukuro felt no pressing need to destroy him for the action, but he also put his hand flat on Tsuna’s side. That was jealousy-inducing right there.

If Mukuro hadn’t been keeping track of Tsuna’s body-sign-language he’d have thought Tsuna was uncomfortable with the touch. Instead?

“Boss, are you still wearing that corset?” Hayato asked. Mukuro almost involuntarily turned the room into a territory.

“Yes.” Tsuna had no idea the ideas suddenly running through Mukuro’s, and by extension Chrome’s, head. Mukuro extended a net of mist flames to figure out everyone else’s feelings.

He reached over to feel for the corset as well. Tsuna shivered but didn’t say or do anything to complain. Why was nobody else feeling jealousy?

“Ha, hey, new friends. Share with the pride here. Also, what’re your names?” The boy with a baseball bat, Takeshi, smiled through his words. He was projecting calm and protectiveness.

“Khufufu, I’m Mukuro. This is Chrome.” Mukuro introduced at Tsuna’s gesture to please cooperate. They went through everyone else’s names as well.

Mukuro could tell he intimidated a little, mostly the kids, and Tsuna didn’t want the others to be afraid of him. How sweet! He nudged Chrome and went to sleep curled up on the couch to watch the rest of the evening through her eyes.

Chrome blinked at the feeling of Mukuro-sama behind her eyes but gave no other sign. Tsuna-kun knew they did this, so it wasn’t a secret. Tsuna-kun approved and Mukuro-sama liked it so it was good. Tsuna-kun sat on the edge of the couch cushions and leaned back over Mukuro-sama’s body.

He watched them in her eyes for a moment before understanding that neither would complain in any way before settling more comfortably. Hayato-san and Takeshi-san settled in next to him, causing slight awkwardness in Mukuro-sama at the good feeling of friendly touch crossing paths with his past experiences being examined.

It calmed entirely at Mukuro-sama’s realization that the three had posed so any newcomers to the room couldn’t see anything he was doing. They were also posed so any reaction on their end would free him from being pinned. There was a faint warm glow filtering through his body and pleasing them both.

All was silent for a long, peaceful, blissful while. Mukuro-sama had fixed her own pains on seeing her and Tsuna-kun had powered and anchored his illusions to be in harmony with her body more completely. She wondered if she had been truly healed. It was so kind of them.

She kissed Tsuna-kun on the cheek at Mukuro-sama’s prompting. He flushed and signaled ‘stop.’ Takeshi took her hands. “Not yet. The Game isn’t over and it’s not kind to romantic endeavors.”

“The game?” Chrome and Mukuro-sama asked in sync. It sounded wavery. Takeshi and Hayato’s eyebrows raised slightly before settling again.

Tsuna-kun took Mukuro-sama’s hand and set an illusion to alert them if anyone approached or was within hearing distance. “The Game, known to some as Gaia’s Game, is both hard and easy to pin down and understand…”

Chrome watched him as she and Mukuro-sama took in the story, of boys and girls who had inherited or accepted power from the earth itself and the earth’s discovery of games, particularly video games, how that changed things, and the Gamers, Tsuna-kun being one among many.

It was the Gamers who had freed Mukuro-sama. But it was the Game that prevented them, all of them, from being with Tsuna-kun as they wished. Though, perhaps, if he had been able to date before he would have done with just whoever asked first. Mukuro-sama had an approximately equal chance now.

Or maybe Tsuna would choose all of them. They all seemed to be staking a claim, even, she admitted to Mukuro-sama, herself and Mukuro-sama. They had allowed Tsuna-kun far more of themselves than was normal for them before…or was it just Mukuro-sama? She had, after all, only just met Tsuna-kun.

But she’d kissed him. For a second time now. The first without prompting. She wanted to kiss him again, on the lips this time, but Tsuna-kun had said ‘no.’ ‘No’ was important. She had hated the woman who had ignored her when she tried to say it. Mukuro-sama had learned ‘no’ from Tsuna.

She would listen to Tsuna-kun’s ‘no’ until they were safe from this ‘game.’ Then, hopefully, she and Mukuro-sama would get to listen to a ‘yes’ or better a ‘please.’ She thought for a moment. She was prepared to share Tsuna-kun with Mukuro-sama. Would she also be sharing with the other three? Could Tsuna-kun choose them all?

They were all so pretty. Even Mother’s books under the bed, the only illustrated ones in the house, didn’t have such pretty men. Her sexual awakening may or may not have come from those harem romances but she was completely prepared to be in Tsuna’s harem.

Tsuna would probably insist on a more balanced relationship though. All the better. Her mother would have beat her for the language but…

Damn this ‘Game’ and it’s romantic delays.

Chapter Text


Reborn was stressed, so stressed. This kid, this useless, weak civilian, was going to be the death of him completely by accident. He didn’t know if it would be the heart attack from surprise at the brat’s sideways thinking or the cavities at how compulsively adorable he and his guardians were.

Nana was no help at all. He was trying for conformation without creepy pedophilic voyeurism whether the boy was having sex with his guardians when he asked about them. He was not looking for a six hour gush about how adorable they all were and how her son would be a perfect wife for such manly boys.

He carefully internalized his shudder. They boys were clearly using their closer-than-usual relationship to ward him off. Which wouldn’t work due to his professed lack of shame but lack of shame didn’t make him a voyeur or a pedophile. (No he’d never actually dated Bianchi but claiming he did saved him from having to dodge a lot of poisonous shit so whatever.)

He wasn’t about to make them stop bonding because he was paranoid and didn’t want to watch underage persons having sex. Or listen to it for that matter. He knew they weren’t actually that time with the moaning (The giggling had been less obvious but still a dead giveaway.) but he wasn’t about to get involved with any activity that produced those noises until he was an adult-shaped person again.

At least they were bonding? Oh, and the brat wasn’t as uselessly stupid as Iemitsu. Stubborn yes, not stupid.

Grazie Dio.



Those brats…Reborn would be so proud if only someone else had been the target of their behavior. They were all prodigies in the noble art of fucking with people. Take today for example: it starts out so innocent, if strange. The kids want to play with water guns, ok, fine. They fill the guns with liquids other than water, interesting. Then they all deal with the heat by running drills and blasting each other, great.

Who was the dumbass that chose to load their supersoaker with milk? Asking for a friend.

If they turn up dead they totally deserved it.

Reborn watched the aftermath of the ‘training battle’ in stupefied, disgusted awe as neighbor after neighbor runs away after spotting them. Why, oh why did he have to get involved? Now he couldn’t leave without looking cowardly. He had no shame but he had an image to uphold Dannazione!

They’d gotten all their shirts wet and wanted to reduce the amount of warming milk. Reborn could get behind that mostly. Theoretically. Anyway they decided the best way to get most of the milk out of the shirts…was to suck on them.

Breastfeeding without breasts. If he hadn’t spent so much time looking like an infant he might have found it funny. Instead it was just uncomfortable. He took back his earlier statement that he didn’t want them having sex, the unresolved sexual tension in moments like these was killer.

Useless Sky was licking the drops of white off of Rain Brat’s chest.


Accidenti a loro.


Why did the Japanese have to love puns so much? Granted they were part of a proud tradition in Italia once as well but this was just excessive. Nana had brought out cherries as a snack. It was all downhill from there. The kids were even good enough actors that he couldn’t tell if the puns were on purpose.

“Can I have your cherry Tsuna?”

“Trade you for yours Takeshi.”

“You can have mine Boss.”

And so on and so forth. By the fifteenth minute everyone had ‘taken someone’s cherry.’ A passing jogger brained himself on the sidewalk. Five neighbors had turned up loud music. Reborn wished he still remembered how to cry.

Then they started on learning to tie knots in the stems with their tongues. Tsuna could already do it and even did one with his mouth open as if that weren’t the most obscene thing Reborn had seen since Lal had invited him to that one CEDEF party…Nope, not thinking that at all…

That Mist brat cheated with illusions and so did the girl with him. Reborn had asked if her intent was to become a Mafia wife and all the brats had stared at him in unison. Clearly he was missing something. He managed to make it look like he was just messing with them but they didn’t look entirely convinced.

He finally cracked and pretended to take a phone call and actually went to decontaminate the coffee. Somehow some of Bianchi’s cooking had wound up in the container.


When he finally had the courage to return to training the brats he made the discovery that they were learning knot tying. Which was fine… But those weren’t capture knots and the book they were learning from was no scout manual.

Leon had to rub the bridge of his nose for him as he stared at the brat’s newest creative abomination. The Rokudo brat had misted up some ropes for them to use, more vine than rope, and they were practicing knot tying on each other. Mostly Gokudera.

Reborn covered his eyes with shades to look cool as he tried not to stare. They were all completely and even modestly clothed with the ropes only going over top, why was it so embarrassing? Was it the bikini made entirely of knots of red rope Gokudera was wearing? The knotted suspension the Rain brat was relaxing in? (Ok, so that might have some practical applications in capture but still, yikes.)

The Yamamoto kid’s knotted suspension had him laid out like a swing, hanging from a tree branch and all, so Reborn supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised someone sat on him. That it was Gokudera was less expected. That Gokudera lay chest-to-chest on him when Dame-Tsuna asked was about as weird.

That Dame-Tsuna had copied Reborn’s pranking style to get his mist to tie the two together like that for a full thirty minutes?

Oh, Idiot-Mitsu was here. Finally this wouldn’t just be Reborn’s problem.

Mio Dio he was tired.


Iemitsu was so happy to be home with his perfect precious wife and his adorable Tsuna-Fishie! Granted, he hadn’t seen his Tsuna-Fishie yet but it was only a matter of time. Dino had been appropriately useful in getting the rings to Iemitsu’s son. Basil was still funny, teaching him to talk like that was a great idea.

He’d offered some proper alcohol to put some hair on the little ones’ chests but they’d said no. They were hardly going to grow up properly manly like that but they weren’t his adorable son so he didn’t care if they grew up strong at all.

Iemitsu got off the couch to enjoy a meal of his wife’s cooking. He wondered where everybody had gone. Only the Poison Scorpion was here! He was so glad to be eating his wife’s cooking instead! He wondered whether Tsuna-Fishie and he would go hunting together as men or talk about hot women!

He went back to the alcohol bottles and found that Bianchi had picked them all up. Oh, well. He’d have to buy more then. He wondered when he could do bonding activities with his manly little precious Tsuna-Fishie. They could train to take down Xanxus! Tsuna-Fishie would be very useful there.

Xanxus was always trying to stop Iemitsu from doing good things. He deserved to be punished for behaving so badly. It would be wonderful when Tsuna was Xanxus’ boss and Iemitsu could watch him be forced to obey.

Oh! The kids were training. Iemitsu went out to offer them advice. Clearly they needed it.


Reborn was a monster who chose perverts to protect Iemitsu’s precious Tsuna-Fishy.

They were all clearly monsters who were leering at his (Granted prettier than expected) son. Why did Tsuna-Fishie have to look so much like Nana? Iemitsu almost went across town to hire Xanxus to actually kill these brats who thought they had the right to touch his precious Tsuna-Fishie.

They were horrible, always touching and looking at Tsuna-Fishie…The smiley one, Storm?, had an arm over his shoulder in a very touchy way. One of them even touched his butt! Why that awful boy (Reborn said the scowly one was the Rain right?) was biting poor Tsuna-Fishie! Tsuna-Fishie was turning very red…

“I’ll Save YOU TSUNA-FISHIE!” Everything went black.

Iemitsu relished his win over the biting brat while recovering in the hospital. Tsuna-Fishie must be finishing off his revenge since he wasn’t visiting. Why, the twin of the scowly pervert was walking by outside the window now! Probably Tsuna-Fishie could challenge this one himself.

He was could hear the moans of pain through the slightly-open window! He couldn’t see anything but the smacking of people hitting each other and those moans but by the looks on the nurses’ faces clearly it was intense.

Iemitsu wondered if he could replace the current set with female guardians after the fights so Tsuna-Fishie could have a harem. Girls could never beat the Varia but it would be better for Tsuna-Fishie to have an entourage that fit how manly he was.


Iemitsu wondered why Reborn kept avoiding Tsuna-Fishie. It wasn’t like they could interrupt something important. Iemitsu didn’t approve of all the wrestling and massages and touching the boys were doing to his precious Tsuna-Fishie but he wasn’t a coward enough to avoid dealing with such things!

He beat up the one kid in training for daring to smack Tsuna-Fishie’s bottom. Didn’t they know they were supposed to be guarding Iemitsu’s precious, perfect son? The Sun kid was ok. He didn’t lust after Iemitsu’s boy. He even yelled EXTREEME all the time so he was easy to track!

He was Tsuna’s best guardian. It had certainly taken a lot of pressure to get the Bovino Famiglia head to give up the little cow for the fights! Far too much for Iemitsu to like the little terror. He wasn’t perving on Tsuna-Fishie though, too young. Iemitsu would have to check back in a few years.

Meanwhile he sent off all the guardians to train with different people so they had less time to perv of Tsuna-Fishie. They weren’t even subtle about it! One of them even dared to say that Iemitsu didn’t get to have an opinion on whether they were with Tsuna-Fishie!

Of course he did. Tsuna-Fishie was too naive to see the monsters under the skin of boys pretending to be good followers. Besides, no natural boy would like another boy that way and they’d all admitted to romantic and even sexual attraction to Iemitsu’s son. Clearly Iemitsu needed to protect Tsuna-Fishie still.

He was only sixteen after all.

Face Plant

Tsuna-Fishie was wearing a…

Tsuna-Fishie was wearing…

Tsuna-Fishie was…


His manly little boy was wearing a sundress. He was even wearing makeup. That Horrid, Horrid Smoking Bomb was Painting His Nails!!!

Why was everyone staring at Iemitsu like he was the crazy one? Those dreadful, monstrous boys had turned his son into some kind of girly deviant! Or at least made him look like one!

“I picked it.” Why would his precious Tsuna-Fishie lie about such a thing?

“He did.” Lal was in on this! Such betrayal would not stand!

“What are you freaking out about now, toothless old lion?” The boy who was actually Tsuna’s Cloud was clearly going blind.

They all went on like that until everything broke with Nana’s contribution, “Tsuna-chan will be such a good wife for these good boys.~”

Iemitsu spent the rest of training that day gibbering in the corner. He intermittently attacked the boys afterwards for ‘corrupting his precious Tsuna-Fishie.’ One of them even had the absolute cruelty to use Tsuna-Fishie as a human shield when Iemitsu went to smite him.

This went on until Xanxus shot Tsuna-Fishie in the tournament. Iemitsu was injured bravely exacting revenge on the monster who’d killed his legacy. It should have been Iemitsu’s son on that Vongola Throne. So Unfair.

Chapter Text


They’d gotten away with it.

They all watched intensely as the CEDEF and Varia dismounted from the plane to return to their bases. Tsuna grinned. The TV they’d gotten for a secret underground base had been a brilliant idea. They needed to furnish the rest though.

It didn’t really matter, they’d gotten away with it!!

Tsuna jumped up and danced with glee in the ticklish fluffy little orange dress he’d picked for the celebration. Also because it made his boy-toys stupid and malleable. He had plans after all. Even if this wasn’t [Game Over] they’d tanked the ‘polyamory as a joke’ trope hard. They were that free at least and at last.

His boys didn’t seem to realize, Tsuna noticed as they drank sparkling cider in toasts to the plan going so well. They kept eying each other as competitors instead of sharing. So, how to deal with this in the most unquestionable way? Tsuna kept dancing around, sort-of herding his boys into a crowded line. Then he struck.

His hands found Kyouya’s hair and tugged in a short moment of competition and sparks as he claimed the wild boy’s lips. Tsuna darted away then before Kyouya could react. Next he totally ruined Mukuro’s stupid, fluffy, pineapple-hair while he stuck his tongue into Mukuro’s mouth, clacking teeth a little on Mukuro’s stunned gape.

Takeshi seemed to have almost put two and two together as Tsuna dropped Mukuro into Chrome’s arms to lie down. Then Tsuna ruined whatever comprehension he’d gained by smooching him for a good five seconds while groping his perfect arms. He smelled like fresh-cut grass. He also almost passed out in shock.

He copied the maneuver on Hayato but held him up from collapse by the back of the neck. Then Tsuna dropped him and Chrome kindly helped him and Takeshi fall onto the pillows without injury before claiming her own kiss. She was good, sweet, the only one, somehow, who’d noticed his choice before he made it this obvious.

“Tsuna?” “Little Animal?” “Boss?” “Khufufu?”

“Yes, All of you. Did the dress melt your brains? You especially Mukuro, Chrome got it!” Tsuna huffed.



Kyouya walked up and hugged Little Animal from behind and murmured, “You too, Little Animal. You’re ours too.” He continued to hold him as the three who’d collapsed collected themselves. He really wanted to tear off the dress but hadn’t been given permission, and Little Animal wouldn’t want the dress ruined anyway.

Kyouya closed his eyes against the dizzying spontaneity for a moment before dedicating himself to checking Little Animal’s signals. Little Animal’s hands weren’t near his face, they were folded behind Kyouya’s head. Little Animal whispered, “The dress ties are just under your hands. We’ll see how it goes.”

He forced his hands to obey him as he tugged on the right strings, watching for discomfort all the while he removed the maddening dress Little Animal was... teasing?... them with. The shoes, inconvenient heels, made his legs look different as he stepped out of the falling fabric. Good different.

He was wearing a different corset. Each panel was a soft fabric of different colors. Kyouya stroked the left panel that was his favorite shade of purple. He fixated on it for a while as the others watched. Then he went back to Little Animal’s shoulder and bit down.

Not hard enough to bleed, Little Animal was too precious to waste, but enough to mark. Little Animal made happy noises as Kyouya ran his hands all over while biting marks into his pride leader’s neck. Mutual Claiming, Little Animal turned around to do his claiming on Kyouya’s mouth.

It was better than sparring.


He hadn’t imagined Chrome could be serious about those fantasies. Mukuro loved them as well, it was their way after all and he’d loved Tsuna even before he’d met Chrome. She was perfect enough for him to be in her mind but this…

The Indigo panel of the corset had lotus flowers on it. Mukuro was on his knees worshipping that bit of claim he had on the boy he loved. He used his vines to remove his own clothes, down to boxers, and he tugged on Tsuna’s shorts for permission. He got it with a smiling nod.

The murmured requests for help from the others wasn’t expected but appreciated. Tsuna took charge of getting everyone arranged. Most of them got onto the big pile of pillows Mukuro had conjured by tripping over the suddenly-existing pillows. Mukuro couldn’t tell who else was laughing but there were at least two.

Mukuro took his sweet time tugging the sinfully skintight fabric over his love’s perfect butt. No thigh-high boots this time, would have been frustrating anyway. Mukuro about melted when Tsuna pulled away from Hibari’s mouth just to say he could leave the heels and corset.

He ran his hands down Tsuna’s legs as he removed the shorts. Tsuna lifted one foot at a time, wow that view, to step out of the shorts. Then he grabbed Mukuro by the, loosened from the earlier kiss, hair and tilted all three to fall into the pillows. Tsuna was on his side, beneath Mukuro and facing Hibari.


They wanted to get each other off but they didn’t have lube so frottage it was. Takeshi was never so glad to have done his research. He didn’t mind Mukuro ending up a little on top of himself though, Takeshi got to be behind Tsuna. Takeshi fit a hand between Mukuro and Tsuna’s thighs and started to rub.

It was clumsy as could be expected. They’d practiced sexy-like things to know each other’s preferences to some degree but not enough to wipe out all of their inexperience. Takeshi wished he could stop thinking about it but he was having his first time with his boyfriend(s)! He hadn’t expected a shared win!

He should have, he was on a baseball team after all. Shared wins were supposed to be a norm for him. He couldn’t think straight (Ha!) anymore though. His dick was wedged up against his longtime-love’s ass and that Hayato guy must have a hell of a service kink because his hands were everywhere, petting and adjusting things.

Takeshi reached his other hand up around to play with Tsuna’s chest, flat planes and perfect form from being a Game character. Takeshi made a slightly disgruntled noise then as they’d all tilted sideways a little. He reminded himself that they were all virgins and this was new for everyone.

“Haha, this might take practice.” Oh Kami did he just say that!?

Tsuna’s giggles could be felt! “Thank’s Takeshi, I needed that.” He turned their heads to it only strained them a little to kiss.

Then Mukuro made a disappointed noise and Takeshi blocked Tsuna in favor of kissing the vine-obsessed crazy himself. Did that make him crazy too? Didn’t matter, if Tsuna picked all of them then they could pick each other too.


Baseball freak was insane and there sadly wasn’t any room for Hayato in the... Puppy pile? Orgy? Some insane combo of both? ... Whatever. Hayato would make do. He got more from this than he was expecting. He ran his hands over all of them. They all loved each other, if not as much as they loved Boss.

Thank Kami Boss was an equal-opportunity lover or Hayato would have definitely been missing out on this completely. Hayato took further advantage of having his hands free and somewhat focused on Ba-Takeshi as the only one he could reach. He crawled around until he was curled over their heads and petted to his heart’s content.

Boss’ hair was so fluffy Hayato could die. And even inexperienced with sex, well, they weren’t going all the way today anyway it seemed. Hayato resisted the freak-out about soiling his Boss with memories of all the (Mafia inappropriate) things they’d already done together.

Hayato traced and massaged the body parts of everyone he could reach while basking in their glory and the glory of the plan working. If he snuck a hand in and down to make sure Boss was actually healthy again and the hole in his chest fixed then he was groping Boss and Hibari’s pecs and nobody was going to say otherwise.

That, “Mn, yes Please!” wasn’t a no in any language. Nor was the hand that grabbed Hayato’s wrist and kept him from taking his hand back. Hayato wound up reaching farther into the pile and was that Boss’…Yes, and Hibari’s slotted next to it. Hayato couldn’t tell if he wanted to die or wanted to ‘die.’


Chrome watched from the corner as the boys ‘celebrated.’ None of them were practiced enough to be anything other than frantic. The desperation to be together had been boiling for two or more years for some of them. Chrome was perfectly satisfied not touching the boys.

The view could have fueled her ladytime fantasies for years even if this was all she saw. And she’d gotten into the back of Mukuro-sama’s head as well, so she was feeling everything he got too. She wondered if future instances would include the vines and how.

They were all certainly kinky enough.

She got closer to watch, and massage from the outside. Tsuna-kun wasn’t the only one with a cute butt. The boys got even more intense as she groped their backsides while they were crowding Tsuna. She curled up with Hayato and massaged his shoulders as she watched him serve the boys in a way she couldn’t yet.

Mukuro-sama’s backwash of pleasure was certainly helping her along. Hayato was kind enough to spare her a hand as well. Tsuna-kun’s head was right beneath them and Chrome thought Hayato must be enjoying those noises as much as she was.

The boys’ stamina was amazing. Probably brought on by the years they had to be in proximity with each other as they were surrounded by high level dangers. Heart rates up around each other all the time. Bonding like they did probably didn’t fix anything but they could all be crazy together.

Cleaning this up wasn’t her job.

Tsuna Again

Tsuna thoroughly enjoyed being pinned down like this. He couldn’t actually tell who was doing what but it was warm and beautiful and he was having sex with his own gay mafia harem. (C’mon, rainbow fire bonds? What else could be expected?)

The [Game] wasn’t getting involved either. Whether this was the end of it or not, and given Harry’s experiences probably not, He had his consolation prize and it was entirely worth it. Yes even getting his chest blown up. If Hayato thought he was being sneaky about his comfort thing he was wrong.

Tsuna tilted his head back and received two more kisses. Chrome had joined Hayato over their heads on the bed of pillows. Tsuna snagged Hayato’s hand with his own pinned arm and tugged it down. Then Hayato’s hand was on him properly and he could almost picture the sex he’d have with all of them again later.

Then Tsuna lost his grip on his harmony flames and they all came together. Hayato had already helped Chrome to that point a bit before so her second was the one that set off Mukuro and by extension the rest of them.

Tsuna whited out too. He wheezed a bit when Mukuro forgot to hold himself up and dropped like a surprisingly heavy rock. Then Tsuna shoved the boy off so he could breathe. Takeshi just grabbed Tsuna properly to spoon and was probably asleep given the feelings Tsuna was getting.

Chrome floated Mukuro over to collapse on Kyouya’s other side and then she anchored the pillows to stay while they all slept. Mukuro exhaustedly gestured to get a washcloth and clean them up. They tried to help but it still took a bit. They all helped adjust each other to more comfortable positions.

It was peaceful as they could ask for. They all pulled closer, blissfully happy in each other’s presence.


Downstairs, the boy they’d hired to do security started fiddling with a brightly colored bazooka.

{[Observe] Failed. Success Not Possible.}