“Eskild, I am not buying you condoms!” Isak said as he groaned on his bed, his flatmate leaning against the door frame.
“Please, baby gay!” He jumped to the bed and hugged his friend, who tried to get rid of him, with no success. “I still need to get showered and the boy is about to come over.”
“Why doesn’t he bring his own condoms?” Isak grunted, although he wasn’t as tense in the hug as he had been before.
“Oh, I am sure he has, but the problem is that I don’t have any left. Like, at all. And I can’t go around asking for free condoms, can I?”
Isak closed his eyes and sighed. “Okay, I’ll do it, but you’ll clean the bathroom for the next week.”
“Deal,” Eskild said with a clap. “You’re fantastic, Isak!” He said as he kissed the boy on the cheek.
“I’ll go and buy some, I’ll be back in five minutes,” Isak said as he stood up, leaving his friend on his bed.
Isak entered the store, walking towards an aisle. Yes, he knew where condoms were, he had been with Eskild in the store and while the older boy bought his condoms Isak bought food.
What struck him, though, was the amount of different condoms they had: so many boxes with different colours, and so many different words describing the type of condom. There were even different sizes.
“Can I help you?” A voice said behind him. Isak turned around and shit, he had a hottie in front of him. Like, a real hottie.
He had never seen him working here, so he was probably new. And what a better moment for meeting the Norwegian James Dean than when you’re buying condoms for your flatmate. Sometimes Isak hated his life.
He didn’t have any chances with this guy, though. Defined jaw, blue eyes, fluffy blond hair and a warm smile. Also, his legs were super long? Anyways, the guy was probably straight. Isak’s gaydar sometimes becomes a pleasebegaydar, which doesn’t help. His gay ass thought that every cute boy out there is gay. Not really.
To his embarrassment, he realized that he had been staring at the worker for a while now, but the other guy just looked at him in silence. He had a badge with his name, he realized. Even.
“Uh… I was looking for some condoms,” he said. Fuck, why didn’t he just grab a package and leave?
The other boy smiled at him, “I see, which type do you prefer?” He asked, kneeling so that he had access to those packages that were in the first shelf.
“Uh… I… I don’t know.”
“We have... Durex Extra Safe, Durex Real Feel, Durex Feel Thin, Durex Ultra Thin, Durex Feel Smooth, Durex Intense Pleasure, Durex Tickling Ribs, Durex Tickling Dots, Durex Warming Pleasure, Durex Flavours and Durex Extended Pleasure. Oh, and also Durex Mutual Pleasure.”
This conversation was fucking surreal.
Also, how on earth were there so many types? Isak had always made sure that the boys he hooked up with had condoms in hand, so he didn’t know about the variety. Buying condoms on a regular basis must be a nightmare.
And what would Eskild prefer? Real Feel? Ultra Thin? Tickling Ribs? He seemed like the Durex Feel Thin type, didn’t he?
“I guess that Durex Feel Thin,” Isak muttered, his cheeks going red.
“Okay,” Even said as he grabbed one of the boxes. “This are medium size, is that okay or would you need something bigger?” Fuck, why was he making this conversation seem so professional? The boy didn’t seem embarrassed at all. Isak, on the other hand, wanted to die. Having such conversation with a guy who looked like fucking Apollo should be illegal, unless in bed.
Isak faked a laugh. “Oh, no, I’m not the ones putting them on!”
And that’s when Even thought that Isak was gay.
“Okay, what’s your partner’s size, then?” Even asked, hiding a smirk by biting his lip.
Isak was all flustered. “No, he isn’t my boyfriend or anything, just a friend! But a real friend, not a fuck buddy or anything.” He then realized what he had just said. Why did he just say that? This was only getting worse.
Even cocked his eyebrow, “Okay, just a friend… Would they fit him?” He clearly thought that Isak was lying.
Isak went silent. He had never seen Eskild’s private parts (not that he wanted to, thank you very much), but he had seen his condoms and seemed like regular ones.
“This will be fine, thanks,” Isak said. Jesus Christ, he just wanted to leave and hide in his bedroom forever.
“Good,” Even said as he walked towards the cash desk, shaking the package of condoms in the air. “If your friend had told you he needed XXL condoms,” he said as he stood behind the counter, “he was probably lying. Only a few men need those.” He winked. He finished the sentence with a wink. What was he implying? And were Isak’s cheeks getting redder? He didn’t know where to look, but looking down or somewhere else would show Even that he felt about this situation the same way that a teenager did.
“Okay, a package of 12 Durex Feel Thin condoms. It will be 8 crowns, please. Credit or cash?” Even said as he placed the condoms inside a plastic bag.
Shit, Eskild hadn’t given him money, and he only had 200 crowns in his wallet, which he had taken from his bank to pay the rent. He sighed and gave the note to Even; he was going to kill Eskild.
“Could you wait here?” Even asked, “I don’t have enough change, I’ll go inside and get it. Just give me a second,” he said as he walked towards what seemed a private room for the staff.
Isak nodded and stood there, the plastic bag hanging from his arm. When he started wondering why Even was taking so long, the boy came back, smiling at him.
“Here you have it,” he said as he gave him his change and a ticket.
“Takk. Uh… bye!” Isak said before turning around, running down the aisle towards the door.
“Have fun!” Even shouted behind him. Oh God, Isak thought.
“I’ll never do that again for you!” Isak shouted when he entered the living room, throwing the plastic bag on the wooden table. Eskild was sitting on a chair scrolling down his Instagram feed, covered only in a towel.
“Someone is angry…” Eskild said without looking up.
“I almost died of embarrassment!” Isak snapped.
“Why? It’s just condoms.”
“Yeah, but the most beautiful guy you could ever imagine help me to get your condoms, and that wasn’t fun!”
Eskild finally looked up, “A hottie assisted you? Is that why you felt awkward around him?” He laughed. “I want to meet him now! If he can make you uncomfortable then he must be really hot.”
“Well, you’ll have to go on your own because I’m never going there ever again.” He let himself fall on a chair, rummaging in his pockets to get his change out. “You owe me eight crowns, by the way.” He left the notes on the table. He hadn’t taken the time to put the notes in his wallet, he was too busy running away.
Eskild nodded, and then frowned as he grabbed one of the notes. “Who’s Even?” He asked.
It was now Isak’s turn to frown. “What?”
“Who is Even?” Eskild asked again.
“The guy at the store, the one who helped me with your condoms. How do you know his name?”
Eskild’s smile widened. “Oh, darling, I think that he wants to use those condoms with you!” Eskild said as he waved one of the notes in front of Isak’s face.
The younger boy grabbed the note; on one side, Even had written his name and his number with a small heart. Isak couldn’t believe the fact that he got a boy’s number from a conversation about fucking condoms.
“You’re gonna text him, right?” Eskild asked with a cheeky smile.
“Uhh… I don’t know. Maybe later,” Isak muttered, leaving the note on the table.
“What!? Of course you are. And you’re going to text him now, the poor boy must be desperate. And if not, I’ll call him!” Eskild said as he fetched the note and started running across the room, dialling the number while Isak ran behind him.
“Eskild, don’t you dare!” He said, pulling from the towel. The other boy was already calling. “Eskild, this one is mine.” Eskild turned and smiled at him, hanging up.
“I see… So you do want to text him. Come on, baby gay, send him that text!” Eskild said as he handed Isak the note. “I’ll be in my bedroom, but keep me updated!”
Isak sighed and read the number on the wrinkled note. If the other boy had written the number down was because he wanted Isak to talk to him, right?
hi, it’s me, Isak, the guy from the store
The one that kept blushing because he was buying condoms?
the one and only
Meet me down the street at 20:00?
Just want to get to know you better
There’s a cozy café there
okay, see you at eight, then
It's a date, then!
Isak sighed and placed his phone against his chest. He’d have to thank Eskild for making him go and buy condoms.