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Your Heart Is My Heart (And My Heart Is Yours)

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The mornings Alec loves the most are the lazy, peaceful ones.

As in, the mornings that neither he needs to leave for the Institute early, nor Magnus has a client stopping by before ten.

Those kinds of mornings they spend in bed, surrounded by pillows, warmth, and each other. No responsibilities waiting to be sorted out, no stress, no war awaiting them once they go out and face the day.

Although, if Alec has to be completely honest with himself, there is something that he loves more than all that. Which is; how much those mornings suit Magnus.

Look.

Alec is an early riser, okay?

He’s a shadowhunter. He’s been waking before the sun has even risen practically his entire life. And Magnus on the other hand is well-known for demanding (and getting) his beauty sleep, and he’s therefore always waking after Alec.

Which means that whenever he and Magnus spend the better part of their mornings in bed, Alec lays there, tangled up in the sheets, and patiently waits for Magnus to wake up.

In the exact way he’s doing right now.

He knows it must be at least a little creepy sitting there and so intensely watching Magnus as he sleeps. And it’s been more than a few times that Magnus woke up to find a pair of wide, hazel eyes staring at him, and startled, hazy as he still was from sleep.

But Alec can’t help it.

Magnus somehow manages to look even more beautiful while he’s sleeping.

It’s the effortless kind of beautiful. The kind that Magnus need not get ready for. It just emits off of him, as if he’s glowing, as if he isn’t real, as if Alec is in fact staring at a work of art that was painted by some talented artist instead of a living, breathing human being.

Αnd Alec can’t get enough of that sight.

He’s currently lying on his back, head propped up and resting on his pillow, his one arm atop his stomach. The other arm circles around Magnus’s shoulders, as the man is curled up on his side, probably still deep in sleep. His breaths are short, and even, and he hasn’t moved even the slightest for a little while. Alec feels his arm cramping under the weight of Magnus, but he won’t dare move it away, in fear of disrupting him and forcing him to wake up.

No. He would never do such thing to Magnus. He would never interfere and disturb such serenity.

Alec turns his head to look at Magnus. All he can see from where he lays is the mess of dark hair, and the way his arm has circled around Alec’s waist, holding him close even during the night.

Alec smiles softly, and shifts as smoothly as he can so he would now be able to lay on his side, facing Magnus.

He loves how it’s still early and they’re still in bed and hence Magnus hasn’t gotten up to do his makeup yet. And he loves how he and Magnus have progressed enough into the relationship for Magnus to not need to magically keep his makeup on during the night, as if to use it as a mask to shield away negative comments from Alec, like Alec noticed he did during his first sleepovers at Magnus’s.

And as much as he loves Magnus any time of the day (makeup, jewelry, and all), there’s nothing that compares to the way he looks when he’s bare of it all. He’s all softer angles, and smooth, golden skin. And to top it all, Alec is particularly fond of how, once Magnus wakes up and comes to his senses a little bit, he’s going to look up in search of Alec’s eyes, and his own won’t be glamored.

It’s not like Alec isn’t already used to seeing Magnus’s cat eyes. He’s seen them far too many times by now, so them being glamorless, unhidden, isn’t anywhere near new to him. If anything, he’s told Magnus to rid of the glamor when the two of them are alone, given he feels comfortable, of course, so it’s pretty common for him to come home after a long and draining day to find Magnus waiting for him, his gold-green eyes on display

But there’s something pure, and beautiful, and almost sacred, to see Magnus be so comfortable and open with him. He’s aware of how it’s been months since they two officially started dating, and how there isn’t something that special about this type of casual intimacy between them. Yet it never fails to make Alec’s heart flutter softly in his chest.

It’s like Magnus blinks up at him, and Alec remembers how lucky he is that he gets to love someone like Magnus, and to receive an equal amount of love back. It’s way more than Alec used to think he would ever get from someone.

Just then, when Alec’s lips are once again curled up to a smile of admiration as he looks at Magnus, is when Magnus lets out a small sigh, and lazily, gently, opens his eyes.

And then it’s all gold and green looking back at him.

Magnus scowls slightly when he notices Alec is staring, but Alec is smiling, so it’s hardly possible for him not to smile as well.

Alec lets his free hand wander over Magnus’s hair, messing them up even more, before delicatelly running it down the side of his face. Magnus leans into it, and almost purrs , the hairs at the back of his neck standing up from the contact.

“Good morning,” Alec murmurs. Magnus’s smile widens.

“Were you watching me sleep?”

Alec laughs. It comes out raspy, barely audible. “Maybe.”

Magnus then sits up and props his head up on his left arm. He disentangles his right from where he was hugging Alec’s upper body and instead lets it rest over his torso.

“You love doing that, Alexander, don’t you?”

Alec’s now rubbing small circles on Magnus’s bare back, leaving shivers everywhere his fingers lay. “I most definetely do.”

“Why?”

Funny question, Alec thinks.

As if there’s only one reason why he loves looking at Magnus. As if there’s only one thing Alec can pinpoint on Magnus and say that he loves most.

“Because,” he replies, “You look even more beautiful when you sleep.”

Magnus smirks and looks away, feigning dismissal. Alec, though, knows Magnus is trying (and failing) to hide the blush that’s creeping up his cheeks.

“Is that so?”

Alec nods softly. Magnus turns to look back at him, and it’s as though Magnus’s entire soul is hidden somewhere beneath that pair of eyes. He leans down to lay a kiss on Alec’s lips, featherly soft, only for him to pull back and for Alec to follow after him, intending to deepen and elongate the ghost of kiss Magnus started.

They end up making out, kind of sloppily, kind of languidly. As if they have all the time of the world and this kiss shall be the only thing that matters to them. At some point Alec doesn’t recall, focused as he is on the irreplaceable feeling of Magnus’s lips on his, Magnus lied down on his back and pulled Alec on top of him, so it’s only natural for the latter to full on climb on Magnus, with his legs straddling his waist.

It’s also only natural for Alec to start tickling Magnus at his sides, having newly gained access to most of his body.

Magnus pulls back from the kiss with a shocked gasp, and moves to stop Alec, grabbing at his arms defensively.

“Alexand--” he lets out a shaky laugh. “ Stop.”

Stop what?” Alec teases, without giving up his tickling.

“Get off of me, you-- you monster ,” Magnus yells, but he’s smiling as widely as he rarely does with people that aren’t Alec, and it’s too hard for Alec to keep it up, seeing him like that.

He gives in, lets Magnus’s hands stop him, and grins.

“I didn’t know you were ticklish,” he observes. 

Magnus rolls his eyes playfully. They’re glassy and crinkled, evidence of how he wasn’t entirely dissatisfied with Alec’s sudden tickle attack.

“That’s because I didn’t let you know, Alexander,” Magnus answers.

“And why is that?”

“Because you’d never let me off the hook for it, exactly like it happened now.”

Alec smiles, a full on, bright smile, and leans down to kiss him again. He then lets one hand hover over his waist, subtly, so Magnus won’t see it, and tickles once more, earning a yelp of protest that breaks off the kiss. Alec grins mischievously.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Magnus says, and flips them over, so it can now be him who’s straddling the other’s waist. Alec won’t stop laughing, though, so he tries to shut him up with a small peck on the lips. He doesn’t pull away completely after it, and instead lets his forehead rest on Alec’s, exhaling deeply.

The gesture calms them both, and their smiles fade away, while they’re left breathing each other in, eyes closed, foreheads aligned.

Alec feels at peace, he himself heaving for breath, his stomach clenching from laughter. He relishes at the feeling of Magnus’s weight over him.

It’s moments exactly like this one that there aren’t enough words for him to express what he feels for Magnus. It’s all too much, and it’s too real, and it sometimes scares Alec shitless because if love was new to him once, then this, Magnus, is new to him five more times.

And Alec often feels like his emotions for Magnus exceed what his soul and body are capable of. Their intensity, their zeal; far too fierce for someone who’s been taught to be emotionless to handle all at once.

“I love you,” Alec resorts to saying, “So much.”

He feels Magnus laugh kindly over him. “I love you way more.”

And that’s when Magnus pulls back, and stares sincerely into Alec’s eyes, nodding slightly, as if to furthermore prove his love for Alec.

And Alec wants to live in that moment forever.

Or at least, if forever isn’t possible, for him to wake up like that every, freaking day of his remaining life.

Until it hits him.

He can wake up like that every day of his remaining life. That is, if Magnus wants it too, of course.

Alec momentarily doesn’t understand how it took him that long to realize. He must have been blind.

All along, that realization was there for Alec to grasp on, and it only just now striked him, somehow.

In the simplicity of the moment, in the realness and the normality of it, Alec realizes he wants to marry Magnus.

Holy shit.

He wants Magnus to be his husband.

He wants them to start a family together.

To get the eternity given to them through a wedding ceremony.

Alec used to refrain from imagining himself in the position of even finding love, let alone becoming someone’s husband, but now he’s here, and he’s with Magnus, and there’s no one else he would rather spend his life with.

And it’s all too exhilarating and overwhelming to feel so suddenly.

Wow. Alec truly wants to marry Magnus.

He wants to propose to him.

He’s eventually going to propose to him.

“Alexander?” he hears Magnus call, but it’s as if from a distance.

He zones back to reality, and he realizes he must have been left speechless for longer than he was intending, because Magnus is staring at him with a worried expression clouding his features.

“Yeah, sorry,” he says hurriedly, “I zoned out a little bit.”

“I figured,” Magnus says, his face softening with a caring smile. “Do you want breakfast?”

Alec nods, unable to form actual words, seeing he’s still in disbelief about how the hell he couldn’t earlier tell that he wants to spend his forever with Magnus Bane.

Alec feels Magnus lift himself from over his lap, and is left looking at him as he makes his way to the kitchen, after putting on a pair of silk pants.

This, he thinks, this is the man I’ve chosen.

This is the man Alec wants to give his heart and soul to. No. Correction.

This is the man Alec has already given his heart and soul to.

And this is the man Alec wants to marry.

The man Alec is willing to dedicate his future to.

And he realizes that he could easily propose to him right then and there.

He could do it whenever he pleases, whenever his heart decides to. The possibilities are endless and limited only by Alec’s imagination.

He could easily walk up to Magnus right now, hug him from behind as he’s standing in front of the stove, heating up the pan, lean his head on his shoulder, and whisper two words on his ear, only for him to hear, as if they’re in the middle of a crowd.

Or he could do it on the kitchen table, when he’s sitting across Magnus, enjoying the breakfast he made for him. He could lean over to his side, a witty smile on his lips, and say it, eagerly awaiting Magnus’s response.

And if not that, he could always whisper it to him when at night they go to bed, after a long day of missing each other. He could say it right when Magnus curls up on his side, like he always does when he’s not the big spoon, or right before they fall asleep, curious as to whether Magnus even heard it in the first place.

Marry me.

But.

It’s not how Alec wants to do it after all.

He doesn’t feel like throwing the proposal in the air like that, without a genuine plan behind it.

Alec wants to plan it all to the detail, and he wants to find the perfect ring, and, God , does he want to get down on one knee and spill out a string of sappy words for Magnus to hear and tear up to, before posing the question.

All that Alec has seen in cheesy rom-coms Izzy makes him watch from time to time, he wants to do with Magnus.

Because, even though spontaneity would work just fine, Magnus deserves nothing but the sappiness and cheesiness that comes with a traditional, old-time-classic proposal.

Well, actually, Magnus deserves way more than, and Alec doubts he’ll ever be capable enough to give it all to him, but he’ll try.

And he’s willing to try.

And he’s willing to always keep on trying, during all of the infinity he’ll get with Magnus once the latter says yes.

Alec owes that effort to Magnus.

Alec even owes that effort to himself.