Dean shot up in bed, his green eyes wide with shock. The blue light…the Djinn…and now he was in bed? And by the looks of it…someone was in bed with him! As he trained his eyes on the figure, the lump moved slightly to face him.
“Dean…what are you doing up?”
Nothing could have shocked him more then this moment. After all the things he had seen…all the things he had fought…this was the most surprising.
His little brother blinked up at him, confusion clearly written on his face. He sat up, his bare chest slowly coming into view. It was hard for Dean to look anywhere else…but he tried his best.
“Are you naked under there?”
Sam threw his head back and laughed, the foreign sound echoing off the walls around them. Dean had never heard his brother laugh like that before…it sounded good from him.
“Yes Dean, I am naked underneath these covers. That sort of happens when you throw me into bed and ravish me for hours.”
“Oh dear God…”
“Dean! Where are you going?”
He had been in bed…with his brother…and they had had sex! Dean’s brain was running on high as he paced the living room. Picture after picture showed them hugging, holding hands…kissing…and his heart began to hurt. What he had always wanted…always wished for had come true! There was no way this could be real…it had to be the Djinn.
“Dean…are you okay? What’s wrong?” a voice behind him asked as long arms wrapped around his waist. Dean leaned back unconsciously as his eyes closed.
“Are you going to answer me?”
The chest beneath his head shook with silent laughter. Dean had to smile at it. It was all so new, but he felt like they had been this way for years.
“Dean…it’s 3 o’clock in the morning. Can we go to sleep now?”
“Please Dean, you know we have to go do Mom’s yard today and-”
Dean whirled around, breaking the comfortable embrace. His green eyes, glinting with tears, stared into his brothers.
“Mom? Mom’s alive? What about Dad? Is he here too?”
A hand cupped his cheek, effectively cutting off his questions. Concerned eyes roamed his face, taking in his expression.
“Dean…you know Dad died last year from stroke. Are you feeling alright?”
“I…I have to go…”
“Dean! Come back!”
Loving Husband & Father
“So your dead here too huh? That figures…but from a stroke? You are way too damned tough to be brought down that way…I was surprised…”
Dean stood in front of his father’s grave, a tear slipping down his cheek. So much had happened…his mother…looking just a young as she had been when he was a boy had greeted him with a hug and a kiss. He had mowed her lawn, had a beer, and joked and laughed with her. Sam had shown up, worried but glad he was alright. His mother had not been fazed when Sam greeted him with a kiss…she had smiled that sweet smile and told them to go wash up…they were going out to dinner. Then…that girl…with sunken eyes and cheeks…her clothes caked with mud and blood…he saw her and knew nothing would be the same…
“Why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy and I aren't supposed to live well and have our happily ever after? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?
“'Course, I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball, but...? So, go hunt the djinn. It put you here, it could put you back. Your happiness for all those peoples' lives? No contest. Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? I knew this wasn't real…but I wanted it to be. God Dad…I wanted it so bad! Why can’t I have this! Why can’t this be the way things are? Why do I have to be the one that has to sacrifice everything for people we don’t even know? I’m happy here…finally happy for the first time in my life…and I like it! I am finally with Sam here…like I have always wanted to be. It feels good to hold him…to tell him I love him…Dad…why do I have to do this?”
Dean wiped his eyes quickly with his hand, not liking the feel of the salty liquid on his face. He was never one to cry…
He turned and walked away, his hands in his pockets and his head down. He could feel a slight breeze ghost across his cheeks, drying the still trickling tears. A slight smile crossed his lips, wry and sullen. Even in death he was still there…telling him what to do…
They both stood in front of him…his beautiful young mother and the love of his life. Both were in shock as he held the knife to his chest, begging him to put it down.
“If I stay in here…I will just die out there…”
“But it will seem like years here,” Mary begged, her eyes filling with tears. She held out her arms, wanting to hug him but afraid to. Sam stepped closer, their eyes meeting and holding firm.
“We could be together, have a life together.”
“But it’s not real…”
“Why is it our job to save everyone?”
He knew…he knew then what he had to do. The moment those words came out of his brother’s mouth, his heart shattered in his chest. His eyes filled with tears, tears that he refused to shed.
“Sam…just once…once more…”
As those firm lips settled on his, seeking entrance and gaining it, pleasure shuddered through his body. What a way to go, with the one you love holding you close to him. The knife slid between them, and a sharp pain filled his chest.
“Dean! Dean wake up! Please! DEAN!”
“Auntie Em? There is no place like home…”
“Oh thank God! Let’s get you down from there.”
“Bitch…no getting soft on me…”
“Never Jerk…there isn't a soft bone in my body…”
That night, after they saved the girl and went on there merry way…Dean stared at his snoring brother. The way his chest rose with each breath he took, the way he twitched slightly as his dreams progressed. He looked peaceful…happy…and all Dean wanted to do was crawl into bed with him and hold him close. To wrap around his long body and never let go. But that would never happen…
“It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and, you know, it hurts like hell, but it's worth it.”
Sam had said that only hours before…and the words still echoed in his head. He had said it was all worth it…but it wasn't. Part of him was still in that wonderful made up world…and always would be…
“It may hurt like hell…but it will never be worth it…”
“Dean…what are you doing up?”
Those words…those same words that were whispered from his rumpled brother in his dreams were just spoken by is bleary eyed brother. Dean shook his head, trying to lift the clouds from his mind.
“Nothing bitch…go back to sleep…”