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The Disastrous and Heavy Handed Attempt #623

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"You don't think this is my fault, do you?" Eleanor asked as she and Chidi gazed out the window at the pouring rain. Lightning flashed in the sky followed by a roll of thunder that seemed to shake the ground beneath them.

"This is paradise and it's raining," Chidi said flatly.

Eleanor turned on him. "Some people like the rain. Just like some people enjoy tacky houseplants, or creepy clown paintings. Sometimes people like dumb shirt and we don't understand it. There are probably a hundred people in the neighborhood who are happy as sheep."

"That is a very good point," he replied, not sounding like it had been a very good point at all. Probably because he was the one who had saddled them with the aforementioned tacky houseplant, but what was she supposed to do? Quietly ignore the ugly monstrosity while it provided oxygen for the household?

Obviously not.

It was one of Michael's attempts to force Chidi into a new hobby. It turned out Chidi wasn't interested in horticulture, but was too anxious to turn down the plant from some other dimension when Michael offered it to him.

"It's literally one in ten billion," Chidi had said after Eleanor demanded it be removed from the house. "How am I supposed to say, 'no, Michael, I don't want your one in ten billion plant that you entrusted me to take care of'?"

"Just like that!" she had snapped back at him.

Present day Chidi sighed and turned away from the window. "I guess we're stuck in here until it stops raining or it floods so badly our house gets washed away." He plopped down on the sofa, right next to the plant. Its huge white flowers loomed over his head.

Eleanor sighed and sat down next to him. "What's up? Is it just the rain? Or the idea that rain is probably my fault and you're failing at helping me become a better person? Because that one's definitely on you."

He didn't even look up at her. He wiped his brow with one hand and shook his head. "It's hot in here, and I feel trapped. By the rain, by you, by all of the secrets."

Eleanor let out a very loud sigh. "That's tough, I get it, but would it help if I took off my top?" She paused considering her words, while Chidi just stared at her. "That wasn't what I meant to say. That's weird. I meant to say, would it help if you forked me in the butt?"

"That was worse," Chidi said, eyes wide.

"That was way worse, but I also don't hate the idea, which is..." She trailed off as her gaze wandered from Chidi's shocked face to the plant behind his head. What was once pure white blooms were now turning red deep in the awkward genital-looking part of the flowers, and the color was bleeding up into the petals. "Holy shirtballs. I think that plant is making me have weird, sexy thoughts."

Chidi's expression turned from shock to skepticism. "You can't blame the plant for your perversions." He turned and looked at the way the flowers were changing. "Oh, or maybe--"

One of the blooms pulled away from him as he looked right into it, and then with a very sneeze-like sound, blew pollen right into his face. He coughed and tried to wipe the dust from his face, but it was no use. He was already breathing it in, with deep panicked breaths.

Eleanor had backed up to the other end of the sofa during all of this, and had, in the midst of the action, taken off her top and bra because exposing her breasts seemed like the thing to do. Part of her mind knew it was the plant doing this, especially as it attacked Chidi with its sex pollen, but the rest of her mind simply did not care.

When Chidi turned to her, yellow pollen still in his eyebrows, he gaped. "This is your fault!"

"I think it's Michael's fault for giving you a sex plant, but I don't know what you're so mad about." She motioned to her breasts and gave them a little shimmy. "These are great."

"The plant is fine. You're the one who turned it into some sex monster with your actions." He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her closer to him. She yelped, but also she kind of liked it Assertive Chidi was a change and she was into it. He leaned in closer to her, his mouth so close to her ear she could feel his breath on her neck. "You've made paradise a living hell and you just get away with it. No more."

For a split second, Eleanor thought this meant he was going to turn her in, dragging her through the neighborhood, boobs out for everyone to see (or maybe completely naked, a thought that sent a thrill through her), but just as quickly that wasn't what was about to happen.

Chidi yanked her over his lap, and she could feel the straining bulge of his cock through his khakis against her stomach. His hand came down hard on her backside. It was cushioned through the layers of underwear and sweatpants, but it was still enough of a shock for her let out a surprised squeak.

"Are you seriously spanking me?" Eleanor asked. "This is your idea of a sexy punishment?"

He grabbed the waistband of her pants and yanked them down around her thighs, revealing her bare backside. "This," he said, pulling back his hand for another smack, "is just the beginning."

Directly against her skin, the pain of Chidi's flat palmed spank bloomed like the evil sex flower, spreading throughout her entire body in a mix of pain and pleasure. Eleanor could feel her clit throbbing for contact, but there was no way Chidi would let her jerk it while he was punishing her.

His hand came down on her again, and this time Eleanor cried out a ringing "Fork!" throughout the house as he left a burning handprint on her. Was Chidi some kind of weird spanking master? His hands were soft from years of book reading, but when they slapped against her skin, they were sharp. At the rate he was going, she was going to bruised in the morning.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this ridiculous scheme," Chidi said, slapping her backside with every other syllable. "You don't belong here, and you're ruining my death and well deserved peace because of it." Another slap. And another, each one sharper than the last.

"Holy shirt, forking motherforker," Eleanor muttered as she writhed on Chidi's lap, squirming both away from and toward his touch. The stinging pain now rang throughout not only her ass, but down her thighs and in the knowledge that their doors had no locks and at any second Michael or Tahani (oh, what Eleanor could do if Tahani got a whiff of their magic flower) could waltz into the house and see what was happening.

She didn't know if the idea scared her or aroused her more.

"I should tell everyone what you are," Chidi said, punctuating the end of his sentence with another smack. "I should take you out the middle of the neighborhood and let everyone have a go at you."

Eleanor moaned at the notion. "You want to the neighborhood gangbang me? You want to watch that? Everyone? Even Glen?"

That gave Chidi pause for a moment, but then he hit the same spot again, causing Eleanor to howl. "If it would make you learn a lesson, I'd let him go at your for days."

She was briefly aware of how possessive Chidi sounded at the prospect of letting others have her, and she kind of liked it, but she couldn't process it completely, because he stood up abruptly, sending Eleanor onto the floor. The rug felt like fire against her ass, and she rolled over onto her stomach with a cry. Her pants fell down around her ankles, but she didn't quite think about shaking them off.

Above her, Chidi unbuckled his belt, and let his pants fall down around his ankles. His cock protruded out from beneath his wrinkled shirttails. Eleanor twisted to look up at him and felt her mouth water at the sight of it, like it was an all you can eat shrimp buffet.

He dropped to the floor next to her and nudged her hips up with his knee. "You wanted to be forked, Eleanor? I'll fork you."

"I thought you'd never... tell me what you were going to do forcefully," Eleanor said as she struggled to get up enough for him to have access to her pulsating cunt. She scooted her lower half up on her knees and spread her legs as far as she could. "Magic flower Chidi is kinda hot."

"And you're absolutely no different than you usually are," Chidi replied as he pushed into her.

Eleanor groaned so loudly, she was sure the entire neighborhood could hear her. The relief of contact, the sensation of being completely full, and the prickly pain of Chidi's hands wrapping around her ass, it all came together for an ultimate pleasure that certainly hadn't been available to her when she was alive. She came almost immediately, and her mind cleared a little, but definitely not all the way, as Chidi continued to pound her.

"Chidi," she gasped, "doesn't this seem really weird?"

"Shut. Up," Chidi said through clenched teeth. He gave Eleanor's backside an admonishing slap. The sting shot through her, and she buried her face in the rug with a moan, briefly wishing that in addition to what was happening, she had her face shoved between Tahani's obscenely long legs.

When Chidi came, it was with a noise that sounded caught between a strangled bleat and an out of tune bugle. He flopped down on the floor next to Eleanor, and reached over take one of her breasts in his hands, her hardened nipple rubbing against his palm. The sensation sent sparks of new arousal throughout her body.

"How did you make the flower do that?" he asked. "Who have you been sleeping with?"

"I didn't do anything to make the flower do that," Eleanor replied, but her mind was already lost in the sensation of his touch. "Michael gave you a sex flower."

"Why would he do that?" Chidi asked. He didn't sound angry anymore, just a little tired and deeply satisfied. He pinched her nipple between two fingers and gently pulled at it.

Eleanor considered him for a second. If she wanted to eat out Tahani so badly, Chidi had to want to get between these thighs, right? When he didn't move, she sat up. She barely even registered the pain in her backside against the floor. "Oh my god. Chidi! We're in the Bad Place!"

"No," Chidi said, but then looked at what his hand was doing. He pulled it away. "How do you figure that? What do we do about it? Why am I here? What's--"

She placed a finger over his lips to shush him. "I have an idea. We're already in the Bad Place, so it can't get worse from here. We need get Tahani over here to see if she wants some of this flower action so I can get me some of that. Then we can confront Michael."

Chidi looked like he really wanted to protest. "The flower is an ethical nightmare, you realize that, right? We have no control over what we're doing, and we're going to purposely put Tahani in front of it."

"Yeah, but... if this is really the Bad Place, do we need to be ethical?"

He opened his mouth and then closed it again. He hesitated, and then tried to speak again, until finally he settled on, "I'll wait here."

Eleanor reached for her sweatpants, but Chidi grabbed her around the wrist to stop her. She looked over at him.

"No clothes."

"You nasty sex monster," Eleanor replied in an exaggerated whisper. She kicked off the remains of her clothes and jumped up. "Don't let that flower get anywhere. It's my new best friend."

As Eleanor ran across Tahani's perfectly manicured lawn, completely naked with a freshly spanked backside, she had to wonder: was the Bad Place really all that bad? And also, would Tahani want to give her a spanking too?