Pen to paper. It was an easy act in of itself, but the execution of it seemed to much for her to handle. Too many words could flow out and too many emotions could betray her. China always found writing letters simple – just a few words expressing gratitude or sadness yet here she could not bring herself to do it. She had to start somewhere, however simple the beginning was it had to at least start.
The writing stopped soon after, even though there are many things she wanted to say, China did not have the courage to keep on going. She put the pen down and stood up, deciding to leave the desk of her office and walk around the room, reading the spines of novels, biographies and essays that decorated the shelves around the room. Her current collection did not do justice to that which she lost years prior, but the rarity of some did bring joy to her as she knew that some of these books people would quite literally kill to get their hands on.
China could not decide on anything to distract her, the unwritten letter constantly luring her in out of the corner of her eye; a reminder not only of the past but what the impact of this letter would be on her future. She sat back down.
‘The past years have been stressful, considering that on multiple occasions I have either attempted to kill you or ruin your life. I know there are many differences in our world view now than in the past. It used to be so’ -
‘perfect. It was perfect when we both could worship the Faceless Ones together, offering ourselves to something greater than we could be. Now I know that there is little greater than myself, and that, while real, the Faceless Ones lack a certain finesse that I do when it comes to taking a person’s life.’
China breathed out a breath that was unconsciously held. She did not intend for any of this to be about the old Gods and their petty torture of man, she needed to focus.
‘You ruin me. There is not one day that the thought of what our past has meant to us has flashed into my head. I know that our relationship developed in a time of war and stress, and the acts we did together were justified by our beliefs and our connection. My issue lies in what it means to me now, and what it could mean to you now. What we built up and struggled through was over a lifetime of bonding, growing and loving together.
‘Our positions are clashing, I realise, the Church of the Faceless has only been welcomed because of the political implications it could have on my position, but I so deeply want to be with you again, making the world bow at our feet like they did. It will not work though. I know this, and so must you.’
‘My deepest love will always be yours.
~ Grand Mage Sorrows’
China took the paper and sealed it in an envelope. Pen was placed over the seal, and a sigil was drawn. It took China a few minutes to finish the fine details in it, but the letter could now only be opened by someone who shared a feeling of love with the creator of the marking.
Addressed to the Eliza. Someone in the sanctuary would find out where she was, but it was not in China’s best interest to go looking for that information for herself, eyes and ears at every turn – the expected. Her sincere hope that Eliza would get and read the letter burned at her ego, as China knew that Eliza was below her now. China was Grand Mage, she did not need the approval of an outcast believer to make her feel important.
She needed the love of her life to return.