“Oh, uh…” Doktor Frogg had never felt quite so burdened with a mixture of fear and disgust as he did right now. “It’s… Wonderful. I’ll, uh… I-- I’ll go try it on! R-Right now!”
Scampering off to Mama Menace’s guest bathroom, he closed and locked the door behind him. With a heavy, squeaky sigh, he looked down at the red, yellow and green flecked blue wool sweater in his hands. Even if the fabric was less atrocious, the Doktor couldn’t father why the neck was so large and saggy, lopsided on one side, and one sleeve was about as quarter the length of the other. Not to mention the garish red, green, white and black plaid the ‘D. F.’ emblazoned on the chest; The whole sweater was an itchy nightmare, but he could hardly tell Red’s mother that. He was still trying to get on her good side, considering he was dating her son.
After a suspiciously long stay in the bathroom, he finally managed to wrestle his way into the flocculent abomination, sidling out of the guest hall and hoping not to be caught. Of course, Red snagged him up in a bone-crushing bear hug the second he saw him.
“Oh, Doktor Frogg! You look so good!”
Maybe the Menaces really are evil. Doktor Frogg thought, only offering a shaky, nervous smile.
“It… It fits very well.” It didn’t.
Mama Menace perked up and smiled sweetly, rising from her seat at the piano and sauntering over to ruffle his crazy nest of blue hair.
“I’m glad you like it. Red asked for my help with it, but most of it is his doing.”
Oh. Well, that explained a few things. Red really was adept at most household things, but apparently not knitting. Or sewing? Whatever this would count as.
“It’s…” He could feel his face twisting into a grimace instead of the attempted smile he’d gone for, “Wonderful. Thank you.”
“You’re the best, Doktor Frogg. I wanted you to have the best.” Red beamed sweetly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a gift card to RottenCorps.com. “I figured the sweater was going to disappoint you, so I got you this, too!”
“Oh, oh, y-yes, this is… Much better.” That same manic smile that crossed his lips from time to time fell into place and Red couldn’t have been more proud.
“He’s definitely a keeper.” While Frogg heard the words, he barely registered them, excitedly bouncing around the room like he wasn’t old and in pain all the time.
“I thought so, too.” Red laughed, hugging his Mama tight. “I’m glad you like him.”
“I think he’s perfect for you, baby boy.”