It doesn't matter how it happened. Maybe Eren actually asked how she felt. Maybe she had finally told him. Or maybe she was just dreaming. It was just this raw moment that mattered, yanked from reality as the truest expression of her need.
Their blade holsters and engines had been put aside with all the day's obligations, just for the moment. Lying down together in her bunk, without them, was intimate—a best-friend sort of moment, just the two of them away from everything, and that alone made her whole body warm. But it was even better than that. As they lied facing each other, his expression was telling her that it would answer her questions. His body knew she wanted to ask him for something. He said, "show me."
Their mouths were inches from each other, breathing together, and Mikasa moved in to put a soft kiss on his lips. So gentle that it could be a friend kiss. When she pulled back, she was light-headed; even this moment would be enough for her, if it was all he was willing to give. But when she studied his eyes, she saw acceptance there. He was waiting for what was next.
She took her chances and moved in again, kissing him longer. And then again, in different ways. It was reaching the threshold of meaning something more, she knew. But he returned her kisses and just continued to watch what she would do. Another kiss, breathing hard through her nose, and she turned over onto him to deepen it. Hovering over him, she stopped holding back. He returned the kiss, and still, when she pulled away, she could distinguish only curiosity and the edge of submission in those big green eyes. And having a taste of those lips, of that edge, made her hungry. Now that she'd been allowed this one indulgence, it opened up the rest of her desire like flood gates.
Diving back down for another kiss, she was met with a low moan as he gave it back once again. "Eren," she breathed, in disbelief. Her hand found his stomach almost immediately in response, untucking his shirt as a matter of course so her skin could meet his skin. Fabric was an insignificant obstacle for her fingers. More quiet moans fuelled her exploration of his stomach while her lips stayed on his, and after she pulled back to see his eyes again, to see that they were now tinged with a little lust, something jolted inside her. She sat up and practically yanked his belt open before pulling him upright by the jacket, taking it off so she could undo the uniform gear. With straps loose now, she tugged everything down until his pants were at his knees, and then proceeded to ignore the whole contraption and push his legs back to his chest.
When her mouth found his ass, she let out a moan of her own: relief. Her tongue caressed him for a few luxurious moments before digging in, swirling, and she was only half listening to the high pitches Eren was emitting, because she was too focused. Every thought was in that tongue. After she'd worked him over a while, she started sucking the area instead, and she dared to glance up at him between his legs. Meeting his eyes with hers, when hers were so glazed over with sex, was a sort of admission. She was so hungry.
She straightened up to her knees, and when his eyes just followed her, and his legs stayed put, she felt a lurch in her stomach at how lucky she was in this moment, to have her questions answered. She wasn't sure why, but his answer was yes. She was being allowed exactly what she wanted: to have Eren. His whole body screamed permission even though he didn't move it an inch.
The fire in her was roaring by now. Eren was letting her, and that was the only thing that mattered. She got her fingers lubed up impatiently and pressed them against his hole, transfixed by his face and watching him carefully as she pressed in. Ready to pull back at any sign of pain. She was so afraid of hurting him. She eased him in, watched him submit to the idea. Watched him relax completely by the time she was sliding her fingers in and out and stretching his hole to ready him for what was next.
She tore herself away to get her dildo to strap on, which she secured in place with confidence building inside her. It was perfectly at home amidst all of the straps from her uniform that still snaked around her legs. She shed her jacket but couldn't bring herself to remove her scarf, letting it remain instead on her blouse. After she had gotten the dildo as wet as it could be, she had the divine pleasure of sliding it inside Eren.
His eyes widened and he panted a bit as he got used to taking it, and once he was, she was fucking him. Actually fucking him, and she couldn't believe it. She held onto his thighs to push them back and facilitate her need. Each thrust made her wetter and wetter. She relished how vocal he was being, how loud he was about every movement.
"Eren," she breathed again. "Is it good?" He could only give a broken moan, and then nod. She reached for his cock, under the white pants still bunched up around his shins. She almost didn't want to disturb the sight of it resting on that perfectly messy hair, but she wanted the heat in her hands. And feeling it there was a million times more satisfying. Every throb was his permission, as well as his need for release. Every throb was the energy building up inside him for a change, rather than bursting out in anger.
To improve the angle, she reached for the extra pillow next to him and slipped it under his butt. He had lifted his hips to allow it when he saw what she was doing. And once it was there, she did away with the rest of the straps and pants hanging from his legs, pausing her actions to toss them all to the side, and then leaning her body in parallel to his, where she started thrusting steadily. She propped up on her arms just enough to see him as she did, and the softness in his eyes at once both egged her on and drew her down, to give him a soft, sweet kiss, all the while becoming more relentless below.
She noticed him holding his legs back with his arms, and it made her heart jump. He was being so accomodating. His permission just let her lose herself in it. The chemicals were rolling inside her mind, stirring her up. Allowing her descent further into her lust. "Are you submissive for me, Eren?" she asked, in the heat of the moment. His brows furrowed and he panted once before giving a sort of low, useless whimper. It drove her to take him faster. Now that she had this, she was pushing it as far as she could. The words lingered around them, building up every thrust with more stimulation. She watched him recede further into himself through his eyes the longer she fucked him. It was like taming a lion.
She covered his neck with kisses, each one overflowing with her gratitude, as she ground her strap-on into his prostate as much as she could manage, to drive him into insanity, and finally made him spill all over himself with a shout.
She placed another kiss on his lips, sealing the moment. Kneeling up to look and seeing him spent, a kind of zen began to wash over her. His orgasm was an extension of her own pent up energy, and bringing him to it was all she needed. And for Mikasa, seeing his energy subdued was a gift in itself.
She collapsed next to him to remove her strap-on and soon noticed that he was looking over at her. Before she could say anything, he moved closer, to her side, and held her around the waist as he pressed his face into her shoulder.
She held him instinctively and stared up at the ceiling, thinking. Surprised. "Eren," she said. Unsure what his affection meant. Maybe it was his acceptance, but maybe it was a question of his own. "Are you alright?" she asked.
There was a quiet moment before his voice answered. "Yeah." But she heard something in it.
Was he trying to make sense of this? No. She'd seen his connection with her. This was something else.
It took a moment before something clicked: after her lustful words and actions, he needed reassurance. That's what this was. A kind of aftercare. Eren needed something from her that was different from what she needed, and it manifested in this moment. He was the sweetest thing in the world and it made her heart ache. She loved him even more. "Eren," she said softly, voice full of affection. She ran her fingers through his hair. "I love you."
He pushed his face into her scarf, but didn't say anything. She didn't expect him to. They just breathed heavily together.
Mikasa wouldn't have dared to ask for more. She had gotten what she craved already. But in the stillness of the moment, Eren's hand moved gently lower on her, offering. She looked at him with surprise. Trying to interpret his motive. In a moment of curiosity and weakness, she brought it between her legs and let his fingers rub. It elicited a moan out of her instantly. He undid her pants for her and wormed his hand in, beneath the tightness of the straps, to brush her wetness. She gasped quietly. His touch was electric to her. He sat them up to get better access and moved behind her now, as support. She guided his hand a little more, and felt his fingers explore her and inch their way closer to where she wanted them. Unlike him, she didn't need the preparation. But she almost forgot to breathe when he slid them right in.
Eren's fingers inside her were gentle and strong and giving and Eren. So very Eren. She let go completely and melted back into his chest, head back on his shoulder, letting out a desperate whine. She let him work out all of her built-up need, the need from her fingers and her tongue and her strap-on, feeling one orgasm pool in her brain as she clamped down around him. When her love of those fingers was too much, she made him take them out and then let him work her up one more time with just his thumb brushing against her, just as gently and steadily. Her limbs went collectively weak in a rare moment of total vulnerability, because all of her energy was in directing the flow in her brain. When the want and the love and the awe came together with the satisfaction, it took everything she had to sort it all out and then come crashing down in his arms again, breathing heavy and shaking before she could begin to regain herself. Eren just held her steady.
The headiness swirling in her brain finally came to a stall when she worried she had taken too much. Because that, too, had been for her. But when she had enough strength to turn around and embrace him properly, she looked in his eyes again and saw what her lust had done for him. How after it brought him flying up away from earth, it landed him back down again with renewed stability. He had not only purpose, but momentary relief. He had peace.
Their relationship was one of symbiosis, she knew. The two of them had become inextricably woven together over time, and their needs were channeled back and forth naturally. And so she shouldn't have been surprised now. But it was more than she could have hoped for to have her deepest lust satisfy his deepest stresses. It meant that this, too, could become part of their fabric—because taking Eren was also giving.