I'm woken to screaming. Blood curling, heart wrenching, agonising screaming. I dive out of bed, Liam close on my trail and I burst straight into nialls room. I find him. On the bed. Hands clawing at the duvet below him. Head thrashing left to right. Stomache and pelvis raising and falling onto the bed. As his legs kick out like he's being held down. I freeze. He looks possessed. Like someone has taken over his mind and body and is controlling him.
"Arrghhh. Papa!" He screams and it's what I needed to snap me out of my trance like state.
"Ni- ni baby- what's wrong? Where does it hurt baby? Tell papa and I'll make it better" I rush out as I soothe his head softly with my hand. I sit on the edge of his bed and wait. Wait whilst he calms down. Wait as he's curling in on himself clutching his stomache like he's being stabbed repeatedly with a dull blade piercing his delicate skin and penetrating his organs.
"My- tummy- ouch papa- it hurts!" He cries and I feel my heart break as I wipe tears from his pale little cheeks.
"Come on baby- let's get you to hospital" I decide in that moment I'm not waiting. Niall isn't waiting. Not in this much pain. Not for an ambulance to take 4 hours to get here.
"It hurts" he whimpers.
"I'll be so careful babe. So so careful" I whisper as I pick him up from the bed bridal style. He wraps an arm around my neck and burrys his face in my chest as he sniffles quietly. Whispers leave his soft pale lips and my heart shatters at the thought I could be hurting him more by moving him.
"Liam? Can you get the door? Or the car? or something?" I snap at Liam who hasn't moved from his spot near the door.
"Sorry- course" he mumbles as he faces to the front door. He unlocks and opens it before I step out. He closes and locks the door behind me and niall then runs to open the car door.
I sit in the back with nialls head on my knee as I stroke his soft messy blonde hair. Liam drives.
"Hurts papa" he murmers as more tears leak down His face and splash onto my stripey pajama bottoms. I now realise we're all still in out night clothes. Not that I care.
"I'm sorry baby. I'm right here. We'll get you to a doctor and make these pains disappear" I whisper into his hair before pecking his cold head. A minute later niall stops crying. He drops speaking. He drops moving. He's still breathing, I can feel the warmth of his breath hitting my chin. But it's faint.
Liam drops us at the doors and helps me get niall out before parking the car. I run into the middle of the reception for A & E and shout.
"Help! Please I need a doctor! My son needs medical treatment" as I carry nialls now limp body in my arms.
"Sir please calm down-" a lady on reception tries to calm me down.
"-i'll calm down when my son wakes up! Help me please" I beg.
"Whats the problem?" A tall young man asks as he approaches us.
"My son- he's had pains in his stomache and he won't wake up!" I half snap half cry.
"Okay- come this way" he says urgently and leads me into one of the side rooms.
"Lay him here for me" he instructs and I lay him on the small bed.
"I'm doctor harry styles. What's his name?" He says as he checks his breathing and airways.
"Niall. He's 14" I whimper, covering my mouth with my Hand as he runs to the door shouting "I need help in here. Code 3. I repeat. Code 3! I need you to wait outside-"
"- I am not leaving my boy!" I shout.
"Sir. We're doing everything we can. I'm doing everything I can. But I need to focus on niall now. You to trust me. Please wait outside" is all Harry says before I'm shown to the family waiting room where liam is sat waiting.
I'm not sure how much time passes. I just know Liam is holding me tight as the tears slowly shed from my eyes and drip on to my hands.
"He'll be okay-"
"-you don't know that liam. You aren't a doctor" I mumble and shrug his arms off me. He doesn't understand.
"Don't push me away louis" he half warns half begs.
"Then don't pretend you understand" I shout and stand to pace the room.
"Why don't I take you home-"
"- I'm not leaving with out niall" I snap.
"The doctors are doing everything they can. Even if one of them looks 12" he grumbles.
"Harry will help my son. You didn't see the determination in his eyes. He'll help niall" I say firmly.
"I'll get us some coffee" he sighs and leaves the room abruptly. I sigh and sit back down.
Liam comes back a while later. Whilst he's gone I've paced the room. I've organised the magazine's alphabetically. I've asks the nurse 4 times if there's any news. I've watched the 4 stupid fish swim around the stupid round tank.
Liam doesn't speak and neither do I. I don't have anything I want to say and I don't think Liam knows what to say. We sit and nurse our coffees.
"Mr Tomlinson?" I hear the slow raspy voice of doctor styles.
"Where's niall? Is he Okay?" I rush out and meet him at the door.
"He's stable. Please take a seat" he says calmly. I sit on the sofa in the waiting room and Harry sits opposite me and Liam sits next to me but keeps his distance. I frown at him for it and he looks away from me.
"Okay so first things first- niall is Okay. He's stable and awake- hes resting a the moment and yes you can go in and see him. I've done tests for allergic reactions, checked his lungs, kidneys and liver and we're just waiting on the results which you will get in a few hours. My collegue is going to tell you as soon as they're in-" Harry begins to explain.
"-why not you? You're treating my son- why won't you be getting the results?" I frown.
"I've been taken off treating niall-" he says quietly.
"-why!? You're the one doing everything you can to help him- why have you been pulled off this?"
"A complaint has been made that I'm too personally involved and it's clouding my professional judgment. The case has been handed over to doctor Zayn Malik and Doctor Ellie Goulding. They're both senior doctors and have extensive experience-"
"-i don't want them treating my son! They won't help him you will. You promised you'd help him" I argue.
"I'm sorry- there's nothing I can do- the complaint has been made and I'm been pulled off. I'm sorry Mr Tomlinson- it's out of my control"
"Who complained? I certainly didn't and I'm nialls father- if I don't have an issue with you then no one else opinion is relevant" I snap.
"Lou- I did what I thought was best for niall" Liam whispers.
"You complained about my son's doctor?" I snap and whip my head around to face him. He shys away from me.
"I was worried he didn't have to experience for it-"
"-that's not your call! He qualified same as everyone else meaning he's qualified enough to treat him. How dare you interfere with my son. You have no right to make these decisions!!" I shout at him.
"I was trying to help-"
"- You can help by with-drawing your complaint so harry can treat my son!" I shout and storm out of the room.
I pace the corridor and growl at myself.
"-unless you've with drawn yoyr statement do not talk to me" I snap and turn away from him to find a nurse.
"Hi- which room is Niall Tomlinson in-house I'm his dad" I smile at the lady.
"23B" he smiles back after checking the computer and clicking a few buttons.
"I'm off to see niall. Don't follow me" I grunt at Liam and head off down the corridor.
I enter the small room and see niall laid in bed with a drip in his arm and a sleep look on his face.
"Hey papa" he smiles.
"Hey baby. How're you feeling?" I whisper softly ad I sit on the chair next to his bed and stroke his head gently.
"My tummy hurts still but not as much" he sighs and I see his eyes dropping slightly.
"Hey some rest darling. I'll be right here when you wake up" I reassure him.
"Where's the other doctor?" He mumbles
"He's not treating you anymore but his friends are and they'll look after you" I explain as calmly as i can.
"Okay pap" he yawns before sleep takes over. I keep stroking his hair gently and that's how the doctor finds me an hour later.
"Mr Tomlinson- I'm doctor malik- I've taken over the treatment of your son niall. The bloods have come back and so have the allergy test- they're both clear. His lungs and liver are both find as are his kidneys so there isn't any posing threat" he says simply.
I don't like this docotor.
"No threat. My son screamed the house down from pain and you're telling me there's nothing wrong?" I snap.
"Sir we've done all the tests we would normally do based on the symptoms described and the tests have all come back clear" he says.
"Then do more tests! Find out why my boy is sin pain and fix it" I shout. I feel niall shift under the hand still playing with his hair and I card my fingers through even softer to relax him.
"Sir- that would be a waste of resources-"
"- my son is not a waste of resources. He is Ill and your job is to help him. It's what you get paid for"
"Sir there's no point doing unnecessary tests-"
"-they're aren't unnecessary if they find out what's wrong!"
"I'd like to speak with Niall- I've done a degree in psychology and sociology and I'd like to speak to him. With him bring a minor - you would need to give consent"
"He doesn't need a brain doctor" I grit my teeth.
"See it more as a way to open up about things- see what he's feeling and thinking"
"If I agree to this you have to do what ever tests are possible until you find the problem and fix it" I Warn.
"Of course" he smiles.
"It's up to niall. If he says no that's the end of it" I mutter and turn to my boy.
"Niall babe- wake up for me please" I whisper and shake his shoulder gently.
"Am I in trouble papa?" He yawns and rubs his eye with his fist.
"No of course not. This is the new doctor treating you and he's sort of a psychiatrist. He wants to have a chat with you. You don't have to if you don't want do-it-yourself it's your choice babe"
"What's a py- syac- trasis?" He frowns as he struggles to pronounce the occupation.
"He's a brain doctor" i say simply.
"Kay- only if you stay in the room" he whispers.
"Niall this works best if it's just me and you. You may find it easier to talk to me about things more openly" doctor malik says.
"Fine" niall sighs.
"Okay" he sighs "let's begin. Mr Tomlinson" he says curtly as my cue to leave and sits next to niall on one of the chairs.
Niall sits up slightly and I squeeze nialls hand gently and leave the room.
"Niall- how do you feel having two dad's? That must be hard for you. Kids can be mean. Do they pick on you for it?" I ask softly and write down the question on my clip board.
"Liam isn't me dad. He's married to my dad but- he isn't- I mean i don't call him dad" niall mumbles.
"Why not? I mean if your dad is married to Liam it must be serious why don't you associate him as a guardian?"
"Dunno. I sometimes feel like- Liam doesn't want me. I mean It's stupid but I feel like- he married me dad cos he loves him and I'm just part of the package. Like- when you buy a magazine and get free stuff in it that you didn't particularly want but it's free so you keep it" he explains.
"And that must upset you. To feel unwanted?" I press.
"I guess" he shrugs and clams up.
"What about your mum? I haven't seen her visit you. Where's she?"
"She left. When I was 9" he sighs.
"Can talk me through that?" I ask as I write everything down so far.
"Me mum and dad split when I was 'bout 6. One morning she said she had to go out and I wasn't allowed to go with her. She dropped me at me dad's house and he was out at the time. She told to me sit on the door step and wait for him and she'd be back soon. Me dad came back 'bout 4 hours later and found me sitting there in me spider man pyjamas and when he called her- her phone was off. She'd done a runner" niall explains Then adds "haven't seen her since".
"That must have been hard niall" I sympathise.
"It was I suppose. But me dad's great so I'm not really bothered" he shrugs and smiles at me.
"So that brings us to your dad and Liam? It must be hard for you. After your mum leaving- to realise that Liam doesn't want you?" I press.
"Yeah. I sometimes wish it was just me and me dad. Go back to how it was before liam. But loans okay he means well and he makes me dad happy - so- I'll get over it" he shrugs again.
"Is that where the stomach pains came from?"
"Huh?" He frowns.
"You must know that your dad loves you and if you were in pain he'd drop everything or everyone- and make his top priority? It makes sense you're doing this for attention" I suggest.
"I'm not Making this up" he snaps.
"Well you're losing your dad- what better way to keep him- than to feign illness"
"I'm not faking it- my stomache hurts" he snaps, a few tears making their way down his face.
"Okay- well I'll leave you to rest then" he smile and leave the room promptly.
"So what's the verdict?" I rush out as soon as the doctor leaves the room and enters the hallway.
"Mr Tomlinson- niall feels left out. He feels that Liam doesn't want him and he's losing you- this Is a ploy for attention" he says bluntly.
"No. Niall wouldn't do that. If he wants wants attention he gets it he would never pretend to be ill." I snap. I know my son and he wouldn't do that.
"He told me about his mum leaving him and he feels pushed out-"
"- don't you dare do that. I know niall and this isn't his style. He wouldn't lie about anything never mind something this big" I snap and head in to see niall.
"Baby what's wrong?" I gasp as I see his tear stained cheeks.
"That doctor said I was lying- I'm not- I'm lying papa" he cries and I hug him close to me being careful of his tummy.
"I know baby. It's okay- shhh. You're not in trouble. I know you're not lying baby"
"Where's the other doctor he believes me" niall whispers.
"He's- not allowed to treat you. Someone made a complaint and- he's not allowed" i explain vaguely.
"But he listens to me" niall frowns "who complained?"
"Liam thought it would be better if you had a more experienced doctor" I sigh.
Niall frowns but doesn't say anything.
"I'm not happy either baby but as long as they make you better- it doesn't matter who treats you" I soothe.
"Kay papa" he mumble and offers me a small smile and I kiss his fore head.
"Is your tummy any better?" I ask softly
"Sore but it's not too bad at the minute" he whispers as sleep once again takes over.
"Get some rest babe. We'll take about Liam tomorrow" I whisper as I card my fingers through his hair.
Please leave feedback!! I love reading your comments so much!!
My stomache has settled down a bit and isn't as sore. It hurts more that the doctor thinks I'm lying that the physical pain.
"Hey niall- can I come in?" A deep voice asks as I'm just waking up. I recognise the voice and the face but I can't put a name to it. I nod my head gently and the man sits on the chair next to my bed.
"Hi niall. I'm doctor harry styles. I treat you initially when you came in to A&E" he smiles.
"You're the one Liam complained about" I piece together in my brain.
"Yes- Liam wanted a more experienced doctor to treat you-"
"- no he didn't. He knew you were good at your job and wanted someone less observant" I but In.
"What do you mean?" He asks gently.
"Why're you here? Are you allowed to be here" I change time subject.
"I'm here to see you're okay. And yes I am allowed to be here in just not allowed to be involved with your medical treatment"
I don't reply but sigh softly.
"Niall- you can talk to me-"
"- I've already spoken to a brain doctor and he said I'm lying for attention" I snap.
"You've seen a psychiatrist?" He frowns and stands to look at my charts at the bottom of my bed. He flips through the pages, reading the information as he goes and frowns even more.
"He called me a liar" I whisper.
"He had no right to speak to you. Not until all the tests have been done and the results are back. There are still loads of tests they can do" he frowns.
"He said it's cos I'm jealous of Liam"
"You don't get get on with Liam -do you?" He asks slowly and sits back down on the chair.
"He hates me" I shrug.
"I'm sure that's not true" he says lightly.
"It is. I heard him on the phone talking to some guy saying that he's only putting up with me cos he loves me dad and that I'm in the way all the time. He said he never wanted me and he wishes my mum would have taken me with her when she left"
"Does your dad know this?"
"Niall you need to tell him. You shouldn't have to put up with things like that"
"Me dad's happy. That's all I want. If he's happy I'm happy" I smile softly.
"Niall you're a child. You shouldn't have to put up with grown up things like this"
"I just want me dad to be happy. But I don't trust liam" I whisper as the door opens and my dad and Liam walk in. I notice Harry trying to catch my gaze and he's frowning at me. I purposely avoid his gaze.
"Feeling any better darling?" My dad asks as he and Liam sit on the other two chairs.
"Yeah. A bit. Harry just came to check on me" I explain when I see Liam staring at Harry suspiciously.
"Awe. That was nice of you- thank you" my papa smiles.
"It's no problem. I should be getting going. I can visit you again if you'd like niall?" Harry offers as he stands to leave.
"I'd like that" I smile and meet his eyes. I can see that he has questions he wants answering.
"Niall babe we have yo go now. Visiting times are over. But I'll be back first thing Yeah?" Papa smiles and kisses my head.
"Course. I love you papa"
"I love you more babe"
"I'll get you some water before we go" Liam smiles and takes the jug as I give my papa a cuddle.
I thank Liam as he pours me a glass, and they leave as i take a drink before playing candy crush on my phone until my eyes burn and I fall asleep mid-level.
Doctor malik comes in halfway through the night to check on me and I tell him to go away.
I don't want him inside my head again calling me a liar. Being a liar is all well and good but I can't act for shit so I wouldn't get very far if I was pretending. Luckily he leaves and I go back to sleep.
"How's he been?" I ask as I enter the reception on nialls ward.
"He's been fine. Slept most of the way through the night and has had some pain relief not long ago"
"That's good. Can I see him?" I smile at the nurse.
"Of course" she nods and I head over to his room.
"I'll get us some drinks. Do you think niall will want one?" Liam asks. I think he feels a bit useless as he's not actually related to niall but I appreciate his support.
"That would be lovely. Hot chocolatefor ni. Thanks babe" I peck his lips soflty before entering my baby's room.
Hey babe. How are you?" I whisper as I enter nialls room. I can tell he's just woken up as his hair is all over the place and he has a sleepy look on his face as he gazes at me with half closed eyes.
"M 'kay" he yawns and I chuckle softly. He doesn't half sound like his mum when he's just woken up. You wouldn't be able to guess he's only half Irish.
"Can we talk about liam?" I sigh.
"Where is he?" He asks looking around.
"Getting coffee. He's getting you a hot chocolate. Doctor malik said you feel like Liam doesn't want you. Is that true?"
"Sometimes" he mumbles. Looking at his interlocked hands.
"Why didn't you say anything?" I gasp. How dare my son feel unwanted. Again. How dare I make my boy feel unwanted like that bitch of a mother of his.
"Didn't wanna cause arguments" he shrugs, still not meeting my eyes.
"Niall you should have told me. Liam loves you, we both do!" I say firmly.
"Kay papa" he nods but doesn't say anything else.
"You believe me- don't you?"
"I believe you love me. I think- mine and loans relationship might take a bit of time- for me to get used to"
"That's understandable. You're not used to two dad's huh?" I laugh gently.
"No" he grins softly at me then his eyes flick to the door as Liam enters with our drinks.
"Hot Chocolate for the patient. Tea for you and coffee for me"
"Thanks liam" niall smiles as he takes the cup and has a small sip. He grins even wider and has a bit more.
"No problem- babe I have to go in for a few hours-"
"-really? Don't they know what's happened?!" I snap. I can't believe he's going to work like nothings happened.
"He's fine now! Look we can't afford for me get fired okay? A few hours and I'll be back" he sighs, pecks my head and leaves.
"Yeah niall?" I smile.
"I don't feel too bad at the moment. You could go to work if you need to. Long as you come back" he grins and haves another drink.
"Are you sure?" I frown. I mean he looks okay but you can't see stomach pains.
"I'm sure" he nods
"A few hours and I'll be back. I promise. I love you niall" I kiss his cheek then nose and he giggles.
"Used to do that when I was little"
"You still are little. My little boy" I whisper and smooth some of his hair down. I give him a tight hug then make my way over to the door.
"I love you too papa" niall calls and I blow him a kiss.
The drive to work is quiet as everyone is already where they need to be. There's hardly any traffic or other cars and I'm there within 10 minutes.
"Mr Tomlinson- we weren't expecting you in. How's niall?" Megan asks as I get to my desk.
"I'm only in for a few hours to catch up. Tell clients I'm out though- don't want to be interrupted. And nialls better thank you" I smile at her and set about checking my emails.
Megan is lovely. She's new and still a bit unsure of things but she's hardworking. She doesn't complain. She doesn't take ages to learn something new. You show her something and she's got it. Fast learner. But very organised as well.
I check my emails and dictate a few letters to be typed. I also issue pleadings and service notices for some court documents. I notice megan is on the phone and i wait a moment to let her know. about to grab some lunch. I don't get chance. She hangs up quickly and rushes over saying "nialls taken a turn for the worse"
That's as far as she gets before I'm racing down the corridor and launching myself down the stairs. The elevator takes too long and I don't have time to wait. Why did I leave him. I should have known something was wrong. I should have stayed like a good dad would have. I should have known he wasn't right. Except- he was. He was fine.
I get in the car and take the back roads to the hospital. They don't have traffic lights and other cars so I can drive faster and slightly less - legally.
I park up quickly and run into reception.
"Where's niall?! What's happened?" I snap at the doctor walking past.
"He's been sedated"
"You've sedated my son?" I snap.
"He was throwing up uncontrollably and wasn't breathing properly. We had to sedate him to calm his breathing. He's also been complaining of stomach pains so we've given him some painkillers to ease that" he explains.
"What happened? He was perfectly fine" I snap again. Slightly more relaxed now I know he's okay.
"We think he's taken something" the doctor says slowly.
"No. Niall isn't like that. He wouldn't take drugs or anything else you're accusing him of"
"You said he was fine?"
"He was. He told me to go to work as he was feeling better"
"Or go to work so he could get you out of the way to take something" he suggests.
"No. That's not my son" I snap and walk away from him to see Niall.
He looks so small. So tired and small. His body is limp and lifeless as he sleeps in the over sized bed. His tiny pale chest rising and falling as he breaths slowly.
"Baby what's wrong with you" I whisper as I fall into the chair next to his bed.
I sit by nialls bed for god knows how long. He doesn't wake from his dreamless sleep but I'm glad, he needs to rest. To gain his strength. I feel awful for not being here whilst he was sick. He hates throwing up. Always cries and shouts for me. My heart breaks knowing that's what would have happened. Only I didn't come and comfort him. I didn't reassure him everything is okay. I wasn't there.
Niall whines softly in his sleep and shuffles until he's further under the cover. He then frowns and holds his tummy gently and i know. I know he's not lying. He couldn't. Well he could- but he WOULDN'T.
"How is he?" Liam asks softly as he enters the room and sits next to me. He takes my Hand in one of his large warm ones and kisses the back of it.
"No change from when I called you. He's just resting" I sigh. I called Liam after I got to the hospital and knew niall was okay. He came straight over.
"Do they know what it is?" He asks slowly.
"No. Well- they think he's taken something- for attention" I sigh but whisper so niall doesn't wake up.
"You know that's ridiculous -niall wouldn't do that" he whisper shouts.
"I know that. It's them who don't" I whisper shout back and wave vaguely towards the door.
"Maybe- maybe he just took a turn. Can't they do more tests?"
"They can but they don't- they don't believe there's actually anything wrong. They think he's making it up. You know he isn't and I know he isn't. But they're having none of it" I mumble and wipe away the few tears threatening to fall.
"Babe don't cry- we can fix this- we know niall isn't capable of lying and- we'll go private if we have to- I'll work three jobs to pay for it- we'll get him sorted" Liam smiles at me and pulls me into his chest.
"Thank you liam. I don't know what I'd do with out you" I mumble.
"Papa?" Niall grumbles and rolls over in his sleep. Liam and I chuckle and decide to get a coffee whilst he rests.
"Mr Tomlinson?" A vocie calls as we're about to leave the ward niall is on. I turn around and see doctor styles holding a clip board.
"Doctor styles- can I help you?" I mumble and turn around, giving Liam a confused look as I go. He smiles at me and squeezes my hand.
"I just wanted to let you know. I'm back on nialls treatment- the complaint was retracted meaning I can treat him" he smiles and nods at liam.
"You- what? When?" I grin.
"I know how much you wanted him because you believe he's the best to help niall. And niall is your son- it's your call on who treats him" Liam smiles.
"He's our son" I correct him but hug him tightly as a thank you.
"I'm going to run more bloods see of anything flags up from his latest turn. I'll let you know as soon as the results are back" Harry smiles and shakes both mine and loans hands before leaving.
"Thank you. I know it must have been hard for you- swallowing your pride- but I really appreciate it. Also, thank you for being here. I know you have no obligation because niall isn't technically yours but- I appreciate you being here for us both" I say honestly.
I've been a nightmare since niall was brought in. I've only thought about nialls pain and how I feel about it. I haven't considered liams feelings in any of this. I've been rude and snappy and neglectful to him and he was still willing to take on three jobs so niall can be treat privately.
"He might not biologically be my son. But I see him as my own. I'd do anything for him and for you. You both mean to world to me and I want to protect you both at any cost. Even if it means swallowing my pride" he smiles.
"I love you" I whisper.
"I love you. Now let's get a coffee and maybe get niall a sandwich? Maybe juice to settle his stomach" he thinks out loudly and we head off towards the cafe.
It's nice to have a little break. As much as o love niall- and I really do!- im tired. It's mentally and emotionally and physically draining seeing him in pain and not being able to help him.
After a short break we head back up with nialls lunch and a car magazine for him to read if he gets bored.
"Hey babe" I greet him and hand over the bag. He takes it slowly, like he has no energy and is weak and tips out the contents on his bed.
"Thanks guys" he smiles and nibbles the sandwich. Not eating much- a sure sign he's ill.
"Can I come in?" Doctor styles asks politely as he knocks on the door and pokes his head around to see us.
"Course yeah" I reply, looking at niall for confrimation. He shrugs and has a small drink of the orange juice I got him.
"So we have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that your blood tests have come back showing signs of an allergic reaction. The good news is- we can confirm that's the problem. Niall I'm sorry to tell you this- you're allergic to chocolate" he says firmly.
"Chocolate?" Niall frowns.
"Yep. Your bloods have come back with traces of allergens and when we tested they confirmed 100% you're highly allergic to chocolate. Specifically the coco in chocolate"
"I got you a hot chocolate from Greggs!" Liam gasps. "I'm so sorry niall I had no idea"
"It's okay- neither did i" niall smiles softly and a little awkwardly.
"So- im putting you on some anti-allergy tablets to ease your stomach quicker and make you feel better in yourself. I want to keep you in for a few days to make sure you're reacting well to the treatment but other than that- you're on the mend niall" Harry smiles.
"Thank you- thanks for treating me" niall smiles and shakes his hand softly. I notice him blush and think it's cute that niall has a little crush on harry. Of course I'd never let anything happen. Harry is far too old. But it's cute to witness.
Harry shakes my hand and Liam sees him out.
"So- he's cute" I whisper to niall like it's our little secret I know he likes him.
"He smells good" niall giggles softly.
"How old do you think he is?"
"Dunno? 'Bout 25?" Niall shrugs.
"You do know I'm never letting you date a 25 year old- right?"
"What 'bout when I'm 25?" Niall challenges with a smirk.
"I'll think about it" I joke and we both have a small laughing fit.
"What did I miss?" Liam smiles as he joins us.
"Niall fancies harry" I say bluntly then cover my mouth as though I said it by accident.
"Papa! Don't tell people!" Niall whines.
"Never gonna happen. He's far too old" Liam says firmly.
"Liam!" Niall whines and flops face down in the bed- im guessing it's to hide his bright red cheeks.
We stay for a while longer before the nurse brings niall some medication in to settle his stomach.
"Okay niall, have something small to line your tummy then take these" she smiles as she offers him a choice of sandwiches. He takes the cheese one and a bottle of water. The nurse then places a small paper cup on the side on with two tablets in it.
"Visiting is over I'm afraid. You can come back 6-8 pm" she smiles and leaves the room.
"Okay babe, we're gonna goo and grab some food, but we'll be back at 6 to bug you" I say to niall and we say our goodbyes.
"At least we know what's wrong" Liam sighs.
"That's a plus, now he can get treated" I grin.
We both just grab a kfc on the way him and eat it in the car before driving home. We both have a quick shower (separately) and head back to the hospital.
"I'm just nipping to the loo" I mumble as we reach nialls ward.
"Okay- I'll see you in there" Liam grins
I use the toilet quickly and wash my hands. Then use the anti-bacterial gel as well. You never know. I then head in to see niall.
I notice he's just coming round from being asleep and sit next to Liam on the chair.
"Hey babe" I greet him gently.
"Hey papa" he mumble and sits up carefully, rubbing sleep out of his eye.
"Have a good sleep?"
"Yeah. Feel bit better now?"
"Good. You're a bit warm" I comment as I run my Hand though his sweaty messy hair. His forehead is really hit and his hair is clumping together from sweat.
"Feel a bit cold" he yawns and has a small drink of water.
"You haven't taken your meds?" I frown as I notice the small plastic cup still has the tablets in It.
"I have" niall mumbles in between drinking.
"They're still in the cup. Niall- buddy. This medicine will make you better- it's to help your tummy stop hurting. Why aren't you taking it?" I ask as kindly as I can.
"I have taken it papa" niall frowns, looking at me with butter wouldn't melt innocent eyes.
"Don't lie to me. Take the medication" I snap.
"-niall. Take it" I warn.
He sighs but takes the medication without meeting my eyes.
"Show me your mouth" I say firmly.
He opens his mouth and I make sure he's taken the medication. I don't understand why he wouldn't take it. It's here to help him.
Part of me is thinking the doctors could be right. I mean- sure he's allergic to chocolate but aside from that he's fine. Maybe he is -not making it up- but- playing on it for attention or because he thinks it's funny. Which it isn't. I make a mental note to talk to Liam about it when we get him. Ask his opinion.
We stay for another hour and a half. Niall doesn't speak much. Only mumbles and responds when spoken to directly but even then the words are few and unmotivated. Even when leaving he mumbles "bye" and rolls over away from me.
I sigh and leave with Liam, who takes the car keys out of my hand.
"I'll drive" he whispers softly. I nod quickly and wipe away the tears as we head off once ahain to make the journey home.
Only a short chapter but feedbackbis great!!
The next few days are hard. Niall is insistent he's taken his medication, but it hasn't left the cup. That means i have to make him take the medication. Despite his protests he has. He seems to be on the mend though with is great news. Harry said If he doesn't get worse he'll be home this evening. I head into the office for an hour to catch up before going to see niall. I get there at around 10am and immediately go see him.
I'm met with the sight of niall sat up on his bed holding a few playing cards and Liam sat on the chair holding a few as well.
"Ah black Jack" I laugh as I sit next to Liam. He smirks at me like he's winning. He hasn't got a fucking chance against niall. Niall is sat there biting his lip and scratches his arm every now and then. He has the best poker face I've ever come to meet.
"Harry said they're discharging you tonight" I smile at niall.
"Really?" He smiles.
"Yeah. Unless you have another turn before then" I grin back at him and peek at Liams cards.
"Don't be helping him!" Liam scolds.
"It's you that needs help, he's a pro at this. Hope you didn't bet anything" I laugh.
He pulls a sheepish look and shrugs "I bet him £20 to cheer him up".
"You won't be getting any money off him at this game" I laugh and head off to get some coffees.
"I'll go- need to stretch my legs anyway" Liam smiles and kisses me softly, he then hands niall a £20 note over and he beems with pride.
"Can I have a cup of tea" niall asks softly.
"Course buddy" Liam replies and heads off.
I stay with niall for another hour or so before I have to go do some work. The company won't run itself. Liam also has to head in but niall says he'll have a nap anyway.
It's 2 hours later I'm called in again as niall is throwing up from a reaction. At first I'm fuming that i left him again and he's ill. Then as I'm driving to the hospital I'm more annoyed with niall because now I'm certain he's playing on it.
"What happened?" I sigh rubbing my forehead.
"I've ran bloods and found traces of chocolate in his system" Harry sighs.
I snap. That is the final straw. He is pushing my buttons to the limit. How dare he eat chocolate knowing full well he's allergic to it. I march into his room. Harry close on my heels and pull the door open harshly.
Niall jumps and looks at me with warn out eyes. I have no sympathy for him. He's inflicting this on himself.
"Where is it!" I snap.
"Where's what?" He whispers, tears filling his eyes already. He hates being shouted at and told off but I'm past caring.
"The chocolate you've been poisoning yourself with" I state bluntly.
"I haven't had any-"
"-dont bullshit me niall. I'm past all these games you're playing. It's not big. It's not cleaver. And it's not funny. And it ends now" I shout and point my finger towards the floor to prove a point.
He whimpers and looks at his hands on the bed but doesn't say anything.
I snap. I march over towards the draws next to his bed and start searching though them.
He has personal things in here like clothes and boxer pants, even a picture of his mum, but I don't care. I find nothing in the first. Or the second. Or even the third. But the fourth draw I look in I find it. A Cadburys dairy milk chocolate bar. Half eaten.
I close my eyes and breath out harshly though my nose to compose myself.
"Papa- that's not mine" niall whispers.
"Really. Then why's it in your draw?" I snap.
"I don't know" he cries.
"Get your Stuff packet up right now. You've wasted enough of these doctors time" I shout and storm out of the room.
"Mr Tomlinson?" Harry calls and he comes towards me with a clipboard.
"I'm taking niall home"
"-no buts. He's wasted enough of everyone's time. We're going home and that's the end of it" I snap and walk away from him.
The drive home is quiet. Niall didn't even sit in the front seat, which he always begs to do. He's sat in the back and won't even look at me. Good. He's in big trouble for this.
I park the car up on the drive and switch off the ignition. I look at niall through the rear view mirror and notice he's still crying. I'm still annoyed but my heart softens slightly. The thing I don't understand is why. Why would he do this?
"Why would you do this niall?" I ask carefully. The last thing I want is for him to clam up but I need to know what's possessed him to do something so un- niall -like. Something so dangerous to himself.
"I haven't had any chocolate papa" he murmers.
"Niall they found traces of it in your blood. Don't fucking lie to me!" I shout and slam my hands down on the steering wheel. I see niall flinch and more tears fall down his face. He quietly wipes them away and sniffles to himself.
"Do you realise how serious this is? How dangerous this is? People die from allergic reactions niall. You could have died! Do you even care about that!" I shout again.
He flinches again and cries even more but doesn't speak.
"Go to your room" I mutter as I climb out of the car and close the door.
I head up to the front door, waiting for niall so I cn lock the car - once I've done that I open the front door to find Liam cooking dinner.
"There's my two boys! Great to have you back niall- what's wrong- what's happened?" He smiles but then ends growing when he sees nialls tear stained cheeks. Niall doesn't acknowledge him and goes straight upstairs. This just prompts Liam to look at me for answers.
"He made himself sick. I found some chocolate in his draw"
"No nialls wouldn't-"
"-but he did. He could have died Liam and he doesn't even care" I whimper as tears fall, throwing a hand in nialls general direction.
"Hey? Hey come here!" Liam gasps. He puts down the wooden spoon and pulls me into his arms. I stay there for at least an hour as he rocks me side to side and kisses my head.
I stay in my room only leaving to have a wee then go straight back to my sanctum. I hear Liam and my papa talking downstairs, papa thinks I'm doing it on purpose and Liam is slowly believing him. I just sigh and lay in bed.
My stomache is doing summer-saults and not the kind I got from shaking harrys hand. It's like my tummy is knotting together and filling with air at the same time.
I play candy crush on my phone for a while before liam brings me some cheese pasta up for tea.
"How you doing kiddo?"
"I'm tired. Tummy hurts" I mutter.
"Still tender huh? Well- eat what you can but don't force yourself" he smiles and places the bowl down on the cupboard.
"Thanks liam" I say honestly.
I only eat around half of the pasta. It's lovely and really full of flavour but my tummy doesn't seem to appreciate the extra food in there. I snuggle under my duvet and let my eyes off.
I dart out of bed some time later and race to the bathroom. I just make it for the vomit falling out of my mouth to make it into toilet.
"P- p-apa" i cry as I throw up again. I kneel down and loop my arms around the toilet as more vomit splashes into the water below.
"Pa-pa" I shout as I lay my head on my arm. I hear shuffling from his room but no one comes.
"Papa please" I beg as I throw up once at. This time the pasta coming out of my mouth and nose.
I sit and call him for a while while I continue throwing up. I shout a little louder but he still doesnt come and see me. After a while the smell makes me even more nauseous. I've already flushed the chain twice. I flush it again and swill my mouth out with water then, slowly stumble back to bed where I hide under my duvet and cry myself to sleep.
The next morning Liam wakes me up at 7:30 for school.
"My tummy hurts" I whimper as he pulls the duvet back a bit and tells me we're leaving in 40 minutes.
"I know but- it's your dad's orders" he sighs.
My heart sinks at that. The fact my papa knows I'm in pain and he's still making me go to school. Mind you, he thinks I'm lying anyway.
I crawl out of bed try to get some of my skinny jeans on. I fasten the button but it's digging into my tummy and hurting me. I pull them off and throw some joggers on. I then throw a t shirt and a grey jumper on and head downstairs. I feel like a chav. Wearing joggers and a jumper with supras but I don't care. I feel like shit.
I walk tentively into the kitchen. Unsure if papa is still and at me. I'm assuming he is.
"Hi niall, What do you want for breakfast?" Liam smiles as I hover in the doorway. I walk further in and see my papa sat at the table reading the paper. Coffee sat in front of him.
"Cherrios please" I whisper and half smile at him.
"Are you feeling any better?" Liam asks as he joins us at the table and hands me my cereal. I thank him and slowly eat my breakfast.
"Not really. Was sick last night" I mumble. My voice still scratchy from the acid in the vomit.
"We heard" papa mutters.
"I shouted you" I whisper, locking my eyes on his face. He flicks his eyes to meet mine. We stare at each other for a few seconds before I look away.
"Do you know why I'm mad at you niall?" Papa asks flat out.
"Not really" I whisper. I know it's because he thinks I've been making myself ill. And he gets and when I lie to him. But I haven't don't either of these and he's still mad at me.
"What do you think I'd do if anything happened to you? If you -say- died from an allergic reaction?" He asks harsly.
"I- I don't know"
"I'd die niall. If anything happened to you it would kill me. It has killed me watching you throwing up and in pain and suffering. Knowing the only thing I can do is stand there and watch. I was so helpless to make you better and it killed me. So imagine my anger when I find out you're the reason, you're ill. You've been making yourself ill on purpose. For attention. Or a dare. Or because you think it's funny-"
"-i haven't. I haven't done this on purpose papa" I plead. Begging for him to see I'm not lying.
"And now you're lying to me. Again. So I am mad at you. I love you. But I'm mad at you. And I will stay mad at you until we talk about this like grown ups. Until you're honest with me and tell me why the hell you think it's acceptable to do this. Other people who are actually seriously ill, could have lived- if they'd had the doctors and the bed that you wasted. Think about that. I'm going to work Liam can drop you at school" he says firmly and leaves the table.
He doesn't comment on the tears slowing making their way down my face. He doesn't notice that I've sat here biting my lip to stop myself from shouting - IT WASN'T ME!!
I look at Liam cautiously and he smiles softly at me.
"He'll come round. He just loves you so much - He never wants you to be hurt. I'll talk to him- try and ease him off a bit" he smiles and takes the cups to the sink.
I wash my face after that conversation and do my teeth. Liam meets me at the bottom of the stairs with my bag and I pull my shoes on ready to go.
"We don't have much in food wise- so here's a fiver to get some lunch. I'll go shopping later" he smiles and hands over a £5 note.
"Thanks" I sigh. I don't mind school dinners, they're actually nice, but I like sitting on the grass with a sandwich when I feel shit. I feel it helps. But you aren't allowed to sit outside with school dinners. Maybe I can just buy a sandwich.
The ride to school is boring and short. When Liam drops me off he says he'll try talking to my dad again which I appreciate. At least someone is sort of on my side.
"Hey horan" Luke smiles as I sit next to him for first period. Maths.
"Hey luke" I grumble as I lay my arms on the desk and bury my head in them.
"You look like shit" he comments.
"Gee. Thanks. I feel like shit" I mutter into my jumper sleve.
"Why don't you go home then? And! You haven't been here for like a week. Everyone thought you'd died" he stresses.
"Allergic reactions" I mutter "And me papa doesn't believe I'm Ill. He thinks I'm milking it for attention" I scoff.
"Your dad is a moron" he comments dryly.
"He means well but- he won't listen. I spent half the night throwing up and he didn't even come and sit with me" I pout.
"He's a double moron. Everyone knows you cry when you throw up. You're like a baby that needs comfort and reassurance" he states.
"Thanks- im sure there was a compliment in there somewhere"
"I mean- he's a dick for not sitting with you" he reassures and rubs my back softly.
"Hey ni" Ashton grins as he sits on my other side. Him and Luke are twins and my best friends.
"Hey" I grumble. "Wake me up if I snore" I mutter as I let sleep take over.
We're sat at the back so no one will know. Unless I snore.
"Ni- wake up" luke- ash- no luke. Wakes me up.
"What?" I yawn as I come round and stretch my arms over my head.
"Class ends in 5 minutes" he smiles.
"You're very pale today niall" Mrs Mann says as we head into english.
"Still Not 100%" I mutter as I take a seat next to justin.
"Hey babe" he smirks at me and kisses my neck.
"Get off" I mutter and move as far away from him as I can.
"Not playing ball today princess? What would papa say about you being rude?" he mocks, loud enough that most of the class hear.
"Well stop coming on to me then" I snap.
"It's not my fault you're fit. Even today when you look like shit" he laughs and my self esteem lowers even more that it was. Which was ground level to begin with.
"Leave him be" josh mutters, not even looking up from his English book. Josh is fit. He's like the most popular guy in school and everyone fancies him. On top of being gorgeous he's also such a lovely guy. Always looks out for the little guy and helps people who are being picked on.
Not surprisingly, Justin leaves me alone.
"Niall? You okay- you look a bit- rough today" josh asks me as we're leaving English. We aren't exactly friends but we're on the same football team for school, so we chat sometimes.
"Yeah- jus' getting my energy back slowly" I smile.
"You be okay for the game tomorrow?" He asks cautiously.
"Course. Be fine. See yah round" I grin as I lie through my teeth. I don't think I'll make it to lunch never mind running round a field for 2 hours.
Surprisingly I do make it to lunch. Better than that. I make it to the end of the day and as soon as I'm home I collapse on the couch and let sleep take over.
"Niall? Niall- come on buddy- tea is done" Liam slowly wakes me up. My neck is aching from the position I've had it in and I have pins and needles in the arm I've been laid on but I feel more refreshed and less tired.
I nip to the toilet really quick and then join Liam and my papa at the table.
"Thank you. This looks great" I lie as I eye up the mountain of food on my plate. I'm never going to eat all this.
"You're welcome niall. How was school?" Liam replies politely.
"Okay- um- tiring. Don't think I'm 100% yet" I mumble as I eat a bit of the lasagne.
"It will take time. Build yoyr strength up" Liam smiles.
"Yah. I guess. Papa? Can you- write me a note- so I can be 'scused from the football game tomorrow?" I ask cautiously.
He flicks his eyes over to look at mine and I immediately look away.
"No. Your team are relying on you niall. You can't just bail out before you can't be arsed playing" he snaps then leaves the table. He scrapes his plate in the bin and goes upstairs.
"See how you feel tomorrow- if you need a note I'll write one" Liam smiles at me softly.
"Thanks liam" I whimper. Willing myself not to cry.
Tonight's bedtime routine is the same as last nights. I get ready for bed. I get in bed. I go to sleep. I dive out of bed some time later and spend the next hour hurling the entire contents of my stomache into the porcelain bowl. I call for papa for a few minutes before coming to the conclusion, he isn't coming. I wash my mouth out once finished and crawl down the landing to bed. I don't have the energy to stand up.
I then hide upset the duvet and cry myself to sleep again.
Then next morning i feel no better as I head down to breakfast in more joggers and a different jumper.
"No better niall?" Liam frowns.
"No- was sick again" I croak out.
"Awe buddy- im sorry" he frowns as he sets the toast on the table.
I grab a slice and eat it dry before throwing my shoes on and waiting in liams car.
"Your dad went to work early. I'll pick you up from football tonight if you want" he explains as he sets off down the drive.
"That would be great. Thank you" I half smile. We pull up at school 10 minutes later and I head into science. I'm halfway through period 2 -art- when I realise I never got the note. Fuck.
"Coach? Can I sit out? I don't feel great" I mumble as the other boys get changed.
"Horan it's a match! Not practise. No one else is here to replace you. Play for a bit if you get too bad I'll pull you off" he instructs.
I sigh but get changed into the shorts and shirt. I also take my bottle of orange juice out with me to keep refreshed. I'm grateful to Liam for making me the juice and have a large swig before the game starts.
For the first 20 or so minutes of the game I don't have to move much. I occasionally make it look like I'm running towards the ball then pull back when it's obvious I'm no where near where it's heading. It's a good tactic. Until then ball comes straight towards me and I have to tackle the other player to get the ball. I manage to get it and kick it to sam but the guy I tackled isn't happy and marches towards me.
"The fuck" he shouts and shoves me backwards. I lose my footing and end up falling backward onto my back with a whimper.
"Oi! the fuck you doing!" Josh shouts and stands over me pushing the other boy.
I see him push josh to the floor before he kicks me in the stomache and I full on howl in agony before someone pulls him off me.
"Niall you okay?" Josh asks as he sits next to me. I'm half on my hands and knees half curled up in a ball as I full on sob at the piercing pains in my tummy.
"I wan' - wan' my p- papa" I breath out harshly through a snot leaking nose.
"Okay okay we'll get him called" he soothes and he rubs my back gently. I can hear coach talking to someone and in assuming it's on the phone.
"You're dead" josh warns (I'm again assuming - it's the kid that kicked me)
"I feel sick" Is all I get out before i vomit over the grass. I hear people commenting/ some laughing/ some walking away. But josh stays next to me, stroking my back slowly.
"Come here" he says and gently moves me away from the vomit and I curl up in my half ball half hands and knees state.
"How you doing? Ambulance is on it's way" he reassures and I hear coach say something to him.
"Wan' me papa" I cry once again.
I dart across the football field as fast as my legs will carry me. Shouting at people to 'move' and 'let me through'. I was at work when I got the phone call saying there'd been an incident at the football game and niall was hurt. As soon as I reach niall I drop to the floor and cradle his head on my knee.
"Baby what's happened?" I whisper, stroking his hair softly as he whimpers.
"He was kicked in the stomach" a boy sat next to niall says when niall just cries.
"What?! By who?" I snap and look around for the one who dares hurt my boy. I just see scared faces. No guilty one.
"One of the other teams players. Niall was sick" he says nervously.
"Oh god. Thank you for waiting with him" I thank the mystery boy who nods he's heard me but doesn't leave.
"Babe do you think you can move?" I ask niall softly and although he nods his head I can tell he's in a lot of pain.
"Let's get you home and we can get a doctor to come out and see you" I decide. Not wanting him to stay outside in the cold too long and not wanting to wait 6 hours in A&E to be seen.
"My tummy 'urts" niall whines as I roll him onto his back. He's still curled in a half ball but sat on his bum/ lower back.
I once again, pick him up bridal style and walk slowly with him to the car.
Luckily the boy who was sat with niall opens the car door for me to get him seated.
"Can I come with you? I wanna make sure he's okay" the boys asks politely.
"Course. Let you mum know" I say quickly.
I get in the drivers side whilst he gets in the back and I hear him briefly tell his mum what's happened and where he is.
"Josh?" Niall mumbles from his place, still hunched over.
"I'm sorry I was sick for the game"
"Don't be silly. The game doesn't matter. Your health comes first" josh replies.
"But I promised you I'd be okay- for- for the game"
"And you were. Kinda. Before he kicked you. Honestly don't worry about it" he replies softly as I pull up home.
I get niall out of the car and carry him up to the house where josh has unlocked and opened the door.
"Want to lay in bed or on the couch?" I ask. Incredibly grateful niall only weighs about 6/7 stone as my arms would be dead otherwise.
"Um- bed please" he whispers.
Good call. It's closer to the bathroom for if he's sick again. I get him settled in bed and notice his legs and arms are covered in mud from the grass at the game but I don't care if the bedding gets dirty. It will wash. I pull the duvet over his tummy before getting him a glad of water and a cup of tea.
Josh sits on nialls bed next to him stroking his hair and it melts my heart a little.
"Hey buddy- I'm going to call the doctor to come and check you" I tell niall gently. He nods at me and I can see he's struggling to stay awake. He never can stay awake when someone's playing with his hair.
"Josh do you want a lift home or are you staying for a while?" I ask.
"Can I stay for a bit?" He asks politely.
"Sure. Stay for tea if you want and I'll drop you home later?" He nods and I tell him to let his mum know.
I grab the house phone as my mobile is dead and notice there's a voice mail. I click the little red button to hear it and kick it up.
"You have 1 new message. Message recorded on 12 December 2017 at 13:12pm. To listen to the message press 1"
I press 1.
"Hi Mr Tomlinson it's Harry styles here nialls doctor. This is message number 26. Just to refresh your memory - I treat niall when he came in to A&E. Erm it's about nialls blood tests. I tried to tell you in the hospital but you were adamant about leaving- niall has traces of alkaline sodium hypochlorite which is a chemical - mainly found in drain cleaner. On it's own It's highly poisonous and with the amount found in nialls blood stream I'm honestly suprised he isn't dead. I've also found traces of a tablet called cocodamol which is essentially very strong paracetamol. Mixed together these are extremely dangerous and left untreated, niall will die.
You need to bring him in as soon as possible for us to treat him. As I said this is message 26 and I have been calling for a fair few days now but I will keep trying till I get hold of you. Thanks. Bye"
"No" I whisper. My mind is racing and my heart is pounding and all I can think is not my baby. I run upstairs to make sure niall is still okay (alive) and actually breath when I see he's breathing and is asleep.
"Babe? We need to go to hospital" I say as calmly as I can whilst I shake his arm.
"Wanna sleep" he whines.
"I know but please babe. It's urgent" I stress at him. He sighs at me but doesn't make any attempt to move. He's clearly not seeing I'm moments away from an emotional breakdown at the thought of losing him.
"Ni come on" josh urges when he sees my face and for that I'm so grateful for this strange child in my son's room.
He complies and I once again carry him to the car. Josh sorting the doors on the way.
"Seatbelt" I say hurriedly as I all but throw him in the car to get going quicker. He grumbles but listens to me and josh barley has his door shut before I'm pulling out of the drive at 20 miles per hour.
"Niall babe? Have you take anything? I promise you- I'm not mad and you aren't in any trouble but I need to know" I ask him as I illegally turn left down one of the streets.
"No- jus' the meds they gave me at the hospital" he sighs and his eyes drop slightly.
"STAY AWAKE! DON'T GO TO SLEEP NIALL" I practically shout at him and he jolts up from shock.
"And answer me honestly- when you said you'd taken them and I didn't believe you- were you telling the truth? Had you already taken them?" I ask cautiously and tears fall down my face as he says, no louder than a whisper "I promise I took them"
"Oh my god" I mutter to myself. I made my son take medication on top if the medication he had already taken. I've practically been overdosing my son!!
But there's a more pressing matter right now. What were the extra tablets and who put them there?
"They tasted different" niall yawns.
"What did?" I whisper. Afraid if I speak any louder he'll hear I'm crying and want to know why.
"The medication. It was different to the first set I took. Maybe they gave me other ones to help me sleep?" Niall asks softly.
"Maybe. Maybe they did" I say flatly. I don't believe that. I think someone was trying to hurt him. I'm just not sure who is why. I don't say that out loud, there's no use worrying him even more.
We head into the A&E once again and as soon as I tell the nurse nialls name he's rushing us off to one of the rooms. That sets in stone how serious this is.
"Got seen quick" Niall smiles at me though tired eyes. His face is sunken in slightly and his eyes look larger, but duller than usual. The sparkle has gone from them. His face is a pale blue ish colour and now that I'm fully taking In nialls appearance he looks like shit. In a none nasty way. In a - he was ill and I should have believed him and not sent him to school - kind of way.
I get niall sat comfortable on the bed and he kicks his legs slowly, resting his chin in his hand.
"I'm bored. I'm also tired" he grumbles.
"I know babe. You can sleep once you've seen the doctor" I whisper and kiss the side of his head gently.
"Papa! I have a friend here" he whines and makes a show of rubbing my kiss off. But I know he loves kisses and isn't really bothered. Josh just laughs and sits on the chair next to me.
"I'll take you home once I know nialls okay. Or I'll pay for you a taxi" I smile at him.
"I'd rather stay- I want him to be okay too" he smiles back as doctor styles enters the room.
"- I'm sorry for walking out and not listening to you- pleade help him" I beg immediately.
"Papa 'm fine. 'Part from being kicked in the gut" niall laughs before yawning again.
"Tired?" Harry frowns.
"Yeah. Had a footy game. Proper tired now." he laughs a little. I frown as Harry frowns.
"Niall I'm going to run some blood tests and check your liver, lungs and kidneys if that's alright?" Harry says decisively and writes some things down on a clip board.
"Sure" He shrugs but breaths harshly when Harry pulls a needle out to use.
"Josh? Can you- wait outside? I don't really like needles" niall whispers.
"It's okay- im not gonna laugh at you. I don't like clowns" he says simply, sits on the bed next to niall, takes his hand and squeezes it gently.
"I might cry though" niall whimpers as he eyes up the needle.
"It's okay, you've already thrown up on me today- can't get much worse than that" he jokes and it seems my heart when niall giggles. He hides his mouth with the hand not being held and giggles into his fist.
"Ready Niall?" Harry asks. Niall nods but as soon as the needle is an inch away from Niall- he cries. He's told be before it's not from the pain- because it doesn't hurt per say- but it's the shock and the idea behind it that upsets him.
"Okay- I'll have these back in half an hour" Harry mumbles. "Niall can you take your shirt off for me? I have a robe for you" he adds and hands niall a white robe to wear. Harry turns around and sets up the equipment for the scans. Niall is changed before I register I should have turned around too.
Harry uses some clear get and a camera to see inside nialls stomach and all his organs. It's the same machinery used on pregnant women.
"Okay naill- your left kidney is inflamed- have you done anything that could have caused that?"
"That's where I was kicked at footy" he mumbles.
After both sides and his back and stomach are checked Harry sends the results off to be processed and we're told we'll have them back in half an hour.
"Papa I'm thirsty" Niall whines lightly as his eyes once again drop. He's laid in his bed again with me and josh sat on the chairs next to him.
"I'll go get you something" I reply as I start to stand.
"I have yoyr orange juice from earlier" josh butts in and pulls out a bottle of juice.
"Thanks" Niall smiles "don't fancy it though. Doesn't taste as good coming back up" he winces.
"You were sick after drinking that?" Harry asks tentively, he is (was) filling charts and shit in.
"Yeah but cos I was kicked" niall frowns and so does harry.
He takes the bottle and examines the liquid through the clear plastic. He frowns even more and takes the lid off. He doesn't drink any but smells it and gasps.
"Where did you get this?"
"What? Why?" Niall whispers, tears filling his eyes as he probably thinks he's in trouble.
"Niall you aren't in trouble- but where did you get the pop?"
"Liam made me it for the game"
Just to say - y'all called it - but was he acting alone???
"Okay Mr Tomlinson the police will need to be notified" doctor styles says to papa.
"Why?" I frown and look between my papa and the doctor.
"There was something in it. Wasn't there?" Josh asks softly.
"Yes. We'll have to get this tested to determine exactly what's in it" Harry says kindly "but I'm more concerned about your results coming back and making sure you're okay"
"I feel fine" I shrug.
"Yeah babe but it could be causing more- long term damage- that you wouldn't necessarily notice right away" papa says carefully.
"Okay" I shrug again. Not really seeing what the problem is.
Papa has to leave after that to talk to the police and I'm told that they will need to speak to me after. Harry has put me on a drip to try and help flush out my system.
I'm sat playing candy crush on my phone, josh is sat on the chair next to my bed but has his upper half laid over the bed while he sleeps. Papa offered to take him home but he insisted on staying until he knows I'm okay.
"Papa?" I ask once he comes back in. He's spoken to the police and sits next to josh.
"Yeah buddy?" He whispers and kisses my head.
"Are you and Liam splitting up now?" I frown.
"I thought you didn't like liam" he laughs softly when he notices my pouting face.
"I don't really, but you do" I shrug.
"Niall-" papa sighs.
"-you must do. 'Else you wouldn't have married him" I but in.
"Yeah. I do- did- like liam. I loved him and I though he loved me-"
"- he does. He tells you all the time" I grin, but frown when papa doesn't smile with me.
"No he doesn't. If he loved me he wouldn't have hurt the most important person in my life" he smiles.
"Maybe he was just sad? Or felt left out?" I suggest. I don't particularly like liam but my papa does and he makes him happy.
"No niall. Me and Liam are over. I tried calling him and his phones off. You know why? Because he got caught. We won't be seeing him again" he sighs but pulls me in for a cuddle.
"Okay papa. I just don't want you to be sad. Like you were when you and mum broke up" I frown. I remember that day. It was horrible. Almost as bad as the day she left me on papas door step in my spider man pyjamas.
"I'm not half as sad as I'd have been if I'd lost you" he whispers.
"Papa? Why- why did you and mum split up? Did you not love her anymore?" I ask cautiously. This isn't a topic we've ever talked about before. Not in depth.
"Your mum and I split because- well she couldn't look after you the way you needed and I couldn't- I couldn't look after both of you. I had to make you my priority because you couldn't help yourself- if I didn't feed you -you couldn't get a ham sandwich and feed yourself. She could. I had to be cruel to be kind to give you the best start in life" he says slowly. Like he's thinking of what to say before he says it.
"Why couldn't she look after me? Didn't- didn't she want me?" I whisper as papa sits on the bed next to me.
"Of course she did. We both did. We tried so hard to make you and when we did it - we were both over the moon. Your mum- well when she was pregnant with you she was very sick. She had no appetite but knew she had to eat and when she did she threw it back up. She was tired all the time but couldn't sleep and she got very depressed. She started resenting being pregnant and when you were born i looked after you for a while ehile she got the help she's needed. She struggled with post natal depression and- she struggled bonding with you. That made it worse because she felt shed failed you but everytime she tried to make a connection -deppression dragged her back into it's arms" he explains patiently.
I don't say anything while he speaks. It's a lot to take in. I always felt like she was silently angry with me but I never knew why. Now I do. She wasn't well and I was a constant reminder to the illness. Maybe not because I was the cause, but because I was a pretty big change happening at the time she got ill.
"She loves you. Always has, She just didn't have the mentality to look after you the way you needed"
"Let hope she got the help she needs" I say softly and papa squeezes me into him.
"I love you papa"
"I love you too niall. Always. Now... what's going on with you and josh? Romance in the air?" He wiggles his eye brows and I giggle but push his shoulder slightly away from me.
"No papa. He's really popular" I giggle, trying to be quiet as to not wake him up.
"So? So are you. And- it doesn't matter how popular he is. Do you like him?"
I sigh softly but nod my head a little and feel my cheeks blush ad papa kisses my head once again.
"Can you get me a drink papa?" I ask a short while later. My mouth has gone dry. He nods and after checking what I want, heads off as josh wakes up.
"What did I miss?" He mumbles.
"Nothing haha. Waiting for the cops to talk to me. Papas gone to get us both a drink" I say casually.
"Cool. I was really worried about you- you know that?" Josh sighs and wipes sleep from his eyes.
"Really?" I whisper and my heart flutters softly.
"Yeah. Scared the shit out of me" He frowns.
That's when I take me cue. I've seen it all the movies. The perfect moment to lean in and kiss him. And in an ideal world, he'd kiss me back. But this is far from ideal and he doesn't kiss me back. He frowns and pulls away as my lips just touch his.
"What- what are you doing?" He whispers. He sounds out of breath. Not angry or upset. But Tired.
"I- i- I jus'. I thought that- I Dunno" I stutter and look at my inter locked fingers on my knees.
"no niall" He groans.
"I'm sorry" I whimper.
"I'm not- I'm not gay. I'm not even curious. I have nothing against people who are but- guys don't do it for me. I'm really sorry" he says gently.
I can feel his eyes on me but mine are closed. To stop the tears falling down my face. It's not so much the rejection but it's the fact I've probably lost him as a friend now and let's face it- as far as mates go- he's the only one here. Meaning he's the only one bothered enough to make sure I'm okay. I nod slowly to let him know I've heard him and he sighs but rubs my hand slowly and comforting.
"Need a minute?" He asks cautiously and I nod again.
"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Can we- can we forget it?" I sigh.
"Course" He says tensly and I have a feeling it's not being to be forgotten.
"Want some crisps?" He asks after a minute. Already rooting though His school bag and handing me over some quavers.
"Thanks" I mumble already eating a few.
"Yeah" I mumble. A few cheese bits poofing out of my mouth as I speak.
"I really am sorry"
"It's okay" I half grin. Maybe we're better as friends.
"I'm just nipping to the toilet. Back in a few minutes" He explains and the chair scrapes backwards on the floor as he leaves.
"Okay bye" I mumble and eat a few more crisps.
As I'm rounding the corridor to nialls room I see josh leaving with a frown on his face.
"Hey josh. Everything okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah good. I'm just off to the toilet" he smiles.
"Okay. Listen- I want to thank you. For being a good friend to niall. I mean you're here and no one else is. You've come to make sure he's okay. You defended him at the game and waited with him till I got there. I really appreciate it-"
"- Mr Tomlinson-"
"-its Louis. But seriously. You've saved my boys life. I'll never forget that" I smile and he frowns looking at the floor.
"You should go see niall. He misses you" He says quietly.
"I am but-"
"- Mr Tomlinson? I'm sorry"
I frown and walk around him slowly. Not quite sure what he's sorry for but he's acting pretty strange.
"Josh- maybe I should take you home-"
"- no. There's no time. You need to see niall. Get a doctor to him immediately-"
"-what have you done?!" I snap and March towards him. He backs up to the wall, rambling nonsense that I can't interpret and that's when I hear him.
"Josh move now!"
I freeze. Trapped in a daze and when I snap out of it, it's to josh running down the corridor. With liam.
"Run faster" Liam shouts.
"I need to make sure nialls okay" josh cries as he races after Liam.
"You better stick to the plan. Now you're no son of mine if you don't fucking run!!" Liam roars.
I immediately set off down the corridor after Liam and his apparent son Josh. I make around 10 metres before josh's words replay in my head and I stop dead. Niall. I growl before turning around and charging as fast as I can towards his room. Once there I burst through the door, expecting the worst. Expecting to see him passed out or crying in agony. He isn't. He's simply sat there eating some quavers with a questioning look on his face.
"S' wrong papa?" He mumbles.
"I- you- you were ill. They said you were ill" I frown.
"I am, but Harry isn't back with my results yet" He frowns
"No! Josh said I had to get doctors to you immediately and that he's sorry and he ran off with Liam" I stress.
"With liam?" Niall whispers and his face tells me I'm not Making any sense.
"Yeah. Apparently josh is Liams son" I mutter and sit on the bed, careful of his legs.
"I didn't know he had a son" Niall mutters.
"Neither did I. We've only been married 4 years and together 6" I laugh lightly.
"I feel fine papa" niall whispers and cuddles me slightly. I cuddle him back immediately and pray that josh only said that as a diversion.
"Did josh give you anything? Have you had anything to eat or drink when I wasn't here?"
"Just the quavers. Josh gave me 'em"
"And you ate them?!" I snap.
"I was hungry" niall protests with a shrug.
"How stupid can you be? You're in hospital for having an overdose and digesting drain cleaner mixed into food and drinks. God niall. Pay attention" i snap.
"S- sorry" he whimpers and when I look at him, I see tears slowly making their way down his face.
"Oh- babe I'm sorry. You aren't stupid. You're my boy. My best boy. Yeah?" I soothe and pull him onto my knee for a cuddle.
"M sorry papa" He sniffles as I wrap my arms around him and kiss the side of his head a few times.
"Don't be darling. You've done nothing wrong baby. Nothing at all. I'm sorry for snapping at you- I'm just scared. I love you" I whisper.
"Done be scared papa. I'm tough me" Niall offers me a watery grin.
"You are so strong. My brave boy" I agree with him.
"I love you papa"
"I love you too. So so much"
"Knock knock" someone voices out loud as they also knock on the door and enter.
"Hi harry" niall smiles softly as he climbs off my knee and sits back on the bed.
"Hey niall. Hello Mr Tomlinson"
"It's just Louis" I smile as he takes a seat on the chair in front of the bed.
"So I have your results back niall and everything is normal except your left kidney. Honestly I'm surprised it's not much worse, with the amount of chemicals in your blood -well- I'm sorry to say - you shouldn't have survived. But you must be a fighter because you have. Your left kidney is damaged and I'm sorry to say, it would be safer for you to have a transplant. Normally you can survive with only one kidney but- with the strain and pressure yours have been under recently- I think removing the left would put too much pressure on the right and cause that to fail. How do you feel about this information so far?" Harry explains kindly.
I like that he speaks to niall as it's his body and what's happening to him. Usually doctors talk to the parent no matter how old the child is.
"I'm okay I guess. I mean I'm a bit tired but I feel okay other than that" niall mumbles.
"I know you do. It's just a precaution. The last thing we want is for you to suffer further down the line because of this" Harry goes on to explain.
"So am I on a list or- um- I don't know -what happens now?" niall stutters.
"Normally you would be on a list, but I want to get you sorted as soon as possible, the recovery is long and boring and if we can operate now, you'll be plenty rested by the time summer comes and your school holidays won't be ruined"
"T'ank you. I 'preciate that" niall grins, accent getting slightly thicker as he blushes.
"It's not a problem niall. We just need to find you a match"
"Test me" I say instantly.
"I thought you'd say that. I looked into it but your blood isn't the same. You can't donate with a different blood type" Harry says slowly.
"I'm his dad. What do you mean I'm not a match?" I shriek.
"Louis, nialls body would reject the organ and it could kill him because all his blood will mix with yours. Your blood is essentially poisonous to him" Harry explains politely. But it still sucks I can't help my son.
"So what now?" I sigh. Completely deflated I can't help him.
"I've put niall on a temporary list and we have people volunteering as we speak. They won't get any of his details but are told a 14 year old boy needs an urgent kidney. His blood type is AB Positive"
"Which people? Like strangers? Why would people who don't even know me want to help me?" Niall frowns but I can see the inspiration in his eyes.
"Yeah. Complete strangers. The do it because they're good people and want to help someone. It makes no difference they haven't and probably never will meet you" harry smiles.
"That's amazing" niall grins.
I sign a few operation consent forms and Harry talks us through the operation and what recovery is like. Then niall has to go and speak to the police and give them a statement. He says he doesn't want me in the room so I get a coffee and sit with harry.
"I can't believe I didn't believe him" I mutter.
"Don't beat yourself up over it. Liam hid it well-"
"-but he shouldn't have been able to hide it that well. He was my partner for 6 years and it's like I never even knew him. Failing that I should have believed my own child" I scoff.
"It's hard to believe someone when all the evidence says different to what they're saying" Harry reasons.
"I'm supposed niall doesn't hate me. I'd hate me if I were him" I frown.
"I've known niall for like a week and even I know he doesn't have it in him to hate someone. He's like the sunshine. It's in his blood" Harry sooths.
"Don't be hitting on my 14 year old son" I half joke half warn.
"I'm not like that" harry assures me and it may be stupid, But, I believe him.
Niall comes back in after that and I'm informed we can go home and the police will be in touch if they need anything else.
"What happens if you don't find a match?" Niall asks as we're leaving.
"We will" is all Harry says. Niall frowns at the answer but doesn't say anything further on the matter.
"What happens if the cops don't find Liam?" Niall queries me. I glance at one of the police men as if to tell him 'answer this question'.
"It might take time. But we will find him. No one can hide forever"
"Will josh be in trouble too?" Niall whispers.
"Yes. He assisted in attempted murder. It's a very serious crime niall"
"But he's my age. Maybe he didn't know any better" niall argues.
"Niall what he did was illegal-" I try to reason but niall cuts me off.
"-Maybe he was made to do it? Or didn't know what he was doing" niall pleads.
"Niall I know he's your friend. But say you wrote your name on a wall- did you know what you were doing?" Harry asks softly.
"Yes" niall whispers with a frown.
"And you're old enough to know bettet than to write on walls?" Harry prompts.
"Yeah" niall sighs.
"So say, your dad told you to hit someone And you did? Did you know what you were doing?"
"Well yeah but-"
"- Josh is old enough to know better. He's old enough to know right from wrong and he should have said no. Or told someone what was happening"
"I guess you're right" Niall sighs.
After that discussion i take niall home for some rest. We get in and I put on Frozen for him in the living room. By the time Anna is singing about 'the first time forever' or something like that- niall is asleep curled up in the chair. I lay a blanket over him and sit on the sofa with a coffee. I turn off frozen and watch the News.
Surprisingly Liam and Josh are mentioned as on the run and people are told to call the police if they see them and not to approach them.
I turn the news off after that and take niall to bed. Once he's settled and tooked in, I check the doors are locked and and go to bed myself.
I wake up slightly disoriented. I don't remember going to bed. When did that happen? I roll over so im facing my door and try to get back to sleep.
For some reason I can't sleep. I'm tired I know that much. I'm warm but not too warm. I don't need a wee. I don't need a drink. I'm comfortable. I have my night light on in the corner, glowing just enough it's not pitch black, but not too much it's too bright.
I just can't sleep.
I groan and roll onto my back before rolling back onto my side and laying my head on the pillow not so gently. It's weird. I feel like someone is sort of ... watching me?
"Papa?" I shout. I don't want to get out of bed because it's too dark and I can't see that much but I need him. I don't like it here.
"Papa?" I call a bit louder.
"What's up Niall?" He asks as he comes into my room.
"I'm scared" I sigh. I'm 14 years old and I'm scared of the dark. How pathetic is that!?
"Niall there's nothing to be scared of baby. No one can hurt you now. I promise. Try and get some sleep" he soothes.
"Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?" He asks as he strokes my messy bed hair.
"No papa that's okay. Sorry for waking you" I smile. I feel bad waking him because I can hear the tiredness in his voice.
"Don't be sorry baby. Get some rest yeah? If you need me just shout" he smiles and kisses my head before walking back to his room.
I have a quick drink of my water but it tastes slightly stale. I can't remember the last time I changed it to fresh water but as soon as I swallow it, I feel dizzy.
I frown and try to see where my door is to find my papa. Maybe I can sleep in his bed tonight and he won't mind. But as I stand to make my way across the room, my legs give out from under me and I slump to the floor in a heap.
I have no idea why but my legs aren't working. Neither are my arms to pull me up. Neither is my voice to cry for help. My eyes vaguely make out a blurry figure walking towards me before a familiar voice mocks "now BABY. Behave"
Okay so you all probably know what happened but..... any ideas what will happen ??
Any ideas are great!!
I wake up to my phone ringing loudly from the table next to my bed. I groan and try to ignore it but it's persistent and I can't.
I groan again and sit up, snatching the phone off the table and answering with a "-ello"
"Yeah. Who's this?" I grunt.
"My name is PC Daily. I'm a police officer at Doncaster Metropolitan Station. It's regarding the dissapearennce of Liam Payne and Joshua Devine"
"Right okay. Is there an update?" I frown. Suddenly now very awake.
"Can you come to the station?"
"Course I'll just go get niall" I mumble as I slide out if bed and make my way to nialls room. I knock lightly on the door and enter the room. As soon as I do I notice the duvet on the floor and the room is empty.
"Niall?" I call out down stairs. It's very rare niall is awake before me.
I don't get a reply and my stomache drops.
"Niall" I shout. Again no reply.
"He's not here. He isn't here" I shout through the phone panic rising in my voice.
"Okay Mr Tomlinson-"
"-if you tell me to calm down I'll scream" I warn.
"Okay. We'll get someone out to the house-"
"-there's a note" I mumble as I see the small piece of paper on nialls empty bed. I wonder slowly over to it, still feeling slightly numb.
Use the link. 10am.
No show means no life for Blondie
Is all it says and my heart drops even more.
"He's got niall" I whimper into the phone.
"Mr Tomlinson- some police officers are a few minutes from your house. Don't touch anything until they get there. They'll find them"
As soon as the police get here I break down on the stairs. They're searching the whole house but all I can do is stare into my hands and cry for my baby.
I try Liams phone but it's switched off. I try nialls but as soon as I hear Justin Bieber 'Baby' playing from upstairs I know hits here. I cancel the call only for my phone to ring straight after.
"- niall?" I rush out.
"Um no. Mr Tomlinson? It's Dr Styles"
"Oh- sorry" I sigh.
"Great news! We've found a match for niall. I can do the operation this afternoon if that suits?"
I can hear the genuine smile in his voice. He's happy he's found someone to save niall by giving him a kidney. Now if they could just get him from my psychopath of an ex that would be grand.
"Psychopath ex? What?" Harry mumbles.
"What?" I frown. How did he know I was thinking that?
"You think very loudly" Harry chuckles softly.
"He's taken niall" I whimper.
"What? When?" Harry stresses.
"Last night sometime" I whisper. Again I'm the reason my son is in danger. Again I couldn't keep him safe and let him get hurt.
"Do you want me to come over?"
"Aren't you working?"
"No it's my day off" Harry says.
"But you- were gonna do the operation this afternoon?"
"Yeah. I was going to come in for that and go home after niall woke up"
"He wants me to go on this website at 10am" I say quietly.
"Right I'm coming over. Text me your address" is all Harry says. I sigh but text him. Greatful I won't have to go through this alone.
Harry gets here just before 10. He's wearing joggers and a t shirt which makes a change from his usual work scrubs. I only realise I'm still in my joggers and t shirt I went to sleep in when he jokes that we match.
"I'm still in my PJs" I half smile despite the fact I feel like I'm about to break down crying again.
"It's okay. I slept in this t shirt. Didn't want to leave you alone too long" Harry reassures.
I get my laptop set up on the kitchen table and I try going on the link at 1 minute to 10 but it cuts off. I turn the sound off at my end so when the police talk to me off camera, Liam won't know. I wait for the clock to turn exactly 10 am and try again. It goes through.
The link takes me to a live feed camera Liam has set up. The first image I see is Liam sat in a big office chair. One that spins and has wheels.
"Mr tomlinson- do you recognise the room?" One of the police men asks me. I shake my head. All I can see is a wall and him in a chair. It could be anywhere.
"Hey hubby!" He grins.
"Now. I've turned off all sound at my end because I don't want to hear you whine. But I can see you. Cozying up to the doctor. Niall can see you. Nod if you can hear me" he instructs and I nod on demand which makes him laugh as he asserts his control. I notice the camera is on a table. Or some flat surface as it doesn't move with him.
"We're tracing his location louis. Keep him on as long as you can" one off the cops says to me and I put my hand over my mouth pretending to cough so Liam doesn't see me say 'okay'.
"Now. I bet you want answers. But not as much as nialler here does. Say hi to daddy" Liam instructs and walks over to where niall is chained to a chair. My stomache drops again and I feel sick.
"Please don't hurt him" I beg out loud to to no one in particular.
"But don't worry. I won't hurt him. Yet. So long as niall is a good little boy and listens to me" Liam mocks then shouts josh who enters into the frame.
"Now niall. Lift your head up and say hi to daddy" Liam orders. As soon as niall raises his head to look at me I wish he hadn't. His face is covered in bruises and cuts and he's crying silently to himself.
"Hi p- papa" he whimpers.
"Baby" I mumble as tears fall down both our faces. I want nothing more than to reach out and hold niall in my arms and never let him go ever again. But I can't. I can't even wipe the falling tears on his cheeks.
"So. This is where we're at. You probably want answers. I know niall does. So let's give you them." Liam snarls before walking over to stand in front of niall.
"Nialler. This was never about you. This was never personal to you. You're just the most important thing to the person this is revenge against. Nothing personal babe. But this is purely to hurt your dad. Want to blame someone? Blame him" Liam says to niall and I notice him frown and mumble "What?"
"Your daddy isn't a nice man. Care to tell me your mummy's name?"
"Well you know her name at least. She was mortified and heart broken when your father ended their relationship and took you away from her at just a year old" Liam says to niall.
"I still saw her. Till she left me" Niall argues.
"Yeah. She had supervised visits with her own child because HE said she was an un-fit mother!" Liam shouts at niall.
I frown at that. She was un-fit. She was getting help for depression and anti natal depression. She couldn't bond with Niall!! She was a danger to herself. No way, in hell, was I leaving my child with her unattended.
"She got help. And it still wasn't enough. She had nothing niall. She only had you and that was only when he said she could see you. You were only a year old when they split. You won't remember. But he does." Liam says and then turns to address me. "He remembers how she begged him to stay. How she cried for hours before and after the fight. How she pleaded with him not to take you. He did anyway. Because he thought he was the big man!! Guess who's the big man Now!" Liam shouts into the camera lens.
"Now what does this have to do with me?" Liam ponders, taking the thought right out of my mind.
"Well nialler. I didn't meet your dad my chance. It was all planned. Every last part of it. You see, no-one hurts my family and gets away with it." Liam threatens then shouts at the camera "you hear that!! It's was my big sister you killed!"
"You're mums brother?" Niall whispers. Very bravely might I add. I'm close to a break down and I'm only watching it through a camera lense.
"Yes. Hey nephew. Meet your cousin" Liam smirks and shoves josh towards niall.
As soon as josh stands up straight Liam gives him a gun and takes his own out of his belt loop motioning it between josh and niall.
"Shoot him" he says nodding towards niall and I full on scream "No!"
My heart is in my mouth as I see josh flip the gun between his hands before slowing pointing it at nialls head. I think the only person breathing at the moment is liam. I know I'm not and I've felt Harry stiffen beside me.
"Dad- i- I can't" josh mumbles and I can see how badly his hand is shaking as he turns to face liam with tears pouring down his face.
"Shoot him!" Liam roars and grabs the back of joshs hood, pointing the gun at joshs head.
"I-" josh stutters. I see him look at niall as niall looks at him. I can see the fear in both their eyes and niall says something that breaks my heart.
"It's okay. It'll be okay josh"
"No" josh whimpers and the gun is pressed further into his head.
"It's me or you. It's okay. I don't blame you. Someone has to go. Do it. It's okay josh"
What do you think will happen!?!
I'm really sorry about the long wait. I'm really shit and really sorry I just couldn't write this chapter no matter how much I tried.
I'm still not 100% sure I'm happy with it so any feedback is great!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I'm terrified. Scared. But not the funny scared you get when you watch a horror film, and know from the start, which idiots are gonna die. Because there's always one person that moves towards where the mysterious noise is coming from. Curiosity killed the cat as they say. But I'm not a cat and I am far from curious. I'm pure terrified. All I want is my papa. Is to be warm and safe in his arms, literally, anywhere but here.
I know he's watching. I can see him and Harry through the computer screen. They both look as terrified as I feel and when I tell josh it's okay and I don't blame him my papa breaks down. I can see him shouting at the screen and can hear the plead in his voice despite the fact, the room I'm in is so silent, I could hear a pin drop.
I've never heard silence quite this loud.
I'm staring josh in the eyes as he holds a gun pointed towards my head. He hasn't got it in him I don't think. His hand is shaking like crazy and he's crying. Like full on ugly crying. With tears and snot and little whimpers that tell me he would also rather be anywhere but here.
"I'm sorry" he whispers to me. His eyes speak directly to me. I know he is. I can tell he's sorry. He doesn't want to be here anymore than I do.
"I know" I reply. I stare him straight in the eyes. His hand is still shaking like mad, but he tenses his arm. His finger locks on the trigger and I close my eyes. Bracing myself for the bullet. I wanted to look him in the eyes as I take my last breath, but I can't. I'm too scared.
I hear the gun shot milliseconds before the bullet goes flying into the right side of my head.
I remember a searing pain in my head. I remember feeling mind numbingly cold. I remember hearing a load of muffled shouting.
I don't register anything after that.
I feel dizzy.
I'm gonna be sick
I hear someone call my name. But it hurts to move. Or even think about moving.
Maybe sleep will help.
I want to wake up. I'm trying to. My body is just not responding to my brain. Left arm move. Now move. Now. Nothing. I can hear muffled voices but they're too unfocused to make out. I assume one of them is my papa. I'm basing that on the fact I know he would stay with me. The other one some times smells like harry. Some aftershave my Saint Laurent if I'm not mistaken. I remember begging my papa for a bottle for Christmas. He couldn't find the one I wanted and got me a different one instead. The smell isn't as nice, it's not bad but it wasn't the one I had my heart set on. Still, the bottle is fancy and is on my bookshelf in my bedroom.
I try moving again but I can't. I try again. Then again. I'm then too tired to keep trying and sleep takes over.
When I wake back up I can hear a bit clearer. It's still a bit like I have water in my ear but not as bad as it was previously.
I try moving but give up almost immediately when I get the same result of not cooperation from my limbs. My poor brain is doing his best here to try and get me back up and running, and some people on this ship, just aren't pulling their weight. Geez.
Maybe talking is easier.
I sigh. I take a deep breath and sigh again before croaking out "p- pa" that's all I can manage but it seems to alert everyone around me and I can feel the room become claustrophobic and chaotic as people rush around me.
" -iall. Niall. It's Dr Malik here" the brain doctor says as he opens my eyes one at a time. Right then left. He flashes a bright light in them which I don't appreciate and groan at him in hopes he'll leave me alone. To my suprise and joy, he does.
"Niall it's Harry here. Do you remember me? I've been your doctor for a while. Your papa's here too-"
"-hey baby! I've missed you so much. I love you niall. So so much baby. Can you wake up for me?" My papa pleads and i can hear the smile in his voice.
I open my left eye and feel like I'm blinded by the light in the room. I quickly close my eye to keep it safe and grumble " 'Urts"
"The lights?" Harry asks softly.
"Hmm" I him in agreement and hear a soft clicking noise before I'm asked to open my eyes again.
I try with my right eye this time as my left is still recovering. The room is darker and I can see my papas face fairly close to mine. His face is tired and sunken in. Like he hasn't eaten for days. His chin and neck are covered in beard that really needs shaving but it's my papa. And I've missed him so much. Harry is stood just behind him. He looks tired too. He also looks like he's missed a few meals. His hair looks greasy where it's tied back, not it's usual glossy self.
"Pap- a" I croak.
"Oh baby I've missed you so much" He whispers, a few tears falling down his cheeks as he wraps his arms around my waist and neck. Holding me in a tight embrace.
I carefully and slowly, move my right arm and wrap it around him holding him close to me. I can tell he needs a moment so I don't speak. I do make eye contact with Harry and he smiles at me like he's amazed, delighted and confused all at the same time.
"Did- Liam 'n josh-" I struggle to get out before Harry is handing me a cup of water and guiding the pink straw into my mouth. I slowly take a sip and once finding out swallowing doesn't hurt, gratefully take a few more sips.
"Liam is in prison, he got life for attempted murder, kidnapping, possession of a fire arm and murder"
"Murder?" I mumble.
"When josh shot you, police stormed the barn a moment later and Liam tried to use josh as a bargaining chip. Josh tried to get away and Liam shot him. He died pretty much instantly." Harry explains and he sits next to my bed on one of the chairs.
"Josh- he wasn't- wasn't bad" I try to argue but talking is still a challenge.
"I know he wasn't. He was just blinded by love. He loved his dad and wanted to make him proud. He was misguided" Harry reassures.
"He still shot you though niall. He put you in hospital. You've been here that much we've given you your own room" Harry jokes.
"Really?" I laugh.
"Don't laugh about it baby. I thought I'd lost you!" Papa scolds.
"S- sorry. It hurt to try and move. Thought I should rest for a few days." frown.
"Niall- do you know how long you were out for?" Papa whispers.
"A week or So?" I shrug.
"Over 5 months" Harry sighs.
"What?" I scoff.
"But- so- what- I'm 15 then?" I stutter.
"You are. My big boy is 15. It's Christmas next week" papa whispers. "Guess Santa delivered my present early" he adds on.
One more chapter I think. To sum it up ♡
The next week is hard. I mean, mentally and physically challenging. For everyone really, not just me.
I get headaches and the codine they first give me as pain relief, I have an allergic reaction to and nearly die again. I'm starting to feel like that curious cat with 9 lives. I'm not sure how many I have left at this point.
The kidney donor had to pull out due to family circumstances, which I understand and don't blame her for, I just need to find a new donor. Cue Harry. He tested himself and is a match. I'm told he checked when I was In the comma so I could have they kidney when I wake up.
Which leads to him donating me a kidney 3 days after waking up. That's also a challenge. There's a new doctor who does the procedure and yup. You guessed it. I nearly die again. Papa didn't find it funny when I told him that was my 5th life and I better play it a bit safer now. I obviously had to explain the cat theory and he got even more defensive.
Luckily, I didn't die. Neither did Harry. We're both on the mend and although it will take time to fully recover, we're both moving in the right direction in terms of getting to go home.
"So, what did your wife think 'bout yah givin' me a kidney" I ask Harry from my bed. He's in his whcih is next to mine.
"I don't have a wife. Or husband. I'm a single pringle" he laughs.
"Thank you" I whisper.
"Don't worry about it. I wanted to help you. I'm glad I could" he says simply.
"I can't quite take it all in" I sigh.
"It's alot to take in. You've been through alot niall. But if you need to or want to talk about it, when you're ready, I'm here. You can talk to me, I know it's hard, whenever you're ready." He says earnestly.
"When do you think we'll be able to go home?" I ask instead of telling him all my secrets.
"Not sure. A few days I'd say"
"Home for Christmas then?" I grin.
"Definitely" Harry confirms and I grin even more. I love Christmas.
"What are you up to for Christmas then? Since you don't have a partner"
"Well, I was gonna go to my mum's house but she's invited her new boyfriend over and I'm arsed socialising" He laughs.
"You sound like a sulky teenager" I laugh.
"Well he's a rubbish voice for her. And his name is Gavin. Who the hell is called Gavin. Whay kind of a name is that!?" He rants.
"How dare he have a name he didn't choose" I smirk.
"Spend Christmas at our house. We always have loads of food and me papa won't mind" I grin.
"I couldn't do that niall-"
"- Why Not?!" I whine as papa enters the room.
"Don't whine babe. What's wrong?"
"I said Harry could come to ours for Christmas cos he has no where to go and he said no" I pout.
"Now who's the sulky teenager?" Harry laughs.
"Shut up" I laugh.
"You don't have to but you are welcome at ours if you change your mind" papa offers and I full on beam at them both.
"-please!?" I beg. It's a a bit of a low blow, but I give him my biggest puppy dog eyes and pout my lips.
"Oh Could those eyes get any bigger. Yes. I would love to spend Christmas with you both. Thank you" He agrees. I can tell he's happy and was just saying no out of politeness.
So that's how we find yourself sitting around the table a week later. Food piled up on trays in the middle, ready for us to help ourselves.
"Thank you this looks lovely" Harry smiles at papa then me. Papa did all the cooking I just set the table but it's nice anyway.
""Yeah. Thanks papa" I grin as I help myself to the chicken.
"Do you want to say Grace niall?" Papa asks. He isn't religious and neither am I really but mum was and it makes me feel closer to her When we go.
"If- if I could" I whisper. Papa grins and links his hand with mine and his other with harrys. I then link my other one with Harry, who hasn't even questioned why I like doing this.
"Our heavenly father, we thank you for the food you have provided us with and the friendships you have created for us. We thank you for the opportunity to see today and pray for the opportunity to see tomorrow. Please watch over us and continue to keep us safe. Bless Harry for saving my life. And my papa for not giving up on me when all seemed lost.
Please watch over josh while he is with you and keep him out of trouble. And please don't be too hard on Liam when his time of judgement comes. He did wrong, yes, but it is not his fault entirely. He is merely lost and needs guidance, not conviction. We thank you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen"
I finish and papa and Harry say "amen".
"It was kind of you to put josh in your prayer" Harry says softly.
"He was my friend before all this and I don't see him as anything different now. It wasn't his fault What happened"
"But it was liams. I don't know why you wasted a prayer on him" papa sighs.
"He did wrong but I think he was just so over come with anger it clouded his judgement and made him do things he wouldn't normally. I don't blame him papa" I say honestly.
"You're a bigger man than I will ever be" He smiles at me.
"And me" Harry agrees.
"I'm gonna get a quick drink" I grin.
"I told you" Harry smirks.
"What?" I frown.
"He's the Sun. Doesn't have a bad bone in his body"
"I know" I smile.
"At least we have the truth"
"That we do" I agree, laying my hand over his on the table. He smiles and blushes at the same time.
"If you two don't at least go on a date I'll be so annoyed" niall calls from the kitchen.
"Why?" I laugh.
"I got shot. Least you can do is make something good come from it" niall hollers bluntly.
"Well, what do you say?" I ask Harry.
"It would be rude, to let him being shot, be for nothing" Harry laughs.
"Cool. Now that's settled, papa can I have a beer?" Niall asks as he enters the dining room with three beers. He hands one to me and another to harry.
"Only one" I agree. I look at Harry after and he smiles at me. Not an 'I'm secretly judging you' smile. But an 'I'd have done the same thing' smile. Harry then excuses himself to the bathroom, which gives me a chance to talk to niall properly.
"Niall? I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that happened with liam. It was selfish of me. I knew you didn't like him, but, I did so much and I hoped he'd grow on you. I hoped you could both be friends. Look how that turned out" I sigh.
"If I don't blame Liam for what happened, I certainly don't blame you. I knew you liked Liam and I really tried to get on with him. I just couldn't. Something didn't sit right with him" Niall says quietly.
"You've always had good instincts. What about harry?" I ask cautiously.
"No bad vibes yet" niall smiles.
"How would you feel about me dating again?"
"I like Harry. I mean, he's saved my life a few times and- he makes me laugh. He seems really great. If you're happy, I'm happy"
Harry comes back in as we finish the conversation.
"I just hope he doesn't turn into another liam" I mumble.
"He won't. I've already written my best man speech". Niall says confidently.
Little did I know, niall was right. Two years later, he's reading out said speech, to all our friends and family, with the biggest grin on his face since he went to see One Direction live on Tour.
So what do you think of the ending??
Feedback is greatly appreciated :D