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Put That Thing Back Where it Came From (Or so help me)

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Masturbating was boring.  Sure, he got off and that was always something nice, but it was empty and predictable.  Kraglin hated knowing exactly how everything was going to move, how everything was going to touch him all the time.  He hated the empty feeling it left somewhere about where he figured his intestines probably were.  It didn't matter though, because pipes needed cleaning and Yondu didn't want him.

Now, Kraglin wasn't any rapist.  He wasn't going to stick his dick where it wasn't wanted, but jerking off into a vacuum toilet took finesse.  It took dedication.  It took time and time was at something of a premium since they'd added a third person to the roster allowed to use the Captain's bathroom.  It was at even more of a premium with the size of the brat's bladder.  Kraglin was pretty sure Peter's stomach was about 4 or 5 times the size of his bladder and the child seemed to enjoy drinking as much as he could of a given beverage and then having to pee thirty times an hour.

It was awkward to have to stop mid-wank to shuffle out and let Peter use the toilet.  It kind of put a damper on the festivities, as it were.  Peter didn't even appear to realize it was a problem, which was both a blessing and a curse.  Anyone else, upon realizing they were monopolizing a bathroom being used for jerking off, would fuck off and go find a better place to piss.  Quill had no apparent idea.  This meant, at least, that Kraglin wasn't inadvertently sexually harassing a child.  After all, there were lines that Ravagers didn't cross.

It also meant that Kraglin ended up trying to tie his dick to his belly with the waistband to his underpants and rushing out past the child, praying to gods he'd never believed in that he would be able to make it past without the child noticing anything untoward going on.  Kraglin had felt very few things in his life as uncomfortable as that and he hadn't needed to use that trick since he'd been a teenager.  It was awful .

Yondu, unlike his adopted Terran, had quickly realized what Kraglin was doing in the bathroom so often and he thought it was hilarious.  Sometimes, it was even odds as to who would interrupt Kraglin first--a Terran with an urgently full bladder or a Centaurian with an evil grin and a funny rhythm in his knocks.

It was killing him, slowly but steadily.  It was driving him insane.  He missed the sweet clutch of Yondu's ass around his dick, even missed the rough callouses of his hand.  Yondu kept insisting that everything was fine, his medical issue would clear up soon, but he didn't have any kind of timeline and he didn't seem any closer to actually wanting Kraglin again.

Kraglin was starting to think maybe the medical issue was just an excuse.  It was entirely possible that Yondu had decided he didn't want to fuck anymore.  Maybe he'd been listening to his brat.  Yondu was prone to fits of superstition.  He might be worried about the kid's god.

If that was the case, though, Kraglin needed to know.  He wasn't the most patient person in the universe and he didn't have time to be so single-minded about sex.  They'd lost enough personnel and recruiting was already proving to be an issue.  Without the fleet behind them, they had gaps in their roster and Kraglin was filling in about half of them while the crew tried to make do with the rest.  If Yondu was done with him, then it was time for Kraglin to move on, find someone else to fuck.  

It was time, then, to force a confrontation.  Kraglin needed to ditch the kid for awhile and get himself some alone time with his captain.  Even if it was a fight and Kraglin ending up going to sleep in the little nook he'd set aside for himself some years before, then it was important that Kraglin know.

Decision made, Kraglin set up the brat scrubbing down the inside of his m-ship.  He locked the ship to his biometrics and told the kid not to move at all until Kraglin came to get him.  The cockpit alone was a several hours-long job and the kid's battery was full so with any luck at all, he wouldn't get anything on his comm until he'd had a chance to finish this conversation.  Kraglin wasn't that lucky a person, but he could hope, at least.

He checked the captain's location and was pleased to see that he was in his quarters.  It was always a crap shoot with Yondu where he'd decide to do the paperwork.  Sometimes he did it in the mess and Kraglin was pretty sure that it was a terrible idea to call him out on his sex life where crew might hear.  He kept an eye on everyone as he wandered down to the cabin.

Yondu was bent over a tablet, prodding angrily at it with one finger.  It was a fairly normal state of Yondu, if Kraglin were honest.  He wasn't big on doing the paperwork and he hated paying people for anything.  It would, after a few hours, probably fall to Kraglin to finish everything and correct the bits Yondu had just button-mashed in irritation.  While Yondu could do his paperwork, he hated it and Kraglin did pretty well as long as his screen-reader didn't glitch.

"Cap'n," Kraglin said, coming to lean against the desk.

"You here to take this shit off my hands?  There ain't no fucking way we can pay the crew unless we get at least two more jobs in the next three days."

Kraglin took the tablet from Yondu and started looking it over.  Things did look a little bleak.  "I'm sure we can pick something up.  There's got to be a bounty we can grab.  We're not that short."

"Fucking Stakar's gone and blackballed us from every major posting board.  I'm going to have to make a bunch of new contacts and we need to get everyone paid in the damn meantime.  This is ridiculous."

"We'll find something.  Stakar can't have fucked over every contact we've got on Knowhere and we're only three jumps from there.  We just might have to do some legwork to find them."  Kraglin handed the tablet back.  "There's probably something in one of our holds we can sell in the marketplace, anyway.  That should get us most of the way there, so we only really need one job, not two.  And we can stretch it to four days if we need to.  No one's going to dare talk until their pay's a day late if we can get on a job."

Yondu nodded.  "Yeah, makes sense.  Shit.  We're in trouble."

"I know.  We're going to get this shit turned around, though.  There's some of the seedier jobs we can take without having to check."

Yondu grabbed his wrist hard enough to hurt and glared up into his eyes.  "We ain't breaking the damn code.  We ain't yet and we ain't never.  Clear?"

"I know we're not breaking the code," Kraglin said patiently, holding still.  Yondu sometimes punctuated things with a whistle and Kraglin wasn't really feeling it.  

"Good.  Make sure the rest of them know.  I don't give a fuck if Stakar thinks he can kick me out, I wear the flame.  We ain't forgetting our rules."

"Course not.  That'd be fucking stupid.  Harder to find jobs if we pull that shit, too.  Won't be able to find anyone that'll fucking deal with us."   Kraglin leaned in a little closer, smiling.  "We know how to find jobs.  We know how to make contacts.  We know how not to double cross people.  We can do this.  It's just going to take us a little longer and we ain't gonna have to figure out how to explain certain jobs to Stakar.  We're ahead of the game.  We can make judgements on our own, not just follow the rules like bots."

Yondu nodded and pushed the tablet away.  "Which is what we been doing.  But we're still broke.  We got ship maintenance that's gonna be due soon.  We ain't gonna be able to pay for it."

"Then we put it off a little.  We ain't skint."

"We kinda are.  The accounts aren't covering the outgoing, that's kinda the definition."  Yondu stretched backwards, shoulders rolling in his sockets.  

"It won't last.  We were top earners and that ain't gonna change.  We're gonna do good."

"Yeah."  Yondu was obviously trying to convince himself, but it was okay.  Kraglin had seen him convince himself of really stupid things and manage feats that no one else could.  

Kraglin reached over and put a hand on Yondu's shoulder.  "Wait until you see the look on Stakar's face when he tries to tell you we should be broke and begging to come back.  And you're just sitting around covered in gold."

Yondu grinned up at him and leaned into the touch.  That was something, at least.  He hadn't pulled away.  Kraglin filed it into his head on the side of 'maybe this will go all right'.  "That's gonna be a real sweet moment.  Sitting on a mound of shiny things with real nice furs and him whining."

"Exactly."  Kraglin shuffled a little closer to Yondu.  "He ain't gonna know what hit him.  He's gonna be begging us to come back."

"On bent knee.  He's gonna want to know all my secrets and I ain't gonna tell him."

"Yeah."  Kraglin leaned in to kiss Yondu.  Maybe he'd accept it.  Maybe he wouldn't pull away.

He pulled away.  "I told you, I got a medical thing."

"You still hurting?"

"It's getting better some.  But, some."

Kraglin sighed.  "Maybe we could do something that wouldn't bug your belly?"

Yondu shook his head.  "No."

Kraglin stood up and pushed away from the desk.  "You done with me?  Is that what this shit is about?  You decided you don't want me and you're having a good laugh, waiting for me to clue in?"

"No.  Don't be so fucking stupid.  I got a medical thing!"

Kraglin thought about leaving.  He could go.  He could go and wait for Yondu to realize he wasn't coming back.  He could walk away, find someone else, move into someone else's bed.  It would be fine.  Or he could do what he'd told himself he would and grow the fuck up.

"What is it?"


"This medical thing.  It's been going on forever and I wanna know what it is.  I should know, anyway.  What if I caught something off you?"

Yondu stood up abruptly, shaking his head.  "It ain't nothing you can catch!  If it was, I woulda told you, you know that.  I ain't that kinda asshole."

"Then what is it?  You gotta tell me or I'm gonna go find somewhere else to sleep and there ain't gonna be anyone to figure out what the fuck's wrong with the brat, you hear me?"  Kraglin was pretty sure he was overstepping by a long shot.  He was pretty sure he was fucking up everything with every word.  Yondu wasn't going to accept this shit.  Yondu wasn't going to explain shit.  He never did.

He looked flabbergasted.  He stared at Kraglin in horror.  "You wouldn't."

"I fucking well would."

"You wouldn't.  You ain't gonna go anywhere.  You ain't thought about it since the first night you hopped in my bed."

Kraglin almost caved.  Yondu had a point.  He hadn't really looked twice at anyone.  He had exactly the person he wanted and that hadn't changed.  Yeah, sure, sometimes he found a bot for variety or he'd share a flesh hooker with Yondu, but he hadn't been interested in pursuing anyone in years.  His type was blue, bald and brash, with teeth that'd make an ugly dog cry.  That was it for him.

But if he just did what Yondu said, if he shut up and stopped asking for an explanation, then he would have gotten exactly nowhere.  He would still be fucking stuck in bed with a man who had no interest whatsoever in fucking him and he was going to be masturbating in bathrooms for the rest of his life.

"I will," he said decisively.  "Something's fucked up.  It's driving me insane.  I don't need your fucking stupid insistence that I belong to you.  You're fucking stupid if you think I ain't noticed that you're making me back the fuck off of everything.  Ever since we picked up your new brat, you been totally caught up in making sure I ain't gonna get laid.  You punishing me?  That what this shit is about?"

"It's a medical thing.   I keep telling you that."  Yondu crossed his arms and curled his lip.  "You stupid or deaf?  Cause I keep saying the same damn thing and you keep fucking ignoring me."

"I ain't ignoring you.  I just don't believe you.  You ain't given me a timeline about how long it's gonna take to get better.  You ain't told me what it is.  I don't even fucking know how to cover your back if something goes wrong with it in front of the crew or something.  What if we're planetside on a job and you lose it?  I don't know shit and it ain't right."  Kraglin wanted to clamp his mouth shut and not say another word, but they kept coming, word after word falling from his lips.  "I'm fucking finished with being kept in the dark.  I can't do my job and I can't make you happy and I can't keep looking after that fucking brat if I don't got any damn idea what's going on.  It ain't fair."

"No, it ain't."  Yondu frowned.  "But I don't got a timeline.  I don't know how long this lasts, but I figure it's gotta go back to normal eventually."

"Well, tell me what it is.  I might not know when eventually is, but at least I deserve to know that you are getting better."

Yondu sighed.  "You don't wanna know."

"I'm very, very sure that I fucking well do,” Kraglin spat.  He was done with being told what he wanted.  He knew what he wanted.  He wanted some idea of what was wrong with his captain, his lover and his best friend.

"It's disgusting."

"So?  You seen me shit myself after I ate something that ain't right for my biology, I can handle whatever the fuck this is."

"You ain't gonna believe me.  You're gonna tell me I'm lying and I ain't ."  Yondu looked away nervously, pressing his lips together. At least, Kraglin thought he was nervous.  He'd never seen Yondu look nervous before, so he couldn't be sure. It was a good sign, at least, that he wasn't pursing his lips to whistle.  He wouldn't put it past Yondu to whistle him down one day.

"I swear I'm gonna believe you.  Just tell me what the fuck it is.  This ain't fair."

Yondu sighed.  "You laugh or you say you don't believe me and I swear that I'm gonna whistle you down and leave your corpse to desicate in the fucking void."

Kraglin moved to catch Yondu's eyes, then stared right into them.  "I ain't gonna laugh and I'm gonna believe you.  I promise."

"Fine.  You're gonna hate this."

Kraglin was pretty sure that was actually right and he was.  He wasn't going to tell Yondu that, though.  He was going to take whatever it was standing up and he wasn't going to say a fucking word.

"Sit down.  If you don't, I ain't responsible for whatever the fuck happens next."

Kraglin rolled his eyes and sat in Yondu's desk chair.  "Fine.  I'm sitting.  Now what's wrong?  You dying?  This some kind of set up so I don't know?"

"I ain't dying.  Doc says it's normal and natural.  I think it's fucked all to hell."  Yondu turned away, staring at one of the baubles on the shelf behind his desk.  "I had some pain in my nethers, so I went and chatted to Doc a bit.  She said weren't nothing wrong with me but things still got fucked up and it ain't gonna get better, maybe.  I still think it is, but she says it ain't."

That all told Kraglin exactly nothing, but he wasn't going to interrupt.  Yondu hated interrupting.  It would piss him off and distract him.  Then Kraglin might never find out what was going on.

"Pain's pretty well gone so I figure it's mostly finished, anyway."

"Finished what?"

Yondu tensed, back going rigid.  "Growing a cunt."

Kraglin stopped.  He couldn't say exactly what he stopped, but everything, inside and out, stopped.  Everything.  He was fairly sure his pulse stopped, even.  Yondu had just said something completely impossible.  Kraglin's boyfriend had not turned into a girlfriend.  His boyfriend had a cock, fat and short and proud.  He had glorious testicles that hung low when the Eclector's heat venting went wrong and everyone overheated a little.  

He didn't have a cunt.  He didn't leak.  He was a he.  He had a nice deep voice and a little scruffy patch of chin hairs.  He wasn't all smooth and soft and horrible.  He was exactly what Kraglin wanted.

Kraglin swallowed, watching Yondu's back and everything started again.  "Think I maybe heard you a little wrong there, cap'n."

"Doubt it."  Yondu wasn't moving, tension mounting in his shoulders until Kraglin was a little bit afraid something would tear.

"Say it again."

"I grew a fucking cunt," Yondu snapped.

Kraglin blew out a long breath, trying to find the words to respond to that.  "That's... something.  That's really something."

Yondu nodded, one sharp, irritated movement.  "Yeah.  It's something all right."

"It hurt a lot?"

"For weeks.  Started hurting just before we picked up Quill."

Kraglin slumped in the chair.  They'd fucked the night before they picked up Peter and something had seemed off but Kraglin had just assumed that Yondu's mind was on the job.  "Shit."

"Only get twinges now."

"That sucks."

"Yeah."  Yondu turned as if he was going to look at Kraglin, but resolutely stared at the wall.  

Kraglin didn't know what to say after that.  It sounded like Yondu had really gone through some shit and Kraglin didn't have the first idea how to respond.  He didn't have words to deal with this kind of thing and he wasn't sure he ever would.

"Doc says it's a response to a lack of female centaurians.  I dunno what to do with that.  Keep wondering if I go to a reservation and find one to fuck if it'll all go back to normal."

"It wouldn't, though, would it?" Kraglin asked.  "I mean, you don't really got anything to fuck her with, do you?"

Yondu whirled around.  "What do you mean I don't got nothing to fuck her with?  Of course I got something to fuck her with!"  He started yanking at his pants.  "Don't be so fucking stupid!  Look!  Look, my cock is right fucking here!"

Kraglin watched in horrified curiosity as, sure enough, Yondu's cock was exposed, his balls hanging just where they'd always been.  They weren't gone.  They were still there, something that seemed completely impossible.  "How?"

"I don't fucking well know!  I grew a cunt, I didn't chop off my dick!"  Yondu stomped over, pants low on his hips, to show Kraglin.

Kraglin looked at Yondu's cock with relief.  There it was, just like always.  It hadn't changed.  It hadn't been altered.  It looked like it always did when Yondu was flaccid, like potential.  It was something that could rapidly become something Kraglin wanted more than anything.  It was fun to play with when it was soft.  It squished easily and responded quickly.  

"You gonna look at me or is that the only damn thing you care about?" Yondu snarled.

Kraglin looked up at him and shook his head.  "Course not.  It's... Just a thing.  A thing I like and I'm glad it ain't gone."

"It ain't going nowhere.  Doc says it'll stick around.  Just... my body's trying to make the whole reproductive thing move along and it ain't my idea."  Yondu crossed his arms defensively and Kraglin realized, belatedly, just how nervous Yondu was.  

Yondu hid behind bluster and bravado.  He never let himself be seen vulnerable.  It wasn't his style.  But here, in these moments, with Kraglin reacting to this, whatever this was, he was.  He was worried.  He was afraid of Kraglin's response and Kraglin realized with a sinking feeling just how badly he'd acted.

Of course there were reasons.  They were up the nebula without a jump drive.  Some of their best people had left them.  They had lost the fleet.  They had gained a brat that they couldn't do anything with.  They'd lost one of their best customers because he was a monster on a level even criminals and thieves wouldn't mess with.  

Kraglin hadn't slept well in weeks.  He'd been trying to run interference between Yondu and the remaining crew.  He'd been badly injured trying to get rid of some bad seeds.  He had reasons why this was something that had gone too far for him to be placid about it.

None of it mattered, though.  Yondu had exposed himself, and not just by putting his cock out on display, and Kraglin had fucked up.  He'd acted like there was something horribly wrong with Yondu and in doing, he'd shaken some part of Yondu's delicate confidence.  Not that he'd ever tell Yondu to his face that he knew how delicate he was.  That was a capital offense, like so many on the Eclector.

"Well.  It's doing shit against your will and who the fuck cares," Kraglin said, the words ringing more hollow than he'd intended.  They were too little, too late and Yondu shrugged rather than whatever else he might have done if Kraglin hadn't made a complete mess of things.

"It ain't like I'm gonna be popping out kids.  One brat on the ship's more than enough."  Yondu uncrossed his arms a little, but his shoulders stayed tight and he couldn't quite meet Kraglin's eyes.  

"I'll say."  Kraglin didn't know if he was allowed to touch Yondu anymore.  Before he'd failed to be--he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be supportive or friendly or loving or excited, but whatever it was Yondu had hoped he'd be, he'd failed at it, and badly--whatever it was he'd failed to be, he'd been allowed.  He'd tested it and found that he could, found that Yondu wasn't just trying to get rid of him.  Of course that might not be true anymore.

And of course, it made sense that Yondu had been avoiding him, Kraglin realized in a rush of guilt.  It wasn't like he'd ever been quiet about how he'd felt about what lay between a woman's legs.  He'd been loud about it, especially when drunk.  He'd whined about Yondu picking a female bot over a male one on more than one occasion when they'd shared.  He'd talked about how much he hated the oozing and he'd been an asshole about it.

He knew for a fact that there was more than one woman out there in the galaxy that wanted to shoot him over his bullshit and now he could add to that list at least one man.  He'd fucked up and it wasn't just about the previous few minutes.  It was about his and Yondu's entire acquaintance.

"Cap'n, it twinging right now?" Kraglin asked, after an uncomfortably long silence.

Yondu shook his head.  "Nah, it's been pretty good today.  Might actually be at the end of it.  Course, I got no fucking idea how to reverse it and Doc won't even consider it.  Fucking bitch.  This ain't something I ever asked for and I should be able to pick getting rid of it if I fucking well want."

"Yeah," Kraglin said, sympathetically.  

Doc was good at her job.  She looked out for her crew and that was honestly the only reason she'd stuck around.  Her loyalty wasn't to the fleet, wasn't to the Ogords.  It wasn't to Yondu, even.  She'd taken what she called a 'sworn duty of care' to the crew of the Eclector and she had no intention of leaving her patients behind.  That said, however, she was very much anti-modder.  

It didn't come up often.  Very few Ravagers, for reasons that Kraglin had never been clear on, were modders.  Lots of them had important prosthetics--Yondu with his fin, Vorker with his eye, more than a fair number of prosthetic feet and limbs--and Doc surely didn't object to that.  Restoring someone to their proper form, she said, was art.  Altering someone for reasons of what she considered vanity, however, was apparently an offense to some deity she'd sworn to serve when she'd become a medic.  That meant that she was rarely willing to add anything or alter anything natural.  

Oh, sure, it was something she was a hypocrite about.  She'd excise a tumour, fix up an aneurism that was waiting to burst.  She'd fix a failing heart.  But if someone was built a certain way and the rest of their species went mostly that direction, she'd dig in her damn heels and refuse to do anything about it, no matter how much anyone begged.  It was part of the reason she'd refused to have anything to do with Peter's translation chip.  He was, she said, pure and perfect and it wouldn't do for her to be the one to first alter that purity.

Kraglin thought it was a load of crap and had told her that on more than one occasion.  It wasn't an argument she was willing to have, however.  When anyone tried to engage her, she went silent and ducked her head over her work.  It was maddening.

"If you wanted, maybe we can save up a little, get ourselves back to the surgeon that did Quill's chip.  Get it closed up and stopped or whatever it is it needs done to it."

Yondu nodded.  "Yeah, maybe."

Kraglin couldn't tell if the slow, cautious way those words came out were because Yondu was nervous about the idea of surgery or because Kraglin had fucked up again, but he carried forward anyway.  "Get it all took care of and you don't gotta worry anymore.  No reproductive bullshit to worry about, tell your damn body to shut its damn mouth."

Something twitched in Yondu's face and Kraglin tensed, waiting for a whistle.  Whistle didn't come.  Instead, Yondu's mouth pulled slowly into a smile and he started laughing quietly.  "Don't you mean its downstairs mouth?"

Kraglin stared in horror.  Yondu was making jokes about it.  Was Kraglin supposed to?  Was Kraglin aggressively not supposed to?  Was Yondu just so upset he was getting a bit hysterical?  Kraglin didn't know.  Yondu didn't usually joke about anything that got under his skin.  He whistled and it went away.  

"Uh, sure, Cap'n."

Yondu chortled to himself a few minutes, then shook his head and rolled his eyes, his face relaxing a little.  "Might be a plan.  Might not.  Doc says it could do me real damage, but I think she's full of it."

"She is, sometimes."  For all her hatred of modders, she rarely lied to anyone, even if she thought it would prevent them getting a mod.  Something about not pushing her beliefs on others, to which Kraglin again thought hypocrite .

Yondu got serious for a moment.  "Really, though.  I... I dunno what's gonna happen from here on out.  I didn't know this could happen, you know?"

"Me either," Kraglin said, then winced, because of course he hadn't known.  There was no way for him to know.  

"I'm... I'm going to figure it out, though."

Kraglin nodded.  "Course you are.  You're Yondu Udonta.  Figuring shit out's what you do.  Right after robbing the pants off people."

Yondu nodded and went quiet, standing there awkwardly.  It was as if he'd finally realized his cock was out and his pants were open.  His quarters were honestly never all that warm.  Yondu preferred to sleep under a pile of blankets and furs with cool, almost cold, air around him.  Kraglin was glad for the blankets.  When things were cold, he always found himself perky and awake in a way that could be really annoying both for him and for anyone else around him.  Kraglin wondered if Yondu's dick was cold.

It probably was.  Only now it had been out in the open long enough that moving to put it away was going to be awkward.  Leaving it out was awkward.  Yondu's cock was the most awkward thing in the room and since Kraglin was in the room, that was really fucking saying something.

"So, uh," Kraglin started.  "If you ain't having any twinges right now.  And I got rid of the brat for a few hours.  Then... maybe... Um.  I mean.  You got your cock out and all.  Seems like a shame to just put it away."

Yondu looked from his cock to Kraglin and back again.  "Yeah.  Little bit of a waste."

"And I ain't got laid in forever."

"You been saving yourself for me?  How sweet ," Yondu said, sarcastically.

"Oh, yes, the romance of it," Kraglin said flatly, eyeing up Yondu's dick.  He leaned forward to put his face a few inches from Yondu's waist and was gratified when Yondu moved forward to shove his pelvis against Kraglin's cheek.

It was going to be one of those times, then.  The kind where Yondu was bossy and Kraglin was awkward and Kraglin left sex feeling kind of like he'd fucked it up, but not sure since everyone had got off.  He knew he wasn't any kind of great catch, but he did pride himself on making sure anyone he was with got off at least once.  Yondu, he usually got off two or three times.  Yondu's species didn't seem to have a refractory period, something Kraglin was endlessly fascinated by and jealous of.

Kraglin turned his face a bit to nuzzle at Yondu's dick while he worked the laces of his jump suit.  He was maybe a little more ripe than was optimally considered sexy, but he'd showered recently enough he was pretty sure Yondu wouldn't reject him.  After all, it had been awhile since either of them had got off with the other.  Yondu was probably just as hard up as Kraglin.  He'd probably been jerking it just as often as Kraglin.

At least, Kraglin hoped so, or he was just pathetic.  And yes, he was pathetic a lot of the time, but at least he wasn't that pathetic.  Not too pathetic.  He could still find someone interested in fucking him and keep them interested, even through what was apparently a massive physical change.

It was kind of nice.

Also kind of nice was the slow warming of Yondu's flesh as he took Yondu's flaccid dick between his lips and flickered his tongue over the tip.  Yes, Yondu's dick had been cold, but Kraglin was warming it from within and without, feeling Yondu's hot blood pulse through the thin skin of his shaft.  

Kraglin closed his eyes and took it in, enjoying the way that Yondu's cock slowly plumped up to fill his mouth more and more with each passing moment.  It was calming, almost.  It felt nice.  He was, he hoped, undoing some of whatever damage he'd done in assuming Yondu had lost his dick.  It would be nice, after all, if he could fix that, even a little.

Yondu's cock grew more firm and his hands brushed the longer hair at the top of Kraglin's head.  Kraglin kept fumbling with the laces on his jumpsuit, slowly unravelling them as he tried to get out of it before his cock got hard enough that the restrictive leather actually hurt.  It was a race he'd both won and lost dozens of times and every time, he swore he'd add a zipper to the jumpsuit.  Every time, he forgot by the time he had a mouth or a hand or an ass around his cock and he wouldn't remember until the next time.

This was one of the times he was going to lose the race and the ache where his dick pressed against the leather at the crotch of his jumpsuit almost felt good.  He wasn't into pain, not even at the best of times, but that little jolt of pain reminded him that he had a job to do.  It was his job to make Yondu feel so good that he forgot Kraglin screwing up his reactions to Yondu's new... bits.

He pulled his mouth off Yondu's cock and looked up.  "Bed?"

"Yeah," Yondu said.  "Bed.  Ain't gonna stand in front of my desk with my cock out like some kind of damn porn holo all day."

Kraglin nodded and pushed the chair back from Yondu.  He stood and shoved his jumpsuit off, crumpling it on the floor.  Yondu, as always, had more layers but he shoved off Kraglin's attempts to help.  "Go lay down so I can fuck your damn face," Yondu told him.  

Kraglin did as he was told, stumbling through the doorway from ready room to bedroom.  He could do as he was told.  He was going to show Yondu he could be good.  He managed, narrowly, not to trip over the combination of jumpsuit and boots, then he went and stretched out.  If Yondu wanted his mouth, if Yondu wanted to use it, to choke him a little, then Yondu had earned it.  He shifted down the bed so Yondu would be able to get some leverage on the headboard or the pillows and he waited.

He waited what felt like a very long time.  Yondu wore too many layers, always had.  It always took forever for Yondu to get undressed or dressed and usually kraglin didn't mind.  Yondu's people were from a rainforest.  He liked to be warm and keep his body's humidity against his skin so he didn't get too dried out.  Kraglin respected it.  He always had.  It hadn't ever been anything he had been bothered by, but he was antsy.

He was antsy and Yondu was definitely taking longer than he needed to to undress.  He was definitely not speeding through it.  Kraglin played with his dick and tried to tell himself that Yondu wasn't mad.  Yondu wasn't upset.  Yondu wasn't rejecting him in slow motion.  He wanted Kraglin's mouth.  He'd told Kraglin what he was going to do and Yondu never went back on what he said he was going to do.

But he also usually at least made an effort to speed his way out of all his layers.  If Yondu wasn't still all that mad at Kraglin then the only remaining option was that he was scared and Kraglin was pretty sure he had struck the nail on the head with that one.  It was entirely reasonable for Yondu, who had heard so many of Kraglin's drunken diatribes, laughed at them, even, to be nervous about exposing himself fully.

"Shift change'll happen before you get done if you don't hurry up."

"I'm working on it, you greedy fuck," Yondu snapped, fumbling with a boot lace.  He never fumbled with anything.  He'd had too much training ever to do that.  He was definitely nervous.

"If you'd let me help, we'd be fucking by now."

"I don't need help.  I grew a cunt, I ain't an invalid!"

"Never said you were.  Just said I wanted your fucking dick.  And I can see it and it's right there and I want it."  Kraglin hoped that being a little petulant wouldn't be a total turn off.  He hadn't ever seen Yondu like this, not about sex.

"Fine, fine, just a d'ast second," Yondu said, kicking off the offending boot.  "You're gonna get it.  I ain't gonna take away your favourite toy."

"Good," Kraglin said.  "Cause I'd have to spend more time wanking in the bathroom and you'd get pissy about the lost time."

"You jerk off more than's decent," Yondu said, shaking his head.  "Should get checked.  Could be some kind of disease."

"A disease that makes me want to fuck you?  You better hope I ain't planning to get cured," Kraglin replied.

Yondu appeared to relax, just a little.  It wasn't a big change, but it was a nice one.  Quiet banter and insults had always been part of it when they fucked and it was a relief to see that wasn't entirely broken.  It was ragged and jagged and Kraglin had added some more sharp edges, but it was okay.

"You better not.  I ain't planning to go fucking my way down the chain of command.  Ain't decent."

It really wasn't and that was lined out in the code.  There were a lot of things in the code, things Kraglin hadn't expected when he'd first signed on.  Yes, there were a couple of important bits that everyone knew from moment one, but there were dozens of lines, all of them important to anyone in command.  

When Yondu and Kraglin had started fucking, they'd had to register it with Stakar.  Stakar had interviewed them separately and together.  He'd made Charlie do a cross-examination.  It had been humiliating and obnoxious and Kraglin had hated every second of it, but he'd also understood the importance of it.  

The code laid out very clearly that no Ravager was ever to coerce another being into sex.  Most of the rules only applied to crimes against other Ravagers.  Steal from everyone, but not other Ravagers.  Kill whoever you want, but not other Ravagers.  There were a lot of rules, but only a handful applied to people who weren't Ravagers.  Ravagers might, well, Ravage.  They might steal and cheat and do all kinds of awful things, but Ravagers were not rapists.

There was no one to register with anymore.  There was no check or balance.  Without those things, Yondu couldn't ethically start up a new relationship, not with any other Ravager.  It was Kraglin or he could maybe find someone in some port.  There were enough Ravagers with 'families' of sorts on Knowhere that it wasn't unheard of, but Kraglin didn't think Yondu would find it satisfying.

"You don't gotta worry.  I ain't going anywhere."  Kraglin watched as Yondu yanked off the last of his undershirts and stomped over.  He threw himself onto the bed and crawled over to line himself up with Kraglin's mouth.  

Kraglin opened his mouth and let Yondu slide his dick between Kraglin's lips.  He closed his eyes, taking in the texture and flavour of Yondu's cock.  It was salty, sour, a little unpleasant.  But it was all Yondu.  It was Yondu's cock in Kraglin's mouth and it could be as disgusting as it wanted to be, Kraglin wasn't going to complain.  He'd welcome it, even.  He just needed Yondu.

Yondu fucked his mouth slowly, cock sliding in and out of his mouth at Yondu's chosen pace.  He always started slow, gave Kraglin time to adjust.  It was nice.  He wasn't one for cutting off air or anything.  It was good.  

At first, it was like nothing had changed and it was so perfect Kraglin could barely believe it.  He could take Yondu's cock, just like always.  He could suck on it, make Yondu feel good.  He could make this work.  Nothing that mattered had changed.

And the big things really hadn't.  There was a cock, Yondu's impressive upper body and core strength keeping him from crushing Kraglin's face.  There were Yondu's soft gasps and grunts.  There was the occasional sweet-salty burst across his tongue as Yondu's cock leaked a little.  It was peaceful and normal.

As it went on, however, Kraglin started noticing the differences.  There was a new smell layered under the usual 'Yondu's sweaty balls' scent.  It was sour and made the sweat smell worse than it really was.  That was really the first thing he noticed.  He made a mental note to ask Yondu to please consider washing his cunt a little before they next fucked and he kept going.

The thing that really drove it home, though, was when he reached up to play with Yondu's balls and found the back of them slimy and a little sticky.  Kraglin didn't like it, but he didn't have much time to consider what that meant before Yondu was shooting down his throat.

That tasted the same, at least.  The quantity was the same, too.  It was just enough flooding his mouth to make him cough a little, but not enough to make him choke.  A quick swallow and it was gone.  It always had to be quick or it'd stop up the back of his throat it was so sticky.  

Yondu pulled his cock out of Kraglin's mouth and flopped over onto the bed next to him.  "Satisfied?"

Kraglin raised an eyebrow, then looked down at his cock, waving freely in the air.  "Do I look satisfied?"

"Not that kind of satisfied.  You got your curiosity over and done with?  You done acting like I'm a fucking freak?

"You've always been a fucking freak," Kraglin said.  "If you stopped, I'm pretty sure you'd be a corpse."

Yondu reached over to smack his chest.  "Serious."

"Don't think you're a freak.  Just sick of shit changing.  Keeps fucking happening lately and I'm done."

Yondu squinted, raising his head to glare.  "You thinking about leaving?  Gonna go begging back to Stakar?  Gonna tell him you didn't know I was picking up kids?"

Kraglin shook his head and sighed.  Apparently he wasn't going to be getting off.  He might as well resign himself to it.  "Not what I mean.  Just..."  He waved a hand towards the hammock.  "It's a lot.  You know?  I hate kids, but I got one fucking clinging to me every goddamn second.  I like being a Ravager.  I love it.  Only place that ever fucking wanted me.  Only now 99 clans don't and it's for doing something any of them would've fucking well done.  And I'm tired.  I'm tired of the brat sniffling and I'm tired of you not wanting me."

Yondu smacked him again.  "Quit your bitching.  Ain't so bad.  Got a solid ship.  Got a crew.  With any luck that little shit's gonna have some Celestial powers and help us out a little once he gets big enough.  He better turn us a profit, anyway, or I swear I'm gonna eat him."

"I wish we could.  Fuck.  He spends just as much time with you as he does with me.  Ain't you sick of him yet?"

"I am.  It's why I got a plan.  Get the little brat to stay more at arms-length.  Gonna tell him if he don't stop being such a shit, I'm gonna turn the crew loose and let them eat him.  You wanna stand behind me with your teeth out?  Probably scare him off of trying so damn hard to be your friend, any."

"That'd be nice.  He never stops talking.  I dunno how he breathes.  We sure Terrans don't breathe out their asses?  Cause I'm starting to think they do and the talking is some kind of indigestion."

"That's stupid.  Don't be stupid.  It ain't a good look on you."

"Yeah, well.  It's fucking weird, okay?  It ain't decent."  Kraglin rolled onto his side and faced Yondu properly, drawing his knees up slightly into the space between them.

"You talk damn near that much when you're railing me from behind.  Don't see how you got a problem with it."

"Ain't decent for public, is it?  You'd get pretty damn pissed if I was to go ahead and rail you in the mess, talking like that."  Kraglin knew the limits of Yondu's patience and he knew for damn sure that it would go beyond just testing his patience to do that.  Kraglin would die, sure as he was alive and laying in Yondu's bed.

"Point," Yondu allowed.  "Still, you got a mouth on you.  He's probably gonna shut up someday."

"Terrans get quieter when they get bigger?"  Kraglin had caught glimpses of some kind of entry on Terrans over Yondu's shoulder a few times since he'd announced they were keeping Peter, but he wasn't sure what it said.  Kraglin had learned to read a little late in life for optimal fluency.

"Dunno.  I ain't got that much detailed information and he's only half anyway.  Which we ain't fucking telling him.  Make sure the crew remembers that.  I don't want Quill walking around all big for his britches thinking he's a god.  He's basically an infant."

"Cries like one, that's for sure."

"Yeah.  Fuck.  Wakes me up at least twice a night."

"He does?"  Kraglin hadn't realized.  By the time he finally passed out most nights, he was so exhausted he slept through.

Yondu nodded.  "Yeah, poor little fucker still misses his mama.  Don't half blame him if she's as decent as he claims.  Might not be, though.  Kids are real attached to their mothers for no fucking reason."

Kraglin moved a little closer to Yondu, wondering if perhaps, for once in his life, Yondu would allow a little cuddling.  He looked sad enough, watching the ceiling with a strange intensity.  

Kraglin shrugged. "Dunno about that.  My mother wasn't so bad.  Kept my brothers from trying to eat me."

"Because that's a real big job."

"I was scrawny and they weren't sure I was gonna live to grow up anyway.  Couple of my oldest brothers figured they might as well not waste the meat."

"At least that makes sense.  Families are some weird fucking bullshit most of the time.  All tied together and sort of... I dunno.  Stuck on each other.  Backing each other up when they should really just shut the fuck up and let the shitty one get their ass kicked."  Yondu made a disgusted sound, almost a retch.  "Makes me sick."

"It's kinda nice when you ain't getting bit all over.  I mean... fuck.  My mom was pretty decent, you know?"

"You telling me the kid ain't a fucking baby?  Cause I can put you on permanent kid-wrangling duties if you think you can see his side and make him feel better and shit.  Can make you the number one babysitter."

Kraglin groaned and turned his face into the pillow.  "Don't even joke about that.  I'd space us both.  At least I wouldn't be able to hear him through the void.  He's driving me insane.  Slowly insane.  You know some of the shit he thinks about males that fuck other males?"

"Aw fuck.  He told you that, too?  It's bullshit.  Don't think about it twice.  His god can't get us out here.  It’s too far.  Ain't that powerful or his god woulda got his people out into space proper.  But Terrans is planetbound, so we know their god sucks."  The bed shifted a little and Yondu's hand landed on Kraglin's upper arm.

Kraglin snorted into the pillow, but it came out as more of a snuffle through the fluff in there.  "I ain't afraid of no Terran god."

"His AIDS ain't gonna get you either."

"I know that.  It's just annoying as fuck."

"Like everything else about him," Yondu said, giving his arm a squeeze.  "You don't gotta think about that shit.  You ain't got nothing to worry about."

Kraglin turned his head a little so he could almost see Yondu, and nodded.  "Ain't.  Just... it's a shitty thing for him to say.  Fuck knows he's gonna have a hell of a time finding any of his own species to fuck when the time comes.  Wonder what his god'd say about that."

"Dunno.  I ain't gonna ask.  He'd probably tell me and I probably don't wanna hear it.  He's a baby.  He ain't fucking anyone for at least twenty years."  

Kraglin nodded.  That sounded like a good plan.  Twenty years and then some on top was a pretty safe bet for a being actually being fully grown and adult-like.  Better to make sure Yondu didn't have to mow down crew for touching the kid.  Kraglin would put out an announcement on the comm system later.  Twenty years until Peter was an adult.

Twenty years, though, was a very, very long time.  Kraglin could be dead a dozen times over in twenty years.  Yondu would be if Kraglin didn't step up watching Yondu's back.  Kraglin turned his face back into the pillow.  Fuck everything.  Maybe if he kept the pillow over his face long enough, it would smother him and he wouldn't have to worry about this shit anymore.

A finger prodded his ribs, then there was a sigh and a hand wrapped loosely around his cock.  "You're gonna be a bitchy little baby if you don't get some, huh?"

Kraglin debated his options.  On the one hand, if he said yes, Yondu might kick his ass.  On the other, if he said yes, Yondu might just take pity on him.  His odds of getting to jizz at someone else's hand were, he decided, slightly higher if he said yes, so he nodded.  

"All right."  Yondu gave him a little squeeze.  "I been wondering about trying this damn thing out, anyway.  You ain't gonna have to do any damn work if you stick it in there.  No lube, no stretching, so you might as well."

Kraglin's brain stuttered a little.  He knew Yondu well enough to know this was a test.  Yondu wanted to know if he was going to be a dick about his new anatomy, the way he'd been a dick about so many other beings' anatomy.  Kraglin could hear it in the forced casualness and feel it in the way Yondu's hand was just a little too snug around Kraglin's cock.

It was a trap and the only way out was to put his dick somewhere it had never been before.  Somewhere he'd never really wanted it to go.  Somewhere he still didn't want it to go.  

If he said no, Yondu might not toss him out of his bed.  He might be able to claim he just wasn't ready yet.  But it wasn't going to go away.  It would keep coming back and every time he put Yondu off, it would get a little harder to say yes.  Every time he said no, it would make Yondu a little more pissed off.  Eventually, Yondu would toss him back and he'd be forced to move into the little nook he'd set aside for himself.

"This ain't me saying no or nothing," Kraglin said, grateful that his voice was staying steady and calm.  "But I heard some species got teeth in there.  Shi'ar and a couple others.  You didn't sprout any of those I gotta be careful about, right?"

Yondu hummed to himself curiously and his hand disappeared from Kraglin's dick.  It stayed away a moment and when it closed around Kraglin's cock again, it was wetter and more slippery.  "Nah, not that I can find."

"Well.  Good."  That was something, at least.  Surely, sticking his cock in there couldn't be so bad as long as he didn't get bit by anything.  He looked over at Yondu.  "How you wanna do this?  You wanna get up there and ride me or you got other plans?"

Yondu snorted.  "You think I'm gonna do all the fucking work?  Get over here and do your share."  He flopped over onto his back and spread his legs.

Kraglin sighed.  Okay.  So Yondu wasn't going to make this easy.  Yondu was going to be an asshole.   

"What, you having second thoughts?  Get over here."

"I ain't having second thoughts," Kraglin grumbled, already moving.  "I just figured you might have a better time if you were picking how it goes.  Saw it in a holo once.  Easier for the girl if she's--"

Yondu thumped him in the chest hard enough to wind him and sat up.  "I ain't a girl," he said, in dangerous tones.  "So you can get that right the fuck outta your stupid fuzzy head."

"Never said you was a girl," Kraglin gasped, after a few seconds.  "Just.  You got different parts, more like a girl and they probably work the same as a girl and I dunno, I ain't never had them or been involved with them so I got no idea how they work!"

"You keep this shit up and you ain't never gonna learn, either.  Keep up like this and you ain't gonna have a chance at learning because I'm gonna whistle your dick off, we clear?"

Kraglin nodded, eyes wide.  Yeah, he was clear on it.  It was possibly the only thing he could think of worse than just straight up being killed.  

"Good."  Yondu rolled, ending up sitting on the edge of his bed.  "I got work to do.  Ain't got time for this shit."

"But--"  Kraglin didn't want to let him go.  He didn't want Yondu walking away with the idea Kraglin was done.  He wasn't.  Yeah, he'd fucked up.  He was pretty good at fucking up.  But he didn't want this to be the end of things.

Yondu started picking up his clothes. "You got jobs to figure out.  Put your clothes on and go talk to nav about the easiest jumps to make.  What'll conserve fuel.  I ain't gonna put up with any waste.  We need to get our damn budget in order and start making some money."

Kraglin's heart sank.  That was so strictly professional.  "Cap'n..."

Yondu looked up from trying to detangle socks, pants and boots.  "You gonna ask to quit your job cause I grew a cunt?"

"No!  I just--"

"Don't give a fuck what you just.  Get your clothes on and get to work, Obfonteri.  I'll see you when you got some jobs we can pull.  And none of your sneaky getting rid of crew.  We get rid of anyone else and we're gonna have problems with basic maintenance.  I ain't willing to play those games."  Yondu pulled a sock on and glared.

"Yessir," Kraglin said weakly, as he pushed himself up, off the bed.  It was possibly the quietest, coldest they'd ever been while they got dressed and Kraglin didn't like it.