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Into The Darkness, We Hold The Light

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The first thing Ryan noticed when he got off the boat and took his first steps into Ferelden's land was how much cooler it was than his home in the Free Marches. The winters in the Marches could get cold, that was no question, but Ferelden was further south from the equator and it's winds had a harsher bite to them than the young Trevelyan was used to. The second thing he noticed was the amount of soldiers milling around. Noble houses back home had their own small armies, or a small legion of chevaliers, but Ferelden had a standing army. Seeing all the soldiers wearing the same colors and not the different colors of different houses was rather... odd.

"Lord Trevelyan?" A voice said beside him. The voice of one of his assigned chevaliers. Ryan had been tasked with seeing that his sister was safe and in good health. They'd received her letter, sent by the Inquisition, but his parents had insisted that there be more physical proof that their daughter was staying of her own free will. When leaving home he'd been assigned two chevaliers to escort him to Haven.

"Yes?" Ryan asked. He felt rather foolish and young standing next to his bodyguards. These were men who'd fought in tournaments, trained with other knights, and passed any test they'd been given. Ryan wasn't an infant, he knew how to use a sword, the proof that one was strapped to his side. Yet here he was - standing on the port looking around like a lost child.

"Shall we get horses? Haven is a two day ride from here." The other chevalier spoke, stepping in closer so that Ryan could hear him without him having to shout over the sounds of the nearby dock.

"Yes. We should be off as soon as possible. I'm rather anxious to see this Haven place." Ryan followed the knights as they went about purchasing everything they would need for the ride. Horses, food, more clothing for the cold, and proper equipment to make camp. The knights didn't allow Ryan to lift or pack anything away claiming it was not his job to do but theirs. Again there was the feeling of being a child, but the noble figured that complaining would only cement the view, so he remained quiet.

The horses they obtained were a fine breed. Tall, sure footed, and well mannered. When making camp Ryan would tend to the horses. The knights tried to protest at first, but Ryan quickly shut them down by telling them that if he wasn't doing something then he was going to go crazy. He also may have told them that he was extremely fond of the beasts, and that he took great pride in them being present on his family crest. The two men let him be after that and instead focused on making camp.

The weather was kind to them and with such strong horses the two day trek was cut to a day and a half. Night was falling when Haven came to view. The breach in the distance illuminated the sky with a green tint. It was disturbing to think that his sister had been inside of that thing, had survived the blast at all, and lived. As they approached, one of the knights unfolded the Trevelyan flag and held it high enough to be seen from the gate.

"Wouldn't want them to mistake us for trouble." The knight told Ryan with a chuckle. 

"Oh, but we are." Snickered the other.

"Hush you two." Ryan said with a playful smile. "We need to be professional about this."

"Yes, my Lord." They replied in unison.

The sounds of swords hitting shields echoed as they approached the gates. There was a line of men and women training just to the side of the outside wall. It seemed to be practice rather than honing of skill. Recruits then.

"Getting ready for a battle." One of his knights hummed thoughtfully.

"A battle of what kind?" Ryan mused.

"I suppose we shall have to inquire." The knight quipped back.

The three of them rode though the open gates and made their way to the Chantry. There were whispers and stares that followed them along the way. Ryan straightened his posture in attempt to look more regal. He was a noble from Ostwick, his house the third biggest clan within the Free Marches and the seventh illustrious, it was expected of him to carry himself with purpose. 

Once in front of the Chantry, the three men dismounted smoothly. The knight holding the flag took the reins of the horses and stood outside while the other knight and Ryan entered the building. Candles along the walls and well placed torches kept the inside lit. With night falling it was comforting to not have to worry about fumbling around in the dark. As the two men walked their boots echoed across the floor, alerting bystanders of their arrival. One such bystander was a woman in rather ruffled clothing. With a clipboard in hand she met them halfway and stood before them with an air of elegance.

"Good evening. I'm Josephine Montilyet, Ambassador to the Inquisition forces. I'm afraid I wasn't aware of your arrival, Lord...?" She let the sentence hang for a moment in prompt.

"Trevelyan. Ryan Trevelyan. Youngest brother to Evelyn. I've come to see her." Ryan told the Ambassador.

Josephine looked rather uncomfortable. The look on her face was comparable to as if Ryan had declared the room smelled like bile. Nervously she jotted down something on her clipboard before clearing her throat.

"Well, Lord Trevelyan, Lady Evelyn is rather indisposed at the moment. She-" The Ambassador was cut off by the slamming on the Chantry doors.

In the entrance of the Chantry was Evelyn. The eldest was hanging rather dangerously onto the horns of a large qunari male. Said qunari man was laugh uproariously with a tankard of dark liquid sloshing over the side in one hand. 

"There you are!" Evelyn shouted as she released the horn. The noble woman tilted dangerously as she walked towards her brother, and when it looked like she was going to fall Ryan rushed to her side to catch her before she toppled to the ground. "They told me some guy rode in on a horse with a horse banner. Said he was a pretty type. Knew it was you." She slurred as she threw her arm around his shoulder. "Why are you here? Wait, no, don't tell me. You came to surprise me, right? Yeah. That's it." She said drunkenly. 

"Evie, how much have you had to drink?" Ryan asked incredulously. 

"Not enough." She told him confidently. 

"I think you have. Ambassador, where are her quarters?" Ryan turned his head to the best of his abilities to eye the ruffled lady.

"The cabin to the left of the entrance gate. Center one. I can arrange some accommodations for you and your chevaliers within the hour." The woman seem flustered as she hastily scribbled things onto her paper.

"I will bunk down with my sister, we brought enough to make bedding of our own. Don't fret yourself sick." Ryan told her softly.

"Don't worry milady, we knights will camp outside the cabin of our Lord and Lady." The chevalier added.

"I assure you that it is no problem for me to -" Josephine started. Ryan cut her off.

"I insist. Now if you will excuse me, I need to see my sister off to bed. Someone has to be the rational adult around here." He mumbled the last bit as he sent a hard stare to his sister. Evelyn only gave him a bright smile before planting her face into the side of his neck and giggling.

"Alright." Josephine finally conceded with nod. "We shall see you at breakfast then, Lord Trevelyan? I will make arrangements for you to meet with the other leaders of the Inquisition."

"That sounds wonderful. A good night to you milady Montilyet." Ryan gave a small bow of his head before adjusting his grip on his sibling and walked out of the Chantry.

The cold seemed to sober his sister a small bit if he intake a breath was anything to go by. He was thankful for that, it wouldn't look good he if was seen dragging his sister through the snow unconsciously. Not that him dragging her through the snow drunkenly was much better. Maker above, his parents would have a heart attack if they could see their children now.

"Take the horses to the stable for the night. I'll take care of Evelyn." Ryan told his knights. They gave him a curt bow before doing as told. "Alright you." He pulled his sister higher up on his shoulders. Maker why was she so tall? "Let's get you to bed." Evelyn hummed happily at the mention of her bed.

It was a little tricky trying to walk with Evelyn draped over him. Her footing gave out every third or so step which made them almost crash to the ground. Thankfully Ryan was very well versed and handling his drunken sister and had learned how to quickly regain footing. Reaching her cabin he jiggled the door open and threw her on the bed occupying the nearby wall. 

"Come on, you." He fussed as he turned her over and started unlacing her boots. Once he got her comfortable he drew the covers over her and tucked them in. "You aren't going to be sick in the night are you?" He asked her cautiously. Evie shook her head. "Okay. Good." 

"I missed you." Evelyn said sleepily. "I miss mom and dad, too." 

"Why didn't you come back home?" Ryan asked her as he filled a glass with water and sat it next to her bed.

"Couldn't. They need me. Only one who can close the rifts. People dying, Ry. They need me." She mumbled. "I can't leave them. I just can't. We have to fix this. Stop the demons, stop the war, stop the fear." She continued. "I don't know if I can do it though, Ry. I need help. Stay?" She reached out for his hand. "Please?"

Ryan sighed and let her take his hand. She squeezed it gently before falling into sleep.

"I'll stay." He told the night. "As long as you need me."

Ryan woke to a loud and pained groan coming from the other side of the room. Rolling over in his bed roll he blinked his eyes open and watched as his sister gripped her head in both of her hands. The first few times she'd gotten drunk in their younger years he'd felt bad for her, but now they were older he just shrugged it off. She was a grown woman after all and she could make her mistakes.

"You remember last night?" He asked her as he got out of his bedding. Evelyn gazed at him for a confused moment before it seemed she remembered what had transpired last night.

"I called you pretty, didn't I?" She asked him with a smile creeping onto her face.

"Yes, you did." Ryan told her as he rummaged through his clothing pack. He needed to change and make himself presentable for breakfast. "I guess I should say thank you? Is it proper to thank one's sibling when they call you pretty?" He asked her jokingly. Evelyn threw a pillow at him as she cracked a laugh.

Both of the Trevelyan siblings lapsed into silence as they prepared for the day. Ryan took one side of the room and Evelyn took the other. Both of them had their backs to each other as they changed and went through their respective grooming routines. Both of them took their turn at the wash basin to splash water on their faces and clean off dirt. Once they were both done they opened the door and stepped out into the cold Ferelden air. The chevaliers were there waiting for them in their armor.

"Mom and Dad sent you with a full escort didn't they?" Evelyn teased.

"We had to be prepared in case there was resistance to my arrival." Ryan told her with a small shrug. 

"You didn't get my letter?" Evelyn asked him as she led their small party up to the Chantry for breakfast.

"We did. Mother and Father just didn't believe it completely. They wanted to make sure that their heir wasn't locked in some prison being forced to write to them." The younger sibling explained. The rouge just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Sounds like them." She muttered as she opened the doors to the Chantry. "I suppose you'll explain what you are doing here to the inner circle at breakfast. Word of advice from me to you. Don't get tense. Some of these guys might seem all tough, or odd, or plain crazy, but they are good people."

Ryan didn't quite know what his sister was trying to warn him of, but he nodded anyways. They entered a side door at the end of the hallway and inside was a large room. The center of the room was taken up by a long table laddered with plates, glasses, and bowls with different foods. Nothing too extravagant mind you. Just bowls of biscuits, a platter of cooked eggs, some different meats, and a tray of gravy. 

Evelyn placed her hand on his shoulder and steered him to the front of the table. She took the head of it and sat him down to her right. 

"Alright everyone." Evelyn called out. The companions that had been watching them curiously now put down their food and gave Evelyn their full attention. "Just wanted to get some introductions out of the way. This here is my younger brother Ryan, third child to my parents and arguably the smartest child." Evelyn gave him a playful smirk when Ryan felt a blush spread on the back of his neck. She knew he wasn't comfortable being complimented! "My parents have sent him to check on me, so he'll be around for a few days. Treat him well."

"Evelyn doesn't talk much of home." The woman sitting across from his said as she eyed him. Her accent was heavily Nevarran. "It is good that she has someone from home here with her. I hope that you'll consider staying with us." The woman was obviously a warrior by her armor, but even her posture was a giveaway. Straight-backed, tight posture, and keen sweeping eyes. "Excuse my manners. I am Cassandra Pentaghast."

"The Right Hand the Divine." Ryan supplied with barely concealed awe. "I've heard of you. It is an honor to meet you in person."

"Former Right Hand." Cassandra corrected him gently. "With no Divine there is no title that accompanies me. I am merely a member of the Inquisition now."

 "Yeah, now we all just call her Seeker." The dwarf beside him supplied through a mouth full of egg. Cassandra gave a disgusted grunt in response to the comment, and the glare that followed made Ryan want to inch away from the dwarf in attempt to find some safety. Surely the seeker wouldn't resort to jumping over the table to strangle him. Surely.

"A dwarf with no beard? Now I can say that I've seen everything." Ryan jibed. A poor and obvious attempt at diffusing the situation. However the dwarf took it all in stride and shot him a side smile.

"It fell down on my chest one day. So there it stays." He said with a wave of his hand. "The name's Varric by the way. Nice to meet you, pretty boy. I'm sure you're gonna fit right in with this rag-tag band of misfits."

"Hey, I take offense to that!" The qunari from the night before shouted from down the table. "My company reserves the right to that title."

"It's true Varric, he copyrighted it and everything." Evelyn declared before stuffing a whole biscuit into her mouth. Ryan was torn between being awed and disgusted by that.

"The name's Bull, by the way. The Iron Bull. I'm the head of The Chargers, the merc group that your sister hired to assist the Inquisition." The qunari explained. "We're a cheery bunch so don't hesitate to pop by and say hello. Just watch out for Dalish, she likes to mark her territory around Shems."

"My name is Solas." The bald elf the other side of Varric said politely. "One of the three mages in the inner circle. It is nice to meet your acquaintance. I agree with Cassandra, it is good for Evelyn to have family beside her. These are trying times."

"Solas is the mage that watched over me while I was unconscious after coming out of the rift. He was the one who theorized that the mark on my hand could close the other rifts." Evelyn supplied. Thankfully she's swallowed the biscuit and wasn't spitting out crumbs. "The other mages aren't here right now. Dorian is a Tevinter mage who helped us gain the support of the mages after defeating a member of the Venatori order. You'll know him when you see him. Dark skin, covered in fashionable clothing, flirty remarks, and he has this way of making everything into a joke of some sort." Evelyn had a small smile on her face as she recounted the mage. He was obviously someone she cared for, and Evelyn had a good read of people, so Ryan would respect that he was a mage of Tevinter. "Then there is Vivienne, whom is the last mage of the inner circle. She was the first enchanter of Montsimmard before joining us. Don't let her get under your skin. She is a woman of very... refined tastes. Address her by her titles, try not to be dirty, and for the love of the Maker don't say anything stupid."

Everyone around the table nodded mutely. Obviously they had all at one point or another caught the sharp end of this woman's tongue.

"Josephine and Leliana wished for me to apologize on their behalf for their absence. They are working on thing in the war room that required immediate attention. Cullen and Blackwall are also out training some new recruits at the moment. They wake up before the sun, so if you'd like to meet them we'd have to go to them. And... I don't know where Sera is. No doubt still asleep, she isn't much of a morning person." Evelyn listed off everyone on her fingers.

"Are you not going to eat Lord Trevelyan?" Cassandra asked from over the table.

"Oh." Ryan startled, he had been listening to everyone that he'd forgotten to make a plate for himself. "Yes, I was just distracted." He admitted before reaching to scoop some eggs onto the plate in front of him. Evelyn tossed a biscuit onto his plate and then poured gravy over it.

He ate silently and quickly as the companions around the table talked among one another. It was clear that there were tensions between Varric and Cassandra, but they also seemed to have a deep respect for one other, which was very interesting for Ryan to see first hand. Iron Bull, or Bull as he'd wanted to be called, was a very brass but knowledgeable warrior. Even with oneeye it seemed that nothing escaped his notice. Solas was very quiet as he sipped his drink, but he didn't seem to be out of place at all, even without speaking he seemed to play a part in communication. Evelyn herself was very vocal in conversation, recalling stories, recounting adventures, and poking jokingly at other companions. The group, no matter how different they seemed to be, jived well together. Ryan was comforted by this. It was nice to know his sister had a good group surrounding her.

Once Ryan finished his breakfast he and Evelyn departed the rest of the group. They were in the main hall of the Chantry when they were stopped by two women. One he recognized as Josephine, and the other he assumed was Leliana.

"Ah, Lord Trevelyan. I was needing to speak with you. I've arranged better quarters for you and your chevaliers. The cabin beside your sisters has been prepared for you. The key." The ambassador proclaimed as she held a brass key in an extended hand. Ryan took it with a curt bow of this head.

"Thank you milady Montilyet. I hope this wasn't a bother for you to do. I'm sure I speak on behalf of myself and my knights when I thank you." Ryan declared. The antivan woman gave him a curt smile in return.

"We apologize for our absence at breakfast this morning, but war halts for no one." Leliana explained as she crossed her hands behind her back. "I am Leliana, one of the advisors of the Inquisition. I see you've met our ambassador, Josie."

"Leliana is our spymaster." Evelyn supplied. Leliana's eyes cut to Evelyn and narrowed. Seems like that wasn't suppose to be common knowledge. "Cullen is the commander to our forces. You'll like him." Evelyn said as she clapped her hand on her brother's shoulder.

"Well, it was nice to finally meet you Nightingale. It is alright if I address you as such, yes?" Ryan inquired politely. Leliana gave him a small smile and nodded her consent.

"I hope you will join us in our efforts, but for now there is work to be done, if you will excuse me." The spymaster walked briskly out of the Chantry with a poise to her step that Ryan could only dream of attaining.

"I as well have work to resume. If you have need of me I will be at my desk." Josephine excused herself with a curt smile as well.

"Great, now we can go find Cullen and Blackwall!" Evelyn exclaimed as she nearly dragged her brother out of the Chantry by his hand. His knights, whom were waiting for his departure, followed close behind them as they exited the front gates. 

The four of them made their way quickly through the snow. The sound of blades crashing against shields and the grunts of the men and women drowned out the crunching under their boots. Over the sounds of training were two male voices barking orders.

"Recruit, you have a shield, use it!"

"Footwork! Watch where you place your feet, don't let your opponent knock you off balance."

"Block, slash, parry! Don't just throw your sword!"

"Stop pulling your blows! Fight honestly! Your enemies will not go easy on you!"

A bear of a man was standing behind a smaller man, nearly a boy, as he showed the lad how to properly grip a sword. "Like this. Firm." The lad nodded his head, adjusted his grip, and then went about slashing at his fellow recruit. With a nod the man stepped back and eyed the approaching group.

"Ah, good to see you Evelyn." The man said. He turned more to greet them. His hair was dark and wild, his beard seemed untamed yet still kept in a way. He was bigger than Ryan by a substantial amount, but the crinkles around his eyes showed a kind spirit lay beneath. 

"Blackwall! My favorite Warden!" Evelyn greeted with open arms.

"Your only Warden." Blackwall grunted.

"Exactly." Evelyn chirped with a beaming smile. "Allow me to introduce you to my younger brother, Ryan."

Blackwall gave Ryan a once over look. To which Ryan shuffled his feet a bit. He wasn't used to being sized up so openly, but it made sense for the warriors here to be looking for men to take up arms.

"A pleasure to meet you Warden Blackwall." Ryan greeted kindly. Blackwall held out his hand and Ryan gave him a firm shake. The Warden gave him a soft smile.

"Always good to have another warrior around, assuming you know how to use that." Blackwall said as he pointed at the sword on the younger Trevelyan's hip. 

"I do, yet I suppose there are a few things you could teach me." Ryan mused. "Training never hurts, at any skill level."

"Very true." Blackwall assured. "You're more than welcome to join us." He motioned at the recruits training. "However, we'll have to find you someone not so green." The Warden mumbled as he stroked his beard in thought.

"Can't he train against you or Cullen? Or perhaps Cassandra!" Evelyn supplied.

"Or my chevaliers." Ryan pointed out as he looked at his knights. Both of which exchanged looks. "What? What's with that look? I could take you." Ryan defended.

"No offense meant, sir, but we wouldn't want to accidentally hurt you. Lord Trevelyan would have our hides should we hurt his son, and your mother... well... I'd rather face a bear barehanded before standing before her wrath." One of his knights proclaimed. Ryan narrowed his eyes to almost slits.

"He's got a point Ryan. Mom can scare a demon back to the void just by looking at it." Evelyn said sagely.

"Speaking of Cullen." Blackwall drawled as he looked over his shoulder. "Cullen! A moment!" The Warden waved over the other instructor.

"Take a break recruits! Get some water, catch your breath, and inspect your gear." The commander ordered before making his way through the snow to the group. 

"Ryan, this is Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition forces." Evelyn introduced as soon as Cullen was close enough.

Ryan found he was a little tongue tied for a moment. The commander was a handsome man. His blond hair was slicked back neatly, alert amber eyes, and a well built form that filled out his armor nicely. He was Ryan's type. Fuck. Evelyn shot him a knowing look, and Ryan was sorely tempted to shove her into the snow.

"Hello Commander." Ryan greeted, extending his hand for a shake. Cullen was firm and warmth radiated through his glove. "A pleasure to meet you. Ryan Trevelyan."

"Pleasure." The Commander echoed back. "I wasn't aware we'd be getting more forces from Clan Trevelyan." He looked at Ryan once over, just as Blackwall had, before shifting his gaze to the knights. "Your chevaliers?" 

"Yes. I present Arthur Wellard, our family's oldest and most experienced knight, and Jordan Galloway, our fiercest knight." Ryan introduced proudly. Both knights bowed their heads respectively. 

"Wonderful." The Commander breathed out. He seemed to visibly relax at this information presented to him. "We sorely need more experienced fighters. The amount of green recruits we have is almost overwhelming. Not that we don't need them, but we are stretched thin when it comes to training."

"Assuming Ryan is staying he can help out." Evelyn quickly cut in.

"He isn't?" Blackwall looked over to Ryan questioningly.

"It is... difficult to say. Mother and Father gave me orders to come home once I'd established Evelyn was well. They are extremely protective of us, but they understand why Evelyn must stay. I, on the other hand..." Ryan trailed off. He looked down at the snow, unable to look the warden in the eyes. He must have seemed like a coward. "I will have to write them. Perhaps they can be persuaded."

Jordan snorted his disbelief to which Ryan sent him a sharp look.

"Sir, knowing your mother, we all know the answer to that. If you wished to stay, it would be against the Lord and Lady's wishes." Arthur supplied softly.

Ryan sighed deeply. 

"You could -" Evelyn started.

"I'll think on it tonight. I'll figure something out." Ryan cut her off. He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but this was something he'd rather not have other people privy to. His sister seemed to pick up on this and nodded her head.

"I understand, not all of us can be the troublemaker." Evelyn said fondly if not a little tightly.

"Blackwall, can you assist the recruits in finding new partners? I have something to discuss with Evelyn." Cullen implored. The Warden nodded his head in assent.

"Should you need anything Ryan, training or otherwise, I am normally found beside the blacksmith. Iron Bull is also in the general area. Good fighter that qunari is." With a final wave the Warden was making his way over to the men and women milling about.

"Be back." Evelyn assured before walking a small distance with Cullen.

Ryan was left alone then with his knights beside him as he struggled internally with his thoughts.

"Copper for your thoughts, sir?" Arthur nudged him.

"I don't know what to do." Ryan signed in defeat. "Evelyn has the weight of the world on her shoulders right now. We've always been there for one another in times of need, but I've never openly defied our parents as she has. I've never disappointed them." The young Trevelyan stared up at the sky. "This is bigger than all of us, but they wouldn't understand!" Ryan growled out through his teeth. "I understand they worry, but that isn't an excuse to be selfish. How many children have died in war? Why is my life more than another's?" Ryan turned and looked at Arthur. The knight simply stood there and gave him a leveled look.

"Whatever you choose, we will stand beside you." Arthur said simply. Jordan nodded. "This is your choice though, and only you can make it."

"I know." Ryan whispered. 

It was midday and Ryan found himself at a desk in the corner of Josephine's office. The antivan woman was scrawling away at parchment while Ryan sat there staring blankly at his own paper. He was trying to think of what to say to his parents, and so far the only thing on the letter was 'Dear Mother and Father'. Quill in hand he went to write but ended up faltering and pulling his hand back. 

"Is everything alright, Lord Trevelyan?" Josephine asked from her desk.

When had she stopped writing? Maker, Ryan needed to pay more attention to his surroundings.

"Yes, just... trying to find the right words." He supplied lamely. The ambassador gave him a tight smile, clearly humoring him even when his lie was obvious. 

"If I can be of assistance, all you need is ask." She urged. Then she went back to her parchment.

Ryan nodded, even though she wasn't looking at him, before staring down at his paper again. How did one write a letter that would upset their parents? Were they formal? Or blunt? Or perhaps they were written in riddle, so that the disappointment wasn't so abrupt?

With a disgusted grunt Ryan threw the quill into the ink well, stood, and left the office. It was rude of him, but he brushed off Josephine's inquires. His footfalls were heavy through the Chantry and when he exited his knights moved to follow him.

"Don't. I need to be alone." He commanded them. Jordan frowned and Arthur sent him a concerned look, but both men obeyed and let him storm off. 

Ryan wasn't sure where he was going. He didn't want to be around anyone, didn't want people to question his foul mood, and more so he didn't want to ruin anyone else's day with his sharp words. He avoided the tavern and instead made his way out of the gates. Cullen's voice drifted from the side where he trained the recruits. Cassandra was with him now since Blackwall was absent. Not wanted to interrupt them he walked towards the frozen lake and sat at the edge in the snow. It was painfully cold, but Ryan was heated with anger and frustration.

How long Ryan sat there, staring out at the frozen water, was a mystery to him. One moment it was sunny midday and the next there was darkness falling over Haven. His anger long since replaced with dread and a sense of self loathing. 

"Lord Trevelyan?" Cassandra's voice carried over the snow. Ryan looked back and there stood the seeker, a few paces back, staring at him with concern. "You've been absent for awhile. Ambassador Josephine is worried about you. As well as others." The warrior approached him slowly before sinking to the ground to sit beside him. 

"My apologies, Seeker. I didn't mean to worry anyone, I just needed a moment to myself." Ryan assured her.

"You are conflicted." She stated simply.

"Yes." Ryan admitted.

"About?" She inquired.

"I've never disappointed anyone before Cassandra. I don't mean to sound like a pompous child, but I've always met or excelled expectation. I don't know how to disappoint them, my parents I mean, but I've never let Evie down either. She hasn't said it, but I know it would hurt her for me to walk away." Ryan took a deep breath of cold air in. "And, in honesty Seeker, I don't want to walk away. This Inquisition has purpose, a purpose I've not see before, and I admit I would want to be a part of that." Ryan looked at the Seeker with open vulnerability. "There are good people, honorable people that I would give anything to fight beside. Maker, I don't know why this is so hard for me!" He fumed.

"It is difficult. I remember the first time I let someone down. The feeling was harsh. A true taste of the world, it was." The Seeker said slowly, as if carefully choosing her words. "Everyone lets someone down eventually. Disappointment is a part of life, a part of our journey. Your parents might be let down at first, but as you've said, this Inquisition is built to right wrongs, there is honor here within the foundations. I think in time they would see that and be proud of you and Evelyn for taking up this burden."

Ryan nodded slowly. The two warriors sat there for a few moments longer, enjoying the sight of the moon rising over the frozen water.

"It is beautiful here. I never thought of Ferelden much, never thought I would leave the Free Marches, but I'm glad I have." Ryan declared as he stood. "The land is more alive here, despite having faced a blight. No one can say these people aren't resilient." 

Cassandra smiled, as if she knew something Ryan didn't, an inside joke perhaps.

"Fereldans are very resilient. Extremely bull headed too." She chuckled as she got to her feet.

"I believe I owe you an apology mad'am Josephine." Ryan declared as he entered the office. The Ambassador gave him a bright smile and shook her head before motioning him over to the desk set aside for him. 

"No need, Lord Trevelyan. I'm happy you seem in better spirits. Just, please let us know where you vanish to, your sister was worked up quite a bit when she came to fetch you." The Antiva woman chided.

"Of course." Ryan took his seat and picked up his quill. The words came easy to him now. He left his message simple, but respectful. It told his parents that Evelyn needed his support in these times of war against demons. His sword would be better put to use protecting people, rather than him sitting in banquets. Lastly, his letter apologized for any sorrows his choice would leave with them, but that he loved them dearly, and that his choice was his own.

After letting the ink dry he folded the letter and sealed it in an envelope before placing it before Josephine to be sent in the morning.

With that done he retired to his room for the night, feeling a little lighter than he had earlier in the day.