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serendipity (none of this is a coincidence)

Summary:

Jimin feels like crying.

Because the boy—Jeon Jungkook as he had learnt a week ago—is the exact opposite of Jimin.

And he’s the person Jimin’s boyfriend has been cheating on him with.

or

In which Jimin finds out that Taehyung is cheating on him with a boy named Jeon Jungkook and in the quest to understand what went wrong, he ends up falling in love with said boy.

Note: Incomplete story (final chapter is a summary)

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Jimin’s heart sinks as he stares at the boy.

With fluffy chestnut brown hair, large doe eyes, and a tall athletic frame only further accentuated by the fitted black tee and ripped skinny jeans he’s wearing—the boy couldn't have been more different than Jimin is.

His nose scrunches up and his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles, Jimin notices as he watches the boy throw his head back laughing boisterously at something his companion sitting across the campus café table had said.

His voice was also much deeper than Jimin’s—another opposite, he registers—masculine yet sweet and melodic.

Jimin feels like crying.

Because the boy—Jeon Jungkook as he had learnt a week ago—is the exact opposite of Jimin.

And he’s the person Jimin’s boyfriend has been cheating on him with.

 

─────

 

It all started a week ago. Or well, Jimin had found out about it a week ago.

He doesn't know how long it has been going on for.

Jimin thinks maybe he should have expected it, really, when he thinks back to how Taehyung, his boyfriend of three-and-a-half years, had been showing subtle signs of discontentment with their relationship even from months before.

Like every cliché romance film, it starts with the arguments.

It wasn’t anything new. After all, Taehyung and Jimin had been living together as roommates ever since they enrolled in university together as high school sweethearts—Taehyung in film production and Jimin in dance.

And with living together comes the inevitable occasional instances of high tension and leave-me-the-fuck-alone moments.

It wasn’t new—but the occurrences got more and more frequent and the arguments got so out of hand that Taehyung started to avoid him for days on end sometimes, sleeping before Jimin returns to the dorm and making sure to leave before he wakes up.

On certain days, Taehyung doesn’t even come back at all.

Jimin didn’t really think too much of it then, choosing to ignore the situation and blamed it on the stress of the upcoming mid-term examinations instead, knowing full well that they would return to their normal loving relationship once the both of them calms down. It was just a minor bump in their relationship, an unavoidable evil.

They will talk it through, apologise to each other, proceed to have hot makeup sex—and everything will be fine, like always.

And Jimin's right because they did end up fine. Except this time, they had skipped the whole talking it through part and went straight to the makeup sex.

Taehyung had seemed particularly desperate that night, whispering sweet nothings as he pounded Jimin into the ratty IKEA bed frame the both of them had painstakingly assembled together on the very first night they moved in, the bed creaking with his every thrust.

“I love you,” Taehyung had mumbled against his neck sleepily as they laid in a tangled mess of limbs and sheets, coming down from the post-orgasm high. "Are we going to be okay?"

Jimin hummed. "I love you more," was the only thing he managed to say right before he succumbs to sleep. And we're going to be just fine, was the last thought on his mind.

How wrong was he when just the very next morning, in a sleepy haze, he accidentally stumbles upon a new text message notification on Taehyung’s phone.

Jeon Jungkookie
last night was fun, miss u already xo

 

 

Jimin doesn’t ask Taehyung about it. He doesn’t even bring it up all through their meal of lucky charms in chocolate milk, Taehyung’s favourite breakfast that Jimin had once found disgusting and overly-sweet but eventually developed a taste for.

Taehyung seems to be his usual self again. He excitedly tells Jimin about his plans for the day—which Jimin only half-registers, too distracted by his own thoughts to fully catch.

His mind kept going back to the text message he saw, trying to make sense of it whilst assuring himself that there is nothing to be worried about.

“Last night was fun” could mean plenty of things.

Taehyung could have just been gaming with a friend. After all, he's a huge gamer who is obsessed with Overwatch and maybe that's what the text had meant—that he probably played with a friend before he came home and maybe—

Jimin is reading too much into it.

“Babe!” Fingers snapped in front of him, startling Jimin out of his own paranoia. He blinks at the look of concern painted over his boyfriend's face. “Are you okay? You’re spacing out.”

“Huh? Y-yeah I’m fine. I'm sorry, what were you saying?”

Taehyung gently brushes the hair out of Jimin's eyes. “I was going to apologise—" he says and Jimin feels something in him drop, his blood running cold as he inwardly begins to panic.

No, no, no.

"— I didn’t mean to leave your neck full with hickeys. I know you hate them.”

Oh thank god.

An immense wave of relief rushes through Jimin's body. He hadn’t realised how much the mere thought of losing Taehyung scares him.

Best friends since they were ten and boyfriends since they were sixteen, Taehyung had always been that one constant in his life. No matter how many people came and went, or however things had changed throughout the years—Jimin always had him by his side, the one thing that was truly his.

Losing Taehyung would mean losing everything.

Jimin is terrified by this revelation.

“It’s fine," he murmurs, rubbing his neck. He wasn't even aware of the marks until Taehyung had mentioned it. "I don’t hate it. It’s just hard to cover up.”

“I just missed you baby,” Taehyung purrs as he abandons his cereal in favour of sliding into Jimin’s lap, burying his head into the crook of his neck. He places a gentle kiss on the delicate skin there.

Jimin feels his heart swell with a swirl of emotions—love, affection, betrayal, hurt, possessiveness, insecurity—all competing for dominance.

He settles for determination.

He's not going to lose Taehyung.

Not to this stranger named Jeon Jungkook.

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 2

Summary:

Where Jimin prefers simplicity and practicality, Taehyung always had a taste for the extravagant, lavish, and beautiful.

Sometimes, Jimin feels plain—boring—in comparison to his boyfriend.

He prays Jeon Jungkook isn’t beautiful.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, Jimin is a man on a mission.

He dedicates all his free time into trying to find out more about Jeon Jungkook, searching up the name on various social media platforms and spending hours scouring through multiple profiles, desperate to find the boy and finally be able to put a face to the other.

He eventually stumbles upon Jungkook's Instagram account.

He's nervous.

What if he’s much cooler and better looking than I am?

Where Jimin prefers simplicity and practicality, Taehyung always had a taste for the extravagant, lavish, and beautiful.

Sometimes, Jimin feels plain—boring—in comparison to his boyfriend.

He prays Jeon Jungkook isn’t beautiful.

With a sigh, he clicks into a profile with the username jjk97_.

This must be him, Jimin thinks, his heart racing as he immediately recognises the university campus from the various landscape shots the user had uploaded.

He must be a student here—freshmen that is, judging by the 97 in his username. Like Taehyung, he’s probably a film arts student—maybe a major in photography if the professionally and beautifully shot images are anything to base on.

Jimin feels his stomach coil with unease, the insecurities already starting to gnaw at his insides.

He never had an eye for art, finding museums more boring than anything and old—"Classic,” Taehyung would always correct him—films just puts him to sleep.

Taehyung had attempted to convert him in the beginning—dragging him on dates to art exhibitions and patiently explaining to him the meaning behind his favourite art pieces, in hopes that Jimin would see and appreciate them like he does.

Jimin never did. No matter how hard he tried to get into it.

So by the fifth trip to the museum with a very reluctant and extremely bored Jimin, Taehyung gives up.

Jungkook will probably enjoy going on museum dates and watching classic films with Taehyung.

Jimin doesn’t want to think about that.

He continues to scroll down Jungkook’s feed, disappointed that there isn’t a single selfie or picture of the boy himself posted on the account. It was mostly shots of landscape, the occasional silhouette and—

Jimin freezes, heart dropping when he sees Taehyung.

It was dated five weeks ago, and as much as Jimin had wanted to hope it was only a one-time thing, that it didn't mean anything—Jungkook didn't mean anything—

He now knows otherwise.

 

─────

 

He’s a distracted mess up until dance practice ended that day, two hours later than usual due to his constant mistakes which ended up affecting the team’s performance as a whole and delaying the practice.

He feels terribly apologetic. It was a Friday night and surely everyone had already made plans that Jimin positively ruined.

He apologises, bowing to everyone as they make their way out of the studio. He’s about to leave as well when Hoseok calls out to him.

"Jimin-ah, can I talk to you for a minute?"

He pauses, dread heavy in the pit of his stomach as he turns to face Jung Hoseok, their dance team leader and one of Jimin’s closest hyungs.

"Yes Hobi-hyung?"

"What happened today? You were distracted and unfocused the entire time. Do you not understand how important this item is to everyone?" Hoseok lectures with a frown, voice stern. He was always good at separating work from personal relationships, something Jimin strongly struggled with as second-in-charge.

He visibly deflates, suddenly feeling like a child being scolded. He had always been sensitive to criticism; and combined with everything else that has been happening with Taehyung, Jimin feels his emotions hit him like a punch to the gut.

All of the pent up feelings he had suppressed inside are now begging for an outlet to be released.

It comes in the form of unwanted tears—already starting to pool in his eyes, threatening to fall with any attempt to speak. So he stays silent, biting the insides of his cheeks as he avoids eye contact with Hoseok, blinking furiously in a desperate attempt to keep them at bay, hoping the elder wouldn’t notice them.

He fails.

It might have been funny in any other situation, Jimin thinks as he watches Hoseok’s expression comically morphs from stern and unforgiving into a blend of shock and concern as Jimin loses the battle against his tears, unwillingly letting them escape in streams down his face as he starts to sob uncontrollably.

"Jimin-ah," Hoseok voice held surprise.

He feels arms wrap around him in an instance, a comforting embrace, and Jimin finally allows himself to cry his heart out.

 

 

Hoseok hugs Jimin until he calms down minutes? hours? later when he feels a little more like himself again.

Jimin hadn’t realised how much he felt like an empty shell over the past few days.

"I’m sorry hyung," He sniffs against the wet patch he left on Hoseok’s shoulder, suddenly embarrassed over his breakdown.

Hoseok just pats him comfortingly as he gently pulls away to look at the younger boy. With swollen bloodshot eyes, red nose and flushed, tear-streaked cheeks, Jimin looked all sorts of vulnerable and pitiful that Hoseok, though not a violent person, feels the urge to hurt whoever made him cry.

"Shh it’s ok," Hoseok says. "You can tell me what's wrong."

Jimin hesitates. He's not sure if he wants to tell anyone about it.

It's not that he doesn't trust Hoseok because he does. It's just that Jimin had never liked burdening others with his problems and maybe he’s just slightly afraid that if he acknowledges the situation out loud—

It becomes too real for him to ignore it any longer.

"I—" Jimin wants to lie and tell Hoseok he's fine, that he's just stressed over school and it's nothing to fret over. But the elder is looking at him with such genuine concern in his eyes that Jimin finds himself unable to do it.

He sighs, "I think Taehyung is cheating on me."

.

.

.

Hoseok takes a minute for Jimin's words to register before he’s absolutely livid.

He had only met Taehyung twice and his impression of the boy hadn’t been favourable. Taehyung had been polite but unfriendly, seeming to want to be anywhere else but hanging out with Jimin’s friends.

Hoseok knows that the both of them have been together for a long time, best friends for even longer—but he’s also observant, and could see that however their relationship used to be in the past—it just wasn’t the same anymore.

"How do you know?" He needs a better understanding of this situation.

"I found out a few days ago… Through a text." Jimin mumbles, looking dejected and miserable. Hoseok’s heart aches for him.

“And you confronted him?”

Jimin hesitates. "No, I didn’t tell him."

"What? Why?" Hoseok frowns.

"Hyung, I—I can’t lose him,” Jimin's voice cracks as he pleads with the elder to understand. “Taehyung is all I got."

"What do you even mean? That bastard is cheating on you. No matter what, he's not worth it."

"It’s my fault. I haven’t really been trying either and maybe he’s only with someone else because I’m getting boring or I’m not good en—"

"Shut up," Hoseok's jaw drops in disbelief. He wants to knock some sense into the younger, equally shocked and frustrated that Jimin would even think that any of this was his fault. "Jimin-ah—"

Hoseok realises he doesn’t know what to say.

"Hyung, please don’t tell Taehyung about this. I’m going to handle it on my own, I promise." Jimin begs, eyes filled with a sort of desperate urgency that Hoseok doesn’t know how to react to.

"… And what do you plan to do?"

"I’m going to find Jeon Jungkook."

And I'm going to be more like him.

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 3

Summary:

In case you couldn't tell, Jungkook is having the shittiest of days. Pun intended.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“You must be fucking kidding me,” Jungkook curses for the nth time that day when he somehow manages to land his foot into a pile of shit on the sidewalk right outside the café he works at.

He takes all of three seconds to ponder over whether it’s something worth getting worked up over before resigning himself with a simple sigh.

In case you couldn’t tell, Jungkook is having the shittiest of days. Pun intended.

To roughly summarise it,    

1. He had mistakenly set his alarm for 7pm instead of 7am last night and overslept, which ultimately caused him to
2. Miss his fucking project deadline entirely,
3. Making all the photos he had taken and spent sleepless nights editing now "invalid work"

On the positive (but not really) side, Jungkook had managed to convince his professor not to fail him entirely and got himself a new deadline insteadfive weeks from nowunder the conditions that he'd have to step out of his comfort zone to create a film on the concept of fluidity.

Jungkook is completely fucked.

Videography had always been his weakness. Stills, he could handle—excelled in it evenbut Jungkook avoids motion pictures like a plague.

It’s easier to capture and manipulate in photography, Jungkook thinks. A shot can be easily framed and edited into portraying a certain kind of emotion to tell a story. Filming, on the other hand, required a whole lot more than he thinks he’s capable of.

And with only five weeks in comparison to the original ten weeks he previously had to redo his project—

Jungkook is certainly fucked—and not in the way he wants to be. Which brings him to:  

4. Taehyung is avoiding him, again.

Jungkook honestly doesn’t know what to make of their relationship, if it was even a relationship.

He had met Taehyung a month ago at a party he went with all intentions of getting laid.

Bored and horny, Taehyung had caught his eye with his outrageous combination of an outfit—a floral dress shirt with pajama pants—that he somehow made work, probably thanks to his insanely good looks. He resembled a Gucci model over a university student.

Jungkook had approached him first, intrigued, and after a drunken bonding session over their shared passion for photography and Overwatch, they were kissing and making their way back to Jungkook’s dorm, hands all over each other.

The next morning, Taehyung was gone.

Jungkook hadn’t cared then, familiar with the routine and unspoken rules of one-night stands.

But when Taehyung came back knocking on his door a few days later and kissed him onto the bed without saying anything, an unspoken arrangement soon formed between them.

Sometimes they’d talk. Sometimes they’d play Overwatch together. Most of the times, they fuck.

Nothing too personal, really—but it’s nice, Jungkook thinks. His last relationship was a long time ago and such moments with Taehyung made him yearn for the kind of easy companionship that a relationship brings.

Still, he’s unsure if they were dating or not. He assumes they are, it’s only logical, but Taehyung can be confusing in such that he's sweet and romantic at times, yet cold and unreachable other times.

Today, it's the latter.

And Jungkook's too tired to deal with his mood swings.

Not with shit all over his shoes.

He grimaces, but calmly reaches down to take off his black timbs (which are brand new by the way) and rubs it into the grass, trying to remove as much of the misfortune clinging on to his shoe as possible.

“Why the fuck was there even a dog on campus?” Jungkook grumbles, proceeding to literally slam the shit out of his shoe against a pole when he realised that rubbing it on the grass only made stuff smear everywhere, worsening the damage. Fantastic.

When he’s finally satisfied with the state of his shoe (salvageable, thank god), he puts it back on and enters the café.

He sees Seokjin first, sitting alone at a table, typing furiously on his laptop with focused, bloodshot eyes. Seokjin had graduated a while ago and was back as a teacher assistant. He must be rushing to finish preparing lecture notes for his students and Jungkook would have some sympathy for him if he weren’t currently experiencing the worst day of his life.

“Jin-hyung,” he starts as he slips into the seat opposite of Seokjin. His shift doesn’t start for another six minutes and he’s definitely not doing extra labor for free. “I know you abuse me all the time but do you really have to do that to your poor keyboard?”

Seokjin looks up, finally ceasing his aggressive typing to glare at Jungkook. “Says the brat hitting me all the time.”

“It doesn’t even hurt! You’re just old and weak.” Jungkook laughs. Bickering with Seokjin is one of his favourite things to do, ever. He already feels much better.

“If I’m old, then you’re a fetus. An ugly, crying fetus.” Seokjin deadpans before proceeding to over dramatically reenact a (totally inaccurate version) of Jungkook crying.

"It was one time!" Jungkook was only fourteen when his friends had pulled a prank on him that made him cry and oh god—will they ever stop bringing it up?

Their playful conversation continued on until Seokjin noticed a boy staring at Jungkook from the corner of the café.

His stare was of one filled with such intensity and raw emotions that Seokjin's breath hitched even though it wasn't directed towards him.

“Do you know that guy?” He whispers to Jungkook, discreetly gesturing in the direction where the boy sits alone. 

“Who?” Jungkook does a full-bodied turn to look at the stranger and Seokjin wants to face palm at his lack of wits.

The boy, caught staring, immediately tears his gaze away to focus on the mess of papers laid haphazardly in front of him instead. 

Jungkook studies him. He couldn’t quite get a clear view now that the other had turned away but he notices the boy's pretty side profile. With soft blonde curls and a sharp jawline that contradicts his soft full cheeks and plump luscious lips, he looked like someone Jungkook would have approached in a club in the past. 

He was over those days. 

“Nah, don’t recognise him.” Jungkook concludes. He would have remembered someone like him if he had ever seen him.

“That was weird. He was staring really intensely at you earlier on.” Seokjin frowns, uneasy and protective over Jungkook.

Jungkook shrugs with a smirk. “Well, I’m beautiful.”

Seokjin smacks him on the head with all the force he could exert with a pen.

 

─────

 

Over the next few days, the boy keeps coming back to the café.

“Cap boy’s back again.” Yugyeom, Jungkook’s co-worker comments as he spots the boy once again walking into the café with his cap hung low, covering his face.

Ever since Jungkook had caught him staring that day, the stranger had been coming in wearing caps to hide his face.

Jungkook doesn’t know why, but he’s curious if he’ll be honest.

“Seems like Jungkook has a new admirer.” Mingyu, his other co-worker teased as he playfully wolf whistles, making Jungkook roll his eyes.

Like most things, he absolutely regrets telling them about the staring incident the other day.

“He’s probably just a regular-customer-in-making.” Jungkook shrugs as he proceeds to wipe down the coffee machine.

“Customers actually orders drinks, Jungkookie.” Yugyeom deadpans. “Your boy just sits there, spending half the time doing his own stuff and the other half staring at you.”

Jungkook frowns. 

It’s true, he realises. The boy never did order anything, only comes in almost daily with a bunch of papers Jungkook assumes is his lecture notes, and stays for a few hours before leaving. Occasionally, Jungkook would turn to him to find the other's gaze already on him.

It’s unnerving yet intriguing at the same time.

Jungkook lets his curiosity get the best of him.

“I’m going to offer him a cup of coffee,” he decides on impulse then, quickly moving to make the stranger a cup of iced Americanoeveryone likes iced Americano right?

He’s oddly nervous as he approaches the boy's table.

He could be a serial killer, a cannibal that’s been coming here daily just to monitor the quality of his meat—

Jungkook, lost in thought, trips over the boy's backpack and spills the cup of coffee all over him and his table.

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 4

Summary:

Jimin hadn't realised how much he hated Jeon Jungkook until he saw him.

Notes:

before i start, i just wanted to sincerely thank everyone who has supported this fic so far.

it really brightens up my day reading all ur comments and seeing the kudos u guys have left <3

writing jm's character here really makes me think about how i used to be in the past ;; you've prob heard this many times from bts and everyone else but i just want to reiterate again bc it's important-

love yourself ♡

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Jimin thinks his obsession with unravelling Jeon Jungkook might have gone a little too far as he stands outside Mean Bean Coffee, a tiny yet cozy-looking café secluded in a quiet corner of the East wing of campus, where the School of Fine Arts lies.

He feels like a stalker.

Jimin had found out through lurking on Jungkook's social media accounts that the boy was working night shifts on certain days at the café currently standing in front of him now, seemingly imposing despite its size and inviting appearances.

He feels guilty, he realises with a start.

Despite devoting all his time into gathering information of the boy online, using it in real life was another thing entirely.

It's not like he has bad intentions, really. He's not even planning on confronting the other, let alone hurt him in any way; Jimin had always been the passive type. However, it still feels inherently wrong to be outside the place where the-boy-his-boyfriend-is-cheating-on-him-with works.

It feels malicious somehow—regardless of whether Jimin harbours any ill-intents or not.

But Jimin recalls to just last night where he'd cried himself to sleep after Taehyung, once again, doesn't return home with only a filmsy excuse of gna be editing all night. don't wait up!! and he's determined. He wants to know what Jeon Jungkook has that he doesn't. He needs to know.

Mind set, Jimin pushes open the café door to walk in, ignoring the way his heart skips a beat when the bell attached to it jingles in announcement of his entrance.

He realises belatedly that he forgot to consider the fact that Jungkook probably knows about him and might even recognise him.

I'm an idiot, Jimin thinks, nervously surveying the interior of the café to find a couple of customers scattered around the room, some engaged in light conversation while others quietly studied alone. A generic pop song he doesn't remember the name of plays softly in the background.

His eyes flit towards the counter, heart pounding wildly in his chest. There's a guy standing behind it, sporting a mop of fiery red hair. He's tall, attractive with lazy eyes and a large, sharp nose.

But he's not Jeon Jungkook. Jimin knows that from stalking even Jungkook's friends on Instagram, hoping to catch a glimpse of him on their profiles. He doesn't manage to, but he recognises the boy behind the counter as Kim Yugyeom, Jungkook's friend and co-worker.

Jimin exhales in pure relief, glad that Jungkook didn't seem to be working that day. He hadn't planned for a scenario where Jungkook recognises him and he's clueless as to what could've played out then.

He decides to stay for awhile anyway. After all, Jimin had trekked all the way across campus from the School of Performing Arts (where he almost never leaves) oddly located at the opposite end at the West wing of campus.

He slumps into a seat by the window at a corner, wondering what his life has become.

Pathetic is what he is, Jimin thinks as he sighs deeply. Not only is he unable to keep his boyfriend of over three years loyal to him, he isn't even able to confront him or the person he's cheating on with.

Jimin wishes he was confident, assertive—strong.

He wants to scream at Taehyung, "How could you do this to me?"

He wants to yell at Jungkook, "Stay away from my fucking boyfriend!"

But Jimin's not that type of person, no matter how hard he tries to be.

He's getting upset again. Not wanting to cry in public, he takes out a few blank sheets of paper and a pencil from his bag to distract himself with more important tasks—like choreographing the routine he's in charge of for the dance item instead.

Jimin has a habit of planning out his choreographies in the form of simple silhouettes and dance lines roughly drawn on paper. Sort of like a storyboard for his dance routines, it helps him to visualise his choreographies better and clear his mind. It's the best way to distract himself from everything else.

Within minutes, he's entirely absorbed in the process, completely erasing Taehyung and Jungkook from his thoughts.

It's not until almost two hours later when a loud burst of laughter, sounding oddly like wiping windshields, pulls him out of his zone.

He glances toward the commotion, tracing it back to a man he recognised as a customer from earlier on who had been working on his laptop alone. He's not alone anymore, it seems, now accompanied by a seemingly younger boy sitting opposite of him, an indignant expression on his face as he seemed to be bickering with the older.

They paint a pretty picture. He can't help but to stare, wondering how he hadn't noticed how ridiculously good-looking the customer from earlier on was. His companion, that Jimin hadn't even seen enter the café, was equally, if not more, beautiful.

With fluffy chestnut brown hair, large doe eyes, and a tall, athletic frame only further accentuated by the ripped skinny denim jeans and fitted black tee he’s wearing - the boy is gorgeous to say the least. Although he exuded sex appeal with a typical bad boy charm, it's contradicted by a pair of large innocent eyes and a huge bunny smile. It's oddly attractive, Jimin thinks, unable to keep his eyes off the other. 

"It was one time!" He hears the boy sputter, voice laced with embarrassment and mock annoyance.

Jimin shakes his head, suddenly aware of how creepy he probably seemed. He decides its probably time to leave when he spots the already darkening sky out the window. How long has he been here for? He's about to stand and gather his stuff to leave when he hears it—

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook, how dare you? I raised you on my back!"

He halts, feeling all the blood drain from his face.

"Your back can't handle my weight, old man." He hears Jeon Jungkook say with a scoff.

There's a storm of emotions roiling inside Jimin as he slowly turns to set his gaze upon Jungkook once again. Except now, the earlier look of admiration is replaced with a blank stare masking the turbulent feelings inside.

He's uncomfortable and terrified as he feels an ugly, unfamiliar feeling beginning to simmer in his chest.

Hatred.

Jimin hadn't realised how much he hated Jeon Jungkook until he saw him.

He studies Jungkook with an intensity of a predator stalking its prey, feeling his heart constrict when he realises the boy was almost a complete opposite of Jimin.

Where Jimin had small puffy eyes, Jungkook had large round ones.

Where Jimin was short, Jungkook was tall.

Where Jimin was lean, Jungkook was made up of muscles.

It panics him to think about how different they seem, his mind already straying to dangerous places, a whirlwind of thoughts circulating in his head.

Taehyung's probably sick of you. He's no longer attracted to you. He needs someone new.

Shut up, it's not true! Jimin screams internally, on the verge of a meltdown. His palms are sweaty and his stomach contents revolts, threatening to escape up his throat.

Lost in his own misery, he's surprised when Jungkook suddenly turns to look at him, having obviously caught him staring. Their eyes meet for a second before Jimin quickly tears his gaze away, hoping he wasn't recognised by the other.

He runs out the door the moment he feels those eyes leave him.

 

─────

 

Jimin knows its impossible to his change his height or the size of his pupils, so he does what he can and starts going to the gym.

"Are you trying to lose weight?" Taehyung had jokingly asked the first time he noticed Jimin loading up his ratty gym bag that he probably hasn't touched since he was a sixteen year old boy obsessed with having a six-pack.

Instead of the smack and a roll of eyes Taehyung expected to receive, Jimin had tensed up instead, voice sharp and insecure when he asked in return, "Do you think I need to lose weight?"

It's a loaded question and Taehyung, surprised by his sensitivity, treaded on eggshells when he replied with utmost sincerity, "Of course not babe, you're skinny enough."

Jimin took it the wrong way. He thinks I'm too skinny and unfit, unlike Jungkook.

"I'm trying to gain muscles." He told his boyfriend, half-hoping he'd discourage him and convince him he's perfect just the way he is.

Taehyung only laughed. "Does this mean my little six-pack Chimchim is making a return?" He teased as he wiggled his brows, hoping to evoke a laugh out of Jimin.

Jimin's heart sank.

So he goes to the gym that day, and the day after, and after.

If there's one thing Jimin can be confident about, its how hardworking he can be when he has his mind set on something.

With effort comes results and when Taehyung kisses him into the wall one day with a "Fuck baby, these muscles feel good on you.", Jimin thinks maybe he still has a fighting chance after all.

 

─────

 

Jimin goes back to the café almost daily.

He wears a cap hung low to hide his identity and never engages with Jungkook, choosing to silently observe him from afar.

From just watching the boy, Jimin learnt a lot about him.

Jungkook, like Taehyung, is obsessed with Overwatch. He learnt that the morning Jungkook had came in late, eye bags prominent and hair disheveled. Jimin ignored how annoyingly attractive he had managed to look with bed hair and crusty eyes, and instead focused on Yugyeom slapping him in greeting with a "Rough night last night?"

Jungkook shoved him away. "Overwatch." He said simply with a yawn.

Jimin spends that night with a shocked but excited Taehyung trying to teach him the basic control keys to the game Jimin had always hated. Still hates.

It goes on like that for awhile—Jimin would visit the café, observe Jungkook, identify something of him he thinks Taehyung might be attracted to, and imitate it.

He starts wearing leather jackets and ripped jeans, gaining puzzled looks from his friends who only ever sees him in sweatpants, t-shirts and oversized sweaters. He also learns to skate, after seeing Jungkook walk in with a skateboard in hand one day.

Jimin's completely exhausted from pretending to be someone he's not. He wonders how actors and actresses manage to fully immerse themselves into playing the roles of characters who are nothing like them.

To make things worse, Taehyung doesn't seem to react to those changes. Besides the occasional lift of an eyebrow and passing comment, Taehyung seemed to be unaffected by Jimin's behaviour.

Their relationship remained at a standstill, if not worse.

Jimin's frustrated. And tired. So fucking tired.

So by the sixth time he walks into Mean Bean Coffee, he tells himself its going to be the last.

He doesn't look at Jungkook when he makes his way to his usual spot at the corner, goal set on leaving once he's finished with his work. Though he'd never admit it, Jimin is going to miss this place. Strangely enough, he's often inspired and productive working on his choreographies in the café.

Everything he likes, Jeon Jungkook gets to keep.

He never wants to see Jungkook again after today, he thinks as he starts to sketch.

Not even five minutes in, he feels a splash of icy cold liquid shock his skin, drenching his white shirt and spilling all over his sketches. He takes a second to register that the liquid is brown, iced coffee probably, and he's horrified. He looks up to find an equally horrified Jungkook holding onto a now-empty cup.

He feels his blood boil.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." Jungkook hastily apologises, terrified upon noticing Jimin's murderous expression. He awkwardly flaps his hands around in the air, trying to help but not knowing what to do.

"Are you fucking doing this on purpose?" Jimin spat, shooting him a glare filled with such pure hatred that Jungkook had to take a step back, eyes wide.

"W-what? Why would I..." He trailed off, terribly confused and scared, suddenly reconsidering his earlier theory of the other being a serial killer.

Jimin doesn't say anything, just removes his cap and stares expectantly at Jungkook.

Jungkook ignores the way his heart skips a beat watching the boy run a hand through his hair in an attempt to tidy it upon removing his cap. He's undeniably attractive, even more so up close and in full view.

Jungkook stares back dumbly, unsure of what kind of revelation the boy expected him to have.

"Are you a celebrity...?" He tries. "A famous model, maybe? I'm sorry if I should recognise you but I don't really follow celebrities."

Now its Jimin's turn to wear his earlier expression of confusion.

He doesn't know. Jimin doesn't know how to deal with that information. All along he has been under the impression that Jungkook knew about him, knew that Taehyung was cheating on Jimin with him, and now that it doesn't seem to be that case—Jimin doesn't know what to think.

Then he's just a victim, like me. Jimin realises as he feels the first tendrils of guilt start to creep in. He'd spent the past few weeks hating on a boy who was only a victim like him.

He snaps out of his thoughts when Jungkook suddenly let out a gasp.

"Are you a dancer?" He asked and Jimin refocused on him again to find his attention now drawn toward the stained sketches splayed out on the table. Jungkook's studying them with intent and Jimin resists the urge to snatch them away from his scrutiny.

"Yes. Why?" Jimin asks, wary. Maybe he does know. He's surprised to find out that he'd rather that be the case.

Jungkook's eyes lit up and he smiles widely as he proceeds to explain to Jimin that he's hoping he could help him out with his project. His voice contained so much hope, passion and desperation in it that Jimin feels queasy.

"... and I'll pay you, of course! We can discuss the amount." Jungkook finishes up, excitement visible in his eyes. "What do you say?"

Jimin blinks.

He thinks about how fucked up this whole situation is.

He thinks about Jungkook with Taehyung.

He thinks about how Jungkook's just a victim, like him.

.

.

.

"No."

Everything he likes, Jeon Jungkook gets to keep.

Jimin will not allow him near dance.

After all, anger and hatred is easier to deal with than guilt.

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 5

Summary:

It struck him then, perhaps like how watching a falling apple had struck Isaac Newton back then, that he now knows exactly what he wants to do for his project.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"No."

Jungkook felt as though the boy had just dumped a whole bucket of cold water on him. It froze the large smile plastered on his face and dampened the budding hope in his chest.

He snaps back to reality. What was he thinking?

The stranger, standing before his ruined sketches (that Jungkook could only pray wasn't too important) with his t-shirt almost fully soaked by the coffee Jungkook had practically thrown on him, definitely wouldn't be doing him any favours anytime soon.

Still, Jungkook doesn't really think what he did was bad enough to earn him the other's glare of pure... hatred? disgust?  He couldn't decipher it, but it had chased the chills down his spine.

Jungkook has never been a people's person, but he can't recall to a time where anyone had ever looked at him with such hatred in their eyes before. It's disconcerting and honestly terrifying.

Jungkook being Jungkook, however, had managed to completely forget about the whole he probably hates you and wants to punch you situation the second his eyes landed on the sketches splayed out all over the table. They were only rough scribbles, an unrefined silhouette sketched out to leap, twirl and land, but Jungkook studies them as though they hold all the answers to the universe.

The fluidity of a silhouette. 

It struck him then, perhaps like how watching a falling apple had struck Isaac Newton back then, that he now knows exactly what he wants to do for his project.

So he explains his idea to the boy with a desperate fervour and newfound excitement, hoping the other would agree to help out a fellow university student in need.

And to receive a simple "no" in response, with no other reasoning or even a polite lie most people would have conjured to escape from unwanted commitments, crestfallen would be an understatement to describe how Jungkook feels now.

"If it's about me spilling coffee all over you, then I'm really sorry. It was honestly an accident and I was only trying to offer you some coffee since I always see you around but you never buy anything and-" Jungkook stops himself, aware of how he was rambling now.

The boy only stares at him blankly, the silence stretching on far too long for it to feel comfortable.

"I don't like coffee." He finally says, face devoid of expression. Jungkook feels like he could breathe again. He could only be glad that he wasn't being glared at anymore, though the other's expressionless face still looked pretty intimidating.

He has a serious case of the resting bitch face syndrome, Jungkook thinks. He also realises that he has never seen the boy smile, like ever.

"Okay...? We have tea, and juices even." He frowns, confusion evident on his face.

"I can't help you." The boy says, suddenly sounding frustrated, a hint of desperation in his tone.

"But why?" Jungkook urges, desperation creeping into his own voice. "It's okay if you're too busy, I can accommodate to your schedule. Or you must have rehearsals or practices right? You could just let me in to film and do your own thing, I won't even bother you I promise."

He knows he's literally begging now - but he's determined.

There's a moment of silence before the boy finally cracks, hesitation and uncertainty painting his face. He seems to be battling an internal conflict, looking deeply troubled as if Jungkook had been asking him to murder babies instead.

"I-"

Jungkook's phone rings.

"Shit, sorry." He curses, pulling it out with an apologetic look toward the other. He frowns when he sees an incoming call from Taehyung.

"What do you want, Tae?" He turns away to answer, obviously irritated.

Jungkook doesn't see the boy's face drop behind him.

"Kookie," Taehyung greets, his deep voice over the phone sending shivers down Jungkook's spine. "I'm really sorry."

Jungkook scoffs, "Yeah right."

"I know I've been acting really shitty these days and I'm so sorry." His boyfriend? lover? fuck buddy? pleaded. "I know you're upset with me but... I miss you, Kook."

He wills himself not to, but Jungkook can't help but to soften a little on the inside. It's becoming a problem, he thinks, how easily he gives in to Taehyung sometimes.

Jungkook doesn't think he's in love with Taehyung, no - not when they've only known each other for less than a month. But he's attached to Taehyung in a way, and he thinks at this rate, it's only sooner or later that he falls.

He needs to have a talk with Taehyung soon.

"I'm busy." He doesn't give in - not this time. Not when he has a goal and an enigma of a boy to convince. "Talk to you later."

When he ends the call and turns around however, the boy is long gone.

 

─────

 

Jimin rids himself of all his spare time over the next couple of days.

He diligently goes to lectures, attends practices, stays back to practice even more, and cleaned his entire dorm when he got kicked out of the practice room by a very concerned Hoseok telling him not to overdo it.

He keeps himself as busy as possible, not giving his mind a chance to think about his disastrous love life.

Jimin decides that he's just going to pretend Jungkook doesn't exist and turn a blind eye to the whole situation until Taehyung gets bored and returns whole-heartedly to him. What else can he possibly do?

"Take 30 minutes!" He hears Hoseok yell to the entire room, earning groans of relief from everyone including Jimin himself.

Practice had been really intense lately, tensions running high along with the steadily approaching performance date. Jimin's glad for the distraction, but he feels sorry for the rest of the dancers who seemed upset by the never-ending practices and rehearsals.

He does the best he can to encourage them when it comes to his own practices, buying them food during breaks and using a softer approach compared to Hoseok's usual tough love kind. As great of a dancer and team leader Hoseok was, he does tend to lose his temper easily when it comes to teaching others.

"You need to hydrate." Jimin looks up from where he had collapsed on the floor right after Hoseok's cue to find Taemin holding out a bottle of water for him.

"Thanks hyung." He immediately gulps down half the bottle.

"Hoseok's being extra tough today huh?" Taemin pants, sliding his back down the wall to sit beside Jimin.

Jimin frowns. "Yeah, I think he's stressed out over the formations." He scans the room in search of their dance leader to find him gone.

"I should go look for him." He says, using all of his willpower to push himself off the floor, ignoring how his muscles screamed out in protest. He's worried about Hoseok, knowing very well how the other tends to burn out when he gets too stressed out.

He sprints out of the room, finding it more of a torture to walk slowly, and collides right into a warm, hard chest. There's a loud thud as something crashes to the floor and Jimin hastily backs away, an apology already at his throat.

"Oh my god, I'm so sor-" The words died on his tongue when he looks up to find none other than Jeon Jungkook.

"Fuck, my camera!" Jungkook curses without even looking at Jimin, full attention focused on his DSLR that now lies on the ground in pieces. It had been knocked off his arm when Jimin barrelled into him.

Jimin's eyes widened comically as he watches Jungkook bend down to pick up an expensive-looking camera, its lens now separated from the body. Jungkook is cursing under his breath, a concentrated frown forming between his brows as he fiddles with them, trying to piece it back together.

The silence is tense, and Jimin realises that he's been holding his breath.

"I-Is it broken?" He exhales softly to breathe again, his voice a mixture of worry and concern.

Jungkook glances up to him then, a surprised look on his face when he recognises Jimin from the café.

"I don't know," He says as he examines the camera, thanking the heavens when it manages to turn on. He swiftly aims it at Jimin and snapped a picture. "I guess it's working fine."

Jimin sighs in relief.

"I'm so sorry." His voice was so sincere and apologetic that Jungkook finally turns to take a good look at him. He resists the urge to take another picture of the boy right then - with messy hair, rosy cheeks and a loose white shirt that clung onto parts of his skin that have been dampened by sweat. The boy created such a beautiful portrait that the photographer in Jungkook screams at him to capture it.

He doesn't, though, not wanting to freak the boy out.

"It's okay." Jungkook shrugs, brushing imaginary dust off his camera. To be entirely honest, he's a little weirded out by how nice the boy seemed to be treating him this time, an entirely different person from before. 

"Are you sure? If you need to send it for repair, I'll pay for the costs." Jimin urges, still feeling bad about dropping his camera. He had never liked causing inconvenience to anyone, apparently even to Jeon Jungkook.

"Nah, it's fine."

Silence.

Jimin shuffles on his feet, uneasy. Jungkook awkwardly fiddles with his camera.

"Why don't I help you out with your project then?" Jimin offers after awhile, cutting the tension in the air. "As an apology."

"Don't force yourself to do me favours just because you feel bad." Jungkook says with a frown, remembering how unwilling the boy was when he'd suggested the idea to him.

Jimin is perplexed. Judging by how desperate Jungkook had seemed the previous time, he had assumed the boy came here with intentions of convincing him to help him with his project. Why else would he be here?

"Then what-"

"Jimin!" Hoseok calls out, interrupting them.

So his name is Jimin, Jungkook thinks, glad to finally be able to attach a name to the boy's face. He turns to the newcomer, smiling when he recognises him.

"Hey, J-Hope right? I'm JJK97 on Instagram, we've talked about my project?" He starts.

Jimin feels his heart stop.

A few days ago, Jungkook had reached out to J-Hope through Instagram after Yugyeom had recommended the dancer to him when he mentioned that he needed one to film for his project. He had thought of hunting Jimin down to convince him to take his offer instead, but decided against it despite his gut instinct telling him he has to be the one. Trusting your gut instincts is overrated anyway.

The dancer had been amiable, agreeing to his request and allowed him to come over today to further discuss the details.

"Oh right! The photography major." Hoseok smiled widely as he appraises Jungkook. Kid should be the one in front of the camera instead, he muses as he extends a hand, "I'm Jung Hoseok."

Jungkook takes it. "Jeon Jungkook."

Hoseok's smile froze.

Jeon Jungkook?

He turns to look at Jimin who's already staring back at him with a pleading look, desperately urging Hoseok not to reveal anything to Jungkook.

What the hell?

He shoots Jimin a glare as he gathers his bearings, smiling once again when he lets go of Jungkook's hand. "Nice to finally meet you."

 

─────

 

"What the fuck is this?" Hoseok demanded as he closed the door, having dragged Jimin into an empty practice room after making up an excuse to leave Jungkook for a few moments.

Jimin shrinks back from the elder's intense gaze. He opens his mouth to explain, but realises he doesn't know where to start.

Hoseok takes pity on him. "First things first, is he the same Jeon Jungkook you told me your boyfriend was cheating on you with?"

"... Yes."

"So why the fuck were you with him just now?"

Jimin hesitates, but proceeds to recount all that has happened with Jungkook so far. When he finishes, Hoseok looks as though he doesn't know if he wants to hug or slap some sense into Jimin.

"You know, when you told me you were going to find him, I thought you meant that you were going to confront him." He says instead, clearly exasperated.

Jimin looks down, saying nothing.

"Jimin," Hoseok pleads. "You know this is wrong, right? The way you are dealing with this entire situation... It's not right."

"Of course I know, hyung." Jimin snaps. "But I've told you before - I can't lose Taehyung."

Hoseok has to take a deep breath to calm himself down. "And that's what I don't understand, Jimin. What's so good about that bastard? He's literally cheating on you and Jungkook, and who knows who else he might be cheating on the both of you with."

"He's my best friend. We've known each other our entire lives. He's not going to abandon me, and I'm not going to abandon him." Jimin is adamant, stubborn, and Hoseok knows there's no point in trying to convince him to see otherwise.

"Fine. Then what about Jeon Jungkook?" He asks instead.

Jimin stills. "... What about him?"

"If you're right and he has no clue about what's happening at all, then don't you think he deserves to know?"

The guilt creeps in again, already planted like a seed in his chest. He refuses to water it. "He can't know. He's going to tell Taehyung and-" Taehyung might choose him over me.

Just thinking about it scares him.

"Hyung," Jimin begs, his voicing cracking. Tears were already threatening to fall. "Please don't tell Jungkook."

Hoseok's chest constricts. If there's one thing he has never been good at, it's rejecting Jimin.

He nods, looking away. "Then do you want me to reject his offer?"

"No, help him."

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 6

Summary:

It's through observing the boy that Jungkook gets a glimpse of the real Park Jimin. What he doesn't understand is why Jimin had built an invisible wall around him, practically with a Warning - Keep Jeon Jungkook out! sign attached to it.

Notes:

so i've been getting a lot of comments saying they're frustrated with jm's character and with how he's acting so i just wanted to write this to let you guys further understand his situation.

TL;DR

you have see where jm's coming from, and tae's importance to him at this point of time. think about vmin this way - there's a reason why i keep bringing up the concept that they've known each other since they were kids and were best friends until they started dating. there's a history established there and a kind of bond that a romantic relationship can't touch.

if you ever had something really important to you threatened to be taken away from you at one point of time - you'll understand how jm feels. he's not just losing a boyfriend, he's losing his best friend, soulmate and family. he's not out of character - he's just desperate.

anyway yeah that's it. it's meant to be frustrating hahaha but i promise he's only going to grow stronger!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was as if Hoseok had forcefully broken down the walls that had separated Jungkook from Jimin's life when he accepted the boy's offer.

Jungkook is everywhere over the next week. Jimin sees him at their dance practices, stage rehearsals, and even lunch breaks after Taemin had invited him to join them that one time.

The photographer seems to be comfortably settling in his life, and Jimin doesn't like that - at all.

He ignores the boy as best as he can, making no move to approach him or even acknowledge his presence.

It hurts Jimin to see Jungkook, unable to stop his mind from conjuring up images of him with his boyfriend, an imagery surely more beautiful than the one he and Taehyung paints.

Jungkook, catching on quick, gave up trying to talk to Jimin after awhile.

The others had appeared to like Jungkook from the get-go though, throwing curious questions and friendly greetings his way the very first day he was introduced to the team by Hoseok, who explained that the boy was there to film for a project.

"Just ignore me, I'll try not to get in anyone's way." Jungkook had timidly waved. And maybe it was his shy smile that seemed misplaced on a tall frame of leather jacket and ripped jeans, an alluring sort of reversal charm, that had made everyone warm up to him almost immediately.

Even now, as Jungkook blends in almost seamlessly among them in a large booth at a fast food chain on campus, all Jimin can think about is how much he regrets not asking Hoseok to reject the boy when he had the chance earlier.

He can't help but to hate Jungkook as he watches him laugh with his friends, chatting animatedly about something Jimin doesn't tune in to.

"Jimin, you haven't been eating much lately." Jongin says, stealing his attention. He looks down to find himself subconsciously playing with his barely-touched food and stops.

"I'm not hungry." He shrugs, taking a sip of his drink. He hasn't really had the appetite to eat these days.

"With how vigorous practice has been, you need to eat, Jimin." Hoseok reprimands, abandoning his conversation with Jungkook and a few others to nag at him.

Everyone's attention is now drawn to Jimin and he wants to shrink under their gazes. He avoids looking into Jungkook's direction.

"I already ate in the morning." He lies with a dismissive wave, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Hoseok sees right through him, about to call him out on it when Jungkook interrupts. "You can have my granola bars if you get hungry later." He says, pulling out not one, but six, granola bars from his camera bag.

"Are you preparing for an apocalypse?" Taemin guffaws, and the conversation steers away in favour of teasing Jungkook about his granola bars.

Jimin doesn't meet Jungkook's eyes the entire time.

 

─────

 

Jungkook is making progress.

It's slow, but it's still progress, and he's glad to have finally kickstart his project with the help of Hoseok.

"So you just need me to dance? That's all?" Hoseok asks as he leads Jungkook to an empty practice room across the hall, panting with each step he takes. It was already nighttime, and he had only just dismissed everyone else, ending a terribly exhausting-looking practice session.

The atmosphere back there had been so tense that Jungkook felt as though he was sitting in on a court ruling instead, only being able to watch in pity as Hoseok verbally expresses his frustration toward a couple of the dancers, one of them being Jimin, the boy from the café.

Jimin, who seems to want to have nothing to do with Jungkook.

Jungkook doesn't understand why, but he learns to avoid the other as well, only taking to silently studying him from afar.

He had been spending the past few days sitting in on their dance practices in order to get inspiration for the kind of choreography he wanted to feature, and to observe the way Hoseok dances in his natural element.

Hoseok is an amazing dancer (Jungkook had his mouth open the entire time watching him dance for the first time), but strangely enough, his eyes somehow always ends up fixed upon Park Jimin.

He's enraptured the first time he sees Jimin dance. It was during a group routine, Jimin being only one out of the twelve dancers, but Jungkook could only see the blonde haired boy the entire time, eyes tracing his every move. The boy is graceful, body moving like water.

He wishes Jimin had been willing to feature on his video, but Jungkook knows forcing it would only ruin the mood he was aiming for.

He could only be thankful Hoseok had agreed to help.

"Yeah, you just have to dance to the routine we've decided on." Jungkook nods.

He's excited, creative juices already fuelling his brain with ideas on camera angles and post-production editing effects.

"You should know that contemporary isn't my strong suit." Hoseok says. "This routine is choreographed by Jimin, not me."

Jungkook already guessed it. He shrugs, "I think he hates me."

Hoseok sighs, a troubled look on his face.

"He doesn't hate you. He just-" He pauses, trying to find the right words to use without revealing anything. "He just hardly lets anyone in."

It's true, Hoseok thinks. Though Jimin is generally easy-going and friendly to everyone he meets, Hoseok has never seen him actively pursue a friendship beyond the superficial kind, rarely letting anyone get close to him. Because Jimin always had Taehyung beside him half his life, he has never really felt the need to make friends and as such, doesn't really know how to. Even Hoseok feels as though he doesn't fully know Jimin, despite the other considering him as one of his closest friends.

"It's not like I'm asking him to be my BFF, hyung." Jungkook rolls his eyes, proceeding to set up his camera to film.

He makes sure everything is in place before he turns to Hoseok, bunny teeth showing when he smiles. "Are you ready?"

"Okay let's do this."

 

─────

 

Two hours later, Jungkook is reviewing the footage he'd captured on his camera as he walks out of the practice room, finally calling it a day.

Hoseok had already left half an hour ago, after Jungkook had rejected his offer to help him pack up his equipments. He'd been great, accommodating to Jungkook's every instruction and delivering the best of his abilities despite how exhausted he must have been after the gruelling practice session today.

Jungkook hadn't wanted to bother the elder any further, already incredibly grateful and sorry for taking up his time.

As he replays the footage for the third time since Hoseok had left, however, Jungkook could only sigh.

He's frustrated. Technically, it was perfect. Hoseok's dancing had been perfectly executed, Jungkook's camera angles perfectly framed, the flow of the routine perfectly timed out.

There's just something missing.

No matter how hard he tries to identify what was lacking, he couldn't put a finger on it. He gives up, shutting off the camera to put it back into his camera bag.

Yawning loudly, he stretches as he takes out his phone to check the timing, surprised to find that it was already 12.34am. Well good luck to my alarm in the morning.

Just as Jungkook was about to put on his earphones, he hears the light bass of music coming from the main practice room.

He walks over, peering in through the tiny gap of the door left opened to find Jimin inside, dancing alone.

Why is he still here? Jungkook wonders, watching as the dancer seemed to be highly frustrated, repetitively going over a dance move. He recognises it from a routine he had observed earlier on, the same move Jimin had messed up countless times. He's still struggling with it now, it seems, his movements getting even more off-beat the more he tries.

"Maybe you should try spinning before you jump." Jungkook says as he steps into the room, scaring the boy.

Jimin's eyes were wide when he turns to him, narrowing again when he realises who he was. He stops the music, throwing the room in silence.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, wiping sweat off his chin.

"Was filming with Hoseok-hyung just now." Jungkook says, pointing to his camera bag. "What are you still doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to be here?" Jimin's voice was tight.

Jungkook sighs, frustrated by the boy's aloofness. He desperately wants to know what he has done to make the other dislike him so much, wants to know what he can do to make amends. Jungkook, surprising himself when he realises, wants to be Jimin's friend.

It's weird, considering all their encounters so far have been, well, disastrous to say the least. But Jungkook sees something in the dancer. When Jimin thinks he isn't watching, Jungkook sees his passion, determination, and an inherent selflessness that's projected through his little gestures - like the way Jimin always made sure everyone had a bottle of water before he drinks his own.

It's through observing the boy that Jungkook gets a glimpse of the real Park Jimin. What he doesn't understand is why Jimin had built an invisible wall around him, practically with a Warning - Keep Jeon Jungkook out! sign attached to it.

He sighs again. "... Why do you hate me so much?" 

Jimin stills, surprised by how sad and resigned the other sounded. His heart pangs with guilt.

"What are you talking about?" He plays dumb.

"You act like I'm some sort of- I don't know, unwanted pest. Whenever I approach you, you run off in a different direction. Whenever I try talking to you, you act like I'm about to tell you your house's burnt down. I don't know," Jungkook pauses. "You tell me."

He studies Jungkook, not for the first time. But as Jimin takes in his large brown eyes now filled with an uncertainty (like a puppy who doesn't know what it has done wrong), the last of his baby fat clinging to his cheeks, lips slightly jutted out in a pout - Jimin finally sees Jeon Jungkook.

All along, he had tried so hard to portray Jungkook as the bad guy - the bad boy with a leather jacket, a smirk, and an arrogant disposition. When he started to realise that Jungkook wasn't that person, Jimin had avoided interacting with the boy at all costs, afraid to see him as he really is - just a young boy with a pure heart. It only means that he no longer has anyone to blame.

He deflates, suddenly feeling his exhaustion hit him like a truck. He's so tired.

Tired of blaming Jungkook, tired of the ugly feelings inside him, tired of becoming this person he's not.

"I don't hate you." Jimin finally says, surprised to find that its the truth.

He stares into Jungkook's unwavering eyes for a few moments before exhaling deeply, letting go of everything inside him in a single breathe.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook."

Jimin feels free. "I'm sorry."

And he thinks maybe Jungkook could somehow understand his unspoken sentiments when the doe-eyed boy just smiles and extends a hand.

"Let's start afresh," He beams. "My name is Jeon Jungkook."

Jimin takes it. "Park Jimin."

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 7

Summary:

The first time Taehyung had begun to realise what he has with his boyfriend might not be the kind of 'love' he'd thought they shared, it was after he'd been forced to watch The Notebook after a lost game of Mario Kart with Jimin.

Notes:

omg i'm terribly sorry for the long wait!! i've been busy with year-end stuff :(

anw i'm literally astonished that this fic got 500 kudos??? like whenever i read it through again i'm disappointed bc it's lacking in a lot of areas but somehow many of you guys actually like it ;;

thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart ♡

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

As much as Jungkook wants to believe Jimin would magically start welcoming him with open arms into his circle of friends, he knows it's going to take time, despite them being at the very least civil to each other now.

Jimin still seemed uncomfortable whenever someone else would invite him to their hangouts, but at least he wasn't ignoring him anymore. There was even a record-breaking total of fourteen words exchanged between the both of them today that went like hey, hey, are you going to Taemin's party, yeah, cool, yeah, see you, cool.

That had been earlier on, but as Jungkook scans the crowded room filled with unfamiliar faces grinding onto each other for signs of Jimin now, the boy was nowhere to be found.

"Dude, why are you standing here alone?" He jumps when Taemin suddenly slaps him on the back from behind. "Want me to introduce you to the people here? I know plenty of pretty girls." He wiggles his brows suggestively.

"Nah, I'm good." He says. "Is Jimin here?"

Taemin eyes him carefully as he takes a sip from the beer bottle he's sporting, as if calculating something. He eventually smirks. "Why?"

"Nothing, just asking." Jungkook shrugs dismissively, oddly nervous under the other's scrutiny.

He yelps when he felt fingers pinch his cheeks. "You're so cute, Kookie." Taemin laughs. "But I'm sorry, Jimin already has a boyfriend."

Jungkook furrows his brows, confused. "That wasn't what I asked." He's gay? He has a boyfriend? How come no one brought it up?

"It's ok, everyone probably has a crush on Jimin at one point of time in their lives, it's normal. Get in line and join the waiting list."

"What? I don-" Jungkook frowns at the dramatically stoic Taemin, who's obviously taking a piss out of him. "You know what? Forget it."

He walks away, ignoring the laughter that follows him.

Why the hell had Taemin assumed he was interested in Jimin? Jungkook barely knew the other enough to even form a solid opinion on him. He shakes it off, deciding he should probably leave anyway. He still has a video to edit.

He grimaced as he squeezes past a couple who was making out so fiercely it almost appeared violent and walks into Taemin's room to retrieve his equipment. He breathes out a sigh of relief when it's finally quiet in the only room that was out of bounds to everyone else. He packs up whatever he has and was about to head out when he spots an outline of a silhouette sitting outside on the balcony floor through the curtains. The night breeze blows back the curtains a little and Jungkook catches a glimpse of Jimin, bathed in moonlight and looking serene as he stares at the night sky with his head tucked on his knees.

Jungkook hesitates, not wanting to destroy the moment, but walks toward him.

"Hey," He half-whispers, but it startles the boy anyway. He stays by the balcony door, letting the other recover before continuing. "Not enjoying the party?"

Jimin stares at him with an unreadable expression for a moment before shrugging. "Never been a party type of person." His gaze travels to Jungkook's belongings in hand. "Doesn't seem like you're enjoying it either if you're leaving so soon."

"Eh, I like parties just fine but I don't really know anyone here so... It's awkward."

"Trust me, I don't know half the people outside either. Taemin-hyung has way too many friends for me to keep track." Jimin laughs lightly. 

"Must be nice to have that many friends you could just throw a random party for no reason at all and people would still show, no questions asked." Jungkook sighs wistfully.

Jimin eyes him curiously. "You seem like the type to have plenty of friends though."

Jungkook chuckles. "I make friends easily, but keeping them is always the problem." It's true, he thinks. He's not necessarily a shy person or overly-introverted. He does enjoy socialising and going to the occasional party, but it seems that although he knows plenty of people, there's only a few he could truly consider a friend. "I guess I'm one of those high-maintenance friends who needs a deeper connection over the superficial ones you know?"

"I wouldn't know, considering how I don't actually have friendships like that."

"What are you talking about? You have Hoseok, Taemin, Jongin, and the rest of the dance crew?" Jungkook asks, confusion evident in his tone.

Jimin tilts his head to lean his cheek on his knees as he looks at Jungkook with a sad gaze. The vulnerability hidden within the depths of his brown orbs surprises him. He unknowingly steps forward, drawn in by the familiar pain of a loneliness he could understand himself. "We're close, but I guess there's still a lot I don't tell them about- can't tell them about."

"Do you at least tell your boyfriend about it?"

Jimin straightens up so quickly Jungkook startles as the almost sort-of bonding moment they seemed to be having got harshly shut down with the dancer's renewed guarded look of hostility and panic? "What did you just say?" His eyes narrowed.

"Look," Jungkook's eyes were wide as he puts up both hands in a show of surrender. "If this is about you being gay then don't worry, I swear I'm not homophobic. I mean, I'm like gay. Or well, half-gay. Bi, I mean. Yeah, bi for bisexual you know. I mean, you can say I'm gay now since I'm dating a guy but yeah you know."

Somewhere along his ramblings, Jimin's expression falls back into neutrality. It's no longer hostile, but still guarded, unreadable. "You have a boyfriend?" There was an edge to his words, sort of like a test or something. It puts Jungkook at unease.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, no. I don't know. We never said anything but I think we are? I'm not sure but I'm also pretty sure we are." Shut the fuck up, Jeon Jungkook.

Jimin was quiet for a few moments. He doesn't make eye contact when he asks, "Do you love him?"

"Huh?" Bewildered, Jungkook could only stare questioningly at the other. "Um... I don't know." He says truthfully.

Jimin deflates at the answer, face turned away so he couldn't see his expression. Jungkook stares at him from where he's hovering over him and realises that somewhere along the lines, he'd subconsciously made his way onto the balcony and was now standing next to Jimin.

It was silent besides the muted bass of music from the party that still rages on inside the house and the sound of the leaves rustling through the night breeze. It was a comfortable silence, Jungkook thinks, despite the abrupt tension from earlier on. He quietly sets his equipment down and sits beside Jimin, not looking at the boy but at the night sky.

He doesn't say anything. Jimin doesn't say anything either.

They just sit, relaxed, until their heartbeats and breathing synchronise as one.

In their silence, Jungkook wonders why he's a little less lonely than he was surrounded by people inside.

 

─────

 

To: Minnie ♡
the boys and i are gg to the karaoke tonight. gna be back late. love u <3

Taehyung tries to ignore the guilt that threatens to overwhelm him as he presses send.

It was already the third time this week he had lied to Jimin about his whereabouts, practically avoiding his boyfriend at this point. Even when he's not with Jungkook, he stays out a little later on purpose, until he's confident Jimin has fallen asleep before returning to their shared dorm.

He can't help it. Every time he looks at Jimin, he thinks about what he's doing to his boyfriend and spirals down the rabbit hole of guilt, sadness and misery. He hates himself for doing this to the one person who he loves more than anything in this world - the one person who loves him more than anything in this world - but he's past the point of no return.

He loves Jimin, he really does, but he's just not in love with him anymore. Or maybe he never was in love with him.

The first time Taehyung had begun to realise what he has with his boyfriend might not be the kind of 'love' he'd thought they shared, it was after he'd been forced to watch The Notebook after a lost game of Mario Kart with Jimin.

The movie, as horribly cheesy as it was, made Taehyung yearn for something he had thought he already possessed - romance. The portrayed nervous excitement of going on dates, kissing, and all the overwhelming emotions that came with the main characters falling in love, Taehyung realised he couldn't relate as he watched the scenes play out in front of him with an uneasy feeling in his gut.

Jimin felt more like comfort than anything else. He was Taehyung's safety blanket, the one person he knows will always take his side and could trust with his life.

Best friends since young, they'd started dating in high school as it seemed to be the only logical step to take. After all, they'd already kissed when they were both thirteen and experimenting, and even gone a little further when they were a bit older. It was comfortable, safe, and Taehyung had decided that he refused to let anyone else steal his best friend away from him. So he asked Jimin out.

It hadn't changed much besides the new title to their relationship and a shift in dynamics sexually. He'd liked it then. Liked the fact that their relationship was so easy, comfortable, and familiar. He had assumed then that all relationships were like that.

It was only until he entered University and started making friends outside of his and Jimin's previously impenetrable circle that Taehyung realises they were stale in comparison to the typical relationships of his peers.

As odd as it may sound, he envied his friends at times when they come crying to him after an argument with their significant others, get jealous of them when they kiss in front of him even though he has a boyfriend himself that he kisses all the time. Something just seemed different.

And when he meets Jungkook at a party, heart racing in a whole new way as he dances with the boy, he thinks he finally got a taste of what he's been searching for. It hits him that night that he will never find it with Jimin, and that the realisation might cause him to lose his best friend if the other knew.

He doesn't want to think about it so he gets drunk, kisses Jungkook in a drunken haze and lets himself get dragged back to the boy's dorm. He leaves without a word the next morning, full of guilt and regrets.

He wants to pretend he didn't just betray his best friend, wants to confess to Jimin about his horrible mistake and just forget Jungkook.

However, Taehyung has a taste of what he's been yearning for now and is too weak to resist temptation.

He sighs, shakes off whatever guilt that stubbornly clings to him and knocks on Jungkook's door.

 

─────

 

"What do you want, Tae?" Jungkook sighs when he opens the door to a sheepish Taehyung. He had been in the middle of editing Hoseok's video, already frustrated by the way it wasn't turning out as he intended it to be.

"I brought pizza," Taehyung attempts to lighten the mood as he raises the box of pizza he held in one hand. "It's pepperoni with no olives, your favourite."

Jungkook rolls his eyes but lets him in anyway. Hey, he's literally starving. "If you think you can buy sex with pizza, you're horribly wrong Kim Taehyung. I'm not in the mood."

"I'm not trying to fuck," Taehyung pouts, trying not to smile as he watches the boy immediately snatch a slice from the box. "I just figured you probably haven't eaten since you always forget to eat whenever you're busy editing."

"Why do you even care?" Jungkook stares at him, deliberate.

"I do care about you," Taehyung carefully says. "Do I need a reason?"

"Not enough to stay the night, or even hang out with me outside this room." Jungkook snorts.

"I'm sorry, I-" Taehyung frowns, trying to explain but not knowing what to say.

Jungkook puts down the pizza he's been chewing on, suddenly serious. "Listen, Tae. I like you, ok? I don't know you well but I like you enough to want to try a relationship with you," He sighs. "But if you don't like me back, because that's what it seems to me, then tell me now."

Taehyung stills. He stares at Jungkook, who is looking back at him expectantly.

"I like you," He finally says after a few moments. "I do like you, Kookie."

"Then prove it."

"How?"

Jungkook thinks back on how he doesn't have an answer to Jimin when he asked if he had a boyfriend, whether he loved Taehyung or not. He doesn't know, that was his honest answer, but he's tired of not finding out. Not trying.

"Take me on a date. A real date," Jungkook says. "Let's start from there."

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 8

Notes:

happy new year to everyone!! *throws confetti*

i hope you guys have the best year in 2018 and only receive happiness and lots and lots of love hehe ♡

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Jimin doesn't know what changed things after that brief encounter on the balcony with Jungkook- but everything feels different now.

For a start, the cloud of hostility that Jimin created has dissipated into just an air of awkwardness whenever the both of them are present. It's much easier to breathe in, and he doesn't go out of his way as much as before to avoid interacting with Jungkook.

It still hurts to think of the boy with his boyfriend though, so he takes to avoiding Taehyung rather than Jungkook instead, purposely staying behind after practice in hopes that Taehyung would already be sleeping when he gets home.

He thinks Taehyung might be doing the same, considering how sometimes he'd catch his boyfriend pretending to sleep when he got back, and his heart clenches painfully in his chest. But he ignores it like he ignores everything else- the cheating, Jungkook, his broken heart- and goes to sleep.

Jimin knows that sooner or later, with the way things were going, he'll have to muster up the courage to face things, ends things even, but he's terrified. It's inevitable, he knows deep down, but he'll do anything to postpone it.

Jungkook might not love Taehyung, Jimin ponders on that possibility as he dances idly to the routine he could probably do in his sleep by now. Jungkook had been hesitant, almost unsure when Jimin had asked if he loved Taehyung, and it threw him off. It's hard to digest when he had always assumed the boy would be in love with Taehyung, or somewhere along those lines, like how it usually goes in dramas.

It's disconcerting to be off-script.

He shakes it off and stops the music, deciding it's sufficiently late enough to return to their dorm. Tae should probably be asleep.

He takes a quick shower at the dance hall, knowing he'll only be too lazy to do so once he's back at the dorm, and haphazardly stuffs all his belongings into his locker. His stomach rumbles loudly, finally protesting in hunger after being left on empty during dinner due to the lack of time to even think about eating amongst the intensive rehearsals.

"Shhh," He chides as he lightly smacks his stomach, the hollowness echoing through the empty room.

It was raining outside, droplets of rain and the cold air of the late autumn night hitting his cheeks as he steps out the building. It's chilly and bleak, but oddly comforting. Jimin had always preferred the colder seasons over the dreadful summer. He lifts the hood of his oversized hoodie over his head and starts walking.

"Hyung!" A voice stops him almost immediately. He turns back, surprised to find Jungkook jogging down the stairs towards him.

"Um," Jungkook pants lightly. "I saw you leaving from the window upstairs and just wanted to give you an umbrella." He holds out the umbrella he was carrying.

"You're still here?" Jimin asks.

Jungkook smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. "I filmed again with Hoseok-hyung earlier on, but I sort of fell asleep while packing up."

"Didn't you already filmed the previous time?" 

"Yeah, but it was lacking so I had to film again. This is the third time." Jungkook sighs. "I feel bad for bothering hyung but..." He drifts off, shrugging apologetically.

"Oh."

"Yeah, anyway, I woke up and was packing again when I saw you leaving so I just wanted to, um, give you this." He holds out the umbrella.

"Then what about you? Aren't you leaving?" Jimin frowns, still not taking the umbrella.

Jungkook shrugs again and shoves it into his hands. "I can handle a bit of rain. You shouldn't get sick though, isn't the performance coming up soon?"

"It's fine," Jimin glances at the ominous sky, noting how the rain looks like it's only going to get bigger. He pushes the umbrella back into Jungkook's hands. "Like you said, it's only a bit of rain."

The first strikes of lightning flashes outside.

"Um," Jungkook blinks. "I guess we could share?"

 

 

Jimin waits as Jungkook bolts upstairs to get his stuff.

The rain outside thickens, the relentless pattering on the ground that once soothed him giving him anxious jitters now. He has half a mind to just escape while Jungkook was still upstairs, not sure if sharing an umbrella with the boy was such a good idea.

He doesn't get to act on it, however, when Jungkook races back down within minutes looking oddly excited. "Okay, let's go." He opens up the umbrella and beckons Jimin over.

Resignation won over Jimin's hesitation and he steps under, feeling uncomfortably close to the boy even though they weren't even touching.

"Lead the way," Jungkook gestures. "We can walk to your dorm first and I'll head to mine from there."

 

 

They walk in silence.

Jimin huddles into himself while Jungkook keeps a respectful distance, even if it meant half his shoulder was sticking out in the rain in an attempt to give Jimin space. He could tell the dancer was uncomfortable with him and tries his best to accommodate to his comfort level.

The rain hits their umbrella noisily, sliding off the surface to splash into the puddles of water already forming on the concrete below.

"How's dance practice going?" Jungkook asks casually, breaking the silence.

"It's good," Jimin says, ignoring the way their arms brush together as they walk. "How's your project going?"

"It's fine," Jungkook sighs. "Definitely not A-worthy, but fine I guess."

"Didn't peg you to be the type to care about grades." Jimin pauses, realising how judgemental he sounded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

"Nah it's fine. I get that a lot, even from my professors believe it or not." He shakes his head in mock disapproval. "It's the leather jacket that makes you look like a delinquent, Mr Jeon." He imitates his professor in a high-pitched shrill voice.

Jimin breaks out in laughter. He eyes the boy's standard outfit of a leather jacket, white t-shirt, ripped blue jeans and brown Timbalands. "Yeah, it's definitely the jacket." He agrees.

"I've always wanted to be a rockstar," Jungkook smiles mischievously at Jimin. "Wear leather jackets, get tattoos, drive a motorcycle and all that cool shit."

Jimin snorts. "You don't have to be a rockstar to get a tattoo and drive a motorcycle."

"I guess," Jungkook laughs. "But I don't have the courage to do all that. I guess I thought if I was a rockstar, I'd be so pressurised into living up to those stereotypes that I'll force myself to do it, you know?"

"It's not fun to live like that," Jimin kicks a random pebble and watches it splash into a deep puddle of water. "It's like how contemporary and ballet dancers are expected to have a certain body shape and physique, you know? You have no idea what some people, girls and guys alike, would do just to live up to that ideal."

Jungkook stares at him, carefully deliberate. "Do you?" He asks. "Feel pressured?"

"I used to," Jimin admits. "I would restrict to the point where I'm only eating a proper meal every other day. But after Tae-" He pauses, frowning deeply. "My boyfriend found out and talked me out of it."

"He sounds like a good person," Jungkook says, happy that at least Jimin had found someone good for him. "You're lucky."

Jimin doesn't reply, mood seeming to sour. His stomach grumbles loudly instead, cutting through the sound of the rain and their footsteps on the wet pavement. He winces internally, hoping Jungkook hadn't heard it.

Jungkook laughs. "Hungry?"

"Yeah," Jimin admits, embarrassed.

"Do you want to stop by the convenience store to grab something to eat?" Jungkook suggests. He sees how Jimin was already prepared to dismiss the idea so he quickly adds, "The rain looks like it's only getting heavier. We should wait for it to go down for a bit before continuing."

Jimin looks at Jungkook, realises the boy's almost half-exposed to the rain in an effort to shelter Jimin entirely from it. He's soaked on one side and shivering, while Jimin is almost fully dry and comfortable.

"Yeah, okay." He relents, feeling bad, and shifts a little closer to him to fit them better under the tiny umbrella. It burns where their arms press together, the warmth bringing Jimin a strange sense of comfort.

 

 

The bell chimes as they enter the nearest convenience store they could find, the thunder echoing imposingly behind as if it were mocking them. The girl behind the counter barely spares them a glance, rapidly texting on her phone, probably complaining to her friends about getting stuck with a graveyard shift on a Friday night.

They head straight for the instant ramen aisle, Jimin's stomach rumbling even louder as if knowing its finally going to be filled and screaming at Jimin to hurry the fuck up and eat.

"Shut up," He mutters quietly to himself, but Jungkook hears it anyway. He laughs in amusement, raising a brow. Jimin tries to glare at him but his stomach protests out loud again in defiance and he groans in defeat, snatching a random cup noodle off the shelf.

"The beast must be tamed," Jungkook nods in mock sympathy before bursting out in laughter. It triggers something in the both of them and they start giggling like mad schoolgirls all the way to the counter where the cashier shoots them a wary look. Jimin laughs even harder, and Jungkook follows.

"T-thank you," He manages to say in between his laughter as he grabs his change and items from the poor, confused girl.

"Fuck, she must think we're drunk," Jungkook says when they finally calmed down enough to fill their cups with boiling water, the muscles in their cheeks aching.

"What was that even?" Jimin is smiling so wide his eyes form crescents, lit with amusement and humour. Jungkook looks away, blaming the pounding in his chest on the exhilaration and hilarity of the moment instead.

"Hashtag triggered." He says solemnly and the both of them struggle not to get into another laughing fit.

The rain continues pouring out the glass window they were facing, lulling them into a comfortable silence. Jimin sighs in pure relief and pleasure as he slurps up the steaming, salty noodles that tasted like the best thing he has had this week.

"Mmmm," Jungkook exaggeratedly groans. "I haven't had cup ramen since starting University."

Jimin whips his head towards him in disbelief. "Are you serious? What do you even live off then?"

"I work in the cafe most days so I usually eat whatever they have and other days... I eat granola bars. I'm too lazy to even boil water."

Jimin snorts. "Well, at least granola bars are healthy."

"They're fine," Jungkook shrugs. He's pensive as he stares at the rain outside, a sad expression flitting across his face. Jimin wants to chase it away. "I miss my omma's cooking back home."

"Where are you from?"

"Busan."

"No way," Jimin stops slurping his noodles. "I'm from Busan too."

"Really?" Jungkook turns to him, eyes wide. "But you don't have an accent?"

"You don't either," Jimin notes. "I've spent the first few years in Seoul practising my speech to blend in so I guess it's perfected now."

"Me too. I've spent a long time in Busan practising Seoul speech before coming here..." He drifts off. "I don't know. I guess I saw it as a new beginning and opportunity to renew myself. Like a new year's resolution, I guess, to become a better version of myself."

"And who were you back then?" Jungkook's surprised that Jimin actually sounded curious.

"No one," He says. "Just a shy ass kid who didn't even have the courage to tell the girl he had a crush on back then that he liked her. He ended up vomiting on her shoes, by the way."

Jimin gasps in horror. "You vomited on your crush's shoes?"

"Yeah, I was timid, shy, and a huge nerd back there. I thought coming to Seoul was my only opportunity to upgrade my image. Hence the leather jacket." He winks cheekily, eliciting a melodious laugh from Jimin.

"I even thought of going by another name here," Jungkook continues in a mock conspiratorial tone. "Like an alter ego you know?"

"What name?" Jimin resists the urge to smile.

"Ugh, I can't tell you. It's embarrassing." Jungkook buries his face in his palm, suddenly bashful.

"Oh come on, you can't leave me hanging!"

He groans, shyly peeking at Jimin through the gaps of his fingers. Jimin's heart swells with unexpected affection and he resists the urge to coo and pinch the younger's cheeks. "Promise not to laugh?" Jungkook asks and he nods, already feeling a laugh threatening to escape.

"It was either Ian, Tattoo or- hey you promised not to laugh!" Jungkook shouts indignantly as Jimin exploded in laughter.

"I'm sorry, but Tattoo? Really?" Jimin had to hold onto the table to stop himself from sliding off the chair in a fit of laughter. He bites the inside of his cheeks in an attempt to stop when he sees Jungkook pout. "Okay, okay, I promise I won't laugh. What's the last one?"

Jungkook shakes his head, flushing red in embarrassment. Jimin pokes his cheeks with the unused end of his chopsticks.

"... Seagull." Jungkook looks away.

Jimin falls off his chair laughing.

 

 

They stand outside the store afterwards, stomachs full and jaws aching from laughing so much. The rain had calmed into a light drizzle now, barely visible in the sky.

"Shall we?" Jungkook opens up the umbrella with a smile and Jimin feels his heart clench in pain. Now that the high went down, he belatedly registers how odd this whole situation was. He was hanging out with his boyfriend's lover and enjoying it for fuck's sake. It hadn't dawned on him before but now that he realises how absurd it was, he can't help but withdraw into himself once again.

"Actually, I think I can walk back by myself now. It's barely even raining anymore." He says, avoiding Jungkook's eyes. He misses how the boy deflates in visible disappointment.

"Oh, okay." Jungkook shifts awkwardly on his feet, sensing the drastic change in Jimin's mood. "Um, thanks for eating with me tonight."

"Thanks for sharing your umbrella with me."

The awkwardness was almost unbearable.

"Well, I'll get going first then," Jimin says hastily. "See you around."

He practically sprints off then, confused and frustrated. It was just so unfair, his heart aches when he realises he actually likes Jungkook and sees how well they get along. And maybe in another universe, one where Taehyung wasn't cheating on him with the boy, they might even become good friends.

But it's impossible in this one, he thinks bitterly.

And for the first time ever, Jimin feels his anger directed towards Taehyung.

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 9

Summary:

Jungkook absorbs all of that knowledge about Park Jimin like a dried-up sponge and stores it deep within himself, unsure of what to do with it, yet inexplicably happy for owning it.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Ok, what the fuck is up with you?" Jungkook snaps, patience finally wearing thin when he watches Taehyung anxiously survey their surroundings for the umpteen time tonight.

Ever since Taehyung had picked him up from his dorm to go on the date they both agreed on- or maybe Jungkook had imagined the whole "mutual consent" thing because his date sure acted as if he'd been coerced into it, distant and distracted the entire time.

Even now, as they sat in a tiny booth by the window of a quiet Mexican restaurant on campus, he could see that Taehyung's mind was elsewhere, only paying half his attention to whatever Jungkook had been saying.

"Huh?" Taehyung redirects his gaze back to him, frowning in confusion.

Jungkook puts his half-eaten burrito down, wiping the sauce off his lips before continuing, "You've been acting all weird tonight, Tae. You're not listening to me at all, constantly looking over your shoulder for what, I don't even know, and you flinch whenever I touch you. Honestly, if you didn't want this then you could've told me straight up, you know? I wouldn't have been offended."

Taehyung chews on his bottom lip. "It's not that," He hesitates for a second before extending a hand across the table to cover Jungkook's. "I do want this."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I-I can't-" He pauses, frustration and another emotion Jungkook couldn't quite place lacing his voice. He struggles visibly, looking as though he wants to say something important, but ends up sighing in defeat instead. "I'm just really stressed out over my projects and stuff, you know?"

Jungkook stares at him, skeptical. "It's not like I'm not stressed, Taehyung. You're not even trying."

"I know," Taehyung laces their fingers together. "I've been a terrible date, I'm sorry. Can we please start over?"

Jungkook stares at him, battling an internal conflict on whether or not he should press him even further. He eventually sighs, "Fine. Do you want me to go back to my dorm and have you pick me up all over again?" He attempts to joke, deciding to drop the matter for now. He was too tired and all he really wants is to enjoy a nice dinner and maybe a round of rough sex later on.

Taehyung looks visibly relieved. He smiles cheekily, "If we do that, can we decide on a different restaurant this time? I swear they have Despacito on repeat here and it's killing my brain cells."

Jungkook laughs, and the tension in the air breaks.

The rest of dinner went smoothly with light conversations carried over their monster burritos and ridiculously sweet iced teas.

"Your professor sounds like a proper dick," Taehyung says as he sucks up the last sip of his drink with his straw.

"I know right, ugh, I still can't believe he's making me redo the entire project," Jungkook rolls his eyes in annoyance. "I hate film."

"It can be fun," Taehyung laughs. "What are you filming?"

"Contemporary dance," Jungkook says, idly sucking on an ice cube. "I've been working with one of the dance majors here."

Taehyung freezes, blood running cold. His stomach coils with unease. "What? Who?"

"You probably won't even know him."

"He might be, um, famous or something," He laughs nervously, unable to conceal the anxiousness in his voice. "I might know about him."

Jungkook eyes him weirdly for a moment before shrugging, "Well, he is quite popular so you might actually know him. His name is Jung Hoseok, but he goes by J-Hope on social media."

The blood drains from Taehyung's face. "And you only work with him?" His voice was urgent, almost desperate.

"Yeah, I only needed one dancer. I've almost finished-" Jungkook frowns in concern. "Hey, are you okay? You're sweating."

Taehyung stands up abruptly. "Can we go now? I think I have food poisoning."

 

─────

 

Jungkook spends the next day at work in a shitty mood.

"I think someone accidentally left his dildo up his ass today," Yugyeom commented, swiftly avoiding the broomstick that came for his stomach. He laughs, grabbing it from Jungkook to take over the job instead. "I'm assuming your date went horribly. Was it the sex?"

"If non-existent sex counts," Jungkook shrugs, propping himself up on one of the tables. The café was empty anyway. "He said he has food poisoning. I don't, and we ate the same thing."

"Tragic." Yugyeom shakes his head. "I don't get it though - I thought the both of you were already dating."

"Nah, we've never put a label on it." Jungkook shrugs.

"But you want to put one on now because you fell for him?"

"I like him," Jungkook corrects, oddly discomfortable by the word love.

"So why rush to get into a relationship and not just let things flow and see where it goes?" 

"Haven't we already let things flow for far too long? We've been fucking and hanging out for months, Gyeomie. Is it that bad to want something more exciting than just this?" Jungkook frowns.

Yugyeom looks perplexed. "Dude, you do know that the only thing that'll probably change is your relationship status on Facebook right? I hate to break it to you but fucking and hanging out are literally what couples do. If it's unexciting now, then it's most likely still going to remain unexciting."

"But the circumstances will differ," Jungkook tries to argue. Something about what Yugyeom was trying to tell him rubs him off the wrong way. "We'll probably- I don't know, be different?"

"Kook," Yugyeom sighs. "How do you feel when you hang out with Taehyung?"

Jungkook blinks. "Good?" He stares at Yugyeom's unimpressed face. "Um, fun I guess? We play games a lot together. We also talk a lot when we're not fucking, it's nice."

"Good. Fun. Nice." Yugyeom deadpans.

Jungkook stares at him blankly.

"What I'm trying to say is that maybe you're just chasing after the idea of being in a relationship," Yugyeom sighs. "And maybe you're going to end up disappointed when you realise you've been trying to picture something that just isn't there."

The entrance bell chimes before Jungkook could say anything.

 

─────

 

Jungkook finds himself standing in front of a familiar building a few hours later, exhausted from work and maybe slightly delirious because why the fuck had he come here?

As expected, only a single window of the entire building was lit up against the night sky. He could briefly make out a familiar silhouette prancing around the room in a practiced, graceful manner. Jimin.

"Fuck," He curses under his breathe, turning around. "What am I doing here?" He wasn't even carrying his camera today and literally had no excuse to be loitering around here.

"Get the hint, Jeon Jungkook," He mutters to himself. "He doesn't want to be your friend."

His brow furrows as he recalls back to a couple of days ago where Jimin had practically ran off right after what Jungkook had thought was one of the most enjoyable dinner banters (or supper, technically) he'd had in awhile. Jungkook couldn't remember when was the last time he had laughed so much with someone else. But apparently just as he started to think that Jimin was finally opening up to him and accepting his silent offer of friendship, the boy had ran. He could still hear Jimin's melodious laughter echoing inside his head, as if to mock him now.

On the contrary to popular belief, Jungkook's not stupid. He knows very well that he should probably back off and give Jimin the wide berth he so obviously prefers, knowing that the dancer feels uncomfortable with him for whatever reasons. But like he says, he's probably delirious.

"Fuck it," He decides, making a 180-degree turn and strides straight into the building towards the practice room. His stomach flutters as it always does, from nerves he assumes, whenever he sees Jimin.

The boy is lying on the floor scrolling lazily on his phone when Jungkook knocks.

"Hey," Jungkook peeks in, smiling awkwardly.

Jimin sits up, surprised. "Oh hey," He blinks. "Didn't realise you were filming today."

"I'm not. I just ended work at the café and I was just passing by so I thought I'd drop in to say hi, you know?" Jungkook lies. He holds up the large brown paper bag he was carrying. "I also brought muffins."

"Isn't the café like- all the way across campus from here?" Jimin frowns.

Oh fuck. "My dorm's around this area," He lies again, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. A nervous habit. Jimin catches it, but doesn't say anything. He shrugs instead, "Tell me you have banana muffins."

Jungkook smiles. "Guess you're in luck. I have three of those, two blueberries ones, and four chocolate ones."

Jimin looks at him incredulously.

 

 

Five discarded muffin liners later, they sat side-by-side on the floor leaning against the wall facing a large dance mirror, lost in conversation. The atmosphere was light-hearted and casual over unimportant yet somehow significant, Jungkook feels, topics.

He learns that Jimin once broke his arm hanging off a monkey bar as a child, learns that he doesn't like mangoes ("how could you not like mangoes?" Jungkook had exclaimed in horror), learns that he prefers cats over dogs, and meat over seafood.

Jungkook absorbs all of that knowledge about Park Jimin like a dried-up sponge and stores it deep within himself, unsure of what to do with it, yet inexplicably happy for owning it.

He tells Jimin about the time he accidentally stolen a candy from a thrift store and cried when his mother found out, afraid that she'd call the cops on him, tells him about how he hates bugs yet raised a stag beetle because it looked cool, that his gay awakening was when he realised he had a crush on Iron Man. It's all unimportant stuff, parts of him that he has never thought to share with his friends, but does so with Jimin for unknown reasons.

"... so I ended up faking dizziness as an excuse to leave but he started panicking and wanted to drive me to the ER," Jungkook groans, face palming. "I ran off while he went to get his car. Never saw him again."

"Blind dating sounds like a recipe for disaster," Jimin shudders with a laugh. "Thank god I've never been on one."

"Well, I guess not. You probably won't need them to get date." Jungkook says as he studies the boy's reflection.

Jimin feels his cheeks heating up, a weird feeling in his stomach when he meets Jungkook's intense gaze through the mirror. "It's not that," He looks away, confused by his own reaction. "I've been attached since I was sixteen so..."

He thinks he saw what looks like disappointment flash on Jungkook's face for a split second before it's concealed by a smile. "Right, your mysterious boyfriend." Jungkook laughs. "Wow, you guys have been together for that long?"

"Yeah," Jimin shifts uncomfortably. He doesn't feel right talking about Taehyung with Jungkook.

"You guys must love each other a lot then." Jungkook says, longing and a hint of envy in his voice.

Jimin shrugs agreeably, saying nothing. He's almost desperate to change the topic.

"I'm the worst at relationships," Jungkook continues with a snort. "I don't think I can ever get married."

"Why?"

Jungkook twirls an empty muffin cup on his finger. "I used to look up to my parents' relationship, you know? We were well off, he bought her everything she ever wanted, and they just seemed so happy-" He sighs. "Until my mother found out he had been cheating on her the entire time with his secretary."

Jimin's stomach churns.

"It's a cliché, really, laughable almost. Everyone knew - everyone." Jungkook laughs bitterly. "But no one cared to tell her. And when she finally found out, she had already given up too much for him that she was left with nothing but me by her side after their divorce. It broke her."

He doesn't notice Jimin's silence, too caught up with the painful memories.

"Everyone blamed my father afterwards, but I remembered being so angry at the people who knew instead," Jungkook scoffs. "Even the fucking helper who interacted with my mother on a daily basis knew, and no one ever thought that maybe she deserved to know?"

He sighs. "If I were to be cheated on, I would definitely hope someone would tell me before I invest too much on that person, you know?"

Jimin's heart sinks.

Notes:

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 10

Summary:

"Are we going to be okay?" Taehyung asks when they were back in their dorm, voice small and hesitant.

Notes:

i'm so overwhelmed by all ur love and support omg

thank you so so much everyone ♡

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Jimin wakes up with a gasp. The familiar ear-splitting wail of his alarm shocks his system into consciousness, chasing away the lingering guilt and regret of a nightmare he's already starting to forget with annoyance and irritation.

Fuck, I must have forgotten to turn off the alarm for the weekend. He groans, burying his face into the pillow as he blindly reaches out to fumble with the clock, sighing in relief when the quiet returns.

"I'm sorry I forgot to turn the alarm off, just go back to—" He pauses when he sweeps his hand across the other side of the bed to find it empty. "Taetae?" He turns so his cheek is resting on the pillow, opening a bleary eye in search of his boyfriend. The other side of the bed looked slept in, but empty.

He must have left early to find Jungkook, he thinks bitterly. He wallows in his own misery for a few moments, contemplating on whether or not he should call Taehyung and ask him where he went when he spots a bright yellow post-it note pasted on the surface of their tiny bedside table. He grabs it and sits up, lazily rubbing away the sleep from his eyes.

Meet me at our usual spot today?

Jimin blinks, half-relieved that Taehyung wasn't with Jungkook after all and half-bewildered by what the message reads. A fleeting thought of what if he's planning to break up with me? crosses his mind for a second before he panics and shuts it down almost immediately. No, Taehyung wouldn't do that to him— not at their usual spot. He's confused though, considering how they haven't been there for over two years now and with their relationship being on the rocks recently, it's puzzling that Taehyung would even suggest going there.

He springs up to take a quick shower before booking an Uber to his old high school, now abandoned, with a heavy heart.

 

─────

 

He's hit with an intense wave of nostalgia as he stands before the building, a broken shell of the structure he used to spend almost every day in for six whole years. It was desolate now, with spider webs and dust clinging to the walls he once had to scrub during detention.

The school had closed down only a year after Jimin had graduated, some sort of teacher-student scandal causing its demise, and was now a place that only holds whatever memories he'd created there. He swallows hard as he walks along a familiar pathway to the one place within the school that held most of his precious memories. The rooftop. It had been out of bounds then, but Jimin and Taehyung had taken to picking the locks to break in, making it their own private spot.

The chains were already unlocked now, and Jimin pushes through the gate to enter the rooftop. Taehyung doesn't turn from where he's sitting on the ledge, back facing Jimin when he approaches him.

"Do you remember that one time we bought cheesy fries up here to eat but ended up spilling the entire box over a bunch of jocks below?" Taehyung muses as Jimin climbs to sit next to him.

"Yeah," Jimin laughs, remembering how those self-proclaimed "manliest men of manly men" had shrieked so loudly when the glob of cheese and fries landed straight into their quiffs. "The birds literally started attacking them two seconds later."

"Fuck, I remember that," Taehyung lets out a short laugh. "Remember how we hid immediately and they were so confused but just assumed that fries could somehow miraculously fall from the sky?"

Jimin face-palms, laughing. "God, they fit the dumb jock stereotype so perfectly they could have been a textbook description."

The wind carries the sound of their laughter across the fields until it trails off. The silence that follows is almost tangible, the both of them lost in the rush of memories of being young, dumb and stupid teenagers.

It brings Jimin back to where it had been him and Taehyung against the world, before they had even gotten together— the mischievous pranks, reckless ideas, deep talks, and laughter. It was love in its purest form, the kind where he knows he'll always have Taehyung's back and that Taehyung will always have his. It was a type of mutual trust that he could rely on, an absolute certainty that there would be no secrets between them. They were each other's person, in a simple sense, platonic soulmates as they liked to call it.

He wonders if eliminating the first word was the reason why he longer feels that way anymore.

"I miss it," Taehyung says. "High school, being stupid kids, the easy life—" He turns to Jimin, reaching out to wrap a large hand around his pinky finger, a gesture they used to do as kids. "I miss us."

Jimin feels a sudden surge of anger and resentment boil inside him. You ruined us, he wants to scream at Taehyung. He doesn't, but he pulls his finger out of his grasp. "You're still here. I'm still here." He says, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice.

But where have we gone? was what he doesn't say. The both of them hear it anyway.

"Jimin," Taehyung starts and Jimin looks at him in surprise because he never calls him by his actual name— it was always Minnie, Chim, or babe. "I want to apologise for being such a shitty boyfriend these past few months. I—" Jimin watches Taehyung's face scrunch up as if in pain, tears welling up in his eyes. "I know things have been really weird between us lately and i-it's all my fault."

Taehyung chokes up, tears starting to stream down his face now. He looks so utterly devastated and desperate that Jimin's heart pangs, feeling his own pain along with Taehyung's, as if it were his own too. "I promise you I'll stop. I'll stop acting like this and be good to you," His arms encircle Jimin's waist and he buries his face in his chest, sobbing. "I'll be good."

Jimin feels his own tears brimming in his eyes, heart aching with each choked sob Taehyung releases. His body trembles with the need to embrace his best friend, a habit he had sustained since they were kids to always hug first and ask later whenever he sees Taehyung cry.

It takes everything in him to remain still, waiting for Taehyung to confess, to finally tell him the truth, to go back to being his Taehyung— the one who would always be honest with him. He desperately needs Taehyung to be the one to tell him, because then maybe Jimin could learn to forgive him. Maybe he won't need to lose him.

"You can tell me anything Tae," It comes out as a whisper, a silent plea. "Anything." Please tell me.

Taehyung just sobs even harder, shaking his head. He says nothing.

Says nothing even after he stopped crying, nose red and eyes swollen. Says nothing when they leave the building. Says nothing on the taxi ride back to campus.

He says nothing— and in his silence, Jimin thinks maybe there is no going back. Somewhere along the way, he'd lost his best friend without even realising.

"Are we going to be okay?" Taehyung asks when they were back in their dorm, voice small and hesitant.

Jimin studies a picture of them displayed on the shelf by the entrance. It was taken when they were twelve and at a playground. They had big smiles on their faces despite the ice cream that had melted all over their hands in the heat.

He smiles sadly. "Yeah," He half-lies. "We're fine." For now. At least until graduation.

He ignores the selfish part of himself telling him to yell at Taehyung and hurt him like how the boy had hurt him because he deserves that much, and listens to the rational part of his mind telling him that confronting and breaking up with him now would only be too messy— there were only two more months until they graduate and it'd be too much of a hassle to request for a switch in dorm rooms now. Not to mention, breaking up would definitely affect both of their academic performances negatively.

Though if Jimin was being completely honest— he was just too scared to end things permanently. Taehyung had been part of his life for far too long that Jimin couldn't imagine living one without him.

And as much as he's welcoming these new feelings of resentment and anger towards Taehyung (because it's easier to deal with than sadness), he doesn't think he could ever hate the boy.

Not with that much history between them.

 

─────

 

Jimin ends up in front of Mean Bean café an hour later, after he'd escaped out of the dorm while Taehyung was taking a shower, deciding he was far too tired to play pretend with him right after the emotional rollercoaster ride.

For some reason, the first person he thinks to look for is Jungkook. He doesn't know why— doesn't understand the strange pull he has towards the boy, even after telling himself that he should be staying away from him, that they shouldn't even like each other in the first place, let alone become friends.

It's weird, and maybe a little fucked up, but Jimin doesn't think of Taehyung at all when he looks at Jungkook. He only sees Jeon Jungkook, the somehow adorably awkward boy with a big heart. A boy who has no idea about everything that is happening now.

Jimin feels guilty, especially after their last conversation where Jungkook had opened up to him about his mother being cheated on, but somehow the idea of him coming clean to Jungkook about everything is even more daunting than the idea of him confronting Taehyung. He knows he's afraid to lose Taehyung to confrontation, but what about Jungkook?

Jimin sighs, shaking off his thoughts. He had enough emotions for the day. He will think about telling him another day.

He enters the café, the ringing bells reminding him of the countless times he'd come here not too long ago with an entirely different set of motives and feelings towards Jungkook. A sense of déjà vu hits him when he spots the boy sitting with a familiar-looking customer, looking as though they were bickering. Ah, the good-looking guy that had caught him staring previously.

"Jimin?" Jungkook calls out, sounding bewildered yet excited. The stranger turns to him as well, eyes lit with recognition and interest. "What are you doing here?"

Jimin hesitates. "I came to visit you," He decides with honesty. He watches as a wide smile of pure happiness breaks out on Jungkook's face and for some reason he panics, hastily adding: "I was running an errand nearby so..." He lies. What the fuck had just happened?

Jungkook's smile doesn't let down. "Well, I'm not actually working today. Yugyeom's on shift," He points at the tall red-haired boy Jimin recognises from before. He was already staring at Jimin curiously with a smirk. Jimin looks away. "I was just hanging with Seokjin tod—"

"That's hyung to you, brat." Seokjin, it seems, cuts in with a glare that held no heat in it.

"Gosh," Jungkook sighs exaggeratedly. "I forgot how old people can get so pissy about— ouch!" He winces when Seokjin kicks him from under the table.

"Stop being a brat for a second and introduce us."

"Right," Jungkook clears his throat. "Jimin, meet Kim Seokjin, my oldest friend." He emphasises on the word oldest, earning another kick to his shin. "Hyung, meet Park Jimin, my, um, friend?" It comes out like a question and Seokjin raises an eyebrow.

Jimin resists the urge to smile. "Yeah, I'm Jungkook's friend," He confirms, not missing how the boy's face lit up.

"Kook-ah, I told you to stop visiting rent-a-friend-dot-com," Seokjin jokes. He turns to Jimin, "I'm sorry if you don't get paid enough to put up with his shit. Why don't you join us so I can bless you with my company instead?"

Jimin laughs. He's definitely going to get along well with Seokjin.

 

 

The hours fly by as the three of them chatted and joked around. Well, mostly Jungkook and Seokjin, whose constant bickering amused Jimin to no end. It was highly entertaining, and Jimin doesn't think he'd ever had this much fun watching two people argue.

"You're a dancer?" Seokjin asks, looking impressed. Then he suddenly gasps, eyes widening. "Do you know where all spaghettis goes to dance?"

Jimin blinks. "Wha—"

"At the meat ball!" Seokjin bursts out laughing and Jimin can't help but to join along, more amused by his laughter than the actual joke. Jungkook groans.

"Fuck off Kookie," Seokjin harmlessly digs. "I'm keeping this one. He actually laughs at my jokes."

"He laughs because you're a joke," Jungkook rolls his eyes, standing up. He lightly tugs on Jimin's sleeves. "Come on, let's go."

"Huh? Where are we going?"

"To eat," Jungkook says. "It's already past dinner time and iced lattes definitely doesn't count as food."

Jimin checks the timing on his phone, ignoring the text messages and missed calls from Taehyung asking where he went, surprised to find that it was already past 9pm. "What about Seokjin-hyung?" He frowns, confused when Jungkook starts dragging him out of the café alone.

"He's only with me so he can waste time while waiting for Namjoon-hyung," Jungkook fake gags, swiftly ducking the crushed up receipt Seokjin threw at him. "It's just the two of us for dinner," He pauses, suddenly shy. "I mean, you don't mind eating with me right?"

Jimin ignores how his heartbeat quickens at Jungkook's shy smile. "Of course not," He returns the smile.

Seokjin is the one who fake-gags this time. "Flirt outside before I puke my lunch out for real."

 

 

They end up in a pizzeria with two large pizzas cramped on the small table they were seated at.

"I retract my offer of friendship," Jungkook deadpans as he stares at Jimin's order of a hawaiian pizza. "Pineapple on pizza is a fucking abomination."

Jimin shoots him a look. "At least I'm not a basic bitch that goes for pepperoni," He retorts, resisting the urge to laugh when Jungkook's jaw drops open comically. "I bet you've never tried pineapple on pizza before and just hate it because everyone else does."

"I don't need to try it to know it sucks," Jungkook shudders in distaste. "I can already imagine how it'd taste."

"Ok, Mr Imaginative," Jimin teases. "Why don't you try it now and let me prove you wrong?" He holds out a slice of his pizza, laughing when Jungkook immediately backs away from it as if it's some sort of weapon.

"Nope," Jungkook shakes his head. "Not today, Satan, not today."

Jimin pretends to back down. Just as Jungkook opens his mouth to take another bite of his pizza, he picks a piece of pineapple from his own and aims it at the boy's mouth. It goes in just before Jungkook starts chewing and Jimin's eyes widen in surprise.

"That was such great aim!" He self-cheers, giggling uncontrollably when the boy grimaces at the flavour intrusion on his taste buds.

"Ok, that was fucking gross." Jungkook scrunches up his face in disgust. "Pepperoni definitely does not go well with pineapple."

Jimin laughs even harder, only pausing to shriek when Jungkook picks up a piece of pepperoni and aims it at his mouth. It bounces off the side of his lips and falls to the ground. He narrows his eyes.

"Oh, you wanna start something huh?" He grins wickedly, already picking pineapple off his pizza.

Jungkook does the same with his pepperoni.

"It's on."

Within seconds, the sounds of their shrieks and laughter reverberate through the empty pizzeria. Far too absorbed with throwing food at each other, they don't notice a pair of eyes watching them through the glass window of the restaurant.

Notes:

if you guys noticed, i've updated the number of chapters planned hehe shall we countdown to the end???

also, is it just me who wants to shake jimin so hard??????

let me know what you guys think in the comments pretty pls (◕ᴗ◕✿)

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 11

Summary:

You see, it was at this moment Jungkook realises he's fucked.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

They develop a routine.

Jimin starts visiting the café almost on a daily basis, on evenings after classes or in the afternoons during the weekends. He would bring his assignments to work on, or read comic books, until the rush of customers dies down and Jungkook would go over to hang out with him. They'd talk then, over muffins and iced lattes, about everything and nothing, a part of the day that's slowly becoming Jungkook's favourite.

Other times, he would find Jimin sitting with Seokjin, the both of them chatting animatedly as their laughter fills the entire room, along with Jungkook's heart. He introduces Jimin to Namjoon, Seokjin's boyfriend, and later on Yoongi, his closest hyung, chasing after the warm fuzzy feeling that fills him with tender affection whenever he sees Jimin with his friends, a picture so perfect it was as if he's the missing puzzle piece, fitting in so perfectly into Jungkook's life.

The other boys welcome Jimin in with eager enthusiasm too, with Seokjin "calling dibs" on the blonde-haired boy and Namjoon doing the scrunchy face thing he always does whenever he finds something— or in this case, someone— cute. Even Yoongi, who Jungkook knows can come off as cold and intimidating to strangers, had been the first one to extend an invitation to Jimin to join them on one of their weekly movie nights at Seokjin and Namjoon's apartment.

"I swear if we're watching another one of your disgustingly sappy romance films again, I'm nope-ing the fuck outta here," Yoongi grunts from where he's lying on the couch, already buried under a massive blanket as he watches Seokjin browse through the romance category on Netflix.

"So many complaints," Seokjin rolls his eyes. "Since when do you even watch the movies anyway? You sleep through most of them."

"I listen to them," Yoongi says. "I don't need to open my eyes to know that there are two people making out on the screen. Although I'm not too sure if the noises are coming from the movie or from you and Namjoon."

Seokjin blushes and Namjoon laughs good-humouredly.

"Hyung, why don't you choose then?" Jungkook interrupts before Seokjin can throw a fit, snatching the remote from him and tossing it onto Yoongi's chest. The elder just stares at the object like its something offensive, making no move to reach for it.

Namjoon sighs, grabbing the remote from Yoongi's chest and hands it to Jimin, who had been watching the entire exchange in an amused silence. "Here," He smiles at Jimin's look of surprise when everyone's attention suddenly falls on him. "Why don't we let Jimin pick a film instead?"

"Um," Jimin blushes shyly. "I'm really fine with anything," He turns to Jungkook for help. "Why don't you pick something, Jungkook-ah?"

Jungkook's heart skips a beat at the way Jimin says his name. "Nah you can pick," He shakes his head, smiling softly. "I think I'll be fine with whatever you choose." He watches the colour on Jimin's cheeks deepen with a weird sense of accomplishment, ignoring the stares on the both of them as he holds eye contact with Jimin.

"... Fuck this," Yoongi snatches the remote. "How many times must I tell you guys I hate sappy shit?" He clicks into the horror category. "Now, let's watch Saw, shall we?"

 

 

Two dismembered bodies and a lot of blood later, Jungkook realises that Jimin was no longer in his seat. He brushes it off, assuming the boy had went to the toilet, and continues watching the movie.

Only ten minutes later, Jimin still hasn't come back. Jungkook frowns, concern filling him as he stands up to go and look for the boy.

He finds Jimin in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with wide eyes and a pale face, sipping on a glass of water.

"Hey," Jungkook calls out, startling the other. "Are you okay?"

Jimin relaxes when he realised it was just Jungkook. "Oh hey," He sighs in relief. "Yeah yeah, I'm fine. Just not a big fan of gory stuff, I guess."

Jungkook chuckles. "You could've said something when Yoongi-hyung suggested the movie you know?" He walks over to lean against the counter right next to Jimin, hoping to comfort him with his presence. "He would've changed it."

"I agreed because you seemed really excited to watch it," Jimin shrugs, oblivious to the way Jungkook's heartbeat quickens at his words. 

"Oh."

"Anyway," Jimin continues, turning slightly to look up at Jungkook through his lashes with a shy smile. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Yoongi-hyung invited you," Jungkook corrects distractedly, enraptured by the way Jimin's eyes disappear into thin lines, cheeks puffing up when he smiles. He's suddenly hyper-aware of their proximity— of how Jimin's arm is pressed up against his own, their hips barely brushing against each other— and Jungkook feels as though he might spontaneously combust.

He wonders if he should be feeling this way— like he's constantly breathless and filled with a sort nervous anticipation (for what? Jungkook doesn't even know) whenever he's alone with Jimin. He thinks not, probably, because friends don't feel this way about each other and Jimin is Jimin and he's not—

"— Jungkook?"

He's not Jungkook's.

"Huh?" He realises he had completely missed what Jimin had said. The thought of he's someone else's lingers at the back of his mind, leaving a bad taste in his mouth.

"I was just saying I've never been as happy as I have been recently," Jimin says, his eyes speaking louder than his words could. "And it's because of you guys," His breath catches. "Because of you."

The tension in the air is electrifying, almost suffocating, and Jungkook trembles with the urge to do something, anything. He wants to reach out to touch Jimin, to hold him, to kiss—

Jimin inches a little closer and Jungkook's mind goes blank. He doesn't think about anything else when he tentatively leans in ever so slowly, eyes fixed on Jimin's reaction, on how the boy's expression remains blank, the only indication that he's feeling anything at all is through the slight tremble of his lips. Jungkook leans in, closer and closer and—

"Woah," Namjoon crashes through the kitchen door, somehow managing to knock a bowl of fruits off the countertop.

Jungkook tears himself away from Jimin in the speed of light, heart racing with shock and confusion.

"Shit," He hears Namjoon curse and watches as the elder bends down to retrieve the fallen fruits only to knock off another, thankfully empty and very plastic, bowl with his butt.

"Kim Namjoon, how many times must I tell you not to enter the kitchen?" They hear Seokjin shout from the living room and Namjoon pales.

"Fuck," He looks up to Jimin and Jungkook for help, only to find the both of them somehow winded and looking anywhere but at each other. He blinks. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No," They both say quickly, looking at each other for a split second before Jimin whips his head away quickly.

"I have to go," Jimin abruptly declares. He hastily straightens up and makes his way out of the kitchen, brushing past a confused Seokjin asking him where he was going. "I'm sorry hyung, but I forgot I had something on," He lies without looking back. The sound of the main door closing rings out only a few seconds later.

"What just happened?" Seokjin demands and Namjoon shrugs from where he's still knelt on the floor, picking up the aftermath of his destruction. They both turn their gazes onto Jungkook.

Jungkook only stares blankly at the spot where Jimin had disappeared, stewing in his own emotional turmoil. Was he just about to— Were they really going to—? He's all at once confused, disappointed, regretful, and terrified.

You see, it was at this moment Jungkook realises he's fucked.

Jimin is not yours. You are not Jimin's.

"Fuck my life."

 

─────

 

His realisation leads him nowhere.

Jimin avoids him for the next couple of days, no longer coming to the café or making an attempt to reach out to him. To be fair, Jungkook doesn't either, too caught up with his newfound feelings that he honestly doesn't know how to deal with.

He likes Jimin— he has always known that— only now he's realising it's the type of like that urges him to make a fool out of himself just to lure a smile out of Jimin. It's the type of like that causes him to hyperventilate whenever the boy smiles or laughs at him. It's the type of like that makes him want to be close to the boy, kiss him, and make him his own.

It's the kind that Jungkook doesn't think he has ever felt before, the kind he only experiences vicariously through what Yoongi would call a "sappy-ass romance barf of bullshit" that Jungkook would never admit he secretly enjoys watching.

It's also the unfair kind— because Jimin is perfect and Jimin is attached and how could Jungkook have forgotten about that fact?

He lets himself entertain the idea that maybe Jimin didn't have a boyfriend, that somehow he was single and unattached— what would he have done? It was so easy to fantasize, considering how Jimin almost never talks about his boyfriend, and spends so much time with Jungkook that he can't but to wonder if Jimin had been lying about being attached. Surely you have to spend time with someone to be dating them right?

That thought leads him to another uncomfortable place that he had been avoiding thinking about. Taehyung.

He feels like an asshole. As ambiguously undefined as their relationship was, Jungkook still feels guilty for what he has almost done. Although they hadn't talked about being monogamous with each other, they were still dating, for months even, and he can't help but to feel like he's betraying Taehyung by falling for someone else.

A second realisation: he never did like Taehyung — at least not in the way he likes Jimin.

As fun and comfortable being with Taehyung had been, Jungkook had never felt so entirely consumed by the boy as he does with Jimin. Taehyung, he realises, felt more like a good friend, a best friend even, to him than a boyfriend. One that he has grown to develop feelings for, platonically it seems, but feelings nevertheless.

"Ugh," He groans loudly, lightly knocking his head on the table, groaning in frustration. What was he going to do now?

"What's wrong?" Yugyeom pokes him lightly with the end of a long dessert spoon. He was obnoxiously digging into a customer's leftover sundae. Jungkook wrinkles his nose in disgust. "Trouble in paradise with a certain blondie?"

Jungkook eyes widened. "How the fuck do you know?" 

Yugyeom scoffs. "Dude, blondie hasn't been here for a few days now and you've been spending the entire time moping around and staring at the entrance like an overly-attached puppy waiting on its owner. How do you think I figure?"

"Am I that obvious?" Jungkook deflates.

"You're easy to read," Yugyeom rolls his eyes. "Now tell me what happened. I live for the drama."

So Jungkook does. He tells Yugyeom everything that has happened, right from the start— about his feelings for Jimin, about how he almost kissed him, about how Jimin's attached and so is he, and that he's guilty of even trying something. He tells him about how he's afraid he ruined their friendship, that Jimin probably hates him now, and that he's scared of losing the boy.

"Well, that's boring." Yugyeom simply says after he's done puking out his feelings.

"What?"

"I said it's not interesting, Kookie," He yawns. "What's the problem here? You like him and he likes you. So what if the both of you have boyfriends? Just break up with them and get together. It's that simple."

Jungkook gapes. "It's not that simple," He retorts. "First off, Jimin doesn't even like me."

"If he didn't like you he would've pushed you away the second you started leaning in for a smooch."

"But he ran away."

Yugyeom stares at him as if he'd suddenly grown two heads. "Ok look," He sighs. "Let's take it one step at a time. You're sure you like him, right?" Jungkook nods and Yugyeom continues. "And you feel guilty because you think you're still dating Taehyung?"

"I am dating him," Jungkook corrects.

"Right," Yugyeom snorts. "Then it's easy— just break up with him first. Then you can think about everything else that's happening with blondie later."

 

─────

 

It's easy to say, but difficult to do, Jungkook thinks as he waits for Taehyung to arrive, the anxiousness eating at him as he paces around his dorm in an attempt to calm himself down.

He'd sent a text message to Taehyung an hour ago, asking the boy to meet him here and that he had something really important to tell him. He had received a simple 'ok' in response around ten minutes ago. Tae should be here anytime soon.

Jungkook's nervous. He hasn't seen Taehyung since their first and last date and he was pretty sure the boy had been avoiding him since then, although he doesn't know why.

The doorbell rings.

Jungkook stills. Do I really want to do this? Fuck fuck fuck. He heads to the door, peeping through the peephole to make sure it's Taehyung before opening it. "Hey," He greets, taking in the sight of the boy for the first time in a long while. He looked good as usual.

"Hi," Taehyung's smile doesn't reach his eyes. Jungkook leads him into the room.

"Um, please sit?" Jungkook gestures at the bed and Taehyung nods, taking a seat at the edge of the mattress. Jungkook pulls his gaming chair from his desk to sit in front of Taehyung. "How are you?" He asks in an attempt to delay the inevitable.

"Fine," Taehyung shrugs, not looking Jungkook in the eye. "You?"

"Good."

"Great."

They fall into silence.

"Ok look," Jungkook takes a deep breath. "I know it's been really weird between us recently, but I asked you to come over because I have something I need to tell you."

"Me too," Taehyung says and Jungkook blinks in surprise. "I have something to tell you too."

"Ok...?" Jungkook frowns. "Do you want to go first then?"

Taehyung shakes his head. "You go first."

Jungkook's heart clenches, the fear returning to him once again as he nods. "I think the both of us have been circling around things for far too long," He clears his throat. "I honestly don't know how you actually feel about me and whether or not we're even properly dating," He pauses. "But I still feel obliged to tell you this."

"I like you, I really do—" Jungkook's voice wavers. He's suddenly scared. What if he loses Taehyung even as a friend? "— But I don't think it's in the way I expected it to be, the way you probably want it to be." He stares at his fidgeting hands on his lap, afraid to look at Taehyung when he continues.

"And t-there's someone else," He says, blinking furiously to keep his tears at bay. "Nothing happened, but I almost kissed him and I just wanted to tell you because I feel guilty and I thought you deserved to know because I do care about you and I don't ever want to hurt—"

A guttural sob stops him. Jungkook finally looks up and sees Taehyung's tear-streaked face, wearing an expression so full of pain that Jungkook's heart clenches painfully, the guilt inside him now overwhelming. "Fuck, Tae, I'm so sor—"

"I have a boyfriend."

Jungkook stills. What? "— What?" He blinks, frowning in confusion. He must have heard wrongly because Taehyung sure as hell hadn't just told him he had a boyfriend, right?

Taehyung breaks down even further, the tears streaming down his face in rivers as he chokes on his sobs. "I-I'm sorry, Jungkook, I-I, fuck, I'm s-so sorry."

"What are you talking about?"

Taehyung doesn't say anything— couldn't say anything— through his sobs, and Jungkook blanches.

The guilt vanishes, replaced by an intense feeling of anger, of betrayal, and he laughs scornfully. "Are you fucking kidding me?" His voice came out low and dangerous. He thinks back to the past few months with Taehyung— to how he had never been to the boy's dorm, to how Taehyung would disappear for hours on end with only feeble excuses, to how he never wants to be in public with Jungkook— and he sees it. How could I not have known? He would have laughed at how stupid he was if it didn't hurt so much.

"Fuck, Taehyung!" He bursts out, standing up so violently his chair rolls back and slams into the table. Taehyung flinches at the sound of the impact. "How could you do this to me?"

"I'm sorry," Taehyung repeats and Jungkook wants to scream. He wants to shake an answer, a reasonable explanation, out of Taehyung, but he knows there's none.

"Does—" Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Does he know?"

Taehyung shakes his head miserably and Jungkook scrunches up his nose in disgust. "Who is he?"

"Please don't tell him," Taehyung begs. "I can't lose him — I love him."

Jungkook ignores how his heart hurts in an odd mix of jealousy and sympathy towards the other party. He lets out a harsh laugh, "You don't do this to the people you love, Tae. Now just tell me who he is because you owe us that much."

Taehyung's lip trembles as he stares pathetically at Jungkook, silently pleading with him to drop the topic. Jungkook is unwavering, staring back with distaste until Taehyung finally relents, dropping his gaze.

"His name is Park Jimin."

Jungkook freezes, his blood running cold. No, it can't be the same Park Jimin, right? There are many Park Jimins in this world. "W-what does he major in?"

"Jungkook plea—"

"Tell me," He spat vehemently. He feels the anger already simmering inside of him, the thought that Jimin doesn't deserve this, not his Jimin, and how could Taehyung hurt him like that? causing his blood to boil.

"He's a dance major."

Jungkook's fist collides with Taehyung's jaw.

 

─────

 

He finds himself running towards a place he has grown familiar with, mind filled with turbulent thoughts and anger for himself— for Jimin.

He enters the building, climbing up the familiar steps, only slowing down when he sees the practice room. A sudden dread fills him as he ponders over what he's going to do. He has to tell Jimin, he knows that, because Taehyung won't and Jimin deserves to know. But Jungkook doesn't want to hurt him, the mere thought of Jimin hurting when he finds out the truth causing Jungkook's heart to ache.

He hesitates as he stands outside the slightly ajar door, collecting his scattered thoughts to form a more rational one. "Ok, just tell him the truth," He mutters to himself. "That's what he deserves."

He's about to push through the door when he hears Hoseok's voice coming from inside.

"— and what exactly do you think you're doing?"

Jungkook pauses, thinking it was directed to him for a second when he hears Jimin's voice. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw the both of you, ok? Laughing in some restaurant like you're the best of friends. What the fuck, Jimin? What are you trying to do now?"

"I'm not trying to do anything!" Jimin sounded frustrated.

"Look, I've been accommodating to your stupid ideas for far too long. First, you tell me you want to become more like Jungkook, then you spend the entire time hating on him and treating him badly, and now you're acting all chummy with him?"

He frowns when he realises they were talking about him.

"I honestly don't know what you're trying to do now, but you've got to stop using Jungkook to try and win Taehyung back."

Jungkook's heart drops. What? He takes a step backwards, accidentally bumping into a passer-by who steadies him. "Woah, are you okay?" The stranger asks in concern, drawing Hoseok and Jimin's attention towards them.

"... Jungkook?" Jimin's eyes were wide, filled with fear, and Jungkook backs away when he tries to take a step forward.

"Tell me it's not true," He croaks out, voice breaking on the last note.

"Jungkook-ah, I can explain—" Jimin sounded desperate, terrified, and Jungkook feels his heart break into a million pieces.

"I don't want to hear it, hyung," It comes out as a broken whisper. "I'm done."

He runs away before Jimin could hurt him further.

Notes:

(slowly slinks back into a corner and pretend i don't know anything) (´•̥̥̥ ‸ •̥̥̥`✿)

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 12

Notes:

sorry for the long wait!! i'm finally free from my hellhole of school and stuff yay *celebrates*

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Fuck. That was the first thought that ran through Jimin's head.

The look of pure, unadulterated hurt on Jungkook's face seared into the back of his mind, leaving only a ghost of the boy's devastation behind as he abruptly turns to leave.

No! was his second thought.

"Jungko— wait!" The panic swirling inside Jimin morphs into a desperate sense of urgency as he chases after him. The sound of Jungkook's hasty footsteps and Jimin's own attempts at keeping up with it echo loudly down the stairwell until they dissipate in the open air outside.

"Fuck, will you just stop and let me explain?" He manages to grab hold of Jungkook's arm and the boy swivels around so quickly Jimin almost crashes into his chest.

"Fine," Jungkook spat and Jimin is surprised to find tears streaking down his face. "Explain then."

 "I—" The words don't come out no matter how hard Jimin wills them to.

"You knew all along," Jungkook lets out a bitter laugh, face contorted with anguish and despondent realisation as he puts the pieces together in Jimin's silence. "Hoseok-hyung was right," His voice cracks. "You're just using me."

"I was," Jimin corrects, desperation lacing his voice. "I first approached you because I— I was— I wanted to know who you were," He stumbles over his words. "I didn't plan on using you. I just wanted to watch you from afar to understand why Tae liked you but then you came into my life and—" He pauses. And what? 

He chooses his words carefully. "What we have isn't a lie," He desperately needed Jungkook to know that.

"And what exactly do we have? Friendship?" Jungkook scoffs. "Do you really think we are friends, Jimin?"

Jimin opens his mouth to claim that they are friends but snaps it shut when he realises how absurd it sounds. "... Aren't we?"

"I don't know, does any of this even make sense to you?"

"If this is about Taehyu—"

"It's not about Taehyung," Jungkook snaps and the venom in his voice catches Jimin so off-guard he visibly recoils. He can't help but feel hurt even though he knows he probably deserves this. "This is about you and me and how absolutely fucked up this whole situation is thanks to you."

It always hurts a little less if he lets the anger take over so that's what Jimin does. He explodes.

"How is any of this my fault? I didn't fucking ask to be cheated on! What do you want me to do?" He wants to cry out of frustration. For the first time in a long while, he feels the resentment he once felt for Jungkook barreling back at full-force. "I didn't ask for you to appear in my life. If anything, you're the one who ruined things. Without you, Tae and I would have been fine and none of this would have happened and I wouldn't have started—" Falling for you.

Jimin inhales sharply, shocked by his own thoughts. What the fuck?

"Even if Taehyung hadn't cheated on you with me, he would've eventually done so with someone else. The problem is not with me, Jimin, it's with him, and you, and your relationship," The anger drained out of Jungkook's voice, leaving only resignation behind. "So don't push the blame on me just because you can't accept the fact that he doesn't love you."

He might as well have cut Jimin with a knife if it'd hurt less. "Fuck you," He spat. "What do you know about love? You don't know what Tae and I have been through, you don't know our history, and you don't know us."

"Sure, I don't know your history and maybe I don't even know the both of you the way I thought I did," Jungkook smiles sadly. "But what I know, Jimin, is that you don't cheat on the people you love, nor do you lie or keep things from them."

He walks away and Jimin doesn't stop him this time.

 

─────

  

When Jimin returns to the dorm almost an hour later after a long walk for a much-needed breather to think through things, he is greeted by a black-eyed Taehyung tensely perched on the foot of the bed. A mess would be an accurate description of how he looked— with one eye swelled shut, the other red-rimmed as evidence of an earlier breakdown. And maybe if Jimin weren't so numb, he'd have felt something.

Instead, he stares blankly back at him. "What happened?" He already knows.

Taehyung shakes his head, chin trembling, but says nothing.

Jimin is tired of waiting. "Why?" He asks, voice devoid of emotion. He's numb and so fucking tired. "Why, Tae? Am I not enough for you?"

It triggers something.

"No, fuck, no, Jimin— no," Taehyung's face crumples up. "It was a mistake. A terrible, horrible, mistake that I realised far too late. I didn't want to hurt you, Minnie, I— Fuck, I was going to end things with him and tell you the truth but—"

"I knew from the start," Jimin interrupts with a detached laugh and Taehyung blanches.

"W-what?" It was barely audible through his whisper but Jimin hears it. He hears the horror, fear, guilt, and regret in the other's voice. "Fuck Jimin, why didn't you say anything?" Taehyung sounded absolutely wrecked and Jimin wishes he could say he didn't feel the same.

He huffs. "What do you want me to say? Hey Tae, I found out you've been cheating on me with someone else so could you maybe please stop? Is that it?" Jimin laughs incredulously. "Or maybe I should have said fuck you and left because that's what normal people would've done but—" He pauses to catch his breath.

"— I'm not normal, Tae." He doesn't know when the tears started falling but he could taste them on his lips. "Do you know how I felt when I found out? I thought I was the one who had done something wrong— that I wasn't good enough for you anymore and you were going to leave me for someone better," Someone like Jeon Jungkook. "And I was fucking scared."

Taehyung looks how Jimin feels — miserable, sad, and full of regrets. He's an ugly reflection of himself and Jimin can't stand looking at him.

He looks away. "I didn't want to lose you back then because you were— are— all I have," He lets out a shaky breath. "But if all I have is someone who hurts, betrays, and lies to me like this," His entire body was trembling now as he meets eyes with Taehyung again.

"Then I rather not have anyone at all."

The pain isn't any less than he imagined it would be whenever he pictured how this scenario was going to play out. It hurts, maybe even more than he'd anticipated, to let Taehyung go. But what he hadn't expected was the tremendous relief it brought him.

"I never wanted to hurt you," Taehyung sounded like a broken record as he sobs. He was falling apart and Jimin could only watch.

"But you did it anyway," It held no venom, only defeat and disappointment. He wonders, not for the first time, if he could've kept Taehyung if they only remained friends.

"The problem is not with me, Jimin, it's with him, and you, and your relationship."

Jungkook's words haunted him.

"I just want to know, Tae, what went so wrong with us that you had to do this to me?"

He waits for an answer, a reasonable explanation, a justification, something— anything— that would make it less of mistake and more of something he could rationalise and accept.

Taehyung shakes his head miserably. "I don't know, Jimin, I don't know."

Maybe there isn't going to be an answer for everything.

 

─────

 

Jimin is truly alone now.

Taehyung had left shortly after their breakup, packing up a few of his belongings and saying he would go stay with a friend so Jimin can have the dorm by himself. Jimin agreed, because where else can he go? He had no other friends. Jungkook was gone, which meant Seokjin, Namjoon and Yoongi were gone too. Jimin's heart pangs at the thought of them finding out from Jungkook what he had done. They probably hate him now for hurting the boy and— no, Jimin can't think about that, it's too much.

He focuses on the walls instead, studying the dust that has been gathering on the surface. He should really get to cleaning the room but he doesn't want to move from where he's lying on the bed. Why is the room so big? It's strange how the same place he once complained was too cramped and tiny suddenly seemed unnecessarily large to him now.

Jimin had spent the last couple of days moping around, missing classes and practices, whatever motivation within himself thrown out the door Taehyung had left. Oddly enough, it wasn't Taehyung he thought about most of the time nor was it Taehyung who he hoped was the one calling every time his phone rings. Like now.

He snatches the ringing phone off the beside table, shoulders sagging in disappointment when he sees Taemin's caller ID on the screen. He stares at it blankly for a full minute until it stops ringing and the screen fades to black again.

It wasn't Jungkook.

It wasn't Jungkook, who he once hated with an intense passion.

It wasn't Jungkook, who was only ever kind and honest to him.

It wasn't Jungkook, who he hadn't been honest with.

It wasn't Jungkook, who he hated himself for hurting.

It wasn't Jungkook, who had somehow managed to invade into Jimin's life, thoughts, mind, and heart.

Jimin has no idea when he stopped seeing Jungkook as the enemy, let himself open up to the boy and develop feelings for him, but he's not going to deny it. He's so tired of being in denial and for once, he just wants to live honestly. It scares him, however, because honestly, he doesn't know what to make of these feelings towards Jungkook.

He likes the boy, maybe a little more than he should, just enough for it to be considered fucked up.

The doorbell rings and Jimin startles out of his thoughts. He stares at the door warily, knowing there's only one person it could be and does he really want to face Taehyung right now? He contemplates on just pretending not to be home when the person calls out.

"Open up, I know you're in there Jimin-ah!"

Seokjin-hyung?

Jimin blinks. How did he find him?

The doorbell kept ringing in an annoyingly familiar tune and Jimin sighs as he reluctantly gets up and heads for the door. He briefly entertains the possibility that Seokjin was here to reprimand him or maybe punch him even, but opens it anyway. He's immediately greeted with a familiar brown paper bag from Mean Bean Café in front of his face.

"I brought muffins," Seokjin grins as he lowers the bag and Jimin can't resist returning a small smile as he opens the door wider to let him in.

He gestures for Seokjin to take a seat on his makeshift sofa of stacked pillows with a blanket haphazardly thrown over them.

"How do you know where I live?" Jimin asks as he offers him a soda from his mini refrigerator. He takes a seat next to Seokjin and watches as he delicately removes the muffins from the paper bag.

"Joonie has connections," Seokjin shrugs as he hands over a banana muffin to him. Jimin accepts it graciously. When was the last time he ate something?

"But why are you here?"

"Do I need a reason to be here?"

"No, it's not that," Jimin mutters, idly playing with the paper wrapped around the muffin. Seokjin takes it from him to remove it before placing it back into his hands. "Eat," He orders gently.

Jimin takes a bite and Seokjin nods approvingly. "Look, I'm here because of what happened, yes," He admits and Jimin's heart drops. "I wanted to make sure you're okay."

What? Jimin realises he said it out loud when Seokjin smiles a little. "But— I— Jungkook— Did he tell you what happened?"

"Yes," Seokjin nods. "That's why I'm here. Listen, Jungkook can be a little harsh with his words sometimes but that's just because he's angry. He doesn't mean the shit he says half the time whenever he gets bratty so—"

"No," Jimin interrupts, confusion overtaking his manners. "Hyung, why are you siding me?"

"I'm not siding you," Seokjin blinks. "I'm not siding anyone for that matter. I'm here as a friend, to check on how you're doing and to comfort you with muffins."

"But you're Jungkook's friend."

Seokjin's face darkens. "Is that how you really see me? As Jungkook's friend? Am I not a friend to you?"

"Of course you are," Jimin hastily corrects. "I just thought— I don't know— that you guys would take Jungkook's side since you knew him longer and..." He trails off, heart sinking at the disappointment on Seokjin's face.

"Friendship isn't measurable by time, Jimin-ah, and if you believe that I'm going to abandon you just because you and Jungkook had a rift then I don't know what to say."

"I'm sorry," Jimin mumbles and maybe Seokjin could tell from the tremble of his voice but he pulls Jimin in right before he breaks out into tears.

"It's okay," Seokjin soothes him, rubbing a comforting hand up and down Jimin's back as he sobs even harder. "Just cry it out, you'll feel much better I promise."

And so he does.

 

 

When all his tears dried up twenty minutes later, Jimin pulls back from Seokjin's arms, feeling much lighter. He grimaces at the dark patch of tears he'd left on Seokjin's dress shirt and sniffs out an apology.

"It's fine, it only costs like two hundred bucks anyway."

Jimin's eyes widen and Seokjin laughs. "I'm kidding, it was only fifteen bucks at a thrift store. Those designer labels ain't getting me. Not today."

Jimin breaks into a genuine smile but doesn't say anything. He's still caught up with the fact that Seokjin is here and Seokjin doesn't hate him and Seokjin is Jimin's friend too. He would've started crying again if he thought he had any tears left.

"Are you okay though?" Seokjin's tone got serious as he looks at Jimin with concern. "I hope you don't mind that Jungkook told me everything but are you still with this Taehyung guy?"

Jimin shakes his head. "No, we broke up."

"I'm glad. He's an asshole and he doesn't deserve you, Jimin-ah, I hope you know that."

"I'm no better," Jimin smiles sadly. "I lied, hurt and betrayed Jungkook too and in that same sense, what makes me any different from Taehyung?"

Seokjin frowns. "He did it knowing he had everything to lose. You did it trying to protect everything you thought you were going to lose. That's the difference."

"But Jungkook doesn't deserve this," Jimin thinks about Jungkook, who had been played by both Taehyung and him, the true epitome of innocence in a game he probably never wanted to be a part of. "Tae hurt him. I hurt him. I'm so sorry for hurting him."

"I won't lie Jimin," Seokjin takes his hand. "When I first found out from Jungkook, I was livid, trust me. I thought, how could you do this to him? He trusted you— I trusted you— and how could you play us like that?"

Jimin opens his mouth to say something but Seokjin shushes him.

"Do you know what Jungkook said?" He continues and Jimin shakes his head, fearful yet curious. "He said 'don't blame him too much, hyung. I understand why he did what he did because maybe I can understand how he feels for Taehyung.'"

Jimin's heart stops. "He loves Taehyung?"

"No, Jimin, he loves you."

 

─────

 

Jimin finds himself standing in front of Jungkook's dorm room a few hours later with the address Seokjin gave him. He had been reluctant when Jimin asked for it, despite him being all for them making up.

"Maybe you should give each other a few days to process things," Seokjin had suggested with a fear that they were somehow going to worsen things.

Jimin doesn't know what else he could do that would further worsen the situation.

"I'm not going to do anything hyung," He assures the elder. "I just want to apologise to him." He really needed to.

Jimin musters up all his courage and presses the doorbell.

He shifts on his feet nervously when he hears footsteps approaching until they stop right on the other side of the door. There's a moment of pause where nothing happens and Jimin panics when he realises Jungkook probably saw him through the peephole and what if he doesn't open the door and—

The door swings open.

Jimin's breath catches at the sight of Jungkook. He looks gorgeous, as always, but his eyes were devoid of the usual light in it and he looks both weary and wary. "What are you doing here?" He asks, and though it hadn't came out as cold as Jimin had expected, it still hurt.

"Can I come in?" Jimin's voice was small, filled with hope and uncertainty.

Jungkook hesitates, looking as though he might slam the door into Jimin's face for a second before relenting and stepping aside.

Jimin relaxes a little. He steps inside and Jungkook closes the door behind him while he studies the interior. It's very much like Jungkook, he thinks as he takes in the simple yet stylish decor of the room. As hard as he tried not to think about it, he can't help but to picture Taehyung and Jungkook in this very room and the kind of things they probably had done here.

"Why are you here?" Jungkook asks again, drawing Jimin's attention back to where he's now casually leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, studying him with intense, unreadable eyes. It sends a shiver down Jimin's spine, his pulse quickening under Jungkook's heady gaze.

He clears his throat and averts his eyes in an attempt to seem unaffected. "I came to apologise," He starts. "I said things I didn't mean the other day when I blamed you," He swallows. "You were right, none of this is your fault. I was stupid and weak and I needed someone to blame so I blamed you. From the very start, I saw you as no more than the guy who was going to steal Taehyung away from me and—" 

Jimin collects himself before continuing. "I never expected you to come into my life and when you did, I did everything I could to try and stay away from you. But it's hard—" He stubbornly blinks back the tears. "I found myself liking you and we started talking more and before I knew it, it was almost impossible to stay away."

He sighs. "I knew you had no idea of what was going on and I took advantage of it. I'm sorry Jungkook-ah, I should have told you, especially after you opened up to me about your mother and I—"

Jimin freezes when he feels himself get pulled into a warm chest. Jungkook's arms wrap around him and he forgets how to breathe.

"That's not why I'm mad," Jimin feels the low vibrations of each word reverberating through Jungkook's chest against his cheek when he speaks. "I can't even begin to imagine how you would have felt back then. I'm just pissed because—"

He doesn't continue and they fall into silence.

The silence drags on and in it, Jimin becomes aware of their proximity and the compromising position they were in.

He's standing right between Jungkook's legs, his entire body pressed against the other's front with arms securely locking him in place. Jimin can feel every curve of Jungkook's muscular frame where they're pressed together, the heat radiating off the boy's skin scalding his own through their thin clothing.

It ignites a fire in his gut that he has not felt in awhile and Jimin's entire body trembles along with his rapidly quickening heartbeat.

There must have been an obvious change to the tension in the air because Jimin feels the exact moment Jungkook senses it too when his entire body goes rigid against him. He presses Jungkook a little further into the wall when he feels the boy try to move.

"Jimin," His name comes out low and raspy, meant as a warning, but it only further provoked the fire in his gut.

Jimin finally raises his head, locking eyes with Jungkook, watching with a sick sense of satisfaction as Jungkook's pupils dilate with the need Jimin feels. He watches as the boy's tongue darts out to wet his lips and his gaze remains there even after it's gone.

He's hyper-aware of the large hands resting on his lower back, grip loosened but still there and he needs, he needs, he needs.

"Why are you pissed, Jungkook-ah?" Jimin asks softly, taking Jungkook by surprise if the way his mouth parts open is any indication. When he doesn't receive a response in reply, he redirects his gaze back to Jungkook's own to discover an intense longing mixed with sadness in it. Jimin's hand rises to cup his cheek, trying to chase away that sadness, his own heart aching with it.

He loves you.

Jungkook's hands fall away from his lower back, one of them coming up to move Jimin's own away from his face. He doesn't let go of it, however. "I'm pissed because it's you," He breathes out. "Because you're you and you're not mine and why do you have to—"

Jimin presses his lips onto Jungkook's.

Notes:

anw i've been receiving a lot of nice comments, tweets, DMs, etc from you guys and i just really wanted to say i appreciate every single one of them!! it makes me really happy so thank you all ♡

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 13

Notes:

hello i wrote a new jikook story so do check out that one out too if you're interested!!

link --- invisible lines

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Jimin wonders if he had gotten it all wrong.

The second his lips touch Jungkook’s, he feels the boy’s body go entirely rigid against him. He is unresponsive— even when Jimin puts a little pressure into the kiss, plump lips trying to coax a reaction out of him— without success.

Jungkook’s body tells a different story, however, the tension radiating off him in waves, muscles trembling in a barely concealed effort to remain still.

Jimin desperately needs to see him lose control.

He whines into the kiss, high-pitched and deliberate, barely grazing his teeth against the younger’s bottom lip.

It does the trick.

Jungkook lets out a low growl, roughly pulling Jimin in closer— even closer— until there’s not an inch of space left between them. Jimin hears himself moan, the pleasure and relief of finally having Jungkook’s lips moving against his sending tremors down his spine.

There’s nothing soft or slow about the kiss. It’s rough, more demanding than anything— and it’s everything Jimin needs.

He hadn’t even realised how entirely consuming lust can be. Jimin wants to get lost in it, wants to take, take, and take. It’s almost as if he’s been deprived. Jungkook is the only person besides Taehyung that Jimin had kissed and no, he’s not going to think about Taehyung now.

His fingers trace up Jungkook’s spine, tickling the back of his neck before entangling with the thick mop of soft brown hair. He experimentally tugs on it lightly, earning a low moan from Jungkook. Satisfied, he tugs again, rougher this time, his other hand creeping underneath the boy’s shirt, caressing bare skin.

“F-fuck, we should stop,” Jungkook tries to say between kisses, a palm resting on Jimin's chest with all intents of pushing him away, but doesn't act on it. Jimin ignores him in favour of grazing his teeth lightly against Jungkook's jaw.

“Stop,” It comes out more resolute this time as Jungkook gives a feeble push, managing to put some distance between them.

Jimin chases away that distance as soon as it comes.

“Don't you want me?” He whispers breathlessly, feeling his lips brush against Jungkook's with each word, their ragged breaths mingling in the almost non-existent space between them.

“Jimin,” Jungkook sounded absolutely wrecked, borderline pleading as Jimin moves on to his neck, marking the delicate skin there. “Please don't do this.”

“What am I doing, Jungkook-ah?” Jimin kisses the corner of his lips, jaw, up his cheeks— all the while sliding a hand down his chest until it finds his belt. He hooks one finger underneath the strap of leather, roughly pulling Jungkook’s lower body flush against his own, revelling in the low whine he receives in response.

Jungkook is saying something Jimin doesn't hear, a feral sort of desire clouding his mind as he fumbles with the buckle of the boy's belt, peppering wet kisses all over his face.

“Please don't make me your rebound.”

It might have been the wretchedness of Jungkook's voice when he says it— or perhaps it was the sudden wetness on his cheeks when Jimin kisses it that sent warning bells ringing over his head— but he stills almost immediately. He pulls back slowly, almost tentatively, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he takes in the sight of the other boy.

Jungkook is beautiful— even with tears streaming down his blotchy cheeks, red lips kissed swollen, neck painted with hickeys— he's a sculpted masterpiece awaiting the harbinger of destruction and misfortune that is Park Jimin.

Jimin's heart pangs at the misery swimming in Jungkook's eyes. He did that.

“You're not a rebound.” Even to his own ears, his attempt at convincing the both of them otherwise comes out uncertain.

“Why do I not believe that?”

Jungkook is still staring at him with those sad, sad eyes and Jimin can no longer bear it. It’s too suffocating. Dropping his gaze, he hastily untangles himself from the boy. He needs to get out of here.

“I'm so sorry.”

He bolts out of the room. The door slams loudly behind him.

 

 

It’s hard to breathe.

It was as if Jungkook had punctured a hole in Jimin’s lungs, stealing all of his air and leaving him gasping for a breath that’s no longer there. The world around him spins and his vision blurs, the tears making it almost impossible for him to see where he’s going. His body seems to know; running on autopilot, his feet thudding loudly against the gravel in quick footsteps. He needs to get away. From Jungkook. From Taehyung. From everything .

His mind is a whirring jumble of thoughts, not a single one of them dominant enough to be coherent. The ground is shaking. No, that can’t be right. He’s the one who is shaking. His body quakes. His hands shake. His lips tremble.

Lips. Lips that had touched Jungkook’s lips.

Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook.

Jimin has finally fucked up the one good thing that has happened to him.

It’s getting harder to breathe.

He’s aware that he has stopped crying now, his sobs replaced with painful dry heaves instead as he suffocates on his unshed tears. It hurts. Why won’t they just let him cry?

You need to breathe.

Breathe, Jimin, you need to—

“— Breathe.”

Hands on his back. Up. Down. Up. Down. Circling.

“Fuck Jimin, breathe in with me alright?”

In. Out. Inhale. Exhale.

“There, there, that’s good. You’re doing great.”

Air. A gasp of breath. The familiar smell of citrus and wood. Hoseok-hyung?

Jimin looks up, eyes wild and unfocused as he belatedly registers his surroundings. When had he arrived at the practice room? He doesn’t recall entering the building.

“Hey look at me,” A gentle but firm order directs his attention back to the pure worry on Hoseok’s face. “Take a deep breath for me alright?”

He nods and does as instructed. For a few minutes, it’s just the both of them silently breathing. The oxygen helps, already starting to clear his head; chasing away the remnants of his meltdown. His hands still shake, reduced to a slight tremble now, and his rapid heartbeat slows to a steady pace.

“What happened?” Hoseok finally asks, still wearing a face of concern. Jimin hates himself for always having to burden him like that. He’s not Hoseok’s baggage to carry.

“I’m fine. It’s no—”

“If you try to tell me it’s nothing I swear to god I’ll—” Hoseok releases a highly frustrated sigh and Jimin’s eyes widens at the barely-concealed anger in his voice. “God Jimin, why can’t you just trust me for once?”

Jimin frowns. “I do trust you, hyung.”

“Then let me in.” Hoseok’s lips are downturned and Jimin wonders just how many people he’s going to hurt today.

“I fucked up. I fucked up real bad.”

 

 

“And you just left him like that?”

Jimin nods miserably. Now that he has calmed down enough to have rational thoughts, he’s starting to wonder if he had made a poor decision leaving Jungkook all alone, upset and crying. If he hadn’t already fucked things up before that, then he sure as hell has now.

“He thinks I’m using him as a rebound.”

“And you’re not?”

Jimin furrows his brows. “No,” He blinks. “I actually like him, hyung.”

“Do you really?” Hoseok raises a brow. “I mean it’s only been a few days since you broke up with Taehyung and the minute you find out Jungkook has feelings for you, you go straight into his arms—” He blinks. “Forgive me for being blunt Jimin, but I think you only like the idea of him and what he provides. His love, his friends, and his companionship.”

“That’s not true,” Jimin denies, shaking his head wildly. It’s not true.

Hoseok looks unimpressed, adding to Jimin’s confusion. “Listen, I’m going to play the bad guy here for a minute okay?” He sighs. “You want to know what I think? I think you’re lonely, Jimin. You have a really, really, twisted view on how relationships and friendships should work and honestly, I get it, seeing how you and Taehyung were best friends before you became lovers. You’ve never found a need to make friends beyond him, so you push away anyone who tries, myself included—”

“Hyung—”

“Shh,” Hoseok shushes him gently. “But now that Taehyung’s gone, you’re left with neither friends nor a lover,” Ouch, Jimin thinks. “And Jungkook presents you with both. His friends. His love. It’s a convenient replacement.”

“It’s not like that,” Jimin says, frustration creeping into his voice. “Jungkook, he… He makes me happy.”

“Because he treats you well?”

“Because he’s him,” Jimin corrects. If there’s one thing he’s sure of, it’s the fact that he’s certain of his feelings for Jungkook. “Because he hates pineapple on pizza with a passion and thinks Seagull is an appropriate name somehow. Because his eyes crinkle at the corners and his nose scrunches up when he smiles. Because he’s Jungkook , hyung, and I really like him.”

Hoseok is silent for a while before he nods. “Okay.”

What? “What?”

He softens. “I’m not trying to invalidate or discourage your feelings for him Jimin-ah,” He says. “I wasn’t saying you can’t genuinely like the boy. My point is, if that’s the way see things— how do you think Jungkook feels?”

Jimin’s stomach churns. The image of a tear-streaked Jungkook flashes in his head.

“But what can I do?” He croaks out miserably. He has already fucked things up beyond repair and the damage seems irreversible now.

Hoseok places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Let him heal,” He says. “ Let yourself heal. The both of you have been through so much and now’s just not the right time for anything.”

Jimin feels like crying. “But—” But what? He’s going to miss him? He doesn’t want to let go? It’s laughable— Jungkook was never his to begin with.

“Prove it to Jungkook, and yourself, that your feelings for him go beyond your loneliness, beyond searching for someone that would replace Taehyung.”

“Show him you can have everything you need, but still want him.”

 

─────

 

Jimin’s first friend isn’t Taehyung. It’s a chubby-cheeked five-year-old boy with bright eyes and even brighter smiles named Seungjae. He had called Jimin his best friend one day when the latter offered him his banana milk after his own got split, and the title stuck until they were both eight and Jimin got replaced by another boy whose name he never cared to remember. What he does remember is being devastated— crying for weeks and weeks until his mother eventually got tired of comforting him and decided she’d arrange a playdate for him with a few other kids, in hopes he would make new friends.

Jimin never did. He was too shy. Too introverted, fearing rejection a little too much. He spoke only when directly spoken to, which wasn’t that often considering the kids seemed to come to a conclusion pretty quickly that Jimin was a ‘loser’ and preferred to spout nasty things behind his back.

He hears what they say about him, but doesn’t do anything to stop them. Instead, Jimin tells his mother that night with a large smile plastered on his face that he’s made  not one, but four! new friends and that she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore.

So the playdates continue.

And on the ninety-eighth date, Taehyung joins them.

As usual, Jimin had been alone in the corner of the room while the other kids were building ships out of Legos, Taehyung being invited to join them. Rather than doing just that, the boy had taken one look at Jimin and asked why the others were excluding him. When they told him Jimin was a weirdo, a loser with no friends, he declared loudly it’s no longer going to be true because he’s going to be Jimin’s friend.

Taehyung becomes his second friend that day— and Jimin had never found a need to befriend anyone else after him.

So he stopped trying.

And now it’s hard to start again.

 

 

It starts with a simple, “Can I join you guys?”

It’s just five words, really, a simple sentence that shouldn’t have to take that much courage to say, or caused that much anxiety to eat at him as he waits for a response. It also shouldn’t have caused his friends to look upon him as if he had suddenly grown a second head.

The insecurities come back. “It’s okay if you guys don’t want—”

“Of course not!”

“Are you kidding me?”

“What are you talking about? You’re obviously welcome to join us anytime.”

Suddenly it’s a mess of people talking over people and Jimin blushes in embarrassment at the center of the attention. He spares a quick glance at Hoseok, who was already watching him with a proud smile on his face. Jimin feels his heart warm and gives a small smile in return.

“God, I’m sorry Jimin. We would’ve included you in our plans but we had always assumed your weekends were reserved for your boyfriend so…” Jongin trails off apologetically.

Jimin hastily shakes his head. “No no, it’s fine! I was the one who told you guys that so it’s my fault, really—” He hesitates. “Also, Taehyung and I have broken up.”

He’s not sure what kind of reactions he expected to receive but a shocked silence is what he gets.

Taemin is the first to break it. “Shit babe, what happened?” He moves in to give Jimin a half-shoulder hug. “Are you okay?”

Jimin comes to a realisation that he has never told his friends anything about what’s been going on with Taehyung. He hesitates, shifting on his feet uncomfortably.

“Hey, it’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it,” Taemin says quietly just for him to hear. “Just know that we’ll always be here whenever you’re ready to share okay?”

Maybe Jimin wasn’t so alone after all.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Jimin finds himself working towards a semblance of a normal life again. One that he’s definitely not used to, but also slowly growing to accept and be comfortable with.

He more often than not finds himself hanging out with his dancer friends, letting them drag him to bowling alleys, movie theatres, and the occasional party on a Friday night. He spends more time with them in the span of three weeks than he’d ever spent with them over the last three years, and for the first time, Jimin truly sees how shitty of a friend he had been— if he could even have considered himself one.

Hanging out with them is a lot more fun than he had expected it would be and Jimin slowly finds himself smiling a lot more, laughing a lot more, and generally being happier with them.

On other days, he would find himself lounging on the couch with Seokjin at his and Namjoon’s apartment. Jimin had given in and called him a week after the incident, the doubts that had prevented him from doing so earlier finally overpowered when Jimin realises just how much he missed the elder.

Seokjin had been welcoming. In no time, the both of them fall into a comfortable routine of talking, bickering, playing video games, or going out to eat. Occasionally Namjoon would be there— Yoongi on rarer occasions— but never Jungkook.

They don’t talk about Jungkook. Seokjin tells Jimin lames joke that would send him toppling over, laughing until his cheeks hurt, and Jimin tells Seokjin about how he couldn’t manage to knock over a single bowling pin even after three consecutive tries.

Jimin doesn’t tell Seokjin it’s only because he got distracted by a guy wearing a leather jacket that reminded him of Jungkook.

He doesn’t tell Seokjin how much he fucking misses Jungkook.

(And if he occasionally finds himself missing Taehyung, he would never tell)

It’s fine though, because Jimin finds himself settling in with the bunch of them and even though he doesn’t think they could ever fill the hole Jungkook and Taehyung had left, Jimin’s heart is no longer empty— and it’s okay for now.

He’s slowly getting there.

 

─────

 

5 months later

 

“Shit, fuck, shit!”

“Fucking Kim Namjoon I swear to god I’ll cut his balls off.”

“Ouch,” Jimin blinks blearily. “What did Namjoon-hyung do this time to deserve that?” He asks with a yawn, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He had just been awoken by Seokjin’s phone call and well, that is one hell of a morning call.

“Oh morning Minnie,” Jimin hears Seokjin say. “I’m sorry for waking you but it’s a code-red emergency and I need your help.”

Jimin frowns. “What is it?”

“I asked my stupid boyfriend last night to help me upload the file containing my lecture slides into the thumb drive and guess what that fucking idiot uploaded? A folder full of his gross-ass porn stash and— hey stop laughing, it’s not even funny!”

Jimin doesn’t even attempt to pretend he’s not rolling in bed cackling like a mad person. He thinks if he could give Namjoon and Seokjin’s love life a genre, it would definitely be rom-com with huge emphasis on the com part.

“Thank god I was planning to go through the slides beforehand— Fuck, can you imagine what would have happened otherwise?”

Jimin wipes away his tears. “Shit, I’m sorry but that’s hilarious. Anyway, what do you need me to do?”

“Can you go over to my apartment and email me the slides from my laptop? The lecture is starting in twenty minutes and I’m freaking out.”

“Don’t worry hyung, you can count on me.”

Jimin arrives at Seokjin’s apartment within eight minutes.

He pauses outside for a moment to take an ugly selfie, sending it to Seokjin with an i’m an angel who’s here to save u text. He clicks his tongue, satisfied when the elder immediately responds with a you’re a fairy i love u .

Letting himself in with the passcode Seokjin had texted him, he heads straight towards the bedroom where he knows the elder keeps his laptop. After all, Jimin has been here countless times within the past few months and it’s almost like a second home to him now.

He hums cheerfully as he skips into the bedroom, only to come to an abrupt stop when he realises there’s already someone else in there, bent over the desk and clicking away on the laptop.

Jimin’s heart stops along with his feet when recognises the familiar figure.

“Jungkook?” He calls out, almost breathlessly.

He watches as Jungkook tenses up at the sound of his name on Jimin’s lips, and it’s almost like a scene out of a drama— Jimin holding his breath as Jungkook slowly lifts his head, straightening his back before turning to face him.

Their eyes meet and Jimin feels his heart kick-start again, going straight into hyperdrive. The blood pounded in his ears as he sets eyes on Jungkook for the first time in months. He’s still fucking gorgeous.

“Jimin.”

“Jungkook.”

Jungkook’s eyes are unreadable, more closed-off than he remembers them ever being. Jimin takes in the sight of him like a man in a desert, greedily drinking in every little detail of the boy and committing it to memory. The last time he saw Jungkook, the boy had been crying— because of him. Jimin desperately needs to get rid of that image.

He has so many things he wants to say. I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m in love with you.

Instead, he asks dazedly. “What are you doing here?”

“Namjoon-hyung asked me for a favour,” Jungkook shrugs. “You?”

Oh fuck.

“Shit,” Jimin’s eyes widened as he remembers his purpose for being here. He rushes towards the laptop without a mind, cursing when he notes there’s barely minutes left before Seokjin’s class starts. “Fuck.”

Jungkook clears his throat. “I’ve already sent Jin-hyung the lecture slides if that’s what you’re worried about.”

A wave of relief rushes over Jimin. Thank god. His shoulders slumps and he turns to reply but the words get caught in his throat when he realises how close they were standing.

Jungkook is staring at him, an intensity present in those brown eyes and Jimin suddenly feels self-conscious in his wrinkled pajamas, unkempt bed-hair, and glasses too large for his face.

He clears his throat. “I didn’t know Seokjin-hyung asked you to help him too.”

“It wasn’t him. Namjoon-hyung called me to tell me he fucked up and asked me to make sure Jin-hyung gets the correct file or else.” He makes a cut-throat gesture.

Jimin can’t help smiling. “That’s Namjoon-hyung for you,” He comments affectionately. “Fucks up but makes up for his mistakes.”

“More like he fucks up and I help him make up for his wrongdoings,” Jungkook rolls his eyes but he’s smiling too. He’s smiling and Jimin can’t look away from it.

Jungkook notices Jimin’s stare and his smile fades away, replaced with a look of uncertainty and vulnerability.

“Jungkook-ah,” Jimin starts. He watches as Jungkook averts his eyes nervously. “I’m really sorry.”

Strangely enough, it doesn’t give Jimin the relief he had expected to feel. So he continues, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot— about that night— and I want to tell you I’m really glad you stopped anything from happening between us. You were right— In a way, I was using you as a rebound.”

Jungkook seems to deflate a little, looking like he doesn’t wish to hear whatever Jimin has to say next. But Jimin is undeterred. He finally has Jungkook standing in front of him again— not just a figment of his imagination, a ghost in the countless scenarios Jimin had played out in his mind over the past few months, entertaining the naïve fantasies of what ifs . What if he hadn’t kissed Jungkook? What if he hadn’t left him there? What if he sees him again?

He would apologise , Jimin said to himself.

“You made me so happy, Jungkook-ah,” He says. “So when Seokjin-hyung told me you loved me, I took advantage of that fact, took advantage of you. I liked you so much— but I wasn’t thinking about you. It’s selfish and self-centred, but I guess I only thought about me, and how happy I would be if we’re together.”

Jimin exhales deeply. “Then you started crying and god Jungkook, I fucked up. I realised I was hurting you and it killed me because I never wanted hurt you because I—I was in love with you.”

“I am in love with you.” He corrects in a beat.

Jungkook is staring at him with wide eyes and Jimin matches his gaze with a fierce determination burning in his chest.

“Jimi—”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know, and apologise for being an asshole.”

They stare at each other. In the heavy silence, two hearts coming together, breaking and healing in the moment of truth and confessions. Jimin knows there’s no going back— no way to reverse time or undo his mistakes. There’s no what ifs. No what if he had done this? or what if he had done that? There’s only now and a single what can he do to make things right?

“Will you let me make up for my mistakes?”

Jungkook’s gaze is filled with raw emotions that Jimin couldn’t even begin to decipher. They stand there, speaking a thousands words through their eyes, communicating everything that words can’t say through the quiet.

"Okay." Jungkook nods.

Jimin feels his heart burst with relief and elation.

Notes:

please let me know what you guys think of this chapter i’d love to hear it :((

ALSO, ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO AND WE’RE DONE AHHH (and i promise it’s all smooth sailing and fluffy from here on)

curiouscat | twitter

Chapter 14: end

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

i know i promised a lot of people that "the next chapter will be up soon" for months on end now but honestly i don't think i'll ever get to writing that last chapter. i've thought about it and decided that the best thing i could do is to at least give you guys an idea of the ending i had intended for this story anyway. so here it is:

- After Jungkook accepted Jimin's apology, the both of them start a tentative friendship again.

- It begins with Jimin visiting the cafe on a regular basis, with lame excuses such as "The air here makes me productive." but of course, he gets zero work done there – being constantly distracted by Jungkook.

- Jimin takes it slow, choosing not to actively pursue Jungkook at first. He just buys him food or leave cute notes on the napkin for Jungkook whenever he leaves (it makes Jungkook blush).

- Seokjin teases Jungkook about it, duh.

- Slowly but surely, Jungkook lowers his guard around Jimin again.

- The both of them grow closer and more comfortable with each other, hanging out outside of the cafe as well. There's inevitable tension between them that they don't act on.

- One day, Taehyung calls the both of them out to talk.

- He sincerely apologises to them, reflecting on everything he had done.

- Jungkook is passive aggressive whereas Jimin can't find it in himself to hate the boy, despite how much hurt he received from him. He does tell Taehyung that they can't ever go back to being friends though.

- Taehyung leaves and Jungkook notices Jimin staring after him, looking pensive. He hesitantly asks Jimin if he still loves Taehyung, afraid he'll say yes.

- Jimin shakes his head, telling him that he's sad he lost a friend, but the person he loves is sitting right in front of him now and he's truly happy for the first time in a long while.

- Jungkook's heart swell and he suddenly realises it's stupid that they keep dancing around each other like that.

- He confesses to Jimin, finally telling him the words he couldn't say a few months ago.

- And it cuts to them making love, relieving all of the built-up tension and emotions between them. p.s. the desperate kind y'know.

- They live happily ever after.

it's just a rough outline of the story sequence since a lot of the content and plot development can't be summarised easily. it sucks that i can't write it. i'm probably missing out a lot of stuff. you guys can leave me a comment or cc if you want to know anything else and i'll do my best to answer them.

update: ever since i posted this chapter, i've been receiving hate messages from people and i just wanted to say that i understand that some of you might be upset and i did as advised and put a warning on the summary now. i should've done that earlier, sorry if i wasted your time. but also, i don't owe you guys anything. i put in so much time and effort into writing this story and asked for nothing in return besides your enjoyment and it's annoying how people speak to me as if they feel it's ok to leave hurtful comments just because they're upset about it. if it was as simple as writing it and posting it, i'd have done it ages ago.

Notes:

Again, I sincerely apologise for ending off the story like this but I hope you guys won't blame me that much.

Even though I couldn't finish it, writing Serendipity is still one of the best decisions I have made, ever. To everyone who has been here with me through this journey, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

curiouscat