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Ways to a Kingsman Heart

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A woman watched Paris at night in all its romantic glory, the Eiffel Tower standing proudly in the distance, sticking out like a bright beacon into the night. The woman sighed contently as a soft breeze blew back her hair, pushing it away from her face. Her half open robe flapped in the wind softly, making her shiver as the silk whispered against her skin and made goosebumps rise on her flesh.

Two years ago, being married hadn’t been part of her plan. Heck, she thought she would be a spinster most of her life, watching as her friends got married and had kids, but now, here she was, standing there on a balcony, in one of the most romantic cities of the world, on her honeymoon with the men she loved.

‘Babe! You comin’ or not?’ A voice yelled from inside the room ‘Betta come quick or we’ll start without ya!’ He threatened playfully as she chuckled to herself, shaking her head. She had Kingsman to thanks for putting these wonderful men in her life.

To think it all started when she kicked someone’s ass with a cutesy umbrella…



-2 years ago-


Matthew grasped Tina's thighs with fever hot hands,spreading them to make himself at...|



Megan’s writing was interrupted as she heard a dull thump, which made her Mastiff ,Harley’ lifted her let out a weary 'boof' from her doggy bed. Megan looked at the walls wearily before resuming her typing.


Matthew made himself at home within the cradle of her hips, his rough work calloused hands dragging their way up to her...|


Megan hears the thump again, this time louder and three times in a row. Harley stood, letting out another 'Boof' and a low growl. The walls of these flats were in no way paper thin but the soundproofing could only do so much. The thumps came again and Megan began to grow worried. It came from the right, which meant it came from her neighbor Michelle’s home.


A sweet single mother of two children, one that already left the house to a sweet little girl named Daisy. They often went on runs and walks together and Megan often went to join her for a, what would Michelle call it? A yes, a cuppa.

Megan took a glance at her decorative clock on the wall. 9 o clock...

It wasn’t like Michelle to make noises like that, especially when it was past Daisy's bedtime.


Harley growled and took off towards the front door like a shot. Megan uncurled herself from her seat on the couch and set her laptop on her coffee table, saving her progress and standing up. She grabbed her Taser from her purse that was on the small bench that she used to put on her shoes.


   Ever since she got mugged, that time back when she used to live in Montreal, she never truly went anywhere without her trusty Taser, its weight always comforting, as funny as that sounds. Megan got her ass in gear when she heard the thumps again. Harley whimpered while scratching at the door and letting out a small 'boof'. She looked up at Megan, as if telling her to hurry up.


 Megan stayed in her slippers and opened the door, her dog practically barrelling outside to make it next door. Harley whimpered as she sniffed at Michelle’s cute doormat with kittens on it. Megan noticed that the door wasn’t locked or even closed and she could hear yelling inside. She felt fear and protectiveness grip her heart like a vice.  

 'Heel girl' Megan said with a snap of her fingers as a low growl tumbled within Harley’s chest like roiling thunder.

 Megan knew how protective her dog was of little Daisy. Megan heard Michelle scream, Daisy’s crying and the shouts of several, possibly two men. Megan set her jaw in determination and bolted inside, Harley at her heel.


Across town, a phone lit up with a small chirp, rousing its owner awake. Green eyes blinked sleepily as a hand blindly reached for the phone, which chirped again.


'For fucks sake' The man grumbled as he finally took hold of the phone, vision slowly clearing until he was able to read the message on the screen.


Eggsy felt the content of his stomach turn to lead when he read the alert.


'Security breach: Mum’s house' kept flashing on his screen, the phone chirping every 10 seconds. Eggsy practically tore the covers away from him in his haste to get up, making his bed partner grumble. JB the second let out a startled bark as he was suddenly buried under the comforter.


'Dear boy, what’s the matter' His bedmate inquired sleepily, slowly sitting up and turning on the lamp on the bedside table, bathing both of them in a muted light and absentmindedly pried the wiggling pug from the confines of the covers. One surprisingly alert brown eye watched as Eggsy got dressed in a hurry, hopping around to get into his trousers.

'There’s a security breach at my mum’s house' Eggsy said, the line of his shoulders tense and his mouth set in a grim line. Harry immediately sat up straight, moving to swing his legs over the side of the bed.

'Do you want me to come with you?' The older man asked, concern colouring his tone as he slipped an eyepatch over his blind eye.

'Nah babe, I’ll be fine’ Eggsy reassured him as he slipped on his trainers and quickly kissed his lover on the mouth before dashing off. But not before grabbing his Kingsman glasses and gun- just in case.



 He dashed down the stairs and grabbed his car keys from the bowl next to the door, calling a Kingsman cab would take too much time. He made sure to lock the door behind him and quickly got into his car that stood in their small driveway. He tore down the driveway; tires squealing loudly as he swerved and took off down the street, his heart in his throat at the possibilities of what could’ve happened to his mom and Daisy.


His hand tightened on the shift gear at those thoughts, fear making his heart beat a painful rhythm inside his chest. In what seemed like forever, he came to a screeching halt in front of his mother’s flat, the breaks squealing loudly at the rough halt, tires creaking on the asphalt. Just as he came out of his car, two men came running out of his mum's flat, screaming, with a massive dog barking and snipping at their heels, as they tore down the sidewalk.


'Don’t you dare come back fuckwads! Cuz I swear, I’ll shove this umbrella so far up your asses that It’ll open through your mouths!' A woman yelled after them, holding up a decidedly broken umbrella threateningly. He then saw her wince as she held up the mangled umbrella, the wooden tip broken and the frame severely out of shape. She threw it cleanly into the small trashcan that was situated down by the steps. Then she whistled sharply.

'Harley, c’mere girl!’ The woman- or maybe was it a teenager, her figure seeming deceptively petite under the harsh glare of the porch light- called out.

Eggsy turned at the click of claws on the sidewalk, the massive dog bounding over, panting, its cheek flabs bouncing as it trotted over, taking an exploratory sniff at Eggsy before nudging the gate open with its nose and went to plop at its mistress’s feet, tongue lulling out as it panted. A look of fondness made its way through the shadows that covered her face as she reached to pet the dog on the head, said dog leaning into her leg as she scratched it behind the ears.


'Good girl, you did a good job at protecting Michelle and Daisy, that’s my good girl' The woman gushed her praise, the dogs tail wagging happily, something akin to a smile on the dog’s face.

Eggsy felt his body relax at the mention of the dog protecting his mother and sister, this woman was obviously a friend.


'Oi!'Eggsy called while finally opening the fence, the door creaking ominously as he pushed it forward, cold metal beneath his fingers. The woman on the stoop visibly tensed, her hand falling to something at her hip, but he couldn’t make out what is was since the porch light obscured most of her features, the light at her back outlining the line of her shoulders and her hair. He stopped in the middle of the walkway that led to the stoop, his whole body one tense line as he tried to casually put his hands inside the pockets of his jacket.

'Came back for round 2 ey? I’m afraid this time you won’t be able to go through this door without going through me first' The woman said in a low accented tone, sharp and threatening, all softness she addressed to her dog gone. The giant mutt let out a 'boof' and stood, moving in front of the door to seemingly guard it like a miniature Cerberus.


'Hey, it’s fine, I'm Eggsy, I’m Michelle’s son' Eggsy said, attempting to sound reassuring as he slowly moved closer. 'Eggsy?' Michelle peeked out cautiously, Daisy held tightly to her chest, who was holding onto his mother’s pyjamas with her tiny fists, face blotchy with tears.

'Mum, Dais' he expressed, relief bursting out of him as he climbed up the stairs and gathered the two of them into his arms. He felt his mother’s hand clutch at his jumper tightly and Daisy’s soft tiny hand patting at his cheek as he kissed the both of them on the cheek, breathing a sigh of relief as he pressed his forehead against his mom’s, anxiety spooling out of him in waves.


Rage curled into the pit of his stomach like hellfire, sharp and biting as he felt his mother tremble into his grasp. He would find out who fucking did this and make them pay for threatening his family.


'Are you a‘right? What happened?‘ He asked, inspecting both of them for injuries.

'Yeah, we're fine babe, both of us, thanks to Megan and Harley' Michelle said, pulling away just enough to peer at the young woman who had politely stepped aside to give them space and seemed to be in the middle of leaving.

With the light now at her front, he could finally see her face. A rather young looking face, with droopy hazel eyes, buttons nose and lush, cushiony pink lips. She was on the thin side but held some curves towards her thighs and hips and a bit on her cheeks so it gave her face some form instead of looking too sharp. She was wearing under armour leggings with a loose black shirt.

But what stood out the most was the slowly darkening bruise on her right eye and the split lip. In this very moment, Eggsy couldn’t help but feel both immense gratitude and guilt. She may have protected his mother but she got hurt while doing so.


'Oh honey' his mum whispered as she handed him Daisy, who immediately clung to him like a koala bear, her tiny fists clutching at his jumper. He whispered reassurances into her ear as he watched his mum make her way over to the young woman and cupped her face.

'Come inside ta? We’ll have a look at that, I’m so sorry this had to happen', his mum’s voice sounded wrecked with guilt as she looked the tiny woman over. The younger woman didn’t say anything as she let the older woman look her over for signs of further injuries.

'Its fine Michelle really, I’ll put some ice on it at home, why don’t you settle down with your son and have nice cuppa ey?' The younger woman said softly, reaching to rub Michelle’s arms as Michelle cupped her face.

'I’ll even leave Harley with you to stand guard' She proposed, the dog in question standing up when its name was mentioned, tail wagging happily.

'Leyley' Daisy said softly, sticking out a hand towards the massive dog. The dog immediately made her way over as she heard Daisy and plopped down at Eggsy’s feet, giving another sniff and nudged at Daisy little socked foot with her muzzle. Daisy giggled briefly, trying to pull her foot away from Harleys teasing wet nose. Eggsy smiled, holding Daisy with one arm under her legs and reached to pet the humongous dog on the head, the mutt leaning its weight into him, panting happily.


'Good girl' He told Harley softly which earned him a lick to the hand and the sound of her tail thudding against the doormat.


'Come on now young lady, let’s get you inside' Eggsy looked up to see the young woman roll her eyes good naturedly at Michelle as the woman pushed her inside the house. Eggsy followed suit, patting his leg, inciting Harley to come along. The dog did so without complaint, stepping into the house and watched as Eggsy took off his shoes and turned to follow her mistress into his mom’s kitchen.


He rocked Daisy lightly as he wiped his thumb tenderly across her rosy cheek to wipe away any residual tears, the rage inside his heart roaring anew. He also noticed that her eyes were beginning to droop, so he coaxed her to lean her head against his shoulder and shushed her, swaying from side to side.


It was blatantly clear that there had been a fight that went on in the kitchen and living room, numerous items or pieces of furniture had been moved or broken. He carefully tip toed around pieces of a broken lamp and joined the two women and dog in the kitchen. The safe room door was gapping open, probably due to his mum rushing out once the dickheads that had decided to terrorize her were gone. He was glad she had used it, he had it installed just for situations like these. Dean Baker was in jail but the man had many connections and he wouldn’t let prison stop him from getting revenge or to cause Michelle grief.


He looked up as he heard china clinking against the smooth countertop. It was visible that Michelle was shaking, her hands trembling as she filled the kettle with water, water sloshing loudly as she moved the kettle to the stove top. Megan was sitting idly at the table, in one of the only chairs that didn’t seem terribly maimed, eyes squinting at the glare of the light which made her black eye look even worse than it already was. Harley lay by her feet, eyes and ears seeming alert for any sign of residual danger.

She glanced up at him briefly before refocusing her gaze onto Michelle, who swore as she burned herself on the burner. Eggsy moved slowly and calmly, he knew his mum could be a hazard to herself in the kitchen when she was upset and he aimed to distract her by handing her the now sleeping Daisy.

'How about you go put Daisy to bed and I’ll take care of the tea yeah? 'He said softly as Michelle hugged Daisy close, her hand cradling the toddlers head. She nodded tearfully before giving him a grateful kiss on the cheek before shuffling out of the kitchen.

Harley stood and stretched, letting out a yawn and set to follow Michelle closely as the woman shuffled through the carnage that had been made of her house.

'Sorry for earlier' the young woman said, nearly making Eggsy  jump out of his skin. Her voice was much softer when it wasn’t filled with anger, a demure dulcet that was pleasant to the ear.


He shrugged one shoulder and waved a hand as he went to the freezer and retrieve a bag of peas.

'S'a'right, ye were just protectin my mum and I thank you for that- here' he gently pressed the bag of peas against her swelling eye. He made a noise of sympathy as she hissed in pain, gently grasping his wrist as if to stop him as pain probably lanced through her whole face. He had had his fair share of black eyes, he knew how it felt.

'Thanks' She murmured, her hand brushing against his as she reached to hold onto the bag herself. He finally let go once he made sure she had a firm grip on it.


'I'm Megan by the way' she introduced herself.

'Eggsy' he said, offering a smile.

'And the dog up there is Harley' she added even though she had a ‘why the fuck did I just say that’ face. Eggsy found himself chuckling at her charming awkwardness.

'Harley uh, she seems to like Daisy a lot' Eggsy said as he migrated back into the kitchen as the kettle started to whistle.

Megan let out a soft chuckle. ‘She’s absolutely enamored with her, with any children really, she’s my big patient girl' she said fondly and looked up when Michelle came back shuffling into the kitchen.

Megan stood and allowed Michelle to sit, putting a comforting hand on the older woman’s shoulder. Eggsy saw his mum’s bottom lip wobble before she finally broke and started to cry.

‘I-I thought that we would be safe here’ She sniffled, wiping at her eyes with her pyjamas sleeve ‘But obviously, wherever I go, he still has a hold on me’

Eggsy clenched his jaw, trying to quell the anger as well as guilt that swirled in his belly. He thought he had covered everything when he set his mum up in this sweet little flat. Guess he was wrong, the bastard was gonna pay, he wasn’t gonna play gentleman this time, oh no, the dickhead would get what was coming to him and his little band of miscreants.

‘I’ll take care of everythin’, mum’ Eggsy said once he finally found his voice, bringing over a tray of tea to the table and handing each woman their cup ‘you won’t have to worry anymore’ he finished ominously, which made his mum meet his gaze. She stared into his eyes for a moment, opened her mouth as if to protest but gave a nod. He offered her a weak smile before glancing up at Megan who was observing him with a dubious look on her face. If she had a clue of what he was implying, she didn’t tell his mother about it. She drained her cup and went to set it into the sink, a slight limp in her gait as she moved.

‘You sure ya don’t wanna go to the hospital darling?’ Michelle asked in concern, watching as the young woman set the peas back into the freezer. Michelle reached for Eggsy’s hand which he took without hesitation, her hand cold and trembling into his grasp. Megan shook her head and waved it off.

‘I’ll be fine, you go rest up and I’ll come to get Harley tomorrow alright?’ Megan offered a small smile before dwelling into the living room and they heard her leave by the door with a soft click. The silence in the flat was suddenly deafening with the absence of the other woman and both him and his mum stayed in silence, both of them lost in their ruminations.

‘Go get some sleep ta?’ He said softly, kissing his mum’s knuckles and helped her stand. He went as far as bringing her to her room. As soon her door was closed, Eggsy touched the side of his glasses.

‘Merlin you in?’ He asked quietly as he briefly checked up on Daisy. The little girl was dead to the world, as if nothing had happened, Harley’s body curled protectively around the little one. The dog lifted its head briefly to glance at Eggsy before lying back down with a huff.

‘What is it that ya need at this hour Eggsy; didn’t you sign off a few hours ago?’

The timbre of Merlin’s Scottish accent felt good in his ear. To say, a few months ago, they had thought they had lost the man to a landmine- but it seemed like Harry wasn’t the only one who was able to come back from the dead. He came back with a pair of shiny bionic legs, having lost both of his legs in the explosion but being otherwise unharmed. He took back his spot as quartermaster as soon as he came back, even though they insisted that he should rest: the man had told them quite blandly that he could rest when he was truly dead.

‘There was a breach at my mum’s house and I wanna know who it was’ he could hear Merlin’s breath itch but he quickly recovered ’I have a feelin that it was Dean’s fuckin’ rookies’ Eggsy hissed as he made his way down the stairs to clean up the mess.

‘Give me a sec, I’ll bring up the footage of the security cameras to you’ Eggsy could hear rapid typing in his ear. While Merlin did his research, Eggsy sent a quick text to Harry to tell him that everything was ok. Knowing the man, he was probably still awake and plotting revenge on those who dared trespass into his mum’s house.

A video appeared in front of his eyes and started playing. A pounding could be heard as the camera focused on the front door. Then his mother appeared holding Daisy, the little girl sucking her thumb. The pounding came again and he saw his mum hesitate, she was no fool, who could be knocking at this hour. He saw her peer into the peephole and saw her rear back as the door suddenly slammed open. Michelle screamed and Daisy immediately started to cry as two men came barrelling into the flat. One tall and slender, the other wide and bulky which kind of reminded him of Jasper and Horace from 101 Dalmatians.

‘I’m doing facial recognition on both men as we speak’ Merlin informed Eggsy, but he wasn’t exactly paying attention as he watched how Michelle ran from the two men, one nearly catching her but being thrown back when Michelle delivered a kick, not too well aimed but it did its job since the man stumbled which gave her enough time to go hide in the safe room.

A few minutes passed as the men pounded on the steel reinforced door and then the camera jumped back to the door when Megan came in, Harley on her heel. He saw her pause in the doorway before threading carefully inside, Harley staying close, grabbing his mum’s kitten umbrella from its resting place near the door. The two men didn’t notice her presence until she spoke.

‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ He could hear it again, the same frigid tone she had used on him.

The two men obviously jumped and turned to her.

‘Mind ya own business ya little cunt’ One of them, the bulky one threatened, moving a step towards Megan. The woman kept the umbrella out of view behind her back as she smiled snidely at the two men.

‘It is indeed my business when you are terrorizing my neighbor and her daughter dickwad’ the woman hissed, the dog besides her growling. The man glanced at the dog briefly, if not fearfully.

‘Take care of her Duncan will ya?’ The slim one said to the bulky one, who cracked his knuckles with a smirk. Eggsy could see the hesitation on her face and her grip tightens on the umbrella.

‘Harley, protect!’ He heard Megan say and the dog scrambles away from her side and goes to stand in front of the door, barked and snarled at the slim guy, gnashing its teeth aggressively. The bulky guy was distracted enough for the young woman to finally move and club him in the head with the umbrella.

 ‘Duncan’ gave a pained cry as he momentarily lost his balance against the attack, knocking over one of the picture frames on the wall which came crashing down onto the floor and scattered glass everywhere. He quickly regained his footing and gripped the umbrella as Megan went to swing it down on him again. The smaller woman obviously struggled against the much stronger man. But she didn’t seem to let it affect her as she whipped her foot out to kick him in the knee. Who -> people, which -> objects

‘You fuckin’ bitch!’ came Duncan’s pained snarl, as he wrenched the umbrella from Megan’s hand. He swung his meaty fist and it came in contact with Megan’s face, making her slam against the kitchen isle quite painfully. He could see the brunette grit her teeth and she cried out as Duncan fisted her hair. She struggled against the grip quite valiantly. Duncan picked her up like she was a simple rag doll and slammed her against a nearby wall; clearly knocking the wind out of her by the way she exhaled loudly. She gripped and clawed the man’s meaty hand as he held her in place by her throat.

‘I’ll show ya ta mind your own business kid’ Duncan leered as he flashed her pocket knife, flicking the blade with his thumb with a small ‘shnick’. Eggsy could see her grit her teeth and eye the blade fearfully. It was blatantly clear that she had never gotten into a fight before, her moves had been choppy and uncoordinated, but he admired how she held her own for this long. 

He then saw her fumbling with something as the man started to run the flat of his blade along her cheek, making her turn her head to try and avoid it. There suddenly was a loud crackling noise and Duncan started to convulse and fell over holding his bollocks. The woman held up a still crackling Taser. She smartly kicked the blade away from Duncan before rounding on the slim guy.

He was clearly struggling with the dog, who was tugging at his pant leg with its teeth. They clearly were one of the less experienced of Dean’s bunch, losing to a dog, how pathetic. Eggsy huffed, silently cheering on the girl as she picked the umbrella back up, stalked towards the slim guy and rammed into him with surprising force, sending his body careening into the wall with a loud bang. She followed quickly to press the umbrella against his throat to block his airway. It was laughable really, she was easily 5’’4 to the guys 6’1 and she managed to neutralize him.

‘Who sent you?’ The woman asked aggressively, baring her teeth at the man who dissolved into a fumbling mess, all show and now bravado.

‘Aint gonna tell, you little bitch’ the man hissed back, baring his own teeth. The woman smirked, showing far too much teeth. ‘Oh is that so?’ She questioned rhetorically then held up her Taser, the electricity crackling loudly as she pressed the button, making the slim guy wince and close his eyes.

‘Perhaps you could reconsider that, unless you want me to reduce your balls to dried up little raisins ey?’ She hissed lowly as the guy seemed to quiver in her grasp. Like a rabbit ensnared into a snakes grip. ‘I won’t repeat myself’

‘Dean! it was Dean!’ The man cried, a wet spot rapidly growing on the front of his trousers. Eggsy nearly laughed at the pathetic coward. ‘He wanted us to take care of that bitch Michelle, that all I know I swear!’ The woman backed up, satisfied with his answer. He saw her wrinkle her nose as she probably took note of the man’s wet trousers.

‘Get outta here, scat!’ She snarled, pointing towards the door. The slim guy scrambled away and went to assist his downed friend who was still holding his bollocks and letting out pained grunts. ‘Make sure to escort them out Harley’ The woman said and the dog moved into action to chase them out.

The video stopped and Eggsy blinked.

‘I did a background check on the woman as well, everything seems to be in order for her, she means no harm as far as I can tell, clean record and everything. As for the two men, I’ve arranged that they get arrested immediately’ Merlin’s voice filled his ears.

‘Thanks Merlin, you the guv’ He said, offering a smile even though the other man couldn’t see it. He heard the man let out a small chuff of laughter before disconnecting.

Now how could he pay back the woman that had saved his mother and sister?