"This is the story of how I died." -E
"No, it's the story of how I died." -J
"Depressing much?" -M
"Oh, come on. It's not like they really died." -H
"Hey! How would you like to be stabbed?" -E
"Or drowned?" -J
"I almost drowned. Twice. And I lost part of my leg, and got struck by lightning, and – " -H
"Okay, we get it, everyone has had a miserable life." -M
"Or death." -J
"But this story isn't all depressing. It's your last year at Hogwarts. A grand finale to the story." -E
"Hey, Eugene, since this is a big finale, maybe you should remind everyone of what happened before?" -R
"Right. Be ready for spoilers for the last six years." -E
"Year One: My fifth year. I met Jack Frost and told him not to tell anyone in Slytherin that he had a muggle family, which he promptly ignored. He hated Merida, but then joined her to fight bullies. Hiccup picked up his wand with his left hand and learned he wasn't a squib. The kids found a herd of Nightmares. I got expelled.
"Year Two: I wasn't around. But in my place, Mother Gothel came to school, keeping a tighter leash on Rapunzel, and working with Pitch to turn children into fearlings, and making Jack think he was going crazy. Together, the four kids solved the mystery of where the fearlings were coming from and saved the school.
"Year Three: Merida faced stricter lessons in preparation for being queen, Rapunzel struggled some more under Gothel's oppressive thumb. Hiccup, now able to do magic, still faced the fact that he was weak, and Jack sought out his father, discovering he was half ice-elf. Oh, and Rapunzel got a pet frog."
"Princess Merida turned her mum into a bear. I'm not going any further with that one.
"Year Four: The world started to hate and fear wizards, witches and ice elves. A series of attacks on the Guardians forced them to reveal their backstories to the four kids. Merida's suitors showed up to win her heart, and a monkey king tried to marry her. Oh, and I was tracked down and kidnapped by the Stabbington brothers.
"Let's see, I think someone trained a dragon at this point.
"Year Five: To combat Pitch's attempts to make the world afraid, the Guardians hosted the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Astrid, Jack, and Prince Hans competed for the grand prize. All the girls started to fall for Jack, even without any smolder. Meanwhile, Jack's friend and Viking, Camicazi, planned a genocide against ice elves. Jack stopped her and rescued his sister and step-father. A Viking almost killed Merida's mom and Princess Rapunzel had to out her hair. Hiccup got kidnapped.
"Year Six: No matter how hard the kids tried to stop the fear, they couldn't. Vikings and Scots started to battle. Dragon attacks became frequent. And I got arrested. Magic is almost entirely banned. All wizards have to live in hiding, the school is hidden, Merida is an outlaw, Hiccup is stuck on Berk and Rapunzel is locked in her tower with only Jack Frost, her secret keeper, knowing the location.
"The world is now in chaos and I'm traveling with Cassandra and Maximus, being trailed by the Stabbington brothers to find Rapunzel's teeth, while the Big Four are struggling to put their fractured world back in order. I hope they can."