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True Love

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D'avin smirked. "Is this what people mean when they're calling you the designated asshole?"

Fancy scoffed. For a man who was about to get the ride of his life, he was remarkably uppity. Not that D'avin had anything against uppity - or against assholes, for that matter, be they proverbial or literal.

Still, from time to time, a man liked to feel appreciated, or at least have the fact of his ... considerable attributes acknowledged in some way.

"Guess it's your brother who got the brains in the family, huh?" Fancy said. "Get on with it, Jaqobis. I'm a busy man. I've got more important things to do with my day than deal with your insecurities."

"Guess it's - oh, just about everyone else who got the manners," D'avin said. "Nice ass, though."

"Thanks," said Fancy. "I put it on especially for you this morning. Doesn't that make you feel special?"

D'avin sighed. "You know what they say about people who haven't got anything nice to say?"

"You know what they say about people who are all talk, no action?" Fancy replied.

"I'm really going to enjoy shutting you up." Next time, perhaps he should bring a gag. It'd also mean he'd miss out on Fancy actually falling apart on him, but, well, it just might be a fair trade.

"Funny," Fancy said. "I'm really going to enjoy watching you try and fail."

"Sounds like one of us is going to find out they were wrong."

"Oh, I'd say that depends on whether or not you're ever going to stop talking," Fancy said. "Are you? Should I go and grab something to read? A light snack, maybe?"

"I've got a snack for you right here," said D'avin. "Not sure I'd call it a light one, though."

Fancy stared at him.

D'avin scowled. "What? Like that line about putting on your ass in the morning wasn't weird."

"It's not that," Fancy said. "I'm simply stunned at your level of delusional. Your parents must have loved you very much."

"Let's not drag my parents into this. Or my brother. Or anyone, really. Let's just - "

"Finally."