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The School Dance

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I don't own Bad Education. All rights go to their respective owners


The School Dance


“I ain't going.” Cleo grumbles with folded arms.

“Aww come on, please come with me.” Mitchell all but begs.

“Nah, I don't do school dances.” She mutters.

“What do I have to do to convince you to come?”

“Nothing, I ain't going.” She retorts.

“Me and Rem Dogg are planning on spiking the punch with Fraser.”

“Whilst I'd like to see you spike the punch with the headmaster. You do realize that seeing as Pickwell’s gonna be there she's going to be guarding that bowl with her life.” Joe calls.

“Did I ask for your input?” Mitchell snaps.

“He's got a point.” Jing murmurs as an overly excited Stephen bursts into the room with Chantelle, both chatting excitedly about the dance.

With a frustrated sigh, Cleo drops her head onto her desk in despair.




Shoving her headphones in, Cleo opts to walk home alone, the others either just staying behind for the dance or in detention.

“Hiya.” Comes the familiar voice of Chantelle as she approaches Cleo, both she and Stephen appearing out of nowhere and circling around her.

“What do you want?” She glances up at them both.

“Us? Oh, we just wanted someone to walk with.” Stephen replies.

“You don't do that. Neither of you do.” She retorts sharply.

“Oh, but we just wanted to have a chat is all.” Stephen smirks as Cleo raises her eyebrow at them both.

Slightly unnerved by the whole situation to say the least!



“Mission accomplished. Mahoosive thanks to you both. Cheers!” Fraser raises a plastic cup of spiked punch to Mitchell and Rem Dogg.

The three having successfully managed to spike the punch.

“Nah, it's thanks to you almost selling your soul to the devil over there.” Rem Dogg mods toward Pickwell. Fraser shudders.

“Which I am never, ever doing again.”

“Same think Dickers said after he faked flirting with that bitch to get us back from that twat head.” Mitchell nods.

“Never again.” Alfie says in passing before frowning.

“Why did you do it?” He looks to Fraser.

“Needed to spike the punch.” He mouths, passing Alfie a cup.

“Thanks mate, even thought you've really got to stop spiking the punch. You're the headmaster.” He points out.

“Technically I didn't, they did.” He smirks at Mitchell and Rem Dogg.

“Right, new life lesson. If you're head teacher asks you to spike the punch. Don't do it.” Alfie sighs.

“Yeah but Alf, they are quite loyal to their archbishop of bantabry.” He points out before downing a cup and making his way back towards the punch bowl.

“Come on, you're going to dance with me. I'm not letting you escape.” Rosie calls as she grabs Alfie’s arm, dragging him towards the dance floor.

“Have fun Dickers.” Mitchell says as Rem Dogg pulls his phone out to film Alfie’s attempt to dance with Rosie.

“You look miserable, mate. Have another drink.” Rem Dogg notes.

“I am not.”

“Course you are, seeing as Cleo isn't here.”

“I ain't bothered if she's here or not.” Mitchell snaps, downing a cup, refilling it soon after.

“Ohh for fucks… Even Joe’s got a woman here.” He grumbles.

“What. Ahh this is going on Snapchat.” Rem Dogg quickly snaps a few pictures of Joe dancing with his date Ally, both quite poor dancers after all.

“Hey, you're not alone. I mean, think about it. No one’s gonna dance with either Fraser or Pickwell and look Frank’s on his own, oh, take that back.” Rem Dogg notes as Stephen struts into the assembly hall in full makeup and looking glamorous from head to toe.

“Stunning as always.” Frank remarks as he embraces his boyfriend.

“Thanks, babes. Means a lot.” Stephen beams as they share a brief kiss before moving to join the other dancers.

“Ah look Chantelle’s here, might see if she wants a dance ohh my.. Um, Mitchell.” Rem Dogg wheels into him to get his attention.

“Ow you prick, watch where you’re wheeling that thing… Shit.” He trails off upon seeing what Rem Dogg is eying. Chantelle and next to her Cleo.

Shoving the cup he was drinking from into Rem Dogg, slightly tipsy Mitchell attempts to walk in a straight line toward Cleo.

“You say anything I will castrate you.” She threatens.

“Also, would you mind helping me kill Stephen and Chantelle? Freakin’ abducted me! Against my will and dragged me here.” She grumbles.

“Yeah but, you’re here now.” Mitchell shrugs.

“That I am.”

“Wanna dance with me?”

“Seriously?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Well, you're here now so, why not?” He points out.

“You know what? Fine. Fine I will but if he even takes one photo.” She indicates to Rem Dogg.

“I will introduce him to a world of pain neither of you can even begin to imagine.” She says before taking his hand, Mitchell pulling her into his side quickly.

“You look lovely.”

“What did I say about what I would do to you if you said anything?” She questions but smirks slightly and takes both of his hands in hers.

“Thanks.” She murmurs, the two of them swaying to the music picked specifically by Pickwell.

“Rem Dogg, Mr Fraser and me spiked the punch.” He comments.

“Thought you would. Still gets me how Fraser helped with that.”

“He's a bit of a twat though.” Mitchell remarks.

“You got that right.” She smirks, nodding to where Fraser is standing by a desk, seconds later he glances at Rem Dogg and then Mitchell, beckoning them over with his hand.

“You've got to be joking.” Mitchell growls.

He has somehow managed to get Cleo to dance with him and now the head wants him?

“Go, the music is shit anyway. Think whatshername picked it.” She nods toward Pickwell.

“I believe that.” Alfie says in passing.

“It's not that bad.” Rosie sighs.

“Wouldn't take your word for it, you don't like Michael Buble.”

“Not this again.” Rosie groans as Mitchell joins Rem Dogg who parks himself in front of Fraser.

“What up sir?” Mitchell enquires.

“You remember my ‘I got my job back’ bash when the two of you DJ’d?” Fraser enquires.

“Yeah we put that video of Alfie on!” Rem Dogg sniggers, high fiving Mitchell.

“Well. I need you both to do it again.” He practically begs.

“This music is seriously shit.”


Moments Later…


“Punch?” Fraser passes a cup to a moody Pickwell.

Taking it from him and taking a sip she sighs loudly.
“It's been spiked. It's been fucking spiked. Right that's it, I am going to get a new bowl and wipe down the old bowl for fingerprints to catch the cheeky bastard who did this.” She hisses before storming out of the hall.

Jogging toward the door, shutting it and pushing the bolt across, Fraser nods toward Rem Dogg and Mitchell who immediately change the music.

“Now it's a proper party, am I right?!” Fraser cheers along with the other students.

“Much better.” Alfie sighs happily.

“Down here now. This is proper music to dance to.” Cleo calls up to Mitchell, who eagerly jumps down from the platform to join her.

“Ain't so bad.” She mutters under her breath.

“Wait.” Mitchell grins.

“Did you just say that this ain't that…” Cleo cuts him off by kissing him.

“What did I say I would do to you if you said anything.” She says when she pulls back.

“I ain't saying another word.” Mitchell says in awe before returning the kiss.

Meanwhile, smiling at his best friend for his success, Rem Dogg moves to put the next track on, sniggering when he sees the title…

‘my heart is broken, like an egg on the floor, some might call you a grown up others call you a whore, you are my personal salmonella, going off on holiday and having sex with Trevor…’

“Ahh bollocks!” Alfie yells in annoyance.

“Put Rudimental back on for the love of God!”