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Why can't it be me?

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What did just happen? Did Sun just proposed to the princess? 

Just as i was completely shock to this news, Knight-Captain Judgment patted my shoulders, and looked at Sun. 


Why? Why do you have to pat me at times like this?

Trying to check myself if my expression is starting to waver. I shifted my gaze to the princess. She doesn't seem surprise about Sun's sudden declaration of love.

What is going on?

Could it be that the princess and Sun is actually dating in secret and now that the King seemed adamant about marrying her to the Son of God of War; he was desperate not to lose her? 

No, that's not it, Sun's Vice-Captain Adair; just a few days ago was gravely wounded by the Son of God of War, he's probably planning something against that guy.

I'm trying to comfort myself by this idea. But honestly, I'm very scared. All these years I've loved Sun, but ican only love him afar. How can i tell him i have feelings for him, no. That's not possible. I just comfort myself to the fact that Sun Knight is not interest in women. That's my only soul console.

Oh another knight propose? What a fiasco! I see, this might be a ruse to hinder princess's marriage to that man. Sun is really vengeful, ruffling his feathers is something no one should do.

"...But what's even more unbelievable is that Sun actually had an affair with the princess.." Storm whispered.


I strained my ears to listen to what he was telling. Apparently, a few days ago the princess went and met Sun, when he learned about that Elijah's existence . The princess was trying to appease Sun's jealousy.

Ah so that's it. Sun really loves her huh. Well he went to the palace a lot with his teacher when he was little. It's not impossible for him to meet her and fall in love. Looking at her, she's really beautiful. 

My heart aches. I want this day over...

It's late at night and i am still in the kitchen, waiting for the pie i made to cool. While i am doing this, idecided to make a batch of blueberry chocolates.  Sigh .. Can't be help, no matter how much i try. I just can't help but love him. Seeing him jubilantly eating what i make, makes me happy.


Knock Knock.

"It's late. Why aren't you asleep?" A deep voice stopped my stupor.

I didn't need to turn around to see who it was, i just kept whisking the melted chocolates and said, "Have you known about this for long?". 

"No.." Judgment answered me and dragged a chair out to sit behind me. I could feel his intense stare.

"He's your best friend, how could you not known he was dating her?" I asked him accusingly. I'm still whisking, beating the chocolate in the bowl like i was mad at it. My cool icy expression is long gone. Oh heck, we are alone anyways.

I heard Judgment stood and lock the door, and gentle footsteps follow.

"What are you doing?" I ask him as he took the bowl in my hand, and put it on the table. He licked his finger that had a smear of chocolate in them.

"Hmm, it's too sweet... I see that you're still making treats for him." He asked.

I shift my gaze to the table, with a nonchalant voice i ask" Why won't i make him this? I give all twelve holy knights their sweets right?"

Judgment didn't answer, he just kept looking at me, eyes full of doubt. Well of course he would, he's the only one who knew what i felt for Sun. He once caught me eyeing him longingly, he asked me if i love Sun that day. Seeing how i cannot lie to him, I just nodded. At that time, i felt his eyes shown a little hurt. Is he in love with him too, I wonder?

Later i discovered that they were pretty close. So when I make blueberry treat for Sun, i ask Judgment to passed it along.

From time to time he gives me news about Sun. How he looked when he eat the pie i baked, or something like that. Once he told me he accidentally exchange his sweets with Sun, and Sun spew the bitter batch of chocolate in his face. I tried to imagine how Sun looked like that time and i can't help but burst a giggle. On the very rare occasion - almost as rare as Sun eating bitter chocolate , Judgment Knight smiled. I felt he's treasuring Sun very much.

"The pie's cool now, i can wrap it up. If you could, please give it to Knight-Captain Sun for me? Also, this honey biscuits are for you." I adopt an icy expression again and gave him the honey biscuits while im wrapping the pie.

Judgment Knight grabbed my hand and turned my face around "What are you do-ump.. " A kiss planted on my lips. At first it was just a smack, but Judgment squeezed my jaws to open my mouth and forced his tongue in me, gently swirling. His breathing ragged and i heard him groan. "Umm, "  i can't breathe! 

I punched his stomach with one of my free hand. But on par with strength, it's obvious that I'm not at advantage. However,Judgment stop and release me. Lost for words i mumbled "You... you..! While trembling. I cannot believe what just happen.

Judgment, looking at me with eyes obviously hurt. He must regret what he did. He tried to speak but iinterrupted him.

"A holy knight,.. no a Judgment Knight acting like a criminal.. Do you think i am that desperate for a touch that anyone will do?" I felt betrayed. I trust him like a brother and he used my feelings.

"No. I know that you love Sun. And i am just someone who knew your secret. But did you ever wonder whyi know how you feel about him? Did it ever occur to you that I'm looking at you the way you look at him..That's right, i love you. Silently supporting your wishes, i stood beside Sun. Yes, he is very important to me. I treat him as a best friend. No, not only that. He's my brother..But you're important too. Seeing you hurt like this.. hurts me too." His voice tremble a little. The cool and composed Judgment Knight no more, face a little pink. Dishevelled hair, and shoulders shaking.

My mouth froze in permanent "ah", i can't believe what I'm hearing. Looking back, it all make sense.

He made a step towards me as if trying to measure if i calmed down. As reflex, i step backwards. 

This surprised him a little and made him stop in his tracks. Before i could say I'm sorry, i didn't mean to react like that, he bowed his head and said "My apologies, you're right. I acted like a lowly criminal. Just think of it as a dog that bit you. It won't happen again." He turned to pick up the pie, and before he turn, he looked at the honey biscuits i made for him. He picked it up and without looking at me he said "I didn't mean to hurt you.." 

He silently closed the door behind him.