The last game for the year is over and Scorpius wants a warm shower and a short press conference before wrapping it up until the new year. He should know that if anyone can spoil his plans is Jamie, who grabs him and pulls him into one of the rooms they use to review past games.
"Merlin's balls, Jamie, what are you doing here?" Scorpius half whispers and half yells. It's a skill he's learned from his father.
Jamie grabs his broom and tosses it aside.
"Careful with that, it's not a log for chopping."
"You don't chop wood. You split it," Jamie mumbles. "Aunt Hermione told me once."
"What? You're making no sense. First of all, you shouldn't be here. The visitors' side is on the opposite side of the stadium. The league will sanction you if they find you here. Second- yes, I don't care about chopping or splitting wood. Let's go back to the first point."
"I can't play and it's all your fault," Jamie says.
Scorpius is so confused that he doesn't know where to start. "What are you talking about? We just finished the game and you were brilliant out there."
"We lost." Jamie sounds miserable.
"Yes, by twenty points. It'll barely have an impact on the standings and that's thanks to you. You scored most of those points by yourself. Why are you risking a penalty for this? I don't get it." He just knows that this isn't about the game, but he can't figure it out. Jamie was fine when they went their separate ways the night before. "Did something happen?"
Jamie starts pacing, not looking at Scorpius. "I didn't have sex."
Through the years, Scorpius has learned to hear what Jamie says and translate it into what Jamie means. Any second it will click. Any second now. He shakes his head. "Nope, I got nothing. You'll have to give me more, because I haven't the foggiest."
"Last night, after the film-"
"When Wood called you to go out with the team," Scorpius continues.
"Yes, we were at the Three Broomsticks, and this woman, this gorgeous woman comes over. Big tits, a dress so tight that I could tell she wasn't wearing panties and so short that when she sat on my lap, I could see her cunt. Do you know how perfect that is?" Jamie asks.
The fog is starting to disappear. The picture that Jamie painted is Scorpius' worst nightmare, but he knows that it's not the same for Jamie. "Being bent, I'd say it's not perfect, but let's assume that I understand," he says, trying not to laugh. "Did she hit on you?"
"Hit on me? She put a hand on my cock and asked me if I wanted to fuck her. She asked me right there at the table, granted she whispered it in my ear, but she didn't care who'd overhear. A fuck, no strings." Jamie is frustrated and pacing doesn't seem to help. He stops in front of Scorpius and grabbed him by the arms. "I turned her down."
This is amusing, but he can't laugh, because Jamie really thinks it's the end of the world. Gryffindors can be rather dramatic for the wrong reasons. "Because you thought of me or because you knew that I'd hex your balls off after what we discussed?" Scorpius asks, curious.
Jamie winces. "Both?"
Scorpius ponders it for a moment and then shrugs. "I'll take it." After all, he doesn't expect Jamie to change his habits overnight. "Jamie, it's fine to turn down someone. Most people are actually used to rejections, even if you aren't." He presses a hand on Jamie's crotch and bites his ear. "Come to the manor after the press conference. I'll make you feel better"
"You're a tease," Jamie breathes.
Scorpius chuckles. "You don't know the half of it, Potter. Now, get your arse to your changing room, before they find you."
Jamie finally lets Scorpius go. "I played well."
"You played well," Scorpius reassures him. "Now I have to go."
"Hey, Malfoy," Jamie calls out when Scorpius is almost out. "You're a great seeker."
From Jamie, that's a declaration, a proposal and a wedding promise all wrapped in one. Scorpius leaves with a grin on his face.