Nabi thinks that somewhere deep down inside his heart, he feels guilty. Suleiman Wahdati was the kind of person who deserved another to love him, he had already been alone for so much of his life. And Nabi isn’t delusional enough to claim he didn’t love Suleiman, he really did. He loved Suleiman to the point where he was willing to send him off personally to the afterlife, despite having to let go of the one person in this world he could hold onto with both hands. Yet he didn’t love Suleiman in the way Suleiman wished, in the way that even Nabi wished he did.
He thinks he feels guilty because even if Mr. Wahdati hadn’t suffered a stroke, even if he had been able to live the life he wanted to; Navi wouldn’t want that. If he had a choice, he would relive this life over again, he believes he found true happiness with Suleiman. He wants Suleiman to stay with him; to continue standing by his side, the life partner who holds his hand into the unknown.
He thinks that Suleiman was born into the wrong time. He was always too sensitive, too feeling, too caring for the age they were born into. Then again, perhaps someone like Suleiman was never meant for normal people to begin with, he should have been born into a place and time with kind hearted people who felt no ill will towards others.
He thinks a lot about Suleiman, now that his time is coming as well. He’d like to think he’s not scared of death, but he’s always been a little scared of the unknown. He’s scared without Suleiman holding his hand, but if he managed to find Suleiman in this life, he knows he’ll find him again.