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Klaine Advent 2017

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“Rachel, help. I’m attached to Blaine.”

“Babe, you’re married to him, so I’d really hope you were, yeah.”

“No, I mean-”

“What do you mean, no? You’ve been starry-eyed for Blaine ever since you went to Dalton to spy on the competition. If looks could kill, you would have murdered me when we went on that date in high school. You’re attached, Kurt.”

“That’s not-”

“Oh, it’s so true, why are you trying to argue with me on this? Do you not want to be in love with your husband? Because you’ve tried breaking up, and it clearly hasn’t worked for you.”

“I need-”

“I know you need him, and he needs you too! You guys work so well together, it’s almost sickening. What’s that? Oh, Santana says it is sickening, no almost necessary.”

“RACHEL.”

“What?”

“I mean, I’m physically attached to Blaine. My brooch got caught in his sweater when I tried to hug him goodbye this morning, and now we’re stuck. Can you please come over and separate us, preferably without ripping his sweater or breaking my brooch?”

“Oh. I’m on my way!”

“And Rach?”

“Yes?”

“Ditch Santana before you get here. I’d like to live this down sometime before I find my first gray hairs.”

“Will do.”

Kurt appreciates that he only hears her burst into a deep belly laugh for a second before the line goes dead.