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Blue River was in a good mood. Last night, Blue Brook Guild had snatched three wild bosses - among them a level seventy, at long last - and the night of sweet dreams still tingled pleasantly in his mind. He made himself a cup of coffee, drank half of it in one go, and logged on to Blue Bridge Spring Snow.

Logged on to Blue Bridge Spring Snow.

Wait.

Why was there a red scarf? When did he trade his sword for an umbrella? Did he sleepwalk to the computer last night?

----

Cross-Server Forums>>>Announcements & News>>>Happy April Fools’!

GLORY: Happy April Fools’! This April, walk a day in someone else’s shoes.

Every account linked to the mainland Chinese server has been randomly assigned another account’s appearance. This effect will last for 24 hours, until the end of April 1st.

Players, note that while your account may have the appearance of someone else, you do not gain their class, stat points, equipment, experience or gold. You keep all the characteristics of your account; it is only your appearance and visible name that will be different to other players. Your appearance is fixed for these 24 hours; you may change equipment at will, but it will not be reflected on your avatar.

In the arena today, it is possible to have a Berserker use Dragon Breaks the Ranks, or a Spitfire use Heavenly Thunder Earthen Fire. We hope you enjoy the visuals of this event, and save videos accordingly. During this event PvP in the wild will not result in any loss of experience, gold or equipment. In all chats and forums, your original ID will be used.

In addition, a temporary ten-player dungeon and task has been released for this event, matched to your current level. Players may begin the task by visiting their nearest NPC. The dungeon can be entered once; there will be no records kept. In addition to dungeon rewards, clearing the dungeon will reward 1x Ghostly Face Mask per person, which will enable you to keep the appearance of the account you swapped with for an additional 12 hours. Ghostly Face Mask is tradeable and stackable, but must be used before the appearance wears off. Please remember that experience, gold, and equipment losses will become applicable again after April 1st, which Ghostly Face Mask will not prevent.

1L: TROUBLING RAIN 00:00:08

glory wtf wtf wtf??? all i wanted to do was steal a wild boss??? why did i suddenly become vaccaria i don’t want to become vaccaria wang jiexi wang jiexi pkpkpkpkpkpkpkpk wait if im vaccaria does that mean i can film vaccaria doing stupid things hahahahaha wang jiexi youre screwed hahahaha

View replies (most popular, top 5)

ID: Vaccaria 10:37:28 #1135
Name the room and time.

ID: Spicy Chicken Noodles 00:00:35 #1
Aaaaah huang shaotian appeared!!!!!!!!! edit: i replied first wow???

ID: Dazzling Hundred Blossoms 09:48:31 #999
hahahahahahaha huang shaotian you’re going to be murdered by tiny herb now

ID: Swoksaar 09:23:11 #951
Shaotian… why were you awake at midnight?

ID: Empty Waves 10:30:12 #1089
At least you know who it is? Captain got Unrivaled Super Hottie. Our manager is trying to find who owned the account so he can buy it now… who even calls himself Unrivaled Super Hottie?

---

Blue River closed the forums. He looked at the time. He called Changing Spring.

“I’m taking sick leave,” he announced.

“Are you sick?” Changing Spring asked.

“No.”

“Who’s account did you get?” Flying Brushstroke’s voice shouted at Blue River through the speaker. In the background, he could hear Chilling Nightfall and Ice of Dawn making curious noises.

“Lord Grim.”

“...Take sick leave.”

----

“Ye Xiu Ye Xiu Ye Xiu! Who did you get? Did you get One Autumn Leaf?” This was the string of questions that assaulted Ye Xiu when he went down to get breakfast. He decided to ignore them in favour of the hot soy milk on the counter.

It was a good choice. The hot soy was just balanced on the edges of burning and not-burning, and sweet and not-sweet. He blew on it and sipped.

“Ye Xiu! Are you listening?” Chen Guo demanded. “Huang Shaotian got Vaccaria!”

That made him fully wake up from the sweet world of dreams. Unless Blue Rain and Tiny Herb both utterly lost their minds, Huang Shaotian would probably never get within an inch of Vaccaria in his life. Wang Jiexi would smother him with a pillow first. He even had experience with it.

Eventually, Ye Xiu got the full story out of Chen Guo. If he was honest, the new dungeon was a lot more interesting than an avatar swap, and the loss of equipment drops was just disappointing, but Huang Shaotian with Vaccaria… well. Huang Shaotian’s Weibo would have it anyway.

“Wei Chen! Who did you get?” Chen Guo had spotted her next victim. “Don’t smoke in the kitchen!”

Ye Xiu logged on to his account. Lord Grim had been replaced with a not-particularly-good Blade Master. In fact, none of the Blade Master’s equipment was a level over 60, so it was probably an inactive account as well. Maybe the owner just grew out of their ID and didn’t want to be called ‘The Biggest Sword’ anymore.

Tang Rou had been downgraded to someone who, if the equipment was any indication, had stopped before level 35. It was the same for nearly everyone else, although Steamed Bun had at least snagged a fully leveled account. A fully leveled Cleric, actually. “Boss, where did my Steamed Bun go?”

“Check the announcements,” Ye Xiu advised. “It’s okay, you can still use Brawler skills.”

He logged on to a few alt accounts. Let There Be Light and Unrivaled Super Hottie were both equally random names, while Sullen Kitten… Sullen Kitten…

Ye Xiu screenshotted Sullen Kitten’s new appearance and sent it into the QQ chat. A full thirty seconds later, the chat exploded.

----

Zhang Jiale had been having a bad morning even before the news rolled in.

First of all, he’d ran out of snacks. Then the canteen had ran out of his favourite breakfast food. Then he’d discovered that Glory had swapped everyone’s avatars around, and his Dazzling Hundred Blossoms had probably been the only account unlucky enough to have been assigned the appearance of...Dazzling Spring.

Who the fuck managed to pull their own alt account from a draw of a few million accounts? What kind of absolute bullshit was this?

Even Huang Shaotian had managed to pull Vaccaria. Zhang Jiale would have… well, not have been happy , but it would have at least been better than getting his own account! He could have videoed Vaccaria doing things Wang Jiexi would never be caught dead doing! Although, on second thought, Huang Shaotian was probably better suited to do that than him.

His QQ beeped. Normally they would be training, but since Desert Dust had become a newbie Qi Master and Immovable Rock a fully leveled Berserker, even Zhang Xinjie had cracked under the sight and signed them the day off. Zhang Jiale opened his QQ. Lin Jingyan peered over his shoulder.

“Fuck,” they said, in perfect unison.

Lord Grim: [screenshot]

The contents of that screenshot? Desert Dust, of course. Every stat, equipment and skill point of the original account was perfectly visible, and as for the name...

Zhang Jiale closed the window. “We aren’t going to talk about this,” he told Lin Jingyan, who was still holding his cup noodles in midair, mouth hanging open.

Lin Jingyan closed his mouth. He lowered his cup noodles. He turned on the other computer. “Why don’t we run through that temporary dungeon,” he said, his voice carefully level.

“That’s a really good idea,” Zhang Jiale said.

Maybe it would bleach the words Desert Dust (Sullen Kitten) [Paladin] from his brain.

----

Zhou Zekai was also not having a good morning.

Cloud Piercer had been replaced with a Knight. A Knight called Unrivaled Super Hottie. A Knight called Unrivaled Super Hottie who Samsara’s head and Samsara’s manager and Samsara’s press organiser all wanted to buy.

They had to cancel training because Du Ming and Fang Minghua were laughing too hard over it. “It’s not even inaccurate, Captain,” Du Ming had said, very seriously. “You are the Unrivaled Super Hottie.”

And Jiang Botao had even posted it into the forums… Empty Waves was a perfectly casual Ghostblade, and nobody else had drawn an ID as… eye-catching as his. Even if Jiang Botao hadn’t posted Zhou Zekai’s ID, chances were pretty high that Unrivaled Super Hottie would never be able to move unmolested anyway. But since everyone knew Unrivaled Super Hottie was him, Unrivaled Super Hottie definitely couldn’t move an inch out of the crowd that had gathered. At least they were all immune from equipment loss today.

He switched screens to the QQ chat instead. Today was unusually lively, not least because Huang Shaotian had already spammed the chat with 99+ messages before they’d all even woken up. Half of them were flying barbs at Wang Jiexi. The other half was general wailing. Zhou Zekai had deleted them all without looking.

Then Lord Grim’s screenshot appeared. All of a sudden, Zhou Zekai felt a lot better about being stuck with the title “Unrivaled Super Hottie”. At least he wasn’t Han Wenqing, who… who…

Who had his account appearance assigned to (one of) his oldest enemy’s accounts, which happened to be a Paladin, by the name of Sullen Kitten. In comparison, Unrivaled Super Hottie (Cloud Piercer) [Sharpshooter] was positively lovely.

Troubling Rain: [zhou zekai’s awkward silence.jpg]
Troubling Rain: [crickets.jpg]
Troubling Rain: [wang jiexi kneeling on the ground laughing.gif]
Troubling Rain: hahahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha this is amazing???
Swoksaar: [the yu wenzhou smile.jpg]
Vaccaria: [jiang botao glaring at shower gel.jpg]
Vaccaria: You do realise Han Wenqing is one of the moderators, right?
System Announcement: [Troubling Rain] has been removed from the chat by [Desert Dust]
System Announcement: [Lord Grim] has invited [Troubling Rain] into the chat
Troubling Rain: this is moderator abuse i only spoke like one sentence old han this is an abuse of power i object!!!
System Announcement: [Desert Dust] has silenced [Troubling Rain] for 10 minutes
Bullet Rain: i feel so much stress
Lord Grim: [a strange light flashed in zhang xinjie’s glasses.gif]
Immovable Rock: [a strange light flashed in xiao shiqin’s glasses.gif]
Life Extinguisher: [a strange light flashed in yu wenzhou’s eyes.gif]
Swoksaar: [zhou zekai’s face of innocence.jpg]
Cloud Piercer:
Dancing Rain: [waddling penguins.gif]
Windy Rain: [angry wave.gif]
Empty Waves: [wang jiexi sighing into the distance.jpg]
Lord Grim: Is this another meme war?
Dancing Rain: [han wenqing trying to smile.gif] 

Zhou Zekai decisively clicked the ‘shut down’ icon.

----

There was a headache building behind his eyes. Wang Jiexi was beginning to regret agreeing to PK Huang Shaotian.

First of all, seeing Vaccaria charge at him? Weird . Seeing Vaccaria use Formless Phantom Blade? Horrific. Having a million speech bubbles fill his screen as Vaccaria produced a Falling Light Blade by swinging Stardust Extermination? Death would be preferable, please and thank you.

Wang Jiexi your focus is shit today hahahahaha prepare to lose watch out watch out watch out ” A magnificently large speech bubble appeared on his screen. He resisted the urge to scream, cry, or find whoever had managed to get Troubling Rain’s appearance and beat them up several times. It would feel so good.

Big eyes big eyes are you still there why have you stopped moving hahahahaha i can’t believe you just got hit with that are you like bowing to my superiority blue rain will graciously accept hahahaha

Wang Jiexi took a deep breath. Then he did the two things that no single member of Blue Rain would ever predict, as befitting the baffling Magician; he sent the entire of Blue Rain six popup windows to a site for Shaolin Monastery, and pulled the power on the computer.

“Yuan Baiqing!” he called. “Book us at one of your favourite restaurants. Make sure it serves fish. I’ll foot the bill.”

-----

Heavenly Domain>>>General Discussion>>>what should i do if someone is aggressively killing me

MANGO SMOOTHIE: some background: today I got a blade master account called “troubled rain”. Which isn’t troubling rain but at least its kind of close but?? since seven p.m. i’ve just been repeatedly killed by an entire group of people led by a witch turned sharpshooter, idk what his actual ID is but he’s just been killing me over and over really quickly? I’m not a pro by any means but like surely you’re not meant to be able to kill someone in half orange armour that quickly online so can someone explain wtf is going on/help me??

1L: Crunchy Sound 20:08:12
rip my dude u just got unlucky
there’ve been other people hunted down too for their IDs today so at least youre not alone?
...

170L: Smoky Quartz 20:58:48
imagine if it was actually the tiny herb team trying to hunt down troubling rain but they misread your un lmao @Mango Smoothie
...

175L: Mango Smoothie 21:00:43
@Smoky Quartz holy shit so when i revived again i yelled that i wasn’t troubling rain i was troubled rain and they actually took a double take and then backed off you might be onto something there
...

385L: Troubling Rain 21:18:33
hahahaha wang jiexi you sore loser @Vaccaria @Vaccaria @Vaccaria bullying normal players for having a similar id to me?? wow watch out on weibo hahahahahahaha
...

390L: Mango Smoothie 21:18:43
HOLY SHIT A GOD APPEARED ON MY VENT MY LIFE IS COMPLETE BYE ASAFGHJKL

This thread has been locked by request. No further comments can be made.

-----

“How many Ghostly Face Masks do we have now?” Ye Xiu asked.

“Two hundred and thirteen on the tenth server,” Chen Guo replied. “And another sixty-four in the Heavenly Domain. Wow, nobody wants these things, do they?”

That was hardly unexpected. Apart from the few players lucky enough to get a pro account appearance (and maybe the dedicated guild players who got a high guild account appearance), why would anyone prefer to keep a foreign face instead of their own character? There were all sorts of problems with keeping another character’s appearance, anyway - what if the original account holder had a bad reputation? Keeping that appearance was just asking to be repeatedly and mistakenly revenge killed. While Ghostly Face Mask had some interesting deceptive potential in the Arena, having to activate it before April Fools’ wore off was too high of a price unless a player was prepared to spend the rest of their Glory life in the Arena. Or maybe if an account holder had a bad reputation and wore Ghostly Face Mask in order to pretend to be someone without that reputation.

Both scenarios would only ever apply to a handful of players. Add that on to the fact that Ye Xiu and Huang Shaotian had removed two pro account appearances from the pool, factor in inactive accounts, plus their expiring at the end of the day, and the demand for Ghostly Face Masks would never be high. You couldn’t even put them in auctions without being reminded that they would expire. So after Chen Guo had posted an announcement saying they were acceptable guild donations for points, the Ghostly Face Masks had begun flooding in. Anyone and everyone who had passed the temporary dungeon seemed to have dumped it into the Treasury. They’d even gotten a flood of new applications to Happy because people were so desperate to get rid of them.

The beneficiary of all this? Sullen Kitten, of course. Ye Xiu had already applied forty Ghostly Face Masks to the Paladin, and all the masks in both treasuries were destined for Sullen Kitten. If Chen Guo didn’t know that it was Ye Xiu behind this, she would have said it was a really devoted Han Wenqing fan. As it was, she still couldn’t be 100% sure that it wasn’t Ye Xiu’s secretly hidden Desert Dust fanboy coming out. Ye Xiu had a habit of doing that to people.

Ye Xiu finished extending Desert Dust’s appearance on Sullen Kitten. The guilds’ Ghostly Face Masks, plus the ones he’d bought for pennies off the market, were enough to extend Sullen Kitten’s appearance all the way to Season Eleven. “Now this account is going to be the ultimate trump card against Tyranny. Hey, if we actually gave them proper equipment, do you think An Wenyi would agree to use Sullen Kitten against Tyranny?”

“No,” An Wenyi said helpfully.

“Shame, just imagine his expression.”

If Ye Xiu was about to say anything else, it was cut off when both his and Wei Chen’s QQs started beeping. “Ten yuan it’s Huang Shaotian?” Wei Chen suggested.

Ye Xiu gave him a disgusted look. “I’d rather save it and buy a pack,” he said, opening the QQ. At least it hadn’t spammed into the 99+ that had greeted them all this morning.

Troubling Rain: [link]
Troubling Rain: hahahahahahaha
Troubling Rain: i did promise @vaccaria hahahaha your move
Empty Waves: O.O
Cloud Piercer: O.O
Dazzling Hundred Blossoms: shouldn’t it be O.o ?
Windy Rain: O.o
Swoksaar: I never realised Vaccaria was so...flexible. @Vaccaria?
Carved Ghost: O.o
Sobbing Ghost: O.o
[Flying Sword] deleted one message
Vaccaria: [photo]
Vaccaria: Liu Xiaobie, extra training tomorrow 

“Keep an eye out on Weibo and be ready to scavenge,” Ye Xiu said, closing the window. “We might even get lucky and have the guilds start a world war. Some more orange equipment is always useful.”

-----

Huang Shaotian-V: [Video of Vaccaria, standing alone on the side of a mountain. Around Vaccaria are speech bubbles containing the lyrics of Conquered, set to the background music of the song. When the song finishes, one final speech bubble floats up, declaring that Blue Rain is the best team in the universe, and Tiny Herb bows before them.]

Wang Jiexi-V: [Photo of the entire Tiny Herb team seated around a table, eating roast fish. Yuan Baiqing is in the middle of ripping a poster of Troubling Rain, which has Wang Jiexi’s signature scrawled over its face.] @Yu Wenzhou-V

Yu Wenzhou-V: I never took Captain Wang for a sore loser. But then again, it was a nearly total defeat (smile)(smile)// Wang Jiexi-V: [photo]

-----

Chairman Feng placed down the last newspaper, then reached for his pills. Five different publications had five different stories on the front page; even the tabloids couldn’t keep up. At this rate he was going to have a heart attack.

GOD WANG JIEXI REPEATEDLY KILLS CASUAL PLAYER, THE REASON WILL SHOCK YOU!

AN INTERVIEW WITH LIN JINGYAN: I NEVER KNEW VICE-CAPTAIN ZHANG WAS SO VIOLENT

DESERT DUST, THE KITTEN PALADIN

HUANG SHAOTIAN’S VIDEO: WILL “VACCARIA” APPEAR IN BLUE RAIN’S LINEUP?

SAMSARA PURCHASES ACCOUNT “UNRIVALED SUPER HOTTIE” FOR FIFTY THOUSAND YUAN; ZHOU ZEKAI WINS FAN AWARD “MOST HANDSOME” THREE TIMES IN A ROW