Nothing seemed real. Midway station was about to self-destruct to prevent the Wraith from gaining a foothold on Earth, and John was... John was dead, and Rodney was the one who had killed him. He could not have survived the venting of the atmosphere, and the thought of never seeing him again had left Rodney feeling numb to the core of his being. He wasn't exactly sure what caught his attention in the E.V.A. Prep Room as the survivors moved swiftly towards the Puddlejumper, almost dismissing his gut feeling, but he couldn't resist checking the spacesuits hanging up awkwardly against the wall, eyes widening when he turned on the helmet light and saw John's face.
The Daedalus must have headed out from Earth within a day to reach them so quickly, though John had made an executive decision to lock himself into the cockpit by the second day. Rodney joined him on the third day, needing a break from the idiocy that was Kavanagh and Lee for a few hours. He had to suffer through Johnny Cash until he figured out a way to build a set of earphones for John but to be honest it was less torturous than believing John was dead.
"I-I thought I killed you," he stuttered on the fourth day.
John grimaced. "I'm sorry... but you did good, Rodney."
"Good," Rodney spat out.
If good was killing his best friend then he would rather be bad, but he knew he would do it again if John ordered. He would vent the atmosphere not knowing if John could reach safety in time. He would save the others, save Earth, and afterwards he would run away to grieve the loss of something he never knew he wanted until recently... John. And that was the reality of his life in Pegasus.
Rodney wasn't aware of John moving from his seat until he felt a warm hand cup his face and warmer lips press against his and for once Rodney was not the one to see that coming rather than John. In the confines of a Puddlejumper, with other survivors just beyond the sealed cockpit doors this was as far as they could go. Just kissing and holding on to each other with whispered promises of more once they reached Atlantis.
It was more than he had a few days earlier, and for now it was enough.