Chapter Text
45 Minutes Later
0613 hours
David West
As I lead Keegan and Logan through the compound, I can't help but have a smile on my face.
I can't believe that this is actually the Keegan Russ!
He's a legend.
He doesn't seem to be so fond of it, though.
I guess I would be a bit overwhelmed, too. When we were eating in the mess hall, Keegan kept getting swarmed by a bunch of the younger soldiers, asking questions and gawking at him. He seemed really uncomfortable, so I got them out of there.
Now on our way to see Captain Holt, Keegan won't stop telling Logan what he was like. I smirk, then turn around to them as we reach an outpost.
“Keegan, Captain Holt is up in the command center. Are you ready to see him?” I ask, and Keegan nods, and I see excitement in his eyes.
“Yeah.”
I smirk. Turning to the intercom, I push the button.
“Sergeant West requesting entrance.” I say, and the intercom comes back.
“West, you are authorised in.”
I turn back to Logan and Keegan with a smile.
“Come on.” I lead them in the door, and as we start up the stairs, a man my age stops me with a grin.
“David, you know you don't have to do that, right? You're allowed to just come right in.” He says with a laugh, and I smirk, then elbow him, his messy hair falling into his eyes.
“Ah, shut it, Max. We're going up to see Captain Holt. This guy here used to be his prodigy soldier.” I say, thumbing towards Keegan. Keegan awkwardly rubs the back of his head. Max looks him up and down, then smiles.
“Cap’ll be pleased, then.” He says, and I nod. Keegan and Logan follow me up the stairs, and as I open the door, they look around at all the screens and satellite images on the dashes. Twenty of our soldiers are up here, watching and monitoring for any Federation activity. Looking towards the biggest screen, I see the Captain standing with his arms crossed, staring at it.
“Do we have any intel whatsoever?” He asks, and the soldier next to him, Travis, shakes his head.
“No, sir. We haven't had any contact with the Federation in months. We don't even know where they were last.” He says.
“I do.”
A voice behind me says, and I turn to see Keegan and Logan look at each other, then at the Captain. Logan nods his head.
“We do. We were in their base two months ago. When, well,....” He catches Keegan’s eye, then looks back.
“Anyway, we know exactly where one of their bases is. Keegan figured it out.” He says, and Holt’s eyes widen.
He raises his eyebrow, then a smile breaks out on his face.
“Keegan Russ. I never thought I'd see you again.” He remarks, and Keegan walks forward to shake the Captain’s hand with a grin.
“Holt. Been a while. Good to see you.” He says, and Holt nods.
“Yeah. Thirteen years, kid. How you doing, Russ?” He asks, and Keegan shrugs his shoulders.
“Made Sergeant. Led through many battles as a Ghost.” He says, and Holt’s eyebrow raises.
“A Ghost, huh? Man, have you grown up. I see you're still sniping.” He says, gesturing to the rifle strapped to Keegan’s back. Keegan nods.
“Best marksman in the Marines.” He replies, and Holt grins.
“That's the kid I taught. I bet you've made a great leader.” Holt compliments, and Keegan nods, then his voice drops a little as he frowns.
“But I lost many soldiers. My friends, and …..” He catches Logan’s eye.
“My brother.” His voice cracks, and Holt sighs, then puts his hand on Keegan’s shoulder.
“Russ, you're the strongest soldier I've ever seen. The most impressive kid ever, and I know that those men who died died knowing that they had lost their lives for the greatest Marine there is.” He says, and Keegan looks up with wide eyes, then grins a little.
“You know, you're still as sappy as ever.” He jokes, and Holt laughs.
“And you're just as snarky as ever. Come on. Let's go catch up.” He says and Keegan catches Logan’s eye, who gives him a nod. Keegan follows Holt, laughing with him, and I smile. Logan crosses his arms.
“Haven't seen Keegan that happy in a while.” He says, and I nod.
“Nor has the Captain acted that way in a while. It's good that they got to see each other again.” I respond, and Logan nods.
He sighs, then turns around. I raise my eyebrow.
“Logan what is it?” I ask as I follow him down the stairs. Logan shakes his head and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jacket.
“Nothing. It's just…” He looks up at me.
“Keegan is the only family I have left now. Seeing him makes me happy, but also...it just reminds me of how happy he was when he, Hesh and I were together.” He says, and I frown.
“Your brother...David….He was shot?” I ask, and Logan bites his lip as we walk, then nods. He turns to me, and I see his blue eyes are sad.
”Can we talk? Like, just the two of us? I just need to let you understand all that happened.” He says, and I glance around, then nod.
“C’mon. We can go to the barracks. That's where you'll be staying. Same barracks as me, actually.” I say, and Logan nods. I sigh, then put my hand on his shoulder.
“Don't worry, Logan. You can tell me anything.” I say as we walk back to D-quadrant. Logan nods.
“Good. There's a lot to tell.”
3 hours later
0927 hours
Logan
David stares at me with wide eyes after hearing our entire story. Wiping my nose, I blink back tears.
“I lost my dad and my brother, then I almost lost Keegan. I can't….I can't take any more pain.” I mutter, and David sighs, then puts his arm around my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Logan. All the shit you had to go through, along with Keegan’s pain. You're still young, and no one your age should have to deal with that.” He comforts, and I nod slowly.
“That's what Hesh said….that he was sorry that I had to deal with that.” I sniffle, and David bites his lip, then sighs.
“If you want me to leave you alone because it hurts, then I can…” He says slowly, and I turn to him with sad eyes.
“I mean….I dunno. It's weird. I miss Hesh, and seeing you kinda hurts, but at the same time it's really comforting.” I explain, and David sighs.
“How bout this. I leave you alone for a while so you can think things through. Is that okay?” He asks, and I hesitate, then nod.
“Yeah. Thanks, David.” I say with a slight grin. He smiles, and pats my shoulder.
“No problem.” David stands up and walks away, and I sigh, leaning forward. I rest my chin in my hand, my arm propped on my leg.
I miss him…..
Having David around is kind of like having Hesh back, but it's not the same.
I can't deal with it.
Maybe I should stay away from David for a while.
Actually, even though we just began anew here, I can't deal with anyone right now.
Standing up, I walk out of the barracks and outside. I start to walk away, then a voice behind me makes me turn.
“Logan!”
Keegan runs up, and he smiles at me.
“Logan! Good to see you! Sorry I haven't been around, I was talking to Holt and some other soldiers.” He says with a grin, then it disappears when he sees my depressed expression.
“Logan, what's wrong?” He asks with concern, and I shake my head.
“I just…..I kinda want to be left alone, okay?” I murmur, and Keegan raises his eyebrow, then slowly nods.
“Um, okay….I guess I'll see you later then.” He says quietly, then he turns and walks away.
After about twenty feet, he looks over his shoulder with a sad frown, then keeps walking.
I cross my arms, lightly hugging myself, then walk towards the edge of the camp, climbing the stairs to the wall. Leaning against it, I look out towards the ocean, sighing.
Dammit. Why can't I get rid of these painful feelings?
Seeing David West, seeing Keegan happy, those should make me feel good. But instead they just stab at me inside, and I don't know why.
Maybe it's because of how much David reminds me of my David. His face, his hair, his smile, his voice, his caring persona, his leadership as a soldier. It feels so familiar, but at the same time, it feels so far away.
Maybe it's also how Keegan’s been acting. He's just more irrational, and seems like he's angry sometimes, and could blow up at anything. He blew up at me when I mentioned Thrash, and I couldn't even go near him for a good 4 hours.
Shaking my head, I close my eyes, smelling the salt air and feeling the cool ocean breeze on my face. A tear runs down my face. Why is it so painful? I just want it to go away.
0929 hours
Keegan
Walking over towards the barracks, I see Merrick and Spike talking outside. Spike looks up, and smiles when he sees me.
“Keegan! Where have you been?” He asks, and I sigh.
“There's something wrong with Logan. I don't know what, but I just feel like he's really unhappy. He's avoiding me and David West.” I explain. Merrick raises his eyebrow.
“West? Why is he avoiding West?” He asks, and I sigh.
“I’m surprised you didn't notice. West looks exactly like Hesh.” I say, and both Spike and Merrick’s eyes widen. I nod.
“It's weird. I mean, it's comforting, but at the same time, I think it's hurting Logan.” I reveal, and Merrick sighs.
“Keegan, he needs you more than anything. You're his brother. If anyone can comfort him right now, it's you.” He says, and I nod.
“Now I just need to find him.” I mutter.
“I know where he is.” A voice behind me says, and I turn to see Jimmy walking over.
He thumbs behind him.
“I saw him over by the east wall. Just sort of standing there. I dunno.” He says, and I nod.
“Thanks, Jimmy.”
Looking over at Spike and Merrick, I sigh.
“I’m gonna go and see him. I'll be back a little later.” I say, then I turn and run towards the wall.
I hope he's okay. I don't know what it is, but he seems unhappy.
And it looked like he was trying to avoid me. I don't know why.
What did I do?
Is he mad at me?
Or is it about David…
Sighing, I see the wall, and someone standing against the wall. Running up the stairs, I see Logan leaning against the wall, looking out at the ocean. I slow down, and bite my lip.
“Logan?” I ask quietly, and he tenses, but stares straight ahead. I frown and walk closer.
“Logan, what is it?” I ask, and Logan sighs, then turns to me. His eyes are pained and sad, and I sigh. Logan shakes his head.
“Keegan, I told you, just leave me alone. I can't deal with this right now.” He says, and I raise my eyebrow.
“Can't deal with what? Logan, you can talk to me!” I express, and Logan closes his eyes, fists clenching.
“I can't deal with how I feel! Seeing David again in a sense, and the way you've been acting!” He says, and I raise my eyebrow.
“What do you mean? How have I been acting?” I ask defensively, and Logan meets my eyes.
“You're so on edge! Ever since Thrash took you, you've been unstable and just erratic!” He expresses, and my eyes widen when he mentions Thrash, then narrow.
“What do you mean, ‘unstable’?! Logan, I am completely fine! You know, Merrick said the same thing last week! I’M FINE!! I don't need my little brother harping on me! All the Ghosts always did that because they thought I couldn't handle myself! I don't need you to start on it, too!! ” I yell harshly, and Logan throws his hands up in the air angrily.
“See what I mean?! I say one tiny thing and you blow up on me! I’m not saying you're not capable of handling yourself, it's just...last time you went nuts, you almost got yourself killed and…..I can't lose you, alright? Hesh went nuts and he was okay, but...he died, Keegan, and I can't watch you die, too.”
He takes a deep breath, then looks up at me.
“Now leave me alone. I don't...I just want to work things out alone.” Logan mutters, and I bite my lip, then step towards him a little.
“Logan….I...I’m sorry. I just..” I sigh, and shake my head.
“Shit, I never meant to hurt you...I’m sorry. I guess I'll leave you alone, then.” I say solemnly. Logan nods, then starts to walk away.
“Just...don't follow me, okay? Please. I can't….I don't know what I'll do if you do.” He says with a slightly harsh tone, and I raise my eyebrow, then grit my teeth.
“What, Logan? What are you going to do? Are you going to kill me? Like you killed your father? YOU shot him! Are you going to kill me, too?! GO AHEAD!! DO IT!! Then at least I'll be out of this shit hole and with David!” I shout aggressively, and Logan spins around, his wide eyes full of pain and rage.
“IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?! That I killed my father?! That I want to kill you?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVER SAY THAT!!” He yells upsetly, then takes a deep breath.
“If..if you really think that that's what really happened when....when....that day, then I don't see the point in staying here. Family wouldn't EVER do that. Not brothers. At least DAVID wouldn't.”
He shakes his head, clenching his fist.
Logan looks up to glare at me.
“If that's what you really think, you ass, then I’m leaving. I have no family left, so why stay? You're not my brother.” He growls, then he spins and runs off.
I feel my heart shatter, and I reach my hand after him, wide-eyed.
“No, wait, Logan! LOGAN, I’M SORRY!!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!”
Tears hover on the edge of my eyes as I watch him disappear from view.
“Please…. You're the only family I have….”
I stumble back against the wall, holding my head in my hands.
“David told me to protect you…..come back…” I sob, shoulders shaking.
Tears cascade down my face as I slide down the wall to collapse to the ground.
I hurt Logan….
Why am I such a horrible friend? I've gotten so many of my friends killed, and now my best friend hates me….
The only person I really had left.
Closing my eyes and hugging my knees to my chest, my shoulder shake as I cry, tears staining my pants.
“Logan…”