Chapter Text
10 years earlier
LOGAN
I run after Hesh, breathing hard.
“Come on, Logan!” He shouts at me with an authoritative tone.
I groan.
“I don't see why we're sprinting! It's not like the damn world is ending!” I shout back angrily.
Hesh stops and spins around to look at me, eyes narrowed. I skid to a stop, startled at this expression my brother has locked on me.
“Logan, do you even want to be a soldier?” He asks, and I pause.
“What do you mean?” I question, and Hesh shakes his head.
“Logan, you know what I mean. It seems like you just don't care. Now, I know you're still a kid-”
“I’M NOT A KID!!” I yell defensively, and Hesh raises his eyebrows, crossing his arms.
“Logan, you're sixteen. That's still a kid.” He says, and I frown, glancing to the side.
“Well you're only eighteen, so shut up.” I mutter under my breath.
Hesh glares at me, then sighs heavily.
“Do you want to be a soldier?” He asks again as my gaze slowly swings back up to him.
“I mean…..yeah. I want to be like you. Like dad.” I say softly. Hesh nods.
“Then take this seriously. Dad sent us out here to get us ready. Training. Now are you going to listen or not?” He demands, and I shrink back, then take a deep breath, straightening up.
“Yes.” I answer, and Hesh nods.
“Good. Let's go.” He says, turning around to run again. I follow shortly.
We run through the city just outside the wall to Santa Monica. The only safe area for miles.
And calling it safe would be an overstatement.
It's not safe.
The large ravines and cracks created when ODIN fired run through the city, and tremors still occur daily.
But it's as safe as it's going to get for now.
Glancing up, I can see Hesh far ahead me, and I sprint to catch up with him.
Still getting used to the weight of the backpack and gear I wear, I run a little slower.
How does Hesh seem to be so acclimated to it already?
Hesh stops as he jumps on top of a car, looking back towards me.
I grit my teeth, trying to match my brother’s determination. Climbing up next to him, he grins a little.
“Good. You're doing well, Logan.” He comments, and I sigh, taking a deep breath.
“Are we almost back?” I ask, and Hesh nods, turning his head over his shoulder.
“Almost. Entrance to the fort is just ahead.” He says, pointing forward.
“Let's go, then.” I say, and Hesh smirks.
“I see you're ready to go. Good.” We jump down from the car, and start running towards the pipe that cuts through the wall to the other side, to the entrance of the fort.
Our footsteps echo as we enter the pipe, and the dim light casts shadows behind us. Stepping out the other side, the bright light blinds me for a moment, then I shake it away.
Following Hesh down the road, I see the entrance up ahead. The large doors that seal off the safe part of the city and the fort.
“Come on!” Hesh yells as we sprint towards it.
I can see one of the other soldiers, a man named Davis, waiting for us at the entrance, leaning against a truck with his arms crossed. As we near, Hesh glances over at me slightly. I keep my gaze focused ahead.
Reaching Davis, Hesh and I stop, catching our breath. Davis uncrosses his arms, and stands up straight.
“Well you boys took your time.” He says, and I glance awkwardly at Hesh, who glares at me. He turns to Davis.
“Momentary issue. It WON'T happen again.” He says harshly, eyes meeting mine.
I bite my lip, and try to avoid his eyes.
Davis sighs.
“Well, get in. Your father is wondering where the hell you boys have been.” He says as the doors to the compound open for us. Hesh and I both climb in the truck, him sitting in the front with Davis, as I sit down in the back, leaning against the wall of the truck where the soldiers stand when on guard duty.
I take a deep breath, and close my eyes.
I need to get my act together. Hesh is right. We're training to be soldiers. I want to be like him. I want to be like dad. I have to work hard. And I will. Clenching my fist, I nod to myself.
I WILL be a soldier. I will.
The truck stops as we reach the command post, and Hesh jumps out. He nods at Davis.
“Thanks Corporal.” He says, then he glances to me.
“Come on, Logan.” He calls, and I stand up, vaulting over the edge of the truck. Jumping to the ground, I follow Hesh inside the garage, then up the stairs.
As we walk through the doors at the top, I look around at all the soldiers at their computers, tracking the movements of the Federation.
The Federation. The ones who started all of this. The ones who destroyed America.
“Dad.” Hesh calls, and I snap back to the present. Our father stands at one of the large computer screens, and he turns around when he hears Hesh. His arms cross when he sees us.
“Hesh. Logan. You two have been gone awhile.” He says, his eyes moving between us.
Hesh takes a deep breath, looking at me.
“We need to talk.” He says, his gaze still locked on me. I flinch, and dad raises his eyebrow.
“What about?” He asks, and Hesh finally moves his harsh gaze away from me to meet dad’s eyes.
“Can we talk upstairs?” He asks, and dad looks around, then nods.
“Let's go.” He says, leading us upstairs to the outpost.
I follow slowly behind him, with Hesh behind me. I can feel his eyes boring into the back of my head, and I sigh.
Walking into the open, empty room, dad turns around to face us as we stop in front of him, Hesh moving to stand next to me.
Dad raises his eyebrow.
“What’s this about?” He asks, and Hesh takes a deep breath, then looks over at me.
“Logan isn't taking the training seriously. I don't know why, but I don't even know what to do with him.” He answers, and my eyes widen as dad looks at me with a sigh.
I glance between them, then shake my head.
“NO, I….I just…..I DO want to be a soldier! Like you! But….” I trail off, and hang my head.
“I don't know…” I mutter, and dad puts his hand on my shoulder.
“Logan.” I look up to meet his eyes to see they’re sympathetic and understanding.
“I know that this is hard for you. You're still very young. This is a big change. Your brother is two years older than you. He just has a bit more….well…..”
He glances up at Hesh, who raises his eyebrow. Dad turns back to me.
“Ambition. He's always been responsible. I don't expect you to be a perfect soldier right off the bat, Logan. I really don't. It's okay. I know that over time, you'll be just like your brother, and you'll make amazing soldiers.” He says caringly, and I feel a thankful smile creep across my face.
Dad takes his hand from my shoulder, and turns to Hesh.
“I know that you think your little brother isn't taking it seriously, but he is. He's just not as ready as you yet. Step back a bit, Hesh. Look at it from his point of view. I know that you were immediately ready to be a soldier. Logan wasn't. You need to understand that.” He says, and Hesh nods with a sigh.
“Yes, dad.” He turns to me with an apologetic look.
“I’m sorry Logan. I'll help you from now on. With everything.” He says, and I smile.
“Thanks, Hesh.” He smirks, and walks to put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into a headlock.
“Just know that just because I’m helping you, doesn't mean I'll go easy on you! You're gonna be a soldier, Logan. And I'll teach you how.” He says, and dad laughs.
“I can see you two are going to make excellent team.” He says with a smile, and I look up at my big brother, who meets my eyes.
He grins, with caring eyes.
“Don't worry, Logan. I’m gonna take care of you.”
Present day
LOGAN
As I open my eyes, I sigh.
Tears have stained my face for the past two days.
He's gone.
He's actually gone.
He taught me everything.
Everything.
Leaning my head back against the wall I sit against, I take a deep breath.
My big brother is dead.
David…..
What the hell do I do now?
He was my world.
And now Keegan is hurt, too.
He's like another brother to me. Same age and likeness as David.
The two people I care about. Why is everything being taken from me?
My family is dead.
First dad, now Hesh.
More tears drip down my face, and I slowly stand up. Walking down the hallway, I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my jacket.
After the Ghosts showed up in Santa Monica, they took us all to the safe house in Colorado Springs. Davis and his men, too.
Walking past the kitchen, Gavin steps out, meeting my eyes. He hesitates, then looks at me sympathetically.
“How you doing, kid?” He asks caringly, and I sigh.
“Gavin, my brother is dead . How the hell do you think I’m doing?” I mutter, then I shove past him.
I've been on edge and avoiding everyone. I just can't believe what happened. My mind is still trying to deny that David is…is…..
I blink away the thought, then turn to the command room. To my surprise, no one is in here. I sit down at the computer, and flick it on. Pulling up my mission messages, my finger hovers over the mouse as I stare at the messages from when Hesh and I were contacting each other while on different missions.
My hesitation ends, and I click the folder. A string of messages comes up, all sent between Hesh and I two years ago, when we were separated for different objectives.
I pull up the first one, and start to read through them.
Jan. 15, 2025
H: Hey Logan. Good luck with Keegan in Los Angeles taking care of the Federation group. I know it's dangerous up there, so be careful. I'll keep you updated on Merrick and I as we try to find the Fed base in Arizona. Just take care of yourself, little bro.
Jan. 16, 2025
L: David, Keegan and I found some soldiers today, but they wouldn't talk about where the rest are. So I did what you would always do; Shoot them. Keegan thought I did a good job today. When we came across a few Feds, I took them out no problem. Just like you trained me. But we still have a lot to find. How are things going with you and Merrick?
Jan. 16, 2025
H: That’s my little bro! Doing what I taught you! Things are...slow. We haven't found any trace of the Federation base. A few stragglers around, but nothing big. We tried to follow a helicopter we saw, but it disappeared before we could get a positive direction. So Merrick and I are getting a little anxious to find something. As for you, I know you'll find them, Logan. You're smart. So’s Keegan. Just be careful, Logan. Good luck.
Jan. 19, 2025
L: We found a lot of them today. We just engaged a large group of Federation soldiers along the edge of the city, after they ambushed us. Shit, they almost had us. But Keegan and I somehow managed to get out alive. He made sure to take care of my gunshot wound in my shoulder immediately, so I’m okay, before you worry. I’m safe, Hesh. I’m fine. But we're getting close to finding all of the Feds. There's only a few left. I can feel it. And I know that you and Merrick will find the base soon. Good luck. Stay safe.
Jan. 19, 2025
H: YOU GOT SHOT?! I wish I was with you to protect you. But I’m glad that you're okay. Keegan will watch out for you. But you're right. We're close. Merrick and I narrowly missed being caught by a convoy today. We followed it for about a mile, then we had to hold because a large group of soldiers, far too big to even try to attack, went by. But we're making progress. Hopefully we'll be able to find the base soon, give a positive location, and get back to base. Until then, be safe Logan.
Jan. 22, 2025
L: Hesh, we found the rest of the soldiers today. They were holed up in the west part of the city. There weren't too many left, and although they put up a fight, Keegan and I took care of them. Haven't heard from you in a few days, but you're probably busy with Merrick and the base. Just be sure to stay safe, Hesh.
Jan. 27, 2025
L: Hesh, please, let me know that you and Merrick are okay! It's been eight days! It's not like you to lose contact! Are you in trouble? Are you hurt?! David, please….
Jan. 30, 2025
H: Logan, this is Merrick. We ran into some problems when we found the base. Hesh was injured, and we're headed back now. We will see you at the base, Logan.
I sigh as I look at the last message.
I remember that.
Hesh and Merrick had gotten into a huge firefight during that mission.
Hesh was shot twice in the stomach, once in the back, and Merrick barely got him out of there. When they got back to the base, Hesh was barely alive.
I was frantic, because I couldn't let my brother die. Keegan immediately set about helping him, with dad by his side. Dad watched over Hesh like a hawk, all the while I sat by my brother’s side. For four days, I wasn't sure if my older brother was going to survive or not.
But Hesh is strong.
He always was.
When he woke up, I was overjoyed. Within a week, he was back in the field, by my side.
I told Merrick and dad that if they ever split us up again, then they might as well kill me, because I wasn't about to lose everything that mattered to me. So David was always by my side.
We protected each other.
Always.
But then, after the final battle against the Federation last year, when Rorke took me, that was the first time that we had been separated.
It was just too painful.
Then when I came back, Hesh wouldn't leave me. Then when he changed, I wouldn't leave him.
We were brothers.
We look after one another.
We had one job.
Protect each other.
And I messed up.
I couldn't save him.
Now my David, my everything, is gone.
I'll never hear his laugh again. Or see that cocky grin. Or hear his comforting voice when I’m stressed, or when I just needed my big brother.
No, that's all gone now.
Hesh is…... dead .
I never thought I’d see the day when my brother left my side. I always thought we'd make it to the end together.
A team.
Our team.
The Walker boys.
But I guess not. My brother was taken away from me.
I want him back.
All I want is to hear him calling my name, then I'd look up into those brown eyes, and he’d say,
“I'll always protect you, Logan. Always.”
A tear runs down my face, and I close the computer.
Pushing back in the chair, I stand up, then turn to walk back down the hall. I pause at the door, looking back at the computer.
Shaking my head, I make my way down the hall to the main room. Spike and Cody sit on the couch, talking, and Davis and Merrick stand near the window, conversating. I know that Davis’ men are in the bunks, sleeping. Gavin was in the kitchen, and I think Slate was outside, on watch.
Sighing as I walk into the room, all heads turn to look at me, then it goes quiet. I glance up, and meet Merrick’s eyes. I beckon him over with my head a little, and he nods. Walking over, he stops in front of me.
“What is it, Logan?” He asks with a soft, gentle tone. I glance down towards the small med room we set up.
“How's Keegan?” I ask slowly, and Merrick sighs.
“He’ll be fine. The bullet cracked his shoulder blade, and he lost a fair amount of blood, but once he rests up, he's gonna be okay.” Merrick informs, and I nod, then sigh.
“I just…. I can't lose someone else…” I say softly, and Merrick’s eyes widen. He puts his hands on my shoulders, and I look up to meet his eyes. The sympathy and compassion that they show comforts me, and he looks straight at me.
“Logan, I know how hard it's been for you. We all understand. And now, losing Hesh….” His voice trails off as tears run from my eyes, my breathing getting a little shaky.
He frowns, then pulls me into a hug.
“I’m so sorry, Logan.” He utters as I hold him tight, shoulders shaking as I cry.
“I just want him back, Merrick…..I just want my brother back!” I sob, and the other Ghosts look up with sad eyes.
Tears stream down my face, and I grip Merrick’s jacket tightly.
“I want him back…” My words come out shaky through my deep breaths and sobs, and Merrick sighs.
“I know, Logan. I know.” He lets me go, and puts his hand on my shoulder as I wipe some of the tears away with my hand.
“Come on. Just get some rest. You need to sleep.” He says, leading me down towards the bunks. I open my bunk door, and turn to Merrick.
“Thanks.” I say quietly, not really meeting his eyes. Merrick nods, then closes the door. I turn to walk in the small room.
My guns and gear lay on the table to the side, my backpack set on the floor against my bed.
Walking over to sit down on the edge, I reach into my backpack, and pull out Hesh’s hat.
I hold it in my hands tightly as a tear falls onto the soft fabric of it. Falling back onto my back, I gaze up at the ceiling.
I take my father’s dog tags out of my pocket, and stare at them.
Elias T. Walker .
My dad was the one who made Hesh and I into soldiers. I’m glad he did, but at the same time, I wish he hadn't.
I wish that Hesh and I could have just had a normal life together.
But after ODIN, that wasn't really an option.
But because we were soldiers, Hesh was killed in battle.
My brother was everything to me.
Now he's gone.
Shoving dad’s tags back in my pocket, I put my hand to the two thin chains around my neck. Pulling them from my shirt, I hold them up.
One pair is always around my neck, since I first became a soldier.
Walker, Logan / Sergeant / 06-13-01 / San Diego
I sigh as I lift up the other pair that I will forever wear. Running my finger over the embossed lettering, another tear runs down my cheek.
Walker, David / Sergeant / 05-07-99 / San Diego
I'll never take his dog tags off.
They're my way of still having him by my side.
Always.
But I still want him back.
Sitting up, I shrug off my jacket, tossing it on the floor, my grey t-shirt having a few tear stains on it. Leaning down, I untie my boots, pulling them off.
I sigh heavily, then lean back to get into my bed. I reach to flick off the light next to me, then close my eyes.
My fingers still run over David’s name, and tears fall from my eyes again.
Opening my eyes, I feel around in the dark on the table beside the bed, then my hand finds what I want.
I pull my arm in, holding Hesh’s hat close.
My shoulders shake as I cry, my breath shaky gasps.
Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I hold his tags and his hat with my life.
“David….” I sob, pressing my face into his hat.
The familiar smell of my brother gives me comfort, but I still know he's not coming back.
I want him back.
I want Hesh by my side, fighting next to me, always having my back.
I want to hear his laugh.
See his smile.
Look into those brown eyes again, and see them full of determination and love.
Like always.
More tears run down my face, and I take a deep breath.
I want Hesh to hug me and comfort me like he did, like the amazing brother he was.
He could make me laugh, make me smile, encourage me, and care about me.
He was my best friend.
The one person on this entire earth that meant more to me than life.
Sobbing into his hat pressed against my face, I take a deep breath again, reassuring myself with that smell.
I feel so empty inside now.
I lost my everything.
My will to live.
My best friend.
I just want my big brother back .