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Chuck's Revision

Chapter Text


This wasn't how things were supposed to turn out.

None of this was supposed to happen, Castiel looked around desperately, all around him which seemed to go on for miles and miles was one corpse after another. Letting Lucifer in, saying yes to the devil… the darkness somehow being defeated… it was all supposed to make things right! Everything should be better now! Lucifer was gone once again, and although he was very weak at the moment from enduring Amara's torture, being healed by… someone, Castiel didn't even remember who healed him, allowed him to get back up. Whoever it was, they didn't take the pain and exhaustion he felt away entirely.

All throughout the town, Castiel could still hear so many people crying out in agony. Praying for help, some had given up and resorted to praying for a quicker death… it took his last reserves just to come to this town, he didn't have any strength left to help them… he wasn't even sure he could help them, he couldn't heal them, he certainly couldn't bring himself to harm them either.

He didn't even know what was going on.


He froze, he knew that voice. The familiar tone washing over him, encasing him in a cocoon of warmth. He just hadn't heard it in quite a long time now, but there was something off about it. The voice seemed…distant yet right by his ear at the same time, and so much more familiar than ever before. It took him a moment to realize the voice was coming from inside his head, which made him even more confused. He hadn't turned back on 'Angel-Radio' in a long time and he knew not one Angel who would personally address him. Not after all he's done. Even if by accident.


Somehow, even when being somewhere he never was before Castiel's feet knew exactly where to take him. Slowly, as though on a casual walk through the park, Castiel made his way past every abandoned car and each new corpse-littered across the streets and lawns until finally, he came to a stop. Just outside of some cozy looking bar the was clearly vacant except for the lone figure seated on a stool in the middle of the stage; a guitar clenched tightly in his hands and the microphone stand kicked over onto its side. The man's shoulders shook in great effort of controlling the sobs racking through his frame as tears slid slowly down his face. Castiel shifted awkwardly, unsure what he should do next.

Castiel was struck by the fact that someone was still alive in this place, but what startled him the most was that said man was none other than Chuck Shurley, a prophet of the lord. Only something about Chuck had changed since they've last met…

"F-Father?" Castiel finally managed to gasp out.


Chuck had looked up at him and Castiel was struck by just how… tired he seemed. There was something else there hidden in the depths of his eyes… it was… sorrow.

"Castiel… I-I'm so sorry… this… all of this wasn't how things were supposed to end. This wasn't the script…"

Castiel didn't understand why he was apologizing… none of this was his fault.

"Oh," Chuck sighed, "Castiel yes it is. I've been here all along, hiding. I was scared to see what has happened with some of my greatest creations… and quite frankly… I'm afraid I just didn't care anymore…."

Castiel hummed, "Well… It looks to me, that you care an awful lot." As though to demonstrate what he meant Castiel wiped one of the stray tears from Chuck's face.

"…" Chuck stayed silent, but Castiel could tell there was something he planned on saying, it was just a matter of waiting for him to actually say it.


"Yes?" Castiel smiled wearily, it seemed as he waited for Chuck to speak more of his energy seemed to leave him. Apparently, Chuck noticed as well, it the suddenly panicked look on his face was anything to go by.

"Castiel, if given the chance would you do everything all over again with no guarantees of anything actually changing? Or would you rather accept what has happened here, and live on earth? But remember Castiel, should you remain on earth you would never have a moments peace. You'll constantly be chased by your brothers and sisters."

"I… I don't understand…." Castiel bit his lip, "Do everything all over again? To see my family fall apart once more? To see so many innocent people die? To relive all my mistakes?"

"No Castiel," Chuck grinned, "What I mean is I could send you back, to the past that is, and you could change the future not watch everything happen on repeat and… you'll be able to save Sam and Dean."

Castiel's eyes widened, "W-What do you mean to save them?"

"The virus that killed these townspeople, Castiel, Sam was infected… and after Sam died Dean was infected by the virus as well. It's spreading quickly. You and I are the only living beings left here."

"No... No!" Castiel snapped angrily and devastated, "After everything…everything they've gone up against, all the hardships they've suffered through, they go and get themselves killed by a virus?"

Chuck's face softened, "Castiel… would you? Go back and save them?"

"Yes." Was the immediate answer.

"There are no guarantees this will work, for all you know I could be sending you on some fools journey."

"I. Don't. Care." Castiel stressed, gritting his teeth, "I will save them, no matter the cost."

Chuck nodded briefly, and with a snap of his fingers…

Castiel was gone.

Chuck frowned before suddenly smirking, "The balance between good and evil is important but that doesn't mean I can't give him a little… a reminder that'll pop up whenever convenient."

With another snap of his fingers, he did exactly that before grimacing as he remembered just how badly his visions had hurt him, "I hope I don't regret this… Good luck, Castiel."

{1976- Maternity ward of local hospital}

Mr. & Mrs. Novak both sat in Mrs. Novak's' assigned hospital room each with a newborn baby boy cradled gently in their arms. Both looked weary and emotionally exhausted; with dry tear tracks and blood-shot eyes. Nonetheless, Mr. & Mrs. Novak happily welcomed their twin boys James "Jimmy" Novak and Castiel Emmanuel Novak into this world and into their lives. After trying for so many years, they were finally able to start a family of their own, together.

"I love you…" Mr. Novak whispered softly, smiling gently at his wife who returned the smile and replied,

"I love you too."

{November 2, 1983, the Novak Residence}

In the dead silence of the night, Jimmy Novak was woken up by the sounds of whimpering and strangled gasps from the other side of the room. Eyes wide, he threw off his covers and turned on the bedroom lamp before racing towards his twin brother, Castiel's bed.

"Cass?" Jimmy whispered his hands shaking as he reached out to wake his brother, no matter how many times this had happened, ever since they turned three, Jimmy still wasn't used to seeing Castiel like this.

His brother shouldn't be so distressed in his own home which Jimmy knew was where Castiel should feel safest. The moment Jimmy's hand landed on his shoulder Castiel flinched and swung his arm out, his knuckles catching on the end of Jimmy's chin. Castiel had always been the strongest of the two of them.

"Ow!" Jimmy yelped falling backward onto the floor.

"Boys? Boys, what's going on? It's barely 3 am… Jimmy!" Yawning, Mr. Novak froze in the doorway to his sons' room.

Immediately waking up the moment he saw Jimmy on the floor and Castiel now struggling with the blankets on his bed, Mr. Novak rushed into the room.

"Damnit… HONEY! Castiel's dreaming again!" Mr. Novak yelled hoping his wife had heard him, before bending down and helping Jimmy get up off the floor.

"It was an accident dad, I tried to wake him… I forgot he startles so easily when he's sleeping…" Jimmy mumbled, eyes cast downwards.

"It's alright son, I know it was an accident on both parts," Mr. Novak smiled gently, "Are you okay though?"

"M'fine," Jimmy said still mumbling, it was then Mrs. Novak entered the room.

"Oh my…" She gasped rushing to Castiel's side but not before giving Jimmy a chaste kiss on the forehead, "Oh dearie... We need to wake him up."

"Be careful. It's one of the ones where he gets a bit violent." Mr. Novak said joining her but on the opposite side of the bed.

Mrs. Novak nodded, it took almost ten minutes between all three of them before Castiel finally ceased struggling against them and blearily blinked his eyes open. The moment he tried to bolt from the bed, however, things went downhill. Fast.

"NO!" Castiel screamed, his voice echoing throughout the room. He quickly began struggling against his parents and Jimmy's grasp as they all pinned him down to his bed. "LET ME GO! I NEED TO GO!"

"Stop it… Son stop!" Mr. Novak yelled tears gathering in the corner of his eyes, his wife had moved off to the side now openly sobbing.

This was the worst 'episode' of Castiel's ever since they've had him and his brother Jimmy. Usually, once he'd woken up, Castiel would calm down and immediately apologize for everything... he'd never tried fighting them before.

"Cassie… please. Please, you've got to stop. Nothing's wrong!" Jimmy pleaded it hurt to see his own twin brother like this.

Even though he was the older twin by 15 minutes, Jimmy always felt as though Castiel was the older one, now watching the pain and sorrow in his brothers' eyes, Jimmy couldn't help but feel as if he was actually the younger brother with how old Castiel seemed in that moment. It was as if Castiel and he were standing thousands of yards apart.

"Please!" Castiel begged tears streaming down his face, at seven years old his family's never seen him look so… desperate, or panicked before.

"B-Baby listen… everything's going to be alright… okay?" Mrs. Novak sniffed tears threatening to fall once more, "You're okay. Whatever you dreamt… it's not real, angel."

"No! You don't understand, please! HE'S GOING TO KILL HER! please, I have to go. Lemme go! I need to stop him!" Castiel began to break down, as his strength seeping away as he laid there, sobbing all the while repeatedly whimpering, "…please… please… please please please please….."

"Castiel, no one's going to kill anybody!" Mr. Novak yelled angrily, his hand slamming down again the small dresser by the bed, "Knock it off already!"

{Elsewhere in Lawrence, Kansas}

"Come on, let's say goodnight to your brother," Mary Winchester smiled walking into the nursery while holding her four-year-old son, Dean, against her hip.

Dean grinned widely, and the moment he is let down he runs over to the crib with his baby brother Sammy inside. Dean scrambled to lean up over the side, kept from toppling over as Mary hurried over to lift him so that he could lean down towards Sammy.

"G'night, Sammy." Dean leans down and kisses little Sammy's forehead.

Once she sets Dean back down onto the floor, Mary leans over as well, smiling lovingly down at her youngest as she gently presses a kiss to his temple, "Goodnight, love." 

"Hey Dean," John Winchester smiles broadly, entering the nursery and holding his arms out wide.

Dean immediately runs towards him, propelling himself into his legs while John quickly bends down to properly hug his son.


"Hey, buddy. So what do you think? D'you think Sammy's ready to toss around a football yet?" John grinned ruffling Dean's hair.

Dean smiles and shakes his head, giggling softly, "No, daddy."

Mary walks past John as he's hugging Dean, and hearing him say softly, "Sweet dreams, Sam."

Mary can't help but smile even wider at the amount of love John held in his voice in just those few words. Once John and Dean left the nursery and after making sure Sammy wouldn't start crying, they shut the lights off, all prepared for a good night's sleep, or in John's case; watch a bit of was some time later as Mary was in bed that she heard static is heard on the baby monitor, little Sammy's gurgling as well, causing her to wake up.

"John?" Mary asks turning over to her side, he's not there, so Mary gets up out of bed to go check on Sammy herself. She goes to the nursery, pausing in the doorway once she saw John standing over the crib, checking on Sammy.

"John? Is he hungry?" Mary asked sleepily, watching as he turned his head and shushes her softly.

"Okay," Mary says realizing John must be trying to bed Sam to fall back asleep, and turns away from the room, she hesitates when she notices as the light down the hall starts flickering.

Confused on whether or not the bulb was going bad, she walks towards it and taps it. The light stops flickering, it was then Mary noticed the sound of the television from downstairs. Still feeling more and more confused, Mary walked partially downstairs to find the television on and with John asleep in front of it. Her eyes go wide in panic and she runs back up to the nursery, screaming Sammy's name. Downstairs John jolts awake upon hearing Mary's scream.

"Mary!" he runs upstairs to the nursery only he cannot see her, Mary isn't there.

John walks over to the crib and baby Sammy looks up at him, there's a strange drop of something next to Sam's head. As John reaches out to touch it and another drop lands on his hand, startled John looks up and finds the love of his life, his wife Mary on the ceiling, staring at him. There is blood soaking through her nightgown around her midsection, it is quite clear from her wide, unseeing eyes, that she is dead.

Shocked beyond belief John collapses to the ground in agony, screaming, "No. No Mary!"

The fire seems to explode around her, engulfing both her and the ceiling in flames. Little Sammy begins to wail, forcing John to come to his senses, and he gently picks Sam up running quickly into the hallway.

"Daddy!" Dean is standing in the middle of the hallway, obviously scared if his wide panicked eyes were any hint.

"Take your brother outside as fast as you can!" John orders his son. "Don't look back! Now, Dean, go!"

As Dean ran outside with Sammy clutched tightly against his chest, John goes back into the nursery desperate to see if he can somehow save his wife, but it is too late, the flames have grown and the entire nursery is soon to be engulfed.

"Mary, no!"

John realizes that he was too late, knows that there is nothing he can do, but he has to make sure his boys are okay. He knew before he even got Sammy out of the nursery that Mary was gone... He can't lose them as well. He runs out of the house, quickly catching up to Dean and picks up both him and Sammy, taking them further and further from the house just as the top floor where the nursery, where Mary was, collapsed with the windows shattering.

Not too much time passed, probably only seven minutes had passed and plenty of firemen have arrived on scene with police rolling in as well. John sat down on top of the Impala with Sam and Dean by his side, clutching them against him as though they were his lifeline, at that moment he felt as though they were. The shock blankets each of them wore did nothing to keep them from shivering as the winds picked up. The firemen yelling warning of the embers drifting to other houses as they worked to put out the flames.

Little did they know at that very moment, despite feeling as though they were all alone in the world, seven-year-old Castiel E. Novak knew exactly what they were going through and how they all felt.

Chapter Text

[October 14, 1984]

-Not Normal-

For Castiel being in the third grade was a whole lot different than he thought it'd be.

For one thing; the teachers were a lot more strict and unforgiving than last year, and the second thing? Jimmy wasn't in his classes this year besides having lunch together, but Castiel's seen Jimmy's new friends. They weren't exactly the type of people Castiel wanted to be friends with. They acted nice to him when Jimmy or others were around but he remembered the one time he was alone with them, all they had done was call him a freak, a loser, and tell him to get lost, sometimes they would even hit him too when they ran out of things to throw.

All in all, besides Jimmy and the librarians, and perhaps even their old next door neighbor, Castiel only had one friend; Collin Welks.

Collin was the new kid, with short brown hair and certainly tall for his age, his family recently moved into town around the beginning of October. Perhaps it was because of the strange way he talked or sometimes acted but Castiel was the only kid in class to approach Collin and talk to him. They had become fast friends, at first Castiel worried that if Collin was seen with him then he'd be targeted by bullies as well, but then he realized Collin knew how to fight. Supposedly he had given David a black eye when he made fun of Collin's accent and then a busted lip when he had made some comment about Castiel, Collin refused to tell him what David said even when Castiel tried bribing him with chocolate.

Castiel was grateful and since then they've been the best of friends with no secrets between one another and by no secrets, Castiel meant no secrets whatsoever.

The day Castiel decided that he could honestly trust Collin, was also the same day he decided to tell Collin about his dreams. Collin at first had laughed it off and told Castiel that it was just his imagination screwing around with him but then when Castiel told Collin how he got these dreams... these visions while he was awake, Collin had grown excited. Asking him what he saw and if he could control it, it wasn't until Castiel told Collin about a dream where Lily from gym class would fall down the stairs at home and break her ankle that Collin called him a freak and ran away from him.

Throughout the next two weeks, everyone in school knew about 'That Freak Kid' Castiel and the bullying had progressively gotten worse. It wasn't until Castiel had to go to the hospital with two broken ribs, a sprained wrist and a couple of cuts and bruises and the school administration refused to do anything about the fights that the Novak's packed up all of their belongings and moved Lawrence, Kansas.

It was also the first time Mr. Novak had ever slapped Castiel, blaming him for causing them all to lose so much money with the move on top of the rumors now surrounding their family.

[October 28, 1984, Elsewhere in a motel]

John sighed, running a hand through his hair he turned and stared at his oldest son, Dean at five years old, laying in one of the motel beds, thick layers of sweat clinging to his clothes. Dean was sick, he had a cold with a fever of almost 103 degrees. It's only been a year since... since Mary was taken from him, and once more John found himself wishing for her presence. Dean's stopped asking for his mom the moment the fire trucks showed up at the house, in fact, Dean hasn't spoken since then. His youngest, Sammy seemed to realize that Mary was gone, for weeks he would just keep crying regardless of how much food John offered him, how many naps he tried to get him to take or however many times he's checked his diaper. Sammy just kept on crying. It wasn't until John had finally broken down in tears, and verbally wishing for Mary to come back did Sammy stop crying.

That night Sammy and Dean spent the night in John's motel bed, and the next few months John jumped around from one hunt to another, learning everything he could on the way.

It wasn't until more recently that he was finally contacted by a hunter named Robert Singer. A man who he was told by Missouri Moseley from their old neighborhood, to come to see. John had left the boys with a hired sitter, he made sure to check her like he was taught by other hunters, she believed him when he said it was just part of his religion. He first met Missouri on two months after the fire, when he went to her to find out the truth about his wives death. After confirming that Singer was a man to be trusted, John went to South Dakota and met with him. He demanded John call him Bobby the moment the introduced one another. 

Since then John's been training nonstop. Working even harder to become a hunter, and taking down all these monsters while searching for the thing that killed Mary.

In fact, he was currently finished with his latest hunt. It was a case linked to there being a Vampire aiming to create a nest just as he was about to head out, back to Bobby's, hoping to get him to finally meet his boy's when Dean had gotten sick. Groaning, John stood up and walked over to the bed to place his hand on Dean's forehead silently hoping that maybe his fever had finally gone down... no such luck. Glancing up briefly John realized he was two hours late for his check in with Bobby.

"Shit..." Snatching the motel phone from the side table, John quickly punched in the familiar number of the salvage yard.


John blinked, he wasn't to keen on talking to Bobby if he was in a mood...

"If you're just going to waste my damn time I'm hanging up."

"Wait it's me!"


"Uh... Yeah, sorry."



"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU CALL EARLIER YA DAMN IDJIT?! We have scheduled check-ins for a reason!"

John fumbled with the phone, nearly dropping it with how badly Bobby had startled him, with wide eyes he watched Dean turn over in the bed, thankfully not waking up.

"Shhhhh! I'm sorry alright but lower your voice you'll wake the boys!"

"...They're asleep this early?"

John snuck a glance at the clock and remembered Sammy would always go to sleep around now but Dean would stay up til midnight at least. Despite John's best efforts at getting Dean to a healthier sleeping schedule.

"Yeah, I finished the hunt, was planning on heading back, this time bringing the boy's, but Dean's sick. It hit him pretty hard, I just got him to sleep."

John listened as Bobby began grumbling something under his breath before saying, "Alright. stay there until the boy's better. Then you better get your ass movin' onto the next hunt. I can meet them some other time."

"Thanks," John grinned, "Bye Bobby."


His grin falling slightly John turned to Dean, if he wasn't better by tomorrow then he'd have to take him to the hospital.


[November 16, 1984, Lawrence, Kansas]


Castiel yawned widely as he walked down the street. They haven't even been living here for a full month yet and every day this week, Castiel keeps having the same reoccurring nightmare.

It was the same one he had last year on November second. At first, he assumed he was imagining it, that his mind was tricking him into forming links between his dreams. Then he started seeing what when on in his dreams while he was still awake. Usually, that would only happen rarely, but the moment he started having that reoccurring dream, he found himself spacing out multiple times a day. It wasn't until a few days ago when he and Jimmy were walking around their new home did he realize why; it was as Castiel was exploring their new house and he had found a fairly new trunk in their basement that he learned the truth. The trunk was in decent shape which is why he assumed it was new but definitely not used recently, as he hesitantly went through the trunk, Castiel found plenty of old photos.

One showed a family of four and on the back, it read;

"The Winchesters' John, Mary, Dean, and Little Sammy" in neat cursive ink.

The moment Castiel saw Mary's face, that old nightmare came back flashing through his eyes faster than ever before and with more intensity. At some point, he must've passed out because he woke up with a panicked Jimmy kneeling over him with bloody tissues scrunched in his hands against Castiel's nose.

It wasn't until Castiel explained his nightmare... or vision to Jimmy and then showed him the pictures that Jimmy slowly began to believe him and they both realized that what Castiel saw and kept dreaming about was actually real. Castiel officially knew that not only was he not normal but what he had was also a curse. Thinking back on Mary's screams, the way the flames swallowed her whole and how the stench of burning flesh stayed in his nose for hours on end, Jimmy just barely managed to move back in time as Castiel threw up.

Seeing someone die and then not being able to do anything about it? Or realizing that someone died and if you just tried a bit harder perhaps you could've saved them? What else could it be but a curse?

Once he regained his bearings, Castiel pushed past Jimmy and stumbled up the stairs. His hands shook as he kept picturing Mary's face, Dean's wide eyes, and little Sammy's cries. He kept thinking back on how John smiled at Dean, the love in his eyes when he looked at Mary to the way John's voice changed as he screamed once he noticed Mary on the ceiling. The horror John must've felt. The despair of losing someone you loved right before your eyes, without being able to do a thing to save them. It was with a building desire to get out of the house, to get some fresh air that Castiel practically ran outside. He wasn't sure how long he'd been walking for, but at least half an hour had passed since he left the house.

Castiel let out a small yelp as he tripped over something and fell hands and knees first onto the pavement.

"Oh! Honey are you okay?"

Blinking, Castiel turned to sit on his butt as he looked up and saw a dark-skinned woman looking about as old as his mom standing there with a green hose and offering him her hand.

"Er... yes ma'am." Castiel blushed looking down and realizing he had tripped over her hose.

She seemed to realize the same thing.

"Boy, don't go calling me ma'am, makes me older. My names Missouri Moseley, you can call me Missouri." Reaching down Missouri grabbed Castiel's hand and pulled him to his feet staring at his hand she frowned and said, "Come here, let's get you cleaned on up."

"S-Sorry..." Castiel stuttered as he hesitantly followed after her into her house, he knew not to go off with strangers anywhere but ever since they've moved to Lawrence he's been teaching himself how to fight.

He didn't want a repeat of the incident at his last school, and something about Missouri just seemed to yell at him that she was trustworthy.

"Don't apologize, though if you want to mind telling me what's got your mind hooked today?"

"E-Excuse me?"

"Something's on your mind, I'm asking what're you thinking about," Missouri said gently as she set down a somewhat old looking first aid kit and took out a few band-aids and a washcloth, "You looked pretty deep in thought when you were walking past."

Castiel bit his lip, should he tell her? She was a complete stranger...

"You can trust me, sweetie, I know I'm a stranger but sometimes a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet," Missouri said calmly as she began wiping off Castiel's hands, "...That doesn't mean you should go trusting everyone, you hear? Stay cautious and stay safe." 

Castiel hissed quietly as the fabric against his skin stung but was otherwise still and quiet. It went on like that for a few minutes until he broke it by whispering, "Who... Who's Mary... John... Sam and Dean? They, uh, use to live near here?"

Missouri froze, every inch of her body tensing as her head jerked up to stare at Castiel in shock, their gazes never leaving one another. It was as he stared at her that the vision about Mary and the nursery seemed to happen before his eyes once again, and once it was over Castiel noticed how Missouri had gotten paler and how her hands began shaking.

"M-Missouri?" Castiel whispered.

"O-Oh... you poor child..." Missouri spoke softly before reaching out to pull Castiel into a hug.

Castiel's entire body stiffened, he didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to this kind of affection. His parents stopped hugging him since the fight and generally avoided contact with him. In fact, since moving here his parents started pretending Castiel didn't exist and Jimmy was their only son. The only one who has hugged him anymore was Jimmy, but Castiel never hugged back he didn't want to get his hopes up just for Jimmy to realized he was a freak just like their parents and Collin had.

"Honey, do you know what you are?" Missouri asked letting Castiel go and smiling sadly at him as though he may break.

"..." Castiel opened his mouth, about to say human but then he thought better of it. Instead, he said softly, "A freak?"

"No!" Missouri immediately said her voice stern, "You are no freak, my child. There's a name for what you are; a Psychic."

"...A what...?" Castiel gaped at her, "A psychic? I don't even know what they are, I mean I've heard of them but I'm pretty sure they're not real!"

"Oh, but they are," Missouri stood and turned to walk off into another room from that room, she called out to Castiel saying, "There are a lot of things in this world that aren't supposed to be real but are."

'Or... you're a crazy woman that I just happened to follow into your house...' Castiel thought eyeing the front door.

"I'm not crazy," Missouri said re-entering the room with a thick, dusty, brown book.

Castiel gaped at her, "W-What...? How did you..."

Missouri smiled as she patted his shoulder, "I am a psychic and you were thinking mighty loud there honey. Here read this."

Slowly reaching out, Castiel took the thick brown book.

"Sensitive to the aura of a person, psychics are able to access information from the emotional, physical and spiritual parts of the auric field which contains all the information about a person's life. Psychics use their natural gift to be aware of body language, facial expression, etc. and from that can compute potential events and make plausible predictions. Able to sense on a purely material level, psychics are not able to tune in to the spirit world, except by accident. All mediums are psychics but not all psychics are mediums. That's... a lot to take in." Castiel finished reading aloud from the book Missouri had handed to him, almost as an afterthought Castiel brought out a thick black journal he'd taken to carrying around and copied the definition down.

He wrote anything he thought was important to his 'Visions', as he had taken to calling them before today he just wrote what vision he's had, or what feelings he got when seeing certain images or hearing certain words. If this book could help him begin to better understand himself, maybe it could help him control it. Perhaps even get rid of it.

"So..." Castiel bit his lip, glancing up at Missouri hesitantly, "I'm a psychic?"

Missouri looked at him for a good solid minute before shaking her head, "You have all the abilities of one but there's something about you that's telling me you aren't."

"Then what am I?" Castiel asked desperately.

"I don't know Honey." Missouri hummed, "But I can try and see."

Once Castiel nodded his head yes, Missouri leaned forward and gently placed both hands on either side of Castiel's head.

Castiel's eyes switched from watching Missouri who had her eyes shut and looking towards the clock, once thirty minutes of absolutely nothing had passed Castiel was about to get up and leave when his hands twitched briefly in pain as he had a vision. He saw himself here in Missouri's house and her sitting in front of him holding onto his head when suddenly she flinched away from him and he sat there watching as she fell to the floor screaming, with blood and tears pouring from her eyes as her eyes seemed to be burning from the inside of her head.

Gasping as the vision ended, Castiel jerked his head out of Missouri's grasp and stared at her in horror, from the look on her face she saw what was about to just happen to her as well.

Slowly as though approaching a frightened animal Missouri reached out towards him, but then Castiel realized he was an animal wasn't he? He had seen that woman Mary die and never tried to go to her as hard as he should've, he didn't keep Lily from hurting herself and now he almost just harmed Missouri.

Fighting back a sob Castiel leaped to his feet and muttered hastily, "I'm sorry."

Before turning around and fleeing from Missouri's home, ignoring her shouts for him to wait and not to leave.

Castiel was panicking, the entire run back to his house, no not his, Mary and her family's house, all he saw was families outside, kids playing and all he could focus on was how he might hurt them like he almost had Missouri. The one lone thought he had as he raced into his bedroom, which he subconsciously noted was where the nursery was, where Mary had died, was that he had to leave. He had to leave before he hurt anyone. Especially Jimmy. Things were... rough between them all, but that's just how families worked. Castiel still loved them all with his entire being, he didn't want to risk hurting them.

Chapter Text

[April 08, 1985]

It's only been five months since Castiel left that house in Lawrence, Kansas. He couldn’t help but wonder if his parents had even bothered looking for him, he knew they were fed up with his... weirdness, but he was still their son. He definitely doesn't regret leaving. Sometimes. He hoped, prayed actually, that perhaps someday he could explain to Jimmy that he had left to protect him and their parents, not because he had wanted to get away from them. Castiel felt horrified that a small part of him actually did want to get away from them, from everyone.

He had a feeling Jimmy would at least be searching for him, probably worried and scared out of his mind, and Castiel couldn't go to him or even let him know where he was. Not if he wanted to keep Jimmy safe.

He wasn't sure what it was he was keeping them safe from, but every fiber of his being told him it was for the best if he stayed away.

Now with exactly five months having passed Castiel would be lying if he said he hadn't thought of giving up and going back home, nearly every night he's woken from nightmares of Jimmy screaming out for him, both of them trapped in a dimly lit room and stuck on opposite sides. No matter how hard he ran, Castiel could never make it back to Jimmy. Some nights he even dreamed about Missouri and how he had burned her eyes out when he chose to stay instead of running away. It was during his first night away from home that Castiel realized just how scary the outside world could be, mainly due to being on his own for the first time. It had taken him a little over a day and a half between walking and hitching rides, with or without the driver's consent, before Castiel made his way to over to a place named, Decatur. It was from a stained and torn up history book he found in a trash can that Castiel learned that Decatur was supposedly the largest city of Macon County in Illinois, having been founded in 1829.

The day he found the Decatur Public library was so far the happiest day of his life.

Every day for all these months, he would go there, and curl up in one of the comfiest cushioned chairs he's ever been on and read to his heart's content. It was due to his frequent visits to the public library that he had befriended the elderly librarian, Mrs. Murdoch. He learned she was going on sixty-two years old and had a handful of grandchildren from each of her three daughters. Castiel told her he had a twin brother named Jimmy but felt bad in saying his parents would drop him off at the library every day, he always felt bad anytime he lied to someone, but it was much worse lying to Mrs. Murdoch when she was only ever kind to him. He was relieved when she never questioned him on his dirty clothing or how greasy his hair looked.

It was when he started trying to come to the library on Sundays, he didn't know they were closed, that Mrs. Murdoch would invite him to her house for dinner and to, later on, attend church with her.

Today was no different.

"Castiel, sweetheart are you ready to get going?"

Castiel grinned, jumping down the last four steps of Mrs. Murdoch's two-story home before he ran up to her.

"Oh!" Mrs. Murdoch exclaimed placing a hand over her chest. Chuckling she said, "Castiel you keep that up and you'll give me a heart attack!"

Immediately Castiel straightened his posture and stared at Mrs. Murdoch with wide eyes, "I-I'm sorry, I-"

"I'm only kidding honey," Mrs. Murdoch smiled, patting Castiel on the shoulder, "Come on now, don't want to keep Pastor Keith waiting on us now do we?"

"Nope!" Castiel held out his arm and helped Mrs. Murdoch down the driveway to the sidewalk, Pastor Keith's church was a small thing but was the closest one to Mrs. Murdoch's house and according to the stories she's told him, she's been going to his church ever since she was a little girl. and was there when Pastor Keith replaced Pastor Tom.

Pastor Keith was in his mid' sixties but still had his wits about him. He also had this vast library in the church attic but he never lets Castiel tell Mrs. Murdoch about it and in return he allows Castiel to read as much of it as he wants. Castiel's favorite was the Angel Lore book, Pastor Keith was surprised Castiel could read it. It wasn't until after he pointed it out that Castiel realized the book wasn't in English, which he admitted was... strange. After all the only languages Castiel knew was English and German, but was currently teaching himself a little bit of Latin since that was what most of Pastor Keith's books were in. Castiel could remember how the first time Pastor Keith caught him reading the book on Angel lore, he had stood there, silently watching Castiel before storming from the room. He was worried he somehow offended the Pastor, but then he came rushing back into the room with a glass of water and told Castiel to have a sip. That he shouldn't sit in a dusty room without drinking fresh water every so often.

The water tasted off, but Castiel assumed he had just been tasting the dust in the air, but after that day, any tension Castiel used to feel between the two of them vanished.

"Ah," Pastor Keith moved forward and swept Mrs. Murdoch up into a tight hug before going to do the same to Castiel, "And how're my two favorite people doing this lovely day?"

Castiel distinctly heard Mrs. Murdoch reply with the usual 'We're well, how're you doing Pastor Keith?' meanwhile Castiel tensed as Pastor Keith hugged him, almost immediately he felt a bit lightheaded with an oncoming headache, and just as suddenly he watched as the scene before him warped and was replaced with a new one altogether…

“Have a nice day Mr. Deour, farewell Miss Stephens..."

Pastor Keith smiled at everyone as he bid them all goodbye, with Castiel and Mrs. Murdoch being the last to leave each receiving yet another hug in turn.

As Castiel and Mrs. Murdoch left the church Pastor Keith turned and began tidying up, it was as he was picking up a few spilled plates from the front entrance of the church from the annual church dinner that any to all lights in the church seemed to flicker.

Immediately Pastor Keith tensed, wary and alert, his eyes darting around the room.

Just as it seemed like everything was beginning to calm itself down, hands grabbed Pastor Keith from behind; placing him into a chokehold. Pastor Keith struggled against the firm hold, his body jerking as he tried to throw his attacker off of him.  The man's eyes were completely black as he began to laugh loudly and in one fluid motion, he had snapped Pastor Keith's neck as though it were a hollow tree limb breaking in half.  As Pastor Keith's body fell to the ground with a loud thud, The black-eyed man sneered down at him and spit on Pastor Keith's cheek.



Castiel gasped, startled. Pastor Keith held him by his forearms and was staring at Castiel with wide, panicked eyes. Seeing Pastor Keith this close after just witnessing his death, Castiel flinched back.

"Y-Yes?" Castiel croaked, all he could see at the moment was Pastor Keith laying on the floor; pale, with bulging eyes and head tilted at a wrong angle as bone protruded against his skin making it stick out from his neck.

The vision may have ended but the image remained stuck in his head.

"Castiel!" Pastor Keith shook him firmly and made sure Castiel was focusing on him before speaking once more, "I've sent Mrs. Murdoch to go sit... are... are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Sir.”

"Lying is a sin, Castiel."

Castiel stared up at Pastor Keith, "...You... you won't believe me..."

"Try me, son." Pastor Keith smiled gently as he carefully guided a trembling Castiel over to a chair set up by the tables in the front room, "Sit. Have a seat, please, before you fall over."

"You... you died," Castiel said bluntly, deciding to get straight to the point.

Pastor Keith's eyes widened briefly before settling in a comforting, yet somewhat uncomfortable, smile, "Castiel, I assure you I am very much alive. If you are having nightmares perhaps-"

"No!" Castiel cut Pastor Keith off suddenly desperate for him to believe what he was saying, "It's not a nightmare! After mass, once everyone leaves the man with the black eyes is going to kill you!"

Suddenly Pastor Keith's entire demeanor changed, "Black eyes you say?"

"Yes!" Castiel nodded.

Out of nowhere, Pastor Keith pulled out a small clear vile and dumped whatever was in it out on Castiel's arm, and Castiel was too surprised to pull his arm back to his side.

"Guess you aren't a demon than. I’m glad. I've definitely grown fond of you." Pastor Keith grinned happily.

"...Huh?" Castiel mumbled a bit dazed sounding, "A demon? But those aren't re- they're real, aren't they?"

Pastor Keith nodded, "Now is not the time nor the place for this discussion, Castiel. You say the demon will appear and kill me once mass has ended?"

"Yeah, in my vision he snuck up behind you and snapped your neck after we all leave..."

Pastor Keith looked pleasantly surprised, despite being told he was going to be killed later tonight, "You're a Psychic!"

"...Yes..." Castiel said shyly, although he wasn't sure if that was what he really was.

Everything point to him being one, but a gut feeling told him that it was just a label for the time being.

"Have you had any other visions before today?"

Frowning as his one persistent vision played in his mind once again, Castiel said, "...Not really? There was one about a family in Kansas; Mary and John with their two kids; Sam and Dean. Mary was killed by the demon... only he was a different demon than the one that's coming for you... And, uh, I get a few smaller visions but they're more like flashes?"

"...A-Alright, we'll speak later tonight. After mass, I would like you to go home with Mrs. Murdoch and come back later tonight so we may discuss everything. I have some things I'll need to show you and perhaps we can get in touch with an old friend of mine."

"What?!" Castiel whispered, only remembering at the last second not to yell, "I just told you he's going to kill you! Why would you stay here!"

"Trust me Castiel, now that I know he's coming I will be prepared for him."


"Shh. I'll tell you later, but for now, act as though everything is normal. Okay? We cannot let anyone else find out about this."

"Nothing's normal..." Castiel muttered.

Pastor Keith smirked as he turned towards the doorway to walk down the aisle, "We'll make a hunter out of you yet."

"A Hunter?" Castiel was going to ask what Pastor Keith meant by that but he was already halfway down the aisle to the front of the room.

So doing as he was told, Castiel took the seat next to Mrs. Murdoch; flinching every time someone walked past or erupted into cheers after prayer. Every so often Mrs. Murdoch would glance over at him and quietly ask him if he was alright, each time he would lie to her. He would say he was fine and try to sit still, ignoring the heavy feeling forming in his stomach. Finally, after close to three hours had passed, everyone began to leave, it was once Miss. Stephen's and Mr. Deour walked out that Castiel's breath began coming in harsh pants, and he felt a bit lightheaded.

"Cassie? Sweetheart are you alright?"

Castiel jerked away when Mrs. Murdoch touched his shoulder and immediately felt guilty seeing the crestfallen look on her face afterward, "I'm alright... It's just... the heat's getting to me. Sorry."

Mrs. Murdoch seemed hesitant to believe him but Castiel was actually glad the hot humid air outside helped make his story seem a bit more believable.

"Goodbye Pastor Keith." Mrs. Murdoch smiled warmly, hugging the Pastor as they moved towards the doors.

"Goodbye Elizabeth, I'll see you next time. Bring some of that famous casserole of yours!"

Mrs. Murdoch laughed and shook her head, smiling fondly as she walked out the church doors.

"Go on Castiel, don't keep her waiting."

Castiel stood there as his legs trembled and tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.

Pastor Keith sighed softly, "Oh Castiel... Please? I may be old but trust me when I say I can take care of myself. Please get going? I'll be right here later tonight, everything will be okay."

Castiel ran over and hugged Pastor Keith as tightly as he could before running out the church doors to catch up with Mrs. Murdoch. Because he hadn't looked back Castiel didn't see nor hear as Pastor Keith pulled out his cell phone and made a phone call. Pastor Keith hurried upstairs to the church attic; if what Castiel told him was true then he barely had minutes until the demon arrived.

"Singer Salvage yard... what do you want Keith?"

Deciding to skip pleasantries Keith spoke, "I got a young boy here coming to my church. He's a Physic, doesn't seem like he knew until recently. Point is he got a vision, a demon will be here is less than a few minutes and will snap my neck."

"Well, what’re you calling me for? Get the hell out of there!"

Pastor Keith knew Bobby was right, ever since that accident during a hunt screwed up his back he hadn't been hunting since; but something told him he had to tell Bobby about Castiel.

"I will, but promise me something, Bobby."

"...What is it?"

"Teach Castiel to become a hunter, or at least watch over the boy for me."

"Casteel? And what am I some goddamn babysitter?!"

"It's Cas-Ti-El and Robert, please! Something about Castiel is... is different. He’s not like any other Psychic or hunter I've met. He needs to know what's out there. He's had visions before, Bobby. The only one he remembers clearly is one with some family; John and Mary with their two sons Sam and Dean. I have a feeling something big is going on, and he's involved."



"Alright. Spell out the kids' name for me, after tonight, send him over to me."

"It's C-A-S-T-I-E-L and Bobby? Thank you."

"Yeah whatever, you better get going before that demon shows up."

"...It's too late to run Bobby. He's here, I can hear him downstairs and I can smell the sulfur."

"Shit! Let me see if there's anyone in the area-"

"There's no one. We both know that there hasn't been a hunter in this area in years, there's never been a need for one."

"Then you need to-"

"I'm sorry Bobby. I've written a note to Castiel as we were talking, explaining what we discussed. If everything goes well he should be on his way to you by tomorrow morning. We both know I can't do a damn thing, I'm not the hunter I used to be..." Before Bobby could say anything, Pastor Keith hung up and looked down at the note in his hands, "I'm so sorry Castiel..." he whispered as he wrote Bobby's address and phone number on the bottom.

Once that was done he stood up straight with his back cracking eerily in the silence, "Guess I have a date with a demon downstairs, huh?"

Looking around the artwork on the walls Pastor Keith stared at the one portrait on the far end by the attic's sole window; the archangel Gabriel.

"Archangel Gabriel hear my prayer, Tonight I shall be killed by a demon... I accept what is to come and do not fear death. What I ask of you is to please watch over and protect Castiel. Let no harm come to him, let no demon get their hands on him... That is all, Amen."

Standing there for a moment or two, waiting for something but he did not know what, Pastor Keith steeled his reserve and opened the attic door. Without a break in his stride, he walked down the stairs to the front of the church where a man with black eyes grinned upon seeing him.

Chapter Text

[April 08, 1985-Later that night]

As far as he and anyone else was concerned, Gabriel put his angelic life behind him. For years now he's been Loki of the Pagan Gods, he was content in his little corner of the universe with his own witness protection program. Then he heard a Pastor's Prayer to him. The Archangel Gabriel him, not the Loki him. Normally he listened to any prayers to the old him once in a blue moon and hadn't done much about them either. This prayer, however, was a completely different ballgame altogether.

"Archangel Gabriel hear my prayer, Tonight I shall be killed by a demon...I accept what is to come and do not fear death. What I ask of you is to please watch over and protect Castiel. Let no harm come to him, let no demons get their hands on him... That is all, Amen."

The man, Pastor Keith Jacobs, had said Castiel. It could've been a coincidence but Gabriel wasn't so sure. It had been almost nine years since his little brother Castiel disappeared from heaven. Gabriel only knew because of how loud all the angels were talking about it, he may have left heaven long ago but Gabriel never turned 'off' his angel radio. One day Castiel had apparently just vanished into thin air, there were search parties lead by his own garrison but he was never found. Throughout the years even Gabriel found himself keeping an eye out for Castiel. The last time Gabriel had seen Castiel was just before he skipped out on heaven but Castiel was just a fledgling by then. He shouldn't care about where Castiel went, he probably went into his own witness protection just as Gabriel did. But he couldn't forget the betrayed look on Fledgling Castiel's face went Gabriel left, or Castiel's cries and prayers to him every night afterward.

With his mind made up, knowing not to waste any more time than he already had, Gabriel flew to the church where Pastor Keith's prayer had come from.

Gabriel arrived at the small church, and immediately his eyes found the prone form of Pastor Keith, realizing he had been too late. A stifled gasp behind him made Gabriel spin around to see some kid standing a bit of way behind him staring at the Pastor Keith. There was something a bit familiar about the kids' eyes... Now it was Gabriel's turn to gasp, he'd recognize those eyes anywhere. Even though in heaven there was no need for Vessels or anything other than one's true form, Fledglings always took on their true vessels look, their persona, until they grew out of their fledgling stage. Castiel had been the only Fledgling with hair that dark and eyes that bright.

"Castiel?" Gabriel murmured quietly. Even so, the kids head still snapped over to look at him as his eyes widened in panic.

"How... How do you know my name?"

"Wait," Gabriel frowned, "Are you messing with me?"

But Gabriel knew Castiel wasn't. Even as a fledgling Castiel hadn't been too fond of jokes.

"You're not the demon that killed Pastor Keith..." Tears welled up in Castiel's eyes and but did not fall, "Who are you?"

Gabriel needed to know for sure, "Castiel do you really not know who I am?" 

"Should I?" Castiel tilted his head to the side and took half a step back, as though preparing himself to run.

"My name is..." Gabriel hesitated, " name is Loki. I am a Pagan God, better known as the trickster. Your friend here; Pastor Keith prayed to me to come to watch over you."

"...Never heard of you..."

"Ah!" Gabriel gasped clutching his chest in mock horror, "Never heard of me?! The trickster!"

"I'm sorry..." Castiel looked down, accidentally looking at Pastor Keith's lifeless body.

"Hey, hey hey..." Gabriel whipped out a lemon lollipop, he wasn't too big on sour so he usually didn't eat the lemon ones, "Here, and don't look okay? It's not something a kid should see."

Castiel nodded his head solemnly and reluctantly looked back at Gabriel, he quietly took the lollipop as well.

Taking one look at Castiel’s closed off facial expression and tense posture, Gabriel frowned. Already knowing he may someday regret doing this Gabriel said, "Why don't you come to stay with me for a bit? I can teach you about the supernatural...then you'll be more prepared for this sort of thing."

Castiel bit his lip in thought. Gabriel was more than willing to let Castiel think this over but they had to get out of there soon before morning or the cops showed up.

"I..." Castiel's eyes lit up in determination, "Okay. I'll go with you, but... will you teach me how to fight?"

“Fight?” Gabriel repeated incredulously, "Where's that coming from?"

Castiel glanced over at the Pastor’s body, “I want to learn how to fight so I can protect the people I care about from... from monsters.”

Gabriel pressed his lips into a thin line, “...We’ll discuss this later okay? It’s not that I don’t want to teach you to fight but I’m not really big on the whole fighting thing.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes at Gabriel and after a few tense moments passed, he nodded in agreement.

"Great!" Gabriel grinned, clapping his hands together loudly, "Let's go!"

Gabriel raised his hand prepared to snap his fingers and leave this place but was interrupted by Castiel quickly saying, "Wait! There's something I need to grab!"

"Oh," Gabriel put his hand down, "Alright well, hurry up. We really do need to get going."

Running towards the back of the church where the stairs leading up to the attic were, Castiel raced up them taking two steps at a time. He's never been in Pastor Keith's attic, the backroom section that Pastor Keith had forbidden him from going near, but Castiel felt as though he should grab at least a few things from there to take with him. The attic certainly wasn't what he had expected. It was dingy, cold and had a smell of old furniture and mold. But the most beautiful thing about it was all the antique looking books that lined every shelf and desk of the room. They were all different from the books out in the library section he was used to seeing. Lightly dragging his forefinger along the spine of every book in his reach, Castiel's eyes searched along the floor to the furniture of the room. There in the far corner just under the window by the door was a brown, clearly used, duffle bag. Castiel suspected the bag may not be empty but he certainly didn't expect it to be full of various books, a thick blank journal with a wad of cash stuffed between the cover and first page, and a yellow envelope with his name sprawled out in Pastor Keith's neat cursive handwriting.

It was too soon. He just saw Pastor Keith alive a few hours ago, and now here he was rooting through his stuff in his attic like someone fighting over a will. That thought made Castiel pause, did Pastor Keith have a family?

"Hey, Cassie we don't have all day!"

Castiel took a deep breath in, held it for a moment before exhaling. He had forgotten about Loki. Was he really about to leave with a complete stranger, who claims to not even be human but a god nonetheless? The thought itself made his head spin and his stomach flip, but...

Yes. Yes, he was.

"I'm coming!" Just before he left the attic with the three extra books he took from the shelves, Castiel without really thinking about it also grabbed the rosemary beads that were laying on top of a facedown portrait labeled 'Angel of Thursday'.

Leaving the attic and making his way back towards where Loki was waiting for him, Castiel froze halfway there. He changed direction and made his way over towards Pastor Keith’s body instead. Castiel was well aware of Loki’s eyes following his every move but ignored him in favor of gently closing the Pastor’s eyes and saying a small prayer for the man who had shown him kindness.

His shoulders shook ever so slightly as an unbearable urge to yell and cry took over him.

"Shhh, Cassie. Come on, it'll be okay." Castiel fell two warm arms wrap around him in a firm embrace, sort of like they were trying to hold him together. "...We really need to get going now..."

Suddenly, Castiel's body lurched forewords; it felt as though the ground was being pulled from beneath his feet and that he was floating. And just as quickly as it had started... it ended.

"Welcome to my humble abroad!" The arms pulled back and although he already missed the feeling of them wrapped around him, providing at least some comfort, Castiel was glad for space, it gave him time to look around at wherever Loki had taken them, "Me casa et Su case... Or something like that."

The place was... huge.

Castiel's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He could see one staircase after any leading up in a spiral. The walls were at least twenty feet high and a golden color. There were bowls of gumdrops and other sweets on practically every surface. The floor was marble, and the windows were covered with long green drapes but light still shone in. All in all, it looked fit for a king. A sweet tooth king, but a king nonetheless. Something about it had a small feeling of nostalgia swell inside his chest but Castiel pushed it to the side.


Castiel looked over to see Loki staring at him and gesturing at the room in general. Castiel tried to smile at the Pagan God but something about Loki’s expression told him he had failed, miserably.

“I...You have a lovely home,” Castiel bowed his head slightly, “Thank you.”

Chapter Text

[April 12, 1985-Midday-Bobby Singer Salvage Yard]

One day. Two days. Three days. Four days. For four whole days, Bobby's been waking up at the ass crack of dawn, even though he didn't sleep until well past midnight, waiting throughout the day for any sight of this Castiel kid who never showed. Maybe he should've sent someone to go pick the kid up.

"Bobby!" A pause, "Bobby, you here?!"

"What the hell?" Bobby muttered his eyes widening when he saw just who was calling for him, "Just fucking fantastic..."

John Winchester was here. Of all freaking people to show up on his doorstep, John Winchester was not one Bobby felt like dealing with right now.


John flung open the front door, Bobby mentally kicked himself for forgetting to lock it earlier due to how tired he felt and walked into the kitchen with a bundle in his arms and some scrawny kid trailing behind him. Subconsciously Bobby realized the kids were probably Johns' kids; Sam and Dean.

"Why didn't you answer me?" John asked, coming into the room all the way and setting Sam on the floor. Dean immediately stood in front of Sam blocking Bobby from seeing him but refused to look towards Bobby.

Bobby sighed, "What are you doing here, John?"

John grinned, "Rufus called. Said you've been ignoring calls from him and when he had someone drive past you just been sitting outside all day doing nothing..."

"Tell Rufus to mind his own goddamn business..." Bobby snorted but then sighed, "But we do need to talk. I got some news I think could help ya out."

John frowned, "News like what?"

After having John follow him into the kitchen and John sent Dean to play in the living room with Sammy Bobby explained everything. From Keith's phone call to his possible more than likely death to even what he's been doing waiting for this Castiel character to show up even though he never showed.

Clenching his fists by his sides John sudden spun around and kicked at Bobby’s desk. "Damnit!"

"Calm down you idjit." Bobby snapped, "I doubt the kid's even there anymore. As long as he ain't dead you still have your lead."

"And how the hell am I supposed to find him?!" John retorted angrily. His first lead on that thing that took Mary away from me, from my boys... damn! And it's gone!

"Easy. We'll put to use having all these damn hunter's numbers and maybe contact a few psychic's."

"...Ok..." John took a deep breath forcing himself to calm down, "OK. What do you need me to do?"

"As of right now? Nothing." Bobby turned around to head into his study, "I got a few extra rooms here. Make use of them. I'll start contacting the other hunters and tell them to keep an eye out for this Castiel kid and call me when they get any hint of him even being in the area."

"What? No!" John protested, but before he could say anything else Bobby cut him off.

"John you're useless right now. You look like you're about to collapse where you're standing. Do you want to be of some help? Go. Rest. Then later after we all eat, we can get to work on finding a few Psychics to help us out. Maybe get a description of the kid."

"..." John nodded in agreement after a brief stare off which Bobby had won. But just as he was about to leave the room, he froze. Bobby had said they needed a psychic, and he knew a psychic!

"Missouri Moseley!" John called out striding quickly back to Bobby's side just as he was picking up his phone about to start calling other hunters.


"Missouri Moseley! She's a psychic from my neighborhood in Lawrence! She's the one who told me about the supernatural existing... she can help us!"

Bobby suddenly scowled at John, "What are you waiting for you idjit? Call her!"

John scowled Bobby's way but did as was told. Finally, after the phone rang two-three now four times somebody picked up.

"John Winchester, what could've possibly caused you to call me after almost an entire year?"

John winced slightly, "Hello Missouri..."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Right." John coughed slightly before sighing, "Well... I need your help."

"...Are you going to say with what or just waste my time today?"

Scowling John answered, "I got a lead on what... k-killed Mary."


"The thing is, it's a person. I have the name of the kid but not what he looks like for where he is now."

"I told you before... I don't know everything John."

"I know but... could you just try?"



"Fine. Give me the child's name before I change my mind."

"It's uh.." John looked over at Bobby who rolled his eyes and snatched the phone away from John's hands.

"This is Bobby Singer; I'm a hunter. I'm helping John out. Listen, the kid's name is Castiel. Or that's what I was told."

Bobby frowned when he heard the sharp intake of breath on the other line.

"Castiel? Oh lord, thank heavens that boy is alright!"

"You already know him," Bobby stated.

"Yes. Yes, I do, I'm afraid I'm the one who scared the boy outta Kansas. He's a psychic. He and his family moved into John's old home. The boy gets visions. One frequent one of his is the night Mary was killed."

"Well... I guess that makes this easier for us then?"

"The boy's young. Maybe a few years older than Dean. That's John's oldest. He's got almost black hair and the brightest blue eyes you'll ever see. Pale skin and not too tall either. Last I saw him he was wearing jeans and a plain t-shirt. Can’t say I know where he ran off too. ”

Bobby wrote down everything Missouri had told him, including her phone number and address, before telling her his address and then hanging up.

"Alright." Bobby turned to John, "Let's find us a kid."


[June 14, 1985-Gabriel [Loki’s] Mansion] 

Castiel hummed softly as he walked down the hall to the house's library so that he could get more studying of the supernatural done today. It was nearing two in the morning and he knew that on the slight chance of Loki being here if he heard that Castiel was up this early he'd demand an explanation and then knock him out with a snap of his fingers like he had done the last time Castiel had been up so early in the morning. It still unnerved him just thinking about what Loki could be capable of with just a snap of his fingers. . .

Castiel shook his head. There was no point in dwelling on that, Loki wouldn't hurt him.

Ever since he came here Loki's been watching Castiel constantly and anytime Castiel forgot to eat anything because he was busy in the library reading or lost in thought, Loki would freak out claiming that 'You're human Cassie! Humans need to eat or they'll die!'. Now Castiel knew without food he would starve, but was it really his fault for forgetting to eat just a few times? He may not have been living on the streets for too long but Castiel could clearly remember how hard it was to come across anything to eat without risk of getting in trouble or sick, which was why on some days he hadn't gotten anything to eat whatsoever, he didn't want Loki to have to waste any of his food on him. Plus it was kind of hard to keep any food down when all he's been thinking about and dreaming about was his visions. Something which Loki didn’t even know about. He definitely was losing sleep wondering how Mrs. Murdoch was doing, and how Jimmy was and what he would be doing at that very moment once more.

How could he possibly sleep when so many things were going wrong.

"Awe come on Kali... I said I was sorry,"

Castiel froze halfway down the hall as he heard Loki's voice echo from his room at the end of the hall, around the corner from the library. Castiel wondered briefly who this Kali person was but when he heard how cold and cruel her voice had sounded as she responded with, "Now why on earth should I believe you?"

Castiel decided that it would be best if he wasn't near Loki's room at all or maybe not even in the house at the moment. Though leaving the house was against one of the main rules Loki had asked him to follow.

Hurrying back the way he came, Castiel softly shut his bedroom door behind him and walked over to the dark brown desk in the corner and sat down. Now, what was he supposed to do? He couldn't go to the library If he tried wondering around then that Kali person might find him, and there was nothing inside of his room to actually give him anything to do. Castiel couldn't help but think this Kali person had something to do with Loki vanishing all the time. Castiel was so used to having Jimmy by his side that when he suddenly found himself alone, it was lonely. Just sitting there being as quiet as possible wasn't hard for Castiel to do, he used to have to sit in his old bedroom and be quiet while his parents had guests over and Jimmy was outside playing with the other neighborhood children.

Nobody ever wanted to play with Castiel.

Which was why school stopped being fun for him a long time ago. . .


Startled, Castiel's head snapped up to see Loki standing just a few feet away frowning at him.

"Cassie, what's wrong?"

Confused Castiel tilted his head ever so slightly and stared at Loki waiting for him to explain.

"...Err ...You're crying..."

Slowly lifting a hand up to his cheek Castiel pulled it away and looked down at it to see it was wet. Without even realizing it, he had started crying. Forcing a smile, Castiel looked back up at Loki and spoke softly, "Sorry... I was just thinking. I'm fine."

If anything Loki seemed to be frowning even more, "Don't lie to me."

"Lying is a sin..." Castiel muttered and Loki got a weird look on his face. Sighing Castiel quickly said, "I was thinking about my parents... and my brother."

Now Loki looked surprised, "You have... well. Have a family?"

Castiel nodded, "Yes."

"Well..." Loki looked uncomfortable, "Do you miss them? Is that why you're crying? I could, I could take you to them?"

Without even meaning to Castiel began to laugh, bitter, startling Loki, and said, "I shouldn’t... but I believe I do miss them, I mainly miss Jimmy."

"Who's he?" Loki asked softly sitting next to Castiel on his bed.

Castiel smiled slightly as he began speaking about his brother, "Jimmy's my twin brother, he's the best brother I could ever ask for." Castiel didn't notice as Loki flinched back as though struck, "No matter what happens he'd always be there for me... we'd talk about everything and anything. We'd sneak outside a few times just to be out there, he'd always help me even if I was annoying him. He'd treat me as myself... he never would try to make me be someone I'm not." Castiel focused back on Loki, "It's for Jimmy that I'm doing all of this. To protect him."

Loki smiled wistfully, "...I know what you mean... there was a time I'd do anything within my power for any one of my brothers..."

"You have brothers?" Castiel tilted his head towards Loki.

"Yeah Cassie I do... we haven't seen each other in a long time though..."

"How come?"

Loki frowned looking off in space his gaze distant, "My two oldest brothers; Michael and... Lucy. They were constantly getting into these horrible fights... they brought our other brothers into the fighting as well. They were constantly at each other's throats... now remember we aren't human Castiel... my brothers are very powerful. Every time they fought others got hurt." Loki sighed sadly and looked Castiel in the eye, "So I left. I was just... I was so tired of having to watch my family break apart and watch them all try and kill each other... As far as they're all concerned... I'm dead."

Not really one for physical comfort, Castiel took one look at Loki’s wistful face before he launched himself into Loki's chest and hugged him as tightly as he could manage.

Loki let out a surprised, oof! before he chuckled and hugged Castiel back, "It's fine kiddo, I'm over it..."

Castiel sat back and narrowed his eyes at Loki, "Liar. If you were over it then you wouldn't look so sad when talking about it. I don't know why your brothers keep fighting, and I probably have no right to say this to you, but family's family. You should love them regardless of their quirks or any mistakes they've made."

Grinning, Loki laughed loudly and pulled Castiel, who had yelped, into a tight hug, "...Thanks, Cassie."

Blushing Castiel mumbled, " problem..."

[June 16, 1985-Bobby Singer Salvage Yard]

Bobby sighed and drug a hand down his face. After pulling yet another all-nighter, neither he nor John had gotten any word back from any of the other hunters on where Castiel was or even if the kid was still alive.

They both had high hopes that Castiel was still alive considering the hunter Bobby sent to check out Keith's church hadn't found a kids body anywhere near Keith's nor had the police seen head or tail of him. None of the churchgoers even knew where Castiel lived, they only knew he showed up one day and since then attended the church accompanied by some Mrs. Murdoch. When the hunter tried questioning Mrs. Murdoch he informed Bobby that she had refused to answer any questions and later collapsed due to stress and her poor heart conditions were acting up once more. The only good thing Bobby could think of that had come from not finding Castiel was that John hadn't been on a hunt since and had instead stayed with him focusing on Dean and Sam along with helping with researching from the house. Although Bobby still left for the occasional hunt every now and then, he managed to get Dean to open up to him a bit and allow him to actually be near Sam and talk to the two of them.

John suddenly came stumbling into the room and flopped down into a chair before sliding halfway off of it.

Bobby raised an eyebrow at him.

John groaned, "Sam's finally asleep! And Dean wouldn't go down for his nap until I laid him down next to Sam!"

Bobby nodded before saying, "Has he said anything to ya yet?"

"No..." John righted himself in the chair, "Dean's still not speaking, but I think he's talking to Sam? I'm not sure. Anytime I try to catch him doing it he never seems to be doing it!"

Bobby shook his head, "The boy needs to see someone."

"What am I supposed to do? Take him to a psychiatrist to talk about everything when he can't even tell them the truth?"

"Doesn't matter John, the boy's got to talk to somebody. I think he's made it clear he doesn't plan on speaking to either of us about what's going on in that tiny little head of his."

"I know Bobby. I know..."

[June 27, 1985-Gabriel [Loki's] Mansion]

Today was one of those days where Loki just suddenly disappeared without leaving much of a notice. But Castiel suspected it was coming, he heard that Kali person show up as randomly as Loki would leave throughout the past two weeks and after she'd leave Loki would always get that weird look on his face.

But since he was alone today, and usually when he left Loki would be gone all day, Castiel decided today was the day he'd leave the house. Even though he had said today would be the day he left the house it still took him practically an hour to convince himself to actually get around to going outside and even then he found himself freezing just at the doorway. For some reason, any time Castiel mentioned going out in the past, Loki would become highly defensive and convince Castiel to stay indoors. He knew it was one of Loki's rules but Castiel just couldn't understand why.

"Come on... you can do this..." Castiel mumbled mentally berating himself. Taking a deep breath and then another, Castiel slowly took one step outside of the house. Once he realized that he could actually leave, Castiel did not hesitate to walk further from the house.

Eyes alight, Castiel looked around at the trees. the grass, the flowers, and even the bees flying around. What worried him though was that he could not see any other houses nearby. Although he supposed he could just walk around for a bit and see if he could come across any other houses or even a town. Castiel grinned at the thought of getting to walk around just to see what he could find. Maybe he could even find something for Loki as a thank you of sorts for watching over him. Castiel knew he wasn’t the easiest person to be with and Loki had yet to tell him to leave. With that determined thought in mind, Castiel set off at a fast pace, towards the first direction he saw that didn't lead further into the woods. As time seemed to pass, however, Castiel began to worry that maybe he had taken the wrong way and had gotten himself lost. Due to his walking with his head down as he became lost in thought on how to make it back to the house, Castiel did not see the man running in his direction from another part of the woods until he collided forcefully with him and Castiel fell to the ground with the man falling over him.

Castiel hissed when the man's elbow had accidentally (well he hoped it was an accident) caught him in the nose.

"Wha-? Oh shit."

The added weight was vanished off of Castiel in a matter of seconds and hands were grabbing at his arms, pulling him to his feet.

"Are you okay kid?"

Castiel nodded a bit woozily and finally looked up at the man who seemed to freeze up when Castiel locked eyes with him.

"C-Castiel? You're Castiel? Right?"

Castiel's eyes widened and he turned back around fully intent on getting away from the man who somehow knows his name.

"No, no kid it's okay, really!" The man said just as Castiel was about to take off running, "My names William Harvelle, I'm a hunter. You're Castiel, right? Come on, throw me a bone here."

"Hunter... Hunter of what? And how do you know my name?" Castiel stuttered, his nerves getting the best of him, something which annoyed him.

"I hunt the supernatural... you know, demons, ghosts, vampires, werewolves..." Will sighed, "You get what I mean right? Anyway, A friend of mine; Bobby Singer, he's looking for you. Says it's really important for you to be found and kept safe. Gave me and a couple of other hunters your description."

Castiel tilted his head and stared at Will in confusion, "But why? I don't know him..."

Will shrugged, "Honestly kid, I don't know either but... look just let me give you his number all right? And give him a call, can you promise me that?"

Hesitantly Castiel nodded and watched in silence as Will fumbled to get a pen out of his pocket but when he couldn't seem to find something to write the number on silently Castiel offered him his hand. Smiling at Castiel, Will carefully wrote out this 'Bobby Singer's' number on the back of Castiel's hand.

"There..." Will let go of Castiel's hand and put the pin back into his pocket, "So uh, do you need a ride back to your house my truck ain't too far from here. I can give you a lift. Plus I think you’re better off not wandering around these woods. There are rumors of a spirit hiding here and playing tricks on people."

Castiel shook his head, "Is that why you are here? Are you looking for this spirit? Also, I'm not going back just yet, I need to find a gift."

Now, Will just stared at Castiel, giving him a weird look, "Yeah but I’m starting to think it might just be gossip. I can’t find any spirits or anything else around here. Do you realize that you are in the middle of a forest... right? How do you expect to find a gift?"

"Well... yeah. I do know that I was hoping to walk to a nearby town..."

"Ride to town then?" Will suggested.

Castiel bit his lip and then nodded, " Yes please then. Thank you..."

Will hummed loudly looking thoughtful, "What sort of gift are you looking for?"

"... Something... that won't get lost easily. Something that says I'm grateful, and I don't know..."

"...Well, have you thought about giving them a plant? A gift card or a pet?"

Castiel blinked, "A pet?"

Will chuckled and smiled at Castiel, "Yeah, you know like a cat... a dog, maybe a snake or even a rat. People can have lots of different pets."

Slowly Castiel smiled, "I believe that he would be much more appreciated of a dog rather than a feline. If I got him a rat, he'd probably scream when he sees it."

Castiel followed Will through the forest silently, all he could think about was what type of dog he should get for Loki. How old. And with a startling thought, Castiel realized that he didn't have any money to buy Loki a pet either, well not a lot at least. He had the couple hundred dollars Pastor Keith had left for him.

"Hey, Castiel?"

Looking up Castiel just barely managed to stop himself from walking into Will. He hadn't noticed him stop walking.

"Oh. I'm sorry, what did you say?" Castiel asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"...Don't worry about, the trucks right up ahead." Will shook his head and started walking once more.

Castiel hurried to follow after him and he couldn't help but smile when he Will's truck; it was a dull green with plenty of mud splatters and a few indents with scratches here and there, but what made Castiel smile was the papers strewn all over the back seat, The pictures of Will and some woman who he assumed was Will's wife due to the similar bands on each of their fingers, and there were even a few pictures of Will standing next to a couple of other men.

"You coming?"

Castiel quickly walked around the front of the truck and once Will was in and leaned over to unlock the passenger side door, Castiel climbed in.

The ride in that of itself was fairly pleasant. They didn't talk, but it wasn't one of those awkward silences Castiel so used to feeling in his own household. Once they had arrived into town Will seemed hesitant on parting ways with Castiel but finally after close to thirty minutes of promising to behave and be safe and after Will had then written his own number onto Castiel's hand underneath of Bobby's along with another number to something called the 'Roadhouse' only then did Will finally drive off. As Will drove off Castiel at first felt panic at being left alone in some strange place he’s never been before but then he felt the tempting urges of curiosity grip at his mind, lulling it into a calm sense of state.

Making sure he had the money Pastor Keith left him in his pocket, Castiel had taken to carrying it with him in case of emergencies, he set off in search of a pet store.

Chapter Text

[June 27, 1985 {Later That Day}]

Castiel hid in his bedroom.

He wasn't exactly scared of Loki per se but he was definitely worried after realizing that Loki might not be too happy with him leaving the house without his permission. Also, because of the teeny tiny little fact that Loki wasn't human and could possibly kill him or kick him out of the house anytime, he wanted. A soft whine to the left of him caused Castiel to look over. The dog, he had somehow managed to get for free, was lying on his stomach and was looking up at Castiel with the most pitiful eyes Castiel had ever seen on something before, and that included Jimmy when he wanted something. He found the dog in a cardboard box earlier behind some old building, he knew it was the right dog for Loki the moment he looked it in the eyes.

"What's the matter?" Castiel held his hand out to the dog and waited for him to sniff his hand and give it a lick before reaching up behind his ears to scratch his head.

The dog lets out another low whine before running over to the bedroom door and began scratching at it.

"You... want to go out?" Castiel got up off of his bed and walked over to his bedroom door, once the dog backed up a significant amount Castiel slowly opened the door.

"Wait!" Castiel called out startled as the dog suddenly took off at breakneck speed down the hall and soon down the stairs. Castiel could only hope to god that Loki wasn't home, or on his way home for that matter.

Running after the dog Castiel began to grow worried, any time he got even remotely close to catching him the dog would seem to gain renewed energy and run even farther away.

"Goddamnit!" Castiel yelled as the dog managed to get away yet again, "Come back here!"

"My my Cassie, taking the Lord's name in vain?" A voice said snarkily from behind Castiel, "Wait... who are you talking to?"

Gasping, Castiel spun around and stared at a frowning Loki, "U-uh... n-nobody? hehe..."

Loki crossed his arms, "Now I'm a pretty laid back kind of guy if I do say so myself, so if you snuck a girl in I can't be too mad at you." Loki winked, "But considering how you reacted I doubt it. Plus, you are way too young. So who were you talking to Castiel."

Just as Castiel was about to answer, possibly with some feeble attempt at an excuse, a whitish brown blur came racing down the hall and ramming into Loki's side forcing him back onto his butt.

"What the heck?!"

Castiel gaped as the dog was now standing on its two hind legs pushing at Loki's chest and barking loudly in his face.

"W-Wait! It's okay!" Castiel said hurryingly and wrapped his arms around the dog's middle and pulled him up against his chest, "Loki's a... a friend?" Although Castiel sounded a bit uncertain it seemed to be enough to calm the dog down... and make Loki stare at Castiel with not just a small bit of hurt in his eyes before it quickly vanished.

"Why is there a dog in the house?" Loki asked as he reached forward and petted said dogs head, and laughing when the dog started licking his hand and trying to get to his face.

"W-Well..." Castiel looked down, "He's a puppy... a Jack Russell Terrier... and well... I got him as a gift f-for you..." When Loki continued to say nothing Castiel looked back up and saw Loki beaming and him but at the same time looking a little bit sad, "A-Are you okay? Loki?"

Loki chuckled and pulled both Castiel and the dog down into his lap where he then hugged the both of them tightly, "I'm okay Cassie... Thank you."

Castiel said nothing but hugged Loki back for as long as he would need him too. A few minutes later Loki let go and awkwardly Castiel crawled out of Loki's lap but sat next to him on the floor still holding the dog.

"So..." Loki grinned, "This guy has a name?"

Castiel shook his head, "Nope! You have to name him, he is yours from now on."

"Hmm..." Loki stared at the dog, "A names reeeeeeeeal important. I'm going to have to come up with something awesome!"

Castiel smiled and handed the dog over to Loki, once Loki was holding him securely and entirely focused on him, Castiel slowly stood up and made his way back upstairs to his bedroom, and softly shut the door behind him. Sighing loudly Castiel looked down at the numbers written on his hand, they had gotten a bit smudged but were still pretty eligible. He was surprised Loki didn’t seem to notice them. First things first, Castiel was going to call Bobby Singer before he calls Mr. Harvelle or the Roadhouse since the man was searching for him for some reason. Walking towards the phone and picking it up was one thing but actually putting the number in and calling? That was another thing entirely.

But... he did promise Mr. Harvelle he would call this Bobby person...

Breathing deeply Castiel slowly put in the number for Bobby Singer and waited with apprehension as it rang.

"Hello?" A gruff voice answered startling Castiel.

"U-Umm hello..."

"Listen I ain't got no time for prank calls-"

"N-no!" Castiel cut in, "I... I promised Mr. Harvelle that I would call you..."

"Bill? He gave ya my number?"

"His name is Bill? I thought it was W-William..."

"Yeah that's his name but we all call him Bill. Now, why'd he give you my number."

Castiel gulped so loudly he swore that Mr. Singer must've heard him, "H-He uh... he said you were looking for me? M-My names Castiel..."

"John! GET DOWN HERE!" Castiel flinched at how loud Bobby had yelled, "Listen, kid, just hang on a sec, okay? Don't go hanging up on me."


Castiel stayed silent and listened to the noises over the phone, they were mostly just a few thumps and hurried whispers to near shouts before someone finally got back on the phone. For a moment Castiel thought they had forgotten he was on the line.


"It's uh, Castiel..."

"Right! No... Uh. Yeah, Castiel. My names John. John Winchester, you might know me?"

Castiel thought long and hard on just how exactly he might know a John Winchester and he knew the said man was getting impatient. Then all of a sudden Castiel knew exactly who John Winchester was, "You're the man from the photos! You're Sam and Dean's father! You're Mary-" Castiel napped his mouth shut and whispered, "...I'm so so sorry Mr. Winchester..."

"..Y-Yeah... That's me... listen. I really need to know how you know all of that and what else you know."


"This is really important!"

"I dreamt it," Castiel closed his eyes and frowned, "Y-years ago on November second I dreamt about what was about to happen to Mrs. Winchester just before it happened. I wanted to save her, I really really wish I could've, I'm so sorry Mr. Winchester.”

"Castiel. Hey Kid, listen to me, It's... it's not your fault. You couldn't have done anything anyway..."

"B-But..." Castiel hunched over slightly, staring down at his bedroom floor with a faraway look on his face, "I knew... I always see it... why can't I ever stop it? Why do they have to die? Why can't I ever save any of them?"

"What-? They?... How... how old are you kid?"

Biting his lip Castiel stuttered, "I-I'm nine..."


Castiel flinched as John’s voice came screaming over the phone, then just as suddenly as John got on the phone he was off it again as Bobby's voice came back, "Ignore the idjit."

In the background, Castiel could hear John yelling. Unable to help it a sob escaped from Castiel, he’s had nightmares every night ever since Pastor Keith was killed and now that he actually heard John Winchester’s voice it was as though he suddenly realized just how real everything was all over again.

"Damn it, John! Shut the hell up! You're making the kid cry!"

Almost immediately John stopped yelling but Castiel could still hear him mutter a faint, "Shit."

"Castiel? Kid listen to me you've got to calm down, crying ain't going to do you no good boy."

"I-I know." Castiel muttered, wiping furiously at his eyes, "S-Sorry."

"Don't apologize, are you alright?"

Shakenly breathing in and out a few times trying to calm down, Castiel hesitantly answered, "I... I don't know about being a-alright... But I'll stop crying..."

"...Listen, kid, I'm sorry about this alright? John is too but we really need your help."

"I-I know... I want to help..."

"Can you come to Singer Salvage Yard? I'll give ya the address or do you need a ride? I'll send somebody out. I'm sure Bill wouldn't mind, he should still be in the area."

"I... I can't." Castiel hurryingly added, "N-Not yet I mean! I-I have a way of learning everything I'll need to know to help you and keep you all safe. Just give me some time... please."

"...Can't ya learn it here?"

Castiel shook his head before realizing that Bobby or John could see him, "No... I'm sorry... but to actually be useful I wish to learn as much as possible... I apologize, Mr. Singer, Mr. Winchester."

"...Damnit ...J-Just hang on okay? Lemme talk to John."

Castiel stayed still with the phone pressed against his ear as Bobby and John talked to one another on the other line. Finally, after what Castiel realized was 15 minutes John got on the phone instead of Bobby.

"Okay kid. Take your time but... not too long okay?"

"Thank you, Mr. Winchester..."

"Yeah yeah..."

"Umm... Mr. Winchester?"


"...Can you promise me one thing?"

"...I don't..." Castiel waited as Bobby muttered something to John before John continued speaking, "Okay. Yeah sure. What is it?"

"Can you promise me not to go on any more hunts until I come to you...?"

"No. No way, I can't do that."

Castiel sighed, somehow he felt like he knew that'd be John's answer, "Can you at least promise me you'll leave Sam and Dean with Mr. Singer then? Or with Mr. Harvelle? Please?"

"The boys? Why?"

"Because... they're younger than me aren't they? Don't you think they should be kept away from this stuff just for a while at least? If I was them I'd rather have a somewhat normal childhood with my father..."

"...I... I promise..." John cleared his throat, "If it's alright with Bobby the boys can stay here when I'm on a hunt or if I meet this Mr. Harvelle and I trust him then... Then yeah they can stay with him too."

"Thank you, Mr. Winchester..." Before John could even be given a chance to respond Castiel quickly hung up just as his bedroom door was swung open revealing slobber soaked but still beaming Loki, who was holding his dog in his arms.

“Whatcha doing in your room? Jacky here wants to play with you too!”

“Jacky?” Castiel repeated, amused.

Loki shrugged, “What? It’s the only thing he seemed to respond to.”

Chuckling, Castiel stood up and moved over towards the door, he was about to walk past Loki but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Cassie... why were you crying?” Loki asked solemnly.

“Nightmares,” Castiel said simply.

“You weren’t asleep.” Loki’s voice had a hint of accusatory in it, almost as though daring Castiel to try lying to him.

Castiel shrugged, “Don’t have to be asleep to live through a nightmare.”

Not giving Loki a chance to respond, Castiel slid past him and headed downstairs towards the foyer. The foyer was the only place in the house he could think of that Jacky could go in without risking anything breaking. He’d suggest going outside to play but Castiel decided to leave that decision to Loki.

Chapter Text

[May 7, 1986-Gabriel [Loki’s] mansion]

Castiel wasn’t sure how to go about the situation.

When he’d woken up earlier due to shouting in the foyer he was worried and had grabbed the silver blade, decent sized and carved full of various sigils against different types of supernatural. He quietly left his bedroom and snuck down the hall. He made sure to concentrate on keeping himself hidden, growing up pretending to be invisible was a talent of his, most of the time it was almost as if he had become invisible. When he arrived at the foyer Loki was there and he was not alone. There was a man there, taller than Loki with blond hair, blue eyes, and a British accent.

He couldn’t exactly make out what they were saying because they had stopped yelling and were now just whispering furiously.

For some reason, the longer Castiel stared at the stranger the more saddened he felt. In his mind, he could picture the man older, possibly twenty or so years and bleeding from a stab wound through the back. Castiel shook his head as though to physically remove the image from his mind. Sadly the shaking of his head made the slight dizziness he felt intensify and he stumbled forward, bumping into the doorframe. The reaction was immediate, all the sounds of the previous conversation stopped and when Castiel looked up, the eyes of both men were on him.

Not sure what to do, Castiel simply stood there until Loki or the stranger decided to speak. Finally, after a few tense moments had passed, the stranger broke the silence.


Castiel tilted his head, the way the man stared at him and said his name was oddly similar to how Loki acted when they first met.

Loki was tense as he spoke, “Cassie, mind waiting for us in the library?”

Meaning that was Loki’s way of telling Castiel to leave without actually saying it. Nodding slightly Castiel’s eyes drifted back towards the stranger.

Before leaving, Castiel softly said, “You already knew who I am, yet I do not know you but... I trust you. Not sure why, but I feel like you are someone that I trust.”

Ignoring Loki and the strangers surprised stares, Castiel left the room and headed to his bedroom instead of the library. He had a feeling the two of them would be talking for a while. By the time Loki had come to his room to collect him, three hours had already passed and Castiel was hungry. However, he knew they all had things to discuss so he decided not to mention that he was hungry. Something which he came to regret as minutes later once he was seated next to Loki on the long couch and the stranger across from them and his stomach had growled seconds after he sat down.

The stranger looked astonished while Loki glared at him.

“If you were hungry why didn’t you say anything?”

Castiel shrugged and calmly said, “I figured this was more important. It’s alright, I’m not starving, just a tad hungry.”

The stranger had a distressed look on his face, “You shouldn’t wait until you are starving before you eat.”

Castiel fought back the urge to say that sometimes people didn’t have a choice in the matter, that not everyone could eat whenever they wanted too.

“I’m fine.”

Loki sighed, “Come on, what do you want to eat?”

Castiel stood up and quickly walked past Loki towards the kitchen, he learned within days of coming here that Loki did not know how to cook. Though he could make food of any kind appear with a snap of his fingers. Castiel preferred a more original approach. Castiel still didn’t feel right taking Loki’s food, but at least he was able to repay Loki by cleaning around the house. Entering the kitchen, Castiel made simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Something he loved to have as a snack most days.

Turning towards the stranger, Castiel asked, “Would you like one? Loki isn’t fond of them.”

“Loki?” The stranger repeated, eyeing Loki.

Loki shrugged, “It’s my Pagan title.”

Shaking his head, the stranger turned back towards Castiel, “No thank you, I do not need to eat.”

“Are you a supernatural deity as well?” Castiel asked.

The stranger blinked at him, “What?”

“You and Loki clearly know of one another but act like family. So I assumed you weren’t human.” Castiel explained, picking up his plate with his sandwich on it and sitting down at the kitchen table.

The stranger snorted, “No way would I be a human.”

Castiel frowned at the man, “There is nothing wrong with being human.”

“O-Kay!” Loki clapped his hands together loudly, “Moving on, Cassie this is my cousin Balthazar. He decided that he’s going to be living here with us.”

Something Loki definitely did not look happy about, but Castiel choice not to mention that.

Castiel slid out of the kitchen chair and help his hand out towards Balthazar, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Balthazar grinned sadly, “...Nice to meet you as well, Castiel.”

Balthazar sat down across from Castiel and after a few minutes had passed with him simply staring, Castiel finally asked why he was watching him.

“Well,” Balthazar squinted, “How old are you?”

“Easy! He’s uh…” Loki trailed off.

Castiel sighed, “I’m 10 years old.”

Balthazar’s eyes widened, “You’re… quite young.”

“I’ll be a teenager in three years,” Castiel said slightly offended by Balthazar’s tone.

“Oh god,” Loki shook his head, “I can’t wait until you go through puberty.”

After a few minutes of conversation, most of which involved Balthazar questioning Castiel on his likes and dislikes, Loki and Balthazar both left to discuss family matters, leaving Castiel in the kitchen to finish eating. Castiel watched them leave with a thoughtful glint in his eyes. He felt as though Balthazar living with them would be good for all of them in the long run. One thing Castiel was looking forward to was seeing how Balthazar would react to Loki’s pranks. He could start to enjoy them now that he’s not the only target for Loki to pick on. Finishing his sandwich, Castiel quietly washed his dish before leaving for the library. Balthazar’s name didn’t sound familiar to him as a Pagan god, he tried to memorize all of the Pagan gods once he started living with Loki, which is why he wanted to get some research done and find out what exactly Balthazar was.

Castiel barely made it halfway through one of Loki’s many folklore books before he had to stop due to the building of pressure in his head. Only slightly alarmed, Castiel put down the book and attempted to stand up but was forced to stop as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Not sure what was going on, Castiel knew he needed to get Loki.

The moment he let go of the library chair and stepped forward he collapsed to the ground.

“Help. Help me!”

Blinking, Castiel lifted his head and looked around the empty library, trying to figure out where the terrified voice was coming from.

“Somebody please!”

A warm liquid began trailing its way down from his nostril to his upper lip. He was having a nosebleed. Just then, as blurred images began dancing in front of him, Castiel realized what was happening. He was beginning to have a vision, only for some reason, he couldn’t see it clearly. He was worried because the voice he heard sounded young and so scared that he could practically feel their fear. Also, anytime he had a vision, it was because someone was about to die, or was going to be injured horribly. Forcing himself to focus on the vision, Castiel concentrated. The aching pressure in his head building until it felt as though it was going to explode. Suddenly the vision clarified, and the pain he felt tripled.

Opening his mouth, Castiel screamed.

Running through the woods, branches that were sticking too far out snagging onto clothing and cutting into the skin.

A shadow of something large, giving chase.  Growling and gaining speed.

“Help me, help me!”

A snap of twigs underfoot and suddenly the ground vanished. Tumbling down, fiery pain in arms and legs, until a blow to the head ends it.


Castiel jerked suddenly, his entire body shivering violently. There were hands grabbing at his shoulders, holding him still and someone was pressing their fingers to his forehead. Castiel weakly fought against them, against their hold. Whatever he just saw, whoever it was about, they needed his help. They needed his help now.

Blinking, Castiel locked eyes with a horrified looking Loki whose lips were moving but Castiel couldn’t hear a word he was saying.

Gasping slightly, Castiel choked out, “In the woods. Help. Help me please, it’s going to kill me…” Castiel shuddered, “I fell down, down, you have to find me. Please, don’t let it kill me. Please.”

Loki was shaking him now, grabbing Castiel’s head and trying to force him to meet his eyes again but Castiel closed them.

“Let me go.” Castiel reopened his eyes and looked at Balthazar, who was staring at him open-mouthed, “Let me go now.”

Wordlessly Balthazar let go and Castiel sat up. Both of them were watching him bug-eyed, but Castiel didn’t care. He struggled to pull himself up to his feet, Loki had to reach out and help him.

Once standing Castiel turned towards both of them, “Please help me.”

“What the bloody hell’s going on?!” Balthazar yelled, “Are one of these books cursed?!”

Loki quickly shook his head, “No! I made sure to get rid of anything that could be dangerous before I let him in the library.”

Annoyed, Castiel snapped, “It’s not a curse! I’ve always been like this if we don’t hurry someone is going to die!”

Balthazar and Loki both grew serious, Loki broke the silence that fell over them, “Explanations later.”

Castiel nodded his head, “We need to get into the woods. There’s a creature chasing someone. Someone young. They’re running but they fell down and they are trapped. We need to help them.”

Castiel noticed how they both got an odd look on their faces as he spoke but he brushed it aside, “Please we need to hurry.”

Not wasting any time, the three of them took off running into the woods.

Someone needed their help.

At first, they stuck together, not wanting to get lost or separated in case the creature made an appearance, but as the minutes ticked on by they realized they needed to split up if they wanted to find anyone soon. It was a few minutes after Castiel wandered off on his own that he came across a familiar path in the woods. He walked down it, not exactly running but at a fast pace nonetheless. Seeing the broken branches and twigs, Castiel sped up. It was as he neared a deep hole in the ground, one which he realized was apart of an old cavern, that Castiel realized this was a part of his vision. Before they split up, Loki and Balthazar had both told him to pray to them and they would find him. He wasn’t sure at the time what exactly they meant, but looking down the hole in the ground, Castiel knew he couldn’t do this alone.

“I pray to thee... Balthazar and Loki, I found it, I-I don’t know how to tell you to get here-”

“You don’t need too.”

Startled, Castiel spun around just in time to see Loki and Balthazar appear right behind him.

“This is it?” Balthazar asked, moving forward and frowning down the hole, “I’ll head down. Watch over him, will you?”

Loki scoffed but quickly wrapped an arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pulled him back from the edge of the hole.

Castiel watched Balthazar vanish down the hole before looking at Loki, “The creature will be here soon.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth before a large black blur came bolting out of the trees, right towards them. Loki pushed Castiel to the side and a long, silvery, odd shaped blade slide out of his sleeve into his hand. Castiel watched with wide eyes as Loki and the creature seemed to dance around one another occasionally one of them breaking the trance and leaping in for an attack before falling back. Balthazar suddenly appeared crouched down next to Castiel with a young girl huddled in his arms. Unconscious or dead, Castiel couldn’t tell. Balthazar reached out with one hand, grabbed Castiel by the arm and suddenly they were in the foyer of Loki’s home.

Balthazar set the little girl down on the ground and rested two of his fingers against her forehead. After a moment, he pulled his fingers away and told Castiel, “She’ll be alright, and she won’t remember anything of what happened to her tonight.”

“What about-” Castiel began,

"I’m fine.” Loki appeared, “The creatures taken care of too. Once I take this girl back to her house, I think it’s time you explain what the hell happened!”

Castiel winced, he’d been hoping to avoid this.

Balthazar cut in, “I think Cassie here should get some rest first, remember not even an hour ago he was unresponsive in the library and we couldn’t heal him?”

“Why couldn’t we heal you?” Loki suddenly asked, “I know my powers work on you but why wouldn’t either of us heal you?”

Castiel shrugged in response but stayed silent, causing Loki to sigh.

“Fine just... just go to your room. We can talk tomorrow, okay?”