Work Header

Tatsumaki defeats the Caped Baldy

Work Text:

by neorenamon

Tatsumaki stood out in an empty field. She tapped her feet because her 'guest' was late... very late. The Tornado of Terror was not known for her patience, but she felt what was about to happen was well worth the wait.

After all, she sent him a text message telling him where to meet her to discuss a huge secret, and she could ONLY tell Saitama if he came there alone.

Much to her chagrin, a taxi came driving across the dirt towards her.

"He... he... How could he?!" she spluttered.

The cab stopped as Saitama climbed out the rear driver's side door. He came up and handed the driver some money through the open window before they exchanged words. The cabdriver shrugged before he turned around and no doubt drove back towards the main road.

"Saitama, you idiot!" she yelled, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Paying the cab driver," he replied evenly.

"You have super-speed!" she replied, "It would have taken seconds to run here!"

"But..." he pleaded, "All the speed in the world doesn't matter if you don't know where you're going."

She calmed down and paused before replying, "Okay... that's very reasonable."

"Now what's so important that I had to come alone to an empty field far away from City Z?"

She began crossing the field grateful that the hard packed dirt wasn't muddy at the time. "Oh," she purred, "What I'm about to reveal to you should never be heard by another living soul, especially villains and monsters."

He blinked as the sunlight shined off his chrome dome.

She walked up to him as she gestured for him to lean closer, so he did.

"I know your little secret," she whispered, "Your one true weakness. Well, perhaps it's two weaknesses."

"I have weakness?"

He felt her telekinetic power engulf his body as she answered, "You can't fly."

Her power sent him a good hundred feet into the air.

"Oh," she shouted, "and you have no ranged attack powers!"

"Okay," he replied evenly. He realized that she was right. Without another hero around, he couldn't fly and couldn't use any attacks at a reasonable distance. Even if he did the super hand-clap thing he read about some giant green man using, she was too far away now to be affected other than annoying her ears.

"I can keep you up there all day! All day and then some!"

"So... what do you want?" he asked as he looked down on the Tornado of Terror.

"Publicly concede that I bested you!" she gloated.

"Okay," he answered.

Tatsumaki paused. She couldn't believe someone who could beat anyone with one punch would give up so easily. "And... and one other thing!"


she thought a moment before she said, "Take me to City E and take me to my favorite Ramen Vendor! You owe me one bowl of my choice!"


She lowered him back to the ground.

"But," he said, "I can't call a cab..."

She floated over to his arms and said, "You're just about the fastest man alive! Just RUN THERE!"

"But you..."

"Will protect myself with a telekinetic shield!"


She had no idea she'd best him so easily. As he took off in a blur, she wondered if she let him off too lightly...