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Cannibal Stuff

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Blood spewed upon impact, splattering upon the pavement. Nigel liked his guns, he liked them a lot, but sometimes there's something so much more gratifying about punching the lights out of a cunt than putting a bullet through their knee cap. Nigel was pissed, and rightly so. He missed the electricity bill for last month and Adam was pissed at him. Even though he was the one to tell Adam to put the account on automatic pay from his bank.

So here he is, hasn't been laid in a four days solid and then, of course, this little shit comes up to him and starts talking smack about how he and Darko ran business. Nigel just thanked God for delivering him some form of stress reliever.

He considered taking up meditation, but he couldn't handle the way it silenced the voices in the back of his head. It made him feel agitated. He turned his attention back to the kid. "Now, next time you open your fucking mouth, you'll think twi-" His cell phone started to ring.

Nigel sighed and let the kid drop to the ground, fumbling around his pant's pocket. He raised it to see an unknown number. Movement caught in the corner of his eye, that little shit was trying to leave while he was distracted. Nigel grabbed him by the collar with one hand and answered the phone with the other.


"Don't. Fucking. Move...This is Nigel, who the fuck is this?"

"Good afternoon, Nigel. Eloquent, as always. I expected no different" He immediately dropped the kid while holding the phone away from his face, "The fuck you doing lying around for?! Get out of my fucking face, you're dirtying up the fucking floor, you cunt!" He brought the phone back to his ear. "Listen you asshole, I don't know what you did this time but I told you back in October that that was the last fucking time I was going to do you a favor. I don't care if we're brothers or not"

"That's not why I was calling. Although, I suppose that would be great to know in the future. When you're in trouble, I won't hesitate to let you drown either"

"Sure, whatever, I don't give a fuck. What do you want?"

".....I merely thought about visiting my little brother and-"

"Little brother? By like two fucking minutes, don't kid yourself. Just like I won't kid myself. You need to lay low don't you?"


"You're already on your way here, aren't you?" The silence continued, "You are such an asshole, you know that?....Just count yourself lucky that I still have an apartment" Although, he didn't spend much time there lately.

"Why would you not have an apartment?"

"None of your fucking business, that's why" He sighed, "When will you be here?"

"I would say...around 3 pm" Nigel looked at the clock. It was already 2: 28 pm. "Damn it, Hannibal....Fine, I'll be there to let you in" He hung up the phone and went looking for Darko. He was going home early today.



Will noticed the man, the instant he walked through the door. He wore a striped three-piece suit with a phone to his ear. He wasn't sure if it was impressive or obnoxious. He was leaning more towards obnoxious. "I would say...around 3 pm....Thank y-". The man looked affronted by the person on the other end of the line. "you...Well, that was rude. Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where I can find your psychology section?"

Will messed around the computer to avoid looking at him, "Oh yeah, it's the second shelf from the back on your right". He glanced briefly in the handsome stranger's direction and almost immediately regretted it when the man returned his gaze with a dashing smile. "Thank you"

Will was having a good day so far. A minimum of difficult costumers and Adam hasn't mentioned moving out yet. For two weeks, they have been having the same argument over and over. When are you going to move out? What about your position as a professor? Don't they need you back to teach again for next semester? So what he didn't have any plans for the next semester yet. He just wanted to make sure Adam was going to be okay on his own. Although Nigel was proving to be quite the partner for his dear twin, there was still something off about that guy and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. His inquisitive nature wouldn't allow him to let it go.

A shadow appeared in his peripheral vision. The man from earlier was back. Will picked up the book handed to him and almost dropped it in surprise. Fucking hell, it was his book, the "Emotional Sociopath: The Study of Serial Killers and the Bonds They Form" by William Graham. He didn't think even know Adam was selling it.

"Did you find all that you were looking for today, sir?"

"Yes, I did indeed. Thank you for your assistance earlier"

"That's an interesting book you've got there. Not many pick this one off the shelf. I assume the owner only carries it because he has, personal attachment to the author"

"Oh, really. I'm not surprised it's for sentimental reasons. The book leaves much to be desired. I'm only reading it because my profession dictates I keep up to date as much as I can"

"Excuse me?" Will squared his jaw "And what profession do you work in?"

"I'm a psychiatrist and a-"

"Of course, you're a freaking psychiatrist. I was worried for a second that you would be capable of providing actual criticisms instead of mere complaints. I apologize that the behavioral habits behind the pathology of severely mentally ill serial killers is a bit too difficult for you to grasp. They're a bit more complicated than your middle age housewife patients going through menopause" Will ran the book through the scanner before bagging it up.

"That'll be $42.37" The man narrowed his eyes at Will.

"For your information, I also consult on a variety of FBI criminal profiles. Which you would have heard if you had not so rudely interrupted me mid-sentence" His smile from earlier was all but wiped clean. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, "May I acquire your business card?" Will almost sneered.

"Yeah, it's on the back of that book" Will couldn't help the smug grin as the man turned the book over and saw his picture on the back of it. And to think, Will fought so hard to dissuade his editor from putting his portrait on the back of it.

They met eyes again, "That still does not excuse your rudeness"

"And like you weren't rude by insulting my book? You haven't even read it"

"I suppose..I may have been...acting under certain assumptions from fellow academics...but your defensiveness belies your insecurities. Although, I will admit to the necessity of an apology"

"Oh, well, I accept then"

"I meant from you. This is no way to run a service"

"...excuse me? Do you expect me to give you lip service with a stupid smile on my face? This may be a service but I'm not your fucking servant. If you don't like how I manage my station you can just leave!"

"WILL!" His head spun around to see Adam standing by the counter glaring at him. "That is no way to talk to a customer! I knew I should have listened to Nigel. He said you were driving customers away!" Adam apologized to the man and offered him the book free of charge before running back to his office.

Will sighed, "Adam! Oh, come on. Don't be like that, it's not my fault!"

Will heard a cough behind him before hearing the door close. An offensive hundred dollar bill laid on the counter next to the book. "OH COME ON!"



"Hello, Nigel" Hannibal greeted his twin with a outreached hand. Nigel grunted and turned to unlock the door.

"What did you do this time?"
Hannibal glared and returned his hand back to his side. "I could ask you the same thing. You're not usually this non-receptive"

"Yeah?" He threw the door open, flinching as it slammed against the wall. They walked inside "That's because I know what you're doing. I don't need to deal with your shit right now", handing over the apartment keys, he went back to the open door. "I'll be your fucking alibi for whatever you are doing but I'm not hanging out with you for two weeks. See you later, man".

"Where are you going?"


"Oh then why don't I come with?"

"Fuck no, what did I just say?"

"I'm not going to sit in this filthy apartment for two weeks by myself"

Filthy?! "I wasn't the one that invited myself over, now did I?"

Hannibal harrumphed "I called ahead"

"30 minutes ahead"

"I could just follow you"

"Or I could bust your knee with a bullet and then you'll really have something to do" He palmed the outline of his gun underneath his clothing. He regretted having to keep himself armed around his brother, but the last time they got into an argument and he wasn't...well, he didn't want to revisit that.

"...if only I had consumed you in the womb when I had the chance"
Nigel flipped him off . "Do that again, Nigel, and I'm going to break that finger"

"Go to hell, Hannibal!" Nigel said and then slammed the door.


Alone again, Hannibal surveyed his surroundings. He would have many opportunities to spy on his younger twin but for now he had plans for a certain cashier.



Nigel opened the door and met a dreary atmosphere. "Hey, Nigel" Will turned to him behind the counter

"What the hell happened here? You'd think you'd find more cheer in a graveyard"

"Just an asshole customer"

"Mmhmm, really? An asshole customer or asshole cashier?"

Rolling his eyes, Will turned back to his computer. "An asshole customer, alright? There's a sub for you from Allie Joe's in the fridge for you. Adam made me get it for you at lunch" 

Nigel laughed and leaned across the counter to ruffle his hair, "I also find that hard to believe. I think you got it for me out of the kindness of your heart. I know there's a nice person inside you. You just have to let it be free" Will glared at him. "I hope you choke on that sub"

"Thanks for lunch, Will" Leaving behind a fuming Graham is never a good idea, but he would take his chances for a free lunch. He was starving.

"Hey, Baby Blue. I heard there was an asshole customer earlier today, do you want me to take care of it or..oh, Adam what's wrong darling?" Adam lifted his head from his desk. His eyes were rimmed red. He put his head back on his desk. "There wasn't an asshole customer today"

" it was Will?" He could hear Adam whine into his arms. "I don't want to fire my brother"

"Do- do you even pay your brother?" Nigel sat himself down, unveiling his sandwich.

"He gets paid in room and board"

"Darling", Nigel put down his sub and scooted his chair to swing his arm across Adam's shoulders and lifted his darling's head, "I'm not going to tell you to fire your brother, but you either need to talk to him or your going to end up in a fist fight. And then I'll end up in a fist fight with him cause, no offense, he has more upper body strength than you and would probably kick your ass and I can't let that fly"

"Niiiiigeeeel, I don't want you to fight my brother!" Adam's face broke out into a smile

"I don't want to either baby blue but I won't have a choice in this"

Adam grunted before nuzzling into Nigel's neck. "But I don't like confrontation. I can't do it"

"And I can't always talk for you. He's family, Adam, he'll understand. If you can't trust can only trust me" He moved back and continued eating his sub.