Humming to himself, Clark dialed Lex’s private number and, tucking the phone between his shoulder and ear, pickled up an apple, tossing it from hand to hand while he waited for the older man to pick up at his end. At Lex’s exasperated ‘What?’ he chuckled, imagining the harried look on his face as he was dragged away from whatever project held his attention at the time.
"Hey, sorry to bug you, but I needed to ask you a question about this thing you’re having this weekend. Is it okay if I bring a date?"
Lex bit back a groan. "Seeing Lana again? Or is it Chloe this time?" He was so tired of watching Clark go back and forth between those two, but it was a best friend’s job to be supportive, even when he thought Clark was being an idiot. "Sure, bring whichever one along."
"Well... it’s not either of them if you want to know the truth. That’s not a problem is it? I mean, for the seating arrangements or whatever?"
"No, not at all." Lex was proud that his voice gave no indication that he was speaking through gritted teeth. "So who’s the lucky lady? You didn’t mention that you were seeing someone new."
"Name’s Terry, just moved here from Florida," Clark answered, smiling to himself.
Great, now he’s dating Malibu Barbie. The glare Lex gave his computer should have left the machine a heap of molten scrap. "Trying the blonde beach bunny type now, are you? Maybe she can try out for the Sharks’ cheerleader squad." Lex wondered if he was doing permanent damage to his teeth by gritting them so much.
Clark was now snickering audibly. "Terry’s more into football than gymnastics."
"Oh god, not another rabid feminist?" Lex groaned. "That one you dated once last fall almost hit me for opening a door for her. You’re going to have to save my life again if this one’s like that."
"Terry might hit you if you called him that."
"Him?" He had to take a mouthful of his water before he could continue. "Is there something you haven’t told me, Clark?"
"Hmm? Oh, you mean that Terry’s a guy? Sorry. It’s not a problem, is it?"
"Of course not. But so far as I know you’ve always been the poster boy for heterosexuality. What changed?" And why didn’t I know about it?
"There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Lex," Clark said mysteriously, giving a nervous laugh. "So is it okay? I won’t bring him if it makes you uncomfortable."
"Uncomfortable?" Lex laughed. "Clark, have you ever actually read any of the stories about me? Bring whomever you like." And I’ll try to restrain myself from ripping his heart out.
"Okay." Clark sounded relieved. "And just to let you know, I don’t read stories about you because they’re all a bunch of B.S. I prefer getting my facts firsthand."
"Oh. I just thought you were uncomfortable discussing it." Lex suddenly had to wonder if he’d been making assumptions based on an error for the last couple of years. If so, and if he’d missed his chance because of it, he was going to kill someone. Preferably this Terry person. "I’m bi. I thought you knew."
"Not a clue, but it’s cool - I mean that we both are." Clark paused. "Think you could give me some tips, like how you did when I was chasing Lana?"
Lex wondered if Clark heard that snarl. "Sorry, Clark, it’s been so long I can hardly remember. I’m sure you don’t have any trouble attracting anyone on your own." This was going to be a two bottle of whisky night. Maybe three. He hadn’t tried alcohol poisoning and having his stomach pumped since his teens, and tonight might be a good time to see if he remembered the experience properly.
Clark sighed. "Okay, if you say so. Sure you don’t feel like coming over so we can talk about it? Or I can come over there..."
About to say no, Lex realized that if Clark was with him, he couldn’t be with Terry, and he changed his mind almost in mid-word. "Sure. I wasn’t getting much done anyway." He ruthlessly shut down his computer, ignoring the reports he’d intended to go over that night. "I could use the break. Want me to order anything?"
"Pizza if you’re hungry?" Clark offered. "Mom made some chocolate-chocolate chip cookies that I can bring for dessert."
"Sounds good. I’ll order the pizza and it should get here about the same time you do. Then you can tell me all about Terry." Lex tried not to sneer the name, but he wasn’t entirely sure he was successful.
"Great! I’ll be there in half an hour or so." After saying goodbye, Clark hung up the phone and grinned. "Stage one complete, now on to stage two..."
Lex glared at the phone for long moments, realizing that he hadn’t got the new boyfriend’s last name so he couldn’t even run a check on him yet. He was sure the beach bum had to be up to no good, but he’d get the details from Clark as soon as he got there. Now to order enough food to keep Clark happy for a while.
"Hey, Lex," Clark called, walking into the game room and setting the foil-wrapped plate of cookies on the table. "Did the pizza get here yet?"
"Just," Lex replied, coming in the opposite door with two bottles of beer. "The delivery man just called up from the gate, and I knew that you couldn’t be far behind. You’re like a bloodhound when it comes to pizza."
Clark chuckled as he accepted the beer and dropped down onto the floor to lean back against the sofa. "Hey, what can I say, I know what I like."
"Which brings us to Terry. Give." Lex sank down beside Clark, knowing that one of the servants would bring the pizza in.
"What do you want to know? What he looks like? How we met?" At Lex’s nod, Clark grinned. "We met at Fordman’s, and he’s shorter than me with blue eyes."
"You found a short Whitney clone?"
Clark bit back a bark of laughter. "Whitney wasn’t the only person in Smallville with blue eyes, Lex."
"He was one of the few blue-eyed, blond football players. I didn’t really think that was your type."
"Did I say he was blond or a football player? God, Lex, you’re really jumping to conclusions here."
"You said he was from Florida and liked football." Lex wondered how he’d ended up on the defensive. He didn’t like it.
"Not everyone from Florida has blond hair, Lex," Clark laughed, "and liking football doesn’t mean you play it; look at me."
"Fine, fine, so he’s not a Whitney clone. What is he? This is the first I’ve heard of this paragon, so some details please." Lex glanced up as the pizza was brought in, and he leaned forward to get a slice, realizing that he was hungry.
"Hang on." Clark grabbed his own slice, devouring half of it before swiping at his mouth with a napkin and sighing in pleasure. "Let’s see... he’s smart, wants to be a scientist, and he’s cute. And if you want to know the truth, I haven’t even kissed him yet, so I’m a little nervous in that regard."
"Well, it’s not really any different than kissing a girl, and you’ve done that before," Lex replied before taking a neat bite of his pizza. "Mouths are the same. It’s when you get below the waist that things change," he chuckled. He really wanted to have this science-geek beach bum killed or at least shipped off to some obscure corner of the world.
"Wow, Lex, really? I never would have guessed," Clark replied dryly. "So what’s it like?"
"Sarcasm will not get you the benefit of my wisdom, grasshopper," Lex intoned, then smiled at Clark’s expression. "Well, so far as I know you don’t have anything to compare it to," he started. "But sex with another man is usually a little less civilized. And yes, I know I’m speaking in generalities but since I don’t know when the person in question is the before or after from a muscle-building ad, it’s hard to be more specific."
Clark shrugged and finished his slice of pizza before reaching for another one. "He’s not the Terminator, but he’s not a wimp either if that helps. By less civilized do you mean hotter or rawer?"
"Rawer definitely. Which isn’t to say that women don’t like down and dirty fucking sometimes, but they’re more likely to want to ‘make love’," Lex replied, shrugging. "Guys think with their dicks, especially in their teens. Put two guys together, and you’re not going to get a ballad. But you will have a lot of fun. You just have to figure out if you like to top or bottom or both, and the only way you can is by doing."
"I just can’t picture it, you know. What it would be like." Clark sighed and downed the rest of his beer. "You know, where things go or how to give head or anything."
Lex’s jaw dropped. "Clark, I don’t think there’s been a teenaged male of any species with a dick in the entire history of the universe that couldn’t figure out a blowjob."
"The mechanics, yeah, but what’s the difference between a crappy one and a good one?" Clark pressed.
"Jesus, Clark!" Lex took a gulp of his beer. "It’s not exactly something you can learn by talking about it. Keep your lips over your teeth so you don’t hurt him, and just do what would feel good to you."
"But I’ve never had it done to me," Clark protested. "How will I know?"
"God, watch a porn movie, check the internet, I don’t know! What do you want me to do, demonstrate?"
Clark bit his lower lip to keep from grinning. "Would you?" he asked hopefully.
Lex sputtered, actually shocked speechless. He could only stare wide-eyed at Clark, not knowing what to do or say.
"Never mind, forget I asked that," Clark sighed, looking back down at his pizza before setting it aside. "Kent foot in mouth disease strikes again."
Suddenly realizing that he’d been offered exactly what he wanted and was about to lose it again, Lex hastily said, "Are you sure? I mean, don’t you want to share that with Terry?" The sneer was very clear that time.
"About Terry..." Clark ducked his head and licked his lips.
"What about Terry?" Lex asked suspiciously, recognizing that guilty expression.
Clark looked up again, meeting Lex’s gaze. "Did you mean you would demonstrate?"
Lex nearly growled as Clark ignored his question. "Why not?" he replied, trying to sound indifferent when he was so hard it hurt. "You might as well learn from the best."
"Even if Terry didn’t exist?"
"Even if—" Lex stopped and stared hard at Clark, finally smiling slowly. "Especially then."
Clark smiled as well and breathed a sigh of relief. "I had to do something to wake you up, Lex."
"So all of this was your way of seducing me?" Lex started to laugh. "You always did have a unique way of doing things." He moved closer until there was barely a breath of space between them, the pizza forgotten as they stared at each other.
"I wasn’t sure if you were interested. I thought you might be, but..." Clark shrugged. "You have no idea how relieved I was when you got jealous."
"So much for me not being obvious." Lex smiled wryly. "I’ve wanted you for years, Clark, a lot longer than is probably healthy. But I’d gotten so used to not letting myself think about it or even acknowledge it, that I’d never have said anything to you." He turned to face Clark directly. "I’d forgotten that you’re not a kid anymore."
"Do you want proof?" Clark asked, leaning in over the pizza box to kiss Lex. It was clumsy until they got the angle right, but then he proved he had picked up some technique between Chloe and Lana.
When Clark finally pulled back, Lex remained leaning forward for a moment, blinking dazedly before he finally remembered to sit back. "Well. You know, I’m not sure that I’m convinced yet. Care to give me some more proof?"
Clark licked his lips and swallowed hard. "If I jumped you, would that be proof enough?" he asked, feeling his face heat as he blushed.
"I think it would go a long way toward it, yes." Lex was finally smiling widely as his mind caught up with his body and realized that this was really happening.
Clark shoved the pizza box out of the way, vaguely noticing that he knocked their beer bottles over as well but not really caring. Once he had a clear shot at Lex, he tackled the older man to the floor, kissing him hungrily.
Lex just moaned into the kiss and let himself be pounced, arms and legs wrapping around Clark and holding him close as he arched up and rubbed against him. This was what he’d been dreaming of for years, and he wasn’t going to complain about how he got it.
After long, enjoyable moments of exploring Lex’s mouth, Clark pulled back to look down at him, smiling slightly. "So, what would you have done if there had been a Terry?"
Lex’s expression darkened. "I’m glad I won’t have to find out." He watched Clark carefully. "Every man needs a conscience, and I think you’re going to have to be mine."
"Just call me Jiminy," Clark smiled.
"You’re not going to carry a top hat and cane and burst into song, are you?"
"God, no!" Clark laughed, swatting Lex on the shoulder and rolling off him. "Though that would make you ‘the little wooden boy’."
Lex snorted as he sat up. "You might get splinters."
"Gross!" Clark batted at Lex’s arm and collapsed back against the sofa, laughing. "So, does this mean you’ll be my date tomorrow?"
"Are you sure you’re ready for that? My private life doesn’t stay private, as you know. Everyone will know we’re dating, including your parents," Lex warned.
"Yeah, well, if they don’t like it, too bad," Clark muttered, wincing as he anticipated his father’s reaction to this.
Lex stared at him searchingly, then nodded. "All right then. I’d be delighted to be your date tomorrow night. At least we’ll be on our own ground for our first public appearance, and I know there won’t be any reporters snapping pictures."
"Which means I won’t have to be your conscience about strangling them."
Lex just smiled faintly, not denying it. "I have a feeling our lives are about to get very interesting, even by Smallville standards."