For three years, Jihoon's one and only sport had been track, and he liked it. He had resisted it at first, but his father had gotten very serious for some reason and insisted that his son join a team. He'd have preferred basketball, but…well, Jihoon didn't really have the physical attributes for it. Track had placated him a bit – anyway, his son was doing something physical and competitive.
Jihoon's father may have been worrying about his son's sexuality even before the young blond himself.
It had taken Jihoon a while – he was pretty naïve and clueless about these things – but eventually it had been track itself that had forced the awareness onto him. It was all because of the damned locker room.
It had started simple – big eyes getting glued to wet, dripping backs in the showers. Jihoon had shrugged that off, thinking about health class and vaguely chalking it up to adolescent hormones and the sight of wet skin.
His shyness around the other naked boys was easy enough to explain away too – he didn't have siblings that he'd grown up with, so naturally anyone would be embarrassed seeing naked people for the first time. He didn't allow himself to think about the fact that the embarrassment didn't wear off after a while, when it probably should have.
His first wet dreams had been vague, and Jihoon remembered little from them aside from a tantalizing pressure and heat in his groin.
And then…Daniel happened.
Jihoon had always looked up to his teammate and hyung, especially now that Daniel was captain of the track team. But Jihoon, being a year younger, had not had a lot of interaction with the other boy. That had changed this year.
Maybe it was because Jihoon was on a relay team with the tall brown-haired boy…maybe it was because Daniel was a captain now and was trying to encourage the other runners more. Jihoon didn't know why, but he'd had a few conversations with the team captain already this year, and somewhere between Daniel's easy, friendly smile and beautiful laugh and the vague wet dreams at night and the god damned locker room…he'd developed a crush.
The realization had been mortifying, and had happened in the worst possible way. Stark naked in the showers after practice, Jihoon had been suddenly forced to understand something about himself. And that something was apparently that he was different from the other boys in that he looked at the older boy washing himself and got a sudden erection…while none of the others seemed to have that problem.
Jihoon grabbed his towel and bolted.
The wet dreams became suddenly clear that night. Wide shoulders, big hands, a sweat-covered chest, a low voice, and stroking, squeezing, touching that made him tense and gasp and come, come, come…and then wake up to fried brains for breakfast. Fried brains which were useless for figuring out what the hell he was going to do, but which were suddenly and belatedly very good at recognizing all the signs and turning out the answer Jihoon had never considered before.
After that, his once-fun track practice became a living hell. Even out on the field there were sweating, naked chests and panting, gasping young men everywhere, and Daniel hyung. Daniel in the form of a tall spot of brown forever on the edge of his peripheral vision. Daniel laughing and calling to people and slapping Jihoon on the back. And that was just out in the field.
The locker room was like a war zone, and Jihoon was a covert ops agent trying to get in, get changed and showered, and get out again without seeing too many naked teammates and especially without being in the showers while Daniel was. Unfortunately, he was being forced to choose between succeeding in his mission and looking normal…because he could not pull such a feat off without a fair amount of slinking around and staring at the ground.
Soon there was only one thing to do – quit track. He couldn't handle the locker room. His father would surely have a fit, but Jihoon would just have to deal with that later. Right now, he had to deal with the imminent threat of exposure as a homosexual to the whole school, and Jihoon wasn't ready to be – oh god – out.
And so, after practice, as the team was jogging back to the dreaded locker room, Jihoon casually crept up near Daniel. When the brown-haired boy finished his brief exchange with another runner, Jihoon cleared his throat and spoke up.
"Ah, Daniel hyung?" They were about to go inside, and as the captain looked at him questioningly, Jihoon held back. Daniel waved to some teammates.
”Yeah, Jihoon? What's up?" Seeing that Jihoon still didn't follow, he strolled over to the little blond as the rest of the team disappeared.
"Can…can I talk to you?"
"Of course, what about?"
"Uh…well…" Jihoon fidgeted with his shirt hem. "It's about…the team."
Daniel smiled reassuringly. "Look, if it's the relay, you're doing fine! You've improved a lot and…" Daniel continued to talk track stuff as he subtly turned and steered Jihoon with him into the building. Jihoon wanted to interrupt, but the taller boy never gave him much of a chance, taking all his attempts at correcting Daniel's mistake as disagreements.
"…And at the rate you're going, you'll be absolute tops by the meet, seriously." Daniel led them into the locker room – fortunately almost free of boys by now, as they were in the showers – and turned to smile reassuringly. "Trust me, I know what I'm saying. You've got talent, Jihooni."
Jihoon cracked an uncertain grin. "Uh… thanks…but um, hyung, that wasn't what I wanted to say…"
Eyebrows raised gently, the smile still hovering. "No? Well go on, I'll listen. Sorry for rambling and – hey come on, let's get changed, we're behind – and like, not listening to you and all." Daniel laughed and walked over to his locker.
Jihoon swallowed hard and trailed behind him, his heart pounding from Daniel's laugh.
As he reached the other boy again, he was hit in the face with a sweaty t-shirt. Stripped fresh from Daniel's likewise-sweaty torso. The older boy was laughing.
"Hey come on, don't zone out there, tell me what's on your mind."
Jihoon felt a shiver race over his skin. Daniel scent. Daniel's scent. Yeah, it was kinda gross and sweaty but it was also kinda like Daniel's deodorant and…and just Daniel. His stomach tightened and he looked down nervously as the gorgeous taller guy pulled his shorts down. Daniel's scent and Daniel's body and oh god please not now! Please not in front of him right now! Fucking calm down…stay calm…
"Hey, are you getting changed or what?"
Jihoon swallowed and nodded, slowly moving to drag his own shirt off. "Well…I…I wanted to tell you…I'm quitting track."
"What?" Daniel looked full at him, startled. Not angry or anything just…wide-eyed and confused and…in his boxers. And those were about to disappear too…
Jihoon very firmly looked away. "Y-yeah…I'm really sorry about the relay and everything…"
"Wait wait wait," Daniel interrupted, entering Jihoon's vision again, fortunately wrapped in a towel. "I mean, why? Is there some problem…?" At that moment, the first swarms of boys emerged from the showers, bringing their noise and steam and bare skin with them. Jihoon glanced up involuntarily, then reddened and ducked again. Daniel, glancing around, got the idea that there was a problem with someone in the room. In a steady, reassuring voice, he changed his direction.
"Come on, get your towel, we're behind the others and I need a shower. You can tell me about it there."
Through the overwhelming sense of doom, Jihoon vaguely wondered if he could get a shower angled away from Daniel somehow.
When he reached the showers – only a few guys were left – Daniel was waving him over to a shower head right next to his on the wall. Jihoon's stomach didn't even get a chance to make it all the way into his shoes before the other boy had his towel off and the water on.
At Daniel's insistence…he could only follow along. His hand shook as he hung his towel up, and he felt like he was trying to shrink into himself and stare a hole through the blue tiled floor at the same time. Being naked and next to a naked Daniel…was hell on earth.
The voice that spoke was low and made Jihoon shudder. "So come on, what's all this about quitting? Is it someone on the team?" Daniel glanced back at the few guys who were finishing up. "Hyung can help you take care of it if it is…"
Jihoon could only shake his head, eyes shut. The irregular pattern of splashing as Daniel washed himself steadied as the older boy stopped his motions to tilt his head questioningly at Jihoon, who was just standing under a stream of water.
"Hey Jihooni…hey." Daniel frowned at the still-closed eyes, and Jihoon's muscles twitched with the need to just flee. "Hey, look at me will you? Or like, open your eyes…" Daniel poked his shoulder and Jihoon's eyes popped open. "There we go. Now come on…talk to hyung." And Daniel slowly started washing himself off again, keeping one eye on Jihoon.
He realized the impulse was happening too late to stop it – his eyes had already glanced over to Daniel. Once there…Jihoon was helpless.
Tall, muscled and lean, naked and wet and close. Close. Hypnotized big eyes just stared. Head to toe, he was amazing. Mind-blowingly hot.
And with simple, efficient motions that Jihoon himself had probably done a million times, Daniel chose that moment to take hold of his nether regions and swish some cleaning soap and water over the one spot Jihoon really didn't need to look at.
A second later, small eyes glanced back over at the unmoving little blond again…and shot suddenly wide and down.
"Uh…" Jihoon watched Daniel's Adam's apple bob once. "Um, Jihoon?"
He was hard.
A frantic snatch for his towel was way, way too late. Daniel had gotten a clear view of Jihoon's raging erection, and was still staring at him in shock. He was just turning to flee…but the last three guys were on the way out, and Jihoon froze, seeing them near the door. They were in the way, they would see…and as he hesitated, a big hand grabbed his arm.
"Hey wait!" Then Daniel seemed to think again. "I mean…uh, you probably wanna take care of that so I'll beat it, gimme two seconds…"
Humiliation now chose to give Jihoon his voice back. "This is why. Why I'm quitting. Because. Because-"
Daniel had stopped and was watching Jihoon's face. "What's why you're quitting? I mean…why are you quitting? We need you and…"
"Because I'm gay!" Jihoon's voice choked out in a whisper that Daniel heard just fine. "Because…because I can't do this anymore…and please don't tell anyone, hyung, please…" Jihoon’s eyes were wide and begging up at Daniel suddenly.
Daniel’s face was alarmed, but quickly changing to concern and sympathy in the face of the red-faced, begging, almost-crying dongsaeng.
"Hey, look…it's okay, I'm not telling anyone. And come on, you…you don't have to quit because of that…" Daniel cleared his throat and sounded more jovial. "We can take care of something like that, no problem! I mean, if showers and shit are a problem, I can make it so you can get in here after everyone else is done…like right now, see, no one noticed us being late, so we can work it like this…"
"That won't help." Jihoon cut him off.
"Sure it will, come on, why not?" Daniel lightly slapped his shoulder. The tears made another jump for freedom but didn't quite make it.
Daniel grinned. "I'm okay, don't worry, hyung can protect you…"
"No, hyung, it’s because I like you!"
Daniel's face froze in an uncertain smile. "Uh…what?"
"I like you…I have a crush on you…I'm l-like this because it’s you..." A single tear slipped free, choking off Jihoon's voice as it went.
"Huh." Daniel leaned back against the blue tiled wall.
For several minutes, Jihoon just stood there, battling for control, trying to keep the floodgates closed…because if he let go for even a second, even one sob, he was going to be bawling like a three-year-old. And he could not do that. Daniel just leaned back and stared at him, blinking. The showers streamed down in an echoing, steady patter, and steam rose. Except for that, there was silence.
Daniel was the first to break the silence, clearing his throat. "So…you like me." Jihoon only nodded, tense. "You got a…" Daniel stopped in mid-thought, struck by a new realization. An instant later, his hand shot out for his towel, holding it in front of himself as he started again. "You got…hard…looking at me." Jihoon didn't even nod this time. There was another pause, before Daniel spoke again, musing to himself, with a slight smile audible in his voice. "I must be hotter than I thought…"
Jihoon’s eyes peeled-open and stared at him. To his amazement, Daniel let out a sudden laugh, and the next moment, his wet hair was being tousled by a big hand.
"Kidding, I'm kidding, geez! I'm not a conceited jerk, really!" Jihoon wasn't sure whether to laugh or…or what. He half-grinned weakly, feeling his face heat up even more. But most of all his stomach was fluttering, nervous and hopeful, because in spite of what he'd just said, Daniel had just touched him.
"S-So…you don't mind? You aren't disgusted by me?" Jihoon's voice had an embarrassing squeaky quality to it.
Daniel shrugged, his laugh a little awkward. "Well, I never really thought about, uh, liking guys or anything, so maybe I should be more shocked…I dunno. But uh, no, I guess it doesn't really bother me so much." He scratched nervously at the side of his neck and grinned a little helplessly at Jihoon.
"O-Oh." The blond wasn't sure what else to say now. And Daniel was still standing there, holding the towel in front of himself, but still so, so attractive…
"Well, fuck, this is pretty awkward, huh?" Daniel half-laughed again nervously. "Do you, uh, want me to go so you can…" He vaguely gestured toward where Jihoon was clutching his own towel at his waist. "Or…" There was a strange, unreadable intensity suddenly flickering in his eyes. Like curiosity. Like…interest?
"Since you like me…do you wanna look at me?"
"What?" It was only a breathless gasp. Jihoon had lost his voice at that.
"You know…" Daniel's voice was lower all of a sudden, kind of soft and cautious. "Like this…" And slowly, he removed the towel he held and stretched out an arm to hang it back up.
Eyes wide, Jihoon's hands flew to his mouth to stifle a gasp as he stared at Daniel's body…and unwittingly dropped the towel he'd been holding.
Daniel’s eyebrows shot upward as Jihoon's hands flew down again, covering himself and flushing so hard he thought his hair might spontaneously combust. Daniel gave a low, impressed whistle.
"Wow, you're really…uh, I mean, you must like me a lot." He didn't sound arrogant about it either, just…surprised. Jihoon could only nod. "So…are you gonna do it?"
"I…" the smaller boy was struggling helplessly, confusion filling his eyes. Daniel, in spite of his curiosity, could see how uncomfortable Jihoon was.
"How about this?" He suddenly offered. "I'm just gonna…finish showering, ok? And I won't look at you. Ok?" Then, without waiting for Jihoon to agree, he turned back to the shower head and resumed washing.
Blinking uncertainly at this turn of events, Jihoon didn't say anything. He just…watched. He really couldn't help it. Daniel was right in front of him, exposed and wet and beautiful, and Jihoon's heart was racing.
The older boy seemed to have decided to wash his hair now, which he didn't always do, and Jihoon could only stare, fascinated, as those hands scrubbed and combed through, stretching up and leaving his entire body open to view.
His erection throbbed, and the hands covering himself suddenly became hands…touching himself. The contact was now a slight pressure, and without thinking, Jihoon automatically pressed more pressure against his aching need.
Before he knew it, he was stroking himself slowly, eyes glued to big hands that slid down a firm body.
And then a slight whimper escaped his lips as Daniel’s hands moved dangerously low, and small eyes glanced sideways in spite of the his promise.
"Woah," Daniel breathed, suddenly forgetting entirely that he wasn't supposed to look at Jihoon and stepping a little closer. Jihoon looked up at him, startled, but Daniel didn't stop. He swallowed heavily. "Hey…can I touch you?" His hand was already extending toward Jihoon, and before the blond could stammer out a "why" or "no," he felt a light touch of brushing fingertips over his hot length.
"Hyung…" Jihoon more or less melted.
"Damn," Daniel muttered under his breath, staring at Jihoon's face as he slowly moved his hand. "I've never touched another…uh, guy…before…" He trailed off as a moan slipped from the smaller blond in response to Daniel's touches. Daniel flushed and looked a bit startled. "Hey…hey what the hell? Are you doing that on purpose?"
Jihoon blinked. "Huh?" was the gasped response.
"That look…" Daniel insisted. "That face you're making…are you playing it up or something? It's way too sexy."
"N-No," Jihoon gasped, "I'm not…ahn…"
Daniel didn't seem to be listening. "Shit…I don't think guys are allowed to be this hot, Jihooni…" Nevertheless, the hand on Jihoon's arousal applied more pressure as Daniel spoke.
Jihoon couldn't think anymore. He could barely breathe. Daniel was touching him, stroking him, looking at him…and then all of a sudden there was an arm winding around him, pulling him closer, and a low voice muttering, "Fuck it."
And then the hand left him, only to suddenly touch under Jihoon chin, lifting his red face and lust-fogged eyes to Daniel's intense gaze.
Daniel's lips were warm and wet and soft and meshed with his own so almost-perfectly, but just a little bit awkwardly, uncertain. And when Daniel moved them, neither he nor Jihoon seemed to be sure what they were doing…but both seemed to agree on getting their mouths open and making the sloppy, clumsy kiss a lot deeper, skill be damned.
"Sorry about that…" Daniel panted when they parted, but he didn't seem too worried, because he didn't let go of Jihoon. "I mean…sorry for doing that without…asking or anything. S-Sorry for this, too…" And Jihoon blinked at him, uncomprehending as Daniel reddened and looked down, embarrassed.
His eyes followed, only to widen at the sight. Daniel was hard too. Jihoon had been aroused enough at the sight of Daniel's body under ordinary circumstances…and now he was suddenly seeing Daniel very, very aroused. The blond started shaking so hard he was afraid he might fall.
In response, Daniel's arm tightened around his frame, drawing Jihoon closer and pressing their erections together. At that, Jihoon whimpered aloud, hands clutching at strong arms for support. Heavy breathing in his ear almost distracted him from the hand wandering down his body again.
"Hey," Daniel murmured, "Let's start over, huh? Let's…do it together." He paused, and when Jihoon didn't answer, prodded again, not continuing until he had permission this time. "Please?"
"Ok…" The answer was soft and weak and nervous, but Jihoon could hardly give any other reply to such an offer. He wanted it…he wanted Daniel, and even though he was mortified and scared shitless, instinct and lust were stronger, drawing him, forcing him closer.
Daniel touched him, and Jihoon tensed. "Here…" he mumbled, guiding his hand, "Touch me too…" And then Jihoon felt hot, firm flesh under his fingertips.
Daniel led, setting the pace, stroking Jihoon slowly at first. Pleasure coursed through his body, and Jihoon couldn't help mimicking the taller boy's actions, squeezing gently and stroking the hot length he held. Then Daniel was moving faster, and Jihoon was compelled to as well, unable to think about anything else but the pleasure, the touch, and Daniel, Daniel, Daniel…not able to spare the slightest thought for quieting his voice.
It didn't take very long. Neither boy was very experienced, and Jihoon in particular had been at the end of his frail endurance for days. He came first, into Daniel's hand, crying out and not seeing how Daniel’s eyes bugged wide as he watched him, coming himself a few moments later. And even with the humming of orgasm running through him, Jihoon felt the spasms and the hot liquid in his hands, and that, even more than his own climax, was probably what made him black out for a second.
When he opened his eyes, Daniel was awkwardly trying to settle them both on a bench in the locker room. The room was empty and that was good, because they were both still naked. Daniel had had enough trouble catching Jihoon and holding the slick, wet body – grabbing a towel had been too much to handle.
Awake again, Jihoon tried to move, mumbling that he was okay. Daniel helped him sit up, and soon they were side-by-side on the wooden bench…silent and not looking at each other.
In a shell-shocked tone, Daniel finally said something to break the horrible silence.
"I got off with a dude." He didn't even sound happy or disgusted…just…amazed.
Jihoon couldn't help it. The weakness in his body, the strain on his mind – whatever it was, it snapped him. He started laughing softly.
Slowly, the older boy turned to look at him. Then, a little quicker, a grin broke over his handsome face. Before they knew it, they were chuckling together, wiping tears from eyes and laughing and laughing, and Daniel was wobbling to the towel cart and grabbing spares for them both.
They managed to calm down after wrapping the towels around themselves, and Daniel spoke first again. "Well shit, I guess if that doesn't make me gay too, it's gotta mean something. At the very least, I guess I'm not as straight as I thought."
Jihoon hiccuped a few times from laughing, but breathed deeply to calm himself. When he was relaxed again, he spoke more evenly than he had all day. "Can I…say it again, hyung?"
"Only if 'it' doesn't refer to that 'I'm quitting track' bullshit."
Jihoon smiled, shaking his head, but then hesitated. "Well," he began. "See…the thing is, I'm gay, and I…I don't want to tell anyone yet, so it's hard. But…but I think I can deal with it now…that is, if…"
Daniel hummed questioningly, smiling at him. Jihoon took another deep breath.
"I…like you, Daniel hyung. I like you a lot. I'd like to…to date you."
Grinning and throwing his hands up, Daniel gave in. "Why not?" He laughed. "I'll be your secret boyfriend…but you have to stay in track. Deal?"
Jihoon felt light-headed and insanely happy. This was entirely too good to be true.