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Two Left Feet (Aren't So Bad)

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A gunshot rang out through the once-abandoned warehouse, the body of one of Tony’s kidnappers dropping to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut. It provided perfect cover for the shadow holding a knife to all but melt into existence behind the other guard and slit his throat. Tony could only scowl as Bucky dropped down out of the rafters and Nat stepped daintily over the guard’s corpse.

“You hurt, doll?” Bucky drawled, his casual tone belying the way his sharp gaze raked over Tony’s body in search of injuries. “That was a heck of a trail of clues you left us.”

Natasha snorted, already setting to work uncuffing Tony from the computer they’d chained him to in an attempt to get him to do the hacking they wanted.

“Of course, we might have been here sooner if you’d bothered to share them with both of us instead of splitting them up between us,” she said succinctly.

Tony just pouted at her.

“I’m fine,” he comforted Bucky. “They were complete incompetents. I’m a bit insulted they even managed to kidnap me in the first place.”

Natasha just took his poor, abused wrist between her hands and massaged it gently to get the blood flowing again.

“That is no excuse for endangering yourself by playing games with the clues for how to find you.”

Which, of course, only led to Tony pouting more.

“I wasn’t playing games!” he cried, insulted. “I very specifically sent you clues separately to see which of you would get here first. How else was I supposed to decide between you two who to ask to the Avengers Christmas Gala?”

Bucky blinked at him.

“What?”

“Now, of course, you’re both going to have to be my dates and I’m not going to be the one explaining to Pepper why she now has to explain to the press that I’m polyamorous. I tried to stop this.”

The barest edges of Nat’s lips twitched upward into a smile before she leant up to press a kiss to Tony’s forehead.

“Well, then,” she mused, “I supposed there’s nothing to be done about it.”