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Tossing Your Cookies

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“What do you mean 'you threw up'?” Michael asked.

Jeremy's eyes widened, “What do you think I mean, Michael?! I THREW UP!"

Jeremy’s face was pale and his blue eyes were watery. It was the first thing Michael noticed when he bolted through his bedroom door ten minutes ago. Michael used his hand to make a ‘go on’ motion making Jeremy narrow his eyes and huff.

Michael sighed, “Okay, you threw up… on her?“

Jeremy let out a strangled noise and sunk down on to Michael’s bed. Michael sat down beside him and rubbed circle's on to his best friend's back as he waited for Jeremy to continue.

“I mean, yes? I kind of did? Like a lot” Jeremy groaned bringing his hands up to cover his face and mumbled, “At least it landed mostly on her shoes." Michael struggled not to laugh. Leave it to Jeremy Heere to go on his first date and literally puke on her.

“… and then you just left?” Michael prompted.

“Was I supposed to stick around after I tossed my cookies on her? I fucking told you that sushi was bad, dude!”

Michael pulled his hand from Jeremy’s back to his lap, “The sushi was perfectly fine. I’ll have you know that I haven’t upchucked on one date today.” That earned him a half-assed chuckle and a swat to the arm. Jeremy put his head on Michael’s shoulder allowing Michael to lay an arm around his shoulders.

“What am I gonna do, Mikey?”

“You’re going to call her and apologize, for one.” Michael said “This is Christine Canigula we are talking about, Jere. You’ve only been pining over her since like, what? 7th grade? She’ll understand! You just need to call her or at the very least buy her new shoes.” Jeremy sighed sinking further in to Michael’s side. Michael felt the familiar warmth of having his best friend so close to him and promptly squashed it by shoving Jeremy off playfully and handing him the phone he'd abandoned on the bed beside them.

“What the hell, dude?”

“Call her right now, Jeremiah Heere, or I’ll do it for you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I definitely would. Need I remind you of the incident of 2014? You know the one. If I’m remembering correctly, you ended up skipping school for an entire week?” Michael tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Or was that a different Jeremy Heere?” He saw Jeremy gulp and rush to unlock his phone. Michael smirked, “That’s what I thought.”

He walked over to his dresser across the room to pull out an old shirt and shorts since Jere would most likely be crashing there. He walked back over and chucked the clothes at his best friend’s face earning him mouthed a ‘fuck you' as the phone rang.

Hey Christine, um-“ Jeremy started.

Michael zoned out choosing to avoid those unwanted feeling-type things that listening to Jeremy talking to or about Christine gave him. Michael didn’t do wanting very well. You can want a slushee and drop by the Sev Elev to get it but you can’t want a relationship with your best friend and ask the dude at the counter to grab it from the back, you know? Michael had been scrolling lazily through a Tumblr when Jeremy finally started to wrap up his call.

I feel really bad about it. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Jeremy paused for a second and looked up to Michael with a hopeful look.

I’ll remember to not eat sushi before our next one.” Jeremy giggled in to the phone. “Yeah, okay. See you then! Goodnight, Christine.”

Jeremy ended the call and fell back on the bed with a contented sigh. Michael noticed the dreamy expression on his friend’s face and felt his stomach lurch. Nope. Not right now, feelings. It was almost 10pm and he did not have time to deal with his feelings and their bullshit.

“I’ll be back.” Michael got off the bed heading towards the bedroom door. Jeremy sat up and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. Michael gave a weak smile, nodding towards the door and holding up a finger. It was code for ‘hey, I'm going to take a piss, my dude’ that they developed when Jeremy went through a bashful phase when they were 9. He couldn’t vocalize his need to relieve himself and this the finger system came to be. Two fingers meant well, number two and three was ‘I just need a minute.’ It worked liked a well placed banana peel on Mario Kart and they haven't stopped. Jeremy gave a brief nod of understanding and flopped back on the bed.

When Michael got to the bathroom he put the toilet seat lid down and sat; the cold porcelain giving him goose bumps. He palmed his eyes trying to deal with the onslaught of unwanted emotion. This was getting to be too much. He needed to find a good how-to guide that’d help him get his shit together. The whole support Jeremy while silently suffering business was actually killing him. What kind of friend does that anyway? Harbor very un-platonic feelings for their best buddies? That’s all they’re supposed to be, friends. He's sure that all Jeremy wants them to be anyway but leave it to Michael to fuck that up with his stupid fucking feelings. What was it that the chick from Frozen said? Conceal, don't feel or whatever? Time to start taking some pointers from Disney because didn’t she like almost murder her own sister? Storing this shit away for a rainy day was going to blow up on him eventually. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had stayed in the bathroom wading in his pool of self-pity but Jeremy was softly snoring when he got back to the room. He’d changed in to the clothes Michael had tossed at him earlier and was sprawled out on the side of the bed closest to the wall. Michael cut the lights and snuck under the covers trying to not to wake him up. The dude did just got through an ordeal of vomiting on his crush and then calling to apologize. He deserved the rest.

He turned his head to look over at his friend of 12 years. He had to fight the urge to reach over and brush back the strand of Jeremy's hair that’d fallen in front of his closed eyes. Michael turned his head back and stared up at the ceiling instead. The rhythm of Jeremy's breaths were comforting and just as sleep was coming to take him, he whispered aloud what he'd never say to his best friend while he was conscious. “I love you, Jeremy.”