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We're Gonna Try Plan 'G' For 'Goddamn It How Oblivious Can You Be?'

Chapter Text

“Really, mate,” Claude grunts as he throws himself on the sofa, putting his head on his brother’s stomach, “You should give Alice a chance. You two are perfect for each other.”

Jamie shakes his head, not bothering to look away from the TV. “Leave it alone, Claude, I’m not- I mean, it just won’t work out.”

He and the rest of the gang are his living room, sipping on hot cocoa and lazing around on their day off. It’s one of those cold November days when the sky is as gloomy as their history teacher, Mr. Underwood, and the rain keeps pouring, so all of them are more than happy to just curl under their blankets and marathon the Harry Potter series. After all, with college and part time jobs taking all of their time, they don’t get to hang out like this much anymore.

Why they always have to try and hook him up with some random girl –or the occasional boy- in their weekly movie nights though, he has no idea.    

Pippa turns to give him an unimpressed look, crooking an eyebrow. “Of course it would. You two are practically made for each other! She’s almost as much of a geek as you, and she’s a believer.”

Jamie scowls. “She doesn’t believe in Jack!”

“Because she’s probably never even heard of him,” She rolls her eyes, “but don’t worry, we’ll fix that. And she did say that she believes in Santa and Bunny.”

“And the Tooth fairy!” Monty adds.

And the Tooth fairy,” Pippa nods, “I think she believes in Sandy as well, but well, we can only guess, since someone stormed off as soon as Alice said she didn’t know who Jack Frost was.” She says pointedly.

Jamie avoids her eyes, taking a long sip of his almost empty cup.

“Yeah, and what was that, mate?” Caleb suddenly sits up, making his twin groan about losing his pillow, “I have never seen you so angry. That look on your face… and you were all frowny! Gave the poor girl quite the scare.”

“It was that bad…?” The brunette gives his friend a guilty look, “Do you think I scared her off?”

“Nah,” Monty waves a hand, munching on a marshmallow, “That was hot.”

Jamie blushes as the rest of the boys laugh. “Please stop.” He whines.

“But why?” Pippa looks ready to strangle him, “She’s kind, sweet, and one of prettiest girls at campus! Why don’t you just give her a chance?!”

Jamie pinches the bridge of his nose, “She just- she’s just not really my type.” He sighs.

“No one is your type!” She throws her hands up in the air, and gets up to refill the now empty mugs.

Caleb thanks her as he hands over his cup, turning to grin at Jamie, “She’s right dude,” He says, “You’ve got to stop playing hard to get or you’ll never get laid. Seriously man, you’re like the only one who’s still single! I mean, look,” He points to the window, where Sophie and Josh –one of her classmates- are taking a long, romantic walk in the rain. “Even Soph’s got herself a boyfriend!”

Jamie just rolls his eyes and makes a mental note to buy a shit ton of cough syrup and a hundred boxes of tissue for when his dear sister comes down with a cold, not taking his eyes away from the screen where Harry Potter and his arch enemy are not-so-subtly flirting.

“Come on Jamie,” His friend sighs, “You can’t keep being the…” He pauses, doing a quick headcount, “…-the eleventh wheel whenever we go on group dates!”

“I’m not exactly the only one who’s not got a date in those though,” Jamie points out, “Jack usually tags along too, so it’s fine.”

“It really isn’t mate,” The other twin groans, “Remember that normal people can’t see Jack –and don’t look at me like that, I’m only telling the truth- so you seem like your talking to yourself all the time. And speaking of jack- just for how long are you gonna drag the poor guy along every time we go out? You asked him to come over that time we formed a group study, invite him to all of our movie nights, hell- you even came to school dance with Jack and spent the whole night looking like you were dancing with thin ai- wait.” He suddenly pauses, gaping at him. “Oh my god,” He says, “OH MY GOD. All this time- and you- you didn’t even tell us?!”

Jamie and the rest of the group –save for cupcake who’s too busy mourning the dead unicorn in the movie, give him strange looks. “What are you talking about?” he asks him, looking unimpressed.

Claude points at him with a wide grin on his face, looking like Christmas has come early. “I’m talking about you and Jack! Oh, You sly dog!”

“Me and Jack?” Jamie asks, now getting confused, “What about us?”

The other boy stops his cheering, looking at him like he has never heard something so stupid before. “You’re telling me,” He says slowly, “You really don’t know?”

“He doesn’t know what?”  Monty asks, looking impatient.

Claude only shakes his head.

“Jamie,” Cupcake, the only other one who seemingly knows what’s going on, asks without taking his eyes off the screen. “You said you don’t like Alice cause she’s not your type.” he nods. “Then what’s your type?”

“I’m not sure,” Jamie shrugs off Claude’s strange behavior, turning to face the girl. “I guess someone with blue eyes? And I don’t know- light hair?”

Alice has light hair.” Pippa points out as she enters the room with a tray full of steaming cups and sets it down in front of him.

“No, her hair is more of a pale golden color. I like it lighter.” He says as he picks up his mug, nodding at her in thanks. “White probably? I’ve saw some guys going around with purple dyed hair… finding someone with white hair shouldn’t be that hard, right?”

“White?” Monty asks, “Wait, you mean like Ja- ouch!” He gasps as Cupcake elbows him in the stomach, doubling over in pain.

“Be quiet,” Cupcake tells him, nodding for Jamie to go on.

“Ah- well, pale skin maybe? Like really pale. I ‘look-like-a-member-of-undead’ pale, you know?” He chuckles nervously, “And… an overall messy appearance? Unruly hair and worn clothes I guess… I have something for the homeless look.”

He quiets down as he feels the heavy gaze of his friends on him, shrinking back into the couch, “Did I- did I say something wrong?”

“Uh, no, but mate,” Caleb says carefully, “I think you pretty much just described Jack Frost.”        

 

Chapter Text

 “Uh, no, but mate,” Caleb says carefully, “I think you pretty much just described Jack Frost.”

They’re all silent for a moment as that sinks in, but then Pippa spites her cocoa out, Monty lets out a soft ‘Oh my God’, and Jamie gets up, walks to the bathroom, and locks himself in.

He doesn’t come out for a long time, not until a very soaked and very red Sophia gets home and starts pounding on the bathroom door, because ‘Hurry the fuck up Jamie, I’m freezing to death and I’d kill for a hot bath right now.’

He doesn’t want to leave his temporary shelter, but he also doesn’t want to be murdered by his own little sister- at least not without first saying goodbye to Jac- No, don’t think about him.

He gets up from where he’s been sitting for the past hour and tries not to think about Jack, because if he does, then he’s going to remember his white hair and pale skin, and the way his eyes light up when he laughs, and then he’d have to accept that he really has a crush on him. So no, he’s not going to think of Jack, or his ridiculously long lashes, or his stupid, soft looking lips that are forever bruised with cold- and oh god, he really does have a crush on Jack, doesn’t he?

Soph starts banging on the door again and her language keeps getting more and more colorful, so he takes a deep breath and gets ready to face the music.

When he comes back out, his friends are still sitting in the living room. No one says anything when he enters the room- not even the HP characters on the TV- and they all watch silently as he walks back to his seat, grabs his now-cold hot cocoa, and chunks it up in on go.

He puts the empty mug back on the table, half mindedly wishing for something stronger- something a lot stronger- to calm his racing heart. “Oh my God,” He whispers in a small voice, looking at his friends with wide, horrified, chocolate-brown eyes. “I have a crush on Jack Frost.”

“You’re selling yourself short mate,” Caleb says, probably trying to sound reassuring. “Your feelings were probably at the crush stage for like, the first two or three years you knew him or something- Right now, I think you should use the phrase ‘madly in love’.”

Cupcake elbows him and Pippa whispers something that sounds a little too much like ‘How the hell did we not figure it out sooner.’ For his peace of mind, but then, before he can say anything, Claude jumps out of his seat, runs to Sophia’s room and drags her whiteboard to the living room. “Guys,” He says seriously, “Since Jamie is an absolute moron- shut up dude, it’s the truth- I decided that it’s time that we took the matters into our own hands. So, from this moment on,” He turns around, quickly scribbling down something on top of the board, “Operation ‘Get Jamie Laid’ is in motion!”

“What?!” Jamie screams at the same time that the twins and Monty let out loud cheers, “Guys what the fuck! So I have a crush on jack, so what?! It doesn’t mean that he feels the same! And even if he did,” He takes a deep breath to calm himself, trying to ignore the tiny voice in his head that whispers that there is a chance that he actually does. “It’d- it’d be wrong! I mean, Jack looks what- fifteen? I’d sixteen at most- maybe even younger.”

“Dude,” Caleb turns to him, his eyes disbelieving, “Have you forgotten that he’s been looking sixteen for like, more than 300 years? It’ll be okay. Actually I think it’s you we should be worried about, not him.”

“And I think he likes you back.” Cupcake says quietly. “He’s just too stupid to realize it himself.”

“But-“ Jamie tries again, but doesn’t find anything else to say. “Ok whatever,” he sighs, “But we are not calling it that.”

“Fine,” Claude rolls his eyes, “We’ll call it ‘Operation Get the Two Morons Together’, happy now?”

No, Jamie is not happy, but before he can protest, the rest of the group make sounds agreement. “We’ll do it guys!” Caleb jumps on the sofa, raising his mug in the air, “We’ll Jamie and Jack together or die trying!”

Everyone cheer.

“What’s all the noise for?” asks a tired sounding Sophia, walking in the room in large carrot patterned pajamas and a towel around her neck. “What were you saying about Jack?”

Jamie jumps up, trying to save himself from all the teasing that is sure to follow if his sister finds out. “No-nothing! It’s ju-“

Claude cuts him off. “We’re trying to get Jamie and Jack together, cuz they’re obliviously in love, you see- we jus…”

But Sophia stops listening at the ‘get Jamie and Jack together’ part. “WHAT?!” She turns to Jamie, looking like she’s ready to strangle him. “You and jack broke up?!Why?!! When?!”

“Yeah Soph, I know it’s weird, but it looks like I really have a crus-“ He stops as his brain catches up with his ears, gaping at his sister. “Wait, broke up? We didn’t break up! We weren’t even dating!”

“What?” This time, Sophie is the one that looks confused. “Of course you were! I mean you went on dates and he always came over just to visit you- and- and- you’re really telling me that you haven’t been dating Jack for the last- I don’t know- six years or so?”

“What?!” He cries, “Of course not! What gave you that idea?”

“I just- I always assumed…” She stares at him like she’s has never seen him before, her eyes wide, “Wait- if you’re not dating, then all the times Jack stays over at night and you lock the damn door, just what the hell are you guys doing?!”

Jamie blushes as everyone’s head snaps to him, “I swear we aren’t doing anything like that!” He squeals, voice a pitch or two higher than usual. “Well, we sometimes have indoor snowball fights… but he usually just sits and tells me stories. You know, tales about the Easter bunny and Santa and all the other guardians- and he sometimes tells me about the three hundred years he spent wandering around, and the people he met in his time alone. I guess we do sometimes sleep next to each other –and I swear It’s only sleeping!- but he doesn’t even let me hold his hand or anything. Something about me catching a cold…” His voice slowly dies out as he looks up to find his friends staring at him.

“You know what Jamie,” Sophie says, face palming, “you two are hopeless.” She takes a sit next to the rest of the group, snatching a marker out of Claude’s hand. “So I’m gonna help you get your heads out of your asses and confess your love to each other. But it’s not gonna be easy, so we need plans.” She uncaps the marker and writes a big, orange ‘J’ on the board. “And first is plan ‘J’ cuz you should ‘just ask him out already’, and going in order is overrated anyway.”

Chapter Text

It's a beautiful, chill November morning. One of those with fluffy, white clouds in the air and a barely visible sun desperately trying to spread its warmth, only for it to be replaced by cold once again thanks to stray winds. It is cold- colder that it should be so early in November, but the weather patterns in Burgers has never made sense anyway, so no one bates an eye when all of the sudden, the playful winds go wild and tiny patterns of frost appear on the windows.

A little while later, when it's started to snow and the ground is covered by a thin layer of white, the clock chimes nine, and a sleepy Jamie Bennet hugs his pillow tighter and tries to go back to sleep. He doesn't want to get up- not when the weather is so cold, and there's snow and ice where there shouldn't be. Not when there's frost. Because if it's already winter when it shouldn't be, then it can only mean that Jack is here, and he still hasn't figured out what to do with his more-probably-than-not unrequired love.

So no, he's not going to get up, and he's not going to turn over and see the icy patterns covering his window that he is sure are already there. Instead, he's going to pretend to be asleep till Jack gets bored of throwing snow balls at his window and goes to play with kids or something. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

-Or maybe not, since he has to jump out of bed two minutes later when Sophie empties a bottle of ice-cold water on his head. "What the hell Soph!" He cries, "What was that for?!"

"For you being an idiot." His sister replies, looking at him with hard eyes, "The poor guy froze the whole house to get your attention! For the Love of God, Stop avoiding him! Now be a man and go find your boyfriend. It's time we put the plan into motion."

"I'm not avoiding him." He mumbles, not looking her in the eyes. "And maybe he's try- wait, Plan? What plan?"

"Plan 'j', dumbass." Sophie glares at him. "That one awesome plan we had to get you two together? Rings a bell? "

Jamie rakes his brain for something- anything really- that resembles an awesome plan even a little, but comes out empty handed. He does find a considerable amount of terrible ones however- and shivers. "No. No it doesn't. I don't remember any good plans."

"Well, I do." Soph says, pointing her finger at him, "You're gonna ask him out!"

Wow, well not much of a plan- much less an awesome one- but, that does sound familiar. He sighs, "Soph, I can't just-"

"You can," She cuts him off, voice hard and eyes burning. "And you will. You're gonna go out there, kneel, and profess your undying love to him. Maybe even kiss him or something, I don't know. The important part is that today, you're gonna ask Jack Frost out, and you're gonna do it fast. Because if you don't, I will do it for you, and I'm sure you can imagine how embarrassing that can be. "

She gives him an evil grin as she turns to leave, and slams the door behind her.

He just stands there and gapes at her.

Chapter Text

As soon as Jamie is out of the door, he is tackled to the ground by a sudden weight. “Jamie!” Jack cries from where he’s sprawled on top of him, eyes sparkling and smile wide -And shit, Jamie can almost understand why Tooth is so obsessed with his teeth. “I missed you so much!”

Jamie laughs, not making a move to get up, and no, it definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that he likes the feel of Jack lying on top of him. “I missed you too Jack.” He tells him, smiling as the other’s whole face lights up.

“Up for a snow ball fight?” The guardian asks as he leans down till their faces are mere inches apart and Jamie can do nothing but gulp and try his hardest not to stare at Jack’s lips. It’s almost funny, he thinks, how now that he knows of his crush on the other boy, he doesn’t seem to be able to stop noticing little things about him, like just how damn kissable his nearly blue lips look.

“Hello? Earth to Jamie?” Jack frowns, leaning down even further, and this is definitely either a cruel prank set by his sister or a test from god because goddamn it it’s hard to resist the temptation of just closing the distance between them and locking their lips in a kiss, “I asked you if you wanted to have a snow ball fight.”

Jamie shakes his head, trying to snap out of his rather inappropriate thoughts. A snow ball fight, huh? He’s not sure what to say to that. In a normal day, he’d agree without thinking. But not today, not the day he’s asking out Jack Frost.

He declines.

Sophie would call him an idiot for that, that’s just how she is. All about cheesy moves and romantic dates. Jamie has no doubt that if she could, she’d force him to accept the challenge. Ranting about playing in the snow till their hands are numb with cold and then laying in each other’s arms next to the fireplace and sharing their body heat. It doesn’t matter to her that Jack doesn’t get cold, nor does the fact that he’s got no body heat to share.

No, Soph just wants a sappy story to embarrass him with later, so it’s no wonder that she gestures for him to roll till their positions are reversed and then go for a kiss from her hiding place behind the window.

He doesn’t do that either, because bold moves might work for Soph, but they sure as hell don’t for him. So instead of pinning Jack to the ground and attacking his bruised lips, he takes a deep breath and goes for the safe approach of ‘talking’ like the scaredy cat that he is.

“No- I mean- yes, of course, but there’s something I have to tell you first.”

Jack seems a little disappointed, but nods all the same. He gets off Jamie, jumping to his feet and holding out a hand to him. Jamie barley manages to stiffen his groan of disappointment but accepts the hand anyway. They stand in silence for a while, Jack hovering a few inches in the air so he’s Jamie’s height.

“Ah, well, I just- I just wanted to- I wanted to tell you I- Um, How do I say this- I- Well, you see, I kinda- I kinda like you.” Jamie stutters like an idiot.

“Oh,” Jack says, seemingly lost. “Well, I like you too Jamie. We’re friends, right?”

“No, not like that. I lo- like you more than a friend.”

 “more than a-?” Jack’s eyes lights up, and he flies a little closer to him, grin wide and happy. “You really think of me as your best friend?”

“What, no.” Jamie groans, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

 Jack’s face falls.

“Oh,” He whispers, “of course. That would be silly.“

Jamie notices his mistake a moment too late. “Oh, God Jack no, of course you are my best friend! I just meant- well- Um, I guess what I’m trying to say is… I- I really like you? - No, wait, I said that once before- the point is- you’re like, my favorite person in the whole world. Like, I like you even more than a best friend -and no Jack I don’t mean a Super best friend or something- which you still are by the way- but you know, like, in a more- Um-“ Jamie looks down, hiding his face in his hands. He knows he’s ranting, and he can wish for nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow him whole, but that kind of things don’t happen in real life, so he just has to suck it up and get a grip,  “I mean- I wanna… No forget about me- do you wanna go out with me?” 

“Go… out with you?” Jack asks, a small confused frown on his face, before he shrugs and once again smiles brightly at him.

“Sure!” he says, and for a moment Jamie’s the happiest man in the universe, but then jack opens his mouth again and it all comes crashing down, “Geez Jamie, if you wanted to go somewhere you should’ve just told me. No need to make it such a big deal! Now, where are we going? Are your friends coming too?”

Jamie isn’t sure if he should laugh or cry, so he settles on shaking his head and smiling fondly. It’s amazing, he thinks, that even after 300 years, the sprite has managed to keep a certain level of naivety when it comes to matters like this; although he supposes that being invisible and dead also played a part in that: It’s not like you can get much action when people walk right through you.

Jack is still waiting for an answer, the small frown now back on his face as he tries to figure out why his first believer is acting so strange today, but Jamie isn’t sure what to say. He steals a glance over his shoulder, looking to where Soph is spying on them to maybe get some advice, but his little sister isn’t looking at them anymore. Instead, she has her head in her hands, shoulders shaking as she either laughs at them or sobs at their idiocy.

Jamie rolls his eyes, looking away. Well, so much for help from his loving sister.

“Jamie…?” Jack asks, and suddenly, he’s much closer than he was a moment ago and ice cold lips are touching Jamie’s forehead. He blinks once, then twice, and once more for good measures. Is jack frost… kissing his forehead?

Oh god he is.

Jamie can feel his face heating up.

Jack jumps back, looking at him with wide eyes. “I knew you were acing weird! You have a fever!” he says, letting go of the wind and landing on the ground. He goes to grab Jamie’s hand as he walks to the direction of the house, only to change his mind at the last second and grab his sleeve instead. ‘And you’re standing here in pajamas! Wet Pajamas, might I add! Jamie what the hell were you thinkin- oh.” He suddenly stops, nearly making Jamie run into him, “Did I- was it my doing?” he asks quietly, turning to give him a guilty look, “Is that why you didn’t leave the bed when I iced your window? Because you were sick? You wanted to rest and I just kept doing it again and again and again…”

“Nonononono,” Jamie says hurriedly, rushing forward to grab the other’s shoulder and comfort him, “First of all, I’m always glad to see you so it’s good you kept throwing snow balls at my window till I got up; secondly, if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s Soph’s. She’s the one who poured a bucket of water on me and then shoved me out of the door before I could change.”

Jack still doesn’t seem convinced. “I’m still sorry Jamie. I shouldn’t have woken you up when you needed your rest. I think it’s better if I get going now. All the snow is only making your cold worse.”

“But I’m not sick!” Jamie tries again, wondering how their simple plan to ask Jack out got so complicated.

“You are!” the sprite insists, “You’re acting all weird, your face is really red and you have a fever!”

“I said I’m not sic-“ and right in that moment, just because the universe hates him, a snowflake lands on his nose and makes him sneeze.

Jack gives him a ‘see what I mean’ look. “Jamie I think it’s really better if i-“

“No.”

Jack sighs, “Jamie-“

“I’m not sick!” Jamie insists for the last time, “but even if I was, I still wouldn’t want you to leave. It’s been a while since we last saw each other. Jack, I missed you.” He says, giving the other a desperate look. It’s the truth, Jack had been busy these past three weeks, and the week before that Jamie had been neck deep into homework and projects due by the end of the week, so it’d been about a month since they’d last had time to truly hang out.

Jack opens his mouth to protest, but he’s always been weak against the younger’s puppy-dog eyes, so after a long minute of fighting himself, he finally sighs and lands back on the ground. “Fine.” He says, “But first we get you in your bed and under at least three layers of blankets, and then I sit on the other side of the room.”

Jamie shrugs, he supposed it’s good enough, and he's sure he can coax jack to let go of his mother-henning and distract him from the so-called 'cold' soon enough  “Will you at least tell me a story?”

The smile that lights up jack’s face can only be described as beautiful, “The best one you’ve ever heard."