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Wow, Another One

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DAT_BOII added RookBlonko, Oh_Shit_Waddup, and luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it into a new group chat.

DAT_BOII changed the name to DEFENDERS OF THE UNIVERSE

Oh_Shit_Waddup : we aren’t voltron, ben

DAT_BOII : I CALL PIDGE

Oh_Shit_Waddup : what why you’re more like keith

DAT_BOII : THE COLOR COORDINATION

luck-had-nothing-do-with-it : why are you yelling ben

RookBlonko : His caps lock key is stuck, Ms. Gwendolyn.

Oh_Shit_Waddup : rook your name is boring full offense

RookBlonko : What?

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it : what kevin is saying is why dont you try and change it so it can be more like ours

DAT_BOII : LIKE A NICKNAME

RookBlonko : Oh. What should my nickname be, then?

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it : just give it to ben hes great at coming up with nicknames

Oh_Shit_Waddup : yeah he chose ours.

RookBlonko : Well, I guess.

RookBlonko changed name to ~SpaceKitty~

Oh_Shit_Waddup : ahhah hben why

~SpaceKitty~ : Yes, I do not understand this. Rath is more like a cat than I am.

DAT_BOII : YES, BUT NOW WE CAN GO BACK TO VOLTRON SEAMLESSLY

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it : wow really ben

DAT_BOII : YES GWEN IS KEITH

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it : why

DAT_BOII : BECAUSE COLOR COORDINATION DEAREST COUSIN

DAT_BOII : ROOK IS HUNK BC THEYRE BOTH SWEET SUMMER CHILDREN

~SpaceKitty~ : I take it you will have me watch this show with you after my monitor duty.

DAT_BOII : YES KEVIN YOU ARE LANCE

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it : what both kevin and keith are lot similar half-aliens with mullets

Oh_Shit_Waddup : and lance might die

DAT_BOII : FIRST NO LANCE WILL NOT DIE

DAT_BOII : SECONDLY I MAKE THE RULES HERE GDI

Oh_Shit_Waddup : thens who shiro

DAT_BOII : GRANDPA MAX DUH

~SpaceKitty~ : Would Magister Tennyson be upset to hear about this?

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it : probs not

Oh_Shit_Waddup : what about Allura and Coran

DAT_BOII : ALLURA IS GM VERDONA AND CORAN IS YOUR DAD KEVIN

Oh_Shit_Waddup : HWO dare you

~SpaceKitty~ : Magister Tennyson is making round please stop so I do not get in trouble.

Oh_Shit_Waddup : my dad deserves to be shiro tbfh

DAT_BOII : FUCK YOU KEVIN

~SpaceKitty~ : Magister Tennyson is

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it : rip rook

Oh_Shit_Waddup : change your name pls its so loong

DAT_BOII : LET ME PLS

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it : k

luck-had-nothing-to-do-with-it changed name to The~Luckiest~Lesbian

Oh_Shit_Waddup : nice

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : i agree

~SpaceKitty~ : Ben, I have to stay over now, and Magister Tennyson says that you should stop stop saying the f-word, and that it is a bad english word.

Oh_Shit_Waddup : #LetBenSayFuck2k17

~SpaceKitty~ : No! Do not let Ben say the f-word.

~SpaceKitty~ : Gwendolyn please help me.

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : #LetBenSayFuck2k17™

~SpaceKitty~ : Why did you trademark that Kevin said it first.

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : yes, but I trademarked it first so its mine

DAT_BOII : OKAY SO KEVIN CAN YOU COME PICK ME UP AT 5

DAT_BOII : I GOT DETENTION AGAIN

Oh_Shit_Waddup : what did you do

DAT_BOII : PUNCHED ALBEDO

DAT_BOII : ALSO #IDOWHATIWANT™

~SpaceKitty~ : Why did you punch your clone?

DAT_BOII : HE CHALLENGED ME TO A FIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HISTORY CLASS

DAT_BOII : I WAS BORED

DAT_BOII : MAY I REITERATE #IDOWHATIWANT™

Oh_Shit_Waddup : did he get detention

DAT_BOII : YES BUT WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE HIM HERE

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : BEn

DAT_BOII : GO MAKEOUT WITH CHARMCASTER

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : Fine i will

~SpaceKitty~ : I will leave, too, before I get into more trouble.

DAT_BOII : SO KEVIN Y/N?

Oh_Shit_Waddup : Sure but who would albedo be?

DAT_BOII : LOTOR

Oh_Shit_Waddup : and vilgax is zarkon

DAT_BOII : YEET

DAT_BOII added ~SpaceKitty~, Oh_Shit_Waddup, The~Luckiest~Lesbian, and ShadowTheHedgeFrog into a groupchat

DAT_BOII named that chat DOES ALBEDO IS GAY???????

DAT_BOII : SO ALBEDO HAS A CRUSH ON SOMEONE

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : tell me ben tell me

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : DOnt you dare tennyson

Oh_Shit_Waddup : your name al

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : do not call me al, and benjamin choose it for me for some asinine reason

Oh_Shit_Waddup : imposter

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : excuse me

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : faker

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : what

DAT_BOII :  ITS VILGAX

DAT_BOII : ALBEDO HAS A CRUSH ON VILGAX

~SpaceKitty~ : What?

Oh_Shit_Waddup : I CANT BREATHE

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : THEN DIE LEVIN

~SpaceKitty~ : I do not think I should know this.

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : no one should know this

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : you dug your grave tennyson

The~Luckist~Lesbian : Albedo i have a very serious set of questions please answer them close as to the truth as possible

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Okay?????

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : what gender do you identify as

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : male

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : have you always had a romance/sexual interest in the same sex/gender as you

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : No, i usually didn’t think of anyone as that

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : is vilgax the only one you have thought of in this way

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : no,

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : Have they all been male?

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : yes

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : when did these feelings start to arise

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : sometime after being stranded on earth

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : before or after the permanent dna combined

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : after

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : Ben’s dna made you gay congrats

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : WHAT

DAT_BOII : ITS GENETIC GWENDOLYN'S GAY TOO

Oh_Shit_Waddup : haha this is amazing

~SpaceKitty~ : How did you learn of Albedo’s crush on Vilgax, Ben?

DAT_BOII : WE WERE TALKING IN DETENTION AND I FIGURED IT OUT LOL

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : what is gay, how has ben dna gave it to me, is it fatal

Oh_Shit_Waddup : oh go thid is hillarous

DAT_BOII : NOT IS NOT LEVIN< GWEN PLEASE EXPLIAN I CNT

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : why cant you?

DAT_BOII : BC I CANT EXPLAIN SOMEHTIGN SERIOUS WHILE IM YELLING

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : fine Albedo, you know about sexualtiys right?

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : no

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : okay well, when a male is sexually attracted to a female only or vise vesra they are heterosexual

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : if someone is sexually attracted to both male and female then they are bisexuals, even though sometimes it can tilt one way or the other

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Alright where does gay come in

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : im getting to it,,, sometimes someone is not sexually attracted but can be romantically attracted, so there is asexual and romanctics,

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : I for instance am homosexual, and panromantic,

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : Pansexuals would be sexually attracted to all genders, and would be leaning towards some genders maybe, you do know about how multiple genders right

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Yes, alien species sometimes have members that do not have a gender, or are multi-gender including Galvans, I believe that Azmuth switches between male and what you humans call nonbinary

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : im glad you understand, well, people who are sexually attracted to members of the same sex, are called homosexuals, but since the word homosexual is long we shortened it to gay, and lesbian

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : gay for men, and lesbian for female, straight is hetero, and for almost all the rest of the sexualitys are just the prefixes, ex: bi

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : you and Ben are both gay, which is why I made a little joke about how he made you gay

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : its also okay if your sexuality changes because things about you change, and you realize things so if you become sexually attracted to someone of the opposite gender than that’s fine!

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : Ben was really scared to come out as gay since he had dated julie for a bit, but he did come to terms with his sexuality, and so did everyone else.

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : I see, thank you, i believe then I am a homosexual

DAT_BOII : COOL! WE CAN GOSSIP ABOUT UGLY BOYS ARE AT SCHOOL

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : they are quite hideous

Oh_Shit_Waddup : may i remind you of vilgax

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : shut it levin

~SpaceKitty~ : I did not know any of this either. I think I am going to research this further.

DAT_BOII : K IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS I WOULD ASK GM OR GWEN

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Levin have you figured your terms for this?

Oh_Shit_Waddup : Pansexual baby~

DAT_BOII : WHY YOU ASKING ALBEDO HMMMMMMM

DAT_BOII : WHY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : how did you do that show me

DAT_BOII : K

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : (ง°ل͜°)ง

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Ben says this one looks like its going to fight i like it

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : thats adorable

DAT_BOII : ლ,ᔑ•ﺪ͟͠•ᔐ.ლ

Oh_Shit_Waddup : JFC THATS SCARY

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : You are weak levin

DAT_BOII : (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

DAT_BOII : ITS GWEN

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : Aw that;s adorable ben

DAT_BOII : ✿◕ ‿ ◕✿

DAT_BOII : ITS CHARMCASTER

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : im gonna show her

The~Luckiest~Lesbian: she says that its adorable

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : its kevin ಠ益ಠ

Oh_Shit_Waddup : you come into my house

DAT_BOII : (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ ITS ROOK

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : i am not at your house do you have a house.

Oh_Shit_Waddup : YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE

DAT_BOII : ITS ME ( ̄。 ̄)~zzz

DAT_BOII : ITS KEVIN ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Ben kevin is bullying me

Oh_Shit_Waddup : LIES BEN you’d beleive me over him right

DAT_BOII : KEVIN ITS FIVE WHERE ARE YOU

Oh_Shit_Waddup : you distracted me im omw

DAT_BOII : K IMMA MAKE A NEW CHAT

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : why

DAT_BOII : SO I CAN TALK TO CHARMCASTER

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : ben no

DAT_BOII added The~Luckiest~Lesbian and Bi+Witch=Bitch into a groupchat.

DAT_BOII named the chat RIVALS=CRUSHES.

Bi+Witch=Bitch : Shouldn’t Levin Be In Here Then

DAT_BOII : YES KANAYA BUT HE IS DRIVING

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : We’ve talked about making homestuck references around me

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : its sad that neither of you listen to me and I know who Kanaya is

DAT_BOII : I CANT HELP IT

Bi+Witch=Bitch : sorry babe its ben’s fault

DAT_BOII : HOW

Bi+Witch=Bitch : Because it is

DAT_BOII : CANT AGURE WITH THAT LOGIC

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : *awkward silence*

DAT_BOII : DID YO FORGET YOUR LINES?

Bi+Witch=Bitch : keep your tumblr bullshit outta here

DAT_BOII : MAKE ME

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : see this is why i dont like you two talking to each other

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : you edn blocking each other or cc uses magic to mess with Ben

DAT_BOII : LSKAJFKL:JJ:DKLFFDJKLFDKLADJL:ADJ:KLSA

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : see?

Bi+Witch=Bitch : I didnt do that gwendolyn

DAT_BOII : KEVIN TRIED TO KILL ME

DAT_BOII added Oh_Shit_Waddup into RIVALS=CRUSHES

DAT_BOII : YOU TRIED TO KILL ME

Oh_Shit_Waddup : i did not we were far enough from the squirrel

DAT_BOII : YOU SWERVED AT 80 MPH AND THE ONLY REASON WE DIDNT DIE IS BECAUSE YOUR FANCY ASS CAR

DAT_BOII : I ALMOST DIED, ME

DAT_BOII : DO YOU KNOW HOW ANTICLIMATIC THAT WOULD BE

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : thats what your worried about

DAT_BOII : OF COURSE I AM THE OWNER OF THE OMNITRIX I DESERVE DIE IN AN EPIC BATTLE

Oh_Shit_Waddup : first off no you dont

Bi+Witch=Bitch : Ben deserves to die in a firey ball of death way

DAT_BOII : THANK YOU

DAT_BOII : SO GLAD TO KNOW WE’LL STOP ARGUING OVER MY DEATH

Oh_Shit_Waddup : why is she here

Bi+Witch=Bitch : Problem levin?

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : no fighting i mean it.

DAT_BOII : GWEN IS THE QUEEN OF THE LAND LISTEN TO HER

Bi+Witch=Bitch : i already do ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

DAT_BOII : ARENT YALL GOING ON A DATE TONIGHT

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : yes we are and you should ask cooper to fix phone seriously

DAT_BOII : K *DABS OUT*

Bi+Witch=Bitch : I cant believe youre dating that levin

Oh_Shit_Waddup : I know he’s amazing

Chapter Text

DAT_BOII added Coopah-King, Sparky-Boom-Man, Oh_Shit_Waddup, Fast&Fabulous, Spikey-Boy, Fight_ME, and The~Luckiest~Lesbian into a groupchat.

DAT_BOII named the chat IT’S_NOT_GAY_IF_ITS_IN_SPACE

DAT_BOII : COOPERRRRRRRRRRR I NEED YOU TO FIX MY PHONE

DAT_BOII : THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK

Coopah-King : i can see that

Fight_ME : ben the chat name

DAT_BOII : YES ITS BEAUTIFUL I KNOW

Fast&Fabulous : manny we know about your genderfluid s/o

Fight_ME : ALLEN WHY DID YOU TELL HER

Sparky-Boom-Man : IM SORRY

Sparky-Boom-Man : she guilted out of me

Oh_Shit_Waddup : i think the only straight is peirce

Spikey-Boy : how dare you

Spikey-Boy : im bi, and currently dating a very very pretty girl

Fast&Fabulous : literally he’ll talk about her for hours please kill me

Spikey-Boy : like you dont talk about Shar for days on end

DAT_BOII : AS IN ROOK SHAR?

Fast&Fabulous : yes?

DAT_BOII : THATS ROOKS LITTLE SISTER RIP HELEN

Oh_Shit_Waddup : what song can i play at your funeral helen?

Oh_Shit_Waddup : im thinking cobra starships

Oh_Shit_Waddup : or da wae

Fast&Fabulous : play either of those and i will come back to life just to destroy you

Spikey-Boy : whose rook?

DAT_BOII : MY NEW PARTNER SINCE GWEN AND KEVIN LEFT ME

Oh_Shit_Waddup : IM SORRY okay

Oh_Shit_Waddup : how can i make it up to you?

Oh_Shit_Waddup : @Coopah-King how do i do a lenny face

DAT_BOII : LJKJKLJAKSDJKJLKDJF

Fight_ME : Cooper is busy

Spikey-Boy : doing what?

Fight_ME : flirting

Fight_ME : badly

DAT_BOII : DID COOP FINALLY FIND HIS PEACH

DAT_BOII : OR MARIO

Spikey-Boy : that’s not how it works, Koopa King dealt with the Mushroom Princess, redhead and had no name, Bowser deals with peach

DAT_BOII : WHO DEALS WITH DAISY

Oh_Shit_Waddup : wait what about the monkey who does he deal with

Spikey-Boy : No one deals with daisy, donkey kong deals with pauline

Fight_ME : the chick with the stars

Spikey_Boy : no that’s rosalina

DAT_BOII : THAT'S NOT FAIR TO DAISY

Fast&Fabulous : What about cooper and his Mushroom princess

Fight_Me : it’s a boy so technially would it be his mario?

Fast&Fabulous : Arent they romatic rivals

DAT_BOII : MARIO AND BOWSER GIVE OFF GAY VIBES IM SRRY BUT THEMS THE FACT

Oh_Shit_Waddup : i had this weird ass dream once where i babysitted bowser and marios kids so

Spikey_Boy : mario is bi

DAT_BOII : PIERCE SUPPORTS US ITS CANON

Fast&Fabulous : TELL US ABOUT COOPER AND HIS MARIO

Fight_ME : why would mario and bowser let kevin babysit their kids

Fast&Fabulous : sdfhjklsdhfkjhdsfjhdf

Oh_Shit_Waddup : okay so there was like bowser first adopted seven kids + bowser jr, and then there was like seven hybrids and idk but i think mario was kidnapped or smtn so bowser had to leave to get him, but all the kids decided to follow their dad to rescue their other dad, so i had to get them before bowser knew about it.

Oh_Shit_Waddup : SO all the kids, me and bowser are in whatever castle of the dude that kidnap Mario and and mario is PISSED like i hid behind the column bullshit, and all the kids had this shiteating grin, they knew what they were doing. And i woke up

Coopah-King : what the

Coopah-King : wait all the kids so seven adopted + bowser jr + the hybrids

Oh_Shit_Waddup : yup

DAT_BOII : I WANNA PLAY THAT GAME

Spikey-Boy : same

Coopah-King : MANNY PLEASE DONT TELL THEM WHO I WAS FLIRTING WITH PLEASE

Fight_ME sent an image [gwen make allen some mario cosplay]

DAT_BOII : IT WAS ALLEN?????? @Sparky-Boom-Man

Sparky-Boom-Man :IOFLAJFASLKJ I HATE ALL OF YOU

DAT_BOII: NO YOU DONT

Sparky-Boom-Man : only you ben and cooper

Oh_Shit_Waddup : make a chat with all plumber kids

DAT_BOII : GOTCHA

DAT_BOII added ~SpaceKitty~, Coopah-King, Fast&Fabulous, Fight_ME, Oh_Shit_Waddup, ShadowTheHedgeFrog, Sparky-Boom-Man, Spikey-Boy, StarSludge, and The~Luckiest~Lesbian into a groupchat.

DAT_BOII named the chat SAVING-THE-UNIVERSE-WITH-LOVE .

StarSludge : boii

DAT_BOII : YES

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Ben, explain now.

DAT_BOII : ALL THE PLUMBERS IN ONE GROUPCHAT

Fast&Fabulous : wait is that albedo

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : how do you know who i am

Fast&Fabulous: you told me you didnt have this app

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : helen? Oh i lied

Spikey-Boy : he isnt even ashamed

Fight_ME : ME BICH

StarSludge : Ben how dare you not introduce me

DAT_BOII : THIS MY SECOND COUSIN LUCY AND SHES A SLUDGEPUPPY

StarSludge : yup thats me

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : does she have the gay like you and gwen?

Fight_ME : ‘have the gay’

StarSludge : im ace ;0

StarSludge : no wait ;)

StarSludge : thats better

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : thats? asexual right?

StarSludge : yup! ace ace baby ~

DAT_BOII : IM GAY ALLEN YOURE NEXT

Sparky-Boom-Man : im bi

Fight_ME : why are we talking about this

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : so albedo feels more comfortable with his sexuality

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : ive been researching terms

Fight_ME : well i chose not have labels, i don’t like them, and im comfortable with that

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : not having a label is acceptable?

DAT_BOII : OF COURSE IF YOU DONT WANT A LABEL YOU DONT NEED ONE BUT BY ASSOCIATION YOURE WITH THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, plus community correct?

Fast&Fabulous : correct

Fast&Fabulous :  im bi

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : as much as i like learning about new things, can we please change the topic, like memes?

DAT_BOII : AHHHH ALBEDO WANTS MEMES MORE THAN KNOWLEDGE IM SO PROUD

Oh_Shit_Waddup : @The~Luckiest~Lesbian do the untumblrized meme but with ben 10 and ben 23

DAT_BOII : IM OFFENDED

Spikey_Boy : im sorry whom

~SpaceKitty~ : it is alternative timeline ben, i believe our ben is ben prime, correct?

DAT_BOII : YEP, IM THE ORIGINAL

Fight_ME : what how many ben’s are there

DAT_BOII : SO THERE’S ME, BEN 23, BEN 10,000, GWEN 10, ARGIT 10 (KILL ME), NEGA BEN, ALBEDO, MAD BEN, EON, BAD BEN, BENZARRO, NO WATCH BEN,

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : wait why am i up there

DAT_BOII : BECAUSE YOU FOUGHT WITH VILGAX AND THE OTHER ME”S AGAINST NW BEN

Fight_ME : man living on the other side of the galaxy from ben has gotten boring,

Fast&Fabulous : argit 10

Spikey-Boy : the timeline god abandoned

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : kevin keeps playing ‘everybody knows shits fucked’ and im

Coopah-King : no thanks

Chapter Text

RIVALS=CRUSHES

DAT_BOII : @The~Luckiest~Lesbian DO YOU REMEMBER EDDIE

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : eddie?

DAT_BOII : EDDIE GRANDSMITH

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : oh? Your first bf?

DAT_BOII : YEAH

Oh_Shit_Waddup : um what

DAT_BOII : I WAS TEN

DAT_BOII : THE FIRST BOY I LIKED

DAT_BOII : ANYWAY HE’S HERE IN BELLWOOD

Bi+Witch=Bitch : i think kevins gonna get jealous

Oh_Shit_Waddup : mike

Bi+Witch=Bitch : shut up

DAT_BOII : UGH BILLYS FIGHTING BYE

Oh_Shit_Waddup : who the fuck is billy

Bi+Witch=Bitch : a kid thats is mentally 16 but stuck in a ten year old body that hates ben, because ben is a hero of the story

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : honestly? Can i fight him

Bi+Witch=Bitch : i would say yes but he’s too busy fighting ben

Oh_Shit_Waddup : are you just watching

Bi+Witch=Bitch : yeah, boy scout is fine tho

DAT_BOII : DONT CALL ME BOY SCOUT

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : aren’t you fighting billy

DAT_BOII : WE”RE DONE NOW

Oh_Shit_Waddup : so who exactly is this eddie character

DAT_BOII : A FRIEND?????

DAT_BOII : GIVE ME A MINUTE ILL MAKE A CHAT FOR ALL MY CIVILIAN FRIENDS

DAT_BOII added aliensarereal, baseball, Fix-My-Car-Benjamin, and MoneyMoneyMoney into a groupchat.

DAT_BOII changed the chat name to Citizens.

aliensarereal : ben??

DAT_BOII : YES KEN??

baseball : whats going on?

DAT_BOII : IM PUTTING ALL MY NONFIGHTING FRIENDS IN A GC

Fix-My-Car-Benjamin : am i really your friend, tho

aliensarereal : fucking savage

Fix-My-Car-Benjamin : watch your language kenneth tennyson

aliensarereal : mr baumann??

Fix-My-Car-Benjamin : yes

baseball : im dead lol

MoneyMoneyMoney : BENNY!!!!!!!!!

DAT_BOII : EDDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aliensarereal : how does kevin feel about you talking to your first bf?

DAT_BOII : KEVIN IS MATURE HE CAN DEAL WITH ME TALKING TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Fix-My-Car-Benjamin : and if he can’t, dump him

DAT_BOII : ^^^^^^^^^

baseball : im not at all shocked that mr baumann is the most savage here

DAT_BOII : I JUST REALIZED SMTHN

DAT_BOII added Sarcasm into Citizens.

Sarcasm : what am i doing here?

DAT_BOII : YOURE NOT A PLUMBER YOU NEVER WENT TO THE ACADEMY SO YOUR TECHNICALLY A FREELANCER HOLY HILL

Sarcasm : first all fuck you

Fix-My-Car-Benjamin : Language.

Vilgax added Animo-Acids, Bro, Eon, Hunter, Nail-Polish, Onions-And-Fish, Rich-12-YO, Rojo, ShadowTheHedgeFrog, Shiny-Black-Opal, Snatched into a groupchat.

Vilgax named the chat let's-kill-Ben-Tennyson.

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : let’s not????

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : did yall forget that im supposed to be redeemed

Bro : pussy

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : no thx im gay

Rich-12-YO : what the shit

Vilgax : im started to regret this

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : then kick me out!!!

Onions-and-Fish : why don’t you want kill Ben?

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : because im redeemed.

ShadowTheHedgeFrog added DAT_BOII into let's-kill-Ben-Tennyson.

DAT-BOII : ALBEDO WHAT THE FUCK

Vilgax : who is in my group chat to discuss the upcoming fall of tennyson.

DAT_BOII : TENNYSON.

Bro : bro

DAT_BOII : HOW DO YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE IN JAIL

Bro : i bro-ke out

DAT_BOII : IM GOING TO KILL YOU ISTG

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : please kick us out

Rojo : no one knows how

DAT_BOII : HOLY SHIT YOURE STILL ALIVE????? I THOUGHT I KILLED THE NEGATIVE TEN - CC

Rojo : you didn’t kill us moron

Rojo : ive just been in remission so get ready

DAT_BOII : OKAY RED

DAT_BOII : WHO THE FUCK IS SHINY BLACK OPAL

Shiny-Black-Opal : Aww, Benjamin. I’m hurt that you could forget me.

Shiny-Black-Opal : It’s Michael Darkstar.

DAT_BOII : I CANT STOP GAGGING????????

SAVING-THE-UNIVERSE-WITH-LOVE.

~SpaceKitty~ : is ben okay

~SpaceKitty~ sent a picture [i need more medical knowledge on humans]

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : he’s just gagging for some reason

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : he is actually gagging, it’s beautiful

Oh_Shit_Waddup : what happened

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : i added him to a gc that’s full of his enemies trying to kicked out but none of them know how so they started introducing themselves and junk and we got to a Michael Darkstar?? I have no clue who that is

Bi+Witch=Bitch : add me

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : no dont

Bi+Witch=Bitch : the fact that he actually gagging at the mention of mike is beautiful

Fast&Fabulous : who else is in the chat

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : animo, uhh acidbreathe, fistrick, thumbskull, frightwig, rojo, some guy with the name ‘rich-12-yo’, mike, vilgax, eon, me, ben, some dude named hunter??

~SpaceKitty~ : and ben hasn’t killed fistrick yet?

Sparky-Boom-Man : why does he hate fistrick?

~SpaceKitty~ : fistrick kissed him a few months ago, and ben hates the way he talks

Oh_Shit_Waddup : where does this fistrick live??

Spikey-Boy : am i the only one shocked at vilgax in a groupchat

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : he made it

Fight_ME : ahh who is vilgax again

Coopah-King : oh biggest mood

Fast&Fabulous : never say that again

Sparky-Boom-Man : wait whose ‘rich-12-yo; and hunter???

~SpaceKitty~: billy billions, and i believe khyber

Oh_Shit_Waddup : tell khyber to met me behind mr slushy #16 @ 2 am for a fist fight

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : would you like me to challenge fistrick too

Oh_Shit_Waddup : YES

lets-kill-Ben-Tennyson

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : so someone wants to fistfight a khyber????

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : and fistrick

Hunter : and who would dare to challenge me

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : kevin levin

Shiny-Black-Opal : Oh, Kevin is quite a handful.~

Shiny-Black-Opal : Would you like any help?

DAT_BOII : I JUST STOPPED GAGGING AND NOW ITS BACK

Hunter : Where is the duel?

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : Mr. Slushy #16 at 2 am.

Hunter : where is that

DAT_BOII : HA

Shiny-Black-Opal : Now, why is our Benjamin laughing?

DAT_BOII : BECAUSE KHYBER”S WEIRD HUNTER CODE HE HAS TO ACCEPT THE FIGHT BUT ONLY KEVIN AND ME KNOWS WHICH ONE IS #16, AND SINCE THERES 22 MR SLUSHYS HE CANT JUST GUESS

Bro : why does he want to thorw down with me

DAT_BOII : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : anyway ben are you just gonna spam this chat with memes

DAT_BOII : NOW I AM

Rojo : why al

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : my name is albedo

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : i hate this chat

Animo-Acids : why would you forsaken us though

DAT_BOII : YOU GUYS KINDA DERSERVE IT

Snatched : wait what if we keep tennyson up so he cant get sleep and energy

DAT_BOII : ILL JUST MUTE THE CHAT

Vilgax : wait you can do that

DAT_BOII : YUPPO

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : why do the villains even need a gc

Onions-and-Fish : don’t judge us

DAT_BOII : IM TAKING A NAP BYE

Professor-Para added 24th-Alien, AngerTM, Cactus-Weed, ClownsAreStillScary, DAT_BOII, Eon, I-Just-Want-My-Watch-Back, It's-A-Bat, and ShadowTheHedgeFrog into a groupchat.

Professor-Para named the chat A-Bunch-of-Bens.

DAT_BOII : NOICE

I-Just-Want-My-Watch-Back : whats going on

DAT_BOII : GC WITH ALL BENS + ALBEDO

Eon : this is silly

AngerTM : i agree

Professor-Para : maybe we should all introduce ourselves

24th-Alien : ben 23

AngerTM : then why are you the 24th alien?????

24th-Alien : it’s for a movie coming up

Cactus-Weed : GUESS WHOS REDEEMED MOTHER FUCKERS

Eon : why the fuck are you redeemed

Cactus-Weed : because i deadass have nothing.

DAT_BOII : SAME

Cactus-Weed : you have friends

I-Just-Want-My-Watch-Back : im as yall probably guessed no watch ben

DAT_BOII : WE CALL YOU NW BEN FOR SHORT

I-Just-Want-My-Watch-Back : whose we

DAT_BOII : GWEN, KEVIN, AND ROOK, BASICALLY ALL MY FRIENDS

Cactus-Weed :

AngerTM : wait whose Kevin

ClownsAreStillScary : and rook

DAT_BOII : KEVIN LEVIN????? AND ROOK”S THIS SUPER COOL ALIEN DUDE

Cactus-Weed : Kevin???? Bruh and you haven’t killed him yet?

DAT_BOII : NO?

Cactus-Weed : tragic

AngerTM : wait the dude that’s been trying to kill us since we were 10?

ClownsAreStillScary : i literally don’t know either of those people

I-Just-Want-My-Watch-Back : can we get back to introductions?

Cactus-Weed : im the ben that lives in that desert world, that really isn’t a desert anymore

DAT_BOII : MAD BEN

AngerTM : wait why is he mad ben

DAT_BOII : HIS WORLD REMINDS ME OF MOVIE CALLED MAD MAX SO

AngerTM : wait let’s guess by your nicknames if they’re correct

DAT_BOII : OKAY??? SO THERES BAD BEN THAT JUST LOOKS LIKE ME BUT WITH BLACK HAIR

Its-A-Bat : listne i cna dey my hria ayn way i wnat

DAT_BOII : HOLY SHIT

AngerTM : even I can’t spell that bad in as gwen calls them ‘my moods’

Cactus-Weed : what does that say

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : ‘listen i can dye my hair anyway i want’

DAT_BOII : ALBEDO THANKS

AngerTM : isn’t albedo the albino one that really isn’t a alternate dismension??

DAT_BOII : YES

Cactus-Weed : continue

DAT_BOII : THERE”S NEGA BEN THAT WEARS A JACKET AND HAS EMO HAIR

AngerTM : that-a me

DAT_BOII : FINALLY BENZARRO

ClownsAreStillScary : i’m guessing that’s me

Citizens

aliensarereal : @DAT_BOII do you even know how to fix a car

DAT_BOII : SINCE IVE BEEN FIXING MR BAUMANN”S CAR SINCE I WAS 7 YEAH

DAT_BOII : I MEAN I DONT KNOW THE ACTUAL NAMES OF THE PARTS I JUST CALL THEM “THE ONE SPINNY THING THAT NEEDS TO BE ELECTROCED TO SPIN”

Fix-My-Car-Benjamin : It took calling Max to translate what he wanted

DAT_BOII : YEAH A SCREAMING 7 YEAR OLD DEMANDING A SPATULA SCREW WHILE A MAN WEARING A CANDY STRIPED SHIRT ON THE PHONE SCREAMING THAT HE DOESN”T UNDERSTAND GOT ALOT OF OUR NEIGHBORS CALLED THE POLICE AND THE DOCTORS

Chapter Text

Princess started a conversation with DAT_BOII

Princess : Benjamin Tenjamin

DAT_BOII : IM GONNA FUCKING KILL KEVIN ISTG

DAT_BOII : ITS BEN TENNYSON, LOOMA

Princess : ok BEN TENNYSON

DAT_BOII : YEAH THAT'S FINE

DAT_BOII : SO WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT

Princess : that princess that i fought for your hand, do you have her information on this chatting app?

DAT_BOII : IF YOU MEAN DO I HAVE HER CHAT HANDLE THAN YES WHY

Princess : i wish to speak to her

DAT_BOII : YOU DO KNOW THAT I, AS A PLUMBER, NEED TO BE PRESENT IN ALL CONTACTS BETWEEN MONARCHS

Princess : just do it

DAT_BOII added Princess, and TheFrogPrincess into a groupchat.

TheFrogPrincess : ben what is this

DAT_BOII : LOOMA WANTED TO TALK TO YOU, BUT SINCE IM IN PLUMBERS I HAVE TO LIKE READ YALL CONVERSATION

Princess : i didn’t know that you could have multiple people in a chat

DAT_BOII : ITS CALLED A GROUP CHAT

TheFrogPrincess : name the gc dammit

DAT_BOII : LOOMA DONT REPEAT WHAT ATTEA SAYS

Princess : dammit

DAT_BOII named the groupchat Can-I-Please-Fight-Someone

DAT_BOII : I THOUGHT IT FIT

TheFrogPrincess : TI DOES HOLY SHIT

DAT_BOII : STOP CURSING

SAVING-THE-UNIVERSE-WITH-LOVE

DAT_BOII : ATTEA KEEPS TRYING TO GET LOOMA TO CURSE

DAT_BOII : LSKJFLAKJFLKAF

DAT_BOII : HOW DO I STOP IT

Oh_Shit_Waddup : press f to pay respect

Sparky-Boom-Man : f

StarSludge : f

Fight_ME : f

Fast&Fabulous : f

Spikey-Boy : f

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : f

DAT_BOII : YALL WERE FUCKING READY HOLY SHI

~SpaceKitty~ : f

DAT_BOII : NOOO ROOK

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : f

DAT_BOII : I CAN”T BELIEVE THIS

Oh_Shit_Waddup : holy shit this is great

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : i dont even know why but kevin just said to type f in and then enter

DAT_BOII : WAIT ARE YALL HANGING OUT WITHOUT ME

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : yes because you are supposed to be in school right now

DAT_BOII : I AM IN SCHOOL

~SpaceKitty~ : you are currently in history and you need to work on your english project

DAT_BOII : EH TU BRUTE

Fight_ME : why are you speaking french

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : please tell me that you went to school

Fight_ME : i dont know her

Fast&Fabulous : sakldfjskldfjsd WE STAN

Oh_Shit_Waddup : i thought you hated that meme

Spikey-Boy : we started using ironically and now we cant stop

DAT_BOII : WELL ISNT THAT

Fight_ME : dont

DAT_BOII : IRONIC

Coopah-King : are either of you using ironic correctly

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : ben is but pierce isn’t

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : i dont know english that well wait do you want to hear what happened at school with ben and some kids a few days ago

DAT_BOII : LAKLAKJDL NO ALBEDO PLEASE

~SpaceKitty~: that means you have to tell us

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : so a bunch of these assholes were complaining and they were like being racist against aliens

Fight_ME : let me fight em

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : ben did something so much better, he started talking in galvan and cause we have all those hard h’s and quick pronunciation he sounded like demonic, and the kids started freaking out

DAT_BOII : I TPOSED

Oh_Shit_Waddup : for dominance

Sparky-Boom-Man : im crying

ShadowTheHedgeFrog: he was doing time tables and that crap and he was getting some of it wrong and now they think im a demon

Spikey-Boy : i mean, you are basically demonic colored Ben

DAT_BOII : mom kinda mad about too

DAT_BOII : i mean i didn’t tell her that i have an evil dna combined galvan

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : thank you for not calling me your evil clone since none of the kids at school have enough brain matter to understand that simple concept

Oh_Shit_Waddup : no offense but like most normal ass kids don’t talk to aliens

DAT_BOII : GLAD IM NOT

Fight_ME : wait is that why you call it grey matter??? Cause it’s grey and brain matter

DAT_BOII : brain matter is called grey matter

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : plus galvan are tiny compared to humans

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : plus smarts

Oh_Shit_Waddup : STREET SMARTS

Fight_ME : bittenbinder technique

DAT_BOII : THROW HIM OFF HIS RHYTHM

Fast&Fabulous : never go to the secondary location

Spikey-Boy : when you get thrown in the back of a car, reach your little pudgy hand out, tear over the carpet and punch the taillight out

Fight_ME : i think theyre turning left

Coopah-King : HORSE IN A HOSPITAL

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : i guess you could say that i gave my college 120,000 dollars

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : and you have the audacity to ask me for more money??

The~Luckiest~Lesbian: i gave you more money than the civil war cost and you spent it alreadY

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : what kind of cokehead relative is my college

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : YOU SPENT IT ALREADY!!!!

DAT_BOII : THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL

Sparky-Boom-Man : my wife is a bitch and i love her so much

Shadow-The-HedgeFrog : because you know as any chicago police officer knows, a phone book never leaves bruises.

Fight_ME : BEAUTIFUL

let’s-kill-Ben-Tennyson

Onions-and-Fish : so then this bitch decided she was gonna cut me off in traffic

Onions-and-Fish : so i melted her tires

DAT_BOII : IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT THIS HOSPITAL I WILL STOMP YOU TO DEATH WITH MY HOOVES

Vilgax : what the actual fuck

DAT_BOII : WHOOPIES

DAT_BOII : WRONG GC NVM

Snatched : wait what were yall talking about

DAT_BOII : john mulaney quotes

Hunter : smae

DAT_BOII : BRUH I DO THAT TYOP LIKE 95% OF THE TIME I TYPE SMAE

DAT_BOII : ALKJFA:KLFJ DLKFSJ SEE

Vilgax : ok the first person to kill ben gets money

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : thats what i thought youd say you dumb fucking horse

Vilgax : IOUOROIQUOQWEQw WHAT

DAT_BOII : VILGAX EVEN KEYSMASHES WRONG

Rich-12-YO : i cant believe albedo killed vilgax like that

Bro : hello 911, i would like to report a murder

Snatched : how do you keysmash wrong

DAT_BOII : YOU NEED TO USE ASDFGHJKL;I, the rest are ugle and wrong

Bro : that dumbass typing method

DAT_BOII : it works

Rich-12-YO : wait what typing method

DAT_BOII : ITS CALLED QWERTY

Rich-12-YO : that shit??????

RIch-12-YO : i fucking hate that shit

Rojo : wait i dont remember that crap???

DAT_BOII : YOURE LIKE THIRTY OFC YOU DONT REMEMBER IT

Rojo : BICH

SAVING-THE-UNIVERSE-WITH-LOVE

ShadowTheHedgeFrog sent the image [ikilledvilgaxandbenhelpedabit]

DAT_BOII : A BIT?

DAT_BOII : A FUCKING BIT????

DAT_BOII : A MORE THAN A FUCKING BIT THANK YOU??

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : @Fast&Fabulous can you tell me if the picture is incrimanting or anything like that

Fast&Fabulous : it’s just a screenshot

Oh-Shit-Waddup : lkjk;sldjfklsaf STONE COLD ALBEDO STONE COLD

~SpaceKitty~: yes i agree

~SpaceKitty~ : i mean you think he’s attractive

Spikey-Boy : im sorry what

Sparky-Boom-Man : ALBEDO HAS A CRUSH ON WHOM

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : right you weren’t here let me give ya some screenshots

The~Luckiest~Lesbian sent the images [ajokegonewrong-pt1], [ajokegonewrong-pt2], [ajokegonewrong-pt3].

King-Coopah : same

Sparky-Boom-Man : that is a joke gone wrong

Fast&Fabulous : that,,,that is so beautiful

Fight_ME : am i the only one that thinks that how quick albedo was to freak out funny???? Like

Spikey-Boy : no it is funny but it’s even funnier when you realize that albedo has never once sat like a gay

ShadowTheHedgeFrog : sit like a gay??

DAT_BOII : GAYS CAN”T SIT RIGHT OR DRIVE

Oh_Shit_Waddup : yeah but bi’s can

King-Coopah : al;kjsdflkasjd

King-Coopah : not to be stupid on main but i just realized yall have matching names

Spikey-Boy : yall

Fast&Fabulous : yall

Sparky-Boom-Man : yall

~SpaceKitty~ : why does it matter that their names match

Fast&Fabulous : well like usually only couples have matching names on like anything

~SpaceKitty~ : ?

Oh_Shit_Waddup : LKJOJLKJFD I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : wow,

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : who would have thought that kevin

Oh_Shit_Waddup : please dont

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : would forget to tell his friends

The~Luckiest~Lesbian : that he’s dating my baby cousin

DAT_BOII: I AM TEN MINUTES YOUNGER THAN YOU OKAY

Fast&Fabulous : IM SORRY WHAT

Fight_ME : IM NOT SORRY HOW COUlD YOU NOT TELL US

~SpaceKitty~: there’s a fight on the surface time to go goodbye

DAT_BOII : TTYL

Citizens

DAT_BOII : ILL FIX YOUR CAR TOMMORROW AFTER MY SHIFT @ THE PLUMBERS

Fix-My-Car-Benjamin : why am i not surprised

aliens-are-real : wait aren’t you across town from baumann’s shop

DAT_BOII : YES BUT ACCIDENT HAPPEN

Sarcasm : not that shocked

MoneyMoneyMoney : don’t listen to them benny they’re just jealous

DAT_BOII : I KNOW THAT EDDIE

DAT_BOII : GTG

DAT_BOII : I HAVE TO FINISH FIGHTING ROJO