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The Evil Is Defeated

Chapter Text

Kirishima has added Bakugou, Midoriya, Uraraka, Todoroki, Kaminari, Iida, Mina +12 others to the chat!

Kirishima: to celebrate the punishment of A Little Rat Bitch I have formed this safe haven to talk shit about He Who Shall Not Be Named whenever we want

Kaminari: a mood

Kaminari: thank u for this blessed offering Kiri

Mina: kiri for platonic class president

Mina: (not usurping iida, iida is #1 class pres)

Kirishima: g uys,,

Kaminari: @ Iida  ur doing amazing sweetie

Iida: Wh

Iida: Thank you?

Iida: I must ask that we ensure this chat is used productively, and does not stray too off task or into subjects people may not want to talk about!

Kaminari: what does used productively mean

Midoriya: Shit talk about Mineta, say Fuck Endeavour.

Iida: Essentially...

Todoroki: oh, worm?

Kirishima has pinned a message to the channel

Kirishima: hell yeah! All the shit in my good homely server

Sero: how did midoriya get the first f bomb in here

Kaminari: my pure boy? Ruined? It's more likely than you think

Kirishima: who hurt u sweet bb

Midoriya: kacchan

Kirishima: omw to punch a bro

Bakugou: fuck

Kaminari: fksvskabakab

Yaoyorozu  has changed their name to  Momo

Mina: shit we can change our names hell yeah

Iida: Oh no

Momo: Oh no.

Todoroki: oh no

Sero: OH Y E  A H

Kirishima: krhkBKdhakah

Kaminari: bro,,, you never told me you were the kool aid man,,,

Sero: bro,, I'm sorry

Kaminari: b r o

Sero: babe,, it's not what it looks like

Kaminari: I can't believe you've done this babe,,,

Sero: no homo but babe ily I'm sorry I hurt u

Kaminari: bro homo ily2

Bakugou: Can you ass muffins stop for three seconds?

Kaminari: bro

Sero: b r o

Kirishima: g u y s

Kaminari: ruining such a tender moment smh

Sero: now we need to plot revenge

Kirishima: g uys oh my g o d

Sero: no, that is the law of this land

Sero: we must now make him ill whenever he enters a room

Kaminari: caaaaaaaan d o

Sero: nice

Kaminari: pm me it bih

Sero: u got it babe

Kaminari: thanks babe

Bakugou: If it were not for the laws of this land I would have slaughtered you


Bakugou: gotta blast

Kirishima: it's funny because his quirk is explosions


Bakugou: I'm leaving


Bakugou: bond with your bondage boyfriend

Sero: kgkbdma

Sero: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

Bakugou: sorry do you want a fucking bandaid

Sero: for my heart? Yes pls

Bakugou: sure let me just grab some scissors to cut off the shit coming out of your fucking arms


Sero  has changed their name to  BandaidArms

Bakugou: I hate this fucking family

Kirishima: aw babe

Bakugou: KVdkabekaoahsabvslama

Mina  has changed their name to  Xenomorph

Xenomorph: owo

Hagakure  has changed their name to  Whomst

Whomst: what's this???

Kaminari: why is ur name whomst

Whomst: once during training I spoke but I had my gloves off and snipe whispered 'whomst’ really quietly and Aizawa choked on his juice pouch

Kaminari: whrjks whAT

Uraraka  has changed their name to  Space

Space: receipts????

Tsuyu  has changed their name to  Lesbian

Lesbian: why are you calling out our good father like this

Kaminari: wrsksb you tWo hAve matching names I'm whEEZING

Kaminari  has changed their name to  DeezWatts

Lesbian: out.

Lesbian: out of my house.

DeezWatts: make me

Lesbian: ew

Lesbian: @ Jirou

Jirou: u stole my name???

Lesbian: get over it, we're both mature lesbians

Jirou: done and correct

Jirou  has changed their name to  BoomBoomPow

BoomBoomPow: what u need

Lesbian: Kaminari, gone

BoomBoomPow: ew

DeezWatts: I'm being attacked

BoomBoomPow: it's okay bc we love you

DeezWatts: correct but also :(

Lesbian: your name.

DeezWatts: your words can't hurt me deez watts are Gucci

Lesbian: I'm out

Space: oh n O

Lesbian: ((out being your room ochaco please open the door))

Space: I'm oN mY WAY

Iida: I leave for 5 minutes

Todoroki: me, upon entering the room finding you covered in glitter.

Iida: Midoriya wanted glitter, it's my job to get glitter, Todoroki. As both the class president and his friend!

Todoroki: sounds gay

Iida: It was intended

Todoroki: n i c e

Todoroki: I want glitter too

Iida: You're already in the room just hovering in the doorway.

Todoroki: correct

Iida: Midoriya is going to grab you if you don't enter by yourself.

Midoriya  is idle

Todoroki: oh sh

Todoroki  is now idle

Iida: shit

Iida  is now idle

DeezWatts: moooooOOOOM IIDA S WORE

Space: wait who's our mom

DeezWatts: midnight

Momo: Midnight

BandaidArms: Midnight

Kirishima: midnight

Lesbian: midnight

Bakugou: midnight

BoomBoomPow: even bakugou knows it's midnight

Space: sorry!!! My experiences with her have been questionable lol

Space: she wiggled her eyebrows at me when I was talking to tsu and when tsu went to class she held me back to tell me 'get some girl’

BoomBoomPow: classic mom move

Space: really????

Momo: I suppose?

BoomBoomPow: it's like when present mic patted my shoulder and just gave me a thumbs up and a wink after momo kissed me on the cheek

Space: He's our supportive,,, uncle??

Lesbian: dad.

Space: another one,,?

Lesbian: hon I love you, I love you so much

Lesbian: but we have a lot of parental figures

Space: idk sounds pretty gay tsu

Lesbian: h o n

Space: jk coming into steal a kiss now

Lesbian: steal one I dare y

Space  is now idle

Lesbian  is now idle

DeezWatts: wait since midnight is our mom and Aizawa is our dad are they supposedly together??

DeezWatts: or mic and someone

Xenomorph: why did you specify someone for mic

DeezWatts: he's the definition of a bisexual

DeezWatts: leather jacket? Yee

DeezWatts: finger guns??? Yeeee

DeezWatts: puns????? Longest yeah boi ever

Xenomorph: I require receipts to feel reassured??

Midoriya  is no longer idle

Midoriya: [Transcript from Put Your Hands Up Radio!!! PM - Present Mic, GS - Guest Speaker]

PM: So! What can you tell us about you? Special someone?

GS: Oh!! Haha no not right now! I'm just working on my job right now but- you're always talking about it right? Any girls for you huh?

PM: Pfffff!! Listener, there aren't any girls in my life but I sure am happy with my guy!

GS: Oh!! Are you like…?

PM: No need to be nervous! I've been openly bisexual since the three month anniversary of this radio show! I've been with my partner for a long time and I'm very happy with him!

[End transcript]


Midoriya: :DD No problem!!!! He does a ton of interesting talks about the LGBT+ community!!

Midoriya: he also plays meme music around 2-5 am on Saturdays (Sunday mornings)

Xenomorph: :3c

DeezWatts: :3c

BandaidArms: :3c

DeezWatts: my interest is peaked

DeezWatts: piqqued

DeezWatts: p

DeezWatts: snatched.

Bandaidarms: nice recovery

DeezWatts: thx bro

BandaidArms: yw bro

Bakugou: Oh no you fucking don't

Bakugou  is now idle

DeezWatts: oh no

Xenomorph: oh no

Kirishima: oh no

BandaidArms: oh,,, yeah?

BandaidArms  is now idle

DeezWatts  is now idle

Bakugou  is no longer idle

Bakugou: welcome to FUCKING flavour town

Iida  is no longer idle

Iida: As class president I believe it is in everyone's best interests if Bakugou were to calm down, as well as Kaminari and Sero perhaps toning down whatever they were doing before to ensure such chaos.

Iida: The last time this happened Bakugou broke a window and I'm not explaining to Mr.Aizawa that “I'm sorry sir, my classmates couldn't control their gay urges and relentlessly teased the walking minefield”

Iida: The disappointed dad(uncle??) stare is not a pleasant one

Midoriya: Tone it down for Iida's safety pls

Xenomorph: look at those pure good boys

Xenomorph  has changed  Midoriya  's name to  Pure

Xenomorph: u wouldn't disappoint them now would you,, @ BandaidArms , @ DeezWatts , @ Bakugou

BandaidArms  is no longer idle

DeezWatts  is no longer idle

BandaidArms: ,,,,,,,

DeezWatts: p ure

Bakugou: yes I fucking would

Xenomorph: disgusting out of my good home.

Kirishima: divorced

Bakugou: horror.

Kirishima: :(


Kirishima: : (

Bakugou: fine

DeezWatts: whipped.

BandaidArms  has changed  Bakugou  's name to  Bakugay


Bakugay: you have three seconds

Kirishima  has changed their name to  Queerishima

Queerishima: and now we match!!!


Bakugay: he has twenty seconds.

Queerishima: <333333

BandaidArms: thank u sweet bro

Bakugay: fifteen.

Queerishima:  run

Pure: you'll need a head start

BandaidArms: thank u midoribabe

Bakugay: ten.

BandaidArms  is now idle

Iida: Oh dear

Iida: You're going to have to Run™


DeezWatts  has changed  Iida  's name to  Run

Run™: I

Run™: I suppose?

Aoyama  has changed their name to  FrenchSparkleParty

Shouji  has changed their name to  Tentacruel

Tokoyami  has changed their name to  Murkrow

Satou  has changed their name to  CandyCRONCH

Ojiro  has changed their name to  Infernape

Kouda  has changed their name to  Rowlet

Todoroki  has changed their name to  Vulpix

Infernape: why Vulpix?

Vulpix: normal Vulpix is fire type

Vulpix: alolan Vulpix is ice

Vulpix: and foxes are cute

Infernape: understandable have a nice day

Pure: not as cute as u tho todo

Infernape: sorry my mistake have a nice *gay

Pure: I mean


Vulpix: sO WHy infernape

Infernape: him tail

Vulpix: you're right

Infernape: I tail

Vulpix: also correct

Infernape: difference? Lil bit.

Infernape: why the others tho

CandyCRONCH: do you have to ask

Infernape: guess not?

Tentacruel: I'm

Tentacruel: am I not self explanatory

Infernape: my mistake you are correct

Rowlet: !!!!!! OvO!!!!!!!!!! ^V^ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Infernape: completely understandable thank you for your valuable time you pure child

Murkrow: Same as shouji and Ojiro tbh

DeezWatts: him dark, him crow, difference? Lil bit

Murkrow: but is he a crow or is he a raven

DeezWatts: don't do this to me man

Murkrow: find out on the next episode.

Chapter Text

Infernape: I just realized we didn't get an explanation for Aoyama’s name??

FrenchSparkleParty: Wh

FrenchSparkleParty: You have been deprived, mon ami!

Xenomorph: don't show him don't do it don't don't look Ojiro you'll be scarred don


DeezWatts: oh no

DeezWatts: he got Mina

Xenomorph: I die

Run™: I'm going to trust Aoyama’s maturity and assume this wasn't the official… strange video?

FrenchSparkleParty: Of course!!

Murkrow: I know better than to click on something the definition of sparkle has sent to this chat

DeezWatts: I don't let's go

Xenomorph: kamiNARI N O

BoomBoomPow: that's how you get tinnitus

Xenomorph: please this is a serious matter my good boy is in danger

Infernape: I

Infernape: I regret asking

Queerishima is no longer idle

Queerishima: why is kaminari jamming out to his headphones?

Infernape: h ow

FrenchSparkleParty: I see that some people have retained their taste in this school ;(

FrenchSparkleParty: Friendship ended with everyone else, kaminari is my new best friend now.

DeezWatts: oh helL yEaH

DeezWatts: this isn't as bad as you were making it out to be smh Mina

DeezWatts: it's a BOP

Xenomorph: he hasn't seen the video so this is excusable

BoomBoomPow: no it's not I'm disowning him

Xenomorph: it's okay kami I still love you

Xenomorph: speaking of meme music though

Xenomorph: please tell me someone else saw what happened at lunch??

Vulpix: what

Xenomorph: I'm sobbing here guys

Lesbian: I saw it

DeezWatts: tell!!!!

Xenomorph: mic was walking down the hall with a stack of papers and then his phone started blasting You Reposted In The Wrong Neighborhood and he tripped before answering

Xenomorph: his voice cracked, his face was red and he was barely holding onto his papers

Xenomorph: “hey babe”

Queerishima: fnsvsksbakna

Vulpix: isn't that like when his phone was on during English and suddenly everybody’s circulation started playing and he almost hit his head on his desk trying to silence it??

Murkrow: I can't believe Mr Yamada’s ring tones are all memes

CandyCRONCH: his basic alarm is set to all star.

CandyCRONCH: he had to time us in a catch up test after school for 15 minutes and when it finished there was a beat of silence while the music started before ‘some BODY’ blasted out and he stared in disbelief at his own phone

Xenomorph: this information is all blessed

Xenomorph: thank you for my life

DeezWatts: domo arigato mister roboto

Xenomorph: I take it back

DeezWatts: kfgsksvsksba

DeezWatts: rude :((

Xenomorph: no u

Whomst: I feel bad for snipe I keep accidentally sneaking up on him :(

Xenomorph: isn't

Xenomorph: isn't his quirk like,, tracking or something??

Pure: honing

Pure: he needs to fire something for it to work so he wouldn't know Hagakure was there unless he was aiming for her

Xenomorph: encyclopedia izuku

DeezWatts: midoriclopedia?

Whomst: fkshsksba it sounds like some kind of disease oh my god kami n o

Pure: Please No

DeezWatts: understandable, have a nice day.

Pure: I'm less of an encyclopedia than momo, she's the real Information Centre here!!

Momo: I'll take that as a compliment?

Pure: Good!!

BandaidArms: look at that pure boy

Pure: You know who else is super duper smart whom I love very very much

Whomst: w h o m s t

Xenomorph: why

Whomst: shshshshhs!!

Pure: t e n y a !

DeezWatts: gay

BoomBoomPow: gay

Whomst: gay

Xenomorph: gay

BandaidArms: gay

Queerishima: gay

Vulpix: Gay

Run™: Jdjaksbamsna

Run™: Excuse me I need to leave right now I have some important business to get to

Vulpix: he's going to midoriya’s room

Run™: Todoroki

DeezWatts: haha gay

Vulpix: I am also going to midoriya's room

Run™: Shouto

BandaidArms: gayer

Vulpix: It's very important business??


Run™ Correct.

Pure: Please

Pure: The Most Important Business

Pure: Oh no two of my favourite people in the same room as me what will I do

Run™: Izuku please

Pure: Oh no we're studying don't worry they're both smart and I love them

Vulpix: Please Izuku we can't keep doing this

Pure: Nothing Vaguely Homosexual in Nature going on here

DeezWatts: my gaydar says otherwise u liar

Pure: please sir

BandaidArms: what are you the gay police?

Vulpix: thfhsksh izUKU NO

Pure: hEWWO

Run™: Oh no..


DeezWatts: I take it Back please Stop I'll Do Anything

BandaidArms: he had the owo extension on his phone for three days and now he has war flashbacks every time

Pure: ;3c

Pure: thank you kaminari I do love seeing my boys

DeezWatts: my boyfriend hasn't come to my room in ten thousand years :(

Pure: o h n o ! ! !

Xenomorph: I'm so sorry to hear that, friendship ended with Sero

BandaidArms: I abandoned my boy,,

DeezWatts: did

DeezWatts: did you just do that to me

BandaidArms: yes I'm sorry

DeezWatts: rkwgska babe come over

BandaidArms: I can't I'm studying

DeezWatts: but babe I have the new Pokémon cards

BandaidArms is now idle

DeezWatts: this is offensive on so many levels

Xenomorph: I just realized this explains so much about sero

DeezWatts: wym?

Xenomorph: his favourite type of Pokémon are the electric ones

DeezWatts: o

DeezWatts: o h m y g od???

Queerishima is no longer idle

Queerishima: y ‘  a l l I've seen some shit and I think our homeroom teacher may want to murder me?

Lesbian is no longer idle

Lesbian: what did you D o

Space is no longer idle

Space: what did bakugou break

DeezWatts: KhfksvskabbSnal Ururaka OH MG GOD


Space: who did he break?

Queerishima: accurate question(s) but incorrect @ Space

Queerishima: however, tusyu, if you must know, I walked into the teachers office only to hear Aizawa say 'What the fuck else would be in my pouches? Nutrients?’ and then he made eye contact with me when I choked on air

Lesbian: fksgdjbam understandable

Xenomorph: omg,, what happened n ext??

Queerishima: mic whispered 'so not vodka then’ and got punched in the shoulder, snipe asked me what I needed (I needed my work from homeroom btw) and I had to waddle like a terrified penguin to aizawa’s desk to get my work from him

Queerishima: low and behold,, Aizawa and mic have matching mugs and I'm going to scream because there was some little card on his desk with grumpy cat on it and 'Happy birthday!!!’ that has a date from like a week ago

Queerishima: but it was signed with a metric shit ton of hearts??? And I'm pretty sure there was an 'i am love u u fucking meme’ written on it and before I could get a proper look Aizawa slammed his folder on it and made direct eye contact again and I think he's hired an assassin to kill me,,,

Bakugay is no longer idle

Bakugay: they can fucking try

BandaidArms is no longer idle

BandaidArms: lol gay

BandaidArms is now idle

Queerishima: I can't believe he came off idle just to call us out

Xenomorph: ur strong boyf will protec you from Aizawa assassins it's okay

Queerishima: You Are Correct

DeezWatts: he protec

Pure: but he mostly attac

Bakugay: shut the fuck up

Queerishima: babe

Bakugay: shut up

Xenomorph: WHIPPED


Xenomorph: you can't deny it bakugou

Bakugay: it's true but you shouldn't say it


Whomst: shocked, screenshotted and archived.

Lesbian: a mood

Run™ is idle

Space: okay but I'm shocked none of u are curious as to who that card was from???

Queerishima: I've looked into the eyes of death today, I don't need to ask myself (or anyone else) “Hey, who does my homeroom teacher b o n e?”

Space: KGfksvakabaka

Lesbian: why is my father slandered every time Im here this is homophobia

Queerishima: Susan most of us are gay here

Lesbian: s u SA n

Space: I can't believe you've done this

Bakugay: fight me Helen

Queerishima: (tsu I think our S/Os are fighting for our honour?)

Vulpix is idle

Xenomorph: agAIN??? THE MEMES?????

Lesbian: (I know, it's beautiful I love her)

Queerishima: (mood, but I love him. Ur gf is great though no offense)

Lesbian: (None taken your boyfriend is okay)

DeezWatts: (oGAY)

Lesbian: (no one invited you into this conversation kaminari)

Queerishima: (go be gay with your boyfriend denki smh)

DeezWatts: (fucking rude wtf we had some solid gay solidarity for like 0.03 seconds)

Xenomorph: how many times is bakugou going to meme I'm cryng

Xenomorph: but also I am 100% curious about this time to find out Whomst Does Aizawa Have The Relationship Thing With

FrenchSparkleParty: For all you know it could be someone we have never met, ma cherie!

Xenomorph: no I have money riding on this I'm positive I know who it is

FrenchSparkleParty: Care to share?~~~

Xenomorph: PM me and I'll share the betting pool stats

FrenchSparkleParty: mon dieu there's a pool,,

Xenomorph: We’re a ton of teenagers with too much time on our hands Aoyama what else am I going to do??

Run™ is no longer idle

Run™: I would like to remind you all that we do actually have a large assignment due for tomorrow as well as a practical hero studies lesson that I would prefer everyone was well rested for!


Run™: Oh dear

Run™: I can send you my notes and I am sure Yaoyorozu wouldn't be opposed to helping you if you require any more information as she has been tutoring you!

Momo: Of course!

Run™: If anyone wishes to ask for help please PM myself or Yaoyorozu, I will most likely be awake for a few more hours as I am helping Midoriya and Todoroki :)

Vulpix is no longer idle

Vulpix: I have no idea how I it happened but I was blessed with two (2) wonderful boyfriends

Pure: <3333333

Run™: <3

Pure: can I get a Fuck endeavour!!

Vulpix: fuck endeavour

Run™: Fuck Endeavour

BandaidArms is no longer idle

BandaidArms: fuck endeavour

BoomBoomPow: fuck endeavour

Momo: fuck endeavour

Queerishima: fuck endeavour

Bakugay: fuck endeavour

DeezWatts: Fuck endeavour

CandyCRONCH is no longer idle

CandyCRONCH: fuck Endeavour

Tentacruel is no longer idle

Infernape is no longer idle

Infernape: Fuck endeavour

Murkrow is no longer idle

Tentacruel: Fuck Endeavour

Murkrow: fuck endeavour

Rowlet is no longer idle

Rowlet: >:(((((( !!!!!!!!!!! X_X ← ✓✓ >:))

Infernape: you are the most precious thing?

Rowlet: U//w//U !!!!!


Murkrow: how the hell would I know he's a Shadow

DeezWatts: thaT wAS SO UNDERWHELMING????

Murkrow: he's probably a crow?

Murkrow: he's probably a crow.

Tentacruel: he has hands

Murkrow: probably a crow.

Xenomorph: or is he a pigeon,,

Murkrow: regret.

DeezWatts: Don't.

Chapter Text

DeezWatts: Y ‘ a l l h o l y F U C K

Run™: Language.

DeezWatts: sorry father???

Run™: Regret

Pure: daddy


DeezWatts: wHAT THE FUGcK

Xenomorph: foshsksja oh my gOD MIDORIYA

Queerishima: who cursed him???

Infernape: whOMSt

Vulpix: izuku please

Vulpix: you can't keep breaking our boyfriend because he's hot this isn't how relationships work

Pure: my bad I'm sorry tenya!!!!

Pure: (I don't regret anything)

Vulpix: (I know, and I love you)

Run™: Please refrain from Ever doing that Ever Again thank you for your understanding.

Pure: <3333 @ Run™

Vulpix: <3 @ Run™

Run™: Khfkabwkabakabsja


Pure: whoops,,?

Vulpix: I Z u K u

Pure: you had a part in that too!!!!!!

Vulpix: no idea what you could possibly mean

Pure: >:(

Vulpix: s h it

DeezWatts: gUys!!!!! As cute!!!!!! As you all!!! Are!!!!!!!! I have!!!!!!! N E  W S T H !!!!!!!!!!

Queerishima: oh shit

Lesbian: waddup

Space: tsu

Lesbian: it's my job?

Space: true I'm sorry

DeezWatts: truyu

Lesbian: l e a v e

DeezWatts: aaaaaaH u keep getting me off task!!!

DeezWatts: OKAY OK AY O K A Y !

DeezWatts: operation “Whomst Is It That Aizawa Does Is Has Feelings With?” Is underway

Xenomorph: operation,, wiitadihfw??

DeezWatts: I've just been calling it wii sports but okay

Xenomorph: fkhsjasgka

Xenomorph: whose man is this????

BandaidArms is no longer idle

BandaidArms: that would be mine so sorry

Xenomorph: don't apologise for him he's perfect

BoomBoomPow: sounds fake but okay

DeezWatts: no one asked for ur input jirou smh go make out with ur girlfriend

BoomBoomPow: maybe I w i l l

Lesbian: Wait jirou they're talking about the good father you need to postpone the gay

BoomBoomPow: b ut

Lesbian: It's okay I understand

Lesbian: Just get the gf over and then you have the gay, and the dad discourse.

BoomBoomPow: Absolutely genius

Lesbian: Life hack.

BoomBoomPow: @ Momo babe do you wanna come to my room and we can finish that anime?

Momo is no longer idle

Momo: Of course!!! It was quite interesting

Momo: I don't mind sitting next to you while you investigate our teacher’s cryptid of a love life either :)

BoomBoomPow: nfjsjs I love u??

Momo: I love you too jirou, I'm on my way <3

Momo is idle

BoomBoomPow: look how blessed I am with a beautiful and smart loving girlfriend oh my god,,

DeezWatts: alrighty I just shared my document w/ mina so she can give u the low down while I go retrieve my man from his detention w/ Midnight,,

BandaidArms: please I'm sneaking the best I can

DeezWatts: ily stay safe and put ur phone away I can't carry your sleeping body,,

BandaidArms: <3

DeezWatts: <33

BandaidArms is idle

DeezWatts is idle

Xenomorph: g ay

Xenomorph: anyway

Xenomorph: main suspects:

Midnight - suggested by kami on the First Day Of Mememas (this chat)

All Might (?? Shook tbh I never considered,,) - suggested by Kiri in the middle of a sparring session (I fell over)

Thirteen - suggested by uraraka (“they protec,,, him attac.” This was in the middle of a lesson???)

Mic - suggested by tsuyu in the middle of English, Mic heard and started talking about high school in english (understandable have a nice day)

Someone we don't know - aoyama (who is a good respecting boundaries boy)

FrenchSparkleParty: uwu ~~

Queerishima: all might,, is so soft n strong would u not want to be held softly in those arms

Vulpix: he hugged some of us, kirishima

Queerishima: I kNOW I MISSED OUT

Murkrow: He smells like justice.

Queerishima: fkshsksba

Tentacruel: Did my boyfriend just meme in my good server?

Queerishima: I'm cr yign s q uirtle

Space: oH mY gOd mina,, you quoted me I'm calling the police

Xenomorph: dksgskska oh my god wait wait wait wh


The Ingenium - suggested by a sleep deprived midoriya and backed up by iida’s childhood memories (thank u todoroki for the video I was blessed)

Pure: whAT


Run™: I

Vulpix: I'm sorry I betrayed you both but you were both so cute I couldn't not film it,,

Pure: (forgiven ily)

Run™: ( ^^ I suppose, seeing as I would've done the same in your position)

Pure: oh my god why would I suggest that, their fighting styles can be completely incompatible??

Run™: In a way I suppose? They get along well though.

Lesbian: Wym?

Run™: You don't know true fear until your homeroom teacher turns up at the door to your house holding your brother’s shirt and deadpanning, “Your sonic obsessed brother needs to be stopped. Please tell him Mic owes him five shots of 'something strong and green’ because I'm far too tired from dealing with them for fifteen years.” And then walking away.

Run™: It's the most unnerving thing.

Queerishima: oh my god iida,,

Xenomorph: 'sonic obsessed’ I'm wheezing

Pure: tenya i

Run™: It’s even more unnerving when you look outside to check if he's gone, see your English teacher talking to said brother in his garage only for him to literally dab and Aizawa to drop out of nowhere just to whack him in the head.


Queerishima: our teachers,,, are memes,,?

Lesbian: Correct.

DeezWatts is no longer idle

DeezWatts: gUyys iM cryiNG

BandaidArms is no longer idle


Queerishima: are you two okay??

Xenomorph: y  eah???? R u okay?????

DeezWatts: I thINK SO??


Space: what the hell happened?

DeezWatts: fksgjs oh mY gOd okay so

DeezWatts: I went to go pick up my boyfriend, my sweet beautiful boy whom I love very much

DeezWatts: and midnight keeps us behind a bit first to talk about class right

BandaidArms: and then it delved into Midnight’s Topic’s™

Xenomorph: oh n o

Vulpix: this doesn't sound good

BandaidArms: dw it's nothing like that

DeezWatts: as she's finishing off her talk, she's interrupted by this reallllllly loud thud??

DeezWatts: and ofc we're super confused but she just looked vaguely tired

Pure: a mood

Murkrow: me too

BandaidArms: and there's this beat of silence before suddenly

DeezWatts: “ SHRIMP

DeezWatts: “ HEAVEN

BandaidArms: the door bursts open, present mic has entered as if he is Shrek right at the beginning of the movie and he s c r e a m s

DeezWatts: “ N O W


FrenchSparkleParty: m o n d i e u



DeezWatts: “Please Hizashi we can't keep doing this” aNd paTs hiM on the bACK

Queerishima: I'm s creaming

BandaidArms: aNd then he sAw us and sighed softly, Mic stopped coughing and Aizawa thudded his head against mic’s shoulder pad,,


Whomst is no longer idle

Whomst: Mina is officially On The Floor

Whomst: what happened??

Lesbian: my good father(s) are being slandered again.

Whomst: Oh so nothing new then?

Lesbian: no not really.

DeezWatts: I mean you're not wrong

Queerishima: It's true but she shouldn't say it

BandaidArms: i mean,, y  es?

DeezWatts: we just,, excused ourselves and left asap but while we were leaving I heard midnight just go

DeezWatts: “You two are a joint meme package and this should upset me more than it does”

Xenomorph: it l ives

Xenomorph: I'm still taking bets for operation wii sports >:3c

BandaidArms: oh no the name caught on,,

DeezWatts: haHAHAHA M Y C R E  ATION

Xenomorph: jfc kami

Lesbian: Aizawa voice “hello police?”

Whomst: fksglaagka

Infernape: o h m y g  o d ?

Xenomorph: H E L  L O P O L I C E ?

DeezWatts: me, when present mic busts into a class room screaming a meme: “hello, police?”

BandaidArms: me when my boyfriend walks in to collect me only for midnight to start lecturing us about relationships: “hello??? Police??????”

Xenomorph: when the water is like fifty degrees too warm: “hello?????!!! Police????????!!!!!”

Pure: hewwo??? mistew powice officew??

Lesbian: I have a great number of regrets but this might just be the biggest one yet.

Murkrow: A mood up in this group chat tonight

Tentacruel: shoot a cursed idea into the chat for free 7pm emo points

Infernape: Aizawa using the owo extension.

Tentacruel: I regret

Murkrow: ojiro is the real emo in this class, I've been covering for him the whole time

Infernape: fkshskaj g uys

Tentacruel: exposed

Infernape: hello police?

Lesbian: I know I've made a mistake stop remi nd ing  m e

Space: it's okay babe ily

Xenomorph: I've updated the betting spreadsheet & publicly shared it w/ the class and ppl who want in

FrenchSparkleParty: which one is it?

Xenomorph: “very important class discussion, teacher stans don't interact”

FrenchSparkleParty: dkshska

FrenchSparkleParty: mina please

FrenchSparkleParty: now it looks even more suspicious

Xenomorph: g o o d

FrenchSparkleParty: I would hello police but the joke is being killed by this overuse

Lesbian: thank you kindly stranger

FrenchSparkleParty: you are very welcome mademoiselle~~

Pure: wait who wants in on the spreadsheet?

Xenomorph: some people from class 1-B, one of them volunteered their own homeroom teacher

Pure: blood king and a izawa

Xenomorph: ye ah???

Xenomorph: I had not considered but now I have an d now our suspect list grows

Queerishima: good good but I raise you: they're all dating. That's it. That's the end. All of them.

Xenomorph: w ill take into consideration would you like to place it as a bet

Queerishima: jfc

DeezWatts: stop trying to exploit our good boy mina

Xenomorph: >;P

Xenomorph: oH!! And a good tired purple boy wanted in as well

Xenomorph: he had a good bet I'm proud of him

Pure: shinsou?

Xenomorph: no, another good tired purple boy.

Pure: I'm going to have to ask you to s t op coming at me

Xenomorph: understandable, have a nice day

Pure: thank you for the understanding, you too

Pure: But!!! That's great!!!!!!! Do you think if we Happen To Lose A Member Of Our Class Completely By Accident maybe shinsou can join? He placed well in the sports competition and I bet Aizawa likes him

Space: we can't kill the grape bitch, izuku

Vulpix: not with that attitude

Space: todoroki n o don't encourage your boyfriend's murderous behaviours

Space: I want to do something as much as the rest of you but No Murder in my Good Comforting Server.

Run™: unfortunately

Space: teNya evEn yOu

Run™: Sorry I Mean Oh No Please Do Not Maim Or Injure Any Member Of This Classroom Izuku It's My Job To Ask You To Stop

Space: I can't trust ur gay asses to do anything right when it comes to each other smh

Space: no Murdering The Grape Bitch!!!! That's the law I'm slamming my foot down!!!!

Lesbian: I love my girlfriend let's change the topic to how gay I am for my girlfriend

BoomBoomPow: A big mood

Bakugay is no longer idle

Bakugay: same but with my fucking amazing boyfriend

Bakugay is now idle

Queerishima: ???[?!£(#(:##)jdlsak!!!!!!!!!???

Queerishima: b AB E????

Queerishima: wHat thE fuck I was blessed????

DeezWatts: we were all blessed just watching that go down

BandaidArms: ^

Pure: ^

Run™: ^

Vulpix: ^

Xenomorph: ^

Whomst: ^

Infernape: ^

Queerishima: rkshaoa gays please

Queerishima: guys

Queerishima: u kno what same thing

DeezWatts: (offside) it's true but he shouldn't say it

Queerishima: rkshbfdhs

Queerishima: I am understandably Upset and Uncomfortable at being the subject of a meme

Lesbian: How do you think I feel?

Queerishima: u right u right so sorry

Lesbian: Don't apologise

Space: you're doing amazing sweetie

Queerishima: I just got joint memed at by two of our local lesbians this is

Queerishima: s u rreal

DeezWatts: dksgjsa Aizawa just walked into the dorms he's Onto Us

Queerishima: wtf what are you all doing????

BandaidArms: uhh

Xenomorph: organising the b e t s kiri this is an important stage in my life

Queerishima: fjsksbska

Queerishima: if Aizawa catches you I'm not bailing you out

Xenomorph: understandable, you've done nothing wrong at all, your entire existence is good

DeezWatts: it's true and she should say it

Queerishima: gUYs

BandaidArms: gay

BandaidArms: and cute, but Aizawa is actually headed towards you I think he Knows

Xenomorph: oh fuck

Xenomorph is idle

Whomst: hello police??

Lesbian: When will it end.

Chapter Text

Shamwow: @ everyone whoever knew my children had a spreadsheet betting on who I was in a romantic relationship with is officially dead to me and they can no longer interact with anything I do

Banoodle: your ,,, children?

Shamwow: get out my house

Chloroform: Fuck

Shamwow: disgusting, blocked and reported.

Chloroform: w ait sh outa n o !

Chloroform: why does my need to be involved in bets hurt my friendships this way

Sonic: idk midnight maybe it's bc you intrude on people's personal lives

Chloroform: impossible, Hizashi does this daily to so many people and they still like him

Banoodle: that's because I'm likeable nemuri


Chloroform: meet me in the fucking PIT, MICHAEL

Banoodle: @ shamwow hold my speaker babe

Shamwow: I'm sorry who

Banoodle: this is why we can't interact like your kids do

Banoodle: look watch this

Banoodle: @ sonic hold my speaker bro

Sonic: bro I'll hold your speaker so fucking hard

Banoodle: god thank u bro no homo

Sonic: bro,,,

Sonic: u meme so much to me bro

Banoodle: bro u too ily bro

Sonic: b R o

Shamwow: I don't understand this meme and at this point I'm too afraid to ask

Banoodle: bR O???

Sonic: B R O

Chloroform: you two literally walked into my classroom memeing why is this a revelation to you two?

McFUCK: wait

Chloroform: waiting

Banoodle: whomst


Banoodle: can we change snipe’s name to whomst????

Shamwow: no, hagakure already did it and I don't want to mix the two channels up because I've come close to it already and I don't feel like accidently sending 'fuck me gently with a cactus do I hate Mondays (mic don't interact I know what you'll fucking say)’ into their channel

Banoodle: diggity darn

McFUCK: not in my American server

Shamwow: don't summon all might in my home

Mr.Muscle is no longer idle

Shamwow: fuck

Mr.Muscle: Hello!!!

Chloroform: heya

Shamwow: welcome to fucking hell

Banoodle: what were u going to say @ McFUCK

McFUCK: I lost my train of thought

Chloroform: damn,,, my waiting,,

McFUCK: sorry midnight

Chloroform: smh I wait so well for this and I dont even get it, disgusting, blocked, reported.

McFUCK: Don't turn this into a 18+ only hero joke,, plea se,,

Chloroform: god fuckin dammit

Chloroform: Emi would appreciate it :(

Sonic: emi isn't here

Shamwow: thank god

Chloroform: I speak for emi when I say: I'm being a t  t a c k e d ?

Banoodle: no u forgot the part where she suggests marriage

Shamwow: I didn't come here for this I came here to shame whoever knew about this fucking spreadsheet

Mr.Muscle: Oh!!!! I thought that it looked rather strange

Mr.Muscle: Especially the name

Mr.Muscle: your students are not very good at being subtle

Shamwow: god do I know

Shamwow: mic caught kaminari kissing sero and when kaminari walked into my classroom he had tape across his back and everyone noticed but him

Chloroform: bakugou literally has little hand explosions whenever kirishima even vaguely glances his way in a caring manner

Oh?Vacuum?: It's adorable though

Banoodle: nemuri you can write 'glances at him in a Gay Way’ it's fine we all know

Chloroform: I'm being considerate

Shamwow: sounds fake but okay

Banoodle: ^^

Sonic: ^^

Chloroform: proof?

Shamwow: you are a literal sadist

Chloroform: understandable have a great day

Shamwow: don't tell me what to do

Chloroform: [suggestion] you could have a great day(?)

Shamwow: thank you I will take it into consideration

Mr.Muscle: are you alright?

Shamwow: it has been scientifically proven that I am in fact,,,, not

Banoodle: Oh, Mood?

Chloroform: you're both the problematic favourites of this friend group

Banoodle: that's fair

Shamwow: it was inevitable

Sonic: fill me in why is Hizashi a problematic fave and why is he proven to be scientifically not okay

Sonic: I have been Busy™ Pimping My Ride™ so I can Zoom™

Banoodle: two of my closest friends almost died this year, within a short time span because some wild shit is happening and both of them are self sacrificial assholes

Chloroform: oh, mood?

Sonic: nevermind I'm not dredging up this memory

Banoodle: thank u kind sir

Shamwow: @ everyone a PSA if u catch my class today please inform them they all have Detention after school

Shamwow: I entered the dorm and they actually all scattered like cockroaches

Banoodle: likE WHAT

Shamwow: Hizashi for fucks sake they're just bugs

Banoodle: just bugs who could survive nuclear warfARE SHOUTA

Shamwow: Hizashi you jumped on my back because you saw a household spider on the floor

Banoodle: too many legs and eyes, two of each maximum or go home

Sonic: disgusting this is 2+ limb erasure

Shamwow: I can't believe you're just abandoning shouji and ojiro like this

Chloroform: quick questions does dark shadow count as a limb

Shamwow: i

Shamwow: don't??

Shamwow: either way Hizashi is disowning children he's not allowed to disown

Banoodle: they hAVe tWO EYES

Sonic: make up ur mind

Oh? Vacuum: like five of your students ran all the way to the general education block??

Shamwow: fools

Shamwow: they think I'll be deterred because they're hiding behind the Purple One

Banoodle: u thunk w r u n g

Banoodle: also I'm coming with you because you scared me into seeing bugs everywhere

Shamwow: you're terrible sometimes Hizashi

Banoodle: you are terrified of dogs

Shamwow: I am n ot

Shamwow: I just,, am not the Fondest of them

Shamwow: cats are just better

Oh? Vacuum?: Both of them tear my suit :(

Oh? Vacuum?: Also I'm terrified they'll pull one of the caps off my fingers :((

Shamwow: you can visit my cats they're very tired all the time (mood) so they won't try to pull anything

Shamwow: I usually have to be careful with my caltrops but they're very calm so they won't do anything

Oh?Vacuum?: Really???!! Holy!!!! Shit!!!!!!!

Oh?Vacuum?: Of course! :DDD

Banoodle: owo what's this?

Sonic: Aizawa,, showing kindness???

Chloroform: absolutely disgusting,, unheard of

Mr.Muscle: I do not think that's correct…

Banoodle: fkshsksba

Sonic: yaGi

Chloroform: stay pure,,, please

Banoodle: dw it's how we tease eachother


Chloroform: oH BOY

Sonic: bEANS

Banoodle: what????

Sonic: as in spill the beans??

Banoodle: why couldn't you have just said spill the beans

Sonic: because fuck you that's why

Banoodle: u had the opportunity in highschool and u didn't take it so,,,

Shamwow: get out of my good pure server, filthy, disgusting, never interact with me ever again

PebbleSkip: I can't believe you've done this

Fangboi: why do you all find it necessary to do this

Shamwow: because my class are all memes and I have nothing better to do than disown my closest friends

Fangboi: class 1-B is going to catch up to you if you're not careful, you shouldn't treat this like a game

Shamwow: Oh, I'm not treating it like a game. If I were treating it like a game you wouldn't even have any hope of winning this :)

Shamwow: have you SEEN my class this year Kan :))

Shamwow: they've been through some shit and so have I : )

Shamwow: fight me helen

Fangboi: put your hands up Patricia it's about time we start some shit

Banoodle: put your hands up (radio)

Fangboi: listen here,, Jennifer,,,

Banoodle: suburban white mom fight, teacher edition

Sonic: rt if you would buy the FUCK out of that video game

Oh? Vacuum?: RT

Chloroform: rt


PebbleSkip: rt

RuhRoh: rt

Shamwow: RT

TCrews: rt

Fangboi: Rt

Mr.Muscle: someone is going to have to fill me in on memes at some point.

Chloroform: wAit gUys SnIpe wAs tRyIng To sPeak

McFUCK: it's aight because I'm a background character but anyway

McFUCK: I forgot again bc y'all are scarily amusin

Chloroform: fucking shit

Chloroform: u know what fuck it let's just bounce to another topic entirely

Chloroform: remember when shouta said 'youre all vultures’ at the media that one time

Banoodle: fksvsksvskabam

Banoodle: o h m y g  o d y e ah

Shamwow: I need to stop doing things while sleep deprived

Banoodle: but why it's so much fun to watch


Shamwow: updating my hit list one second

Banoodle: hit me with that gay shit

Shamwow: why

Banoodle: b e c a use

Banoodle: b R O

Shamwow: no I'm out this is too much I don't need Hizashi and Tensei imitating that one Craig guy from the dating simulator


Oh? Vacuum?: Big rumor come out, does Aizawa is know meme?


Sonic: STOP



Shamwow: on the topic of kin drama

Chloroform: fkrgKFGAKSVSK

Shamwow: Hizashi is that one seagull meme


Oh?Vacuum?: which one though

Sonic: this one probably

Chloroform: ur nOT WRONG

Fangboi: I always forgot how disappointed I am in humanity for the fact this chat exists

Shamwow: oh, worm?

Banoodle: tfw Eraserhead doesn't go to the hospital after his rounds even though he's hurt

Shamwow: we’re calling you out not me

Banoodle: oh how the turn tables

Shamwow: don't you do that to me in my own good home

Banoodle: too late

Chloroform: are u two fighting again

Chloroform: boys that's not how you kiss

Sonic: fksglaab

Banoodle: I'm still trying to get to the roof btw


Chloroform: he fucking dead




Cryptid is no longer idle

Cryptid: I hope you all are not discussing something inappropriate?


Shamwow: unlikely?


Shamwow: Hizashi has gone to shout 'tensei is Craig from dream daddy’ off the roof



Cryptid: Oh yes, I see it now! Have a nice time :^D


Cryptid is now idle

Sonic: fksvsksvskabam

Banoodle: I wAS haNdEd a riGHT

Chloroform: I was too scared to breathe


Chloroform: are you alright there?

McFUCK: he,,

Chloroform: him?

McFUCK: repeat what he said first quickly,,

Chloroform: “I hope you all are not discussing something inappropriate?”

Sonic: oH nO

Oh? Vacuum?:  You All Are Not

McFUCK: Y ‘ A I N ‘ T

Mr.Muscle: y'all'd've'f'ld've

Chloroform: omw to knock u all out

Sonic: hewwo????? POWICE????

Shamwow: o U T


Chloroform: oh no

Sonic: oh no

Shamwow: oh n o

Banoodle: O H Y E A H ! ! !

Chapter Text

We let kaminari go to krispy kremes? Mistake. channel

BoomBoomPow: so

BoomBoomPow: who else just watched present mic kool aid man scream from the top of the roof?

Rowlet: ;~; !! ;A;

Infernape: I'm sure he will be fine!! He's,, kind of just gesturing wildly right now?

Murkrow: he's done this far too many times already

Tentacruel: Agreed

FrenchSparkleParty: First our exams and now this

FrenchSparkleParty: when will my father return from the scream wars

BoomBoomPow: mood??

Momo: o h !

Momo: Ingenium just nyoomed past me?

Run™: Oh No

BoomBoomPow: sounds like meme fuckery

Momo: Likely

BoomBoomPow: good

Pure: wait he's talking!!!


Run™: I hate this song


Run™: I

Pure: t enya,,,

Vulpix: babe is there something ur not telling us

Run™: I

Run™: It’s

Run™: It's true but he shouldn't say it

BoomBoomPow: ingenium literally just shouted that at him i

Pure: I love this song

Vulpix: me @ my boyfriends existences

BoomBoomPow: oh, worm?

Momo: fksbskava


Run™: Please,,

Run™ is now idle

BoomBoomPow: Aizawa’s capture weapon just appeared from the edge of the roof, wrapped around Yamada and dragged him back

BoomBoomPow is now idle

FrenchSparkleParty is now idle

Momo is now idle

Tentacruel: there is a lot of high pitched yelling

Murkrow: mood

CandyCRONCH is no longer idle

CandyCRONCH: Okay the roof is no longer the safe place to eat food

CandyCRONCH: Mental image? Do not want? Invest in Mind Bleach? Yes.

Tentacruel: Yes?

Murkrow: to which of the above

CandyCRONCH: yes

Rowlet: -_- ^^ ;//^//;

Infernape: tksgskso ko u d a!!

Rowlet: ;;3

Rowlet: >:0,, / °w° \

Infernape: we aren't sitting on the roof to try and get intel for mina kouda

Pure is now idle

Rowlet: :/

Infernape: don't

Rowlet: >:/

Infernape: fjsvska okay fine

Rowlet: :DDD !!!! <3 !!

Infernape: yes you are adorable we(clap)get(clap)it(clap)

DeezWatts: one eight hundred are u clappin

Infernape: stop I just want to eat lunch with my pokésquad

Murkrow: nice.

Murkrow: @ tentacruel can I use you as a light shield?

Tentacruel: Of course?

Murkrow: nice I'm coming to the roof

Infernape: I take it back don't come don't coME THERE ARE TEACHERS D O N

Infernape is now idle

Rowlet: ;A; !!!!!!!!

CandyCRONCH: oh boy

CandyCRONCH is now idle

DeezWatts: ojiro

DeezWatts: ojirooooo?

DeezWatts: oh my fucking god he fuckIng dead

Rowlet: ;;;;A;;;;; ??!?!?!!!

Murkrow: we're on our way kouda sit tight

Rowlet: ^A^!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33

Tentacruel: You are a beautiful bean and we love you but don't die please,,

Rowlet is now idle

Murkrow: son,,,

Tentacruel is now idle

Murkrow: oh, mood?

Murkrow is now idle

BandaidArms: wait did denki just vine in my house

Xenomorph: have some fucking respect for the deceased denki

DeezWatts: the pokésquad or vine?

Bakugay is no longer idle

Bakugay: both you fucking heathen

DeezWatts: brkasvafhakab

Xenomorph: bakubro u bitch

Xenomorph: I haven't seen you all day?????

Bakugay: I'm being a good boyfriend.

Xenomorph: sounds fake but okay

Bakugay: fuck you

Xenomorph: not my department

DeezWatts: not here,,,

Xenomorph: ur right I'm so sorry

DeezWatts: accepted

DeezWatts: but not bakubaku's explanation *eyes meoji*

Xenomorph: eyes meijo

DeezWatts: (shhhh)

Bakugay: eijirou hasn't been feeling so good so I fucking watched shark boy and lava girl with him alright

Xenomorph: sounds gay

Bakugay: have you seen my fucking name mina


DeezWatts: holY SHIT

Bakugay: shut the fuck up racoon eyes

Xenomorph: never forget :’)

BandaidArms: what's wrong with Kiri?

Bakugay: the usual shitty fucking self doubt that plagues literally all nineteen of us

Pure is no longer idle

Pure: oh, big mood?

Pure is now idle

Xenomorph: he came off idle just to invest in the mood

BandaidArms: mood

DeezWatts: m y b o y  ?

BandaidArms: does he require a bakusquad hug

Bakugay: if you come into my fucking room I'm going to rip all the tape out your elbows

BandaidArms: oof

Bakugay has changed Queerishima ’s name to Cutieshima

Cutieshima is no longer idle

Cutieshima: aw babe,, please,,

Bakugou: I fucking love you shithead

Cutieshima: fksgsksgkssgkaba!!! <3333

Cutieshima: we don't match anymore,,

Bakugay: that's fine your name is accurate

Cutieshima: aaAAAAAAA

Cutieshima has changed Bakugay 's name to Bakuslay

DeezWatts: is it murder? Is it fierceness? We'll never know

Xenomorph: maybe he's born with it

BandaidArms: maybe it's Slaybelline

Cutieshima: aldgelagdkwn

Cutieshima: this isn't what I intended but I'm happy either way

Cutieshima: katsuki has shut down and has his face buried in a pillow I love him so much?

DeezWatts: haha gay

BandaidArms: babe

DeezWatts: I kNOW

Xenomorph: gay.

BandaidArms: mina,,

Xenomorph: akdhkavdnw u R ight,,

Whomst: damn bitch you live like this?

Xenomorph: where dID U EVEN COME FROM

Whomst: that's what snipe said

Whomst: I've been online for hours

Whomst: U know my status is always on ’invisible’ I'm here for the m eme mina,,

Xenomorph: understandable

DeezWatts: commitment.

Whomst: thank u

Whomst: whomstever the fuck just knocked on my door is in for a suprise when they see I've got a face mask on, bbl time to scare someone that isnt snipe for once

Whomst is now idle

Xenomorph: dang I was going to ask about getting more info for me on the spreadsheet

Xenomorph: also who the fuck ran to the general ed block when Aizawa walked in??

Pure is no longer idle

Pure: me, tenya, Shouto, ojiro, aoyama

Pure: but then ojiro and aoyama went to help with the roof incident half way through

Pure: there's a very good route to the main entrance from general ed

Xenomorph: interesting,,,

Pure: I've made a terrible mistake

Pure: You shouldn't have been given that information

Xenomorph: :3333c

Pure: Oh no

Whomst is no longer idle

Whomst: it was kendou from 1-b

Whomst: apparently blood king just sighed really loudly, rubbed his temples and whispered 'i hate this fucking family’

Run™ is no longer idle

Run™: I apologise for my absence, my brother was making poor life decisions.

Run™: Shouto was taking pictures.

Vulpix is no longer idle

Vulpix: I've been called out and I'm not even mad

Vulpix: Mr Aizawa can lift present mic over his head

Pure: Mr Aizawa deadlifted me out of the water in the USJ The Time It Went Right with one arm using his capture weapon

DeezWatts: I'm gay

BandaidArms: a huge mood

Pure: my goal in life is to be able to lift my boyfriends as easily as Aizawa lifts his

Xenomorph: EXCYSE ME

Pure: they're dating now I don't care about your spreadsheet


Whomst: excuse the fuck out of m E present mic is not dating Aizawa???????

Pure: Proof??

Whomst: have seen him held by all might more times then have seen him held by mic??

Pure: That's not proof!!!

Run™: Oh dear.

Whomst: iT IS TOO????

Pure: No????

Run™: You can always just

Run™: Ask them?





Whomst: are you I n s a ne???

Xenomorph: you don't just ASK Aizawa who he's dating????

DeezWatts: I bet you could ask the other one though



Xenomorph: he's fucking right

Pure: Kaminari? Correct? Shocking.

DeezWatts: mIDORIYA??????



Vulpix: fr though why have you guys never just asked mic or all might?? Or anyone???

Bakuslay: midnight it is.

Bakuslay has added Chloroform to the chat


Bakuslay: it's better you fu ckn ig don't know,,

Cutieshima: that's fair

Chloroform: Oh goodie what do we have here?


Xenomorph: deNKI

BandaidArms: I can't believe my boyfriend is fucking dead?

Chloroform: dkhdkavskab

Chloroform: I think the h E c c n o t !

Chloroform: ur homeroom teacher is like my brother please don't do this to me,,

DeezWatts: understandable have a nice day mom

Chloroform: when the fuck did I become this class’s mother

Chloroform: I mean shit

Chloroform: dammit


Pure: fkshfjlashlabskaka

Vulpix: I can't believe our mom fucking swore

Chloroform: I owe mic and ingen so much money e wugh

DeezWatts: eWUGH

Whomst: oh no

Chloroform: I'm so sorry

Whomst: not again,,

Chloroform: im leaving before shouta busts my ass for ruining his kids

Chloroform is now idle

Pure: 'his kids’

Vulpix: I can't believe Aizawa has adopted all nineteen of us plus Shinsou

Lesbian: You better believe it B i t  c h

Xenomorph: we can strike midnight off the list though???

Whomst: a hollow victory

DeezWatts: me, upon seeing himst whomst shallnt noth be namedth: ewugh

Whomst: nvm it's a mood

BandaidArms: hello police?

Space: kewwo powice

Space: *hewwo

Lesbian: no it's too late now

Space: babe please

Lesbian has changed their name to Kewwo

Space: b a be

Xenomorph: midoriya add all might we're checking this out

Xenomorph: whoever has mics contact get it in here

Whomst: I'll get kendou to ask 1-B’s dad teacher™

Xenomorph: n ice

Xenomorph: wait we all have thirteens contact what are we doing

Xenomorph has added Oh?Vacuum? to the chat

Oh?Vacuum?: Oh no

Oh?Vacuum?: Midnight wasn't joking

Xenomorph: r u dating our homeroom dad teacher

Oh?Vacuum?: Hahahahahaha

Oh?Vacuum?: No.

Oh?Vacuum?: This is also incredibly intrusive and if Aizawa does not wish for you to know then you should not be snooping!!

Xenomorph: thank u parental unit #5

Oh?Vacuum?: Too many

Vulpix: *not enough

Whomst: “YaoiHands: bloodking just deadass stared at me for a full two minutes before squinting and going 'Oh. You were serious. No. Not at all. Definitely not.’ I can't believe my dad did this to me”


Oh?Vacuum?: Sigh

Oh?Vacuum? is now idle

Pure has added Mr.Muscle to the chat

DeezWatts: this is already a cursed conversation

Mr.Muscle: Hello!! Is there anything I can do to help you?


Mr.Muscle: wh

Mr.Muscle: Oh, this is why thirteen is staring out the window..

Mr.Muscle: It's not my place to say!! It is his own life :D

Xenomorph: ur a blessing but this wasn't helpful are you within the bone zone

Mr.Muscle: Wow!! That goes right on the list of things I never wanted to hear from a student ever!!! Thanks!! I hate it!!!

Mr.Muscle is now idle

Xenomorph: that's a n o

Pure: I'm crying why did you hurt my father like this

Kewwo: some men, just want to watch the world burn.

DeezWatts: is everyone going to ignore that all might just memed?

DeezWatts: THE symbol of peace?

Pure: yes

Kewwo: yes

Cutieshima: yep

Whomst: yes

Bakuslay: Yes

Xenomorph: yes

Vulpix: no

Run™: I've seen too much to be shocked

Pure: I'm sorry <33

Vulpix: our poor boyfriend,, <3

Run™: fnsvakau

BandaidArms: Iida machine broke

Kewwo has added Banoodle to the chat

Banoodle: What is UP my dearest listeners?!!

Xenomorph: operation wI I S P O RTS

Banoodle: not to be rude but hEy whAt the FU cK?? ?

Xenomorph: excused, whomst is the Aizawa cryptid in a relationship with

Banoodle: dlshslsbak

Banoodle: a s h i s,, be s t f r ie nd,,, I am,,, sw o r n,, t o se c rec y,,, apo lo g ies,,,

Xenomorph: akrgskajaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

Banoodle: Oh, big Mood?

Banoodle: heads up I just got a message from Aizawa that just says 'i lived bitch’ and its a blurry picture of the general ed block


Banoodle: wow looks like my cryptid typing is infectious

Chloroform is no longer idle

Chloroform: you just @’ed the teachers in this channel too hun

Xenomorph: shit

Chapter Text


Class 1-A machine BROKE -PM channel


Shamwow: Hello naughty children it's Murder Time

Banoodle: you wouldn't.

Shamwow: I don't come here to be called out zashi

Banoodle: I do please call me out

Chloroform: I can't believe mic is a masochist

Sonic: I can have you seen that pathetic mustache he is ASKING to be insulted

Banoodle: oo insult me harder tensei

Shamwow: Get Out Of My House This Instant

Banoodle: nfvsksgsla

Banoodle: b a b E

Shamwow: Leave

Sonic: I can't believe uve done this shouta babe

Shamwow: these aren't my friends I don't know these people

Sonic: ba aa a a a a ab e

Shamwow: Iida Tensei? Who??? I only know Iida Tenya, my fifteen year old student, he does not have an elder brother the same age as me who is supposed to be a distinguished hero.

Banoodle: babe :(

Shamwow: my name isn't Eraserhead because someone next to me in class suggested it and I said sure, it's because I am clearly very imaginative, I didn't even sit next to anyone in highschool, what is a yamada?

Banoodle: shot through the heart

Sonic: and you're to blame

Banoodle: you give l ove

Sonic: a b a d n a m e

Banoodle: loud guitar noises

Chloroform: did you mean, Yamada's constant voice?


Sonic: that's a call post if I ever did see one

PebbleSkip: your students are escaping

Shamwow: FUCK


Banoodle: iT WASNT JUST M E????

Sonic: SN I T C H ?


Shamwow: ne MurI ,,

Banoodle: It's true but she shouldn't say it

Chloroform: I'm saying it

Chloroform: @all AIZAWA IS A HUGE DAD

PebbleSkip: common knowledge

Fangboi: homeroom teachers adopt their kids this is how homeroom works nemuri

Sonic: fksgjs it sounds like ur saying he is a large father

Chloroform: wai T

Chloroform: nOT phYSically,, he is a TWIG compared to our other resident huge dad All Might™

Shamwow: E xcuse me

Mr.Muscle: Why did you bring me into this

Chloroform: sorry it's just the truth

Shamwow: what the FUCK is up Kyle, no what did you say dude, what the FUCK dude, step the FUCK up kyle

Mr.Muscle: I

Shamwow: Student hunt cancelled, teacher fight scheduled.

Shamwow: meet me in the pit in five minutes

Shamwow is now idle

Mr.Muscle: What the fuck just happened

Mr.Muscle: I don't understand any of this

Sonic: HIM S W O R E !

Banoodle: D I S G U S T ?

Oh?Vacuum?: All Might disgraced in the face of tragedy

Chloroform: @ Mr.Muscle quick question - can Aizawa lift u

Mr.Muscle: probably

Banoodle: breathes softly

Banoodle: damn bitch you live like this?

Sonic: m ood

Chloroform: @ Shamwow I take it back I'm sorry shouta

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: Logical decision.

Chloroform: you mention logic so much you probably have a thing for it smh

Shamwow: Huh, guess I Am fighting someone today

Chloroform: I died for a good cause

Chloroform: emi would be proud of me,,

Sonic: damn bich,,, u ever stop talking about ur girlfriend

Chloroform: damn bich u ever stop talking about ur brother?

Sonic: rjsvsksgis u right u r ight,,

McFUCK: w ait when did nemuri get with emi??

Chloroform: like a year ago?

Chloroform: for a guy with a honing quirk you aren't very observant

McFUCK: don't call me out like this nemuri

Oh?Vacuum?: Snipe,, Kayama has literally been sending her hearts all day.

Chloroform: I don't know if that's a call out for me or for snipe

Oh?Vacuum?: Both.

McFUCK: wait is this why nedzu 'boi’ handed at you during lunch

Chloroform: m a ybe,,,,

Banoodle: that's g ay nemuri



Chloroform: wE ALL HEAR YOU, ON LIVE RADIO 'Damn bitch, you love me like this?’

Sonic: called out

Sonic: the highest call out

Sonic: huge call out.

Sonic: huge mood

Oh?Vacuum?: Oh? Huge mood? Worm mood?

Banoodle: O H ,  woRM M O O D ?

Shamwow: Hizashi you jumped from our call out to that meme surprisingly fast considering you usually stick around for the ridiculing

Banoodle: oof ow ouch my heart?

Banoodle: babe why

Shamwow: I hate this song

Banoodle: well that's too bad because iiiii LOVE it!!!!

Sonic: oh, worm mood?

Fangboi: please

Chloroform: it's too late we're on the train out of ridicule land and into the memes

PebbleSkip: I didn't book a ticket for this trip

Chloroform: b U C K L E THE F U C K   UP

PebbleSkip: Your seatbelts are not regulation I need to stop the train ma’am

Chloroform: C H O O C H O O

PebbleSkip: M A ‘ A M P L E A S E

Oh?Vacuum?: Me during USJ The Time Where We Should've Brought Chapstick

Shamwow: oh, worm mood?

Fangboi: it's dEad let the meme die

Shamwow: death is not the correct response to a mention of The Time Where We Should've Brought Chapstick To The USJ

Fangboi: each of you is dead to me

PebbleSkip: I reiterate, common knowledge

Sonic: jokes on you I forgot what reiterate means

PebbleSkip: I'm not even an English teacher and I'm disappointed in you

Fangboi: I am

Sonic: I'm used to it it's okay

Banoodle: dw cementoss I'll be disappointed in him for you

PebbleSkip: Oh, Joy

Chloroform: I feel like Ishiyama and Kan are our long suffering parents

Sonic: all might is the uncle who was away for a while and he's back now with Love And Support

Banoodle: fhsksvskava

Fangboi: working with even two of you has added fifty years and at this point I'm too tired to worry about that

Cementoss: same

Chloroform: a same?? In this worm mood server?? cryptid sighted

Banoodle: she says, watching Aizawa dart across the hall to get to his homeroom because he has realised his students are using it to barricade themselves

Chloroform: yoURE NOT WRONG

Shamwow: hahaha surprise

Shamwow: b it c h e s

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle: I'm going to wait outside like a sane person while he lectures his children

Chloroform: oh, worm mood?

Fangboi: please nemuri

Sonic: we can't keep doing this?

Fangboi: stop

Fangboi: I hate this fucking household


Dad get out of my room we're just betting on your s/o channel




Whomst: brb stripping to hide my identity

Infernape: tooru please you can't keep doing this

Whomst: as my best gay friend you should support me here

Infernape: kdgskVsksvaksb

Whomst is now idle

Infernape: toORU PLEASE

Infernape: I can't stop her

Xenomorph: what's the mood rn boys

Cutieshima: fear

Space: oh,, worm???

Xenomorph: more relatable please

Cutieshima: gay fear

Xenomorph: ah yes good thank you

DeezWatts: I'm cryign I want my m om

DeezWatts: my mom being midnight I can hear her outside,, please mother end this @ Chloroform

Chloroform: I'm so sorry son

Chloroform: but my boy is on a war path

DeezWatts: I spent my whole life with the respect women juices and this is how my own mother repays me

BoomBoomPow: wORM??

BoomBoomPow: I drank so much respect women juice I turned GAY mom

BoomBoomPow: my gf is in this room let her lEAVE

Chloroform: mistake #1, never have your girlfriend in the same room as you if you've made a Mistake™

Chloroform: I learned,, from a similar experience

Chloroform: (a note, do not,, steal,,,, Aizawa's sleeping bag he comes after you aNd your girlfriend)

BoomBoomPow: whY WoULD YOU S T E AL THAT????

Chloroform: I live on the edge

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: the edge of s tupidity nemuri even I know not to do that

Chloroform: stfu you're actually smart

Banoodle: I'm being exposed

Banoodle: ur smart too

Chloroform: bitch you know what I meant?

Banoodle: h e h E H e h  E

Chloroform: I hate this

Run™ has added Sonic to the chat

Sonic: nemuri u won't respond on main so now I have to come into my brother's channel this is desecration

Cutieshima: this is surreal

Cutieshima: 'u won't respond on main’

Sonic: or the our side hoe chat, or our gay squad chat, or the one where we discuss important things like how to get people together which has been inactive since,, years

Chloroform: did you @ me in all those chats

Sonic: only a little bit ;3c

Run™: Brother please

Xenomorph: y’all what if we just trick Aizawa into entering the chat u think he'll be so embarrassed he exposes himself

Banoodle: unlikely but I'd like to see it

DeezWatts: mood

Xenomorph: tksvsksva

Whomst is no longer idle

Whomst: Mina cackled so I'm assuming we’re plotting™

Xenomorph: correct

Xenomorph: all in favour of getting Aizawa into this cursed channel say I

Cutieshima: tbh you just need him to come off idle, I had to use his permissions to make the channel for us and he's our Sof dad so he caved

Xenomorph: okay say I for that then

DeezWatts: I

Banoodle: I

BandaidArms: I???

Whomst: hekity yeah i

Cutieshima: we, are already d e a d

Cutieshima: I

Infernape: I can't believe you've done this kirishima

Chloroform: just assume everyone is saying I

Xenomorph: good call

Xenomorph: okay we need to change the channel name to whatever the teachers is right now

Chloroform: uHHH

Banoodle: fucj


Sonic has changed the chat name to Class 1-A machine BROKE -PM

Xenomorph: I

Banoodle: I promise I didn't write that

Whomst: ur promises mean nothing to me,,

Cutieshima: b E t rayed

DeezWatts: it's true but he should say it

BoomBoomPow: why did you sign the name of the channel??


Chloroform: im crying

Banoodle: w e  u   h h H H h H

Banoodle: this one time,,, we had,,,,,, a  stupid name and we spent,,,,,, five months,,,,,,,,, figuring out,,,,,,,,, who wrote it,,,,,?

Sonic: the name was “id let shadow the hedgehog rawr me”

Xenomorph: hWAt

Whomst: I need new parental figures

DeezWatts: big mood

Chloroform: people said it was Aizawa and he was M A D  

Sonic: spoiler it was me and I wasn't even IN the group chat I had stolen Yamada’s phone to do it that one out of fifteen million times he visited me

Banoodle: they blAmeD mE FOR SO LONG

Chloroform: irnbdkaNFHSMA



Chloroform: the morale of the story is; everyone has to sign whatever they change the chat name to otherwise their message gets pINNED, NAMED AND S H A M E D

Xenomorph: oKay,,, moving on,,?

Banoodle: please I can't stand the memory

Xenomorph: someone at him w/ something they'd usually saYo h dhiT HES COMING IN THE ROOM FUCKTBSKSA

Banoodle: oh g od

Chloroform: they're all dead that's it that's the end

Sonic: are you two not standing outside???

Banoodle: oh yeah but I'm not risking my ass in there

Chloroform: fskhska I can see them through the crack in the door he's lecturing them

Banoodle: @ Shamwow babe wyd

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: s top

Shamwow: im attempting to l ecture but I'm pretty sure they're simultaneously not listening to me and listening at the same time it's a little surreal can someone come in or something im tired and bored and honestly just fulfilling my role as their terrible father figure in this household

Shamwow: they're now snickeri





Shamwow: oh for fucks sake

Chapter Text

DeezWatts: jfgaksgs okay since we've all got our phones back after they were taken from us five hours ago,,, let's,,, discuss

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: Yes let's

Shamwow is no longer idle

Sonic is no longer idle

Shamwow: let's not

Xenomorph: I'm crying, Mr Aizawa’s name,,, is,, shamwow,,,,

Chloroform is no longer idle

Oh?Vacuum? is no longer idle

Shamwow: I lost all my pride years ago

Chloroform: we can tell

Shamwow: hey

Shamwow: fuck you

Banoodle: please

Chloroform: guys

Xenomorph: u sure

Chloroform: *gays

Whomst: better

DeezWatts: *gently but with a lot of feeling* fuck you

Banoodle: it's true but he shouldn't say it

BandaidArms: a large mood

Oh?Vacuum?: Same worm, large mood

BandaidArms: what

Oh?Vacuum: What

Banoodle: w h a t

Chloroform: gay

Shamwow: correct answer you get a mark

Chloroform: a single mark

Shamwow: it's the best you're going to get in my class

DeezWatts: me, crying: he's not wrong

Xenomorph: fkgsksvs me too denki me too,,

Cutieshima: if the bakusquad studies together,,, bakugou can teach us

Bakuslay: I'm not teaching you all shit

Cutieshima: but b a a a a a  a be

Bakuslay: I hate this fucking family

Shamwow: a mood if I ever did read one

Xenomorph: aizawa memeing should be surreal but after the shrimp heaven incident it's not vaguely shocking anymore

Banoodle: damn you live like this?

Shamwow: how

Banoodle: badly

Shamwow: mmgh

Banoodle: me too bitch the f u c k

Chloroform: I'll knock you both out

Xenomorph: how does it even feel to be knocked out by midnight??

BandaidArms: don't ask

BoomBoomPow: my gay ass would like to know though,,

Sonic: like the meme

BoomBoomPow: which,,,, one,,?

Banoodle: how it feels to chew five gum

Shamwow: aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHH

Pure: oh that's a big mood

Banoodle: a large screaming mood

Chloroform: cannot relate

Banoodle: disgusting

Banoodle: if you cannot scream, you are not my friend

Sonic: he's right

Chloroform: dammit

Chloroform: guess i’m just shouta's friend now

Shamwow: who

Chloroform: rude

Shamwow: sorry, all I know about you is that your hero name is 'twelve AM in the morning’

Chloroform: this is a deep and personal attack


Xenomorph: new hero names for everyone

Tentacruel: I love modern literature with pebbleskip

Chloroform: oh sweetheart,,

Banoodle: that's actually his name on this client

Tentacruel: fjhsMvflsvsKRGSOA

Murkrow: I'm weEPING

Rowlet: =͟͟͞͞( •̀д•́)))

DeezWatts: Foundational hero studies with “Y'all'd've'f'ld've Might’ve”

Shamwow: oh my g o d

Space: Mm yes my favourite English teacher, the voice hero, 'longest yeah boi ever’

Banoodle: kfvsksvsksvaka

Run™: A crowd pleaser, the turbo hero, 'Naruto-arms Sonic-legs’

Sonic: my own brother??????

Kewwo: Homeroom, now even more fun with the erasure hero “Tipex”!

Pure: alternatively, our resident adopted father, “Alt-F4”

Shamwow: i

Shamwow: somehow those two are both worse and better than Eraserhead

Banoodle: h ey!!!!

Banoodle: I chose that name out of all the goodness and love within my heart :(

Shamwow: I know and I love you


Xenomorph: holy SHIT

Pure: hahahHa hagakure you owe me so much m oney

Whomst: don't!!! Jump!!!! To!!!!! Conclusions!!!

Xenomorph: iM JUMPING


Xenomorph: wE’VE LANDED.

Banoodle: that's fair

Shamwow: don't dignify that meme with a response Hizashi

Banoodle: no u

Shamwow: I hate you

Banoodle: we've been married for six years

Xenomorph is now idle

Whomst: she just threw her phone into the hall

Whomst: oh

Pure: she broke the window

Whomst: she's going to collect it once she finishes screaming

Kewwo: d a a a a a a  d

Shamwow: not now I'm arguing

Banoodle: s i x y e a rs

Shamwow: I’ve hated you for six years, surprise motherfucker, it was all a scheme

Banoodle: you cried while proposing

Shamwow: now that would be true if I was capable of emotions that didn't range from 'nothing’ to 'overprotective fear’

Shamwow: get out my house

Banoodle: it's dark

Shamwow: get out my house tomorrow at some point

Banoodle: okay but I'm coming back

Shamwow: fine

Banoodle: okay

Shamwow: stay safe

Banoodle: u too

Shamwow: love you

Banoodle: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaAAAAAA

Shamwow: Hizashi shut up





Shamwow: this bitch I nsulting

Banoodle is now idle

Shamwow: y  e e t

Shamwow is now idle

DeezWatts: what the H Y U K juSt hAppEnEd

Chloroform: I had a plan

Chloroform: I had a p l a n to cash in the bets

Chloroform: and this is how they repay me

Sonic: don't be salty that's shouta's job

Chloroform: ur right I'm so sorry

Xenomorph is no longer idle


Oh?Vacuum?: This is why we can't have personal lives

Chloroform: you're just saying that because you practically live in the school

Oh?Vacuum?: Untrue, I go to my home at the end of school unlike y o u midnight

Chloroform: whY am I being attaCKED

Sonic: it's fine their best friend is a cowboy you can't get any lower than that

Oh?Vacuum?: Come the HE C K at me Tensei

Sonic: maybe I wILL

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm calling Ishiyama

Sonic: fuck

Sonic: cementoss makes the pits I can't have this

Chloroform: retreat Tensei it's not worth it,,,,

Oh?Vacuum?: o(-`д´- 。)

Sonic: why are you so pure

Oh?Vacuum?: Tensei we're literally hospital buddies

Oh?Vacuum?: How do you not know

Sonic: ur right I'm sorry

Xenomorph: ngl I forgot cementoss had a name

Chloroform: fkvskssvdkaba

DeezWatts: me too,, like he's kind of just,,, a cryptid,,

Sonic: brb gotta go choke on my drink

Run™: Brother no this is not what functioning like a normal person looks like

Sonic: oh I K n o w that's the p o int

Run™: Sigh

Run™: It's relatable but I shouldn't say it

Sonic: I raised you strangely

Run™: Oh I'm Very Aware

Whomst: does snipe have a name



Sonic: *gently but with a lot of feeling* no?

Chloroform: i

Chloroform: holy shit what is his name

Space: for that matter what's thirteen’s name?????


Oh?Vacuum? Can I get uh hh hhh h hh

Oh?Vacuum?: Nameless space hero?

Sonic: wait is this why you and snipe get along

Sonic: are you just the two nameless hero buddies of this strange friend group

Oh?Vacuum?: Uu UUU UH HH H H

Oh?Vacuum? is now idle


Pure: on the subject of forgetting teachers had names I just realized we actually only call aizawa by his name

Xenomorph: Oh shit yeah,, like sometimes we'll say Mr.yamada or smthn but most of the time it's just mic

Sonic: mr yamada I'm shriekign

Chloroform: he sounds like a seventy year old announcer who's on his third wife

DeezWatts: fhgkdvkavzksvKFVSKA

Murkrow: do the other teachers even exist at this point

Rowlet: \(°~°;;\)

Tentacruel: look what you've done fumikage you gave him anxiety

Rowlet: (-_-)

Tentacruel: I forgot our chat was called the barely functioning family I'm sorry

Rowlet: u3u

Tentacruel: I was blessed by my son?

Murkrow: yes

Murkrow: yes you were

Whomst: what's all mights name

Pure: Don't

Chloroform: don't hurt him he's a blessing who swears too much

Whomst: he whAT

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: all mights favourite word is shit pass it o

Banoodle is now idle

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: don't pass it on

Shamwow is now idle

Pure: *all might voice* oh shit the villains are attacking

Vulpix: fkgskasi izuku,,

Pure: it's imitate your father(ly figure) day


Pure: babe


Run™: Shouto please Do Not

Vulpix: *endeavour voice* I need to go to prison because it's illegal to (be) burn(ing) trash


Sonic: holy shit,,,

Run™: I can't believe one of my boyfriends did this but I support him because it's true

Sonic: waIT

Run™: Oh fuck

Pure: teNYA

Vulpix: *stern all might voice* only villains do this


Run™: fksbkavdkabaka

Pure: Oh Boy

Vulpix: hello I need more family stand ins because my father has hurt me emotionally and I'm filling the void


Vulpix: Love this new bruncle (brother uncle)

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: smh Tensei I offered In highschool and you just skfgaoNVdkanKbdgai

Banoodle: shjOUta beGetbsjmBksam

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: don't lock yourself in the bathroom because I'm right

Shamwow: you're like a swarm of annoying bees

Banoodle: watch me turn into bees now smh

Banoodle: I'm going to sit here real hard trying to turn into bees

Banoodle: Tensei count me down

Shamwow: hizashi.

Sonic: okay,,

Sonic: three

Shamwow: tensei .

Sonic: two

Shamwow: I'm picking up the cats

Sonic: one

Sonic: BEES!

Shamwow: just know, you have disappointed all three of us

Banoodle: fuck

Banoodle: I just turned into one big bee

Shamwow: I hate this fucking house and I need better friends

Chloroform: time to go to the money zone

Sonic: the hONEy zone

DeezWatts: I don't know where these jokes come from and at this point I'm too afraid to ask

Xenomorph: how do you know THAT meme but don't know the teacher's meme


DeezWatts: some things,,, are iconic,,,


BandaidArms: e h


DeezWatts: my man is standing with me


Chloroform: I'm cackling

Shamwow: nemuri you shit don't encourage them

Chloroform: I feel like we shouldn't be swearing here

Shamwow: idk @ the principal if you think it's bad

DeezWatts: oh my g od the principal has an account,,

Banoodle: doNt,, he can't know I've been a bad teacher

Chloroform: :33333c

DeezWatts: thfhsksvak

Banoodle: I hate you,,

Chloroform: ^3~

Chloroform: alright kids don't speak our channel names are all the same

Whomst: k

Chloroform: @ Cryptid is it against the law for us to be swearing around the kids or what

Cryptid is no longer idle

Cryptid: Well I'm actually not too sure!!

Cryptid: Aizawa, I believe you have every rule memorised in case you can expel a student based on something minor?

Chloroform: you told me you didn't know

Shamwow: I said @ the principal if you think it's bad

Shamwow: also, that is Not the reason I memorised the rules

Cryptid: It is.


Shamwow: I fucking hate this

Cryptid: dont swear

Shamwow: there actually isn't a rule against swearing around the kids because they're going to be exposed to it as heroes anyway, it's more of a guideline because they're kids and we're all grouchy overprotective parental people

Cryptid: Shit you right

Shamwow: why do you meme like this

Shamwow: why was THIS the meme you chose

Cryptid: I'm a highly intelligent animal who is your boss and was also your homeroom teacher I think you've learned to stop questioning me

Shamwow: shit you right my bad

Cryptid: See, you even picked up on my humour :^D

Cryptid: You were my favourite student for a reason

Shamwow: I was the who in the what now,,

Cryptid is now idle

Xenomorph: s wE R V E D


Cutieshima: fifty whole,, american dollars,,,

Chloroform: I hate this song

Shamwow: this raises several questions??

Kewwo: the principal was your homeroom teacher??

Banoodle: oh yeah

Banoodle: I remember when shouta brought in his scarf the first time fbsksvaka

Banoodle: a g o n y

Banoodle: Tensei why did u help design it for him

Sonic: because I'm a good friend and he was a general ed transfer who needed the equipment




Cutieshima: guys don't

Xenomorph: so who's your favourite student teach(ers) ;3c




Banoodle: we have a meeting right this second sorry

Shamwow is now idle

Chloroform is now idle

Banoodle is now idle

Sonic: haha suckers

Sonic: that's why you don't TEACH

Xenomorph: sick em

Sonic: oh shit

Chapter Text

Sonic: who else is crying in the club tonight

Banoodle: im always crying in the club

Shamwow: oh boy that's a mood

Chloroform: I thought we were on the kids chat for like 3 seconds

Shamwow: I hate this song

Banoodle: I V e

Banoodle: b eCoM E s O N u m B

Banoodle: thanks for the heart attack nemuri

Sonic: arent they in lesson tho


Shamwow: oh yeah

Banoodle: djvksgsk whY DOES TENSEI KNOW THIS??

Sonic: g o t t a  b l a s t ?

Chloroform: they've got ishiyama now right?

Shamwow: yeah

Mr.Muscle is no longer idle

Mr.Muscle: Cementoss Has Somehow Launched The Children.

Shamwow: what the fuck

Mr.Muscle: To be fair I think it was an accident?

Shamwow: how badly is midoriya hurt

Mr.Muscle: you jumped to the correct conclusion but a conclusion nonetheless

Mr.Muscle: he sprained his ankle

Mr.Muscle: young bakugou has broken his entire wrist

Chloroform: Imfbsksba

Sonic: (nemuri dont)

Banoodle: one whole wrist??

Mr.Muscle: one whole wrist.

Banoodle: d a m n

PebbleSkip is no longer idle

Shamwow: what the fuck richard?

PebbleSkip: I’m..

PebbleSkip: Sorry?

PebbleSkip: Kirishima stuck his hand into the wall and I tried to fix it because they were getting on my nerves and then Midoriya tried to pull Kirishima's hand out the wall because he tried to stick it back in and now I'm confused.

Chloroform: fksbsksk Kirishima was ready to take one for the team??

Mr.Muscle: I repeat, Bakugou broke his entire wrist .

PebbleSkip: I don't even know how

PebbleSkip: He sits on the other side of the class.

Banoodle: him gay pulled he over

Shamwow: stop

McFUCK is no longer idle

McFUCK: if I walk into hagakure one more time I'm going to start crying on the spot

Banoodle: the crying is a mood but ive never bumped into her

Chloroform: why is this such a big hurdle for you???

McFUCK: I doNt kNow??

McFUCK: I caNt evEn sEE HER sO hOnIng WoRKs TERriBlY???

Shamwow: imagine if she was born with her quirk




Shamwow: her mother would've given birth to an invisible baby

Shamwow: the fear???



Banoodle: shouta what the fuck

Shamwow: I m so t i re d

Banoodle: !!!!!

Banoodle: you didn't wake me up last night??

Banoodle: Did you come home???

Shamwow: to change

Shamwow: and then I came to school

Shamwow: it was like 4 am I didn't want to wake you

Chloroform: he messaged the chat threatening to break whoever woke you up with a message

Banoodle: that's both endearing and terrifying

Mr.Muscle: the principal decided to send all of them to their dorms for the rest of the day seeing as it was basically their last lesson

Shamwow: they wormed their way out of my homework

Shamwow: surprise I have a secret weapon

McFUCK: oh no

Class 1-A machine BROKE -PM channel


Xenomorph: first order of business is changing the name back

Xenomorph: second order of business is crying over Kirishima’s face when he stuck his hand into the wall

Cutieshima: I did it but my bf got hurt :((

Whomst: I don't even know how

Pure: Neither do I? He sits so far away???

DeezWatts: he ran over to protect Kirishima from the wall but then cementoss did his weird earthbending and him CRONCH

BandaidArms: it was pretty gay

BoomBoomPow: fuck

BoomBoomPow: we have competition @ Momo

BandaidArms: jirou

BandaidArms: jirou we're all competing

BoomBoomPow: dammit

Venonat has been added to the chat!

Venonat: what's up I'm Jared I'm tired and you all have homework due for Monday from Aizawa it's all on your email

Venonat has left the chat

Xenomorph: wh

Xenomorph: whaT JUST HAPPENED

Pure: idk but I'm gay

Vulpix: noted

Run™: Common Knowledge

Pure: <3333

Run™: <3

Vulpix: <33

DeezWatts: that's gay

Pure: Denki

DeezWatts: don't call me out please


Vulpix: D e n k i

DeezWatts: pleAsE IM SENSITIVE

Run™: Kaminari..

BandaidArms: you have,,, an entire boyfriend

DeezWatts: starts crying instantly

Pure: me me big mood

Vulpix: I zuku,,,,,

Run™: I regret learning what a meme is

Xenomorph: Cannot Relate.

Run™: We know, it's not news

Xenomorph: whVKfvaksga

Xenomorph: o F Fe  NDED???

Murkrow: so how is everyone doing

Xenomorph: KrvakavKDVAKAVDKS RUDE,,

Whomst: Snipe bumped into me again today

Xenomorph: we need to put a stamp on you

Xenomorph: or those glowing lines u get on airplanes

Whomst: I had my uniform on

Whomst: I can excuse it if I'm completely invisible (I know how my quirk works fuck off) but I'm wearing CLOTHES

Murkrow: to be fair,, he is,,, wearing a mask??

Whomst: how does this justify anything

Murkrow: I'm trying to make him feel better

Whomst: he isn't even here

Murkrow: you don't know that

Whomst: the user list is ri ght there


Murkrow: maybe dark shadow is covering the screen

Whomst: mOVE UR BIRD

Murkrow: no


Tentacruel: Me, no apologies

Murkrow: look at him

Murkrow: he can pick my entire self up in one hand

DeezWatts: his hands are all joined together

Murkrow: He Can Pick My Entire Self Up In O N E E N T I R E H A N D

Pure: so can I

Tentacruel: is that a challenge

Pure: yeah fuck you

Run™: Language, Izuku

Pure: but,, tenya,,,

Run™: Izuku

Pure: :(

Pure: *heck off

Whomst is now idle

Pure: I can lift two entire boyfriend,,,

Xenomorph: that's a glow up

Pure: from,,, our tests?

Xenomorph: yes

DeezWatts: u were already beautiful but that stronk up,, hoo

BandaidArms: stop cheating on me

DeezWatts: you know I'm right

BandaidArms: s t op,, Calli Ng u s o ut?

DeezWatts: n o

Pure: goal in life - pick every one up and keep them safe

Xenomorph: you're so pure what the fuck

Vulpix: I'm crying,,?

Vulpix: cradle me in ur impressive biceps tenya you ripped fast boy

Vulpix: I'm cry

Run™: I don't know sounds pretty Homosexual

Vulpix: we are pretty homosexual

Run™: touché

Pure: you both are pretty that's for sure

Vulpix: h ecck

Run™: Fbksbalvakr

DeezWatts: I feel like midoriya is a pro at breaking his boyfriends

Xenomorph: clearly he and kiri are competing

Cutieshima: friendly competition!!

Bakuslay: fuck him up eijiro

Cutieshima: katsuki please

DeezWatts: we can't keep doing this

Bakuslay: fuck you you're not my mom

DeezWatts: time to call our five whole parental units and report this act of cyber bullying

Whomst is no longer idle

Whomst: I'm never leaving my room ever again

Xenomorph: did snipe bump into you again?

Whomst: How'd you guess :/

Xenomorph: I just passed him in the corridor he's very quietly crying

Xenomorph: he's just walking quickly and going 'fucking shitting- w h y’ under his breath

Tentacruel: nothing will ever beat the exam

Whomst: fksvJvdkaa

Tentacruel: “I'm sorry I didn't mean to- I swear I'm not- fuck- please I respect women

Xenomorph: snipe drinks his respect women juices

Momo: There is certainly a better way to phrase that...

BoomBoomPow: no that's good

Momo: Sweetheart.

BoomBoomPow: <33


Momo: I'll allow it.. <3

BoomBoomPow: I love my girlfriend,,,

Momo: She loves you too

BoomBoomPow: :00000

Rowlet: !! :'3c

Infernape: yes it's very cute Kouda

Chapter Text

Class 1-A machine STILL BROKE -PM


McFUCK: I hate going outside

Shamwow: that's a mood

McFUCK: these aren't tears streaming down my face it's the new gucci can't you tell

Chloroform: fksvksvka snipe, did u,,,, bump into her again,,, it's been like 3 minutes since u threatened to cry over it





Shamwow: wasted

Shamwow: the real question is how do you not notice her

Banoodle: yeah ud think after bumping into her so many times ud keep an eye out

McFUCK: leave me alone I don't call either of you out on your s hit

Shamwow: you called me out for drinking literally three entire pots of coffee and still being tired enough to nap through lunch yesterday

Banoodle: me, pulling up a list.

Chloroform: (you don't count Hizashi you're way too easy to call out)

Banoodle: (rude)

McFUCK: occasionally I call you out

Banoodle: o c C  a si O N A L LY

Oh?Vacuum?: For just an entire american dollar a day, you can prevent the cyberbullying of snipe

Banoodle: I have enough entire American dollars to cancel this out

Shamwow: in this house we bully snipe


┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
bully snipe
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲

McFUCK: how about,,, we d ont,,,


┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
Don't ™
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲


┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm not arguing with you through a meme


┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
argue through memes
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm leaving this house

Chloroform: and the space hero is defeated

Oh? Vacuum: you're just salty your quirk doesn't work well on me


Oh?Vacuum?: Everyone who wears a mask on their hero costume was sick and tired of being put to sleep for your terrible pranks and now we've formed a committee to ruin future pranks

Chloroform: sCANDALOUS???

Chloroform: Aizawa stop ur friend

Shamwow: who

Banoodle: -mst

Shamwow: please Hizashi

Oh?Vacuum?: I am Disgusted , I am Revolted , I dedicate my entire life to our lord and saviour Keeping The Students Safe and This is the thanks I get?

Chloroform: @ McFUCK , @ PebbleSkip


Oh?Vacuum?: I think the fuck not you trick ass bitch

Chloroform: COLLECT. UR. SPACE. W E E B.

PebbleSkip: Anakuro are you quoting vines at nemuri again

Oh?Vacuum?: g o t t a b l a s t

PebbleSkip: I'm coming over

Oh? Vacuum: oh shit

McFUCK: oh shit indeed, young thot

Oh?Vacuum? is now idle

PebbleSkip is now idle

McFUCK is now idle

Sonic: ngl their friendship still confuses the fuck out of me

Banoodle: that's a worm mood

Fangboi: I wouldn't question it

Shamwow: Not questioning it is 100% in your best interests

Shamwow: I've tagged along to approximately five of their social gatherings and it is The Most Confusing Thing

Chloroform: are

Chloroform: are we brushing over cementoss calling thirteen an actual name????


Banoodle: yes?

Shamwow: I don't see the problem here

Chloroform: n aMElESS SPACE HERO???

Shamwow: oh

Banoodle: fksbskab

Shamwow: nemuri,, I care about you but,, thirteen’s name is ON their hero record

Shamwow: I don't know if they're going to change it to fit better to what they feel but that's what it is for now

Chloroform: you whaT

Banoodle: literally the contact book is in the teacher's lounge?

Banoodle: every time I forgot someone's name while starting out here I just browsed through it

Chloroform: jgskavakevdkam!!!!

Chloroform: so snipe,,, has a n a me,,?

Banoodle: oh I have absolutely No Idea

Shamwow: Wasn't his contact information one of the casualties of Let Hizashi Try To Make Something Using A Microwave And Everything In The Shared Fridge Day

Banoodle: me, sweating nervously: uhh hhh hh

Fangboi: And this is why we moved all the documents to the other side of the room

Chloroform: I'm shrieking???

Shamwow: the name on their contact information is something like Hirooki Anakuro but they don't really respond to it

Shamwow: calling them thirteen is honestly more efficient as well as logical seeing as they've constantly contemplated changing their name

Chloroform: I'm shook I need like 10-20 minutes to process literally all of this information

Fangboi: Take your time.

Banoodle: wait shouta your class hand english homework too

Shamwow: I already called in my favour zashi I can't do it again

Banoodle: fine,,

Banoodle: I'm gonna go scream off the roof again

Shamwow: Welp

Shamwow: we'll be about 5-10 minutes, i have to make sure he doesn't fall off

Banoodle: I've been doing this for years

Shamwow: We Aren't Talking About That Time You Screamed Off The Roof In Second Year

Banoodle: o k a y , ,

Chloroform: wait before u go

Chloroform: how many times has Hizashi pulled that “we’ve been married for six years” w/ ur class

Shamwow: once

Shamwow: when ashido threw her phone out a window

Shamwow: I don't honestly know how she believed it that quickly

Chloroform: you've been dating for 15 and were engaged for like 3

Banoodle: we were taking our time,,,?

Shamwow: we were procrastinating an entire wedding

Banoodle: I mE aN,,, it's true but,, you shouldn't admit it

Shamwow: I shouldn't even come with you to the roof I should just go home and hug our daughter

Banoodle: I can't believe you're leaving me for the cat

Shamwow: I'm always leaving you for her she's better

Banoodle: uuUUHH RUDE

Banoodle: guess I'll scream off the top of UA by myself then :’(

Banoodle is now idle

Shamwow: w a it n o hiZASHI

Shamwow is now idle

Chloroform: oh this is bound to end well

Fangboi: I need a drink


Class 1-A Machine BROKE -PM channel


Xenomorph: anyone else see mic on top of the roof???

Infernape: yes,,

Whomst: oh no

Vulpix: our parental unit #3 is about to do something stupid isn't he

Pure: It's okay parental unit #1 has him covered

DeezWatts: update, parental unit #2 is gently placing his hands over his face

BandaidArms: all might is so tired of mic's shit already

Whomst: apparently blood king just whipped out an entire flask from under his desk

Whomst: kendou has an after school club with him as the supervisor

Xenomorph: oooo he's speaking


Whomst: smh send it through the voice channel I can't hear it!!!

Xenomorph: hOW

Whomst: I left school as quickly as I could when we were dismissed I wanted food

Infernape: understandable have a nice day

Infernape: can you get me some,,

Whomst: Ye I got u

Infernape: thanks ily,,

Whomst: ily2 bitch boy


Xenomorph: lol what u nerds doing

Infernape: dying

Whomst: getting anothER BOYF

Infernape: tOORU


Whomst: :))))

DeezWatts: I thought the comment of 'as my gay best friend’ meant u two weren't dating

Infernape: don't question this you Pokémon



Infernape: hOW DO YOU KNOW???

Xenomorph: lol I don't

Xenomorph: but thank u for confirming my suspicions

Whomst: maSHIRAO YOU F O O L

Infernape: fhgskVKhdalavkasv

BoomBoomPow: I'm opening the vc

Opened Voice Channel To Group


Banoodle: WHATS UP LISTENERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Banoodle: TALK TO YOU LISTENERS LATER,   P E A C E O U T ! ! ! !


Closed Voice Channel To Group


Xenomorph: I think the speaker on my phone broke

BoomBoomPow: get better quality [B]itch

Xenomorph: rude ://

Whomst: found my target time to get another date

Infernape: flsvskavdka toORU,,

Whomst: we can't let iitododeku rule the school you fool

Run™: iitodo what?

Whomst: nothing

Xenomorph: :)

Vulpix: fear.jpg

Pure: mood

Whomst: I require to be the superior dating power

Infernape: god is dead and your poly ass killed him

Whomst: says you

Infernape: I didn't come into this chat to be called out,,

Cutieshima: he came out to have a good time and he's honestly feeling so attacked right now

Infernape: the attack had been furthered

Venonat is no longer idle

Venonat: mashirao your girlfriend is doing the thing again

Infernape: she's your girlfriend too

Infernape: deal with it

Whomst: :/

Venonat: as your boyfriend this is offensive

Infernape: fjsvkMSBLSVDKA

Venonat is idle

DeezWatts: WhomST THE FUCKVE????

Chapter Text

Whomst the fuckve is Venonat channel


Xenomorph: whoever changed the channel name

Xenomorph: we all fucking know we're just too nice to call ojiro and hagakure out for their taste

Infernape: fuck you

Whomst: be nice

Infernape: n o

Whomst: and this is how they know who venonat is

Infernape: fkacsmavbf

Xenomorph: it's four am

Whomst: ur right

DeezWatts: operation sleep,, hell,,,,, when,,,, is a go

Cutieshima: denki we're just trying 2 find out where #1 leaves the grounds from

DeezWatts: s leep

DeezWatts: h E l l

DeezWatts: W H E N

Venonat is no longer idle

DeezWatts: I summoned the insomniac

Pure: fsvdkavaksvska

Venonat: oh there are actually people online

Venonat: clearly 4am was not the safe time I believed it to be

Bakuslay: wow fuck you too

Vulpix: its him, the boy,,

Run™: But Are We Sure

Pure: pretty sure

Run™: We've had villain attacks before..

Venonat: why the everloving titty fuck would some villain hack their way into a kid’s communication channel

Run™: Touché.

Venonat: anyway

Venonat: Yo fake-dad are we still on for training @ Shamwow

Shamwow is now idle

Shamwow: yeah yeah I'm on my way

Shamwow: I was

Shamwow: occupied

Venonat: o c c u p i  e d

Venonat: ur cat wouldn't get up would she

Shamwow: More Like My Entire Spouse

Shamwow: are you still at the park?

Venonat: eyup

Venonat: some ass tried to come at me but I just had to act scared and ask who he was and he got cocky enough to answer so he's just chilling with me right now

Shamwow: I s wear to fuck this is the last time I'm letting you sit in a park by yourself at four am

Shamwow: which - in hindsight - was already a terrible idea

Shamwow: we’re going to have to pull some bullshit about how I apprehended him again

Venonat: most likely

Venonat: oh shit there you are

Venonat: swinging in like some bad Spiderman remake

Shamwow: leave my capture weapon out of this

Shamwow: spider man has enough upper body strength to haul ass for miles kid  

Shamwow: anyway

Shamwow: Everyone who's awake (don't think I don't know your shit sleeping habits (don't start with me kirishima))

Shamwow: go the FUCK to sleep you have a test

Shamwow: I know iida and todoroki just woke up because I saw them making breakfast when I went out, also they always wake up at four am, make breakfast and then wake up midoriya because he trains until six- you all have very precise morning habits

Cutieshima: we've been busted

Cutieshima: sleep bitch sleep

DeezWatts: begone THOT

BandaidArms: :’/

Bakuslay: Confirmation Would Be Fucking Nice


Cutieshima: sweetie,,

Shamwow: it's Mr.MindMan

Venonat: Yes That Is My Name

Pure: Hi Shinsou!!!

Pure: Eraserhead Jr :P

Run™: go back to sleep izuku you have another half an hour

Pure: aww!!! But I wanna help for once :(

Vulpix: you can't say no to that tenya


Run™: Okay fine but you have to take some time to wake up properly before any exercise!!

Pure: love u both uwu ♥️♥️

Cutieshima: shit, why can't I stay up then bakubro wakes up around this time too!!

DeezWatts: ye ah!

Shamwow: I can and will have you all expelled

Shamwow: He usually wakes up at six am on weekdays, don't try and fool me kirishima

Shamwow: which is why him being awake right now is suspicious


Cutieshima: this is favouritism!!!!!!

Venonat: can't relate

Venonat: anyway hi midoriya

Venonat: All Might jr

Shamwow: wow we are not getting training done today are we

Venonat: you are literally walking with me to the gym

Shamwow: I will fight you

Venonat: oh will you?

Venonat is idle

Shamwow is idle

Cutieshima: holy fucking shit

Pure: now,, I'm scared that Mr Aizawa answered that question

Pure: but I doubt he would

Shamwow is no longer idle

Venonat is no longer idle

Venonat: fucking ow

Shamwow: maybe don't forget I can erase your quirk

Venonat: eat a dick


Shamwow: too late

Venonat: I Did Not Need This

Venonat: you're the Most Domestic underground hero I've ever met

Shamwow: I'm probably the first underground hero you've ever known was a hero because I'm doing a terrible job of being underground recently

Shamwow: conferences are disgusting

Pure: Sorry

Shamwow: Midoriya if you apologise for one more thing that was out of your control I'm going to tell All Might

Pure: fUCk

Cutieshima: power move

Banoodle is no longer idle

Xenomorph: can we compile a list of which teachers have basically adopted which students

Shamwoa: no

Banoodle: amAZ ING IDEA

Shamwow: why are you a w a k e

Banoodle: because

Banoodle: I was col d :(

Shamwow: you are literally a fucking furnace what the hell Hizashi

Banoodle: it's cold!!!!

Shamwow: it's not

Banoodle: yeS????

Shamwow: I'm wearing my tracksuit like normal it's really not

Banoodle: yeah but you've got ur training clothes don't u


Shamwow: no fuck you

Banoodle: :3c

Banoodle: anyway!!! Mochi sat on me & woke me up :’))

Shamwow: I've taught her well

Shamwow: alright hitoshi you get started on your warm up I’ll be there in a second

Venonat: waaaaay ahead of you

Shamwow: you're two feet in front of me

Venonat: >:P

Whomst: Cute

Infernape: ^

Venonat: heck

Shamwow: yeah yeah go on

Venonat is idle

Banoodle: u training ur son

Shamwow: he's not my son

Kewwo: he's basically your son

Banoodle: even she knows

Shamwow: are we fake adopting more people

Banoodle: you said “I'm off to train the purple fake son,” to midnight when she asked where u were going last week

Shamwow: listen h ere,,

Shamwow: that random cat? Mine. I'm the stingy of the parental world

Banoodle: that's gay (and cute I love u)

Shamwow: yeah (heck)

Xenomorph: All Might adopted basically everyone in class but we’re saying it's Deku, how accurate is this?

Banoodle: very

Banoodle: he's the #1 dad might

Banoodle: except Mineta

Xenomorph: who

Banoodle: exactly.

Xenomorph: Mic adopted Jirou because they both start screaming the lyrics to songs really loudly if you let them

Xenomorph: also Aoyama because he sparkles and thrives in the media

Shamwow: seems about right

Xenomorph: aizawa adopts everyone

Xenomorph: aizawa adopted Tsuyu because u k n o and also adopted Shinsou because [B]oi has potential and the entry exams are what the kids call biased

Shamwow: what's 'u k n o’ suppose to mean

Xenomorph: Because!!!! U K n o !!!!!

Shamwow: ah yes A+ 10/10 explaining you will pass your written exams with flying colours

Xenomorph: like,,, you,,, got your face smashed in f or her??


Banoodle: o h

Shamwow: *all of you

Banoodle: paternal power move

Shamwow: I wouldn't let any of you just get hurt like that

Banoodle: b a be

Shamwow: if you cry at four in the morning it will be a new record and no one will let you live it down

Banoodle: fucij

Banoodle: t o o l a t e , ,

Shamwow: zashi

Shanwow: alright, everyone go the fuck to sleep, we're done for tonight

Shamwow is idle

Cutieshima: the Father has spoken

Cutieshima: but also n o because we all went to sleep early yesterday to try and see where eraser sneaks out from

Cutieshima: he may know our usual sleep schedules but we were being abnormal! Huzzah

DeezWatts: lmao huzzah

Cutieshima: don't shame me denki

Banoodle: k ids

Banoodle: he literally leaves through the front gate

Banoodle: there isn't another way around

Banoodleic: unless he was willing to scale a wall and set off the alarms

Banoodle: anyway

Banoodle: I've got to hop off too because the cats are being little shits and also because I actually have to get up for work now

Cutieshima: y’all get up at four am that's disgusting

Banoodle: lesson planning is important let me live my life the way I chose to live it

Banoodle is idle

Xenomorph: aizawa and all might have joint custody of midoriya

Pure: fjsgs what w hy

Xenomorph: why n ot

Pure: he  l iterally just said he was protective of everyone??

Xenomorph: even more the reason smfh

Pure: fine?? I guess?????

Xenomorph: aizawa and present mic have joint custody of todoroki

Vulpix: I’ll take it

DeezWatts: ooO a big mood

Vulpix: fuck endeavour

Run™: It's a shared view

Run™: But honestly it would be best if anyone who hasn't slept, please sleep for a bit I will ensure you are all up on time!

Run™: Ochaco I trust you slept?

Space: :00 of course??

Space: tsu and I have tagged on to their Morning Training Sessions before so we weren't too curious about who it was //\\

Xenomorph: anD YOU NEVER TOLD U S

Space: it didn't seem important!!!!

Space: mic was there and I thought you knew??

Xenomorph: breathes gently

Xenomorph: I love n cherish u swety but t hat was s ome k ey ER a s ermi c I C ouldve re corde d

Kewwo: back off my girlfriend

Xenomorph: stomach acid vs hand acid

Kewwo: nasty girl, spit on u

Xenomorph: rhkagskavak

Chloroform is no longer idle

Chloroform: Fuck a hater , hit a snitch , your my girl ♀♀ , my 5 star bitch , i love you more than any dick ♥️(100), && if i dont get this back ⏱ , you aint worth shit !! Send this to 8 girls you care about .. (100) I love you , I love you forever !! (100)Whoever stops this will suffer for 83 days !! (100)(100)(100)Ready, set, GO !!!! @ Shamwow

Cutieshima: wjVKfvska whAT

Murkrow: I'm dissociating

DeezWatts: god I wish that were me

Shamwow is no longer idle


Chloroform: OH SHIT


Banoodle is no longer idle



Shamwow: fucKginG,,,

Shamwow: I'm not the father of this friend group

Sonic is no longer idle

Sonic: lol daddy

Shamwow: GET OUT

Shamwow: RiGHT NOW


Venonat: He's Screaming

Sonic: d a  d d dddyyyyy n o o o o

Venonat: We Are Running?

Sonic: daddy pleaaaasseee don't drop kick me :(((((

Sonic: I'll b g ooooodd

Sonic: ⒹⒶⒹⒹⓎ


Sonic: tenya cover your eyes

Run™: Hell Is Real.

Sonic: IM DELETING YOU, DADDY! D’X ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... ⊗ERROR!⊗ (100) True(100) Daddies are irreplaceable ♥️I could never delete you Daddy!♥️ Send this to ten other Daddies who give yjgDLABWORGSKNQVA

Shamwow: surprise bitch


Venonat: I don't think I've ever seen someone use a scarf to vault over a gate, swing to the wall of a building, scale it and then jump through the open window

Venonat: is this underground hero work?

Shamwow: Yes, We Stop Crime.


Shamwow: it's your fault for sleeping without a shirt on what are you fucking doing

Shamwow: you're going to get i l l

Sonic: tuck me in papa

Run™: I Hate This

Pure: im omw tenya I'm sorry you have to experience this

Vulpix: ^^

Shamwow: bye

Sonic: I'm going to get knocked out before the night is over

Shamwow: the night is over its four am

Sonic: well fuck me sideways better go swing myself into a wall

Sonic: I'm going to regret this when I wake up again

Sonic: shouta, moms probably awake if u wanna say hi to her & stay for breakfast (ur son too)

Shamwow: You All Live In A Big Ass House That Fits Like Seventy People

Sonic: I'm visiting

Venonat: You All Live In A Big Ass House That Fits Like Seventy People

Sonic: your son is attacking me shouta

Shamwow: deal with it

Sonic: your dad is attacking me hitoshi

Venonat: what do u want me to do about it

Sonic: your family is attacking me Hizashi

Banoodle: I really can't help I just stopped laughing BC of the copy pastas

Banoodle: the cats were outside so they're!!! Fine!!!!!

Shamwow: oh thank god

Banoodle: rude

Shamwow: ♥️♥️

Banoodle: nevERMIND

Chloroform: whipped

Chloroform: emi is poking me

Shamwow: not my department

Chloroform: ur right she's a woman and u Hella gay

Shamwow: fksvkavdkaav

Shamwow: I've been married longer than you've been dating her

Chloroform: bY A YEAR

Shamwow: and yet she still jokes

Banoodle: it's fucgjin hilarious

Banoodle: when people want him but he's yoURS

Shamwow: I'm sorry who's face is on a tabloid with 'hottest hero of the year’

Banoodle: h o o o o o O o o O B O Y SH O ULD B E Y O U

Space: this is old man levels of flirting

Kewwo: it's the gay agenda

Space: it's a gay agenda goal

Chloroform: watch me add emi to the teachers chat just to spite your shouta

Shamwow: do it pusillanimous

Chloroform: mrsblaabdkfbkan

Chloroform: I hate u

Shamwow: sure

Shamwow: okay now it's time for some uuuhhh

Shamwow has temporarily closed the channel for 0600 hours

Whomst the fuckve is Venonat channel re-opened at 1000 hours!


Xenomorph: IT L I V E S

Cutieshima: we're in class!!!!

Xenomorph: I had a countdown going for when it re-opened kiri

DeezWatts: sad

BandaidArms: denki had one too

Xenomorph: called out

DeezWatts: uHM RUDE

DeezWatts: anyway what's the answer to number 3 I've been stressing for Several Minutes

Xenomorph: I put 'i don't know I'm sorry’ in pencil

Bakuslay: it's C dumbasses

Bakuslay: we covered it last week

DeezWatts: b l e s s y o u

Xenomorph: O h

Xenomorph: those were the notes I burned through :’)

DeezWatts: I was s ick

BandaidArms: how do you both miss the lessons we need

DeezWatts: I don't have a proper immune system

BandaidArms: I know. I caught your bug :/

Cutieshima: at least u looked after ur bf

BandaidArms: You Are Correct I Don't Regret It (too much)

DeezWatts: g E e e t h an k s b o y f r I e nd

Space: Aizawa is locking on to your location

Kewwo: He Sees All

DeezWatts: abAnDON SHIP

Xenomorph: H E C K

Chapter Text

Chloroform: snipe why did u just shoot your phone?

McFUCK: I was taking a screenshot

Chloroform: i

Boo: o h

Banoodle: it's that time of the year again,,

Shamwow: I hate this song

Oh?Vacuum?: Orion's belt is just a huge waist of space when you think about it

Shamwow: I can't take this

PebbleSkip: bad joke, only 3 stars

Shamwow: I want to retire and never come back

Banoodle: hey shouta like my tie?

Shamwow: why are you wearing a tie

Shamwow: why does it have airplanes on it

Banoodle: nedzu said to wear my plain tie :)

Shamwow: I

Shamwow: I want a divorce

Shamwow: I'm taking the kids

Banoodle: fksvksavja b ABE


Heckity heck it's time to pecc channel


Venonat: @ Shamwow wait explain the theory again I can't do it

Shamwow: I want to mcdie

Pure: u h

Vulpix: bad theory 0/10

Shamwow: w a i t

Cutieshima: jfbsksvskavsksba

Shamwow: shinsou hitoshi,,

Venonat: Aizawa Shouta.

DeezWatts: power,,,,, move?

DeezWatts: it was either a powerful move, extreme disrespect or Shinsou is genuinely Aizawa's entire child

Vulpix: you're worse than me with theories

Shamwow: stop pulling me in at inopportune times

Venonat: it's always an inopportune time

Shamwow: this is true, never pull me in here ever again

Venonat: you can't tell me what to do

Shamwow: I'm your teacher

Venonat: oh

Venonat: correct nevermind

DeezWatts: you two calling each other by first name is now the most uncomfortable thing to have ever happened to me

DeezWatts: and that's excluding what happened in class

Banoodle is now idle

Banoodle: sh ouTa!!!

Banoodle: bailing for the kids channel??

Banoodle: ur in a lot of,,,

Shamwow: please don't

Banoodle: treble

Shamwow: noumu could come back and offer to smash my face into the ground repeatedly and I'd take it in a heartbeat

Mr.Muscle is no longer idle

Mr.Muscle: that's not very heroic

Shamwow has changed Mr.Muscle 's name to Stronft

Shamwow: tHaTs NoT vErY hErOiC

Stronft: I honestly don't know what part of my sanity I lost to this school but it took more than I agreed to

Shamwow: and you've been here for under a year

Shamwow: some of us have been here for a while now

Stronft: It Explains A Lot

Shamwow: I should probably be offended by that

Banoodle: dw all might he's just salty because he cat have a nap

Shamwow: not your best

Banoodle: yeah :/

Chloroform is no longer idle

Chloroform: wait what 'happened in class’

Shamwow: the usual

DeezWatts: how did you,,, know I wrote that

BoomBoomPow: lesbians are omniscient

DeezWatts: I don't know what that means

Momo: I do :)

DeezWatts: well ur a lesbian so it probably applies

Momo: You Are Correct

DeezWatts: f o r o nce,, in m y l ife,,,

Cutieshima: I'm proud of you bro

DeezWatts: thank y o u

Chloroform: lfbsks okay fine we're doing this

Chloroform: whose free last period we're going to w a  s  t e Aizawa

Shamwow: you're going to what now

BoomBoomPow: wh

Kewwo: One Fear

Shamwow: i do not agree to any of this

Chloroform: yes you do

Run™: My brother warned me about your peer pressure..

Chloroform: Your brother is a Coward who couldn't beat me in gay chicken & ran away when I tried to give him a dare

Banoodle: He's Trying His Best

Run™: ^^

Chloroform: Tensei has nothing to do with us wasting Aizawa

Shamwow: let me live

Chloroform: ‘I want to mcdie’


Shamwow is now idle

Gin-gle bells, End*avour smells -PM channel


Chloroform: drinking game: name an embarrassing thing that happened to you in class, if it's unbeatable everyone else takes a shot, if not, you take it

PebbleSkip: Is this appropriate?

Fangboi: probably not

PebbleSkip: you're pulling out a bottle of vodka from under your desk aren't you

Fangboi: it's whiskey, nice try

Shamwow: oooooooh that's a big mood right there

Shamwow: I have tequila though, Hizashi keeps stealing my vodka to make cocktails

Banoodle: you drink them too

Shamwow: they're sweet as shit Hizashi

Banoodle: you drink for the alcohol not the flavour

Shamwow: called out

Chloroform: gO WITH THE C O N T EST

Shamwow: I called shinsou hitoshi his first name in front of the entire class, then tried to fix it with 'whoops sorry son’ and then proceeded to walk out the fucking door only to hear him go 'GEE THANKS DAD’

Banoodle: he just chugged from his bottle

Chloroform: o h m y g o d

Shamwow: the worst part about this is that he's not even in my class

Shamwow: he came in to ask about work I gave him (and also his class needed glue?? I don't have????? Glue?????)

Shamwow: and I left him just standing at the front of the classroom because i wasn't coherent enough to save myself

Banoodle: wait wtf why don't you have glue??

Shamwow: why is it necessary??

Banoodle: for them to stick shit in??

Shamwow: Sero’s Arms Spit Tape

Shamwow: also do you not give them folders??

Banoodle: yes but that's

Banoodle: iTS DIFFERENT!!

Banoodle: what if the lesson correlates with the loose sheet,, what r u gonna do,,

Shamwow: use tags with dates and lesson titles.


Banoodle: gently but with a lot of feeling: oh

Shamwow: yeah.

Shamwow: also jokes on you this is Water I'm not irresponsible enough to get drunk when my kids might need me

Fangboi: alright but consider, I'm tired

Shamwow: inexcusable, I had no sleep

Banoodle: you whAT

Shamwow: i shouldn't have admitted that

Shamwow: ye e t

Shamwow is now idle

Heckity heck it's time to pecc channel


Murkrow: all might is a concerned teacher

Tentacruel: he's always a concerned something

Infernape: you're right,,

BandaidArms: he's concerned rn because of the other teachers but he looked at his phone Once (1 (one) time) and then immediately put it back down

BandaidArms: Which Is Honestly A Large Mood

DeezWatts: Ur right ur right

DeezWatts: I'm glad we only have a written lesson though I don't think I could survive a practical today :’)

DeezWatts: Me Me Achey Boy

BandaidArms: do you want me to bring anything to your room after school?

BandaidArms: I've got chocolate in my bag & I can make a hot water bottle V Easy

DeezWatts: I love u so much??

DeezWatts: pls I'm cry

BandaidArms: blessed up

DeezWatts: u wish u had a freak like this

Cutieshima: No I'm Good

Bakuslay: damn right <3

Cutieshima: h e c k <3

DeezWatts: my eyes?? Am I hallucinating??

BandaidArms: if you are i think i am too

Bakuslay: fuck you I can be affectionate

Cutieshima: stop dissing my boyfriend I love him and he's wonderful

Xenomorph: gay

Venonat: big mood

Venonat: speaking of, mina I have your daily 'hhuh,, boneless fam???’ interaction

Whomst: don't send it over pm I want this openly shared

Xenomorph: fksvksaksba u heard her,,

Venonat: if I die, I did it for  good cause



Guncle: yo hizashi why did you used to suck in a sharp breath every time someone beat you in a battle during school??

YEAH!!: Im attracted to anyone who can beat me the Fuck Up

Launt: this explains a lot

Guncle: like why you're married to shouta

No: i mean..

YEAH!!: He hasn't beat me up that often!!!

Guncle: when we were in class, you walked up to me, sat down and went 'tensei he just decked me I think I'm in love?’

Launt: I'm pulling a receipt of first year also 'in our team duel he fucking suplexed me oh God’

Guncle: 'Screm: Yo did u see him,, he just punched me in the face,,’

Guncle: 'Zoom: yh u ok???’

Guncle: 'Screm: rlly gay,, pls send backup’

No: those were all combat scenarios

YEAH!!: you've only punched me in the face once out of a combat scenario and that was because I crept up behind you on your birthday to try & hug you

No: you've learned from your mistakes

Shinson: yo what the fuck


Venonat: ur welcome

Xenomorph: saved, screenshotted, engraved on my tombstone

Infernape: I

Infernape: I want to call out mic but,,

Venonat: the mood is intense

Venonat: @ Pure you flipped me in our tournament & I cried for like 5 minutes because I'm Super Gay

Venonat: but also only 5 minutes because mashirao is,, cute,, as shit,,,,,

Infernape: fegkvKbdkeba

Whomst: can confirm!!!

Venonat: you're adorable too

Whomst: h e cK!

Venonat: both of my partners are adorable I'm dragging you into my hell

Pure: it's okay Shinsou it's a mood!!!

Pure: my partners are super cute too I love them!!!!

Run™: I Need to Leave Immediately

Vulpix: o h,,

DeezWatts: wait shinsou why are you in a group with the teachers?


Venonat: YEET

Venonat is now idle


Momo is no longer idle

Momo: The Common Room Is Set Up To Murder A Little Bitch

Momo: Oh this wasn't the right channel! My apologies!!!!

BandaidArms: no please continue I'm interested

Momo: We caught M*neta :/

Momo: Again ://

DeezWatts: Hello It's Murder Time :)

Pure: mineta is trying to start some shit

Vulpix: fight him

Run™: I'm typically against violence but please Beat The Shit Out Of Him

Momo: We intend to!! :D

Momo: However it has come to my attention that it may be bad for us to do so :(

Momo: So we're not going to kill him

Rowlet: :/

Momo: Yes it is a shame

Momo: But we will be punching him :)

Momo: A Lot :))



Kewwo: He's Trying To Attach Himself To My Girlfriend To Escape

Kewwo: F o o l

Space: pls remove him :////

Space: I'm floating to remove myself

Pure: Get Away From My Best Friend

Run™: I'm Calling The Police

Run™: @ Shamwow

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: I'm already halfway there

Kewwo: blessing

Shamwow: I'm Going To Expel His Entire Being

Shamwow: or at least send him to another fucking class this is ridiculous

Shamwow: Like a goddamn disciplinary class

Shamwow: with just him and three posters of all might staring disapprovingly

Stronft is no longer idle

Stronft: Can Provide

Pure: what happened to your name?

Stronft: Aizawa.

Shamwow: I don't come here to be called out I come here to Expel Children

Shamwow: speaking of

Shamwow: @ Cryptid I'd like to file a complaint

Cryptid is no longer idle

Cryptid: I'm sending Midnight with your expulsion papers

Shamwow: Ah Yes

Shamwow: My Old Friends

Cryptid: Has he faced several warnings yet?

Shamwow: I've send a grand total of Over Ten to his parents and have replied messages back

Shamwow: some are 'hes doing nothing wrong’

Shamwow: others are 'im sorry he's a little shit’

Shamwow: they are going from the former to the latter steadily as the year goes on

Cryptid: understandable have a nice day

Cryptid: have them back to me asap :^)

Shamwow: You Know I Will

Vulpix: me @ mineta’s parents: hey y’all take constructive criticism?

Vulpix: How to improve Mineta Minoru: Cease Production

DeezWatts: fksgksBKdvaksvka

Shamwow: alrighty girls you've had your fun

BoomBoomPow: but I was just,,

Shamwow: Jirou

Chloroform is no longer idle

Chloroform: whoever did that is gr8 but sweetheart u gotta stop

Chloroform: too much paperwork

Shamwow: I need to silence the channel, one moment.

BoomBoomPow: see u on the other side guys

Shamwow has temporarily closed the channel for 0300 hours

Heckity heck it's time to pecc channel re-opened at 1800 hours!


DeezWatts: HOlY S H I T !

Kewwo: Can we talk about how much I love our new fake adopted dad

Vulpix: What happened?

Rowlet: The evil is defeated.

Xenomorph: He's GONE

BoomBoomPow: I was bleSSED!!


Momo: I love you too!!

Pure: bye bye little rat bitch

Run™: Language!!

Run™: Although yes I'm quite glad that's done :D

Shamwow is no longer idle


Shamwow: Alright kids

Shamwow: Seeing as there's a vacancy in our class we're having a student move up.

Shamwow: logically this would be someone from class 1-B but Blood King Lost A Bet and the Principal insisted that due to his skill during the tournament and progress made since then

Shamwow: Thankfully I don't have to add him here, Shinsou Hitoshi is now officially a member of UA’s class 1-A.

Banoodle is no longer idle


YELL HEAH!!!!!!!

Shamwow: alright I'll drag your English teacher away for you all to celebrate

Shamwow: congrats kid

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle is now idle

Venonat: I'm not crying it's just ur imagination


Infernape: I love my boyfriend

Whomst: I love my boyfriend too

Venonat: me, sobbing

Cutieshima: hell yeah!!! Welcome to the class dude :DDD

DeezWatts: welcome to 1-a shinsou u deserve it!!

BandaidArms: what my bf said :)


Run™: It would be better to do this in person I believe :)

Whomst: u r ight

Xenomorph: everyone in 1-a’s common room!!!! We ceLEBRATE T O N I G HT!!

Cutieshima: wait but kouda spoke

Rowlet: ;)

Rowlet: shh

Cutieshima: bUT

Tentacruel: It's Best Not To Ask Questions.

Chapter Text

Rumour come out, does Mic is gay? -M channel


Chloroform: this article is fucking hilarious

Banoodle: the Bruno Mars one or my Legitimate version

Chloroform: urs

Chloroform: “It has been shockingly revealed that the lovable voice hero Present Mic (also known as Yamada Hizashi) has been wearing a ring upon his person! Not just any ordinary ring- the nature of this ring seems to indicate a marital status. Who is this seemingly open book married to? Many speculate different people. However, when asked about his spouse, the voice hero has simply brushed it off with the comment “I've said the words 'I’m bisexual, and Hella Taken’ more times than I've played Smash Mouth’s All Star on my radio station and that is a metric [REDACTED] tonne”

Banoodle: I accidently said 'my darling kitten’ in reference to shouta once and my entire team laughed at me for a week while the reports flooded in

Shamwow: good

Chloroform: wait there's another article

Shamwow: oh boy

Chloroform: “One stunned reader speculates 'Mic is totally [REDACTED] married to that god damn scruffy teacher from UA. Have you seen them interact. I saw them in public and mic full on stole scruffy guy’s coffee from his hands before immediately telling him it was horrible.’ This speculation that the voice hero is in a homosexual relationship has caused shock through the hero fanbase community.”

Banoodle: oh my god


Banoodle: I S A I D M Y P A R T N E R W A S M A L E

Shamwow: oh suprise, the media, causing uproar, who would've guessed

Banoodle: get ur salty ass out my home

Shamwow: no you

Banoodle: that's fair

Banoodle: Babe can I just make an announcement


Shamwow: s ur e,,

Banoodle: fuck y e ah!!!

Banoodle: u don't need to be in it too much if u don't want to,,

Shamwow: it's fine

Banoodle: nice I'm going to kiss you now

Shamwow: uH

Banoodle is now idle

Shamwow: I can hear him running

Shamwow is now idle

Chloroform: cute but rip


Xenomorph has changed the chat name to YO SHIT channel


Xenomorph: mic with his hair down is my new religion

DeezWatts: oh my god a mood

Cutieshima: no gods only mic with his fuckgin hair down

Pure: good but consider

Pure: Aizawa with his hair up

Xenomorph: first i’d like to thank god(s) and secondly this 'jesus’ guy

BandaidArms: don't know him

DeezWatts: big mood, Who Is God?

FrenchSparkleParty: me

Tentacruel: aoyama get ur sparkly ass out

Murkrow: I Hate This Song

FrenchSparkleParty: G note~

Murkrow: I H A T E T H I S S O N G

Vulpix: I think that's the most emotion you've ever expressed

Tentacruel: hypCOUGHcrite

Vulpix: what are you a koffing

Murkrow: This is the most insulting thing to ever happen to me

Cutieshima: you got to hug all might

Murkrow: ur right my depression was cured for 3 seconds and then it hit me full force when he let go

Pure: local sunshine dad

Vulpix: god I wish that were me

Pure: he's your dad too now, my dad your dad, my boyfriend(s)’ dad @ Stronft adopt my boyfriends

Stronft is no longer idle

Stronft: I can't Aizawa is trying

Vulpix: you what

Stronft: WAIT

Stronft: SHIT

Run™: I'm so confused

Stronft is now idle

Pure: a l l m I G h  T??


Xenomorph: y’all mic is live streaming

DeezWatts: hhwAhT

Xenomorph: u know his official YouTube account

Xenomorph: like he never uses it personally and he's legit livestream rn



Xenomorph: I'm scrambling to piece together their entire life story from what little I can see of the house I'm screaming

Whomst: mic is sitting at the desk and Aizawa just came up behind him (face not on screen), signed for a few seconds and then left when mic gave him a thumbs up I'm confused

Bakuslay: he was telling shouty man that he was going to start making dinner


Cutieshima: babe t hank u,,,,

Space: ooooH!! Noooo I can't watch it!!!!! Can you t r anscribe I'm screaming!!!!!!!!!!!

Xenomorph: I got u swety

Xenomorph: my WiFi is fast for this reason alone

Xenomorph: “So recently there's been a bit of news about me around. Don't know how you listeners found out about me even carrying an actual ring on me considering I always wear rings anyway.”

DeezWatts: he really does

Cutieshima: once he was out of uniform and I saw him and he was wearing like,, a ring on m ost fingers I was genuinely scared

Tentacruel: local soft rock boy fears teacher wearing many rings

Cutieshima: fksgskavakava

Xenomorph: “And so Yamada Hizashi has only one thing to say to this confusion!”

Cutieshima: hearing mic’s actual name makes me uncomfortable on several levels

BoomBoomPow: ooo big mood

Xenomorph: he just started playing the friends song

Xenomorph: but instead of 'so no one told you life was gonna be this way’ it goes “So no one told you- I M G A Y

Whomst: Aizawa started laughing in the background what the fuck,,,

Kewwo: There He Is

Murkrow: depression? Cureable? More likely than you'd think

Tentacruel: I'm coming to ur room

Murkrow: that's fair

Xenomorph: “Some of your support had been amazing!! I love all you guys!! Serious stuff aside it took me soooooooooo long to stop wanting to tell all you lovely listeners about him asap!!! But I have three jobs, right? One is my radio show, where I get to talk to all you beautiful people and help you, or just play music which I absolutely adore!

Xenomorph: I'm dmgshksvak the audio just crackled I think he used his quirk

Whomst: lol yeah he's laughing

Whomst: he's fixing the audio, Aizawa is back on screen

BoomBoomPow: watching people actually know how to fix sound devices is my new religion

Momo: You watch this all the time..

BoomBoomPow: b a be,,,

Cutieshima: outed as a long time techno worshipper

Whomst: audio is back!!!!!

Xenomorph: “Ohmygod I'm so sorry!! My bad!!!!! I get excited!”

DeezWatts: our loud parental unit #3 is so fucking adorable

Space: could've been phrased better

DeezWatts: I state the facts

BandaidArms: yesterday you said 'Barry B. Benson was hot’

DeezWatts: I don't take it back, Barry B. Benson could yaoi me the fuck up

BandaidArms: I want to break up

DeezWatts: nvm

Xenomorph: “Anyway!!!! Hey- oh where was i- babe? What part did it cut out at?”

Kewwo: Aizawa? Speaking? In a video? In my good Buddhist server????

Xenomorph: “You got excited about the radio show and talking to people.”

Space: it's more likely than you think,,

Xenomorph: “Oh yeah! Thanks kitten- anyway! I've also got teaching!! Tonnes of you know I'm the head of English-” wait hE IS?

DeezWatts: we literally have like,, no other qualified English teachers

Space: sHHH!!

Kewwo: are we not commenting on Kitten?

Space: lATER!!!!

Kewwo: understandable have a nice day

Xenomorph: sor R y

Xenomorph: “- and I teach most of the students in UA. It's one of my favourite things to do- even if it's a little stressful-

A: “Yesterday you marked a student down for creative swearing”

Bakuslay: that's me

Cutieshima: I'm proud u admit that but,, babe,,

Bakuslay: I'm not ashamed of a r t

DeezWatts: you're making me uncomfortable with memes which scares me more

Bakuslay: Good.

BandaidArms: I'll protect you denki, just,,, don't look

DeezWatts: he protec,,, but he also attac,, most importantly,, he sticc villain's bacc

BandaidArms: I take it all back you can instill fear in his heart and soul

DeezWatts: ;A; babe why

Bakuslay: >:)

DeezWatts: (/;A;)/ babe help

BandaidArms: take back the Barry B Benson thing then

DeezWatts: never,,,

BandaidArms: Then Perish.


Y: “And you wouldn't”

A: “ Touché

Y: “- anyway. My third job is obviously being a hero!! Being a hero for me is being there for someone- protecting them when they can't protect themselves and being their support. Someone reliable to lean on when they need it.”

Xenomorph: “Some people don't need us to just.. punch a villain and take them in. Some demons are a lot harder for fight, they're in your head and they don't go away until you're strong enough to make them. I wanted to be that person for people. The thing about being a hero is that you do protect people. And as much as I wanted to tell you all how wonderfully married I was to the person I love the most in the world- I needed to protect him too.”

Space: I'm not crying you are

Whomst: I'm not ashamed of it

Cutieshima: big mood thi s is,,, the most fufkgin manly thing,,, g od

Xenomorph: “So anyway!! My loving beautiful husband has started the preparation known as 'dinner’ and im going to do my good husbandly duties and help him out!! Any questions can be sent through anonymously- or signed!!- to my radio station via e-mail and really any kind of social media, as always tags and links are below, but most importantly, stay safe listeners!!”

Xenomorph: that was the purest thing I've seen

Space: I was blessed thank you for the transcriptions

Kewwo: can we talk about kitten now

Space: yes!!! Holy shit!!!!!!!

Xenomorph: b ig mood I saved it

Whomst: I've seen like

Whomst: 3 comps of 'mic being Hella gay’ on YouTube and I'm disappointed there aren't more

Whomst: @ Venonat does Aizawa even exist on the internet

Venonat is no longer idle

Venonat: I've seen some cursed things yeah

Venonat: honestly the most 'eraserhead’ has appeared on the internet before The Conferences™ was because of confused people who'd seen him at night

Venonat: my personal favourite was one of his neighbours I think?

Xenomorph: please elaborate

Pure: Oh no

Venonat: so whenever Aizawa had to go on patrol he obviously just yeeted himself out a window or something but this guy was 100% convinced that every night a random spirit would jump across his roof to curse him

Pure: I saw this thread it's,,,

Pure: questionable,,

Venonat: he installed motion lights and the one time Aizawa set them off there's a 5 second clip of him skidding to a half, capture weapon flying up and then the camera visuals just cutting out to nothing

Venonat: my faux-father is the internet’s strangest cryptid

Xenomorph: I'm C ackling????

Venonat: there's also an entire blog based off sightings of 'strange midnight roof jumper??’

Venonat: weirdest post on there is 'just watched him vault himself onto telephone wires and am now crying, Google search: I want the cryptid to step on me??’

Whomst: how do you find all this????

Venonat: The Veil Is Thin

Cutieshima: well that's not questionable at all

Murkrow: He's Correct, but have you ever heard of a thick veil?? There aren't just OoOOO Spooky Ghost Padding Between Worlds

Venonat: good point, but it's Thin™

Tentacruel: like thin mints thin or just,, lasagna sheets

DeezWatts: what the fuck is happening

Venonat: Do Not Question The Width Of The Veil

Murkrow: Maybe I Want To

Venonat: Face The Repercussions

Rowlet: O̶̺̟̖̺̦͎̣͙̪̺̺̫͇͔̮̳͚ͧ̃ͤ̏ͨ̐̌ͦ͠͝ͅw̵̧̥̭̪͈̲̗̹̝̼̮̠̮͇̻̩͂͑ͣ̇ͣ͋ͪͪͅǪ̵̹̬̘͓̦̫̇͊̓̈́͊͊ͩ͊̿ͮ̈́̎̌ͤ́̚͝

DeezWatts: is anyone else seeing this or am I actually just astrally projecting?

DeezWatts: what the fuck

Rowlet: (̨ͭ̓̾̊́͛ͮͯ̑͛̂̊̂̽̍ͤ͏̣̯̝̜̙̙̠̬̮͉̟͕̠̳̝͡/̛ͦ̿̆͂̔͂͂͒̊͋͂҉͓̪͈͕͈̰̗̲͉̯°̶̩̹̙̰͇̻͎̼̘̈͑̓̍͡w̵̶̸̤̦̭͕̩̩̰͚̞͉̙̲͂̇̋ͪ°̴̷̟̜̥̠̜̹̪̦͆̂ͥ̂̄͟ͅ)̅ͭ̾̄̊͛ͭ̆̂ͩ̅̀̑̚̚͏̛̛͏̮̠̖̫̰̳̱̮͈͉̮̥̙/̡̨͍̱͍̤͔̫̩̻̽ͩͥ̎ͫ͗ͧ͋̒̅̍͒̈́̌̓̄ͦ͠

DeezWatts: gUYS?????

DeezWatts: WhaT THE FUCK???

Murkrow: A ̵͘Co͘͝r҉͢͡p̴̕o̡͟r̡a̸l̷̶̶ M̵͡o̸r̶̵̛t̡a̸l̶͟ ̡͢҉H͘as ̴̡͞E͘͞n͏̸̡t҉͢e͜r̷͠e̢͟͡d ̶͝Our ͢͡Į͟͝n̴ B̧e̶t̨͢w̷e͞e͠͠n͠

DeezWatts: so no one sees  this like at all

̕Tentacruel: N̨̡͢͠o̸̧ ͘O͡n̶̢e̕͟ ̡̕͟͟͜W͢͞i̴̵l̵̶ļ̸͘͡ ̡̧͞B̛͞e̷͟͠l̸̶͏͜i̢͜҉͡e͘͜͠v̨̕͏͟e̢̡͝ ͏͟H̷̵i̧͢͝҉m̕͢͠҉

DeezWatts: Just me?̼

Venonat:Ḃ̝͚͙̊̃̒ͫ̈́e̞̪̱̟͈ͯ̇̀ ͔͕͔͈͇͑ͨ̎̂͢ͅC͒͆ͧ́̏̐a̴̬̭̫͗ͯͮͯ̀̆ͬu̬̻̽͛̊ͫ͗ͯͤt̡͑̍̈͒ͥi̟͑̽o̡͎̙͕ͣ̀͂̒ͬ͐͊u͉ͭͬ̀̒̇̓͝s̠̺̤͕̝͋̇͛

Shamwow is no longer idle̻

S̢͜͡h̷̸̢a̶͞m͘w̴̵o̡̕͝w̕͝: s̶̴̢̛̛t̸̛ơ̡͘p̵͟ ͟͞f̵̷͘͞͏u̧̕͘҉̢ç͟͝k̡͘͘͟͡i̛͟n͏̴͞g̵͞͏͟͝ ̶̢w̷̴͠͏͜i̸̷̴͜͢t҉҉̕͡h̴̡͝ ̕͟҉t̸̡͡h̷̶̢̧̢ę̧͘͝ ͜͝v̴̛͡e̷̸̡̕͠i̡҉l͝͠

Venonat: fine

Murkrow: what veil

Tentacruel: don't know her

Rowlet: UvU!!

Shamwow is now idle


Xenomorph: u alright???


Whomst: see what

DeezWatts: w H a t  th e f u c K


Direct message - Rowlet to DeezWatts


Rowlet:Ỷͬ̎̓̓͋͛҉̠̱͚̖̹O͈̯̊̂̽͋̂Ȕ́ͦ ͇̰͍͕͕͚̜̅͑̄ͣ͛Ŝ̋A̙̲̹̰͗͠W̶̍ͪͤ̈́̍ ͉̏̅̚̕N͔͖ͧͯ̌ͣ̐O̡̟T̪̜̼̼̞̰̙ͨ̋̉́͆H̞͞I͔̺̙̯͇̻̒̽̔ͧ͛̈́ͣ͠N̸͕͎͇̩͂Gͯ̓̇


Direct message closed.

DeezWatts: fear,,

Chapter Text

Cutieshima: discussion topic: can Aizawa use Christmas lights as his capture weapon?

Venonat: kfvskagskdvka

DeezWatts: in fuckgib laughing

DeezWatts: *yeets entire chain of lights across the street* HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Vulpix: discuss: is Aizawa santa then

Vulpix: he doesn't use reindeer he just swings around and hurls presents through people's windows

DeezWatts: fksgaksgka I M

Venonat: yeet take some property damage

Venonat: wait

Infernape: I can't believe your dad has done this to my good home

Whomst: betrayed by our own boyfriend’s father

Vulpix: I really need someone to clarify if Shinsou is actually related to Aizawa or not because I Have Questions

Pure: @ Venonat please, confirm?

Venonat: wait I just

Venonat: give me a moment this can't be real

Venonat is now idle

DeezWatts: ???

DeezWatts: @ Infernape, @ Whomst where ur bf going??

Whomst: he said he needed to check The Apartment

Infernape: The Apartment being Aizawa’s joint room/home thing to the dorms

Infernape: I'm concerned

Vulpix: Just Give Me The Confirmation Please

Pure: shouto

Pure: you can't keep making headcanons for pro heroes

Vulpix: Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do

Pure: fine, give me one headcanon you know I'll agree with

Vulpix: Aizawa Is A Big Soft Dad

Pure: that's just canon

Vulpix: but he hasn't confirmed it -m-

Pure: y ou r e right

Venonat is no longer idle

Venonat: Big Regretti

Venonat: Aizawa Can Use Lights Like His Capture Weapon

Pure: how does he levitate things im

Vulpix: yeah

Xenomorph: I legit thought It was just his scarf or something but,, apparently not?

Whomst: why would his hair lift with his scarf

Xenomorph: leave me alone

Venonat: p sure it's a minor secondary quirk


Vulpix: look what you've done

Run™: You've activated his trap card

Vulpix: Intense Fan Session Activate

Pure: Those are so rare though I'm genuinely shaken

Pure: though

Pure: it does make sense seeing as it's quite minor in power, it doesn't have a secondary trigger and activates at the same time as erasure which clearly links the dna strand

Run™: Izuku..

Pure: so its clearly genetic but if it had a secondary trigger would that just mean he would have two quirks?

Vulpix: babe

Pure: do you think if it was enhanced or something he'd be able to float stuff like ochaco? Although her quirk his anti-gravity maybe his is just the levitation? Or reversing gravity so it pushed instead of pulled? Which could be interesting considering he uses his scarves

Venonat: so I'd like to apologise

Pure: that actually explains how he's able to use his capture weapon so easily

Cutieshima: whose boy is this

Pure: but then again they are made of an alloy

Run™ is now idle

DeezWatts: me, whispering: big mood tenya

Vulpix: he's going to go put on a sweater u asshole

DeezWatts: My Bad Homie

Space: iiizzuuuuukkuuuuuuu

Space: c hIll!!! I'm sure he'd answer questions

Pure: unlikely

Space: if you made Shinsou do it

Pure: more likely

DeezWatts: wait but can we go back to Aizawa being able to use the lights like his capture weapon

Xenomorph: yeah wait what the fuck did you see

Venonat: I'm Cursed

Pure: understandable

Xenomorph: not understandable What Did You See?

Venonat: one of two things could have been happening to be fucking honest

Venonat: It could've been him trying to decorate? Maybe? He doesn't like big holiday things like Crisismas To That Extent though??

DeezWatts: crisismas

Venonat: He also could literally have been taking lights away from Yamada

Venonat: As in

Venonat: Present Mic Attempts To Decorate Aizawa's Dark Cave

Venonat: Aizawa Rebels

Venonat: Takes Mic’s Weapon Of Light

Venonat: Mic Attempts To Retake His Trophy

Venonat: Chaos

Xenomorph: Chaos being….?

Venonat: Aizawa proceeds to fucking wrap up, tie and bind Yamada effectively in Fairy Lights.

Stronft is no longer idle

Stronft: Yamada just activated his SOS signal and has texted both Midnight and Tensei scrambled, nonsensical messages for the past 5 minutes, is he alright?

Pure: Aizawa

Stronft: Oh

Stronft: Did he fall prey to 'i have a string of lights and I'm not afraid to use them’ too?

Pure: what

Stronft: what

Vulpix: what

DeezWatts: what

Whomst: what

Venonat: Fucking Hell

Venonat: how much holiday shit has he tied you guys up in?

Stronft: U H h, ,

Stronft: I Plead The American Fifth

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto

Shamwow: tell them what you've done

Venonat: Jesus how much of his Wrath did you envoke

Stronft: probably Too Much

Stronft: ectoplasm started blasting Christmas music & they began karaoke

Venonat: This Explains A Lot

Venonat: Mariah Carey?

Stronft: Mariah Carey.

Boo is no longer idle

Boo: maybe Mariah Carey will be their always

Boo is idle

Shamwow: No, Come Back Here Right Now Young Man

Shamwow is now idle

DeezWatts: was that,,, ectoplasm???

Xenomorph: What Is He Doing??

Stronft: running I Hope

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: I'm frEEEE!!


Murkrow: why do you have 5 meters worth of tinsel

Banoodle: honestly, I can't answer that

Banoodle: I make intensely poor decisions.

Murkrow: oof

Tentacruel: big mood

FrenchSparkleParty: Enlarged Emotion

Infernape: why have you cursed us?

Run™ is no longer idle

Run™: I'm looking out my window. What do I see?

Run™: Aizawa, the man who I have Vague- Plausibly Fond- Memories Of, chasing and Effectively defeating clones & Ectoplasm Himself with Tinsel.

Run™: I would like a Refund on my adopted faux-family members, these ones are Broken.

DeezWatts: family machine broke

Run™: Understandable Have A Nice Day.

Run™ is now idle

Vulpix: regret.png

Pure: honestly

Xenomorph: im fksvdkahska he's not wrong I just looked out the window

Whomst: mic,, sir are you going to be warm enough?

Banoodle: If Tank Tops And Leather Jackets Cannot Keep Me Warm Then Nothing Will

Stronft: you came into work wearing a sweater, scarf and a hat, where did they Go?

Banoodle: I have an image

Banoodle: an image I must Maintain

Stronft: I've opened the wrong can of worms

Banoodle: it's called The Big Bisexual Package

Banoodle: It includes a lot of leather, puns, and finger guns

Banoodle: and I'm Intent on Keeping my 30 Year Subscription

DeezWatts: breaking news, present mic was born wearing full leather, busting puns & finger gunning at everyone in the room

Banoodle: tksbkssvlsdvjfsksva

Stronft: Understandable have a nice time getting frozen weari

Stronft: Yamada what are you actually wearing

Banoodle: Hatsune miku tank top, leather jacket, shouta's fucking tracksuit bottoms, heeled boots.

Banoodle: Do We Have A Problem?

Stronft: I'm asking Kan where he keeps his alcohol

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: I pmed you.

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle: shouta,,,

Banoodle: I'm both proud of my husband and Utterly Disappointed

Xenomorph: wait the pink tracksuits are Aizawa's??

Space: Let Him Vogue

Banoodle: My fashion taste is eccentric but these are loose and baggy and therefore almost 98% assuredly Not Mine

Banoodle: doesn't mean I'm not going to steal them they're v comfy, stolen clothing is 100% more comfortable than ur own, stats boost if stolen from an S/O.

Pure: Can Confirm

Vulpix: I still don't have my hoodie back

Pure: my hoodie now

Vulpix: I can live with that, but you have to give Tenya his scarf at some point

Pure: you just want it

Vulpix: I Really Want The Scarf,,

Pure: We can share the scarf

Vulpix: Gracious Gift,,

Xenomorph: are u trying to confront him?? I don't understand,, mic,,,

Banoodle: it's not working but I'm using husband powers

Whomst: you're standing w/ ur hands on ur hips and staring at him Taking Down your fellow teachers

Banoodle: it's called pouting in the cold until his spouse instincts act up because I love him and he's being a drama queen

Banoodle: also because he's Really Damn Good at fighting people (read: slam dunking them)

Venonat: I'm going to stand with you

Banoodle: idk it's cold out here kid

Venonat: I'm stealing your sweater

Banoodle: that's fair you wore a t-shirt in to school today like a Fool

Venonat: it's not too bad,,

Banoodle: It Is December.

Venonat: I didn't expect the cold outside to outmatch the cold on the inside

Murkrow: Weak, not emo enough

Venonat: Dark shadow acts like a Sun Umbrella & Heats You

Murkrow: Not Emo Enough

Tentacruel: boys please

Tentacruel: You're both emo.

Infernape: just different brands

Murkrow: There Is Only One

Infernape: incorrect, I heard you call snipe a 'soft cowboy bebop emo boy’ yesterday

Murkrow: shit

Murkrow: betrayed by my own meme

Venonat: suck it

Banoodle: play nice toshi

Venonat: :/

Banoodle: Hitoshi

Venonat: fine,,

Vulpix: I Really Really Want Some Clarification Please.

Banoodle: for what

Vulpix: Is Shinsou actually related to aizawa, have y’all adopted him, Or Are You Just Intensely Parental

Banoodle: woah look at that shoutas spouse instincts kicked in g ottA blAst

Venonat: woah look at that Aizawa’s concerned teacher instincts kicked I Need To Leave Immediately.

Banoodle is now idle

Venonat is now idle

BandaidArms: Todoroki getting his questions swerved daily is a big mood

Xenomorph: no, the real mood here is Todoroki saying 'y’all’

Vulpix: Please I Just Want Answers

Chapter Text

Whomst: i just opened the card kendou gave me (I lost it rip) and it says 'Happ Christetsutetsumas’

Cutieshima: He's a Good Man and deserves to be Loved and Appreciated

DeezWatts: ur not wrong about class b Kirishima

Cutieshima: stop,,

Xenomorph: yeah Class B Kirishima is p nice, but have you ever hugged Class A Tetsutetsu?

Cutieshima: I hate this entire class

DeezWatts: incorrect, you love and support all of us

Cutieshima: me, breathing deeply: ur not fuCkIgn w rOng

BandaidArms: that's gay dude

Cutieshima: ur also not wrong there m’bro

Xenomorph: m’bro

Whomst: m’homie

BandaidArms: m’homo

Cutieshima: *tips sexuality* m’homo

Xenomorph: dksvsksja

Bakuslay: what the fuck


Bakuslay: I'm fucking hallucinating

Bakuslay: weed b-day came early

Xenomorph: weed b-day came early

Bakuslay: My Birthday Is Weed Day Do We Have A Fucking Problem Racoon Eyes

Cutieshima: I saw him accidentally type 'broblem’ instead of problem

Bakuslay: fuCK YOU

Cutieshima: I love you too

DeezWatts: we got a broblem bro?

BandaidArms: I bknow how we can brix this

Cutieshima: Idk if I should feel called out by my own realisation this is how I type

Xenomorph: bro we’re bringing u to a brevelation

Bakuslay: this meme isn't even making sense anymore

Whomst: since we've worn down the meme, let's talk about how present mic attempted to full on kiss mr Aizawa in front of the class today

DeezWatts: I waS LATE HE DID WHAT?

Xenomorph: fksvkBFLABAKB

Xenomorph: big fuckgin mood denki,,

DeezWatts: that's my full name how did u kno

Xenomorph: >:3c

Vulpix: Aizawa is rubbing off on you

Xenomorph: never in my life have I ever seen him use the cat emoji at any point

Xenomorph: also mic trynna kiss Aizawa dhskdvja

Vulpix: okay then we're pulling in The Big Guns

Vulpix: @ Run™ , @ Venonat

Run™ is no longer idle

Run™: Do you require any assistance?

Venonat is no longer idle

Run™: Or is this another bet..

Venonat: I'll bet it's a bet

Run™: I'm not trying to encourage the betting

Venonat: just encourage the betting iida

Venonat: your brother encourages the betting

Run™: I am not my brother

Run™: But he is trying his best let him be

Venonat: he encouraged me to bet on whether or not Mic woke up crying because he remembered he was married to Aizawa

Run™: to be fair he did wake up crying because he remembered he was married to Mr Aizawa

Venonat: touché

Venonat: but did you bet?



Run™: So what did you require us for?

Vulpix: I have

Vulpix: So Many Questions

BandaidArms: watch him get most of them swerved

Vulpix: this is cyber bullying and I'm calling Papa John's to come arrest you right now

BandaidArms: dfbsksbsskJFGSKSHA

DeezWatts: somehow todoroki memeing is more surreal than bakugou memeing,,

Murkrow: we are all,,, surreal

DeezWatts: edgy

Tentacruel: you've described his personality in one word

Murkrow: i

Murkrow: why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?


DeezWatts: everyone who surreally memes is officially an eldritch being and I Do Not trust them

Network connection limited or unavailable

Network connection limįt̨ed̛ ̛or͡ u͞n̢a̶̧v͡͡a̡̡͢͠i̷̵̧͟l̸̵͘͡a̡̕͠b̷͝l҉ȩ̕͏

N͟͡e҉̸t̨w͢͝o̧̧͘͏r͏͏k̶͏ ̵͢͜͝͞c̸̶͜͟o͏͡ņ̶͞n̴̛͟e̡̡̡͢͝c̵̡̢͟͡t͜͟͡i̷͝҉̛͝o̢̧͡͞n͜͟͜͡ ҉͢l̷̨̕͜i̢͜͏̷̕m̵͡i̧͘͞ţ̴̡͟͢e͝͡d̨̡ ͡o͢͜҉̵r̷͜ ̶̢͢u̸ņ̢̛a͘͝͝v̴̸a͠҉̶͘͠i̶̛͘͢͡l̴̴̕͢a̵͏͝b͢͢͡͡l҉̸͢͜e̶ ̵

Murkrow: Wh̬͕͜y̭̳͖̤̥ ̰͉͈͡e̻͍͝v͔er͢ ͏̞̩̮͖͈w̖̫̫̤̖͞ͅo̹̪̖̼̭u̫̣̞͖̹l̴̫̺̰͔̠̞ͅd̺͔͙͔ͅ ̗̠͚̯̲̻y͙̯̲o̴̠̝̼̠͈̩͕u ̭s̨̹̪͎̮̼̼a͉̭̹̲̟̕y͈ ̡̩͕̜̙ͅt̡͎h̴͖̼̞̗̗̪a͎̥̘̠̦̟̘t?͈͉̪̼̤


Bakuslay: Wh͜͞͝y̵ ̨th̵̛͘ȩ ͟fuc̶k͢ ͏d̵͜͠o̸͝e̸҉͞s ̛͘h͜͠e ̵k̕͠n̷͟͡o͜͝w̡?̢

Vulpix: Ḋ̼͔̹̅͒͋ô͓̤̦̯͔̘͈ͦ̊͑ͮn̤͓̾'̾t̩̠̘͈ͦ͆̋͒ͭ̀̽ ͫl͈̬̘̜͖̔ͅo̰̼̅ͦ͒͋͌oͧ̃͂̚ͅk͎̖͎̫͎̆̚ ̪͍̳͇̋͐̽̓̈̉ǎ͙̻͎̍͆ͫ͛̂͊t̖̘̉ͦ̔ͭ̑ ̖͔͉̥m̰̊̆̾ͬ̚e͉̲͗̋ͩ́ͮ,̮́ͧ ͈̗̀̅͒Ï̇ͦ̈̄̆ ̹̙̐͐̊̎ͧ̇h̓ͭ͗͋̐͌a̠͒̑ͦ̊v͓͉ͮ͐͆͆͑̊ͭe̲͚̰̪͉͚͐̇̇̈ͭ͊ͦn̠̑ͭ'ͩ͒͐ͭ̀t̰̤͔̞̘ͤ̀̔̈͋̚ ̩̭̩̦ͅf͔͙̥̜̤ͦ̆u̪̼͎̪c̙̫̹̫̠̏́̏ͅk̘͚̊̍̌͒ͦͪͪē͈̋͆͋ͅd̼ͣ̔ͯ͛ͅ ̤̙͕̤̻̪̏̋ͪͩ̓ͯw͇̲͉̻̹̆i̘ͦ͆̄ͬ͛̚t̩̄̒ḫ͔ͥͥ̊̎ ͣ͂ͪt̜̮̺͔̑̑̈h͈̾͐͑̆ͫ͋̊ȇ̗ͫͯͨ ͔͆ͧͅv̓͐͆͋ẽ̌ͭ̽̃̐͆i̪̖̲͆̿̎ͮḻ͙̪͈͔ͪ̏͗͊̅ ̜̲̘͒ṡ͎̻̩̹͉͕́in̥̟͙͎͕̔̋͛̃̿̚cͣ͌ͧe͈͉̎͆ ̰̰̟̗̙l̹͕̳̣͔͋̂̊̊̈̊͊a͔͐̋ͪṣ͉͕͖̘̖ͫ͑͐̇̄t͇̭͎̆̒ͩ ͙̐ͩͧͤṃ͎̻ȏ͙̠͗ǹ̜̩̯̹͖̂̏ͬͥ̈͂t͖̦͑̉̾̚h̟̗̓͌̾̑̓ͅ

Bakuslay: Yͧͨ̿͌͛́o͊̊̓ͨűr͗̀̓͂ͣ̍ͮ ͣ̎ͣ̅ͪ̒f̀̓̈̌͑u̽̌ͪc͑k͆ͭ̅ͤͦi̇ng̓ v̀ȅͯȉ̈̑̓lͬͧ̽̀̔ ̉̉sͩ͒͗ͬh̎̑ȋͯ̒t̎̊ͩ͊ ́̓͌̅ͭ͑iͨ̊̆s̔̉ ͭhô̽r͆͊͛ͦ͐̽͆rͦ̏͌iͫͯb͌l̓̊͊ͣẽ̒̌ͣͯ̃̾ t̊͋̍̂ͦo͆̆͂̓ ͐́̈́l̊͆ͨ͐ͨ͛̒ōoͮͭ̎̄̈̇k ͬ̎ͪ͛ͤ́̇a͗͋̀t͑,̆ͧ ̂̍̔̽͑h̉ͦ͛̄ͪ͋̚a̒̿lfͥ ̾nͩ ̐͆ḣa̍̄ͣ̃̽̂l͗ͥ̎̐ͮ͌f͒ͭͧ̔ ̽


Tentacruel: I͞ tho̧u̧gh̕t͞ we k̵i͠c͢ked ̧h͠i͢m ̨ǫu͡t҉?

Murkrow: C̵͘l̨̢͡͡e̵͘̕a̧̧r͟ļ͡y̷̵͘͡ ̸̶̕n͏̵͢͜o҉͜t̢͘͟͟͝

DeezWatts: I w ant,,, a l l of m y p arenta l un it s,,

Venonat: A̵r̕͢͝e̷ ͢͠y̷o͞ư ͜no͝t҉ ͞w͠o҉̨͠rr҉̨ię͏͞d ab҉o͞҉ut͜͏͠ ̢͘͏E̢r̴a͡s̶e͟r̕͢ c̡͜ǫ̴̡m̧̧҉i̷͢ng ͢i̸n̷̶ ͘͟t̨o ̧̕͘i̵͟n҉̴̢t̢͏e͟r͠҉v͡e͠n̨ę?

DeezWatts: I'm crying in the club tonight??

Rowlet: C͕͔e͚̥̖̭͇̩͜a̢̜̹͕͚͢ͅs̢̧͚̻̯̣ę̝͉̬̹͟ ҉̭͓͇̖̥͎C̵̲͚o͔̞̪̣͎͙͢m̡̖̥̭̭̺̜͍m͟҉͚̮̗̩̫̻͉ͅṳ̡̘̭n̞̰͙̜̹̩ḭ͉̞͍͉ͅc̴̸̫͚̜̗̺a̷͉͠t̲̥i҉̫̝n҉̸̫͍̩͞g̟͖͔͓ͅͅͅ ̭̫͍̰͓̤͘A̴͖͡ͅn̛̛͍̰̹͙̬̦̟d̟̠ͅ ͏͎̟͓̹̼̲ͅH̶͇̜̖̬̘͚e̞̜̲̳͕̫̕ ̻̕W̛̞̻̮̫̻̻͚̮i̶̹͕̝̜̣̤͠ͅl̪l͎̤͙̟̙̳͝ ̺̫͜H̨̨̳̻͍ą̴̭̝̳̰͇v̵҉̩͇̳e̯̥̪̰̱̩ ̻͕̩̠̟̕͝N̢̬̩̮̰o̡̲̫ ͏̵̮͔̭͝R̡͈͓̟̖e̞̠̙̮͚̤̫͖̼a҉̷͇͚̣͇͖s͙̥͕̞̠̭̯ͅo̧͙̘̲̹͓̕͜n̞̖̲̟̺̜̣ ̶͉͚̥̻͍̣̲ͅT͇͘͞ơ̤̱̠̲̹̪͉̘̜ ̢̜̞̬͟A͓̝̭͟p̧̭͠p̶̘͚̰͈ḛ̛̦̻͙͕͎̜͇a̢̨̳̦̤̬̘̝r̸͕̭̠̯͚͍̣

Tentacruel: S͡poi̶l ͞s̸po̧rt

S̢h̸am̨͘w̶o̢͡͝w i͞͡s͜ ͝҉no̧ ̶̛long͠҉e̢͜r ̛̛i̡d̢͠͏le҉͟

S̨͑̐ͤ̓͂̌̊ͨ̄̇̽̃́͗̓̆͟͟҉̢̘̮͈̯̤̼͈̯̯̪̮͎̭̻͖h̢̝̫͈̼̳̥̺͇̎ͫͧ͂̒̾a̡̧̘͍̰̮͚̬̳̬͓͕͍͈͔͕̩̺̘̅̅̆ͭ̀̉̉͢͞ͅm̴̯̣̳̣̗̰̥̼̥̹̏ͤ̾ͦ͆̃̾͠ͅw̴̨̨̡̝̩̰̺̻͍͔̫̲̭̦̱̣͇ͮ̋ͮ͆̋͝ͅǫ̡̨͚̞̘̬̩̳̻̯̬̗̰̹̮͇͖̱̓̒̿͆̎̿̽͑̊͐͡w̨̄͋̒̓̏ͧ̂͏͓͍̹̗̰̩̫̬̘̳̻̣̬̳̯͍̣̪̜ W̸̷̧͢h̡̛͜a͜͡͠t̵̕͠͞ ̕͞͞T̡͘͜h̶̨͘e̴̛͢͏ ̨̨F̵̢ư̕c̕k̷̵̡͝ ̷̛̛͡͡D̢͘͢i̡͡d̶̵̢͝ ͝͏I̷̢ ̛͏̡Ş̷̕͘a̡͟͡y̷̧̛͘ ̸̵͘͟A̵̴͝͡b̷̧̨͝o̴̷̢͢u̢̢̧̡t̶̸ ͘͢T͏͏̡̨h͏̨̧͟e͠҉̡͘ ͞F̷͡u̴͜͡c̶̛͟k͜͜͡͞i͘͡͝͠n̡͏̧͡͠g̶ ̢͞V̸̧͡e̷҉̸̛͝į̷̨l

Murkrow: not to fuck with it

Shamwow: good.

Tentacruel: gee dad, why do you let Shinsou have two veil fuckery sessions

Shamwow: gee son, why do you fuck up the veil in the first place?

Tentacruel: Touché.

Venonat: are we just

Venonat: are we releasing Kaminari??

Shamwow: yes what the fuck toshi

Shamwow: we’re not keeping socket boy

Venonat: :/

Shamwow is now idle

Network connection restored! Welcome back :D

DeezWatts: I want my m o m

DeezWatts: ur all elderitch beings and I'm fuckgin terrified

Cutieshima: bro u need some s leep


Xenomorph: lmao next you're gonna call kouda some kind of satan :PP

Rowlet: (/•-•)/ (/°~°)/ (/•∆•)/  \(ovo)/  \\\(°0°\\\)  \(èné\) \(°^°\)

Whomst: ur adorable kouda fkshsksba

DeezWatts: shifty eyes

Rowlet: (-_-)

DeezWatts: :T

Whomst: just bumped into snipe again while leaving school

Space: tbh just make that your constant status

Kewwo: she's not wrong tooru

Kewwo: you do keep bumping into him :p

BoomBoomPow: I was with her this time you didn't let her get to the best part

Xenomorph: owo what's this?

Whomst: he was muttering under his breath, bumped into us and went 'BOY HOWDY’ when he jumped

Whomst: I started giggling and he made a really weird inhumane noise before going “You try and escape the English teacher trying to snog their homeroom teacher and then you bump into them this is bullshit”

Whomst: so basically

Whomst: Mic keeps trying to kiss Aizawa on school premises right

Xenomorph: I'm jotting down notes, please, continue?

Whomst: so we went to ask the principal if that was normal or like,, allowed??

Whomst: turns out mic has done this every year for as long as they've been working here & his excuse is 'Can't get enough practice for midnight!!!’

Xenomorph: a big blessed piece of information

DeezWatts: oh yeah it's new years lol

Cutieshima: h

Cutieshima: how did you forget??

DeezWatts: busy freaking out over elderitch classmates

BandaidArms: understandable have a nice day

DeezWatts: anyway rip 

Xenomorph: it doesn't need any more mention it was Cursed to begin with

DeezWatts: as cursed as this class

Run™: was this what you were going to ask us about?

Vulpix: yeah basically

Run™: According to my brother, our teacher is a 'Romantic sap who loves his husband too much. It's adorable but also utterly disgusting. He does this every year- can you imagine having to suffer fifteen years of that?’ and then he dissolved into other things they've had to survive for fifteen years.

Xenomorph: thank you iida famalam for this information

Cutieshima: iida famalam

Run™ is now idle

DeezWatts: he couldn't take the famalam

Venonat: Yamada, I've got to go out and get cat food for the cats so I'm gonna be a bit, I'll text Aizawa because I'm gonna be in his precinct

Venonat: fjsvska wrO Ng c ha t  h oL Y SHit

Vulpix: this is low-key confirmation

Vulpix: I Demand The Higher Key Confirmation Shinsou


Venonat is now idle



Get a load of this Boneless family channel



Launt: You alright kid?




No: it's fine kid, you're gonna be in my area while I'm patrolling yeah?

Shinson: uh

Shinson: yeah I'm going to the usual place to get the food

Shinson: Because I'm Weak and am 100% going to end up stopping to play with the kittens

No: understandable have a nice time kid

YEAH!!: Stay safe toshi!!!!

Shinson: will do

Shinson is now idle

Guncle: iida just sent me a message with 'my boyfriends are insufferable, I hate them’ and a picture of midoriya wearing (what I assume by the half and half nature of it) to be Todoroki’s hoodie, and Todoroki with Tenya’s scarf wrapped around him

Launt: big gay mood

Guncle: I just sent him 'no u dont’ and he replied with ‘:)’

Launt: your brother is a Big.Gay.Mood.

Guncle: “He can regulate his body temperature why does he feel the need to steal my clothing”

YEAH!!: got a text from Todoroki with “He's texting Tensei furiously, with the most adorable blush on his face.”

Launt: y are all ur kids so fucktin cute

Launt: and also big gay moods

Bauntie: Rbakshjakaaaaaaa your kids are all so cute shoooooouuuuuu

Bauntie: shoooooooooooouuuuu sweetheart I know you're sitting on top of a roof!!!!

Launt: emi pls

Launt: he's  w orking

Bauntie: working on his ABS gOt DaMN

Launt: I'm breaking up with u

Bauntie: buT bABE

Bauntie: I love u

Launt: I love you too but we can't keep doing this

Bauntie: yes we can u appreciate that too

Launt: you can't keep calling me out like this

YEAH!!!: I Know I appreciate that MmmMmM

No: Hizashi

No: Toshi is in the vicinity of that hero alert

YEAH!!: I love and appreciate how fast my body is moving to intercept the villain

No: what's up I'm Aizawa I'm thirty and I'm already there

No is now idle

YEAH!!: protecc our son

Launt: ur not even using 'fake-son’ anymore

YEAH!!: Listen,,,

YEAH!!: Shou spotting a child that needs help is hilarious?

YEAH!!: there's a brief pause of like 3 seconds before you see the little twitch in his body language and then just

YEAH!!: Y E E T our son n o w

Aizawa fucking adopted us, it's canon channel


Venonat is no longer idle

Venonat: am I having a break down? Maybe?? Is Aizawa Shouta aka Eraserhead acting as my shia suprise parental unit?? Yes???????

Pure: are you alright Shinsou?

Venonat: krdka n o

Venonat: some random guy in the street started picking a fight with me,,

Pure: what the fuck

Pure: I'm calling the police

Pure: aka me I'm about to fight

Venonat: d ont

Venonat: he saw me through the sports festival and knew my quirk or some shit??

Venonat: and I think he was a villain or some low time thug and he was trying to harass me into stealing shit for him

Pure: again: I'm going to fight

Whomst: oof big mood

Infernape: I'm never saying this again but: enlarged emotion

FrenchSparkleParty: Oh so when I say it it's a crime!

Infernape: you cursed us but this time I'm cursing the Bad Man™


FrenchSparkleParty: That's fair..

Venonat: really it's fine

Whomst: it's really not ://

Venonat: I'm used to it, it's alright

Venonat: at this point I made it into the fucking heroics department I don't give a shit what they say anymore I'm going to prove them wrong

Pure: doesn't mean we still can't fight them

Run™ is no longer idle

Run™: Izuku, it's late, stop fighting people

Pure: but they were being assholes to Hitoshi!!!

Run™: Quite Fucking Frankly Hitoshi can manage himself, he says he's alright and you hurt your ankle at training!

Run™: Rest .

Pure: :///

Pure: I'll rest when toshi finishes his story!!!!


Run™: That's acceptable.

Run™ is now idle

DeezWatts: lol u got dadded by ur boyfriend

Pure: up your shut fuck

Pure: Hitoshi continue, I'm sorry I interrupted

Venonat: rkshkss no it's fine I was trying to gather my thoughts anyway

Venonat: so like, he's walked me into some shady alley, nothing new

Venonat: and he's talking, threatening me and shit

Venonat: and I'm debating using my quirk to save my own ass when he suddenly just stops and takes a step back?

Venonat: he stutters for a second and then I turned around and Aizawa was casually just standing there, quirk activated and eyes red, arms folded.

Venonat: “Is there something wrong here?”

Venonat: pissbaby: “u-uh no I was just- talking to my.. my son here uh”

Venonat: me, laughing to myself: you fool

Venonat: Aizawa: “Oh? Is that so? Because it seems to me that my son doesn't appreciate your fucking talk . So I'd appreciate it, if you kindly left him the fuck alone . Sir.

Venonat: I almost fucking cried, whether it be relief or humour

Venonat: needless to say he ran but Aizawa was on patrol & arrested him, turns out he's guilty of robbery & assault :/

Venonat: Aizawa was looking for him & when he got my text I was in the area became Protecc Dad

Venonat: what's up I'm Shinsou, I'm sixteen, and I never fucking learned how to attract positive attention.

DeezWatts: Im sorry I was laughing as soon as you wrote the word pissbaby

Pure: he tried to pull the 'my son’ on you fksgdka

Pure: @ Stronft tell Aizawa to adopt him pls

Stronft is no longer idle

Stronft: you greatly underestimate how many people Aizawa is willing to adopt

Stronft: You also greatly underestimate the power of present mic going 'shoooouuutttaaaaaaaaaaaaa ppllleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeee’

Stronft: Put the pieces together young Midoriya, you're smart enough!

Stronft is now idle

Pure: uhhhhhhhhhhhh hello police I was attacked by all might??

Pure: but also: oh shit I gotchu

Xenomorph: the famalam is unsaid

Pure: I'm not calling all might famalam

Xenomorph: u sure about that?

Pure: , , , ,,  , ,,, , , , ,  ,,,,

Xenomorph: that's what I thought

Chapter Text

Aizawa fucking adopted us, it's canon channel


Shamwow is no longer idle


Shamwow: this wasn't the right channel

Venonat: clearly

Vulpix: no please, continue. I'm interested in the potential of my father being roasted

Pure: fuck him up nap dad

Shamwow: I'm going to ignore that I was just called nap dad by all might’s son

Shamwow: but sure I'll try

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: babe are you dragging the kids into your drama with endeavour again?

Shamwow: no

Banoodle: babe you know how you can't lie to me very well because you get really flustered if I get super sappy

Shamwow: I’m filing a divorce and marrying endeavour just to send him to the shadow realm

Banoodle: shouta don't lower your standards like that

Banoodle: you had them so high and then you said 'marrying endeavour’ like people would willing fuck an on fire garbage can

Banoodle: o h shI T TH E RE AR E KI D S IN HRRMSNbdakan

Venonat: hello this is microphone dad, he swears excessively at Bad Moments and has a Short Attention Span

FrenchSparkleParty: I love him

BoomBoomPow: yikes, is that a big mood?

Banoodle: (I fucgkin love my kids)

Banoodle: Shinsou,, why would you say something so controversial yet so brave

Venonat: it's not controversial it's fact

FrenchSparkleParty: You're Insulting Him

Banoodle: :(((

Shamwow: don't be mean to mic, he's very fragile

BoomBoomPow: ^

Venonat: why are you booing me, I'm right

Shamwow: he has a fragile heart Hitoshi, just because it's true doesn't mean you should say it

Banoodle: I'm riGHT HERE

Banoodle: don't pat my face I'm a distinguished hero

Shamwow: uh huh

Banoodle: I command respect everywhere I go

Shamwow: of course dear

Banoodle: kthsksbskab

Venonat: Aizawa 5 : Yamada 1

Banoodle: i am very proud of that one thank you

Venonat: you made Aizawa choke on his coffee in the middle of a café

Banoodle: it would take more than that to kill the love of my life, my heart my soul my melody and song

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle: Yamada 2 ;)

Venonat: did he throw his phone across the room again

Banoodle: he doesn't need everyone to know he throws his phone across the room on a regular basis

Banoodle: w h o o p s : )

Venonat: flagsksha

Venonat: we are n ot in the right chat for this bullshit

Banoodle: language >:(

Venonat: you just swore like 5+ times

Banoodle: i

Banoodle: okay fair

Banoodle: how did all of ur parent meetings go for heroics? U all have very nice parents (not including todoroki I'm so sorry son)

Vulpix: (that's fine he didn't even show up anyway)

Banoodle: (I want you to know Aizawa and All might full on wrote a report for you on improvements you could make in your studies by interrogating each other like they were your dad(s))

Banoodle: (I got dragged into it)

Vulpix: (jrhdska)

Vulpix: (what's up I'm shouto I'm fifteen and I never fuvktin learned how to have an actual parental unit who cared for me & made me feel safe and now I've got like 5)

Banoodle: (wrow)

Vulpix: so overall my meeting was fine

Xenomorph: my dad nearly screamed bc he saw all might

BandaidArms: kfgskaha big mood oh my god

DeezWatts: my mom wasn't prepared for the amount of pro heroes at the school & laughed at the 'yee’ comments everyone made

Cutieshima: yee

BoomBoomPow: yee

Kewwo: yee

BandaidArms: yee

Momo: All those 'Yee’s mean different things.

Pure: one of these yees, is not like the others

Pure: also my mom asked to talk to aizawa separately and I am a Large Fearful Baby that she wants to move me to another school,,

Pure: it took so much for me to get set up in the dorms fkshsksba

Vulpix: I'll f ight

Vulpix: not your mom she's wonderful I love her

Run™: I want to protect her & ensure no harm befalls her

Pure: tkegaksvka she loves u both too but,, I'm still scared???

Banoodle: oH!!! No don't worry!!!!

Banoodle: kiD yOurE FINE!!

Banoodle: I'm cackling that's probably why he looked so confused

Banoodle: your mom thanked him for keeping you safe and then hugged him and when he came back to the teachers room he fell on the couch and went 'huh’

Kewwo: 'huh’ is just the Aizawa version of 'yee’

Vulpix: when he runs out of Social Machine he goes 'huh’

Venonat: why would you say something so controversial but so brave?

Pure: ithska it's probably because I talked to her about the USJ when I wasn't sleeping well™ and she found out he got Fucked Up so many times for us through the year

DeezWatts: y couldn't u sleep?

Pure: it's called Trauma, Harold.


Pure: Me, clicking my knuckles: would you like to hear my long list of 'im a nervous wreck and want to burst into tears at any god damn second’

Cutieshima: who hurt y ou,,

Pure: quirk machine

Pure: uuuuhhhh dad machine

Pure: hhhuuuuuuhhhhhhhh villain machine

Pure: kacchan

Cutieshima: hthsks well I can (currently & effectively) fight one of those four

Cutieshima: omw to beat up the bakubae @ Bakuslay

Bakuslay: that's fair

Kewwo: owo what's this? Character growth?

Bakuslay: piss off fuckhands mcmike

Kewwo: I’m


Kewwo: Am I being called a meme and a cryptid in the same conversation

BoomBoomPow: wait how did u two get outside at three am

Space: secrets

Venonat: wait that reminds me

Venonat: discovery on one of the ‘Is Eraserhead Even Real?’ forums for the underground network

Venonat: theres this one where they keep calling him a cryptid who probably can't stand daylight

Venonat: and one of the comments from a while ago is just 'Eraserhead is real and he kissed me behind Denny's at three am’

Venonat: Yamada,,,

Banoodle: fkshsksbak I hAve no idea what you're talking about what's an underground hero who’s a network I don't know them they sound fun

DeezWatts: we don't even have a local Denny's

Banoodle: oh look I've got a meeting scheduled for 'escape from my students’ which is right about now!

Banoodle is now idle

DeezWatts: my question, swerved,,

DeezWatts: this ache, this deep dissatisfaction is this,,,, how todoroki feels?

Vulpix: I will freeze you in a block of ice

DeezWatts: it wouldn't matter, I am already so numb to the world, I just want to be answered, noticed, appeased

DeezWatts: my curiosity is not sated, and I am starved for the confirmation of knowledge

Vulpix: bye bye kaminari :)

DeezWatts: is that,,, fear? An emotion? Welling up deep inside my lost soul? Thank you,, I can feel, just this little, and it has brought to me a glimpse of the real world

BandaidArms: you're dead my mcman

Vulpix: You, are already, dead.

DeezWatts: w-whAT?!?!?!

Vulpix: this is bullying it was my birthday

DeezWatts: ik u didn't answer ur phone the whole day

Xenomorph: :( so many messages sent, so little answers

Vulpix: I was with my boyfriends avoiding my dad and watching Eraserhead literally dunk him


Pure: aizawa erased his quirk and talked shit  to him for 3 minutes straight to his face

Vulpix: it didn't help mic was standing next to him and just chewing gum as his eyebrows raised further and further throughout the diss session

Venonat: that would explain why he came home incredibly proud of Aizawa

Venonat: who proceeded to pass out on the couch oof big mood

Xenomorph: thank u for my life

Vulpix: getting confirmation for your birthday is one of the best things

Vulpix: having an underground hero roast your shit father is even better

Bakuslay: get in here you shitty cryptid fucker @ Banoodle

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: cryptid fucker

Banoodle: I hate this

Banoodle: but also I'm very proud of my husband what did you need bakugou?

Bakuslay: adopt him already, his dad is a piece of shit

Pure: I have to agree with kacchan

Bakuslay: fuck you we all know endeavour is the worst, no one has to agree it's a fucking given

Pure: fair

Banoodle: I've got custody papers literally on my lap rn

Vulpix: fisgskavskahaka wH

Banoodle: I'm suppose to tell you anyway (and you're inevitably going to tell everyone else) but basically we're getting you to signed over to the school because your dad is 'unfit to have a parental role’ and then shouta will be legally be your custodian as your homeroom teacher

Banoodle: it's good you came to us to ask for help because otherwise shouta couldn't have don't anything with all the information he built up :’’3

Vulpix: Me? Crying? Very likely,,

Pure: figskakavdkabaa!!!!!!!!

Xenomorph: does Mr Aizawa is our lord and saviour?

DeezWatts: yee

BoomBoomPow: Yee

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: Hitoshi you left the cat food bin open



Shamwow: no, it's fine kid you don't need to apologise

Shamwow: she's fuckgin stuck though come over here

Banoodle: don't insult her

Shamwow: zashi she looks ridiculous

Venonat: fksjsabkasvkabskavsa

Venonat: I hate her,,,,

Shamwow: you fell asleep holding her in your arms

Venonat: goTTA GO

Infernape: screenshotted, saved, engraved on my tombstone

Whomst: o of that's a la r g e mood

Banoodle: jthska get her out the god damn bin then oh my god

Banoodle: ur bullying her

Shamwow: you cried because she fell asleep on your arm while you were marking and you didn't want to move her


Shamwow: she's fine she pulled herself out as soon as she heard me snort

Venonat: guilty senses Activate

Venonat: also this is spamming the need for endeavour being kicked out move this to the boneless family

Xenomorph: fhdkskabaj w ait n o I was c rying c o me ba CK

Vulpix: hOlY shit I just got a message from my sister saying my dad was yelling about Eraserhead gssgkssb

Vulpix: This Can't Be Good

Shamwow: if he starts shit he can meet me in the pit

Shamwow: and I'll strip him of his fucking position and Ruin his reputation if he comes near any of you looking to harm

Whomst: Aizawa is our biggest dad confirmed

Murkrow: big confirmy

Tentacruel: large acknowledgement

Momo: Five thousand word footnote.


Banoodle: I'm cackling

Momo: :)

BoomBoomPow: thaTs my gIrlfriEnD

BoomBoomPow: I love her

Momo: <3

BoomBoomPow: I'm a blessed lesbian up in here

Kewwo: Yikes™ is that a mood?

Space: tgekska

Mic is also an amazing dad txt it channel


YEAH!!: Oh sh o u we're gonna get so much fucking media coverage if he starts shit,,

Guncle: oh shit that's right

Guncle: I can try and cover for you guys? I'm very good at being distracting

Bauntie: you started swearing so fiercely over all social media people thought someone had stolen your phone

Guncle: Very Good At Being Distracting

Launt: also I can just very publicly make out with emi that'll cause a stir

Bauntie: ;3c

Launt: ;3c

No: you're both useless gays

Bauntie: why would you say something so brave yet so controversial

Launt: he called ur bi ass out

Bauntie: he called your ass out harder

Guncle: girls please you're both gay

YEAH!!: I don't really mind the coverage but,,

No: it's fine

No: in regards to my hero persona, if he causes me to suffer in takedowns I can sue him for hindering my work over matters he wasn't allowed to meddle in any more due to legality

No: and if he starts shit about us being married I don't care if people know

No: because you can handle yourself and if by some miracle someone did manage to hurt you despite your ability to look after yourself to get to me they'd have hell to pay

YEAH!!: Fhekdgsksbsksb I love u so much,,,,

Shinson: wait so is todoroki my brother now


YEAH!!: I mean

No: god, I'm actually going to have custody of 20 kids by the time this is done, aren't I?

YEAH!!: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter Text

Yell Heah is an eternal mood channel


Cutieshima: I want kouda to speak again I miss my soft special boy

DeezWatts: I've had,,, enough,, of kouda,,, speaking,,,,,

BandaidArms: ur venting about the veil at three am still confused me babe

DeezWatts: I'm sorry I just have a lot of emotions about the fact that I think our homeroom teacher is an old god cryptid of some kind and that kouda is trying to raise the devil

Xenomorph: petition for one of the best boys to say some shit

Rowlet: done and done let me pull the dialogue out of my ass



Bakuslay: was that a fucking vine reference

BandaidArms: rip, f to pay respects

Bakuslay: f(uck that)

BandaidArms: understandable

Cutieshima: I'm shRIEKING

Rowlet: what's up everybody, I think Dogs should VOTE

Cutieshima: BRSKAH ME TOO

Murkrow: oh my god he's speaking again

Murkrow: @ Tentacruel reign him in this is a code red

Tentacruel: I can't believe we have to do this every time

Murkrow: dark shadow is afraid and that means we reign him in

Rowlet: :(

Murkrow: please I'm a very fragile container

Rowlet: get him a snack then!

Murkrow: I trIEd

Murkrow: he isn't eating his fucking apples

Cutieshima: idk what I'm witnessing

DeezWatts: hello welcome to the void

Rowlet: mmmm okay one second!!!! I will be!!! Right there!!! Dark shadow is a good boy and so are u!!!

Rowlet is now idle

Murkrow: crying brb

Tentacruel: oh geez good thing I have six whole arms to hold all these emotions

DeezWatts: hey do u think kouda and tokoyami can talk through their minds BC of koudas quirk

Murkrow: im

Cutieshima: whrksgskaha bro what the fuck

Xenomorph: I'm shrieking denki why would you do this to me

Pure: I support this headcanon

Vulpix: why do you support this hc but not mine

Pure: because you keep trying to make new families out of pro heroes and students, Shouto

Vulpix: it's a coping mechanism

Pure: I'd ask for what but we all know

BoomBoomPow: what do we all know

Vulpix: I'm coping with Life

BoomBoomPow: yeesh a mood

Vulpix: oof, worm?

BoomBoomPow: I hate myself

Vulpix: friendship ended with anyone else jirou is my new best friend

Pure: understandable but!!!! D:<

Murkrow: as an emo I admire your self hatred

Murkrow: but as your friend I'm going to need you to stop that right this second

Pure: ^^^^ what the FUCK is up Kyle I'm going to fight

Vulpix: please don't you're going to hurt yourself

Pure: I'll be fine

FrenchSparkleParty: Midoriya, breaking his arm: just a flesh wound~

FrenchSparkleParty: three seconds later, all of his limbs shattered and his hand beyond repair: tis but a scratch!

Pure: I don't appreciate being called out like this but I'm very thankful for the concern you are showing by memeing

FrenchSparkleParty: stop breaking yourself, s’il vous plaît~

BoomBoomPow: I think I turned my volume up too high bc of training and now I can't hear anything

BoomBoomPow: practice with mic was a disaster today :(

Momo: As your girlfriend I'm going to need you to come over to the common room, sit next to me on this couch, watch terrible TV with subtitles on and indulge in the biggest hug session of our generation

BoomBoomPow: lthdkhss I can do that,, <3

Momo: Remember that Mr Yamada will allow you a break if you truly need it, he isn't cruel and voice/sound quirks can take a lot of energy and effort to maintain.

Momo: You too @ Rowlet !!!!

Rowlet is no longer idle

Rowlet: ^u^

Momo: How did the snacking process go?

Rowlet: (ノ^∇^)  (y)!!

Momo: That's good :)

Murkrow: dark shadow is considerably happier after talking to kouda

Rowlet: (*´▽`*)

Tentacruel: he's good & pure and we need to protect our overlord

Rowlet: ヾ(´▽`;)ゝ

Tentacruel: friend

Rowlet: ( ゚▽゚)/

Murkrow: friend!

Rowlet: d=(´▽`)=b

FrenchSparkleParty: well that was interesting

FrenchSparkleParty: also that's the most emotion you've written out in so long tokoyami, congratulations darling~

Murkrow: thskabakamv

Rowlet: °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

FrenchSparkleParty: holy fucking shit I love it

Cutieshima: I'm sjfbsksbska did you just s wear

FrenchSparkleParty: ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ maybe so~

DeezWatts: aoyama is a fucking elderitch being too isn't he

Rowlet: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

DeezWatts: this is the most fear I've felt in a long time and all it took was an emoticon

Murkrow: hm

Rowlet: :?

Tentacruel: don't like that

Rowlet: (゜▽゜;)

Tentacruel: it's fine,,

Rowlet: ^~^

FrenchSparkleParty: you're alright darling he's being a big meme

Rowlet: ˚✧₊⁎( ˘ω˘ )⁎⁺˳✧༚

FrenchSparkleParty: you're a blessing i love you and these strange sparkling sons

DeezWatts: I'm terrified

Rowlet: (¬‿¬)


Rowlet: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

DeezWatts: hate this

Network connection limited or unavailable

Murkrow: I'm going to send endeavour to the shadow realm

Vulpix: Hello, my name is Todoroki Shouto, I've heard your sales pitch and I'm very interested in your product.

Murkrow: that's good, youre just the kind of taker we're looking for

Murkrow: the plan is to open the veil and fucking dunk him in

DeezWatts: not this again,,,

Murkrow: it's a good plan we just have to dunk him in the void and then close it

Tentacruel: we aren't fucking with the veil, invoking Eraser’s wrath, and then dunking an oversized piece of garbage into the void fumikage

Murkrow: it's just until he's erased!!

Vulpix: mmm like the end result hate the plan

Vulpix: I hate to admit it but it'd be better to keep him alive :(

Bakuslay: bulllllllll I say we wait for eraser to fuck him over

Bakuslay: he's already halfway there so why not just fucking wait

Rowlet: 凸(`0´)凸

Murkrow: yeah fuck endeavour

DeezWatts: I'm

DeezWatts: is all that happens here

DeezWatts: plotting to murder people?


Tentacruel: I mean


Vulpix: not usually

Murkrow: exceptions are made

Rowlet: Ȟ̨̧͔̗͑̃̅͐̒ͮ̐̚͞e̳̳͓ͭ̈ͪ is coming

Venonat is no longer idle

Venonat: what are you even doing in here wtf

Venonat: yamada is trying to sort out custody papers

Vulpix: plotting the death of Endeavour

Venonat: yikes nevermind please proceed

S̡̲̠̠̖̝̦̋̄ͯ͞ͅh̸͔̺̰͍̔̆ͬ̀̑͂̿͢a̶̙͕̭̹̣͕͛ͣ̾͆̄m̫̥̫͖̆ͦ̄̈̾ͧ͟͝͞ẅ̞̲̰̤̺͇̜ͩǫ̲̃ͩ̇ͥ̀͊ͯẁ̠̠͊͐ ̺is no̡ ͠lo̴ng͞e͟r i̛dl҉e

Shamwow: seriously

Shamwow: how many fucking times

Bakuslay: we didn't even fucking open the god damn veil this time

Shamwow: congratulations you get one mark each

Shamwow: but seriously you keep doing this every time kaminari is online stop terrifying the kid he's gonna get nightmares

DeezWatts: too late I've seen some shit

Shamwow: god fucking dammit

Shamwow: I̷̧'l̨l͢͜ ̡͜͏d̸͠e̶̸a̶̢͟l̡ ̛͠wi͢͝͡t͞h̛ E̪̦̿̑̀̉̿̍n̜̗̝ͯ̃d͗͛͑̃̀e͚͕̟̜̖̰ͬͧͭǎ̲̝͔͖̮̝͋͌ͦͧͮv̖̮̭̮̪̏̀̈͂ͣ̉ͅo̮̼̩̰͎̤̭ͥ͗u̐ͮ̉r̙̙͐̉̃̓ͨ̽̉ jus̵t s̴top ͏p̡layi̛n͢g͜ wit͡h̛ tim͝e͟ a͘nd ͠s҉p̕ac͞e fo̴r͞ a̴ ͜co̷u͘ple̷ ̛of ̢weeķş a̕n̴d̛ t͘h͡e͡n w͞e'll be Gu͠cci͢

Murkrow: fine

Tentacruel: like I said, don't dunk endeavour into the void

Vulpix: but I want to s o bad

Shamwow: too bad I'm legally dealing with this, my son now

Vulpix: wrow

Shamwow is now idle

Network connection restored! Welcome back :D

DeezWatts: hate this

Venonat: jthska big mood we need to fix the WiFi in this dorm

Pure: oh! Shinsou when did you come in :0

Venonat: ah sorry! I tried to connect to the chat while my app was messing up because of the wifi and it must have eaten the notification :)

DeezWatts: hate this.

Venonat: anyway I've gotta pull Todoroki out for a bit which is why I showed up

Vulpix: I'm on my way downstairs

Vulpix: Aizawa messaged me

Venonat: nice

Vulpix is now idle

Venonat is now idle

Xenomorph: look at that mix match family gaining members

FrenchSparkleParty: I'm proud of them~

Cutieshima: we all are!!!

Cutieshima: (but as a class we totally agree that the next time we see endeavour we have to rush him right?)

DeezWatts: (of fucking course)

Whomst: (literally everyone here wants to fight him)

Pure: ( :) )

Kewwo: (I'm a little skeptical about our chances of survival but I believe in our stubbornness)

Space: (aw that's cute ily)

Kewwo: (I love you too)

CandyCRONCH is no longer idle

CandyCRONCH: I haven't been in here for seven years and when I come back you're all plotting the murder of Endeavour


















CandyCRONCH: your motives are pure and I'm gonna bake you all a cake

CandyCRONCH: and actual food what the fuck is all this in the dorm fridge

Xenomorph: g4m3r fuel bruh

CandyCRONCH: never say those words to my face ever again

Cutieshima: what is even happening right now

CandyCRONCH: those are 5 opened and unfinished bags of Doritos and like 10 litres of every kind of energy drink I've ever heard of

Murkrow: his dad mode activated

CandyCRONCH: how is any of this food going to help you develop

DeezWatts: this is the most he's ever spoken to me ever

CandyCRONCH: literally most of this is suited for me or Yaoyorozu to eat before training not for all your meals

CandyCRONCH: how did Aizawa even permit this???

Run™: honestly I dread looking in the kitchen after the Bakugou Incident

Momo: So do Aizawa, Mic and myself which is why I thought that at least one of them had actual food

Bakuslay: are you shitting me?

Bakuslay: they're all irresponsible as fuck I have to cook half the time because none of them know how to

CandyCRONCH: bakugou come help me cook

Bakuslay: fuck you, you can't tell me what to do

CandyCRONCH: we both know full well you're already walking towards the kitchen while typing those words

DeezWatts: hey look at this I love our new same age parent mode friends

CandyCRONCH: I still want to know how Aizawa allowed this

CandyCRONCH: @ Venonat Does Aizawa own any kind of sustenance aside from those weird jelly pouches at the joint teachers apartment?

Venonat is no longer idle

Venonat: oh yeah he and mic cook like

Venonat: actual food all, the time (mic won't let him eat the jelly pouches until he's had "an actual legitimate real life meal that won't cause you to die of nutrition deficiencies” to which Aizawa will then respond “they are literally nutrient pouches what's the point of food” and then mic will be offended for a full 5 minutes, ranting about food while he stress cooks a full family meal that he then proceeds to make too much of and leaves some of it in the our dorm fridge)

Venonat: there's a communal fridge in the teachers lounge and one in the apartment because it's set up like a smaller version of the kids side

Venonat: there was an influx in crime recently and the underground heroes had like 5 times the amount of work than usual so he forgot to check our kitchen to make sure we were eating right

CandyCRONCH: I hate our adopted homeroom dad and that I now have the urge to make him sleep

Venonat: you'll get used to it

CandyCRONCH: also what the FUCK was the Bakugou Incident

Venonat: lmao gotta blast

Venonat is now idle

CandyCRONCH: I'm waiting

Xenomorph: Bakusquad vs Izucrew pillow fight that went wrong

Run™: Horribly wrong.


Xenomorph: I heard that long suffering sigh I knOW WE'RE DISAPPOINTING OUR PARENTAL UNITS

Xenomorph: it waS W ORT H IT

Run™: Not really

Cutieshima: yeah I mean bakugou accidentally shattered the window and I broke 3 drawers trying to make sure he was okay

Xenomorph: worth it!!

Pure: I also managed to break the door?

Xenomorph: we don't need doors on the kitchen they hinder the signal that food is being made

CandyCRONCH: I don't know how any of you are even vaguely functional

Run™: The reasons are up for debate at a later time.

Momo: Agreed, we still need to tell Aizawa the window is broken..

Whomst: probably not now though?

Whomst: toshi said that they were sorting out todoroki's situation right now

Xenomorph: everything waits for the good hot cold boy whom I love

DeezWatts: quick confirmation that everyone is low-key crushing on Todoroki

Pure: I'm high-key crushing on both of my boyfriends

DeezWatts: that was a given but everyone is also high key crushing on u midoriya

Pure: kbrkebOHsJbrisankshes

Run™: You broke my boyfriend

DeezWatts: that's just how it be in this bitch of a world

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: I know that was a meme but if you ever butcher any kind of sentence like you just brutally murdered that one ever again I'm going to open the rift between worlds and dunk you right in there thanks for coming to my ted talk

Banoodle is now idle

DeezWatts: why am I the target of void simulations I hate this I'm full of fear and memes

BandaidArms: it's alright babe you know mic would never

DeezWatts: ur right he's so soft

Xenomorph: he'd probably just draw a sad face on a note and slide it under your door

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: I don't appreciate the callout but you're 100% right I love & cherish you all far too much

Banoodle is now idle

BoomBoomPow: love our soft screaming dad

DeezWatts: soft screaming dad and soft sleeping dad

Xenomorph: canonical full titles for them

Whomst: Eraserhead who?

FrenchSparkleParty: Present Mic when??

Vulpix is no longer idle


Venonat is no longer idle

Venonat: guess I have a brother now?

Pure: GOOD!!!!

DeezWatts: Hell yeAH

FrenchSparkleParty: Yell Heah!

BoomBoomPow: Yell Heah

Rowlet: o(〃^▽^〃)o

Run™: Yell heah

Cutieshima: yell heah!!!

Xenomorph: yeLL HEAH

Tentacruel: yell heah

Murkrow: Yell Heah

Momo: Yell heah!

Pure: Y e l l h E a h !

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: I love my SoN

Pure: I love my boyfriend’s new dad!

Run™: Likewise

Banoodle: imcryGin

Venonat: we don't have enough tissues to handle this yamada

Banoodle: well then we didn't come fuvgiin prepared n ow, did we?

Venonat: wait

Venonat: wait no Aizawa has tissues

Banoodle: I'm fcjust have anlot of emotiins

Venonat: I can tell

Banoodle: Shhouta weould b ecrygnin but hses got ndryeeye

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: impossible, I feel only two emotions


Shamwow: I love you too zashi but we need to g o

Banoodle: )nnO AWEnjuDT GOtnhERE

Shamwow: we're taking our two entire children home to the dorms

Banoodle: O H

Banoodle: ronISISNA!!!! <3333333!!!!! @ Shamwow , @ Venonat , @ Vulpix

Vulpix: o h

Vulpix: what is this

Venonat: positive emotion

Vulpix: yikes I kind of love it

Shamwow: oof

Shamwow: zashi

Banoodle: lfhakahak

Shamwow: sweetheart

Shamwow: emi is yelling at you

Venonat: it's great


Shamwow: please midnight is going to kill me if emi does that

Banoodle: she's gonNA FIGHT ME FOR IT

Shamwow: babe


Shamwow: bAbe


Shamwow: bABE

Banoodle is now idle


Shamwow is now idle

Bakuslay: what the fuck just happened

Xenomorph: beautiful things

Cutieshima: *touches the ground* beautiful things happened here

Cutieshima: that's my future goal for any relationship ever

Cutieshima: our domestic fucgkin teachers

Bakuslay: it's going to be a lot yellier

Cutieshima: I can live w/ that ily

Bakuslay: krhskal

Cutieshima: <33

Bakuslay: love you too shitty hair <3


BandaidArms: u ruined their moment bro

DeezWatts: their broment

Cutieshima: lads is it gay if you and your bro just tell each other how much u love each other after insinuating u were gonna spend a large portion of ur lives together

Whomst: hella

Cutieshima: nice




No: didn't need that information


Launt: its a hyperbole shouta

No: jokes on you I passed English with a reasonable grade and still don't know what that means

YEAH!!: babe,,

No: lads is it gay to

Launt: yes

No: understandable.




Launt: babe please don't

No: no I want to see this

Shinson: wh

No: hitoshi cover your eyes your aunt is going to down the definition of death and you don't need to see that

Shinson: well this is a perfect welcome to the family for shouto

YEAH!! added Todoroki to the channel

Todoroki: o h , ,

Launt: hm no that won't do

No has changed Todoroki ’s name to Todorokid

Launt: That's Much Better

Bauntie: awwww hey!!!! I'm Fukukado Emi (ms joke lmao) just call me emi sweetheart

YEAH!!: I will tear that Bloody Mary from ur gay slimy hands emi

Bauntie: I'd like to see you F ucking try hizashi

YEAH!!: it's on bitch imma steal ur girl

Launt: no you're not

YEAH!!: No I'm not I respect ur boundaries as both a taken woman and a woman who can literally knock me out

Bauntie: omw to steal ur man

No: see name

Bauntie: understandable have a nice married relationship with your husband who you're devoted to

Shinson: this meme got out of hand fast

Shinson: these are our parents & our gay adopted relatives

Todorokid: I can live with that

Guncle: it's the gOOD ONE

Launt: it's the good one @ Guncle

Bauntie: ^

YEAH!!: ^^

Guncle: delet this

Guncle: hey kid it's Tensei lmao

Todorokid: the plausibly gay uncle

Launt: fucking called out

Guncle: fkshkashska just because it's true,,

YEAH!!: He's also the thirstiest person here




YEAH!!: *Soft gasp* Tensei,, u fuck boy

Guncle: never use my name and those words in the same sentence ever again I have standards and a respectful status in the community

No: unlikely


Shinson: ( ̄ー ̄)

Guncle: don't bring your eldritch shit within ten feet of me

Shinson: guess I'll die

Todorokid: I got adopted into the eldritch family

YEAH!!: This is a call out post for pro hero Eraserhead aka Aizawa Shouta:

YEAH!!: literally cursed by how I love him so much

No: I love you too

YEAH!!: Bless me the fuck up Kyle

No: that reminds me: you still need to respond to That Thing, zashi

Shinson: huh?

Todorokid: uh,,

Launt: we're all lost here right

Bauntie: yep

YEAH!!: I got some random hate from a guy who just went 'bro ur so shitty, fucking stupid radio station & bad taste in music, fuckin gay’

YEAH!!: The choices are: You diddly darn know I am!

No: I didn't like that one

No: it makes him look like he's agreeing to being stupid which we all know is Incorrect

YEAH!!: <3

YEAH!!: another is ignoring it

YEAH!!: Then there's addressing it as a message

YEAH!!: or just:

YEAH!!: me, my music taste, advice, and fans: (◡‿◡✿)
YEAH!!: Me: (ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”
YEAH!!: Me: (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”
YEAH!!: My wonderful husband who I love dearly: ✿\(。-_-。) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got your flower.”

Bauntie: god do the last one

Launt: yikes mood

Launt: is it a random guy or someone who’s gonna be trouble?

No: can't be trouble if you string him up and leave him there for three hours

Shinson: dad no


Shinson: ignore I called you dad for a minute & resist the temptation to defend your husband

No: he can defend himself I just like being a mean Spiderman

Shinson: understandable have a nice day.

Todorokid: your cat is huge

Shinson: lmao did you find her then

Shinson: she's a Maine Coon

No: one of them

No: Mochi is probably hiding in a box somewhere

Todorokid: what's this one called?

No: she's called Sumi but she'll respond to mostly anything

YEAH!!: especially mii and hime

No: that's because you treat her like a baby

YEAH!!: She Is As Long As My Arm

YEAH!!: Also you can't talk about treating her like a baby you love our cat daughters

No: I like cats fullstop zashi

YEAH!!: True

Todorokid: she's fluffy

YEAH!!: Yeah be careful not to let her lie on any light coloured clothes she might shed on them

Todorokid: what does mochi look like

Launt: she's dark grey and white

Launt: the white parts have little light grey flecks throughout her fur

Bauntie: they're both good & pure

Bauntie: I want a cat :(

Launt: both of us are too busy darling, it wouldn't be fair

Guncle: I remember the cat that stayed at my house even though we didn't own it fjsbska

YEAH!!: He was a wild ride

No: he was lovely

YEAH!!: He fell asleep on my legs within 3 minutes of being introduced to me

No: He Was Lovely.

No: Very Friendly Good Son.

YEAH!!: You just liked him because he was a cat

YEAH!!: Speaking of you only came over to my house that one time because I had to look after the cat we found

No: you offered

YEAH!!: well yeah

YEAH!! W ait,,

YEAH!!: I can't believe shouta married me just for the cats

YEAH!!: (and for sleeping on but that's beside the point)

No: >;3c

Todorokid: holy shit

Shinson: fkshsksba mood


Yell Heah is an eternal mood channel


Venonat: :3.jpg

Vulpix: I'm laughing

Cutieshima: fbkssh holY shIt

Xenomorph: well,,,, now I've seen everything,,

Chapter Text

McFUCK: lads is it gay to kind of cry softly when you see someones face

Banoodle: can confirm from experience that: yes.

McFUCK: o h b o y

Chloroform: oooooooo snipe’s got a c r u sh

McFUCK: I need you to stop calling me out please I'm suffering enough as is

Oh?Vacuum?: I can't believe my best friend has a crush and didn't tell me first this is the worst day of my life


McFUCK: I tOld you yesterday

Oh?Vacuum?: Oh

Oh?Vacuum?: Maybe so, cowboy

McFUCK: I sent you like 5 paragraphs when I was crying

Oh?Vacuum?: I know this and I love you


Chloroform: fkshkaa big fat crush!!

Banoodle: have been there

Chloroform: we've all been there

Banoodle: 15 years

Chloroform: but mostly Hizashi has been there

McFUCK: How do you have a crush on someone you've been dating for half of your life

Banoodle: it never went away I'm still crushing on him hard

Shamwow: we're married

Banoodle: yeah but still

Chloroform: okay we get it ur gay so is half the population of ua

Banoodle: more specifically I'm gay for Aizawa Shouta aka Eraserhead I love him

Chloroform: okay we get it ur crushing hard on Aizawa so is half the population of ua

Shamwow: what

Shamwow: how

Shamwow: why

Chloroform: shhhhh not now

Chloroform: back to snipes huge fuckgin crush

McFUCK: no I would rather be talking about how I've heard a guest assessor come into our school and go 'holy shit Eraserhead could crush my head between his thighs and that's kinda hot’

Shamwow: I hate this

McFUCK: quick question though

McFUCK: asking for a friend, can you or can you not bench all might

Shamwow: midoriya could probably bench all might it's not that hard

Banoodle: what the fuck no it's not??

Chloroform: (you're a twink Hizashi)

Banoodle: (I am a t wunk)

Shamwow: (babe)

Banoodle: ( :’( )

McFUCK: is that a yes?

Shamwow: Yes?

Shamwow: I don't understand,,

Shamwow: do you want me to bench all might?

Shamwow: did he fall asleep in the middle of the hall again that's my fucking job

Oh?Vacuum?: 2nd (successful) attempt at USJ with the kiddos he deadlifted midoriya out of the water with his scarf and no visible effort





Banoodle: ;;;;;;3c

Shamwow: I'm filing a divorce

PebbleSkip: snipe is a big gay cowboy

PebbleSkip: (off the books: yamada is right)

Shamwow: (I'm filing a formal divorce of any kind of partnership we had be it work of friendly)

PebbleSkip: (that's fair)

McFUCK: this is illegal behaviour and I'm going to have to arrest you for harassing me

PebbleSkip: on the group, ten hours ago, you sent the words (and I quote):

Oh?Vacuum?: God I love him

PebbleSkip: “What's up you howdy havin homoheroes I'm a huge fuckgin GAY COWBOY and I'm going to CRY FOR TEN HOURS BECAYSE HES SO FCYKGIN GORGEOUS I WANNA DIE Y’ALL”

Chloroform: homoheroes

Oh?Vacuum?: We are all gay now

Shamwow: I silenced that chat as soon as you added me

Oh?Vacuum?: I know this and I'm only vaguely offended

Banoodle: I can't believe you called them homoheroes and I wasn't involved

Chloroform: anytime anyone says the word gay you are automatically involved you mess of a twink

Banoodle: t h a t s  f a i r

McFUCK: Hey Wouldn't It Be Great If My Friends Stopped Calling Me Out Alright Thanks For Coming To My TED Talk

Banoodle: who capitalises all the letters in ted no one can give a shit

McFUCK: you're an English teacher

Banoodle: Who CANT be bothered to capitalise all the letters mmmm have so much fun with ACRONYMS live for that good shit right there good shit good shit (chorus: good shit)

Shamwow: if it was up to Yamada our wedding would've had him quoting the good shit meme at me every time I did anything ever

Banoodle: Yikes! What's that in the distance? A call out? By my own husband? Oof! What a heart wrenchingly common occurrence!

Chloroform: I love u both so much but this is ridiculous I want the scoop on snipes cowboy crush

Chloroform: Is Himst A Hunk

McFUCK: I fuckgin fbsksja risks BB s

McFUCK: i fear for my life when giving you any information ever which is why you'll never know my name

McFUCK: so, at risk of sounding like a toddler: I'm not telling

Chloroform: guess I'll just tickle thirteen until they tell


Oh?Vacuum?: As your friend I'd like to say I'm running to preserve your honour and integrity but as a person you and I both know I'm running to preserve my own

McFUCK: I know this and I love you

Banoodle: we are all, love thirteen

PebbleSkip: RT

Shamwow: rt

Chloroform: rt

McFUCK: rt

Sonic: rt

Fangboi: Rt

Stronft: rt

Cryptid: RT

TCrews: Rt

RuhRoh: rt

Oh?Vacuum?: :’0

Oh?Vacuum?: Brb crying in the club (the club being a dorm)

Oh?Vacuum?: Whose dorm is this

Oh?Vacuum?: And why is the door gone

Shamwow: probably my kids

Fangboi: which door is it

Oh?Vacuum?: The kitchen door???

Fangboi: Aizawa’s kids

Fangboi: mine broke every other door except the kitchen door

Shamwow: how is this better than mine

Fangboi: they're overachievers

Shamwow: I made an excuse for you that you lost a bet for Shinsou, my wonderful good son, to join class 1-A but we all know it's because you're emotionally invested in their futures and don't want them to move from your class because you're also a capable heroics teacher

Fangboi: this is the worst you've ever called me out and I need to go

Shamwow: also because you emotionally couldn't handle the strain of having Kendou move up a class, there would be chaos

Fangboi: B y E  E R a s  e r, , ,,,  , , , , ,

Banoodle: yikes another call out from my husband


Oh?Vacuum?: I hate that you call us space cowboy

McFUCK: I hate that it's kinda accurate

Chloroform: okay but how cute we talking on a scale of 1 to 10

McFUCK: you can't just ask me to choose a number

PebbleSkip: His arms have gone red under his costume so a solid 11.

McFUCK: I want uraraka to send me into the cold unforgivin void of space

Oh?Vacuum?: Oh? Big same worm mood?

Chloroform: see you later space cowboy

PebbleSkip: this is the single worst thing that I've ever read in my life

Banoodle: you read the words 'getting rawed shadow is great and all but have u ever rawed knuckles?’ with your own two eyes

Sonic: delet this

PebbleSkip: that's a close second

Sonic: >:0

Chloroform: Tensei tried to defend himself for so long but the truth is he just loves sonic the hedgehog

Sonic: gjshskabka

Shamwow: and you have a thing for poison ivy but we aren't calling you out in this house

Chloroform: bitch poison ivy is every gay girls dream

Chloroform: she's the biggest power move in everything she does and I love her

Shamwow: don't quote your girlfriend to back you up

Chloroform: too late I'm doing it

Chloroform: “Bauntie: bich u could be the poison ivy 2 my Harley quinn BC damn u fine as shit

Oh?Vacuum?: Aizawa bakugou is trying to blow up kirishima

Shamwow: is he doing it while slightly red around the ears, and kind of defensive but relaxed

Oh?Vacuum?: I think????

Shamwow: he's flirting

Shamwow: kirishima and he train all the time they'll be responsible

Shamwow: wait one moment


*(Link) Mic voice* HhyyA HYUH H Y A H U H HHHYAAAA channel




Cutieshima: I'm caCKLING

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: I'm obliged to tell you both to be safe

Bakuslay: FUCK YOU DAD

Shamwow: huh

Shamwow is now idle


Snipe machine broke -13 channel


Chloroform: I'm just saying that if you hypothetically gave me his name I could hypothetically hook u two up and hypothetically go home to my real life actual girlfriend happy & satisfied

McFUCK: I don't trust you with any personal information at all

Shamwow: don't

Shamwow: she'll grab onto one piece and then never let go

Banoodle: you told her you didn't watch power rangers or super sentai once

Shamwow: and she hasn't failed to bring it up everytime I try to talk about techniques or Kirishima’s unbreakable form

Chloroform: unbreakable body

Banoodle: fantastic technique

Shamwow: hmu with that being thrown into space idea

Oh?Vacuum?: The big succy n the big push


Fangboi: I

Oh?Vacuum?: Yikes!! Wrong chat!!!

McFUCK: I hate this song,,,


PebbleSkip: This is the single worst thing that's ever happened to me

Oh?Vacuum?: Your face hasn't changed :(

PebbleSkip: Clearly, I am absolutely distraught.

Oh?Vacuum?: Idk why I'm even dating you :/

Chloroform: WHO

Chloroform: WHEN

Chloroform: W HAT

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm joking fkshshala



Oh?Vacuum?: >::((((((

PebbleSkip: Mmm this is also a bad thing that is happening to me at this present moment in time

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm sorrrrryyy D:::

PebbleSkip: I'm not upset, disappointed or angry with you I could never

Boo is no longer idle

Boo: hit me with that gay shit

Shamwow: why are these the words you chose to use upon entry

Boo: idk seemed fun

Banoodle: idk why or what prompted it but I love u ectoplasm ur great

Boo: jinkies that's an emotion

Banoodle: abstract noun but we won't get technical

Shamwow: please dont

Boo: but am I wrong?

Oh?Vacuum?: It's always gay when you're non binary

Boo: yikes™ guess I was right

PebbleSkip: half of the staff here are gay

Banoodle: tbh I have no idea how we haven't had someone talk shit to us yet

Shamwow: our principal dad looks out for us don't question it

Chloroform: principal dad

Shamwow: (I'm taking a leaf out of my entire class's book and accepting father figures into my life. Try it.)

Cryptid: I don't even know my own species do you think I'm going to hire someone who isn't tolerant

Banoodle: fair point m’good sir

McFUCK: don't do this to me

Boo: Snipe!! My mAN we still up for training after hours today?

Banoodle: hm,,

McFUCK: hhhhhyeah surre

Chloroform: oh sweetie

Boo: Nice! :D

Sonic: oh boy

Banoodle: mood

Boo: Wait actually!!! I need to push it back a few minutes because one of my students wanted a hand with their work?

McFUCK: yhhaeh that's fucci

McFUCK: gcxi

McFUCK: thirfbeen plold rmove urself from my armrs

Boo: cute

Oh?Vacuum?: My bad!

McFUCK: wait what


McFUCK: okay??

Boo: oKJay bgYE

Boo is now idle

Shamwow: not this again

Chloroform: I'm fuckgin laughing

Chapter Text

Banoodle: Hey y’all this is a PSA, I love my husband and he's a fucking NINJA

Shamwow: mm bad song


Shamwow: bad song


Shamwow: Terrible song!


Chloroform: is this one of your gay competitions over who can love and support their s/o with emi

Banoodle: no I just rlly love my husband

Shamwow: he woke up crying

Shamwow: he wouldn't look at me so I thought it had been a nightmare and tried to see if he was okay

Shamwow: and he calmed down a little

Shamwow: then he turned and looked at me and started crying all over again and I got fuckgin scared

Shamwow: and then he just sobs 'youre so fucking pretty - inside and out- this is illegal I married the best person ever’

Banoodle: I did I fucking love him

Banoodle: look at him!!!!

Banoodle: LOOK!!

Chloroform: I'm looking?

Banoodle: LOOK!!!!

Shamwow: I don't know what's happening but I'm terrified and there are like 5+ pairs of eyes on me

Banoodle: L O O K ! ! ! ! ! !

Shamwow: zashi you can stop now

Banoodle but I love you so fuckgin much

Shamwow: yes I love you too I'd rather die before the possibility of hurting you in any way shape or form but it's not necessary

Shamwow: what's necessary is yelling at snipe about his obvious crush and how I can't stand to watch him literally wheeze from the across the room when he sneezes

McFUCK: he's so cute

Shamwow: I'm sure

Shamwow: you know what else is cute?

Banoodle: Shouta.

Shamwow: Cats. I was going to say cats.

McFUCK: he's,, better, than a c at though

S̥̜͙͍̼͡h̤͇̞a̡̨̝m̧̼͎̲͉͈̯̪̗͇w͙̻̖̯o̡͠͏̳͕w̛͞͏͈̙͕̺͕̠̰̳:̸̴͈̼̕ ̴͙̳̗͢y̶̗͓͇͚̮͠o̷̯͇͟u̯̹̝͉͉̟͜͡ ̵̵͏̲̘̺̦̖͔͎ṭ̢̧̩̱̝̫a̸̹k̵̪̹̖̤͚͢e̳͓̻̦̪ͅ ̙̥̬̜͘͠t̞͔h̰̰̫a̵̬̝̙͠͞ͅt̲͎̪͉̠̺̫͖̕ ̸̯̹̠͔͢r͉̤̦̖̫̕͢͝ͅi̜̭̯̖̲̬͟g̸͈̻̘̪̭̥ẖ̩͠͝͠t̤͎̖̮̺̪̖̮͝ ̡̲̱͓t̟̟̗̹̬͜ͅh̸̢̳͘e̞͕̰̻͇̯̙ ̣̪͕̻f̧̧͉̝̥u̮̬̞̭̤c̨̳͈̺͎͍̹k̸̛̞̫͎̬͖̜̩̗͢ ͏̷̱̤̲͖͖͚b̶̴̛̦̫̗͇̻̭a̞͎̱c̷̟͉̪̩̦̪k̢̞̠̖͕̗̗ ̰͕͙͇̼̜͉
Banoodle: babe :(

Chloroform: you married that

Banoodle: I know!!!!! I love him!!!! :D

S̸̴̻̳͔̠̰͎̻͟͡͡h̡̨̨̺̳̞̘̪̥̦͇̤̹̯͞͝a̧͔̺̳̖̬̱̟͘m͏̢̫̬͙̺̲̭̭w̶̧̞̝͙̩̺̲̭͔͔͈̖̖̤̰̤̳̮̠͕̕͘o͝҉̘͚̬̮w̨̳̭̱͉̗͓̙̺͡:̵̸̙̝̝̟̜͈̟ ͏̵̢̦͉͓͈̦̟̻̬͔͔̟͟h̷̵̤̤͚̭͖͈͢͜͟ͅw̨̭̭̟̪̟̺̫͙̟͖̥̣̞͘ ͈̞͈̳̣̰̣͘͟͡͡q̶̨̢̛̘̣̩͓̰̯͕̪͔̱͖͈͚͉̬̕ͅr̶͙̻̫̫̫̼͜͟͢q̶̛̟̗̥̟̪̪͉̰̻ ̵̵͈͈̬̝̺̼͜͠ͅp̷̨̺͚͖̣̬͚̞͍͓̺͍̺̤̗̞͚͞r̶̠̭̻͍̠̗̟͔̤̗̺͈ͅu̴̴̦͉̹̲̘̭̳̩̕͝l̴͔̫̙͍͇̞͍͇͕͓͇̬̘̯̥̩̱̺̕͢h͡͏̤̘̟̺͔̪̖̝̘͙͘ų̧͏͇̫̺͙͍͍̠͔͎̗̺̳l̵̪̞̮̞̮̮͕̫̼͔̲͉͚͢͠v̛̬̝̤̝̠̖̙̻̞̰̝̦̲͚̬ ̡̝̘̟̗̕͘͟p̸̷̧̣̲̗͎̱͍̘̘̞͔̖̖̕͞ḩ̶̵͍͚͉̣̩̺͍̜̱̖̣̬̦̤̲̜̕ư҉̥̙̬̲̖͈͈̯͓̜͓͇̜͙͇l̛̻̠͙͡g̳͖̙̖̲͙̜̥̗̱̺̻̗̹̕͟ͅl̸̢̩͓͙̩͔̦͚̤̪̲̙̬͎̣̹͚̕͟͞h͟͏̡̹̳̥̫̣̺̘̤̜̳͕̝̝̯͖͚

Banoodle: use your words babe, the comprehendible ones <3 :)

Shamwow: okay

McFUCK: I fucking hate this family

Shamwow: cats are beautiful fucking creatures and if you think your obvious ass topic of interest is anywhere close to or even remotely above their esteemed and heightened platform then you are mistaken my good sir

Chloroform: what the actual fuck did that even say I'm so tired of trying to translate shouta’s old god text

Banoodle: 'you will die at noon’

McFUCK: did he threaten me with a high noon joke

Shamwow: >:3c

McFUCK: hm,, don't like that,,

Sonic: quick question how the f uck does one scared boy decipher the cryptid text, asking for a friend

Cryptid: It's probably poor latin run through a caesar cipher, the number of shifts probably varies depending on the message but that was 3 shifts to the right.

Banoodle: rip called out by his own one (1) smart confusing-animal dad

Sonic: o kay, doesn't explain the weird text warping,,

Cryptid: Does my name meaning nothing in this house?

Shamwow: considering you randomly appear out of random places (read: my scarf), I think people don't believe you exist.

Cryptid: Jokes on them, I'm going to break their knees :^)

Shamwow: dad no

Cryptid: Son, sometimes, you can be civilised and sort things out rationally. Other times you have to break people's knees. That's how it is on this bitch of an earth.

Sonic: wise words thx,, dad,,?

Cryptid: :^)

Shamwow: hm

Fangboi: That doesn't look reassuring at all.

Banoodle: oh no

RuhRuh: idgsk botuh yooiu Bhutan my rnunNIGNg fIRR mY LFIE

Fangboi: “I don't know about you but I'm running for my life”

Banoodle: thanks official dog talk translator

RuhRoh: ikLfuZ CK YGOUG yyIp

Fangboi: “I'll fuck you up”

Banoodle: yip

RuhRoh: SHURUT!!!!!

Fangboi: “SHUT!!!!!”

Shamwow: asking for a student,

Shamwow: does breaking kneecaps apply to uhhh,,,,, whole [B]onless flame man?

Cryptid: Son that's an influential hero

Shamwow: so,, yeah?

Cryptid: son this is a diplomacy issue

Cryptid: also you technically have more custody over young Todoroki than Endeavour currently

Stronft: Also, Endeavour is 'apparently’ trying to better himself and become a better hero for the public as well as a better father figure

Shamwow: h m that's nice it's good he's developing but hhhhhhhhhhhhes not fucking getting off for the shit he pulled

Shamwow: he's not getting his fucking son back that's My Boy Now.

Chloroform: I had Kirishima come up to me in class today and whisper 'adopt my boyfriend’ under his breath

Shamwow: yeah he's on my warning list

Banoodle: babe

Shamwow: don't comment on the fact I have a warning list I see 'several people are typing’ right now I know what the fuck I said, Karen.

Shamwow: the way he interacts with kids and some classmates is a little concerning but right now but I think he's developing alright, I'll talk to his parents and see if something changes because there's a problem right now but I want to see if his parents are willing to change first

Shamwow: if not I guess I'm getting another kid?

Banoodle: we started the year with two cats and now we might have three whole kids

Shamwow: this is the worst I came here to expel students and now I have kids instead

Chloroform: you say the worst but we know you love all twenty of them

Shamwow: I've only known these kids for a few months but if anything happened to them I'd kill everyone in the room and then myself

Banoodle: The Time We Should’ve Brought Chapstick To The USJ proves that

Chloroform: rip shouta, sold his soul to 20 whole kids & now he's attached

Sonic: nah bro, rip Hizashi

Sonic: fell for the kid that decked him and didn't speak to anyone, married him and now has 20 kids too

Banoodle: ur saying that like it's a bad thing

Banoodle: at least I talked to the person I liked ;3c

Sonic: get off mY DICK HIZASHI

Banoodle: “Hizashi you really need to speak to Shouta already having you talk about how fucking hot it was for him to punch you in the face every day is getting tiring”

Banoodle: me, already dating the boy behind your back: hahaha yes I can do that of course now spEAK TO UR CRUSH TOO

Banoodle: you, a weakling: “but zzaaaasshhhiii”

Chloroform: oh I was just laughing at shouta every day

Shamwow: her favourite pastime was throwing music suggestions at me that had suggestive titles

Banoodle: now we've clearly established how badly we all handle crushes: EY YO SNIPE

McFUCK: ah, don't like that.

Banoodle: UR MAN

McFUCK: really don't like this

Banoodle: TALK TO H I M

McFUCK: n O?

Banoodle: fine I'm coming over to your desk


Banoodle: >:3c

Chloroform: man 15 years of shouta has definitely rubbed of on you

Sonic: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chloroform: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shamwow: delete this

Chapter Text



Chloroform: this is my DESTINY SNIPE


Oh?Vacuum?: Please doNT GET HURT!!!

Shamwow: are you wearing stilettos

Chloroform: ye

Oh?Vacuum?: Oh d E   ar please don't fall D:

Chloroform: I won't ;*

Oh?Vacuum?: (/0//∆//0\)

PebbleSkip: cute

Oh?Vacuum?: \(^///0///^\)

McFUCK: stop being cute while midnight is literally pulling a megaphone out while standing on my desk

Oh?Vacuum?: Kfgaja a kayama p lease

Chloroform: STEP UP COWBOY

McFUCK: b uT



Boo is no longer idle

Boo: you okay over there???


Boo: oof

Shamwow: mood

Banoodle: >:(

Shamwow: clearly I mean anti mood

Banoodle: :/

Shamwow: :/

Banoodle: :/

Shamwow: :/

Banoodle: :/

Shamwow: ://////

Banoodle: >://////////////

Boo: what the fuck

Banoodle: :V

Shamwow: :/

Banoodle: >:Y

Banoodle: >:Y !!!!

Shamwow: :/

Banoodle: fkegkV dkagkaOF HSKAVELQ

Shamwow: >:3c

Banoodle: :’0

Shamwow: >;3c

Banoodle: :000000

Boo: wh

Sonic: this is the worst

Chloroform: I hate that I understood all of that

McFUCK: how,, even,,,,

Chloroform: not important let's focus on the bIG FUCKING MOOD


Boo: seriously are you okay?


Chloroform: enjoy the view cowboy ;)


Chloroform: ur right! And it's a m o o d

Oh?Vacuum?: 'no? Me me gay cowboy?’ is going to be immortalised

McFUCK: I regret befriending you

Oh?Vacuum?: Lie

Banoodle: oof a callout

TCrews: why are all of you so nosey? And noisy???

RuhRoh: rowdy kids = rowdy adults

Fangboi: H ey now

PebbleSkip: I'm offended

RuhRoh: You two are good, others are too loud, annoying ://

Banoodle: that's my quirk

Shamwow: how am I vaguely loud?

RuhRoh: Eraser voice: IT WAS A LOGICAL RUSE!!

RuhRoh: entire class voice: NANI THE FUCK?

TCrews: *eraser voice* Maijima, mic stole my fucking scarves again and keeps tping the school with them

Shamwow: h ow was that my fault

TCrews: you married him and gave him access to your capture weapon

Shamwow: fair

Banoodle: rude

Chloroform: to be fair, we couldn't get in the storage cupboard until shouta came into school because the scarves were unusually tight and they weren't responding to us

TCrews: which was Super Weird™

Shamwow: :)

TCrews: Wow! Don't Like That!

TCrews: what did you do my fuckgin kid

Shamwow: oh, you know ;)

TCrews: if you crypt-fucked up my goddamn kid I'm going to have to cordially invite you to the pit

Shamwow: meet me in five bitch boy

Banoodle: you both have lessons

Shamwow: meet me at some point in the day

TCrews: you better hope to shit your secondary quirk just bonded to the scarves and you didn't actually dunk your god damn capture weapon into the void I swear

Chloroform: what is it with the support department and calling items their kids?

TCrews: I Made That With My Own Two Hands

Chloroform: that's fair

Sonic: that concept was rlly fuckgin hard to come up with

Sonic: *me under my breath every single day for a year* he basically wants a non lethal garrote the fuck??

Shamwow: killing the villains would make me more of an endeavour underground hero I don't need that in my life

TCrews: say thank you to the nice boy for realising this was a thing

Shamwow: I did that in first year already

Sonic: it's okay bro I understand I love u too

Shamwow: Di sgusting

Banoodle: (hey Tensei)

Sonic: (yeah bro?)

Banoodle: (shouta called tenya by his first name in front of his whole class and amended it by writing 'study hall’ on the blackboard and then sitting down to stare at his hands)

Sonic: (oof mood)

Shamwow: (the only real way to deal with your problems is to avoid them)

Banoodle: (don't take that advice ever)

Boo: oh s hit whose kids are those outside

Fangboi: oh no

Shamwow: oh shit

Shamwow: I'm so tired of these kids,,

Fangboi: wait those aren't our kids

Shamwow: oh shit

Banoodle: whose kids are these

Boo: idk but I'm terrified hold me

Chloroform: owo

McFUCK: get off my desk when you're making that face this isn't the mlm wlm solidarity that I asked for

Boo: oof

Chloroform: I'm filling requests and this is one of them

McFUCK: whomst the fuckve

PebbleSkip: I'm so tired of you

McFUCK: lHkdhsksvFJSGA

Oh?Vacuum?: Pls just get it over with we love & support u


Boo: oof

Banoodle: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Shamwow: sure it is, we're just sparta-ing you into a pit of emotion


Boo: oof

RuhRoh: nIIOISSYEEY!!!!!!!!

Fangboi: “Noisey!”

Shamwow: yeey is the noise one of my kids makes

RuhRoh: KFBAKSHSKSHS!!!£!!#!##)@3+02

Banoodle: I'm fkrhsks

Fangboi: I can't believe you broke hound dog

Shamwow: sometimes that's just how it is

McFUCK: b ut

Chloroform: what did I just say about buts

McFUCK: he's like an angel??

McFUCK: okay Google, how to stop my emotions?

Chloroform: forget a rabbit hole you've fallen down a fuckin well my dude

McFUCK: I'm cryin squirtle

Boo: o o f


Boo: ?????


McFUCK is now idle

Oh?Vacuum?: A Big Baby

PebbleSkip: I love him but this is ridiculous

Boo: oof.

Chloroform: owo what's this??


Boo is now idle

Oh?Vacuum?: I hope snipe runs into ecto full force

Shamwow: we can only hope.

Chloroform: it's not like you to encourage this shouta!

Shamwow: I'm so tired of James McFuck choking on his fucking water during practice

Shamwow: we have a fucking mission in a week, I will take them flirting over a shared channel over them not doing their jobs any day

Oh?Vacuum?: James McFuck

Sonic: he's valid

Chloroform: I support him

Banoodle: he's doing amazing sweetie

Shamwow: he really isn't

Oh?Vacuum?: leave him alone,,,

Shamwow: n o

Shamwow: I'm not leaving either or them alone

Shamwow: because if I leave them alone there's either going to be an abundance of awkward laughter and pained jokes or utter awkward silence and either way it's awkward so I might as well be there as a filler

Shamwow: at least then I can deal with ectoplasm pulling his 'haha bitch, while I'm running away from the station to buy my fiftieth coffee, you're going to speak to my clone for an hour who will then dissolve because I walked in and saw a cowboy asleep on his chair’

Banoodle: careful!!!!!! They can read that!!!!

Shamwow: Honestly I Don't Care

Shamwow: get it ovEr with

Banoodle: honestly I don't know why I'm expecting a lot of shouta he asked me out in the bluntest way possible and stayed that way for 15 years

Oh?Vacuum?: You chose to marry him


Oh?Vacuum?: This Wasn’t The Point

Shamwow: look what you've done now I need to run again

Oh?Vacuum?: I'll buy you coffee later

Shamwow: nice. Heart: sold, forgiveness: won, caffeine: being anxiously awaited

Banoodle: I am forcibly yeeted out the staff room

Banoodle: wait I haven't been yeeted yet?

Banoodle: babe you okay??

Shamwow: mmmmm hagakure @ed me on the channel and i,,

Shamwow: snipe fucking walked into ectoplasm,,, head on,,,,,,,




PebbleSkip: I mean his quirk is literally 'honing’ and we all know where he's aiming

RuhRoh: Jrbsksbja

Fangboi: gibberish

Fangboi: so, mood

McFUCK is no longer idle



Banoodle: no ur gay ass definitely didn't lie to you

Sonic: your gaydar was so strong you full on walked into a bitch


Boo is no longer idle

McFUCK: KrhkshskaabKRHSKA

Boo: waIT!!

Boo: c  o m Eb a ck,,

McFUCK: ?????

Banoodle: wh

Chloroform: plot twist

Oh?Vacuum?: I love both of you

Boo: I know this and I love you

Boo: I just wanna talk about some stuff snipe, it's not gonna be bad!! Unless,,, it is,, but u know we'll burn that bridge when we get to it :)

Banoodle: that,,, that's not the saying

Boo: I know what I wrote.

Chapter Text

Cat group therapy pls n thank channel


Shamwow: me, slipping into the kitchen at three am to find the Most Delicious Drink of them all: mmm vinegar

Xenomorph: wh

DeezWatts: d

DeezWatts: dad????

CandyCRONCH: I'm so distressed right now

Shamwow: Ah, This Wasn't The Right Chat, And I Really Don't Want To Give Context Right Now - Or Ever.

Whomst: are you alright???

Infernape: I'm concerned

Venonat: I'm crying,,

Vulpix: I'm telling Yamada

Shamwow: w a iIT n o

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: babe :((

Shamwow: I don't need family they disappoint me

Vulpix: oof

Venonat: oof

Banoodle: oof

McFUCK is no longer idle

McFUCK: are we talkin’ vinegar sippin’ again

Murkrow: let me take a fuckgin sip of that sweet death juice

McFUCK: Aizawa what did you do

Shamwow: g od

Tentacruel: you don't even have lips, fumikage

Murkrow: yeah well

Murkrow: you don't either

Tentacruel: touché

Xenomorph: man that must make kissing difficult for you two

Murkrow: I mean,, y es ?

DeezWatts: how do you even kiss someone with no lips???

Murkrow: badly

McFUCK: very carefully

Tentacruel: trial and error

Tentacruel: wait what

Murkrow: sir???


Shamwow: ah, so you sorted that out then?



Whomst: oh yeah, with who?

McFUCK: deAtH?

Shamwow: god I wish

Murkrow: a soft cowboy bebop emo boy

Infernape: and there u go again,,

Banoodle: >>>:::((((

Shamwow: I mean, no of course not mmmm,, sipping my,,, life,, juice,,,,?

Banoodle: A for effort, Kristen

Xenomorph: goals

Xenomorph: anyway,, snipES GOT A  S/O I REP E A T

McFUCK: stop thIs,,

Xenomorph: S N I P E  H A S  A  S / O 

Shamwow: ah, your turn now, motherfucker?

McFUCK: I crave the bitter sweet release of the void

Tentacruel: we can arrange that

McFUCK: oh hell naw not you kids too

DeezWatts: oh my god it's not just me

McFUCK: honestly just run kid

Banoodle: or don't, and score a sweet bf out of it

DeezWatts: I already have a boyfriend

Banoodle: oh, I see

Banoodle: you're the void boyfriend

DeezWatts: sjgITHSKA

Sonic is no longer idle

Sonic: hizashi, you're not allowed to comment on void matters when you're married to the void’s literal personification

Banoodle: bitch


Cutieshima: I love and support you mina,, but this is very thorough of you?

Xenomorph: I'm enthusiastic. It's good to have hobbies >:3c

Shamwow: not these ones,,

FrenchSparkleParty: I get the feeling we're intruding on a teacher's life again~

Xenomorph: oui oui, sparkle bitch we're going in

FrenchSparkleParty: quelle the fuck???

DeezWatts: m baguette

FrenchSparkleParty: you just ripped out my heart

FrenchSparkleParty: just,, bit off a cheesy chunk and fucking ran away, kaminari I hope you return to face your judgement

BandaidArms: cheesus

FrenchSparkleParty: stop this, the French Government is going to infiltrate Japan just to eradicate your heresy

DeezWatts: oh cheez

FrenchSparkleParty: ah, you are motherfucker?

Xenomorph: I feel like “ah, you are motherfucker?” Has become the norm in this chat its p iconic now

Shamwow: ah, it is motherfucker?

Sonic: ah, wrong chat motherfucker?

Shamwow: ah, know what I said motherfucker

Sonic: I hate that I read that in snipes 'im angery’ accent

Vulpix: his what

Banoodle: rekt

Shamwow: say that word again and I'll adopt another cat

Vulpix: I'm sorry his what?????

Banoodle: rekt

Shamwow: kids we're going to the rescue shelter

Vulpix: I'm getting swerved again.


Shamwow: that's what I did in school and that's what I'll do now, in school, but older.

Sonic: bro,, shouta adopting a cat to solve issues is literally his thing

Banoodle: fkshaka babe,,, later I promise??

Shamwow: fine



Chloroform: sooooooooooooooooo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sonic: so????

Chloroform: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chloroform: Tensei u kno ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sonic: jfc someone just change her prefix to a Lenny face already

Shamwow: too much effort

Banoodle: literally just wait for snipe to come in watch this

Banoodle: @ McFUCK Midnight's gonna wreck your shit if you don't come in here

McFUCK is no longer idle



Fangboi: what does 'mostly’ even mean

TCrews: I hate that we have to spell it out, but he's got prostethics, Kan.

Fangboi: what

McFUCK: he's got stick legs, Kan.

Fangboi: yes??

McFUCK: how in the shit did you think those were his real legitimate legs?

Sonic: even drunk me isnt that stupid

Banoodle: I beg to differ

Sonic: shut up

Banoodle: no u shut up why are you even h e re you're not even a teacher???

Sonic: I had to apologise for the shadow the hedgehog rawring incident and then no one removed me

Boo is no longer idle

McFUCK: :0000!!

Oh?Vacuum?: (^o^)/

Shamwow: correction: I attempted to remove you and then kayama kept re-adding you

PebbleSkip: (^^)b

Chloroform: sometimes that's just how it be

Boo: ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ ~

Shamwow: also Kan just talk to shouji about limb loss jfc

Shamwow: you literally saw his detached limbs before

Fangboi: yeah but they grow back?

Boo: wait can your son just casually grow limbs??

Shamwow: shouji?

Boo: is there another student who has the ability to grow multiple limbs???

Shamwow: touché, and yeah, I guess?

Boo: god I wish that were me

Sonic: alright Mr Elric

Boo: hdSntjsa

McFUCK: this is the worst thing anyone has ever insulted me with via boyfriend

Oh?Vacuum?: That would canonically make you Winry

McFUCK: oof I accept this hell yeah, that's a good character right there

Sonic: yikes looks like I'm the biggest Single Pringle here

Sonic: lmao Kan wanna date

Fangboi: nah

Fangboi: literally already dating Ryou

Sonic: whGA

RuhRoh: ;)

Sonic: and you had the audacity to call me a furry

TCrews: Tensei Iida, local playboy: literally one of the only single people here

Sonic: I'm offended on so many levels

Chloroform: the key to being a good homeroom teacher in the heroics department is fuckin dating other teachers

Shamwow: having the connections helps, certainly.

Banoodle: oof

TCrews: okay but actually who out of the teachers was already dating their s/o before they became a teacher?


TCrws: aside from you and eraser, I've heard you talk about him too often

Banoodle: oof

Shamwow: hah

RuhRoh: me n kan since like 2 or 3 years before I started teaching, Kan was already working here n then I got a recommendation

RuhRoh: wasn't by Kan btw

Fangboi: it was recovery girl, seeing as you're very good at determining the emotions of the children.

RuhRoh: wouldn't be the (lifestyle) guidance counselor otherwise ://

Fangboi: I know this and I love you

RuhRoh: fkshkshKahdkaba

Fangboi: see that meant something

Shamwow: still doesn't help me read it

Fangboi: then perish

TCrews: back to my question? Cementoss??

PebbleSkip: Thirteen and I had already been dating before becoming teachers. We were on a special task force for rescue missions during a series of crises about 8 years before entering the educational department and kept in contact for all of those. We started our relationship a year before Thirteen received the invitation to teach and build the USJ building, which I assisted in.

Boo: snipe and I literally just had several days worth of trying not to fess up only to fess up you know where we stand

McFUCK: crookedly, to the side of the group and kind of behind everyone else because of Tall

Boo: thanks I hate it

Banoodle: the other teachers never come on here they're terrified of our pure unadulterated cursed energy

Chloroform: personally, I blame shouta

Shamwow: I'm going to eat your shins

Sonic: what the fuck

Cryptid: Son, I have some Major Concerns.

Chloroform: this is why I personally blame shouta

Stronft: i,,

Banoodle: he's laugh snorting I,,,

Banoodle: I love him,,,,, so much??????

Shamwow: I meAnt to wriTE KICK iM fjshaa

Sonic: pwease no cwonchy!!

Stronft: I,,,,,,


Chloroform: when someone flirts with me but emi is right next to me: pwease no fwirty!

Sonic: when ur birthday and the existential dread hits just right: pwease no thiwty

Chloroform: wait brb Emi just came home from her precinct’s party

Chloroform is now idle

Sonic: oof I forgot that was on

Shamwow: she tried to make me come

Banoodle: shouta voice, “I'm not getting drunk I've got work tomorrow”

Sonic: you're just bitter because you came into school with a hangover once and that's partially why your sunglasses are iconic

Banoodle: they are tinted prescription lenses, and I wasn't that hungover!!

Shamwow: you started crying because the heat fans on your computer made noise

Banoodle: oghsaan

Sonic: named n shamed

Banoodle: I can't believe my boyfriend has done this

Banoodle: husband! We're married

Fangboi: you literally remind us every day how did you forget

Banoodle: idk time flies when ur with who u love ;)

Shamwow: rkwhKah

RuhRoh: you broke him


Cat group therapy pls n thank channel


Chloroform is no longer idle

Chloroform: lmao back emi keeps trying to drink egg yolk

Shamwow: gotta throw the whole girlfriend away

Chloroform: fkshsks time to play,,

Chloroform: the ultimate drunk party game: truth or die

Sonic: I think you mean interrogation or murder

Banoodle: good cop bad cop

Stronft: not this, only villains do this.

Shamwow: I hate that I know all of you

Venonat: I hate that you had to have that discussion in our chat

Sonic: o h


Run™: I'm not angry

Sonic: shit

Run™: just disappointed.

Sonic: I'm crygintnsbsba noooo

Sonic: bro I'm sorry

Sonic: interrogation or murder will not be brought up again

Shamwow: (it will he's trying to make us go bar hopping with him tonight)

Sonic: I will wheel you off a cliff

Shamwow: :/

Sonic: ur right I won't

Banoodle: haha gay

Sonic: I mean

Venonat: your name is plausibly gay bruncle on my phone

Sonic: that's fair

Shamwow: I still have work tommorow shit head

Sonic: umtjsgska you've gone on a patrol while hungover before

Shamwow: no I haven't (that's irresponsible and illogical, why turn up to the job at all if you're not going to be able to do it?) but I have gone to a meeting hungover

Shamwow: (a terrible decision, don't do it kids)

Xenomorph: (noted thanks dad)

Cutieshima: oof how did you even s urvive

Banoodle: badly

Shamwow: also that was before Paranoia and Intense Anxiety kicked in

Pure: oof

Stronft: oof indeed

Banoodle: emi isn't here so I have to keep her legacy alive by finishing that sentence with: Young Thot

Stronft: I hate you

Banoodle: oOF

Shamwow: that was your own doing

Vulpix: it's true but you shouldn't say it

Shamwow: I'm saying it

Vulpix: that's fair

Venonat: this family just memes and I hate it

Banoodle: one of those statements is a lie

Venonat: this family just memes was the lie


Shamwow: you set the alarm for 3:30

Banoodle: oh yeah

Shamwow: it's my day off

Venonat: I fell asleep at approximately uhhhhhh never

Vulpix: mood

Cutieshima: what the heCk get some reST!!

Whomst: ^^^ D:<

Venonat: my girlfriend is lovely and I love her, but also I am Bad At Sleeping

Whomst: uugh ofc when ojiro is away is when we need him to sneak me into the boys dorm

Murkrow: I've got you

Tentacruel: you realise you could literally just walk in, your quirk is being invisible

Whomst: I know but then I can't sneak in clothes it's too much effort

Shamwow: I'm trusting you to actually sleep so it's fine, just hurry up before Kan sees

Whomst: thank!!!!!

Venonat: blessed

Chloroform: (softy)

Shamwow: (shut the fuck your hell)

Vulpix: before you ask, midoriya is already in my room and tenya is asleep, he's a bit soft pillow I'm,, blessed,,

Pure: :DD

Shamwow: look, the kids are trying to sleep, why don't you?

Banoodle: I'm soRRY I have a drive going and I didn't want the others at the station to get swamped!!

Shamwow: Hizashi, I love you so much - I really honestly do, but it's also your day off why did you forsake this household

Shamwow: that's it I'm knocking you out I'm not even this bad

Banoodle: baBE nO

Shamwow: say goodnight to present mic children he's going to go take a long nap

Banoodle: alL MIGHT HELP

Stronft: what's that? Suddenly I don't know.

Shamwow: correct response

Banoodle: fkshskshskahwaha

Venonat: take a fuckgin nap dad

Vulpix: this is a call out post for one (1) Yamada Hizashi, you haven't slept in 28 hours and you Really Need To

Banoodle: fkksba fine!!!

Banoodle: Say bye to shouta kids he's getting abducted by my long clingy spindly arms

Shamwow: I have around five complaints but they can wait

Cutieshima: gay mood

DeezWatts: getting dragged into a cuddle is UA culture

Cutieshima: ur saying that BC the Bakusquad is being Real Cuddly rn

BandaidArms: it's a good hug (I'm using Kirishima's chest as a pillow ofjsbsa)

Cutieshima: (;3c)

DeezWatts: (mina pls move ur head a lil ur horn dug into me me rib,,)

Xenomorph: (hfksbsa I'm sorry!!)

Xenomorph: warm™

Bakuslay: you all better fucking sleep before I knock your dumb asses out

Cutieshima: I love him

Bakuslay: fsgkaha

Chapter Text

Banoodle: HEY HEY HEY!!!!!

Banoodle: How's my most favourite #1 listener doing tonight? Resting well and keeping warm I hope?

Banoodle: shou?

Banoodle: shooouuuuu you alright??

Shamwow: yeah sorry

Shamwow: mochi was lying on my arm I couldn't pick up

Banoodle: oof well, how are your bandages™

Shamwow: good, healing, come home.

Banoodle: fkshsks I will I promise just give me a bit

Shamwow: I know but hurry up

Banoodle: babe,,

Banoodle: I'm omw home now, you need anything?

Shamwow: no

Banoodle: alright what's on your mind? 

Banoodle: I can tell something's up, you can tell me when I get home if you want

Shamwow: mirio is probably amazing at Bethesda games

Banoodle: fhskshsk babe I'm coming back from the station r ight now have you even slept?

Shamwow: the answer to that is obvious and we both know it

Banoodle: I'll be home in like 20 minutes

Shamwow: hhh

Shamwow: please hurry

Banoodle: you alright love?

Shamwow: I miss you

Banoodle: fjkfdhs I miss you too kitten I promise I'll be home soon

Shamwow: you need more sleep

Banoodle: says you :)

Shamwow: you're tired

Banoodle: mm yeah well

Banoodle: I've had a lot of fundraisers recently

Banoodle: I'll ask for some time off alright?

Banoodle: as long as you do as well, don't think I don't see that paperwork piling up from your cases!

Shamwow: for you, anything

Banoodle: babe

Banoodle: that's really gay

Shamwow: that's really the point, zashi

Venonat: as much as I appreciate my super gay parents

Venonat: it's like five am no one needs to see this

Banoodle: I thought we were in PMs that's my bad

Shamwow: you've seen worse

Shamwow: I'm not ashamed of how much I love my husband

Shamwow: I love him a whole lot he's great

Shamwow: that's my great fucking husband

Shamwow: I don't even vaguely understand how lucky I got with this man

Shamwow: because he's everything I'm not and he's so fucking perfect and I don't know why he chose me

Banoodle: fucjbfsinasha,,

Banoodle: alright get off the phone and open the door I'm in the building

Venonat: ughhdhdhs gay

Shamwow: you have, a whole boyfriend, and a whole girlfriend.

Venonat: you have a whole husband

Shamwow: touché, tell everyone to go to sleep I can hear you all hushing each other in the other dorm

Shamwow: also the fact that at least 8 of you are invisible instead of your usual two statuses

Whomst: I'm always invisible???

Banoodle: you were the person he was unsure was online

Banoodle: mmm one moment I'm going to hit n run

Shamwow: wait Hizashi pl

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle is now idle

Vulpix: haha mood

Vulpix: we need a love and appreciate the parental units day

Xenomorph: A day for sobbing over Aizawa, Mic, All Might, Midnight, and Thirteen

Cutieshima: snipe and ectoplasm are the gay uncles

Xenomorph: ah so that's who he's kissing

Cutieshima: how did you not find out

Xenomorph: that's not a concern, what is, is that they are our gay uncles

DeezWatts: ur not wrong

DeezWatts: for real tho can we get a sob session over all might for a bit

DeezWatts: he's so good

Pure: he's the best dad I've ever had

Xenomorph: no matter what happens I get the feeling midoriya is always going to be the #1 all might fan

Pure: yeah!!!

BandaidArms: hey I don't mean to intrude but why'd you like him so much? I mean he's great!! I love our other dad but like, it's different with you I guess?

Xenomorph: ^^

Murkrow: his hugs are soft who wouldn't love him

Pure: uhh

Pure: I don't know I guess like,,

Pure: he's been so nice to me?

Pure: and I'm not used to people in general (that's just how it be in this anxious bitch of a world)

Pure: and just having the person you've looked up to for your whole life support you even though you're the underdog in practically every situation just

Pure: it really hits home?

Pure: my dad's never been around and it hit my mom really hard

Pure: and she's been stressed and just as anxious as me and I think having all might there at least helps a little

Pure: I don't know it sounds stupid mm

Vulpix: it's not stupid izuku

Run™: Not at all!!! We know what you’re talking about :D

Venonat: I definitely get it

BandaidArms: it's not stupid I understand

Xenomorph: yeah!! We totally get it!

Kewwo: all might is one of our best parental units and I love him he's valid

Bakuslay: he doesn't treat me like a villain or absolute ass and fucking understands problems if I tell him about them so I guess he's pretty good

Cutieshima: he's really reassuring and supportive!!

Whomst: I'm pretty sure he tries to keep at least 1 piece of advice for everyone at all times

Whomst: which is great because being a stealth hero with invisibility, it's hard to get any good advice :/

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: returning from my hit and run for like three seconds, all might is very understanding and is able to ask for help when he requires it, despite my dislike for his methods as a hero, he is an admirable teacher as well as role model. Just be sure not to try and become him. You are your own hero and your own person. Okay back to running.

Shamwow is now idle

Venonat: I want you all to be aware that a 'hit and run’ for these people is Yamada chasing Aizawa through the rooms to try and pepper him in kisses and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen

Vulpix: oh, worm?

Whomst: they're the cutest thing and it's not even valentine's day yet that's a goal

Xenomorph: waaaaiit it's my favourite time of the year!!

BandaidArms: wtbkssb what Valentine’s???

Xenomorph: no wtf

Xenomorph: pancake day! duh

BandaidArms: ur right, I've been a fool

DeezWatts: who even knows how to make pancakes??

Bakuslay: satou, me, mic.

Bakuslay: Aizawa but he's too tired to let anything not burn

Pure: aLL MIGHT!!


Xenomorph: this is me, having the sneaking suspicion that midoriya is slowly just becoming all might’s son

Vulpix: See? I'm not the only one, izu

Pure: kthskaab he made me pancakes when I was in recovery from my bone hurting juice banquet

Murkrow: what a mad banquet of bone hurting

DeezWatts: rkshakam

Chloroform is no longer idle

Chloroform: why is all might crying

Chloroform: oh

Chloroform: wait nvm I gotcha

Chloroform is now idle

Pure: akrhskshak

DeezWatts: heS onLINe ifbskdhjss

Stronft: You're all so lovely!

Stronft: I'm very proud of you all!!!!!!

Stronft: you are the most amazing tiny chicks and I love you all!

Whomst: I still don't get the chicks metaphor but I love you anyway!

Xenomorph: (we're chicks and ua hatches us into birds)

Whomst: (but why chickens)

Momo: (I'm not explaining to you that there is more than one type of bird that calls a baby bird a chick)

Whomst: (but Ch icks)

Stronft: it doesn't matter anyway what matters is that you are all fully capable of becoming amazing heroes! And I will support you in doing so!! Plus Ultra!!

Cutieshima: Inc ruggjn I lovemhim

Bakuslay: this is the worst

BandaidArms: you're just saying that because kiri is lying on you and crying

Bakuslay: fuck off your bullshit

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: all might has big yaoi hands

Banoodle: hug a c a t with those hands

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: best quality, his wiggles

Stronft: you've ruined this for me and now I'm legally, emotionally, and mentally obliged to murder you on the spot

Shamwow: that's fair

Banoodle: that's not very heroic Mr Clean

Stronft: I'm going to Yeet you into the atmosphere

Banoodle: ah,

Shamwow: if you can even touch me


Stronft: I hate this

Banoodle: lol no u don't we got u a card

Stronft: it was a very nice card I have it on my desk

Shamwow: A nice card, is here. A nice card, is here.

Stronft: if this was all about the ring tone I'm going to put you both in the Pit

Shamwow: nice

Shamwow is now idle


Banoodle is now idle

Stronft: oh for f

Kewwo: our homeroom teacher is a mess please protect him and his similarly messy husband

Stronft: ah, a mood.

Stronft: we all protect eachother!

Stronft is now idle

Pure: I hate how good he is

Vulpix: how quickly do you think he could crush my father's head between his hands

Venonat: what

Vulpix: what?

Run™: What??

Pure: shouto no

Vulpix: what?!

Vulpix: asking for a friend!

DeezWatts: ffhdksbsks mood

DeezWatts: beat up Endeavour 4ever pls

BandaidArms: better hashtag: get mina a s/o this valentine's

Cutieshima: owo

Bakuslay: what's this?


BandaidArms: oh you fool, no one has had confidence in me since the sports festival >:3c

DeezWatts: (I do)

BandaidArms: (I know this and I love you)



Xenomorph: pLS

Xenomorph: PUT IT BACK,,

BandaidArms: MINA HAS A BIG C R U S H

Xenomorph: O U T L E A V E !


Direct message - Whomst to Xenomorph

Whomst: yaoi hands?

Xenomorph: Yaoi hands,,,

Whomst: understandable, I'll back u up hun

Xenomorph: a true ally,,

Xenomorph: I love her,,, so much,,,,,

Whomst: haha gay

Xenomorph: ur in a poly relationship

Whomst: I love them both and I'm sure u will love ur girl too

Xenomorph: she's rlly good

Whomst: oh I know

Xenomorph: :’) this is karma

Whomst: it sure is, Karen :)

Xenomorph: fksgjs get outta here Stephanie


Direct message closed.


Whomst: that's fair

Chapter Text

Cutieshima: I'm

Xenomorph: well that fuckin happend

BandaidArms: why does every Bakusquad venture turn into this,,

Bakuslay: I hate this fucking family

Space: what happened??

Cutieshima: bakusquad valentine's date because we all love each other very much and also because it's like a double date with fifth wheel mina (she was too chicken to ask out her crush)

Xenomorph: :’’’)

Xenomorph: I can't do I t

Cutieshima: shut, I'll help u later with writing her something

Xenomorph: kirishima is the one true ally

Whomst: uhhh

Xenomorph: kirishima is ½ of my true allies

Whomst: good

Cutieshima: basically we wanted to go to a restaurant or something but I'm pretty sure kaminari is banned

DeezWatts: they put too much pepper on my food when I was younger and one time I sneezed and blew out the whole block’s power

Pure: h

Pure: how do you even manage that

DeezWatts: young denki control machine broke

Vulpix: understandable have a nice day

Cutieshima: we convinced bakugou that we should go to the nearest cat café because

Cutieshima: cats, y'know?

Venonat: I understand completely.

Xenomorph: we walked in and fuvkgin, we thought we were chill

BandaidArms: I was drowning in cats I was in pure bliss idk about the rest of u

Venonat: fuck I wish that were me

Infernape: you literally

Infernape: Aizawa literally has two cats and you are able to enter that building and hug them

Venonat: but I'm so comfortable

Venonat: I'm in bliss rn I'm surrounded by things that I love

Infernape: you are being spooned by tooru and I'm hugging you both?

Venonat: exactly


Infernape: a h , ,, , ,

Whomst: mashirao machine broke

Venonat: understandable

Venonat: continue with the story of which I already know the answer

DeezWatts: shhhh

Cutieshima: I almost died like 15 minutes into the session because my eyes just locked onto , oh joy, one whole blonde haired excitable tall dad and one whole tired raven haired soft dad

Bakuslay: he choked on his food.

Cutieshima: br  o,,

BandaidArms: that was in violation of the bro code

Bakuslay: it was in accordance with the bakugou boyfriend code.

DeezWatts: that's fair.

Xenomorph: (it's okay kiri is I still love u)

Cutieshima: (thanks bro)

Cutieshima: needless to say my coughing fit and the l a rge amount of slapping that my back then received from not one, but four other people, drew the attention of our dearest fucktin teachers

Bakuslay: mic choked on his drink.

BandaidArms: like father like son

BandaidArms: Aizawa looked at him dead in the eyes, whispered “perish” and went back to stroking the two (2) whole cats on his lap

Vulpix: me after Yamada sings it's raining men in the shower for the fifth time

Venonat: to be fair he was risking it

Vulpix: I know right? You've thought that Aizawa picking the lock and pouring cold water in would've shut him up on the fourth run but apparently the man holds no mortal fear

Venonat: of course he doesn't he has to wake up Aizawa every morning

Xenomorph: he did end up helping mic out after like a minute and then he did this weird head tilt and then yamada did that weird 'don't say anything’ where u chop your own neck??

Bakuslay: the other idiots didn't see it but they basically just signed for the rest of the date

Bakuslay: honestly it looked like they'd been signing the whole time aside from the 'perish’ thing

Xenomorph: bakugou won't tell us what they were saying :(

Bakuslay: because it's private shit head it's like eavesdropping but with your eyes

Xenomorph: but they were so clearly shit talking,,

Bakuslay: maybe so

Bakuslay: still doesn't give me any right to tell you shit

Xenomorph: why are your morals so good but everything else is debatable

Bakuslay: childhood machine fucked

Vulpix: rt

Venonat: rt

Xenomorph: I love u all and I would adopt u were I able to and had Aizawa not already done it for me

Vulpix: that's fair

Cutieshima: anyone else go on any sick nasty dates?

Space: tsu and I went to a café and the park!!

Space: it was really nice and super sweet we went shopping together for a bit afterwards because there's this nice little shop that opened in the mall :)

Kewwo: I had a lot of fun, (´^ω^`)

Kewwo: <3

Space: <3!!!

Vulpix: izu and tenya took me to the movies because I haven't really been before

Vulpix: and then we met up with the girls to go to the park and got pulled into shopping

Space: yeah!! It was really cool!

Space: I'm proud of tenya he got us izucrew shirts

Run™: I'm supporting my boyfriend he deserves the world

Pure: tkshkssgvsak

Vulpix: a gay mood tenya

Kewwo: I'm dip dyeing them :3c

Xenomorph: jfsksb Bakusquad has denim jackets (I still don't know where those are from??)

Bakuslay: best jeanist.

BandaidArms: what

Bakuslay: you heard me.

BandaidArms: i

Xenomorph: and the izucrew has t-shirts.

Venonat: remind me what your jackets say?

Xenomorph: bakugou's says 'im with stupid’ and then a shit ton of arrows and we all have “we’re stupid” in rainbow font and flames printed on the backs

Pure: i

Space: ours just has 'deku defense squad’ on the front i

Vulpix: the duality of groups

BandaidArms: idk how best jeanist even vaguely thought our jackets were good enough to give to us

Bakuslay: I told him it was for my gay as shit friend group and that if he had a problem with that I'd come for his life but he was ready and willing as soon as I said the phrase 'my gay as shit friends’

Xenomorph: aw he called us friends

DeezWatts: I'm feeling blessed in this chilis


Bakuslay: fuck no you’d try and order the spiciest thing on the menu and then you'd be crying on the way home

Cutieshima: it's probably not that spicy >:((

Bakuslay: you may be manly but you have such a low spice tolerance you'd cry trying to drink milk

DeezWatts: FUCKGIN

Xenomorph: I can't believe bakugou just roasted his boyfriend???

Cutieshima: im

Cutieshima: upset but very gay rn BC he's smirking,,,

Cutieshima: he is like the most angelic little demon I love him,,

Cutieshima: babe ily

Cutieshima: now he's blushing look at him go,,

Cutieshima: look at him,,, displaying emotion

Cutieshima: I'm so proud of him?

Bakuslay is now idle

Pure: I can't believe you broke kacchan

Xenomorph: I can

Cutieshima: he's easy to fluster it's adorable

Swiggity swooty, I'm on thirst duty -M channel


Chloroform: I can't believe the kids walked in on you being cute

Banoodle: I'm pretty sure only bakugou knew we were being cute

Shamwow: I can't feel any of my dignity

TCrews: you still had that?

Shamwow: ah, shit you're right

Shamwow: maijima if I come to the support department and lie down on one of your work benches will you use it to kill me?

TCrews: no because a) yamada would murder me b) kayama would murder me c) iida (big boy) would murder me d) hatsume has claimed the room as hers and is on a creation spree

TCrews: and last of all, because I'm not even in the support room. I am in the staff room, chugging as much coffee as humanly possible and more because I crave the sweet release of death

Shamwow: oof mood want to know where the caffeinated coffee is?

TCrews: god yes please

Shamwow: hiding space #7

TCrews: I'm so glad I memorised where you hid during lunch

Banoodle: fufjsbks number sEven really??? I thought it was at number eleven???

Shamwow: no that's the fuckin

Shamwow: shhh

Chloroform: wait the thing thing or the normal one??

Shamwow: SHHHH

Banoodle: oh thAT thing!

Shamwow: SHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Fangboi: well I'm rightfully terrified

Shamwow: good.

Fangboi: I mean, five whole exclamation points? Clearly Eraser has become Mic

Shamwow: he's my husband and I'm bound to pick up on his fucking mannerisms, shit head

Fangboi: you don't see me barking at sea gulls

RuhRoh: it was once and they stole my food

RuhRoh: I have done nothing wrong in my entire life

Shamwow: well

Fangboi: shut up eraser your boyfriend ran through the halls screaming because he thought he saw a bug that turned out to be a marker stain he left there himself

Shamwow: husband

Fangboi: what about it

Shamwow: that's my husband and at least he's never tried to eat someone's shoe


Fangboi: ryou no, we're arguing

Banoodle: our boyfriends are being stupid

RuhRoh: yes they are ://

TCrews: this is the longest sip of coffee I've ever had and I can feel it poisoning my veins but it's worth it

Cryptid: are you having problems with young hatsume?

TCrews: no she's an absolute genius

TCrews: she's an incredible student, but her enthusiasm never ends and I think I'll die from exhaustion even looking at her

Cryptid: please share the keys to the support department with another teacher so that you don't have to worry about her all the time!! I know you would prefer to over see her activities but at this present moment you also need the rest

Shamwow: he's saying you should tell her to piss off and socialise

TCrews: how do you say that to a young teenage girl who is ready and willing to fuck you up

Shamwow: threaten expulsion.

TCrews: are you batshit?

Shamwow: are you on break right now?

TCrews: yeah?

Shamwow: is hatsume in the support room?

TCrews: y ep

McFUCK: he just took a hefty swig of coffee

TCrews: you don't know me

Boo: let him live babe

McFUCK: I'm concern

McFUCK: stop

McFUCK: okay I get it please breathe you're worrying me

Boo: some context: maijima just managed to chug what I assume is a flask of coffee without breaking eye contact with snipe and I don't think he breathed once

Shamwow: that's just how we do

Shamwow: anyway, is the support room suppose to be open right now?

TCrews: it was supposed to have closed like five minutes ago

TCrews: it stays open for a while for any activities but we're running low on staff today so we don't have any overseers

Shamwow: come with me to the support room I'll do it for you

TCrews: this sounds like a terrible idea

Shamwow: it's not don't worry

Shamwow: I do this all the time

Shamwow: if she really loves what she's doing she’ll take this threat seriously

Shamwow: getting expelled from UA would put a damper on what she is able to create so she'll prefer to lower the amount of time spent in the support room over being thrown out entirely

TCrews: wh

TCrews: ??????

Shamwow: I'm suppose to make students excel in their tasks for a living maijima you think I haven't learned how they work yet?

TCrews: that's fair.


Tell Mina What They Said 2KPlz channel


Xenomorph: pls bakubro I love u

Xenomorph: I'll do anything

Bakuslay: anything?

Xenomorph: yes! Anything!!!

Bakuslay: well…

Xenomorph: OOF


Pure: Kacchan!! Is that a meme?

Bakuslay: no this is a


Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: UA high what is your emergency?

Bakuslay: uh

Banoodle is now idle

Xenomorph: you know I really should be less surprised than I am

DeezWatts: my entire body has gone into shock

BandaidArms: haha

BandaidArms: shock

DeezWatts: I love you but I want a divorce

BandaidArms: that's valid.

Space: honestly I was expecting all might to come respond to the meme?

Space: I'm not sure why seeing as we all know what mic is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pure: oh he probably would?

Pure: it's just he's not that good at using his phone,,

Pure: big fingers = ah? Touch screen???

Pure: I’m going to get him a stylus to help :)

Vulpix: honestly if I watch izu teach all might how phones work one more time I might not have teeth left

Venonat: I'm terrified about the purity level of this absolutely tooth rotting fluff

Run™: incredibly high, levels that my brother now sobs into his dog’s fur over

Rowlet: !!!!!!!!!

Rowlet: ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ !!?

Run™: Yes!! He is a golden retriever, his name is Tails and I hate my brother! Intensely!!

Cutieshima: I'm sobbing did your brother name his dog after the fox from sonic

Run™: I n t e n s e l y !

Venonat: okay but??

Venonat: “

No: why did you name your fucking dog after a sonic character I hate you?

YEAH!!: let him do his thing shou

Guncle: his name is Tails because u all called me sonic and he's my best dog darn friend

YEAH!!: Nevermind I'm immediately offended wtf tensei that's my place

No: this is revenge for not calling the cat Blaze isn't it

Guncle: :)

Todorokid: well this is the worst

Good™: So

Guncle: oh no

Good™: how am I younger than you again?



Good™: I honestly feel like I should be stopping this but at this point there isn't any point

Guncle: his name is Tails and I'm going to love and support him and his fastly wagging tail

Xenomorph: surprisingly wholesome cursed family chat confirmed

Vulpix: it's a terrifying place

Pure: aw ur names are todorokid and good™ that's cute

Vulpix: this has made everything marginally more acceptable

Space: the power of gay

Chapter Text

Shamwow: I can't believe hatsume mei hasn't slept in seventy hours and somehow isn't even vaguely related to me

Shamwow: zashi did we leave an adopted kid behind somewhere???

TCrews: that's my whole entire student I don't think she's been adopted by you

TCrews: she also called your expulsion bluff

Banoodle: (it's because everyone knows he's a big softy)

Shamwow: class 1-A ruined my expulsion reputation

Shamwow: I love them but this is ridiculous

TCrews: hey at least she accepted she's been in the support room too long

Shamwow: a hollow victory when twenty students, including two of your actual adopted children, somehow make off with every ounce of dignity and self control I had left

Oh?Vacuum?: fucking noumu.

Shamwow: fucking noumu.

Boo: is that

Boo: is that a thing you do?

McFUCK: oh darlin

McFUCK: sweetheart you aint seen them drunk in the same room

Boo: well

Boo: I'm Terrified.

Oh?Vacuum?: when all else fails

Shamwow: blame noumu.

Oh?Vacuum?: noumu didn't even hurt me but I'm being a supportive friend

Shamwow: noumu snapped me like a twig and I'm grateful for the support

Banoodle: wow babe out here lookin like a snapp

Stronft: yAm aDA

Stronft: you cannot just say that to someone who has gone through intense trauma

Banoodle: kfahkasbka n o i understand that im fishjss

Shamwow: I love you a lot? But that was terrible

Shamwow: that was probably the worst one in fifteen years

Banoodle: aww babe then why did you laugh so much?

Shamwow: I hate you

Banoodle: mmmmhm?

Shamwow: I hate how much I love you?

Banoodle: aww

Banoodle: well then I'm resentful ;)

Stronft: I am both terrified and relieved?

Fangboi: I have know these people for too long they are warping my sense of reality

Sonic: hsjdvak join the gang, yesterday I saw Aizawa smack Hizashi upside the head in public and hiss and him and everyone got really tense but my stupid ass was like,,

Sonic: that wasnt even a hard slap that was a full on make out by Aizawa pda standards

Shamwow: I didn't even hit him

Banoodle: you whacked my leather jacket :(

Shamwow: correct

Banoodle: that's like hitting me spiritually

Banoodle: I astrally project into that jacket on a daily basis

Banoodle: what if u had stuff on ur hand :(

Sonic: the old lady on the train looked very concerned

Banoodle: Good!! Leather is very annoying to wash!!!

Sonic: Hizashi, you are my best friend (aside from tails my lord and saviour) but honestly, that's not what she was concerned about

Fangboi: I don't even know who reality is anymore

Sonic: hey if I taught physical education do u think I could do laps around the sports field on my wheelchair?

TCrews: do you want stabilisers on it so you can use your quirk??

Sonic: thank u for asking and Y E S

Sonic: y’all I'm gonna naruto run in a wheelchair

Shamwow: I hate this. I hate it. I don't know how I got here, but I know I hate it.

Sonic: I love u too shouta

Chloroform: this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen

Chloroform: when do we start?

TCrews: I mean?

TCrews: if you're not busy I guess you can drop by the support department at ua tomorrow and I can fit them

TCrews: it could give hatsume some practice as well seeing as she's used to just making things I think adaptation on non hero gear might help her out too

Sonic: cool!!!

Sonic: join Iida Tensei, for the newest episode of Pimp My Ride

RuhRoh: is your dog coming??

Sonics: if that's alright?

RuhRoh: Yeah!!!!!! Fine!!!!!! New friend!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shamwow: hey uh Kan any reason I can see your kids naruto running outside and yelling 'HUH!’ every few minutes?

Fangboi: what the fuck

Fangboi: why are they acting like 1-A??

Shamwow: I resent the fact that I feel called out on behalf of my kids

Fangboi: oh

Fangboi: manga is pretending to be naruto again

Shamwow: again.

Fangboi: leave them alone theyre doing their best

I can't believe we have the real kirishima in our class channel


Fangboi: you're doing amazing sweeties

YaoiHands: THANKS DAD!

Dark'ness: ah yes, naruto running in the darkness of night, my aesthetic.


Snatched: I can't believe I was betrayed by my own classmate while trying to take out the competition who have the places we rightly deserve, honestly, I'm going to go to therapy for years after this, I'm going to be traumatised for life over this betrayal, nothing is going to make me feel better ever again

Snivy: hey aoyama brought cheese as a peace offering again!

Snatched: nevermind I revoke everything

Kirishima: b r o

Snatched: don't bro me this is some good fucking Bleu d'Auvergne

Kirishima: bro I don't know what that is

Snatched: i

Snatched: hold me back

Winston: I'm not touching him

Snatched: hold me back or I'm going in

Kirishima: broh no!

Snatched: thATS IT

YaoiHands: I am not the mother of this class

Snivy: sorry mother

Nyeigh: uhhh

Dark’ness: haha you think you're not

YaoiHands: I've been downgraded

Fangboi: kendou please restrain monoma before he succeeds in murdering tetsutetsu

YaoiHands: dad why

Fangboi: sometimes that's just how it be

YaoiHands: I bet Aizawa would never do this to me smh

Fangboi: that is a low blow and he has literal bandages for extended hands

YaoiHands: you're right I've been a fool sorry dad

Fangboi: all is forgiven if you just grab him and get everyone back into the dorm

YaoiHands: can do mr dad sir


Tails VS Airbud -ING channel


Sonic: I'm just saying, tails is totally better than Airbud

Shamwow: I went to tell my kids to be careful when watching Disney movies, and i come back and this is what's happening

Shamwow: you're all debating if Tensei’s dog is better than airbud.

Banoodle: actually first we were talking about them in a fist fight and then we remembered they had no fists so now it's just aesthetic.

Banoodle: what do you think babe?

Shamwow: I literally only know who Airbud is because you forced me to watch the movies and then the puppy follow ups because you were upset about not having a dog

Banoodle: my apartment didn't allow animals and that's a c  rime

Chloroform: a crime is what you're wearing holy shit

Banoodle: I didn't come here to be attacked

Banoodle: also what's wrong with neon green netted tank top and a bright pink tracksuits bottoms

Shamwow: are those mine

Banoodle: shh

Shamwow: they don't even fit you

Banoodle: shhhhh

Shamwow: if you wanted something of mine you could've taken my jacket?

Banoodle: shhhhhhhhhhh

Shamwow: I can't believe you're going to a karaoke bar dressed like that

Chloroform: I can't believe I'm accompanying him

Shamwow: I've got patrols tonight, if you fuck up the bar I'm going to arrest you no questions asked

Chloroform: lfgska rude

Boo: it's fine the owners know me and mic's come a few times!

Shamwow: dressed in clashing Spandex?

Boo: well… no, but honestly how less inconspicuous can one man be than literally wearing a shimmering jacket on top of a hatsune miku shirt

Chloroform: where do you keep getting those shirts anyway??

Banoodle: uhhh secret source

Shamwow: it's best jeanist they formed a hatsume miku fan club

Banoodle: you are dead to me and so is your next of kin

Shamwow: you're my next of kin legally

Banoodle: ah

Sonic: congratulations, you played yourself.

Chloroform: I thought best jeanist had style??

McFUCK: He does, it's just Hizashi who’s dressed like a disaster bi

Shamwow: haha

McFUCK: you're dressed like a disaster gay 24/7 Aizawa

Shamwow: excuse me this is practical

Chloroform: dearest hizashi, please inform the class what your husband wears at home?

Banoodle: aw that's easy, black long sleeve shirt and sweatpants, sometimes a jumper which is usually a neutral colour and if you're lucky he'll wear scarf

Chloroform: and if you're unlucky?

Banoodle: he wears his uniform at home and just leaves the scarf off

Shamwow: I hate this callout post, 0/10

Chloroform: thank you Hizashi you get 10 points

Fangboi: I went to tell my kids to not batter down 1-As door and make too much noise while murdering each other over cheese, and I return to this,,

Shamwow: wait did aoyama try and give your kids cheese

Shamwow: he keeps leaving cryptic messengers in blocks of roquefort I can't take this

Banoodle: I'm proud that you can remember cheeses, but why nothing else in any other language?

Shamwow: food can be fairly relevant to a case

Shamwow: also you kept mumbling recipes  under your breath while you were sleeping after you came home from the three month job in France

Banoodle: this just in, being a polyglot will not affect your husband in any positive way, but it will make him remember the names of cheeses.

Chloroform: somehow I don't think that's a bonus

Banoodle: shut up nemuri you're hella gay for two whole people

Chloroform: fkhsks and you aren't

Banoodle: fuckign touché

Chloroform: anyways y e ah! We’re working on getting ANOTHER girlfriend, emi and I are very excited ;)

McFUCK: gee kayama, why do you get two girlfriends?

Chloroform: because when I want to date someone i am well equipped with open communication between parties and intensely high confidence in this sort of thing

McFUCK: oof okay,,

Boo: that's a callout and a half

Oh?Vacuum?: I can't believe we're back to teasing my best friend this is great

McFUCK: you're a terrible friend and I love ya dearly.

Oh?Vacuum?: Oh shit emotions,,

Shamwow: big yeet

Banoodle: big yeet

Chapter Text

Bakuslay: what the fuck is that noise?

Vulpix: what noise?

Cutieshima: todobroki idk how u can't hear that???

Vulpix: genuinely,,,? What noise????

Pure: owo what's this?

Run™: I love you but you are cursed

Vulpix: ^

Run™: However, I must agree with todoroki? I do not hear a noise??

Momo is no longer idle

Momo: Whoever is screaming like a rabid raccoon currently, could you please stop?

BoomBoomPow: Babe,,, I love you but????

BoomBoomPow: I can't hear anything?

Bakuslay: listen up fucknauts I'm partially fucking d e a f and even I can hear the cursed shrieking that's happening right now

Xenomorph: bakubro is right????

DeezWatts: where tf r u all that u can't hear the death happening outside???

BandaidArms: I need a break it's been going on for like five minutes already

Venonat: oh

Bakuslay: oh??????

Bakuslay: you are motherfucker??????

Whomst: it's probably mic

Infernape: Ah

Infernape: Yes that would explain it

Run™: Oh

Run™: I tuned that out years ago, continue as you were.

Bakuslay: what the fucking demon shit???

Cutieshima: Why is he making that noise?????

Venonat: idk ask dadzawa

Space: Summon The Father

Momo: I don't think @ing him would be a good idea currently seeing as it is during the time he should be in a meeting?

Xenomorph: wait how do u kno he's in a meeting??

Momo: He left us a calendar with his schedule on it in the common room incase of an emergency. Did you not see it?

Xenomorph: o h

Xenomorph: I thought that was a normal calendar but filled in funny

Momo: I


DeezWatts: roshskabakabdbs fucking mood,,

DeezWatts: but yeah lmao is it the white board one?? I've been drawing Pokémon on the corners of that and I always get a fuvkgin post it note w/ a thumbs up stamp on it the next day

Cutieshima: what a dAD

Cutieshima: I want to be that level of dad

Bakuslay: I will break up with you

DeezWatts: Kirishima, slipping into his guy fieri crocs with socks and opening ur door at 3am while you cry over homework: are ya winning son?

Cutieshima: first, those are katsuki’s crocs and I just use them to go to the gym in the morning and then change

Bakuslay: hjyUCJ

Xenomorph: HOLY FUC K

BandaidArms: I'm sobbing bakugou has been expOSED

Pure: I can't believe Kacchan is fucking dead

Cutieshima: seCOND

Cutieshima: how would we summon him if he's in a meeting??

Kewwo: no it's really easy watch this


Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: we talked about this, there's a scheduling system right next to the game consoles

Shamwow: don't you all have individual systems anyw

Shamwow: wait

Kewwo: dad says it's my turn on the xbox

Space: I love you but you're also cursed

Kewwo: :3c <3

Shamwow: mic is screaming because all might is trying to kill him

Cutieshima: hWHQT

Xenomorph: i knew the day would come


DeezWatts: so you knew he had to do it to em?

Run™: I

BandaidArms: every significant other is loved but cursed.

Pure: w Hy is He tryiNG to kiL L MR yamAda???

Banoodle is no longer idle

Shamwow: ah




Shamwow: one moment I just need to grab my husband before he breaks something again

Cutieshima: I'm fucktin crying

Cutieshima: “While I usually wouldn't mind strong men crushing my bones this is a little too real” - Yamada Hizashi

DeezWatts: the lgbt+ figure we wanted but don’t deserve

Banoodle: hello kids I love my strong, absolutely amazing, buff, swole good shit, saviour of my life, fucking superb husband

Shamwow: I hate my twink husband

Banoodle: FNGDOSAN

Banoodle: fucKING BYE

Stronft is no longer idle

Banoodle: yEET

Stronft: Yamada I am not a violent man

Shamwow: you just tried to rip his arms off

Pure: hhH

Stronft: I am not a violent man but I will forcefully eject your stomach via throat

Pure: a h , ,  , ,,  ,, ,  , ,,,

Shamwow: pop him like your joints?

Stronft: a iZa Wa

Xenomorph: o o f

Pure: you really should stretch more

Xenomorph: o O F

Stronft: i ZU KU

Vulpix: owo

Run™: No wo

Vulpix: HYXJ

Pure: i,,,

Vulpix: we are all, cursed now

Shamwow: Yagi, I am not a violent man, but i am capable of supplexing you should the need arise


Stronft: that's a valid response

Stronft: just!!!!!

Stronft: Absolutely Terrible You Slimey Twig Man!

Shamwow: was

Shamwow: was that at me or Hizashi?????

Banoodle: at this point the only factor that would separate us in that sentence was 'twig’

Shamwow: Hizashi then

Shamwow: he'll be quiet don't worry about it

Stronft: ://

Shamwow: that, is a very valid response to that assurance

Banoodle: HeY!!!

Banoodle: I have kept our marriage a secret for several years!!!!

Shamwow: you and I both know that's a different situation entirely

Banoodle: well

Shamwow: Hizashi I will let you name the next cat we're getting

Banoodle: a h,,,








Banoodle: Silence™: sold! To the attractive tired caterpillar man in the back!

Banoodle: but also I was just trying to warn u???

Stronft: wh

Stronft: warn me about what??

Banoodle: uhm

Banoodle: v,,isit,,,ors??

Shamwow: and let's move this to the Teachers’s Adult Channel For Adult Things Like Talking About 'Visitors’

Stronft is now idle

Banoodle is now idle

Shamwow: alright kids, get back to what you were doing

Momo: Sir how did your meeting go?

Shamwow: pretty good all things considering

Shamwow: I'll update you if anything changes, alright?

Momo: Thank you!

Shamwow is now idle

BoomBoomPow: you alright babe?

Pure: yeah, is everything okay?

Momo: Oh!! I am quite fine :D

Momo: Mr Aizawa was discussing a matter with my parents but I assure you it is nothing too serious :)

Run™: Ah, would that be the snacking issue?

Momo: Yes!!

Pure: ????

Momo: I need to eat a lot more between periods because of my quirk for heroics and when I'm exercising but my parents weren't aware of my additional quirk use and when I went home I essentially was still eating the same amount as when I used my quirk very sparingly.

Momo: Mr Aizawa was worried they would accuse the school of overworking me or any of us because usually having to eat more implies  larger amount of energy use but it seems they were understanding :)

BoomBoomPow: Oh yeah!! Babe I'm gonna start carrying some smaller snacks on me for you for in between lesson if I can?

Momo: There's no need to burden yourself!!! I appreciate it though <33

Momo: Aizawa wanted to make sure I was healthy and remain that way so I should be able to bring my own food for lesson, we're organising what I can eat in classes that will correspond with allergy and hygiene requirements

Xenomorph: h ey u ever become more keenly aware Aizawa is super fuvkgin awesome and we don't deserve him,,,,,

Venonat: yikes mood

Kewwo: my face exists because of him

Xenomorph: i

Xenomorph: that's

Kewwo: I am literally only alive because Mr Aizawa is a badass dad

Space: Aizawa is a blessing and he saved my girlfriend,,,,

Xenomorph: I just

Xenomorph: I didn't fucking realise the gravity of that statement until you said it??

Space: haha gravity

Kewwo: you're cursed too now

Xenomorph: tsu I'm so fuckgn glad ur alive

Kewwo: hey me too what do you know

Space: babe,,,

Kewwo: I know

DeezWatts: speaking of near death experiences I owe my entire ass to snipe

BoomBoomPow: yeah I had no idea what to do in that situation honestly

Momo: It was very stressful :(

Momo: I am very glad you are safe Kaminari!

DeezWatts: tkshka tha nk

DeezWatts: rt if u owe ur entire ass to a pro hero

Pure: rt

Kewwo: rt

Vulpix: rt

Bakuslay: rt

Hot pant hot pant hot pant channel


Todorokid: why is all might panicking so much anyway?

Launt: oh that's because his bf is coming to the school


Launt: I mean

Launt: ah

Launt: im the motherfucker aren't I

No: you are the motherfucker now

Todorokid: im,,

Shinson: I can't believe present mic almost died for this secret and midnight just goes and does him like that

Guncle: was it worth it?

Bauntie: idk I'm still reeling over having 1 (one) hot girlfriend

Launt: kfbsks mood,, I love u u big mess but this is ridiculous

Bauntie: but

Bauntie: neeeemmmmm

No: as much as I love your gay asses we have a stressed all might situation on our hands

Guncle: aw he said he loved us

No: not you Tensei


Guncle: fuvktin rude,,,

Todorokid: boy,,, f riend?

Todorokid: wait why is he coming to the school?

Shinson: more importantly: whomstve the fuck?

Launt: idk maybe

Launt: it's either boy friend or best friend there is no in between

YEAH!!: You can say that again

No: I hate that I'm married to my best friend

YEAH!!: YeLl heAh bEsT FRIeNd

Shinson: w homst!

Bauntie: u know

Bauntie: that nice hot officer man

No: you are incorrigible

Bauntie: he's hot

Guncle: shut up

Bauntie: Tensei

Guncle: shut uuuupp

YEAH!!: he's really hot

No: I have no fuckgin idea what the standard for hot is

No: seeing as I married Hizashi


Shinson: n aomasa,,,

Good™: I

Guncle: o h

Guncle: h ey tenya dw about,,,,, t his

Good™: :/

Good™: Anyway

Guncle: Jhdkabmdbska

Good™: In the words of boo boo the fool: Yell heah.

YEAH!!: LisTen I didn't coME HERE To bE caaLLED OUT

Guncle: this is fine, I have a great dog, great brother, okay friends

YEAH!!: I’m feeling iida betrayal in this chilis

No: we did start it

YEAH!!: shh!!

Good™: Why is officer Naomasa coming to the school? Is it anything for the classes to be concerned about?

No: No not really

No: I can't really tell you anything right now but let's call it a routine check up for our safety procedures that somehow all might wasn't aware occured

YEAH!!: He’s been here like a year cut him some slack

No: no slacks will be cut because I already enrage jeanist and I don't need to do that anymore

YEAH!!: I'm telling

No: I will cut your slacks

YEAH!!: a h

Bauntie: why did that remind me of the time u fuckign met centerpeder

YEAH!!: a      h ,, , , ,, ,

Guncle: yamada voice “ bu g,, ,,,,,,

No: to be fair he was very understanding when you ran into the bathrooms and started crying

YEAH!!: LIsTen

YEAH!!: InsEcts are fucCking CreEPY

Launt: they're just bugs Hizashi


Launt: ,,b, ug,,,s,,,?

YEAH!!: creepy crawly death dealers

No: It's fine he married me to be his bug remover/comfort blanket and I married him as my dog remover/pillow

Guncle: the true symbiotic relationship we all aspire to have

Shinson: Isn't centerpeder like 4 years older than you??

YEAH!!: goT T A GO

Guncle: ,,,,,f,,a,,st,,,,,,?

Good™: Brother..

YEAH!! is now idle

Guncle: that's a yes

Chapter Text

The fights in the courtyard are causing betting pools -P.N channel


TCrews: im just saying that if lunch rush stopped serving liquid food to her right before she's scheduled for an equipment checkup we wouldn't have this problem

Hungy: It's just soup??? I put it????? In a cup??????? With a lid?????????

TCrews: It honestly pops right off

Hungy: well you could maybe make her a thermos flask?

TCrews: I D iD she never us es it

TCrews: she was holding fucking pens with it last I saw

Hungy: yikes!

Hungy: but i just make the food and serve it you have to deal with if she accidentally spilled miso soup onto one of your machines

TCrews: thAtS nOT

TCrews: UHgkdskam

TCrews is now idle

McFUCK aw shit did the miso get into one of his things again

Hungy: Yeah apparently?

Hungy: What does he want me to do about that????

Oh?Vacuum?: ah!! Don't worry lunch rush I'll try and sort it out, alright? d(^_^;)

Hungy: Alright? He could always change the schedule date??

Oh?Vacuum?: The suggestion will be brought up!

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: someboDY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET

Shamwow: wrong chat Hizashi

Banoodle: a,,h,,,,

Chloroform: wh

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm going to try and mediate for power loader and lunch rush now,,

McFUCK: ur doing amazing sweetie

PebbleSkip: ^^

Chloroform: (^w^)b

Oh?Vacuum? is now idle

McFUCK alright now my amazing best friend is off dealing with that shit what shit do you have to deal with?

Shamwow: the fact that if Hizashi sings Rasputin one more time while dancing with the cats I'm going to divorce him and take the kids


Banoodle: r a r  a r a s p u t i n

Chloroform: russia's smollest uwu bean

Shamwow: say bye bye to mic kids we’re moving, we're never seeing midnight ever again either

Sonic: for once, I am the un-shunned one

Shamwow: shocker

Shamwow: suddenly, tensei is my only friend, I do not know

Shamwow: you're my new husband now Tensei

Sonic: nice

McFUCK: Y’all’re ridiculous

McFUCK is now idle

Banoodle: hfhsbka I can't believe I've done this to our marriage

Chloroform: it's when we were in school all over again but reversed

Sonic: I am the shouta whisperer now

Chloroform: oh fuck I have to listen to Hizashi being Incredibly Bisexual for several hours now

Shamwow: if we're going back to highschool no one can call me by my given name, you're all shunned and I know none of you

Banoodle: everyone can still call me by my given name because I'm a slut for friends

Sonic: we know

Chloroform: I can't believe Aizawa killed my several years of friendship with him for the meme

Shamwow: I'm unearthing the hatchet and issuing a fight to the death in the school yard for that one time you knocked me out in the middle of the hall

Sonic: didn't I do that?

Shamwow: no you gave me concussion because your quirk misfired and you elbowed me in the head with a rocket boosted arm and then nemuri’s quirk misfired and she knocked out half the fucking hallway, worse for me because I had concussion

Sonic: a h,,

Chloroform: we are motherfucker.

Banoodle: he married me so all the fights we had have been mostly resolved

Banoodle: mostly because shouta still owes me a cat name

Shamwow: I'm not letting you name the cat after a singer

Banoodle: ppwweeeeaaasee

Shamwow: everyone meet me in the pit I will 1v3 you just for hizashi’s fucking meme

Fangboi: well this looks fun


Take a bet on when the next fight that we'll bet over is gonna happen channel


Xenomorph: HAHAHA PAY UP


Venonat: oh my god our stupid fucking dads,,

Vulpix: hmmm,,,,,,,, bad,,,

Pure: oh boy

Run™: This doesn't look good

Run™: Why the

Run™: My stupid brother,,,

Run™: This is ridiculous

Infernape: I can't believe they've done this

Xenomorph: isn't your brother in a wheelchair iida??

Run™: Y es. He takes his memeing as seriously as he took hero work which is both infuriating and endearing

Vulpix: I'm going to stop them before they hurt themselves

Vulpix: those are words I didn't think I'd have to type but here we are

Vulpix is now idle

Xenomorph: you know I think they're doing it on purpose now because they h ave to know about the betting pools

Xenomorph: or at least nedzu has to know

Cryptid: :^)


Cryptid is now idle

DeezWatts: I am Terrified


UvU who is win?-PM channel


Fangboi: your son is about to be a fight block

Stronft: whose son?

Fangboi: Eraser and Mic

Stronft: ah

Banoodle: oh shit

Sonic: I can't believe Todoroki has done this

Chloroform: he froze my whip smh

Banoodle: we are all freeze now

Shamwow: I want a divorce

Banoodle: that's fair

Sonic: haha tails is gonna fucking knock u over hizashi

Banoodle: HyCUK

Shamwow: do G

Shamwow: I am oUT I E

Banoodle: you are *cutie

Shamwow: I am climbing a tree to get away from the dog you can either join me and claim your reward or you can stay down there and avoid touching me for several hours

Banoodle: hhhhhhhh

Banoodle: what is this a fucktin,,,, bootleg Zelda game????

Shamwow: yes, step the fuck up link

Banoodle: isn't there that ship with link and the fish guy

Shamwow: h,,

Shamwow: it's bootleg don't do this

Chloroform: Legend of Zelda: the shape of water

Sonic: hyUcj

Fangboi: i

Chloroform: your boyfriend is a dog man

Chloroform: wait

Chloroform: wait hold the fucking phone

Sonic: we don't have one of those

Chloroform: shut ur mouth and fucking

Chloroform: centerpeder = bug man,, Hizashi Fear.jpg

Chloroform: hound dog = dog man,, Shouta Fear.jpg

Sonic: Hizashi and Shouta’s fears cause quirks to form pass it on

Shamwow: we've been bamboozled

Banoodle: I'm still debating hugging this dog

Shamwow: Hizashi you can hug the dog or you can hug me I'm not risking a second year flash back

Chloroform: to be fair you weren't allergic to the dog it's just because he had stuff in his fur

Shamwow: that doesn't help me here

Sonic: the true test of a relationship is if he'll hug the dog or his s/o

Fangboi: can't relate

Sonic: your experiences are not universal, Karen

McFUCK: Gee Kan, how come the quirk lord lets you have a dog and a boyfriend in one go?

Fangboi: hemfksbsa he's not my dog you Fool

RuhRoh: BC the quirk lord likes him & I like h ugs and he gives the best

Fangboi: you are not helping this case at all

RuhRoh: :3c

Fangboi: h

Fangboi: cursed

Sonic: wait Hizashi is climbing the tree

Chloroform: listen, Hizashi, when I said 'man fuck fish’ I didn't mean it literally


Hungy: ah

PebbleSkip: I'm not getting you down yamada

Oh?Vacuum? is no longer idle

Oh?Vacuum?: So this is that kids rhyme right?

Chloroform: which one??

Oh?Vacuum?: The tree one

Sonic: wow, kaumi woods has a kids rhyme?


Stronft: I believe it is the one you taunted your brother with

Sonic: I'm a good brother and it wasn't taunting it was naturally good natured poking

Sonic: he gets two boyfriends and I don't even get one my parents have a lot to explain smh

Sonic: also how the fuck does midnight get a second girlfriend

Chloroform: skill and a whole lotta class

Shamwow: emphasis on the ass

Chloroform: hH

Banoodle: calLED OUT

Sonic: fuCKinG rEKT my duDE

Chloroform: shouta and Hizashi sitting in a tree

Shamwow: you've done this publicly before do you think I feel any shame anymore?

Chloroform: K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Banoodle: there is no shame in this good home

Sonic: this good homo

Oh?Vacuum?: this good home owner

Boo: this good homo home owner

McFUCK: tag yourself im the homo home owner

Boo: I know this and I love you

McFUCK: aww

Boo: I would do so much to see you prosper

McFUCK: lrjaa mood bitch I'd do anything for u

Boo: anything?

McFUCK: yell heAh

Boo: then flourish


Oh?Vacuum?: Dad they're being sweet again

Cryptid: You signed up for this job, you face the consequences.

Cryptid: Also you are one of the people who got them together in the first place.

Oh?Vacuum?: You're right, I regret nothing

Chloroform: wait I wasn't done with my bootleg Zelda

Banoodle: it's dead let it go

Chloroform: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes like twenty whole kids in a non-stop barrage

Shamwow: strangely accurate

Stronft: Ah I forgot, congratulations on your relationship Kayama!

Chloroform: kfgska thank u tomoko is a blessing and emi & I love her

Shamwow: I like her she's good

Chloroform: you just talk about cats with her??

Shamwow: I like her she's good

Shamwow: hWHHAIT

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle: dksh shOUTA

Chloroform: I'm sorry did he just accidentally fall off the edge of a fucking building while we were talking about my girlfriend(s)

Sonic: sometimes that's just how it be

Oh?Vacuum?: Is he alright??

McFUCK: he's probably lying there perfectly healthy tbh

Banoodle: I hate that that's a very likely probability

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: its just one of those days

Hungy:  what????

Hungy: I'm sorry but on w hat day is that n ormal for you??

Shamwow: every

Shamwow: I'm what the kids call, tired

Shamwow: and also an underground hero who swings around on buildings in the night

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm going to physically fight you

Shamwow: that's fair

Banoodle: mood

Shamwow: also fair

Healies: Shouta sweetie are you alright?

Shamwow: boneless

Healies: Well you did just go in for a healing session earlier this morning…

Shamwow: wAIT DON'T

Banoodle: he whAT

Shamwow: uhH

Shamwow: surPRisE it's mE tHe,,, kool aid man,,?

Banoodle: oh n o

Shamwow: that's,,, also fair

Healies: Your husband entered my clinic to heal a fractured wrist and several scrapes/cuts of varying sizes, nothing out of the norm!

Banoodle: Sure and I'm straight

Healies: Young man, trust me I am the last person to lie about Aizawa’s state of beings especially to someone who would be able to convince him to fix that

Sonic: ah yes, the great 'bro did you break your fucking rib?!’ incident

Hungy: he did wh

Chloroform: you know sometimes I forget that lunch rush doesn't go into battle that often or like

Chloroform: at all

Hungy: I'm technically a rescue, recovery, and rehabilitation hero

Chloroform: I know this and I support you

Chloroform: Aizawa: *Breaks his entire arm and gets hair fractures along his ribs, spraining his right ankle & pulling a tendon. Multiple scuffs, scrapes and bruises, probably a chunk of hair missing* oh yeah this is a normal Tuesday for me

Chloroform: Lunch Rush: *Crying* damn,,,, you,,,,,,, you work like this???????

TCrews: fucking mood you all are disgustingly self destructive

TCrews: just,,,,

TCrews: take some fucking ARMOUR

McFUCK: alright torbjörn


McFUCK: tag yourself im mccree

Banoodle: I can't believe I'm married to a sombra main

Chloroform: of course Hizashi is a Lucio main the man is a slut for sounds & poor dress choices

Banoodle: sound slut,,

Banoodle: also fuck you lucio is good at least I'm not a w idowmaker main

Chloroform: fiRST OFF


TCrews 's name has been changed to Ťøŕḃĵöŕň

Ťøŕḃĵöŕň: well this is the worst thing anyone has ever done to me

Sonic: that's fair

Ťøŕḃĵöŕň: of course it was you

Sonic: ;3c <3

Shamwow: gay

Healies: youre still lying on the ground aren't you




Shamwow: yeah,,,

Chapter Text



Chloroform: I'm crying who tf were u talking to

Banoodle: s houta

Chloroform: of c ourse

Venonat: this is still the wrong channel

Pure: it is a big mood though

Venonat: I mean you're not wrong

Venonat: if you're anxious and u know it clap your hands

Murkrow: snaps wrist

Pure: you are like a baby, I proceed to shatter both arms & all the bones in my hands from the force of my clap

Venonat: HDKSBn

Run™: No don't

Space: huge mood izuku

Space: ,,,m o o d o r i y a

Pure: Ochako,,,,,,,,,,,,

Kewwo: I don't know her

Space: that's fair

Space: but!! Loud dad! Why!! Why are u sad!

Banoodle: I'm not!! I'm just a very big baby! Who has to talk to some interviewers about some professional totally not related to music topics

Shamwow: You didn't answer my question if it was a video conference or not

Banoodle: y eah because their HQ is in the usa and I've got o ther j obs

Banoodle: I am going to wear the stupidest things

Shamwow: and by that you mean half your pyjama and a cat on your lap

Banoodle: hells yeah

Banoodle: mochi is my good sweet stress ball and I love her

Shamwow: that's fair

Venonat: do you want me to bring back prawn crackers from the shop when I get home

Shamwow: i

Banoodle: I can't believe my son loves me more than my husband, yes please you can use my card for shopping tho

Venonat: a h, have responsibility motherfucker?

Banoodle: lmao you'll be fine I trust u

Banoodle: just don't buy another animal or smthn,,

Banoodle: Shouto can go w/ u and u can pick out some stuff u want

Vulpix: I'm the caveman SpongeBob meme

Shamwow: that's also very fair

Banoodle: top tip kids, if u ever have a video meeting and feel uncomfortable, just fuckin dress up but only from the waist up, sit in a rolling chair so you can slide away instead of standing to get things off screen, wear ur comfortable clothes underneath, it's ur goat damn house and they don't need to know shit

Chloroform: goat damn

Banoodle: itS MY hOuSe aNd yOU dON'T NEED TO KNOW SHIT,,

Chloroform: that's fair

Murkrow: screaming father entering our chat with the Real Strats

Tentacruel: Eraserhead’s fake strats were a red herring, we're getting the good shit now

Shamwow: I can't believe,,,

Order your hEcKInG lunches -LR channel


Hungy: You are all BABIES who do not EAT

Shamwow: I don't know what you could possibly mean

Hungy: I watched!!!! I saw you Aizawa!!!!!

Hungy: I saw you come in yesterday! Mic was talking about how you hadn't eaten!! Disgusting! Breakfast is so heck darn important!!! Then!!! Then you have the hecking audacity to not even have one of your terrible hecking juice nutrient whatever pouches!!

Hungy: then your caterpillar butt naps for an hour during lunch break!!!!! No food!!!!!!!!!! Then you teach heroics all afternoon!!!!!! I asked the children!!!!!!! You didn't eat!!!!!!!!!!!! Terrible!!!  Disgusting!!!!!

Hungy: you have patrols TODAY so you will EAT in my good fruitful mess hall!!!!!!!!!!

Shamwow: this just in lunch rush can't say fuck

Chloroform: let lunch rush say fuck!

Hungy: H E  CK O F F

Hungy: Make Aizawa eat some actual food!!!

Chloroform: also a very good use of my time

Chloroform: come on shou let's force feed you

Shamwow: I'm going to tie you to a tree

Chloroform: kinky, now get over here and order some lunch

Shamwow: I despise you and your mothering

Chloroform: I mothered you through high school I'll do it again bitch boy

Banoodle: I made him eat something when we got home yesterday I promise lunch rush ////


Shamwow: babies don't have to do shit I wish I was a baby


Hungy: You hAVEN'T EATEN ALL DAY!!!!

Shamwow: excuse my entire fuckin bicep what

Hungy: He!!!!!! Him!!!!!!! You are both terrible at inhaling any kind of sustenance!!!!!!!!!!!!

Banoodle: but


Banoodle: aw darn

Shamwow: hah

Banoodle: fine,,,,

Banoodle: at least I'll actually eat something willingly unlike shouta over there >:( grumpy baby

Sonic: that's an accurate description

Chloroform: he is very grumpy

Shamwow: I am right here

Banoodle: I know, I love you

Banoodle: b uT anYway BC I'm not in the hall what u got lunchy boy

Hungy: the normal stuff!!!! You have the menu on your darn phone!!

Banoodle: oOp my bad!!

Banoodle:  can I get uhhhh hhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Banoodle: Boneless Pizza? With aaaaa two litre of coke

Hungy: what kinda pizza got bone in it

Hungy: and two litre machine broke,, we've got one litre though

TCrews: I'm not fixing your fucking machine until you stop serving her miso

Hungy: I'll get hatsume to do it

TCrews: banned

Hungy: no u

Healies: midoriya is the boneless pizza



Sonic is now idle

Chloroform: I MEAN


Shamwow: she's not fucking wrong,,,,,,

Stronft: plEase chiYO

Healies: why are you booing me


Healies: I'm right.

Banoodle is now offline

Shamwow: and there my husband goes, tumbling out of his chair. Look at what you've done chiyo. Now he's the boneless pizza.

Hungy: you are what you eat

Chloroform is now idle

Shamwow: you are very quickly and effectively killing all my friends

Oh?Vacuum? is no longer idle

Oh?Vacuum?: Guys,,,,, what did you D o

PebbleSkip is no longer idle

Hungy: i think we accidentally killed Aizawa’s husband and closest two friends

Oh?Vacuum?: Thats

Oh?Vacuum?: I



PebbleSkip is now idle

Hungy: that's a fair response

Oh?Vacuum?: I can't believe you've done this

Sonic is no longer idle

Chloroform is no longer idle

Banoodle is no longer idle

Sonic: I'm crying why does chiyo even know these memes,,,

Healies: I have to treat children every single day

Healies: I retained this particular joke due to Hado telling Amajiki that Togata was a, “Boneless Quirk Man. Boneless hero just sinks right through the floor”

Shamwow: Mirio Togata is a Bethesda creation and no one can ever tell me otherwise because Todd Howard came to me in a dream and explicitly stated Mirio was his son

Sonic: I keep accidentally spelling Mirio as Mario and I'm only just realising this is further proof he can literally break the fourth wall by sinking through it

Chloroform: mario

Sonic: yeah??

Chloroform: wow Tensei I can't believe you're betraying SEGA like this

Sonic: HYcikd


Chloroform: *SEGA voice* anything?


Chloroform: *SEGA voice* then perish

Shamwow: don't do that

Shamwow: I'm erasing the sega voice, Todd Howard is clearly best friends with founders of sega: Martin Bromley, Irving Bromberg, and Richard Stewart. They all forgive you your Nintendo sins and passed it on Via Bethesda sinking technique to my brain

Sonic: why the fuck do you know Todd Howard so well

Shamwow: :3c

Banoodle: I can't believe Shouta is cheating on me with Todd Howard

Shamwow: sorry Hizashi, it's true love

Banoodle: I understand completely, he is a legend.

Stronft: I don't know what I'm reading but I'm honestly terrified.

Shamwow: you're never on this chat anyway

Stronft: it radiates a dark energy

Shamwow: oh, that's gary

Stronft: h

Stronft: im

Stronft: Gary???

Shamwow: H̨͔̮͉̝͈̯̀ͬ̍e̛ͯ ͇̤͒ͦͮ̓Ǵ̹̼͚̝̬͈́͌ͩṳ͕͈ͤ͗̓͢a̻̩̞̼̿͢ŕ̬͗̅̃͊̉ͮd̲͎͇ͮ̎̒ͮͨ̍͝ͅs̳̪͙̼̯͍ͥ ̡ͭ̉ͫ̎T̘̲͙̖͍͑ͥͩͮ̂h͈͚̳͙͎͋̊̈́ͅĭ̫s̴̹̥̝̥̻̀ͦͥ̓ͦ͋ ̨̲̻̪̤̯̮͂̒͗R̵̪̗̥̖̥͇̆e̶͍̤̥̥̣̠̎̉ͭã̱͓̰͕̦͓ͨ̂̾l̲̯̹̭̑ͪ̾ͬm̸̟̾

Stronft: I

Banoodle: that's my cryptid husband what a legend

Stronft: I Am Terrified.

Banoodle: G̳̫̙̝̲̫͙͕̯̳͆ͣ̉̽̅̓͑̏ͨͨ̓̏ͥ̍̂̔̊͜͢, ͒͛̊̓̆̒͛̏ͫͮ͗͏̵̧҉̯̘̙̞̮̪͍ O̷͔̰̯̗͍̻͙͉̹̮̳̲̱͔̜̭̰̞̟ͥͪ̆̒̂ͥͦ̽͢ ̷̢͋ͦ͛̽͋͢҉̹̰̹̣̞͚̙̹̺̯̝͖ͅO,̴̢̫͔̟͙͉̬̓̀ͥ̀̔̂͗̈̽̚ͅ ̴̨̱̱͈̪̻̮̠̱̫̞ͪ̾̂ͨ͗ͧ͆̐̀͜ͅ D̤͔̖͈̤͍͈͓̖̭̞̫̻̬̊̂̎ͪ̐ͬ͆ͭ̋̈͟ͅ, ̦

Stronft: I'm beginning to think Aizawa isn't the only cryptid husband in your relationship

Sonic: honestly I gave up long ago, just stay out of the void shit and you'll be safe

Banoodle: :)

Shamwow: :3

Stronft: Ah, this is motherfucker?


Banoodle: kbskda anything is fine!!

Shamwow: I don't wanna eat much if I have to eat

Hungy: hhhhmm

Hungy: I'm gonna make you some onigiri then! Mic can have some Donburi to share with you because we all know he either can't eat anything or will eat everything there is no in between

Shamwow: alright that's fair

Banoodle: I'm a b a b y get off my back :(

Hungy: Good!! Come to the mess hall so I can feed you disasters

Oh?Vacuum?: Lunch rush is the true parental unit in this family

Hungy: (^~^)b


I can't fucking believe All Might’s Alive channel


KrustyKrab: why do we never have any good fucking food

Lit: because Fuck You

KrustyKrab: fuck you

Lit: No fuck You

KrustyKrab: i'm going to take off your fucking elbows

KrustyKrab: see if you can live up to your name then dab man

Lit: Well you have no problem looking like some dry ass puff pastry

KrustyKrab: don't bring this back to good food we don’t fucking have you scientific monster

Lit: frankenstein’s monster was doing his fucking best and at least he actually completed his goals in the end

KrustyKrab: i'm going to turn you into dust

Lit: I think you have enough crust on your neck to last you a life time, no need for me to contribute

KrustyKrab is now idle

Lit is now idle

SuccNSwitch: Ooo!!!! Murder!!!

Dr.Vape: I am

Dr.Vape: So tired

Chapter Text

Direct Message - Dr.Vape to KrustyKrab


KrustyKrab: man fuck him


Dr.Vape: tomura

KrustyKrab: I can't not tap that


KrustyKrab is now idle



League of Kinda Bad People with Debatable Morals channel


Dr.Vape: I came out to kill all might and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

KrustyKrab: I'm gonna do it

Dr.Vape: DON'T DO IT

KrustyKrab: I'm doing it


KrustyKrab is now idle

SuccNSwitch: oooooooo what's happening???

Dr.Vape: I'm going to send him in a loop of walking through warp gates this is the worst babysitter job I've ever taken

SuccNSwitch: awwww :((( I'm trying!!!

Dr.Vape: Please Don't

SuccNSwitch: But I need the worst child award dad!

Dr.Vape: I can't believe

Lit: wait what's he doing

Dr.Vape: h

Dr.Vape: I couldn't possibly know,,,

KrustyKrab is no longer idle

KrustyKrab: where the fuck are you

Lit: none of your business kursty krab

Lit: krusty

SuccNSwitch: kursty

KrustyKrab has changed their name to KurstyKrab

Lit: I hate you

Dr.Vape: you're killing me, you're killing your baby-sitter

PrepareForTrouble: I can't believe we've killed the vape dad

AndMakeItDouble: but did we though

PrepareForTrouble: You're right,, for once we're innocent


Direct message - SuccNSwitch to Lit


SuccNSwitch: Hey What the Fuck

Lit: which what the fuck?

SuccNSwitch: what the fuck!!!!

Lit: I don't know which the fuck you're what-ing

SuccNSwitch: hmm

SuccNSwitch: suspicious but alrighty~

Direct message closed.

Lit: What the fuck???


Direct message - SuccNSwitch to KurstyKrab

SuccNSwitch: hey crusty man

SuccNSwitch: dustman

SuccNSwitch: desert boy

SuccNSwitch: parchment skin

SuccNSwitch: crumbly elbows

SuccNSwitch: ur so crusty u suck the moisture out of whoever u touch and that's how ur quirk works


KurstyKrab: what the fuck do you want

SuccNSwitch: why are u being suspicious!!!


KurstyKrab: what???

SuccNSwitch: ur being suspicious!! Y u lookin for dabi!!

KurstyKrab: I'm going to disintegrate his elbows

SuccNSwitch: :/

KurstyKrab: I'm just going to tap him

SuccNSwitch: :0

SuccNSwitch: WAIT

KurstyKrab: bye bitch




SuccNSwitch: CRUSTY!!!!!!!!

Direct message closed

SuccNSwitch: MAN FUCK U!!!!!

All Your Mans Are Belong To Me -ING channel


Banoodle: when ur trying to date ur best friend but he's taking ur gay compliments in a platonic way instead

Banoodle: no homie

Shamwow: I hate you

Shamwow: I hate that those words came out of your physical mouth 15 years ago and I mentally decided that “i'm going to spend my entire life with this absolute fool

Chloroform: that's gay Shouta

Banoodle: yell heah it is

McFUCK: Yell Heah is just Yeehaw for cowards

Banoodle: h

Shamwow: I can't believe snipe yeehaws @ Boo on a daily basis

Boo: I am

Boo: what,,

Shamwow: ah,, you are the confused husband in this relationship

Boo: we’Re nOt marRied

Shamwow: treasure ur time

Banoodle: HYCJ

Banoodle: my husband regrets marrying me txt it,,

Shamwow: I would never regret marrying you you fucking banana haired bitch

Chloroform: see that sentence makes it hard to believe

Banoodle: We both know my husband is bad with the words

Sonic: bad with the words are mood man

Chloroform: you two are also bad with the words

Shamwow: we are all, bad with the words

Sonic: this is a bad with words household

Banoodle: the only good word members of this household are Tails and Tenya

Sonic: Iida represent

Sonic: Tenya is only good at words because our family is Good At Encouraging Us To Talk About Our Problems And Concerns

Shamwow: clearly you got none of that talent

Boo: oofd

McFUCK: my boyfriend just oofd iida tensei

Sonic: name of ur sex tape #69 eyy

McFUCK: b99 reference me in my own house one more time and I will shove horn down your throat

Sonic: cool cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt

McFUCK: excuse me love of my life I have a Fast Blue Boy to Destroy

Sonic: name of ur sex tape #67 eyy

McFUCK is now idle

Boo: bye Tensei have a nice time

Sonic: wait that's not how numbers work


Sonic: snI

Sonic is now idle

Chloroform: Iida Tensei found dead in miami

Banoodle: tragic

Shamwow: we were all expecting it

Chloroform: he just kept pushing his luck

Banoodle: I can't believe he's gone

Shamwow: fucking rekt

Sonic is no longer idle

Sonic: I lived bitch

Shamwow: wow me too

Shamwow: same hat?

Sonic: same hat!

Chloroform: I hate you both because both of you have used the 'i lived bitch’ in hospital, with genuinely life threatening injuries

Banoodle: worm,,

Banoodle: wait the kids are fuckin

Banoodle: shouta why are ur kids as bad at English as u

Banoodle: except for aoyama he's the tiny polyglot blessing I never asked for

Banoodle is now idle

Sonic: are they bugging him for notes again?

Chloroform: I wouldn't be surprised

Shamwow: no they're singing vocaloid songs but they're getting the lyrics wrong so mic is going to correct them

Sonic: oh wow you married a mood

Chloroform: a disaster bi mood

Shamwow: I love him

Boo: he's doing the nobel thing, teaching the youth the ancient traditions of being a Real Hero

Shamwow: you're not a real hero unless you've memorised Hatsune Miku 'World Is Mine’ to taunt villains with

Sonic: djOBdka

Sonic: that song is about something else my dude

Shamwow: I'm Aware



Sonic: @ Banoodle collect ur maN IM CRYING

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: Whats up swuts my nyame's pwesent mic and when I was gay I thought I was in the thiwd gwade

Boo: hey do you take constructive criticism

Banoodle: yell heah ^w^

Boo: don't ever fucking do that again

Banoodle: That's nyot vewy constwuctive of you ono

Boo: h

Shamwow: it's okay I hate him too

Chloroform: you literally just said you loved him

Banoodle: Awwww showota you'we so cute I wuv uwu sooooo much tuwu

Shamwow: h

Shamwow: I wish I could divorce emotions as easily as I can expel students

McFUCK: big tooting worm

PebbleSkip: tooting worm,,

Chloroform: m’cowboy are u alright there?

McFUCK: they always say yeehaw,,, but never ask haw yee

Shamwow: is this American?????

Stronft: Yes.

Boo: snipe p lease

Chloroform: I'm crying even your boyfriend calls u snipe what the fuc k

McFUCK: u want,,, my name it's fuckin

McFUCK: snipe that's it that's my name

McFUCK: I legally changed my name to Snipe McYeehaw in the second grade in The Real Life Physical United States Of America

Chloroform: This just in, mystery & fearsome Cowboy Hero has No Name

McFUCK: it stirs fear in the hearts of villains

Oh?Vacuum?: Snipe no,,

McFUCK: rawr

Oh?Vacuum?: Snipe we're the no-name mystery heroes together but,,, never 'rawr’ about villains ever again pls I'm going to cry

Oh?Vacuum?: Ectoplasm pls tell me he's not dragging you to a rodeo later,,

Boo: probably

Oh?Vacuum?: Fksg

McFUCK: Yeehaw you cow riding villain fuckers, I'm ready to die in tonight's rodeo with a good ol swig of vinegar

Oh?Vacuum?: SNIPE NO

Boo: baBE

Shamwow: ah,, worm?

Banoodle: shouta I love you but n o

PebbleSkip: this chat gives off a cursed energy and I hate it

Shamwow: Gary,,

Stronft: Gary scares me

PebbleSkip: Who the Fuck is Gary?

Shamwow: Gary is one (1) of mothman’s boyfriends

Stronft: h

PebbleSkip: this doesn't help me at all

Stronft: dare I ask who the other boyfriend is?

Banoodle: oh u know

Banoodle: the [B]one God

Stronft: Ah,,

Stronft: America explain?

Banoodle: [B]one man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land,,

Shamwow: he's the reason you don't get [B]oneful [B]izza

Stronft: I Cannot Eat

Stronft: Gary and his two (2) boyfriends Terrify me and make this an anti-kool aid man mood

PebbleSkip: a what

Sonic: oh no

Chloroform: o h n o

Banoodle: O h N o !

Stronft: Oh Yeah!!

Shamwow: I hate you, all four of you, absolutely terrible

Banoodle: hyCk hEs AngERy

Shamwow: I'm not mad, just disappointed

Banoodle: :’0

Banoodle: oh no,,,

Chloroform: oh no :(

Sonic: oh no :’’’(

Stronft: gently, but with a lot of feeling

Stronft: oh yeah

Shamwow is now idle

McFUCK: lmao y'all better fuckin run he just took of sprintin

Stronft: for the record:

Stronft: it was completely worth losing what remains of my organs

Chapter Text

Chloroform: this just in: I fucking hate Yamada Hizashi, also known as 'Present Mic’ the voice hero

Shamwow: completely fair

Banoodle: I can't believe,,,,

Shamwow: you did the thing I told you not to do didn't you

Banoodle: onLY A BIT!!!

PebbleSkip: he shouted 'MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE’ in English while he walked into class to teach after Kayama’s lesson

Shamwow: he got decked didn't he

Chloroform: only a bit ;)

Banoodle: These Shades Are Not Decoration

Banoodle: they Help Me See, hide my photophobic eyes from that Nasty Light and also Cover My Black Eye

Shamwow: she warned you about making musical references in her classroom

Banoodle: it was my classroom then!! All your classroom are belong to me now

Shamwow: classroom is mine

Banoodle: i

Chloroform: he's using your love of Hatsune Miku against you

Banoodle: it's a valid tactic I've been completely immobilised

Chloroform: You Useless Bisexual

Banoodle: I'm valid fuck u

Banoodle: u know who ELSE is useless

Banoodle: t ensei

Sonic is no longer idle

Sonic: listen here you fother mucker I am completely useful

Banoodle: fother mucker

Sonic: it's necessary censorship

Banoodle: is it really though

Sonic: fuck you I'm valid

Sonic: I'm so fuckin valid I'm gonna do THIS

Sonic has added SlipNSlide to the chat!

SlipNSlide: h

Chloroform: well

Banoodle: v,,, valid?

Shamwow: who's this douchebag

SlipNSlide: Don't Do That

Shamwow: completely fair

Shamwow: they're valid now, you're welcome Tensei

SlipNSlide: I am,,, confused

Banoodle: yeah pretty much

Banoodle: but genuinely Whomst The Fuck did you bring into this Cursed Holy House

Sonic: that's my BOYFRIEND fuck YoU Hizashi I'm valID

Banoodle: h ehwAT

SlipNSlide: Tensei please I'm,,,

Banoodle: shshsoUt A bABE HE GOT A BOYFRIEND

Chloroform: oh my god my precious boy im proud of you

Tensei: thanks, mom


Direct Message - Chloroform to SlipNSlide

Chloroform: If You Hurt Him I'm Going To Murder You :)

Direct message closed

SlipNSlide: h,,,


Direct Message - SlipNSlide to Sonic

SlipNSlide: tensei what did you just bring me into I've received a death threat

Sonic: you'll get two more wait for it

SlipNSlide: whAt


Direct Message - Shamwow to SlipNSlide

Shamwow: so I'm pretty sure you're that vigilante kid I had to deal with a few years back

Shamwow: if you in any way cause tensei any harm or discomfort you're going straight to the void

SlipNSlide: the what,,

Shamwow: :)

Direct Message closed

SlipNSlide: u kno dating Tensei wasn't a mistake but letting him add me that chat totally was

Shamwow: you fucking bet



Dir̡ęct m͞e͜ssage - B̻̯̥̕a̛̖̲̩n͏̴̪̬̹͉͙̖̭͡ͅo̴͙̙̲o͏͙̤̩̜͇̠̦̙d̸͏͉̲͚̘͞l͎̦̫̱͍̬̕ȩ̵̪̫̼͍͔̺ t̨o SlipNSlide




SlipNSlide: oh,

SlipNSlide: void?

Banoodle: fkshska okay u pass the test ur Gucci

SlipNSlide: thanks?

Banoodle: ur welcome :00


I can't believe sonic got a boyfriend, this is the future liberals want -PM  channel


Shamwow: what's the verdict?

Banoodle: he's gucci my bros

Shamwow: dont do that

Banoodle: but broski

Shamwow: i

Sonic: bro

Shamwow: I hate you all, every single one of you, fuck you, all of you, except thirteen they're a fucking blessing and don't deserve this

Banoodle: completely fair

SlipNSlide: is this a pro hero chat i

SlipNSlide: why am I he re

Sonic: bc ur valid and ily

SlipNSlide: H

Chloroform: hah gay

SlipNSlide: wait so who's,, in here? Please tell me Endeavour isn't,,

Shamwow: hell no

Banoodle: fuck endeavour

Chloroform: that's the mood of the chat

SlipNSlide: Oh Sweet

Banoodle: so I'm present mic

SlipNSlide: H,,

SlipNSlide: AH

Banoodle: and Shamwow is Eraserhead and he said 'oh, crawler?’ out loud when you joined so you're probably the vigilante he met with a bit ago & that Tensei was jogging with (nice to meet u tensei is super gay for u)

Sonic: fight me Hizashi, 1v1 in the pit

SlipNSlide: oh,,, worm I'm super gay for him too

Sonic: HhOshkDHAK

Banoodle: nice my mood dude, Chloroform is midnight and shes rlly protective but she basically just adopted you and now you've got 3 moms

Chloroform: I didn't need my introduction to be a callout post

SlipNSlide: I? Three,,

Banoodle: they're lesbians, harold

SlipNSlide: oh nice

SlipNSlide: how many of you are there

Banoodle: oh,, maths

Banoodle: one moment

Shamwow: you don't need a calculator Hizashi

Shamwow: Hizashi just look at the userlist

Shamwow: Hizashi no

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle is now idle

Sonic:  around 16 including me, 17 with you

Sonic: it's actually the UA teacher chat but I intruded and made it full of memes

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: that's bc u said ud rawr shadow the hedgehog bro

Shamwow: wait wrong phone

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: my phone now

Shamwow: fair but pls babe

Shamwow: babe pls

Shamwow: babe

Shamwow: kitten

Shamwow: darling moonbeam who I love

Shamwow: song of my life and melody of my heart

Shamwow: shouta

Shamwow: shouta

Chloroform: seeing shouta’s screenname say those things is Uncomfortable

Banoodle is now idle

Shamwow is now idle

SlipNSlide: does this happen a lot??

Chloroform: yeah

Chloroform: they're husbands, Harold

SlipNSlide: Oh So

SlipNSlide: UA teaching staff is gay culture?

Chloroform: i mEAN

Sonic: basically but Not Entirely

SlipNSlide: UA is acceptance culture

Sonic: yes better

Chloroform: god now I have to deal with 2 disasters calling their s/o babe

Sonic: you call your girlfriends babe all the time

Chloroform: yeah but I'm not a disaster

Chloroform: just disorganised

Banoodle is no longer idle

Sonic: disorganised is just disaster for cowards

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: this just in: local disaster bisexual is a lot heavier than his lanky ass looks

Sonic: you can still pick him up can't you

Shamwow: :)

Sonic: I love kouichi w/ all my heart but shouta being able to lift Big Might and Therefore like,, a lot of people, makes my kokoro go doki doki super sonic fast

SlipNSlide: that's fair I only just learned this fact & have a vague memory to go off of and I'm already crying

Banoodle: i mARRIED THIS

Banoodle: best choice of my life

Banoodle: aside from eating corn with ice cream that one time

Shamwow: did we talk about me hating my husband

Stronft: everyone is entitled to their own food choices aizawa

Stronft: and we don’t kinkshame in this house

Stronft: at least not out loud

Banoodle: I was drunk and it tasted okay

Shamwow: it didn't

Shamwow: he's lying to you

Shamwow: Presentation Michael is the biggest liar i know in this current moment

Chloroform: one time I watched him deadpan say 'No, I'm straight’ to a news reported while painted in the bisexual colours, wearing a rainbow flag and his usual favourite attire of neon netted shirts, leather jackets, and his husband's bright pink tracksuit bottoms.

Chloroform: Best part about this? Aizawa, standing next to him, wearing the other half of the tracksuit and covering his face with a 'Im with Him’ (Him in blue purple and pink) sign that was Very Clearly made by Presentation Michael himself because it had two linked wedding rings and a ton of rainbows

Banoodle: he believed me

Chloroform: the rest of the world didn't

Banoodle: true but when have they ever

Chloroform: whenever u say 'i love my husband’

Banoodle: but I'm not lying then!!

Sonic: that's gay

Banoodle: you’re gay

Sonic: no u

Chloroform: hey remember that time we all thought we were straight

Banoodle: no,,,


Chloroform: Hizashi oh my god

Sonic: tbfh Hizashi’s parents were very open about how relationships worked

Banoodle: j ust because my parents taught me I was allowed to like multiple genders doesn't mean they turned me gay

Banoodle: besides I'm adopted lmao

Chloroform: you are the Most casual fucker

Banoodle: I love my parents!! My parents are fucking great!! Babe can we call my parents? I haven't called my parents in like three days

Shamwow: sure

Banoodle: fuckin Nice My Dude

Shamwow: him having overly nice parents is balanced by me having terrible parents

Shamwow: I can't believe equivalent exchange is a slimy bitch

Sonic: did you just fullmetal meme at my anime loving ass

Shamwow: bye Tensei have fun with your boyfriend

Sonic: we're watching fullmetal alchemist right the fuck now you coward! You fool! You traitor!

Sonic: come back here and talk alchemy with me!!

Shamwow is now idle


Yo I love our many parental units channel


Run™: Momo! My brother appears to be currently watching the series you and Jirou were watching a few weeks ago? The one with the Tiny Golden Boy

Vulpix: It's midoriya, the tiny golden boy

Pure: hKrhka

Pure: I could never be in an anime,,, let alone be the protagonist that's so much pressure and I am A Baby!!

Vulpix: sure jan

Pure: shoto I would probably shatter All My Bones in the fourth episode who do you think I am,,,

Momo: Oh! Please wish him luck!

Momo: Which reminds me!

Momo has changed their name to FullFleshAlchemist

BoomBoomPow: n I C E

DeezWatts: we all know momo is mentally the Winry of your relationship

FullFleshAlchemist: Of course,

FullFleshAlchemist: So if you come back from training going 'wheee~’ again I'll treat you like you've broken some automail~


BoomBoomPow: I love my girlfriend,,


I can't believe sonic got a boyfriend, this is the future liberals want -PM channel


SlipNSlide: oh shoot!! I have to run my stupid friends got in my house again

SlipNSlide: it was nice meeting you all!!

Sonic: b abe you can't keep letting them in

SlipNSlide: yeah but what else am I gonna do

Sonic: close the door,, pretend you aren't in

SlipNSlide: we both know they would break in

Sonic: fight the break in

Sonic: call all might for the break in

SlipNSlide: fkshska like all might would come in for a friendly break in

Stronft: I wouldn't mind!

SlipNSlide: h

SlipNSlide: wait,,,

Stronft: it is certainly different from what I usually handle! The change of pace would be nice :)

SlipNSlide: I'm crying please don't tell me I saw all might telling eraserhead they don't kink shame in this house

Stronft: i

Stronft: okay?

Sonic: babe I hate to break it to you

Sonic: but all of this #1 hero’s kinkshaming is internal

Stronft: it's just less judgemental!

Chloroform: no you've just got to call them out on their bullshit all might

Stronft: but that could hurt someone?

Chloroform: good

Stronft: fine

Stronft: I'm kinkshaming

Chloroform: H


Sonic: anyway tell ur friends to fuck off

SlipNSlide: it's fine they brought me food

Sonic: nvm they're blessings and are feeding my boyfriend when I am unable, give them my thanks

SlipNSlide: sure

SlipNSlide: love u

Sonic: love u too

Stronft: be safe!

SlipNSlide: I'm going to die before I get over all might kinkshaming

Stronft: ah

Stronft: that's fair

Chapter Text


DeezWatts: you did whAT

Xenomorph: aRE YOU OKAY???

Cutieshima: YELL HEAH I AM

Bakuslay: he broke his arm


Bakuslay: I can see the bone


Xenomorph: hOW ARE YOU TYPING??


Bakuslay: I am panicking in a calm fashion

Bakuslay: fuckgin ew I used the word fashion


DeezWatts: you don't have speech to text hoW ARE YOU TYPING


Bakuslay: I'm going to knock him out

Xenomorph: ddont,,

Pure: pleaSE JUst @ rEcoVery giRl I'm CRYING


Healies is no longer idle

Healies: okay Kyle what the fuck is up

Healies: wrong channel my apologies, what can I do for you?

DeezWatts: h

DeezWatts: Kyle,,,

Xenomorph: okay well first,,, Kirishima’s arm machine broke and second what the fuck

Healies: please bring him to my office immediately and I will treat him, as for Kyle

Healies: the teachers are arguing and I think yamada has fractured his wrist

Healies: iida senior has made several inappropriate jokes at his expense

Healies: and I read young kaminari’s screen name wrong as I do not currently have my glasses

Xenomorph: valid,,, we'll be there in a few minutes!!

Venonat: are they arguing about the cats again


Healies: just a bit

Venonat: my input is the same

Vulpix: we can't have more cats named after vocaloids

Vulpix: Aizawa will have a breakdown

Venonat: so will I, it's a bonding experience

Vulpix: I don't think that's how this works

Venonat: sure it is

Vulpix: it's really not

Venonat: good luck stopping me

Venonat: I have the power of sleep deprivation and anime on my side

Vulpix: no wait


Gucci Fam Gucci Fam Gucci Fam channel


Shinson: I hereby vote on vocaloid names

Todorokid: I don't

No: who is Shinsou Hitoshi? I cannot read, suddenly I do not know


Guncle: y’all are still at 2:2


Guncle: im gonna ask ur other kids

No: don't they don't have to live with this

Guncle: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Hard Man Got Shattered Bro channel


Sonic: Yo kids!

Sonic: First: is Kirishima okay

Sonic: Second: it's not fractured he just pulled it

Sonic: which is worse I'm going to make more jokes

Healies: You're dead to me

Sonic: that's fair.

Sonic: also wouldn't be the first time

Healies: You're not wrong but you shouldn't say it

Sonic: Third: vocaloid names for the cats or no

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: don't do it don't you dare vote I will expel all of you this isn't a logical ruse

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: do it you cowards

Shamwow: I'm going to throw everyone in the void

Banoodle: no I swear I will spare you from the void

SlipNSlide is no longer idle

SlipNSlide: so wait which one of you is the eldritch spouse I keep hearing about??



Banoodle: Both?

Shamwow: both

Banoodle: Both.

Shamwow: Both is good

SlipNSlide: well

SlipNSlide: Don't Like That

SlipNSlide is now idle

Sonic: you scared my boyfriend away

B̴̜͕̬͚̍̎͋ à̗͙͈͉͔̪̬̩͆͝n ̴̛̪̯͎̺̿̃ͮͣa̴̜̅̅ͨ̐̅ͯ̍ m̸̭̘ͪ̿͞ w ̰͉̫̺̱͉̤̺̊ͦͪ͛͒̾o̧̗͉͈͍̯ͭͣ̿̿̾͆ͦ̚w̜͖̝̖̩̻̟ͥ̃͑̕ : G̼̰̣͓͚̀̐̔͐ͤͭ͂͗͞ ̛̮͍̪̩͌̀̏ͣ̎͋̀ ̂͊ͤͩ҉͎͉͖̼̮͉̯͇ ̻̞͋͐̏ ̱̮̼̪̲ͨͥͫ͑͡ ̦͍̠̯̱̱͈ͦ̾ͫ̇ͮ̀ͣͅ O͔̺͈̪̮ͫ̏̐ͥͨͤͩ̚ ͉̺̪͕͋ͨ͌̇͐ͫ̚ ̸̢͎̜͒͛͌̀̅́ͣ̀͟ ̗̤̤͙͎͖̯̠͊͌ͥ̎́̈̄ ̷ͫͤ҉̫͔̣̬̱̮̤̖͡ ̶̢̙͖̬͇ͤͯ̚͞ ͇̜̾ͤͤ̿̎ͪ̓ͯƠ̷̝̹͙̗͖̾̀͋ ̴̜͉͚͔̈͐̈́ͧ̇̀ͤ̊ ̡̣̰̜̝͈̞̜̈́̄̑ͮ̾̀ͬ ̧̨̙͛̿ͅ ͔͊ ̘̥̖̟̲̾̀ͬ̑ͨ͊̀̚D̢͖̹͙̟̽ͪͨ̿ͥͯ̕ ̖




Shamwow: clearly I have no idea what you mean

Banoodle: who is this sassy lost child

DeezWatts: I hate it I hate this fucking family

Venonat: :3cc

DeezWatts: you don't get to do that to me I Am Upset

Venonat: Perish

Sonic: Don't kill him

Venonat: Perish doesn't mean Murder

Sonic: you’d be surprised

DeezWatts: wow I don't think I want to ask

Sonic: you don't

Shamwow: it's not my murder if Gary did it

Sonic: Gary didn't do shit

Shamwow: you can't prove anything

Sonic: shouta I swear to fuck

Shamwow: this can continue,, in another chat

Sonic: no fuck you

Sonic: I'm exposing you

Shamwow: guess you'll perish

Run™: Do Not

Shamwow: :/

Run™: ://

Shamwow: :///

Run™: :////

Sonic: stop doing this to my brother

Shamwow: ://///

Sonic: ://////

Banoodle: bro no

Sonic: bro yes

Banoodle: bro

Healies: Get off the children’s channel

Banoodle: this is censorship of prime content

Healies: If you think this is prime content I have news for you

Banoodle: >:0

Banoodle: I cannot believe

Banoodle: recovery girl hates my radio station txt it

Healies: Get Off The Children’s Channel Before I Actually Fracture Your Wrist

Sonic: that's not very healeroic

Healies: You've never been a healer then.

Sonic: I'm a Lúcio main

Shamwow: Aggressively

Sonic: fight me

Shamwow: do you want to go

Sonic: kind of

Shamwow: :)

Sonic: Not Anymore.

Healies: I am kicking all of you

Shamwow: you can't kick the void

Healies: Watch me.

Healies has kicked Sonic, Banoodle, and Shamwow from the chat

DeezWatts: power move

Recovery girl is more powerful than the void-EH channel


Banoodle: this is homophobia

Healies: I told you multiple times to leave the children alone

Healies: They don't need your drama

Healies: Why do you always use their chat

Shamwow: it's funnier seeing them confused

Healies: Invalid reason, I'm detaining you

Shamwow: nno wa it

Shamwow is now idle

Healies: Perfect :) Kayama dear could be a darling and come to my office to knock your friend out?

Banoodle: tbh this is fair

Banoodle: pls don't detain me I slept last night

Healies: You're on thin fucking ice.

Chloroform: I'm omw ;)

Sonic: real talk how did Kirishima fall out the window??

Chloroform: to my knowledge

Chloroform: the bakusquad was planning a party for bakugou but he was about the walk out of the room and so Kirishima essentially decided falling out of the window was a good distraction

Healies: it wasn't

Chloroform: he knows that now

Sonic: wait

Sonic: wait it's fucking weed day

Sonic: is bakugou’s birthday weed day

Banoodle: hhheeeelllll yyeeeaaaahhh

Sonic: yell heah?

Banoodle: we hell yeah for weed day

Chloroform: hey remember when everyone thought shouta smoked weed

Shamwow: they still do what are you talking about 'everyone thought’

Shamwow: as fun as weed sounds I don't want to be caught off guard

Banoodle: yeah that's nice and all but what about the thing

Shamwow: leave

Banoodle: my husband won't let me call him out

Shamwow: We Don't Talk About it

Banoodle: but

Shamwow: shush I'm being knocked out

Chloroform: ;)

Shamwow: this is going to wear off faster than you think nemuri

Shamwow: yeet

Shamwow is now idle

Sonic: America explain

Chloroform: he's gay harold

Sonic: but why wouldn't you expect that

Chloroform: BC he hasn't fucking SLEPT and also BC I dragged Hizashi w/ me ;;)

Sonic: exploiting the gay, I commend u

Chloroform: thanks I'm experienced

Sonic: mood

Sonic: u know what's the cutest fucking thing

Chloroform: my girlfriends

Sonic: well,, my boyfriend

Chloroform: meet me in the fucking pit

Sonic: fhhssba

Sonic: no I meant when hizashi does the 'aaaaaaaaaa’ thing & covers his face w/ his gay present mic hands

Banoodle: hhJshskajssbak

Sonic: look I bet he's doing it

Chloroform: he's doing it you're not wrong it's adorable

Sonic: ikr

Sonic: shouta makes him do it it's so good

Banoodle: I'm y e l l i n g

Healies: please leave the medical bay

Sonic: Shuzenji

Sonic: why do you never speak in here?

Sonic: why does no one ever speak?

Healies: Gary

Sonic: understandable.


Hard Man Got Shattered Bro channel


Cutieshima: bAKUBABE


Bakuslay: :/

Cutieshima: BABE!!!!!


Bakuslay: :////

Xenomorph: how u break ur capslock on mobile


Xenomorph: ofbsksbs

Cutieshima: BABE COME HUG ME

Bakuslay: where are you

Cutieshima: >>>::000000


Cutieshima: ILY

Bakuslay: you infuriate me

Cutieshima: I L Y 3

Bakuslay: <3

Bakuslay is now idle

Cutieshima: I AM S OBBING!


DeezWatts: hah gay

BandaidArms: babe

DeezWatts: that's fair

BandaidArms: you're gay

DeezWatts: I said that's fair

Xenomorph: did y'all get the common room sorted??

Run™: Yes!!

BoomBoomPow: I sorted out the music you wanted?

BoomBoomPow: also present michael is coming BC he's a good dad who wants to sign happy birthday to his son alongside everyone singing off tune

Xenomorph: great I love him

DeezWatts: it's time for weed cake lads

BoomBoomPow: don't say lads ever again

DeezWatts: lads

Run™: What Cake

DeezWatts: w

DeezWatts: hh

Run™: :)

Xenomorph: I'm y elling

Run™: :)

BandaidArms: look what you've done

Run™: :)

Pure: it's okay tenya!!

Pure: they messed up the cake so it's in the shape of weed

CandyCRONCH: I can testify that No Weed Was Used In This Cake

CandyCRONCH: And If It Was I Have Stern Words About Ruining Cake

DeezWatts: I didn't weed up the cake stop looking at me like that

Cutieshima: I leave for 3 seconds to meet my boyfriend in the hall & hug him and you've all done this

Cutieshima: anyway we're on our way now

BoomBoomPow: President Michael tossed a sleeping Aizawa onto the couch he got knocked it

BoomBoomPow: by toss I mean he gently placed him down, tucked him in, and pressed a kiss to his forehead it was all very gay and endearing

FullFleshAclehmist: You're very gay and endearing <3

BoomBoomPow: babe bl s,,, <3

Cutieshima: alright you frooty tooty fuckers here comes my b o y f r i e n d

Chapter Text

Snipe Is The HINK we don't deserve-13 channel


McFUCK: y’all wanna know what's fuckin terrifying about all might??

McFUCK: y'all wanna sip this fuckin tea????? Scalding shit???

McFUCK: man’s slowly going from a fuckin HUNK to a HINK in NO TIME and he could still fucking SNAP me in H A L F

Oh?Vacuum?: Me, at everyone, all the time every day

Boo: The tea is hot and I am chugging it

PebbleSkip: why is this how any of you are

McFUCK: I m fuckin sorry????

McFUCK: Symbol of peace??????

McFUCK: kicking ass?? fuckin stick or not??? and then there's fuckin ME, STILL GAY ON MAIN

Oh?Vacuum?: .͎̮̞̫̥̕-̪̻̗̱̟-͏̦̟̗̙̜͈̰ ̥̩̤̙̭̭͘ͅ.͙͕͝.͕̯̻ ̠͢-̷.͘ ̝̙̱͇-͢.̜̝̜̺-̦͎̺ .̫̦.̗̖̥̤̹.͍̮̖̭ reported for gay on main

Banoodle: all of u reported for meme on main


Oh?Vacuum?: I know where I am and I won't take back what was said

PebbleSkip: the longer you're on this chat the more cursed you get

Oh?Vacuum?: Thank u!!! I love u!!!!

PebbleSkip: I love you too but please I am Tired

Oh?Vacuum?: That's fair I'm just here to callout my friend

McFUCK: r ude

Boo: babe

Boo: you are the most surreal person here

RuhRoh: theoretically could snipe control his flight if he fell off a building or was shot out of a canon

Boo: I was wrong

McFUCK: what

RuhRoh: ruff

McFUCK: no fuckin repeat yer goddamn words

RuhRoh: :^)

McFUCK: coward

RuhRoh: UC nsnro resd suddbneky sontbhii nknow

Fangboi: I cannot read, suddenly I do not know

McFUCK: y’know y’dont fuckin speak a lot but when ya do you say the weirdest shit ryou

RuhRoh: ;3c

McFUCK: y'all I'm gonna toss myself off the roof

Oh?Vacuum?: that is not a notification I ever wanted to get in my entire life someone please restrain my friend???

Banoodle: im literally yelling

Shamwow: everything is hell and I am taking the stairs three at a time

Banoodle: please babe wait im curious

Shamwow: we're not letting snipe fall from a fuckin high distance to test his quirk Karen

Banoodle: we could just put,,, mats out

Shamwow: Hizashi you and I both know mats wouldn't do shit have you seen the height of UA

McFUCK: I could just do it from a dorm

Boo: babe you better not

McFUCK: I am walking to the dorm

Boo: babe

McFUCK: I am running to the dorm

Boo: if you even make it up there before I can fucking get to you I will not hesitate to catch you with The Big Fucker Himself

RuhRoh: catch him with your ectoplasm vomit

Boo: I Hate Every Word That Comes Out Of Your Mouth That Makes Sense

McFUCK: oh goose

Banoodle: oh goose?

McFUCK: listen I been running all over hell's half acre and I don't need to take your shit

Banoodle: you've been where

Stronft: he's been busy

Banoodle: I can't believe all might is a translator

Banoodle: we can finally understand snipe

McFUCK: and doesn't that just dill my pickle

Banoodle: I'm crying never mind I don't want to know



McFUCK: worth it

McFUCK: Yeet haw ya fuckin assbags

McFUCK is now idle

Oh?Vacuum?: His family: what were his last words?

Oh?Vacuum?: Me, crying: yeethaw,,,

Boo: no he's fine I got him

Boo: his phone fell off the roof though

PebbleSkip: Karma

Healies: is he even vaguely injured?

Boo: not yet

Healies: and hound dog?

Fangboi: also not yet

Healies: :)

RuhRoh: ruh roh,,

Stronft: 21 Yeehaw salute for Snipe’s phone.

Banoodle: Yeehaw!

Boo: Yeehaw

Oh?Vacuum?: Yeehaw

PebbleSkip: Yeehaw..

Shamwow: i hate this but yeehaw I guess

Stronft: Yeehaw

RuhRoh: yeehaw ;3c

Fangboi: Yeehaw

Cryptid: yeehaw

Healies: Yeehaw

Sonic: Yeehaw

SlipNSlide: yeehaw???

Chloroform: Yeehaw.

Hungy: Yeehaw

TCrews: Yeehaw

Stronft: we’re missing a few yeehaws

Shamwow: he doesn't deserve them

Oh?Vacuum?: Yes he does!!

Boo: does he really though

Oh?Vacuum?: That's your boyfriend

Boo: he's my yeehawfriend

Boo: don't tell him I said that



Stronft: I'm going to ask the children to yeehaw

Banoodle: wH

Shamwow: this is hell


In this house we stan our parental units channel


Run™: A new auto-transcription feature was recently added to the chat so you shouldn't have to worry about setting someone to transcribe any voice calls!

Xenomorph: blessed information that I was given on this day

Venonat: oh ncesi BC I cnta tpe en

Whomst: 'Oh nice because I can't type right now’

Venonat: vc mce nbois

Whomst: 'vc me bois’

Pure: is he alright??

Venonat: [Yeah me me big boy]

Venonat: [Oh shit this is what the voice channel transcripts looks like now nice]

Infernape: we're making him eat something because he hasn't eaten in two days

Pure: Understandable

Infernape: I have never been more uncomfortable than I am now, sitting in my teacher’s home, trying to get my boyfriend to eat something

Whomst: oh mood?

Whomst: there are cats everywhere what the fuck

Infernape: why do they multiply every time we visit??

Vulpix: there are only like five

Pure: 'like five’

Infernape: there were three last time we were here

Vulpix: well sometimes the strays that Aizawa has befriended come in and get fed and sometimes Hitoshi’s strays come in and get fed

Vulpix: honestly we've had all the 'strays’ go for vet check ups whenever we can they're basically part of the cat family

Venonat: [Call them by their names coward]

Vulpix: I'm not doing that

Vulpix: there are too many to type out

Venonat: [you know what fair]


Venonat is now idle

Run™: his what

Whomst: his voreos, harold.

Run™: well helen I was not aware we were calling them that now

Pure: tenya please

Run™: :)!

Pure: :)!!

Pure: <3

Run™: <33

Vulpix: hah gay

Run™: Shouto

Pure: shouto,,

Vulpix: let me get in on that hug pile I can see you forming across the room

DeezWatts: wait did you get a new cat?

Vulpix: yeah it's the one we were arguing about names over

Vulpix: we eventually settled on non vocaloid (for now) and so they are called Fish Food

Xenomorph: I would die for them

Vulpix: Oh me?

Xenomorph: OH MIDORIYA!!

Xenomorph: yknow the ‘what’s the best time to go to the dentist, tooth hurty joke’?

Xenomorph: well

Xenomorph: what’s the best time to go to the doctor, midoriya?

Xenomorph: bone hurty

Pure: a,,, a lw a ys??

DeezWatts: wow ur health insurance must be fuckin lit

Stronft is no longer idle

Stronft: Children I require A Few Yeehaws

Pure: wh

Pure: why???

Stronft: hound dog asked snipe if his quirk worked on his own body and his phone fell of the roof, details aren't important

Pure: whAT

Murkrow: to quote the raven: hot diggity shit



Xenomorph: YEEHAW

Stronft: That'll Do Thank You

Stronft is now idle

Xenomorph: now midoriya let's talk about your insurance


Cowboy Machine Thrown, YEET-13 channel


Stronft is no longer idle

Stronft: I have collected the yeehaws

Stronft: Snipe’s phone rests in peace

Banoodle: and in pieces

Shamwow: why are you like this

Banoodle: you looovvveee meeee

Shamwow: :/

Stronft: you did marry him eraser

Shamwow: did I really though?

Shamwow: show me the receipts.

Banoodle: the ring on m’finger

Banoodle: m’ring-ger

Shamwow: I hate you

Banoodle: babe it's for shits and giggles

Banoodle: shiggles

Shamwow: you're dead to me

Banoodle: fair, you have to kill me with the rainbow knife though

Shamwow: the what

Banoodle: so my death can be stabulous

Shamwow: I'm leaving you

MysteriousSTRNGR is no longer idle

MysteriousSTRNGR has changed their name to McFUCK

McFUCK: I can't believe I found my old phone when I was tryn t’find my broken one

McFUCK: honing is a slimy bitch y'all

Oh?Vacuum?: Did

Oh?Vacuum?: Did you throw something to find your phone??

McFUCK: ectoplasm made me a paper airplane and now I'm comin for hound dog’s ass

Chloroform: kfgsksvsk

Chloroform: woah there cowboy

McFUCK: I've decided midnight is next

Chloroform: that's valid

Chloroform: also why the fuck do neither of u use each other's names at school??

Boo: it's called separating your work life from your home life karen

McFUCK: Also cause we wanna keep y’all guessing bout names

Chloroform: but W h y

McFUCK: because we can conflabit

Oh?Vacuum?: conflabit

Chloroform: conflabit

PebbleSkip: conflabit

Banoodle: conflabit

Sonic: conflabit

Shamwow: conflabit

Fangboi: conflabit

RuhRoh: conflabit

Stronft: conflabit

Boo: conflabit

McFUCK: I can't believe everyone came for m’life at the same dang time

McFUCK: aren't some of y’all teaching additional lessons??

Shamwow: they understand the need to tease you

McFUCK: this is cyberbullyin and y’all are some toodly doos

Chloroform: some wh

Boo: babe

Boo: p l e a s e

Boo: we can't keep doing this

McFUCK: yell hep we can

Chloroform: yell hep


Shamwow: yell hep

McFUCK is now idle

Boo: you broke my boyfriend

Banoodle: they always say yeehaw but never ask haw yee


League of Kinda Bad People with Debatable Morals channel


Dr.Vape: Tomura what are you doing

KurstyKrab: don't worry about it

Dr.Vape: I'm worrying about it

KurstyKrab: That's not my problem

Dr.Vape: It Is Now

KurstyKrab: I hate you

Dr.Vape: :)

Lit: pls stop warping crust boy into my door it's getting annoying

Dr.Vape: oh but you told me the thuds were satisfying

Lit: yeah but then I remembered they were made by hand man :/

PrepareForTrouble: oof

Toxic: lmao oof

AndMakeItDouble: oof

KurstyKrab: you're all dead to me and I'm leaving your handles the way they are

Lit: the what

SuccNSwitch: kdhsksn toMURA

SuccNSwitch: WHY

KurstyKrab: on weed day one of you chicken piece mcnobodies stunk out the base

Toxic: god I wish I had pissed you off that bad

Dr.Vape: I Will Not Save You

Toxic: that's fair

Lit: are you even legally allowed to smoke?

Toxic: are you even legally allowed to live?

Lit: you're like 3

Toxic: I'm eleven, so shut the fuck up

SuccNSwitch: ur not even eleven ;((

Toxic: :)

AndMakeItDouble: I can't believe Young Murder Snipe won't tell us his age

Toxic: and this is why

SuccNSwitch: ruuuddeee

KurstyKrab: I hate all of you

KurstyKrab: all the time

KurstyKrab: every day

SuccNSwitch: awww Tomura we love u too

Lit: no we dont

AndMakeItDouble: weren't u two going at it the other day

Lit: it's called murder

SuccNSwitch: hot

Lit: that's my quirk

SuccNSwitch: hot

Lit: I hate you

Lit: all the time

Lit: every day

KurstyKrab: that's my meme back the fuck up

Lit: sorry my parking doesn't undo

KurstyKrab: you don't fucking drive

Lit: you can't even hold a steering wheel

SuccNSwitch: can't drive gays

Lit: first off

Lit: fuck you

SuccNSwitch: that's fair ;;(

Chapter Text

Toru is the only cursed one here channel


Whomst: sometimes my phone autocorrects tokoyami to takoyaki and I think that's beautiful

Tentacruel: it's because he's a snacc

Murkrow: toru turn on your location I just want to talk

Infernape: we're baking with Rikidou

Whomst: if u enter this room i’m going for ur fingers w/ a knife

Whomst: it's called cut lery for a reason

Rowlet: ฅ=͟͟͞͞((꒪∆꒪;)ฅ

Murkrow: your courage and edgy puns have excused you

CandyCRONCH: No stabbing in my hellish kitchen you are all Cowards And Fools

FrenchSparkleParty: so, no murder in flavour town?

CandyCRONCH: no murder, no homicide, no maiming, no death, no decapitation

Whomst: me, being decapitated: so… no head?

Murkrow: the sound of the phone smashing is replaced by the blade falling, your neck snaps instead of the skateboard. A worthy sacrifice for the meme. You're dead to me.

Whomst: entirely fair!

CandyCRONCH: you aren't getting any  of this cake Toru

Whomst: but I'm baking!!!!

CandyCRONCH: no you're not you're being hetero on main with Mashirao

CandyCRONCH: also you're eating the stuff we've already made

Rowlet: o(゚Д゚)っ

Murkrow: kfhska Kouda no not that vine

Rowlet: o(゚Д゚)っ

Whomst: stop

Infernape: let me do this rikido you coward

CandyCRONCH: no it's fine I'm not really annoyed

Whomst: my bf is cute & I love him, I am not hiding the fact that I'm purposely getting batter on my face for him to smooch off

CandyCRONCH: idk sounds pretty straight Toru

Whomst: we met your girlfriend!! Like three months ago!!!!

CandyCRONCH: I guess you're right :/

Rowlet: (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚* (⌒▽⌒ゞ

FrenchSparkleParty: Oui! This is the only valid friend group Kouji ~✧˖°

Rowlet: °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

FrenchSparkleParty: Quoi?

FrenchSparkleParty: C’est moi?

Rowlet: O(≧∇≦)O

Rowlet: ヾ(*´∀`*)ノ

Rowlet: ⊂( ・ ̫・)⊃

Whomst: kdhska

FrenchSparkleParty: Aaaa well!! We love you too <333

Tentacruel: In this house we are All love Kouji


Whomst: rt

Infernape: rt

Murkrow: Rt

Rowlet: (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

Rowlet: ლ(///´◜⊜`//////ლ)

Rowlet: ヽ(*>∇<)ノ

Whomst: my biggest ever rt will go to the fact that Kouji is intensely adorable and we all 100% stan, love, and support this precious animal loving son


Tentacruel: RT

Infernape: Rt

Murkrow: rt

Rowlet: (∗∕ ∕•̥̥̥̥∕ω∕•̥̥̥̥∕) <3 <3 <3

Venonat: oh are we loving and supporting Kouji? Lets Go Off

Rowlet: Rowlet: (⸝⸝⸝ ≧ㅿ\⸝⸝⸝)/


This is a Bakusquad Household channel


DeezWatts: u ever think ppl make separate gcs just to shit talk u?

Bakuslay: no

Xenomorph: that's literally what this is

BandaidArms: you can't prove that

Xenomorph: yesterday bakugou literally dissed all of the business classes in this channel and then stormed away to do it to their faces

Cutieshima: he's valid!

Xenomorph: no he's violent

Bakuslay: no this is Patrick

Cutieshima: jrhLdhskaba

DeezWatts: screenshotted, saved, engraved onto my headstone

Bakuslay: we can arrange the grave part Pikachu

DeezWatts: pika pika pi-ss off

Bakuslay: that's fair

Cutieshima: my boyfriend is Hella valid you're all just cowards

BandaidArms: the only coward here is mina because she can't talk to her crush

Xenomorph: I'm a mess!!! Fuck you!!!!!

Xenomorph: I get crushes on everyone all the time I thought it was just a quick thing!! I was wrong!!!!

Bakuslay: sounds about right to me

Xenomorph: aaaaaaa katsuki pleaaassee ::(((

Bakuslay: :/

Xenomorph: p l e a s e I'm crying

BandaidArms: come on we'll help you talk to her

Xenomorph: ur all terrible at getting S/Os

BandaidArms: evidence?

Xenomorph: all of u had crushes on ur bfs for months before you accidentally confessed to each other >>::(

Cutieshima: I mean you're not entirely wrong

Xenomorph: omg u guys are useless maybe I'll just ask the girls gc

BandaidArms: the fact you have that doesn't even phase me anymore

Xenomorph: do the guys not have one >:?

BandaidArms: no everyone would kill each other that's a horrible idea

Bakuslay: Mina

Bakuslay: your insistence to use homestuck emojis is both admirable and fucking disgusting put that shit away right the fuck now

Xenomorph: no u

Bakuslay is now idle

Xenomorph: oh no


Shit talking Bakugou channel


Pure: who!!! Changed the name!!!

Vulpix: no idea.

Pure: Shouto please

Space: it was me, dio!

Run™: I just got childhood flashbacks

Vulpix: sorry what's a childhood again?

Pure: Shouto Please

Kewwo: oh we changed the group chat name again?

Kewwo: it was the izucrew before

Space: it should still be the izucrew!

Space: but I don't want to change it because I feel like we should shit talk bakugou

Space: but in a nice way!

Space: like how he does those little hand explosions when Kirishima is around!

Pure: he's trying to be better,, ^^;

Vulpix: good

Run™: I agree it's good that bakugou is attempting to change his behaviour! Development is essential for all of us to learn!

Kewwo: are we gonna change the chat name back?

Space: yeah I feel mean dksbka

Space: it's fine though I spar with him at training

Kewwo: kick his ass hon

Space: !‾͟͟͞(((ꎤ•̀_•́)—̳͟͞͞o –==三三⊂´⌒つ・益・)つ

Run™: Ochacho please

Maybe Yeehonk will be their always?-13 channel


McFUCK: I found my phone now there are two of me

Boo: that's my quirk

Oh?Vacuum?: Could you give each of your clones a phone?

Boo: ;;

PebbleSkip: he's done it before

Shamwow: it was on my fucking case as well

Boo: to be fair I didn't realise I would call you out quite that hard

Shamwow: you literally dragged up a conversation from when I was in highschool how do you do that subconsciously

Boo: pure force of will and a whole lot of spite?

Shamwow: I hate it

Shamwow: it's a mood and I hate it

PebbleSkip: it was very amusing

Oh?Vacuum?: It was pretty funny eraser!

Oh?Vacuum?: Oops sorry,, shouta?

Shamwow: either is fine you sound like mic in high school

Oh?Vacuum?: (๑ˊ▵ॢˋ̥๑)

Shamwow: It's fine Anakuro

Oh?Vacuum?: I said Hirooki was fine you Coward

McFUCK: when did y’all get chummy?

Shamwow: when I got my orbital floor shattered, my limbs broken, several fractures through all my bones, my elbow disintegrated and they got their back ripped off

McFUCK: understandable have a nice day

Oh?Vacuum?: Also like a couple of years ago

Shamwow: don't negate my edgey answers

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm negating them

Shamwow: rude

Oh?Vacuum?: Ψ(☆w☆)Ψ

Shamwow: _(┐「/:)_

Boo: me

McFUCK: aw shucks

TCrews: I'm sorry did you just say aw shucks non verbally

McFUCK: only a lil

TCrews: smh

Boo: leave him alone he's a friend and a boy

Boo: a boyfriend if you will

TCrews: both of u are absolutely exhausting

PebbleSkip: is it because of hatsume mei

TCrews: yeah it's because of hatsume mei

PebbleSkip: what did she do

TCrews: what didn't she do

Boo: perish?

TCrews: i never wish that upon her she's my student and as exhausting as she is I love her

Boo: no I wasn't telling her to perish i

TCrews: you're physically incapable of telling a child to perish aren't you

Boo: hhh

Boo: y e p sounds about right

RuhRoh: I throw the children

TCrews: you what

RuhRoh: I throw

RuhRoh: the children

Boo: yeethaw

McFUCK: I drink to forget but I never disremember


PebbleSkip has pinned a message to the channel

Fangboi: I hate you all

Shamwow: that's the most valid thing you've said all week

Fangboi: fuck you

Shamwow: my mistake you said 'i love my cursed kids’ this morning at briefing


Fangboi: that's fair


League of Kinda Bad People with Debatable Morals channel


Dr.Vape: what am I looking at

Lit: death

SuccNSwitch: >>::33cc

KurstyKrab: why did you double everything there

SuccNSwitch: oh I'm sorry >>>>>:3c

Toxic: somehow worse

SuccNSwitch: >:Ɛ

Toxic: what the fuck

AndMakeItDouble: hey

AndMakeItDouble: watch your fucking language

Dr.Vape: I just want to know who changed Mr. Compress’ name to vore man

VoreMan: This is fine

Dr.Vape: it's really not

SuccNSwitch: it's funny because he puts people in balls and eats them

VoreMan: I do not eat them!

VoreMan: I was holding them! It was an illusion you foul Cretan

SuccNSwitch: ommgg kuro he talks like u

Dr.Vape: No he doesn't I've become apathetic

Lit: he's right

Lit: we killed his compassion

KurstyKrab: he doesn't need it

Lit: you won't even have it when I'm done with you

KurstyKrab: I'm going to break all the fucking doors watch your shit

Lit is now idle

Dr.Vape: you're first

KurstyKrab is now idle

VoreMan: I don't need this negativity in my good vibes household

VoreMan has changed their name to Poof

SuccNSwitch: thats!!! The lamest name!!!

SuccNSwitch: VoreMan or Death!

Poof: Then perish

Dr.Vape: Atsuhiro I'm going to shank you

Poof: Yeah that sounds about right

SuccNSwitch: Atsuhiro

SuccNSwitch: >;3c

SuccNSwitch: > ;3c

SuccNSwitch: >;3c

Toxic: did you just move your facial features instead of your eyebrows

AndMakeItDouble: those are eyebrows??

SuccNSwitch: I hate u both ;;(

SuccNSwitch: magne is the only valid sibling here and I love her

PrepareForTrouble: <3

SuccNSwitch: <3

Toxic: Mr Compress is a good dad the rest of you are just cowards

Poof: i

Dr.Vape: they got you too

SuccNSwitch: yh but are u two dating

SuccNSwitch: can I call u both my official bad dads

Dr.Vape: Sorry but I can't read. Suddenly, I do not know.

Poof: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SuccNSwitch: denial is defeat and they're fauckin

Toxic: oh they faauucckin

Toxic: how come it took less time to figure out the dads then it did krusty and sparky

SuccNSwitch: BC they're young coward gays whereas the dads are old wizened gays

SuccNSwitch: also because they're dancing around each other & I'm gonna have to shove my knife in between ;;)

Toxic: wait are you going to stab them

SuccNSwitch: that

SuccNSwitch: or I'm going to body drop

Toxic: body what

SuccNSwitch: shhhhhh

SuccNSwitch: you'll understand when you're older ;;;))

Toxic: I'm gonna stab you,,

SuccNSwitch: I have the knives u poor delusional baby

Toxic: Gun.

Dr.Vape: that's not how you stab someone

Toxic: shut up I thought you couldn't read

Poof: he can't

Toxic: stop defending your misty boyfriend & help me stab toga with a gun

Poof: children no

Toxic is now idle

Dr.Vape: they're breaking you in

SuccNSwitch is now idle

Poof: I hate it

Chapter Text

Hey guys Agi here!!


I know it's not a chapter but this is a genuinely important thing that's occurring.


Getting straight to the point! I’m sure everyone remembers the saving net neutrality posts that go around, they got a boat load of attention!! But there's a similar thing happening in the EU right now, and wow! Wouldn't you know it! Guess where this particular author is.


Essentially, the European Parliament is currently planning to tighten the copyright law, which would massively restrict our freedom on the internet. Between July and September (and we're already in that timeframe) the European Parliament will be discussing and deciding on new copyright reforms that could copyright laws throughout the EU.


This is intended to support creators, but it has a high possibility of backfiring instead. Article 11 and Article 13 especially would cause huge hindrances to both consumers and to creators.


Article 11 of the proposal of the European Commission is mainly focussing on the Ancillary Copyright information providers.

More specific press rights are going to protect the contents of these providers and will need a purchased license to be able to be used by others.


I'm quoting this directly because I have no idea how to phrase a lot of this*: Implementation of Article 13 results in a total real-time filtering of every piece of content that will be uploaded to the internet.
What this means: Every data package will be automatically scanned by a potentially error-prone algorithm.
This is comparable to the erroneous algorithm deployed by YouTube, which often mistakenly deletes content that is not protected by copyright law.


This is a problem for me and others on Ao3, Tumblr and many other platforms, because effectively everything will be filtered for us. Anything 'fandom’ related is copyrighted material, and thus we won't be able to post or consume any of this media type.


I genuinely enjoy writing this fic, I've put time and effort into it and I love each and every person who reads it and takes the time to comment. I love the people who have joined the discord even if everyone is super cursed a lot of the time! Mentally and emotionally, these are support structures I've built up for myself, and losing such a thing is catastrophic for me.



There's another round of voting scheduled for the early days of July!! Please share this with people!! Even if you're not living in the EU, this is going to affect people as much as net neutrality. You're going to be losing consumers and creators who reside within the EU. We banded together before to help put a stop to the net neutrality, we can band together again!! Please pass this information along, to friends and family, to discord servers if you feel necessary!


If these laws pass, there's a chance I won't be able to post anything anymore. I also won't be able to consume any fandom media, or copyrighted material that's been sited. I don't want to lose these things, but it may come to pass.


Again!!! Please share this information, and if you can vote no against this!

So I guess!!! It's bye bye from me for now, and hopefully I'll be able to talk to you all again!!!!

– Agi! It's been a blast <333


*Most of what I've said comes from this: link to a petition about the laws that are being discussed

Here's a full Tumblr post where I’m getting a lot of this information from!

For people living in the EU, he's a link to contact MEPs and get more information and keep up with news about it!

Chapter Text

All Might ur so valid honey -M channel


Chloroform: caught tensei and shouta being gay cuddle friends on main

Chloroform: whoops this was meant to go to the gc

Banoodle: I am Disgusted, I am Revolted, I dedicate my entire life to being the most extra Bi and this is the thanks I get??

Banoodle: they're cuddling without meeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Banoodle: Kouichi my man I'm stealing you!!

SlipNSlide: what

Banoodle: I'm stealing you!!!!!

SlipNSlide: I don't think you understand what part of that is worrying

SlipNSlide: but at the same time okay

Banoodle: NICE!!!!!!!

Chloroform: omg go to ur dumb gay house u fools

Banoodle: hey hey hey!!! You are IN that dumb gay house chat!!!!!!!!

TCrews: either way get your sappy shit out of my life

Banoodle: D:

Hungy: Let them be affectionate Maijima!!!!

Banoodle: :D

TCrews: Fuck you

Hungy: No you!!!!


TCrews: ngl I'm at a loss

Chloroform: .jpg?

TCrews: you're all dead to me and I'm going back to the workshop

Shamwow: your words can't hurt me these eyebags are gucci

Boo: you can't escape the memes Maijima!

Boo: put your glasses back on and face the facts!

TCrews: bye


Your words cannot hurt me for these trainers are Gucci, Iida 2kGayteen channel


Cutieshima: guys so

Cutieshima: just dudes being guys but me and iida watched the whole sonic x series again

Bakuslay: what the fuck why

Cutieshima: we were working out and we found the monitors in the gym what else were we gonna do bro

Bakuslay: not fucking that

Cutieshima: okay but bro

Cutieshima: bro knuckles is so good

DeezWatts: isn't he just like,,, , , you,,


Bakuslay: oh fuckles

Cutieshima has changed their name to Knuckles

Knuckles: it's me, a strong red boy!

Bakuslay: this is

Bakuslay: why

Knuckles has changed Bakuslay 's name to Rogue

Rogue: e i j i n o


DeezWatts: I'm fuckgin cscklING EIJINO


Maijima is mean on main –LR channel


Sonic: ur both terrible I can't believe you're putting me through this

Sonic: my own bf & bff

Sonic: why are u screaming hizashi all I did was steal ur man

Banoodle: I will scream if I want to!

Chloroform: you can scream if you want to, you can leave your friends behind

Fangboi: he's going to deafen someone

Shamwow: hey

Shamwow: if he deafens anyone while screaming it's gonna be me

Chloroform: shoUTA

SlipNSlide: this chat was a mistake

Sonic: I'm out

Sonic has left the chat

SlipNSlide: Tensei n o why do you get to leave,,

Chloroform: was that a fuckgin

Shamwow: not now nem

Banoodle: ooooh shouu is that a challenge ;)

Shamwow: do you want it to be one?

Banoodle: that depends when you get off of work today ;;)

SlipNSlide: nope

SlipNSlide is now idle

Chloroform: is this actually happening

Fangboi: unfortunately, I think so

Chloroform: no, are they flirting over this main channel??

Chloroform: is this a show of affection, from Aizawa, over a public channel for us?????

Fangboi: the worst part is I doubt he'll do much shutting up

Stronft has added Knuckles to the chat

Shamwow: if you're doubting my ability to shut zashi up you've made a fatal error and I can confirm two possibilities:

Shamwow: either you will have windows tonight or you will have none







Banoodle: oh you entered at a b a  d time kirishima,,

Shamwow: thaTS KIRISHIMA?!

Banoodle: kfjsksba y ep,,



Cryptid: No.


Knuckles: what the fuckles

Shamwow has kicked Knuckles from the chat

Shamwow: This was the single most cursed experience of my entire life and I want to die????????

Banoodle: I'm laughing but also crying

Chloroform: incANDNT BREATHE


Your words cannot hurt me for these trainers are Gucci, Iida 2kGayteen channel


Rogue: I fucking hate this fucking family what the fuck kind of bullshit are you all pulling

DeezWatts: can I be tails

Xenomorph: ur not smart enough

BandaidArms: oof

DeezWatts: neither are you!!

BandaidArms: oof

Xenomorph: none of us are smart enough to be tails ;((

BandaidArms: bakusquad too dumb for tails tweet it

Vulpix: This is so sad

Vulpix: Alexa, play the sonic x theme

BandaidArms: hHkbfjssbksna

Xenomorph: O O F

Run™: Shouto I love you

Vulpix: :)

Knuckles has changed their name to Cutieshima

Cutieshima has changed Rogue 's name to Bakuslay

Xenomorph: that was abrupt, are you alright?

Cutieshima: all might accidentally added me to the teachers channel

DeezWatts: oh shit

Cutieshima: and I'm pretty sure I interrupted Aizawa flirting with Mic???

BandaidArms: oh shit

Cutieshima: Aizawa called all might a blubbering buffoon???

Xenomorph: o h s h i t

Cutieshima: I was cursed?

Bakuslay: what the fuck


Pure: oh no, even when he's not trying all might is still a big mood

DeezWatts: lmao ur telling m e

Xenomorph: wait what did u say???

Cutieshima: what the fuckles


Vulpix: oh my fucktsnkssbs

Run™: Tell me you didn't…

Cutieshima: no I definitely did



Cryptid: No.


Knuckles: what the fuckles”

Cutieshima: and then I got kicked

Xenomorph: kicked means you can go back in right?

Xenomorph: when they ban u,,, that's when you can't go back in

Cutieshima: I'm not re-entering that hellscape mina, Aizawa called the principal dad

Xenomorph: come on kiri do it for the meme

Xenomorph: the Bakusquad would do it for u

Cutieshima: that's the main issue here and I hate that I'm giving into peer pressure because it sounds kinda fun

Run™: I

Run™: I have lost all control of the children

FullFleshAlchemist: No I think that happened a while ago..

Xenomorph: haha YEaH It did

Murkrow: what was that sound?

FullFleshAlchemist: My point exactly

Pure: Kacchan stop blowing shit up and just do your homework

Bakuslay: but mom

Pure: don't make me come in there


Pure: flsgaksak

DeezWatts: (we are,,, like,,, aware that's the fifth meme bakugou has went along with that was midoriya’s,,, right?)

BandaidArms: (yeah im so proud of our boy)

Pure: rlly though Kacchan mic wants you to learn those signs for next session

Bakuslay: ugH

Bakuslay: I'll memorise them fine

Cutieshima: I don't remember like half of them tho want me to come over after I'm done and then u can offer moral support bc I caused our teachers Extreme Stress?

Bakuslay: oh hell yeah

Pure: gay

Bakuslay: shut your gay up

Pure: you really have a way with words Kacchan


All Might ur still rlly valid honey -M channel


Cutieshima has re-entered the chat

Shamwow: I'm so stressed that sunlight hurts. I. Am. God's. Mistake.

Shamwow: each of those full stops symbolises a clapping emoji and I hope this conveys the utter STRESS I am under at all times


Banoodle: lHfoshskssbka

Chloroform: I'm cryign kirishima u really need to lEaVE

Cutieshima: I'm learning about peer pressure and how even though it's bad it can yield funny results

Shamwow: I exist on a separate plane of existence to this one and I want sky papa to beam me the fucK UP



Shamwow: everything is possible with pixie dust Tensei that's why we have more than 2 cats

Shamwow: wait shouta I want another cat

Shamwow: wait I have the wrong phone

Banoodle: no fuck you, my castle now.

Banoodle: this house is in disarray and

Banoodle: wait why do you want another cat

Shamwow: idk

Sonic: drop his phone you'll lose the urge

Shamwow: he's got Neko Atsume

Banoodle: everyone knows I have that on my phone zashi

Fangboi: wow you really are god's mistake

Banoodle: thank you!

Shamwow: that's still him, I know sudden punctuation scared you kan

Fangboi: I'm going to steal your microphone cup

Shamwow: bitch don't you dare

Fangboi: :)

Shamwow: oh I am going to knock you out with STERN WORDS YOUNG MAN

Fangboi is now idle

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle has kicked Cutieshima from the chat


Your words cannot hurt me for these trainers are Gucci, Iida 2kGayteen channel


Cutieshima: I got kicked again flsbdksba

Xenomorph: we need a Bakusquad meeting hearing this over text isn't enough

Cutieshima: meet me in the gym I'm still working out bros

Run™: Why have they not banned you yet?

Cutieshima: I don't think they're able to??

Cutieshima: like only mods on this chat can really do that, but I think on theirs their mod is probably the principal??

Run™: And he's very easily amused by these sorts of antics, oh dear..

FullFleshAlchemist: Stress free zone in the common room. Don't bring your antics there.

Xenomorph: Yes ma’am :3c

Xenomorph: so gym right??

Cutieshima: hell yeah bro!!!

DeezWatts: understandable I'm omw

Bakuslay: Who's there with you?

Cutieshima: Iida left to do gay things

Run™: No I did not!!! I was making hot chocolate for my boyfriends!!!!

BandaidArms: d ude

Run™: >:(

BandaidArms: Understandable Have A Nice Day

Cutieshima: It's me n tetsubro rn!! What an absolute TANK

Bakuslay: alright I'm on my way

DeezWatts: sounds suspiciously gay kiri ;3c

Cutieshima: bro we've been over this my heart belongs to bakubro wholey but have u s e en that mans abs omg,,

DeezWatts: hanta babe do u wanna go check out ppl with me

BandaidArms: ofc

Xenomorph: is it just you guys ;(

Cutieshima: Kendou’s here too

Xenomorph: H

Xenomorph: Suddenly I Am Running!

Cutieshima: lol nice I'll see u all here


Turn on your location All Might -EH channel


Cutieshima has re-entered the chat

Shamwow: Kan, not handing back that mug is going to cause literal earthquakes just,,, fuckgin do it

Shamwow: haha look shou he's back

Banoodle: oh, death?

Oh?Vacuum?: We got infiltrated and everything fell apart.

Shamwow: Yeah we know, now what happened to the chat

Oh?Vacuum?: Yamada, I hold great respect for you, but not when your husband is grabbing your hair and you are balanced on one foot on top of Kan’s desk.

Shamwow: this is our dance

Oh?Vacuum?: Sure Jan

Cutieshima: I feel like i'm hallucinating and every time I come back it's stronger

Fangboi: can we just spam the mods until someone bans the poor kid?

Banoodle: you and I both know the dad won't do it

Banoodle: principal.

Banoodle: the principal nedzu.

Banoodle: who is a principal. Our principal.

Cutieshima: I can't believe our grand dad is our principal

Fangboi: yeah no we're going to have to spam cementoss

Oh?Vacuum?: I will rip your hero licences.

Oh?Vacuum?: He just came back from a mission and is Tired, if you even ping him once I am coming for your life.

Fangboi: what about maijima???

RuhRoh: busy in the workshop, his phone is off

Banoodle: these are all cursed facts

Shamwow: who else even has mod permissions???

Banoodle: I have it in the kids chat but this is the Large Kid chat and that Isn't Good

Banoodle has changed their name to Idiot Husband

Shamwow: oH bITCH

Shamwow has changed their name to Nap Man

Chloroform: nap man! Take me by the hand! Lead mE tO thE LaND!

Idiot Husband has changed their name to Soufhdsjskso#sjss#snsnssndbddb

Sonic: oh this can't be good

Sonic: fill me in boys I don't work at UA and just got added back to the chat

Chloroform: I'm videoing

Sonic: you're excused

Oh?Vacuum?: I'm leaving and so is Kan

Sonic: bitch

Sonic: not u thirteen you are lovely and have done nothing wrong ever

McFUCK: I'm just watching this is great

McFUCK: they're doing the normal thing they always do

Sonic: oh, boring

Cutieshima: why was there a big crash???

McFUCK: oh

McFUCK: well you see when Eraserhead loves someone very much

McFUCK: he supplexes them into a table.

Sonic: hot

Nap Man has changed their name to deisudurhdvvrjskandvdiepwnwlwnd

Cutieshima: should we be concerned there was 'die’ in there?

McFUCK: you see when eraserhead loves someone very much,,

Sonic: h o t

deisudurhdvvrjskandvdiepwnwlwnd: tenSIE GFM FIGTH YOU

Sonic: hot :)

Soufhdsjskso#sjss#snsnssndbddb: 1v1 BN ME FBRO

Sonic: sick nasty

deisudurhdvvrjskandvdiepwnwlwnd has kicked Cutieshima

Sonic: rip

deisudurhdvvrjskandvdiepwnwlwnd has changed their name to Shamwow

Soufhdsjskso#sjss#snsnssndbddb has changed their name to Banoodle

PebbleSkip is no longer idle

PebbleSkip: Why the hell is this pinging so much?


Shamwow: I supplexed Hizashi.

PebbleSkip: Normal day in the office then.

PebbleSkip has banned Cutieshima - Reason : Saw too much


Your words cannot hurt me for these trainers are Gucci, Iida 2kGayteen channel


Cutieshima: aw they banned me

Cutieshima: what I've learned is that the teachers are just as disorganised as we are

Cutieshima: and that their chat is basically like ours except somehow with more fighting

Cutieshima: anyway back to me working out, so

DeezWatts: omfg

DeezWatts: before u get on ur working out story I'm like,,

DeezWatts: sorry,, just,,, anyone else low-key staring at tetsutetsu's abs?

Bakuslay: there is nothing low-key about what you're doing

BandaidArms: it's fine I'm high key drawing the most attention from it

DeezWatts: that's because you high key aren't trying to hide it

BandaidArms: you're high key blushing beyond belief

Cutieshima: my abs are high key jealous

Xenomorph: you're high key blind if you can't see katsuki dying in the corner

Cutieshima: ;)

Vulpix: Kirishima is high-key aware apparently.

Cutieshima: ;;;)


Class One–Bae channel



YaoiHands: Tetsu, sweetie, it's because they're all gay


YaoiHands: Testu no

Kirishima: TETSU YES

Dark’ness: lmao they're gonna dieeeeee

BlowTorch: Honestly mood ;(

Dark'ness: you'd blow h i s torch

BlowTorch: my name doesn't mean that and I hate you for implying it does

Winston: These are the cursed children I did not request

YaoiHands: Well Amazon prime shipped them here and now we've got them, square up

Snatched: What if I want to be oblong

YaoiHands: square up or square down monoma, oblongs come later :)

Snatched: Huh

Snatched: Well I'm Thoroughly Terrified Good Night!

Snatched: Oh look at that the pink one is heading to the gym

YaoiHands: whAT

Snatched: Bye :)

Chapter Text



Chloroform: it means your show is almost done and you can finally sleep?





Chloroform: HIZASHI NO

Shamwow: zashi have a nap at least...




Chloroform: H I Z A S H I  N O


I    A M

I M  M O R T A L  !

Chloroform: H   I Z   A S H   I N O

Shamwow: Hizashi I'm on patrol I can't collect you, please take a nap

Banoodle: YO YO YO WHAT??

Shamwow: yeah, underground precincts are working overtime


Shamwow: big case zashi

Shamwow: you're being hypocritical

Chloroform: you're both absolute disasters omfg


Chloroform: I'm listening to ur show dumbass I can't believe you've got all star as a break at 4am

Banoodle: I'm saving The Next Episode (thank u Mr Dogg) for 4:20 ;(

Sonic: Mr Dogg omg

Chloroform: omg why aren't any of us asleep wtf

Chloroform: tensei why aren't u being the responsible brother ur supposed to be

Sonic: I'm marathoning Sonic X

Shamwow: somehow that makes the most sense out of everyone's answers...

Sonic: it's what sonic would've wanted

Shamwow: is it though?

Banoodle: Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chloroform: stop being an enabler Hizashi

Chloroform: shouta collect ur mans

Shamwow: I'm at work

Chloroform: So is he

Shamwow: mmgghh

Shamwow: I would collect him but I have a case that I've been working on for three months and we're finally moving in on it

Chloroform: oh shit is it t h a t case?

Chloroform: emi's been stressing over it ;(

Shamwow: yeah

Shamwow: I'm making her buy me coffee when we get this over and done with she's cracked so many jokes

Shamwow: if your girlfriend doesn't come back it's either because I stole her for coffee purposes or I stole her to tape her mouth closed

Chloroform: kinky

Shamwow: n o

Shamwow: wait someone just bookmarked something in the logs

Shamwow: aw fuck there's a siren

Shamwow: I hate you all why do the kids do things that look concerning right as I need to head out to do my job

Chloroform: lmao rip

Chloroform: Hizashi the song is almost over

Banoodle: yeAH I'm grabbing coffee another one will be starting up in a hot sec

Chloroform: Hizashi,, ,  ,your sticks,,, ,

Sonic: 15 hour energy + coffee

Shamwow: god I wish that were me

Banoodle: ily babe good luck!!!

Shamwow: you too <3

Shamwow is now idle

Chloroform: lmfao gay

Banoodle: it be like that sometimes!!!

Sonic: I'm going back to sonic fkdhsks


[ Do Not Disturb Aoyama's Beauty Sleep channel ]


Xenomorph: @ everyone @ everyone @ everyone

FrenchSparkleParty: Mina, il est quatre heures du matin.

FrenchSparkleParty: Qu'est-ce que ç'est si important?!

Rowlet: ゞ◎Д◎ヾ

Xenomorph: omg kouji,, sweetie,,,,, why are u awake

FrenchSparkleParty: Tu l'as réveillé!!

Rowlet: ;A; !!!!!!!

Xenomorph: ur so right I'm so fuckin sorry for waking u up sweeties ur doing fucking incredible

FrenchSparkleParty: Bonne nuit

Rowlet: (´〜`*) zzz


Run™: Ashido it is currently four in the morning could this not wait until later? We have a practical heroics class today!!

Xenomorph: Iida ily honey & ur so plus ultra valid but

Xenomorph: @ everyone (I'm sorry u two sweeties I promise this is the last one)

FrenchSparkleParty: Vous ne survivrez pas la nuit.

Xenomorph: Threatening! I'm going to pretend I don't understand ;*

Xenomorph: I FOUND



Run™: I'm going back to sleep.

Xenomorph: god ur so valid??

Whomst: W A I T W H A T

Xenomorph: YEAH BITCH

Whomst: OH SHIT!



Cutieshima: lmao yeah bakubro

Bakuslay: you're in here too shut the fuck up eijirou

DeezWatts: lmao oOF

BandaidArms: I can't believe bakubro did this to his bakuboyfriend

Bakuslay: you're next fucker

BandaidArms: hot tbh

Whomst: bakusquad just all lowkey gay for eachother huh

DeezWatts: lowkey tho no homo

Xenomorph: no hetero?

BandaidArms: yeah bro

Cutieshima: what the FRICK is up bro?

BandaidArms: bro your smile is brighter than my future

Cutieshima: bro???

DeezWatts: bro, you're so strong and manly you could swoop me off my feet anyday bro,,

Cutieshima: omg,,, bro,,,,,,

Xenomorph: bro your personality is so wonderful and blessed I wish I could protect it forever

Cutieshima: b   r o

Bakuslay: you're fucking ripped bro

Cutieshima: B RO!!!!!!!

Whomst: kfbsksn nvm

Whomst: they're all just gay for eijirou~


Whomst: you're so right izuku omg

Bakuslay: my boyfriend is fucking incredible fuck all of you go back to your bullshit conversation about teachers

Pure: we're just complimenting him kacchan :)!!

Bakuslay: yeah and he fucking deserves it

Bakuslay: but mina was excited to share shit too

Xenomorph: omg bro,, , , , , ,

DeezWatts: he c A R E S !

BandaidArms: bros pinch me


DeezWatts: well we're not dreaming babe

BandaidArms: b a b e holy shit

Xenomorph: I'm crying, truly an incredible day

Bakuslay: of course I fucking care

Pure: a w www kacchan!

Bakuslay: fuck off izuku



Murkrow: what a mad banquet of darkness…

Tentacruel: babe.

Murkrow: it's witching hour

Tentacruel: that was an hour ago

Murkrow: time is fake, it's always witching hour.

Xenomorph: u kno seeing u two interact radiates its own rlly weird dark but pure energy

DeezWatts: pastel goth energy

Xenomorph: yeah but neither are pastel goth >:/

Tentacruel: just show your decade old receipts and be done with it you homestuck reboot

Xenomorph: >:0 the audacity of this bitch!

Cutieshima: he's kinda right bro

Xenomorph: > :0 the audacity of this bitch!!

DeezWatts: bro he totally is

Xenomorph: >:0 TH3 4UD4C1TY OF TH1S B1TCH!!!

Bakuslay: perish.

Xenomorph: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked rn????

Bakuslay: then show your fucking logs oh my fucking shit mina

Xenomorph: lmaooo alright alright calm ur bakutiddies bakubabe

Bakuslay: every single part of you is dead to me

Bakuslay: every last atom

Xenomorph: lmao ily2 bro

Xenomorph: anyways

[ Xenomorph has sent chat log bookmark: Enter Aizawa ]

Chapter Text

Hey guys little update from chapter 33!! Unfortunately articles 11 and 13 were approved but still need to pass voting so we'll see how that goes :'') I'll try and keep you guys updated but I just heard the news so heres to hoping things work out!




Chapter Text


Nyoom: I would like u all to know

Nyoom: that our dearest Father shall be seeing Yet Another MeeMee soon

Nyoom: To Welcome our newest classmate :)

SoundSlut: I want him to crush my windpipe.

Nyoom: not even one second and you're being gay on main oh my god hizashi

SoundSlut: I want him to supplex me, flip my ass around, and crush my weak fragile gay head like a melon between his thighs

SoundSlut: I would thank him every day for the rest of my very brief life and then all of my afterlife

SoundSlut: I would go straight to the most peaceful state of my life

SoundSlut: I could be burning in hell for all of my many,,, m a n y sins but honestly

SoundSlut: honestly I'd be so happy if I just got crushed by his thighs

SoundSlut: oh G o d Tensei,,, Tensei do you think he can crush a melon between his thighs??

SoundSlut: I wish I was that melon,,,

Nyoom: listen, Hizashi, gay mood, but omg

SoundSlut: Tensei he decked me, my standard bar is so low but he is vaulting,,,

Nyoom: he looks like he got dragged out of a dumpster fire and tried to climb back in

SoundSlut: hot,,,

Nyoom: sometimes I worry about you :/

Rule34: I worry about him all the time sweetheart it's okay

Rule34: Also do you want me to add shouuttaaaaa

SoundSlut: is that his name???? I couldn't hear the announcer tbh I was too busy crying

SoundSlut: it's perfect,,

Rule34: OMG You're so whipped???

SoundSlut: I will not be kinkshamed by the girl trying to be an 18+ Hero

Rule34: Teach wouldn't let me so now I'm just 'Midnight the somnambulist hero’ borrrriinnnngggggggg!!!!!!!!

Rule34: When I get my license and can legally do what I want with my costume and brand it's over for you fuckers.

Nyoom: can't relate

Rule34: Honey if you think someone doesn't want to have some fun in that armour you are incorrect...

Nyoom: omg I meant about changing my brand nemuri bls no I don't need this in my life

SoundSlut: the only man tensei falls for is sonic

Nyoom: I would not fuck sonic

Nyoom: I am sonic

Nyoom: but knuckles,,,,,

SoundSlut: You know?? You fucking know??? I was joking!! I was joking about wanting to fuck them Tensei!!!!!! I don't want this!!!!!!!!!!!! I never needed this information!!!!!!!!!!!!! One day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One day I'm going to get in trouble for you being thirsty for a fictional echidna and no God, Goddess, Deity– or attractive hot boy with long black hair and eyebags so fucking deep they could rival the Mariana Trench– will ever save you.

Nyoom: that's oddly specific hizashi

Nyoom: like ur planning on making a move or keeping in contact with him

SoundSlut: Tensei, sweetheart, love of my life, darling, sugarplum, bro of my soul

Rule34: Gay

SoundSlut: he punched me in the face and my soul felt whole

Rule34: Gay.

SoundSlut: if I don't marry this boy, I will have failed in life

Rule34: I forced my way into our friendship it was beautiful

Nyoom: you sat down next to him everyday and shit talked people until he started laughing

Rule34: Yes but the starstruck expression that graced Hizashi’s face was worth millions of whole USA American Dollars

SoundSlut: honestly, nem, honey, I might need to steal the bff place from you

SoundSlut: I might be falling hard & fast for his ass but

SoundSlut: I'm going to love & support him forever

SoundSlut: and if forever is just till the end of school so be it but damn bitch,,, , , we really be living like this?

Rule34: Honestly that's so valid of you and I've basically adopted him so go ahead honey?

SoundSlut: im gonna befriend the FUCK outta that!!!!!!

Rule34: Oh I should probably add him shouldn't I :P

SoundSlut: wait he'll see my thirst

Rule34: Bold of u 2 assume shouta is bothered enough to scroll up ;/

SoundSlut: God you're so right nem

SoundSlut: he's perfect fjdsbksbsks

Nyoom: bro ily but

Nyoom: if you don't want him to see u being gay on main then writing that isn't gonna help fkdhks

SoundSlut: God you're so right ten

Nyoom: lmao ofc

Nyoom: also who wants to hear about my brother

SoundSlut: nem bls god add him– just fuckInG aDD hiM

Nyoom: lmAO RUDE

SoundSlut: Tensei you've talked about Tenya over 10 times already

SoundSlut: School hasn't even started yet

Nyoom: I could say the same for u about a certain someone

SoundSlut: l I  S T E N

Rule34 has added Aizawa to the chat!

Aizawa: oh no

SoundSlut: Oh Yeah!!!!!!!!

Aizawa: no

SoundSlut:  ;(

Aizawa: bye

Rule34: Shouta be nice to your classmates sweetie

Aizawa: I don't know you

Rule34: :Y

Aizawa: what the fuck is that

Nyoom: Hello Aizawa!! I'm so sorry!

Aizawa: apology denied why am I in hell

Aizawa: it's because of the cat isn't it

Nyoom: wait what

SoundSlut: wrow

Rule34: Shouta that name won't do~

Aizawa: you're dead to me.

Rule34: Why am I being oofed by my own little brother this is incredibly rude

Aizawa: how do I leave

Rule34 has changed Aizawa 's name to Tipex

Tipex: weak.

Rule34: not my best work but it'll do ;(

BloodBender is no longer idle

BloodBender: you all realise you're the only ones in this group chat because everyone is just terrified of your conversations and the energy it radiates?

Tipex: Gary…

SoundSlut: That's just Gary!!

SoundSlut: o h,,,,,

Tipex: oh

Rule34: What

Rule34: ANYWAY

Rule34: Kan!!!! Sweeettiieeeee how u BEEN?!

BloodBender: fine

BloodBender: why are you in this group chat?

Rule34: BC I'm hip w/ the kids

Nyoom: she locked her account in

Rule34: Hush u

Nyoom: she doesn't know what she's doing 89% of the time

Rule34: actually

Rule34: 69%

Nyoom: nice

SoundSlut: nice

Tipex: hate it

BloodBender: ……………………………

BloodBender: Dad™'s gonna eat you alive

Tipex: I'd be fine with it if I was dead.

BloodBender: fair.

Cryptid: Children!!

Tipex: what the fuck

Cryptid: Language young Aizawa :^)

Tipex: where did he come from

SoundSlut: it be like that sometimes!!

Nyoom: dad I have a meme to share with the class!! :)

Cryptid: Is it roundabout?

Nyoom: n,,,,,no,,,,,



Cryptid: Sonic running in the 90s.

Nyoom: d a d ; (

Tipex: wow general ed was more organised than this

BloodBender: yeah

BloodBender: I wouldn't doubt it.

SoundSlut: so Aizawa

Tipex: no

SoundSlut: hypothetically

Tipex: no

SoundSlut: if there was a melon between your thighs

Nyoom: oh my fucking god

Rule34: I'm fucking snorting

BloodBender: hate it

BloodBender is now idle

SoundSlut: roughly headshaped for contextual reason y'know?


Tipex: no,,?

SoundSlut: would you be able to crush it with your thighs


SoundSlut: please it's a simple question

Nyoom: you don't need to answer if you don't want to

Nyoom: don't let them peer pressure you Aizawa!

Rule34: Come on Shouta answer the poor boy

SoundSlut: it's a valid strength based question!!!!

Nyoom: sure


Tipex: yes?

SoundSlut: F       u      C     K !!!!!!!!!!

Tipex: ???

SoundSlut: hey do you wanna spar bro

SoundSlut: you best me in the sports festival and I want a rematch!!!!! >B)

Tipex: just because you sent that particular emoji, sure

SoundSlut: >B)

Tipex: you are a glutton for punishment.

Rule34: That's masochism baby!

Tipex: thanks I hate it.

Nyoom: He memes!!!!!!! Father he m e m e s !

Cryptid: Bonding is very important for a class :^)

Tipex: Sir, do you know, what worries me most about you?

Cryptid: No!! What is it?

Tipex: you didn't confirm or deny if you'd eat us alive and or dead :/

Cryptid: :^)

Nyoom: father, ,,  ,, why

Rule34: Papa's into vore kiddos!

Cryptid: >:^(

Rule34: Papa's not into vore?

Cryptid: :^)

SoundSlut: why did that reassure me so much?

Nyoom: that's teach for u

Tipex: I won the sport's festival for this?

SoundSlut: yes, ily

Rule34: Smooth.

Nyoom: what a play

SoundSlut: sometimes it be like that!! You gotta show love for ur bros d a m n ! ! !

Tipex: I'm taking a nap

SoundSlut: buT SPARRING!!!!!!!

Tipex: nap.

Chapter Text

[ Aizawa Tossing Yamada Counter Broke channel ]

BloodBender: I just watched Aizawa throw Yamada across the training field and I have never felt such a duality of emotions

Nyoom: lol nice

Nyoom: wait why are they sparring school is done for today

BloodBender: Aizawa said something about Yamada being ‘about as sturdy as a snowflake’ and dragged him to the sparring grounds

Nyoom: oof

Nyoom: but your Emotions,,

Nyoom: Bro what did u feel?

BloodBender: Intense satisfaction but also Mild Discomfort because Yamada enjoyed it way too much

SoundSlut: don't kinkshame me Kan

Tipex: get off your phone we're working on hand to hand not thumb maneuvers

SoundSlut: aaaAAAAAA plEaaasseee aizawa I'm dying over here we've been training for h o u r s

SoundSlut: I've got to have gotten a little better by now ;(

Tipex: the only thing good about your melee style is your footwork

SoundSlut: O O F

Tipex: fifteen minute break and then we're sparring again

SoundSlut: Y e  s S i r

Rule34: Y'all are into some kinky shit

Tipex: Nem I will physically fight you

Rule34: How long can you hold your breath~

Tipex: more like how long can I keep my eyes open

Rule34: Pocket sand is your greatest weakness Shouta

Tipex: and a straight woman is yours where are we going here

Rule34: We should spar again sometime

Rule34: With your Kinky Scarf

Tipex: No

SoundSlut: lmAO HIS WHAT

Nyoom: the thing I ordered for him for his birthday u fool

SoundSlut: ?????????????

Nyoom: Maijima's capture weapon design!!

Tipex: wow I hate it

Nyoom: b r o ; (

SoundSlut: A I Z A W A  W H A T S T H E  K I N K Y S C A R F ?

Tipex: tell you what, I'll grab it from the lockers and I'll demonstrate before training

Nyoom: kinky

Tipex: I will throw you from the top of UA

Rule34: Maybe that's his kink

Nyoom: ;)c

Tipex: horrible

Nyoom: toss me daddy~

Tipex: horrible.

Nyoom: ⒹⒶⒹⒹⓎ~~~

Tipex: one day you're going to slip up and your brother will see you being cursed and then this will be your problem to deal with not mine.

Nyoom: idk bro sounds like you're planning on sticking around

Nyoom: admit it we're growing on yoouuu~

Tipex: like a fungus.

SoundSlut: then it's a good thing that everyone calls me a fungi ;))))))

Tipex: Gods I despise you


[ Direct message – Nyoom to SoundSlut ]

Nyoom: U ever gonna tell aizawa how gay u are for him?

SoundSlut hfksbskdhsjabdam nNO!!!

SoundSlut: I don't even know if he's g AY

Nyoom: Does he know ur bi?

SoundSlut: uhhhhh

SoundSlut: oh fuckles I haven't mentioned it to him,,,

SoundSlut: dskshs what if he think I'm making fun of gay ppl with all the jokes ivE MADE TENSEI



Nyoom: Hizashi,,, ,,  , ,

SoundSlut: then he'll never see me as boyfriend material even i f he's g ay,,,

Nyoom: hizashi no one who knows you thinks you're straight

SoundSlut: the only gay person I make fun of is myself ;(

Nyoom: hizashi oh my god

SoundSlut: and u & nemuri but that's besides the point,,,

Nyoom: Hizashi you're stressing too much omg

Nyoom: should I drag nemuri in here so we can talk ab this like the responsible teens we are?

SoundSlut: she doesn't need to see my shame jhfrjbdks

Nyoom: you're such a fool omg,,

Nyoom: okay so what if I mention wanting a bf and we'll see where that goes reaction wise & so u can feel all cosy n shit about coming out to him

SoundSlut: kfhdksja don't out urself for me I thought he knEW

Nyoom: its bc you're trying not to show how gay you are for him so you just never talk about it kfgsks

SoundSlut: fuck you're right,,,,,,

SoundSlut: I haven't been that gay on main have I,,,

Nyoom: I mean during the sport's festival there was the:

" Screm: Yo did u see him,, he just punched me in the face,,

Zoom: yh u ok???

Screm: rlly gay,, pls send backup"

Nyoom: thing that you did

SoundSlut: I,,  , ,, I m eAN

Nyoom: exactly bro

Nyoom: look he's not gonna be an asshole

Nyoom: we both know him and that ain't Aizawa

SoundSlut: i gueSs

Nyoom: also I just want u two to kiss already bc there's such intense tension and it's infuriating

SoundSlut: te NS EI

Nyoom: lol

Nyoom: wait

Nyoom: tenya is throwing a lil hissy fit one moment

Nyoom is now idle

SoundSlut: leaving me alone in my time of need for ur brother smh tensei ;(

SoundSlut: not rlly u feed that baby

SoundSlut: tell him I love him

SoundSlut: he's better than u

SoundSlut: I'm spamming u because I'm a good friend


[ Aizawa Tossing Yamada Counter Broke channel ]

Tipex: Yamada your break is over

SoundSlut: w aaaaaaaittt n o blease,,,,,,,,,

SoundSlut: I can't believe tensei Abandoned me when I needed him ;(

Tipex: were you trying to get him to bust you out of sparring?

SoundSlut: n,,n,o,,, , ,

Tipex: sounds fake but okay.

Tipex: anyway I've got my scarf so we can spar whenever you have your breath back

SoundSlut: but bro what if ur the one taking it away ;)

Tipex: you're insufferable

Rule34: O o f , , ,,

Nyoom is no longer idle

Nyoom: SO



Rule34: Tensei he's like two??



SoundSlut: come get y'all juice,,,,,,,,,,,

Tipex: I will rip that bottle from your hands

SoundSlut: it's my microphone

SoundSlut: I am announcing the Winner™

SoundSlut: it's Tenya

SoundSlut: Tenya Decked Tensei With His Juice


Tipex: fucking superb you funky little baby.

Nyoom: DON'T SIDE WITH HIM!!!!! THIS IS BETRAYAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tipex: He doesn't astrally project himself through an entire supermarket he's never been to before to find the juice section in under a minute



Tipex: Iida I definitely have

Nyoom: NA N I

Tipex: Iida the fuck do you think we do when we babysit him and need something

Nyoom: one of y'all doesn't just stay at home with him??

SoundSlut: hur dur I’m Aizawa hur dur

SoundSlut: hur dur “Logically it's faster for us with two people, and that way there's a chance he'll tire himself out and I can take a nap” hur dur

Tipex: I will let Iida jr drag your gangly ass across the floor with his quirk don't test me Yamada

SoundSlut: do it coward.

Nyoom: iida jr lmao how many times have I told u to call me tensei

SoundSlut: not as many times as I've told him to call me Hizashi ;(

Rule34: shouta, here on main for only calling people by their family names

SoundSlut: he literally calls you nem!!!!

SoundSlut: that's a given name and a nickname!!!

Rule34: maybe one day, ,, you'll be like that

Nyoom: b r o

Nyoom: that's s/o goals

Nyoom: get me a guy, gal or nb pal who can do both,,,

Nyoom: give me 50 nicknames or whip out a full name

Tipex: I'm not dating nemuri

Nyoom: lmao I know

Rule34: It's for several reasons & the biggest reason is that you're like a brother to me

Tipex: another one being: I don't trust like that

SoundSlut: u don't trust like w hat

Tipex: I don't trust nemuri w/ half the shit I do

Rule34: Lmao our dms say otherwise

BloodBender: That sounds about 90% worse than you probably wanted it to.

Rule34: You're right but I can't take it back now

Tipex: you totally can

Rule34: our dms are me laughing @ him

Nyoom: lmao that's my dms with hizashi

SoundSlut: ;;;;((((((

Tipex: :/

Chapter Text

[ Direct message – Tipex to Rule34 ]

Tipex: hm

Rule34: Hm?

Tipex: hm

Rule34: aren't you in detention right now shouta?

Tipex: mhm

Rule34: :0

Rule34: naughty boy!!

Tipex: it's fine I finished my work already

Tipex: I only got it for falling asleep in class anyway

Rule34: aw look at you on top of shit

Tipex: didn't get into heroics for nothing

Rule34: that's true

Tipex: mm

Rule34: mm!!


Tipex: nemuri,,

Rule34: hm?

Tipex: can I ask you something?

Tipex: wow this is really stupid

Rule34: awwww Shouta it's okay you can ask me anything ;)

Tipex: I'm gay

Rule34: we been knew sweetie

Tipex: yeah i know I told you like straight away

Rule34: boom! No foreplay

Tipex: nemuri please

Rule34: alright alright I'll bite, what is it?

Tipex: so

Tipex: you're a semi accomplished gay right

Rule34: I mean I guess

Rule34: I've had enough experiences

Rule34: my dumb ass, yelling @ everyone I see: hello you are CUTE

Rule34: is it boy trouble because I've been there hun

Tipex: I

Tipex: I guess????

Tipex: so fuckin when

Tipex: when you really like someone how does that feel

Rule34: omg

Tipex: don't make this into a big deal this might be the only time I ever bring up relationships around you ever again

Rule34: omg

Tipex: listen I just want to know how you're supposed to tell if it's just a passing thing or a 'oh fuck’ thing

Rule34: Shouta do you have a crush

Tipex: that's what I'm trying to figure out help me out here nemuri

Rule34: omg omg omg okay

Rule34: first off

Rule34: i love u

Tipex: disgusting, carry on

Rule34: lmao

Rule34: second

Rule34: is this your first time feeling this kinda thing?

Tipex: haha fun fact if I respond yes will you physically fight me

Rule34: no wtf that's just rude

Rule34: everyone's got their own pace

Tipex: cool

Tipex: then yeah I guess

Rule34: so like

Rule34: no random sappy baby crushes??

Tipex: absolutely horrible phrasing

Tipex: but no I didn't

Tipex: I didn't get those.

Rule34: understandable I married half my class

Tipex: somehow, unsurprising

Rule34: rip relationship with Aika u were the light of my 3rd grade life ;(

Rule34: anyway

Rule34: we gonna talk about this irl so we don't have miscommunication but ilysm and you're so valid and I am busting the fattest quake rn

Tipex: I don't know what that means and at this point I'm too afraid to find out :)

Rule34: lmaooo

Rule34: u gonna come to the café with ten and hizashi too?

Tipex: No, detention went over and I don't want you guys to wait up

Tipex: plus I've gotta figure out,, this

Tipex: iida should already be out for sure

Rule34: bb how many times has he said to call him Tensei ;(

Tipex: fine , tensei is probably already out

Tipex: I'm just gonna leave school now so just call me or something I'll be embarrassed on the train instead

Rule34: fuckin nice


[ Direct message – Rule34 to Nyoom ]

Rule34: I'm crying ten

Rule34: it happened

Rule34: they're so dumb

Nyoom: biggest, fattest, longest mood

Nyoom: blease they're so oblivious

Rule34: I'm going to die here, crying over their dumb asses

Nyoom: I didn't even think Aizawa would like Hizashi like that for a hot sec and then we sat in on that one training session and I saw how wrong I truly was

Rule34: he blushes so much I'm so mad you got him that capture weapon he hides his face in it so often

Nyoom: yeah but have you seen the endeared look on Hizashi's face when he does

Rule34: that shit hurted

Nyoom: I'm going to perish

Rule34: we all die you either kill yourself or get killed by your oblivious friends trying their best while also doing their worst

Rule34: also he called u tensei in dms uwu

Nyoom: ily nem ur a real G

Rule34: thanks can you buy me food

Nyoom: ofc we're literally gonna be at a café just choose smthn

Rule34: marry me tho

Nyoom: u know what if we were into each other we'd be the strongest power couple of this whole school

Rule34: Ur so fucking right omg

Rule34: it's okay at least maizawa will be a power couple

Nyoom: hopefully

Rule34: bold of u to assume I will not lock them in a closet at the next party they drag each other to

Nyoom: u say they but we all know u mean us dragging them

Rule34: shhh ;)

Nyoom: where even is Aizawa anyway I thought we were going to the café all together?

Rule34: boyyy u know he got detention in English wtf

Nyoom: wait rlly omg

Nyoom: I thought hizashi bailed him out

Rule34: nah but a bitch definitely tried his best tho

Nyoom: how did that go

Rule34: oh u know

Rule34: the usual gay shit

Rule34: teach even looked like they knew what was going on I'm crying

Nyoom: if we lived in an anime this would be the most frustrating romance plot of all time and I would personally throw the person writing it

Nyoom: two (2) oblivious fools tango around each other in a circle of gay desperation pretending it's Not Gay Desperation

Rule34: stop lying to yourself we've all seen Hizashi thirst he knows what it is

Nyoom: oh yeah fuck one moment I gotta ask him why the fucc he so gay rn

Rule34: you're not gonna get a straight answer

Nyoom: haha nice

Nyoom: but yeah that's the point ;)

Rule34: u go bb I gotta talk to shouta he was getting out of detention I think he's on his way back

Nyoom: ily bitch

Rule34: I ain't never gonna stop lovin u bitch


[ Direct message – Nyoom to SoundSlut ]

Nyoom: y o bro we still meetin up for that café shit?

SoundSlut: y e a a a  ah b o o o y y y

SoundSlut: I couldn't get Aizawa out of detention ;((

Nyoom: big oof, nemuri told me

SoundSlut: oh fugg did she?

Nyoom: lmao fugg

Nyoom: also y eah but she didn't say what happened

Nyoom: but apparently teach looks onto ur gay shit bro

SoundSlut: h,,,

SoundSlut: don't @ me like that,, @ all of y'all

Nyoom: bro it's okay you know teach is chill

SoundSlut: oh yeah no I'm not mad ab that

SoundSlut: teach even knows I'm bi hhhfjdjsj

SoundSlut: wack,, lov that american b

Nyoom: I can't understand their accent sometimes

SoundSlut: that's when they're rlly excited tho

Nyoom: ur right I'm a fool

Nyoom: anyway

SoundSlut: oh no

Nyoom: when did ur crush get so strong bro omg

SoundSlut: listen,,

SoundSlut: it wasnt that b a d at first I thought it was just one of those 'oh please crush me under your boot thanks’ things

Nyoom: but?

SoundSlut: but then I went to his house

Nyoom: that's gay

SoundSlut: and he's mister super serious energy saver so I wasn't expecting much but

SoundSlut: he put a kitty clip in his hair and I have never fallen so hard in such a quick moment

Nyoom: lmao rip it's okay bro

Nyoom: I've got your back w/ this

Nyoom: u and Aizawa is a cute look

SoundSlut: hfjkshsjswdksbsksnvsksm

Chapter Text

[ Direct message – Rule34 to Tipex ]

Rule34: s o after our talk have u figured shit out now you're home

Tipex: I have been staring at my ceiling for half an hour.

Rule34: fksbsksbs shouta omg

Tipex: this might be a problem

Rule34: do

Rule34: do you have a crush

Tipex: nemuri this might be a problem

Rule34: omg you've got a crush

Tipex: how am I supposed to deal with this

Rule34: Aizawa Shouta has a fucking crush!!!

Tipex: I have decided to hand what's left of my soul to the void in response

Rule34: wait nooo save that for ur crush

Tipex: this is so problematic

Tipex: I have studies to get done I don't need this in my life

Tipex: this is rude

Rule34: are

Rule34: are you calling crushes rude rn?

Tipex: I'm calling crushes and his stupid face rude

Tipex: well in the light of this revelation there's really only one thing I can do

Rule34: hm?

Tipex: yep.


[ Big YEETIES my BOIS channel ]

Tipex is no longer idle

SoundSlut: Eraser!!! How are you?

Tipex: I'm gay and crave death

SoundSlut: O          H , , , , ,,  , , , , , ,,,

SoundSlut: PHAT MOOD OP ! ! !

Rule34: Shouta omg


[ Direct message – Rule34 to Tipex ]

Tipex: hm

Rule34: I'm cackling!!!! Again!!!!

Rule34: Boom! No foreplay.

Tipex: I hate you

Rule34: but you looovvveee someone eeelllsssseeeeeee

Tipex: I'm never trusting you with anything again

Rule34: <33333333


Tipex: <3

Rule34: now it's time for me to guess and assume at who u like

Tipex: nvm hate u bye nem </3

Rule34: ;))))))


[ Big YEETIES my BOIS channel ]

Nyoom: lmao we a gay squad now!!

Rule34: four gays, 3 chilling in a café, no feet apart bc it's Hella packed

Rule34: hizashi sweetie u are practically sitting on tenseis lap

SoundSlut: it be like that!

SoundSlut: I want my cheese sticks but I also want to chill with my bro

Nyoom: our dms aren't chill


Tipex: traitor accusations running rampant today huh

SoundSlut: well Mr Energy Saver I am Very Cautious and r/IAmVerySmart

Tipex: Understandable.

SoundSlut: besides ur the traitor here u didn't come to the café ;(

Tipex: I had detention

SoundSlut: yeah but after!!!!! We could've waited bro!!!!!!!!!

Tipex: why

SoundSlut: bc!!

SoundSlut: we asked you to come if u wanted!!!

Tipex: why though

SoundSlut: because you're our bro and we love u!!!

Nyoom: so smooth

Tipex: ew

Tipex: emotions

SoundSlut: it be like that Aizawa ;(

Tipex: Shouta

SoundSlut: hm????

Tipex: Shouta is fine

SoundSlut: oh FUCK!

Nyoom: eyes emoji tbh

Rule34: mood

Tipex: don't make me regret that,,,

SoundSlut: Kzhfksbdkdhsks okAY!!

SoundSlut: well then you have to call me hizashi!

Tipex: a h

Tipex: you are motherfucker?

Nyoom: l   o l

SoundSlut: shouttaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tipex: sure I can do that hizashi.

SoundSlut: fuck yeah!!!!!!!

Nyoom: does this mean ur calling me tensei now

Tipex: fuck it sure you can all call me Shouta and I'll use given names is that a deal



Tipex: h

Tipex: okay,,


[ Direct message – SoundSlut to Nyoom ]

SoundSlut: TENSEI

SoundSlut: HOLY

SoundSlut: FUCK!!!

Nyoom: there aren't enough painkillers in the world to prep me for what I'm about to experience


Nyoom: feels about right

SoundSlut: I'm crying this is the only thing I've needed in years I'm going to have a stroke

Nyoom: you okay there b

SoundSlut: G o d s aM I??????


Nyoom: watch him keep them for years

SoundSlut: that would be S O G AY

SoundSlut: THaTs the D R E AM

SoundSlut: I'm gonna have a radio station just to be fucking gay on holy fucking shit

Nyoom: that’s gay Hizashi

SoundSlut: god you're so right I already know three songs I want on the mixtape

Nyoom: holy shit this is fuckin

Nyoom: bro,,,

SoundSlut: please don't @ me I'm living,,,,,,, let me have it,,,  , ,,,, , , , ,


[ Direct message – Rule34 to Tipex ]

Rule34: so hizashi huh

Tipex: shut the fuck up

Rule34: interesting choice

Tipex: shut the fuck up

Rule34: I think he was into you punching him

Tipex: you think I don't know this, you guys aren't subtle at all, in main, all the time, calling him out, I'm just trying to train, sometimes that includes throwing him

Rule34: and sometimes that includes him  busting the fattest nut

Tipex: thanks I hate you :)

Rule34: ily2 bb ur doin amazing

Tipex: horrific

Tipex: the thing is fuckin

Tipex: okay

Tipex: this is so problematic

Rule34: why???

Tipex: I made him buff

Rule34: dksgsksjslshdja whAT

Tipex: because he's been training with me

Tipex: he's not

Tipex: a twink

Rule34: you changed a man's whole identity with your gay,,,,,,,,,

Tipex: it was for hero work but go off,,

Rule34: I  s u r e  w i l l !  ! !

Tipex: I wasn't ready I forgot muscles develop on people when they actually do weights and have a training schedule oh no

Tipex: hero lessons and my weird training schedule made him buff and I am only gayer.

Rule34: i love u,,,,

Rule34: so fuckin much,,,??

Rule34: also how buff are we talking excuse me a girl needs details

Tipex: he's a twunk and nobody knows it,,

Rule34: how buff are we talking you can't abandon me like this a girl needs to know, damn

Tipex: he can fucking deck me

Rule34: oh shit,,, y'all making BOUNDS in progress,,,,, , ,

Tipex: can't wait to cry on leg day :),,,,,,


Tipex: liking him wasn't on the agenda for getting into heroics shut u p

Rule34: even ur brain knew before u

Rule34: him: I'm gonna give u a tacky American horror film name bc it sounds like your quirk

Rule34: you, less of an intellectual than him: yeah sure I'll go for that then :/

Rule34: Me and Tensei, sophisticated gays: boy,,,,

Tipex: what does Iida have to do with it

Rule34: ah ah

Rule34: you said you'd call him Tensei you know how he insists bb

Tipex: :/

Rule34: Shouta

Tipex: f I n E

Tipex: what does Tensei have to do with it

Rule34: nice also lol I'm not saying

Tipex: this is homophobia

Rule34: no u

Tipex: oh fugg

Rule34: f

Rule34: fugg?

Tipex: gotta blast

Chapter Text

[ SoundSlut has changed the chat name to YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN ]



SoundSlut: @ Tipex

SoundSlut: @Tipex

SoundSlut: @ Tipex

SoundSlut: @ Tipex

SoundSlut: @ Tipex

Tipex: what the FUCK is up Hizashi



Tipex: w

Tipex: why?????

SoundSlut: w

SoundSlut: wHY???

SoundSlut: W H Y ? ? ! ? ! !

SoundSlut: BITCH ITS UR B I R T H D A Y ! ?

Tipex: it is?

Tipex: oh shit,,


Tipex: maybe so

Nyoom: bro………….

Tipex: shut up sonic

Nyoom: jfhdkKDBSKSVSMA

Tipex: legally that's your name now

Nyoom: actually the heroics department said I wasn't allowed to go by sonic bc it was both copyright and someone else was already trying

Nyoom: which I think is quite frankly, rude beyond all shit

Tipex: that's so sad :/

Nyoom: you guys have to play the sonic x theme at all the important moments of my life okay?

SoundSlut: OF COURSE!!!


Tipex: that sounds like you're trying to throw down with me


Tipex: sure


Tipex: cats


Tipex: ah,, ,

Tipex: is your caps stuck


BloodBender: god you're both insufferable

SoundSlut: No You

BloodBender: I need to set a reminder to never fucking work with any of you ever again as soon as we're graduated

SoundSlut: love finds a way babe it's okay I'll always come back to you uwu

BloodBender: absolutely fucking disgusting you funky sound bitch

SoundSlut: that is sound SLUT to you! >:(

Nyoom: yeah damn get it right

Rule34: so when hizashi tells ppl to call him that kind of shit it's okay, but when i do it it's 'nemuri no, nemuri this is a place of education, nemuri that's kinky’ I see how it is :/

Tipex: nem you were trying to get it on with someone in the upper classes

Rule34: it's education

BloodBender: not the right kind

Nyoom: professor nedzu can see this chat

Cryptid: Bold of you to assume I can stop her.

Rule34: thanks sir!

Rule34: I have gossip material do you wanna meet up for tea and talk shit about my classmates?

Cryptid: Now now Kayama you know I can't do such a thing!

Cryptid: I can however offer some advice to you about their behaviours :^)

Tipex: I have never been so scared in my entire fucking life

Cryptid: :^)

Tipex: thanks i hate it!

Nyoom: how do you even get close with nedzu tf

Rule34: if you have a bargaining chip he's always willing to share tea with sadistic people

Tipex: Gucci

Tipex: hey teach do you wanna see how warm my scarf is

Cryptid: !!!

Cryptid: Of course!

Tipex: haha nice see you suckers

Tipex: this is the au gary foretold

SoundSlut: Gary ;( my g why are you doing this 2 me

Nyoom: bc it be like that

Nyoom: also shouta is this u saying ur a sadist

Tipex: this is me sharing my scarf, and accepting the void

SoundSlut: hot

Tipex: ur insufferable

SoundSlut: I'm sure u can suffer me ;)

Rule34: boi

SoundSlut: he'll suffer me for the cats ;(

Tipex: you're right


[ Direct message – Rule34 to Tipex ]

Rule34: haha he pinned you the other day

Tipex: nemuri

Tipex: shut up

Rule34: how intense was your bottom bitch energy

Tipex: nEMURI

Rule34: bb it's okay you can tell a bitch

Tipex: pls shut up

Rule34: lmfaooooo

Rule34: ily sm but I still can't believe you forgot it was your birthday

Tipex: it hasn't mattered before why would it matter this year

Rule34: aw baby no :(

Rule34: your birthday is always important to us!!!

Tipex: that's platonic

Rule34: ofc we all love u you g iant idiot omg

Rule34: you're our friend and we're not gonna just leave you hanging

Rule34: I'm slapping your present into your hands as soon as I see you sweetie <333

Tipex: hhfjdjbdjsjs fine,,

Rule34: are you gonna be up for doing stuff with the rest of us as well or do you wanna have a Hizashi day and then us later

Tipex: idk

Tipex: I might be really tired, depends on how the day goes

Rule34: that's so valid honey

Rule34: you and hizashi have a cat day to yourselves (;3) and then we can have a chill celebration together over the weekend or something aight?

Tipex: yeah, sounds good


[ Direct message – SoundSlut to Nyoom ]

SoundSlut: 0 800 ARE U SLAPPIN

Nyoom: you? Maybe so, come over and find out


Nyoom: >:(


Nyoom: So? You've done that a million times


Nyoom: omg

Nyoom: you are a lovesick fool

SoundSlut: DON'T @ ME I'M GAY

Nyoom: bitch, big mood but I didn't start crying when I took girls and guys on dates before


Nyoom: uhhh because I wasn't sure if they actually wanted to date me or just get free food because I'm loaded?

SoundSlut: fuck ur so right I'm so sorry ilysm bro

Nyoom: bro it's fine ily2 I just haven't found the right b yet keep yelling ab Shouta it's endearing

SoundSlut: h,,,,

SoundSlut: Tensei he's so GOOD

SoundSlut: he doesn't say shit about my glasses either which is a real fun time

Nyoom: we talked ab this

Nyoom: if anyone comes at you for your glasses nem and I are coming at them for their kneecaps

SoundSlut: yeaH BUT

SoundSlut: HE'S SO GOOD??

Nyoom: explain, reason out this gay



Nyoom: good, do it




Nyoom: ;) I got u bb

SoundSlut: I wish shouta had me ;(

Nyoom: that's gay bro,,,

SoundSlut: I'M gay bro,,,

Chapter Text

[ Direct Message – Nyoom to Rule34 ]

Nyoom: I'm tired of them skirting around each other it's been so long

Nyoom: it feels like it's been three years and we should've graduated by now???

Rule34: god I KNOW they're both so fuckin obvious about it and they still haven't noticed I am so tired,,

Rule34: I'm going to meddle

Nyoom: what

Rule34: I'm going to make them realise their mutual infatuation if it's the last thing I do

Nyoom: if I know anything about Shouta, depending on how you go about this it might just be the last thing u do bb

Rule34: that's a risk I'm willing to take

Nyoom: that's valid I'm w u all the way

Nyoom: o shit sweet flips Hizashi's texting the gc perfect timing

Rule34: time to unleash hell


[ 5 gays chilling in a gc 10 ft apart BC they drove the class away channel ]

SoundSlut: whats up swuts I'm buy pokemon for one good price of my soul

Tipex: I'm far too tired to understand what the fuck that means Hizashi

Nyoom: horrible overpricing op, ur soul worth the world

Tipex: im far too tired to understand what the fuck this all means

Rule34: it means he's gonna build an army of chatots again and no one can stop him

SoundSlut: Shouta built a cat army!!!!!!! I'm allowed to do this!!!!!!!!!!

Rule34: lol shouta did what

Tipex: hey i have a great idea let's not talk about this ever again :)

BloodBender: Aizawa built a Pokémon team of all the cat type Pokémon, got one mew, and named them the commander of his 'legion of toe beans and 3am chaos.’

Rule34: fjdhfjfbjgnfmdbss

Tipex: hey Kan turn on your fucking location

SoundSlut: god I love you so much

Tipex: thanks I'll take that power

SoundSlut: Ur w e l comE h

Rule34: real smooth there baby

Nyoom: rt nem

Rule34: real talk tho love how everyone's started calling me nem bc of shouta I've never been so proud on my whole life, that's my Boy, I'm watching him glow up

Nyoom: real talk tho puberty hit Shouta like a truck

Tipex: I'm right here

Tipex: I can read every word you're saying

Rule34: that's okay I can meddle with you as well

Tipex: what

Nyoom: oh for sure

Tipex: I don't like where this is going

SoundSlut: neither do I and that scares me

Nyoom: Hizashi once fucking spoke Italian and I watched Shouta physically rear back his head and whisper ‘oh god’

Tipex: first of all, fuck you

Tipex: second,

Tipex: I don't have a valid explanation but I need you to pretend I do

Nyoom: ur so right I'm so sorry

SoundSlut: op we both know anyone speaking another language is Hott™

Nyoom: Ur right but I wasn't ready

Rule34: neither was Shouta apparently

Tipex: Thanks! I hate it!

BloodBender: Wait fuck I just processed this, is Yamada out buying pokemon at four fucking am???



Rule34: h

Nyoom: have we ever questioned him before

SoundSlut: Shouta's gonna come with its fine

Tipex: don't go exposing me

Rule34: baby,,

Rule34: what,,,,,

SoundSlut: I'm gonna buy Pokémon and then we're going to find the ugliest place we can to eat shitty take out!!

Tipex: that's my part of the deal

Tipex: I want

Tipex: cheese.

BloodBender: Gods,,,

BloodBender: I'm going back to sleep

Nyoom: valid, sleep well bitch! Love u hoe!

BloodBender: G oodnight Tensei.

Nyoom: lol that's GAY

BloodBender is now idle

Nyoom: anyway what the FUCK guys

Tipex: cheese,,,

SoundSlut: god you're such a gay

SoundSlut: OOPS

SoundSlut: that was meant for dms

Rule34: it wasn't with me tho,,?

Nyoom: or em

Nyoom: *me

SoundSlut: em

Tipex: em

Rule34: em

Rule34: em's a cute name

Nyoom: UR a cute name uwu

Rule34: omg BB,,, u//w//u

SoundSlut: we love one big pile of dumbass gays at 4 am, ,out here,, , ,loving eachother

Rule34: okay nice distraction but who was that text for

SoundSlut: n

SoundSlut: no one

Nyoom: sounds fake but ok

Rule34: okay but fake sounds

Tipex: it was for m e get over yourselves

Tipex: I'm sitting on a ledge and he laughed at me

SoundSlut: there's a bench right HERE u absolute cat gay

Tipex: you're a bench :/

SoundSlut: take a seat b

Tipex: ew

Tipex: gay

Rule34: wtf is happening

Nyoom: everytime something significant happens in this group chat we've jumped like 3 years into the future and I hate it

Nyoom: I didn't survive multiple sports festivals with Shouta's dangerous ass to do this

Rule34: damn,, , , not even my dangerous ass? Tensei I'm offended!

Nyoom: god I'm so fucking sorry ur so right bb

Tipex: Hizashi I waNT cheese let's gO let's go let's go

Tipex: tjavdkanwe that's for dms

Rule34: 4 am is not kind to your dumb gay hands huh?

SoundSlut: excuse u, , I, for one, am VERY smart!

SoundSlut: I'm passing English w distinctions and!! Fuckin,,, uh

SoundSlut: listen I'm passing everything and taking several language classes don't call me Dumb with a B

Tipex: where's the b

SoundSlut: there's a bee?

Tipex: Hizashi let's just

Tipex: pass out on a bench

SoundSlut: what

Tipex: tired

SoundSlut: we were JUST getting chese?????

Rule34: I think the simulation is glitching

Nyoom: it definitely is I'm going to bed gn!! Ily all, look after yourselves and get home you two!!!!

Tipex: thanks d a d

Nyoom: >;( son

SoundSlut: gn tenseiiiii!!! Sleep well and tell ur brother I love him when he wakes up uwu

Nyoom: I can't believe you love my brother more than me,, , , , this is,, , panphobia at its finest,,,,,,

Rule34: no bb he's just cute

Nyoom: god, , , panphobia,, ,  from a pan,, , , this isn't what sonic would've wanted

Tipex: oh my god Tensei go to SLEEP

Nyoom: okay gn ily'all

Nyoom is now idle

Rule34: did he just say ily'all

SoundSlut: yes and I love him too

Tipex: I'm gonna bully everyone into sleeping

Rule34: says u

Tipex: hey

Tipex: I am the nap master

Tipex: the sultan of slumber

Tipex: I'm about to fall off this ledge h

SoundSlut: omg babe

Rule34: w hA T

Tipex: I didn't fall off the ledge :(

SoundSlut: kitten,, , , ,,,,,, , ,

Tipex: god that's so fucking gay also this is my house

SoundSlut: no you!!!

Tipex: yes

Tipex: me

Tipex: my house

Tipex: Hizashi I thought you were good at languages

SoundSlut: shh,uut up energy saver let's get u inside and I'll bring u cheese tomorrow

Tipex: whatever


Tipex is now idle

SoundSlut: he fell

SoundSlut is now idle

Rule34: what the FUCK just happened I'm going to bed


[ Nyoom  has changed the chat name to HEY MAIZAWA WAKE THE FUCK UP ]

Nyoom: I leave to sleep and miss the good content? Homophobic!

Rule34 is no longer idle

Rule34: to be fair I don't actually think any of that was real, I think the world is failing and we're all gonna die :)

BloodBender is no longer idle

BloodBender: Thanks I welcome it.

BloodBender: But also, they made it back last night.

BloodBender: This morning.

BloodBender: Definitely this morning.

BloodBender: They came into school I saw them on the feeds.

Rule34: why were you looking at the feeds

BloodBender: No reason.

Nyoom: your punctuation at 6 am scares me

BloodBender: Good.

Nyoom: :/

Nyoom: I thought you were bae,,,,,,, turns out you're just fam,,,,,

BloodBender: Bruh...

Nyoom: there he is!!!!!!!

Nyoom: anyway

Rule34: how much spam until they wake up

Cryptid: I should think this amount considering they have to be up soon!

Rule34: h I sir have I ever told how much that scares me?

Cryptid: >=^3c

SoundSlut is no longer idle

SoundSlut: thanks!!!!! It'll haunt my dreams!!!!!!


SoundSlut: oh fuck


SoundSlut: do I rlly tho

Nyoom: dumbass gays at 4am confirm?

SoundSlut: dumbass gays at 4am???

Nyoom: yes

SoundSlut: that's me everyday though

Nyoom: fuck

Tipex is no longer idle

Tipex: the answer is yes but it's a horrible question

SoundSlut: babe what

SoundSlut: WAait


Tipex: zashi it's cool

SoundSlut: oh ,, ,

SoundSlut: f uCk okay I thought I messed up

SoundSlut: aha ni,  , c e ,, wait,

SoundSlut has changed their name to Banoodle

SoundSlut has changed Tipex 's name to Shamwow

Banoodle: now we match babe!

Shamwow: well

Shamwow: now not even death can change my name. Look at that. You've made it impervious to damage.  

Banoodle: <3333333

Shamwow: ah

Shamwow: I'm going to be seeing that for a while huh,,

Rule34: aha YEAH you are!

Rule34: GOD I can't believe, , , they've done it, , , ,fuck,,,,

Nyoom: maizawas sweeties we already have bets on the next few years of ur life

Shamwow: what are friends for

Rule34: exactly!

Nyoom: also I guess this means we all gotta change our names for that Good Shit Op

Nyoom: marks this Epic Ga(y)mer Change in our lives

Rule34 has changed their name to Chloroform

Nyoom: guys

Nyoom: I have something to admit as well

Chloroform: no shit?

Banoodle: :000ccccc

Nyoom: I'm ready to take on His title

Nyoom: I wasn't ready before but, , , recently I've been inspired so,, , it's time,,,

Nyoom has changed their name to Sonic

Chloroform: there he is,,, ,my beautiful glistening baby boy!

Sonic: thanks bros uwu

Shamwow: god is dead and we just killed him.

Banoodle: op im at your door right now open up ive come to kiss you on the lips

Shamwow: fuck

Chapter Text

Banoodle: happy weekend kids this is my obligated message of hhhhh my husband is so cute

Fangboi: you're in the teachers channel

Fangboi: and it's not the weekend why would you get my hopes up like this

Banoodle: we're all kids, you never really grow up ;P

Sonic: oddly deep, go off Hizashi

Chloroform: what did Shouta do omg

Banoodle: why do I have to have a reason it's not like,, I constantly cry over his actions??? Rude,,,  ,

Chloroform: wow you're a gay, gay mess

Banoodle: go back to spooning your girlfriends you funky little lesbians

Sonic: he sung didn't he

Banoodle: aha

Banoodle: Y E AH



Sonic: me, hanging w/ kouichi: wow wish that was me

SlipNSlide is no longer idle

SlipNSlide: :(

Sonic: fuck shit you're right

SlipNSlide: <3

Sonic: hhhdbsna <3

SlipNSlide is now idle

Banoodle: and you have the audacity to call me a hopeless gay

Ms.Mime is no longer idle

Ms.Mime: Weellll to be FAIR now Yamada you are a hopeless gay!!!

Banoodle: EMI shut the FUCK up

Ms.Mime: I'd like to see you try and make me loud boy!

Chloroform: wait baby whaT

Chloroform: who the fuck was gonna tell me my girlfriend was in this hell chat :((((

Banoodle: you're LITERALLY in several gcs with her nemuri

Ms.Mime: ;**** <33

Banoodle: wait fuck I gotta snap my man singing, don't think I won't punt u both with my voice later


Banoodle is now idle

Ms.Mime: d ammit I hope he saw UnU

Chloroform: b Abe,,,, ms mime,,,,

HewwoKitty is no longer idle

HewwoKitty: Mr Mime fucks your mom!

Ms.Mime: BABE

Boo: Ms Mime fucks your coworker

McFUCK: H e l l o ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Fangboi: I think this might be hell

Chloroform: awww w w w  w come on now vlaaddd, never had some fun before? ;;;;))))

Fangboi: I should've left UA for good while I had the chance

Ms.Mime: buT yA dIDnT~

Fangboi: clearly a mistake on my behalf

[Are we not fucking addressing the chat logs?? channel ]

Xenomorph: hello????? HeLLO??????? I WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS THE LOGS???

DeezWatts: but mina we're making dumb jokes

Xenomorph: I did not go searching for years into the past to be silenced by your tiktok memes my boy my lad my mcman

Pure: I was concerned you would leave it at my boy

Vulpix: Scared ashido would sound like your dad (all might), izuku?

Pure: all might's not my d a d s h oUTO

Run™: Extreme Doubt

Pure: Tenya!!!!!!!!!!

Vulpix: All Might radiates dad energy Endeavor wishes he could strive for

BandaidArms: to be fair bro, being a better dad than ur now fake dad aint that hard

Vulpix: I appreciate that he's my fake dad now

Murkrow: Of course, we all know who the true father is.

Pure: Aizawa?

Vulpix: Zuko.

Pure: oh,,,

DeezWatts: Who let him watch atla

Run™: ;)

BoomBoomPow: ;)

Cutieshima: ;)

FullfleshAlchemist: ;)

DeezWatts: u know what? Balid

Xenomorph: balid

Cutieshima: balid

BandaidArms: balid

DeezWatts: hey now

Bakuslay: balid

DeezWatts: HEY NOW

Tentacruel: you're an all star?

Xenomorph: start from the beginning you coward

Tentacruel: I was trying to fit the meme but go off I guess

Vulpix: somebody once told me

Pure: it's your power Todoroki!

Vulpix: h

Vulpix: op???

DeezWatts: can

DeezWatts: can we go back him calling zuko his real dad?

Vulpix: I'm zuko and elsa's secret cross-fandom love child it's the only thing that makes sense.

DeezWatts: I think there are other things that make sense Shouto but you know what go off dude go off

Murkrow: the real emo lovechild

Murkrow: make a whole ice castle to isolate yourself in after losing your honour

Run™: What Honour

Vulpix: TENYA

Vulpix: I have been ATTACKED by my BOYFRIEND??????

Pure: he's right

Vulpix: BOTH boyfriends!! Two!!! B o t h my boyfriend's hate me

Bakuslay: I find it fucking hilarious that Izuku, the biggest fuckin hero fanboy ever, is now fucking two legacies

Pure: there is NO FUCK we are TEENAGERS Katsuki

Bakuslay: platonic fuck

Vulpix: how

Bakuslay: when a couple dumb bitches love eachother very much

Run™: I would like to Delete this conversation forever thank you!

DeezWatts: (next)

BoomBoomPow: (bitch)

Cutieshima: Katsuki's right though it's kinda funny!!

Pure: I came here for a civil conversation about shit talking people and now I'm being attacked and I don't think that's very heroic of you guys!!

Bakuslay: you're the biggest hero fanboy and you're dating legacies

Pure: Bold of you to claim I'm the biggest hero fanboy when I have been in your childhood room, Katsuki

Bakuslay: bitch

Vulpix: your dad is all might and you're dating two legacies

Pure: he's not!! My!!!!! D  A D ! ! ! ! !

Run™: He picked you up from the  medical wing

Pure: my mom was busy,,

Murkrow: Isn't he your second emergency contact?

Pure: you betrayed me fumi

Murkrow: My apologies, but it's the truth.

Whomst: don't we all have one of the teachers as an emergency contact??

Pure: y EA h !

Venonat: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


Venonat: yeah

Venonat: so my parents are on my medical contacts not heroes :)

Pure: fuck

Vulpix: one day we'll expose you

Vulpix: all might's secret love child…

Pure: Shouto,,,,,,,,,,

Vulpix: one day

DeezWatts: WAIT

Pure: ?


Whomst: I didn't do it!!

DeezWatts: what???

Whomst: Oh

Whomst: Nevermind :)) what is it?

DeezWatts: how do medical exams work for you

DeezWatts: like if they stick their head in your mouth can they see it?

Whomst: Hey!!! Kaminari!!!!!!!!!!! Why would you make me think about this?????


Whomst: and now u never will

DeezWatts: w a it

Whomst is now idle

DeezWatts: the cryptid of our class

Murkrow: My title is stolen from me

Tentacruel: On the chat it's Rikido, then Kouda

Murkrow: That's because they don't want to see this mess

Tentacruel: You're right

Tentacruel: We should've followed their example

Murkrow: But how else would I get gossip Mezou?

Tentacruel: Hang out in the common room like the rest of us coward

Murkrow: Willingly touch that mad banquet of darkness? No thank you

DeezWatts: is this the void again,,

Murkrow: No

Xenomorph: Idk ab y'all but I went quiet bc our blessed uwu emos started talking

Vulpix: as opposed to general emo nightmares?

Xenomorph: as opposed to you!

Vulpix: offended

Xenomorph: ur welc shouto

Vulpix: :/

Cutieshima: You scared them off!

DeezWatts: back in the void they go,,,

Xenomorph: wait

Xenomorph: jddskskddndjnssnsnsnsnsnsnsnsnmasmsmsm MIC'S PRIVATE SNAP CHAT STORY

BoomBoomPow: he is my daaad (he's my dad!) Woogie woogie woogie!

Space: W H A T

Cutieshima: HELLO?????

Xenomorph: me, snapping my fingers: WHO IS SINGING

Kewwo: It's Aizawa

Space: I have never felt so BLESSED aside from whenever my wonderful girlfriend graces me w her presence?????

FullfleshAlchemist: Kyouka has the volume on full and is headbanging

BoomBoomPow: I wanna be the cocaine ruin your brain vine but for whenever I hear good ass voices

Xenomorph: Op I never thought I would be so excited about a video of a cat purring with Aizawa softly singing in the back but I am and that's how we be livin these days

Cutieshima: mic and eraser are a huge gay goal in my huge gay heart and I want you all to know this about me

BandaidArms: op,,

Xenomorph: literally everyone here is RTing BB

Space: tbh though?!?????! Also a real cute shit: satou and his gf I'm blessed I met them at the store once and never looked back

Kewwo: That's true

Xenomorph: me, sobbing: our entire class is just everyone solidarity and I think that's beautiful

FullfleshAlchemist: UA is acceptance culture?

BoomBoomPow: UA is acceptance culture.

[ UA is please match your costumes properly you absolute heathens culture – B.J. channel ]

Banoodle: Best Jeanist came on this chat to kinkshame our costume designs and then left and I think that's homophobic of him even though I know him well enough to understand he's just tired of our shit

Chloroform: I'm still wildly disappointed he refuses to remove the periods between his initials in the title so I can make nasty jokes ;(

Banoodle: if u can convince him it's urs

Chloroform: interesting idea Hizashi >:) how's running away from shou doing?

Banoodle: horribly he's been sitting on my legs for the past half hour I love him so much

Shamwow is no longer idle

Shamwow: then stop being a trick ass bitch

Banoodle: baaaaaaaaaaaabeeee it was on my PRIVATE account only the kids have that ooonnneeeeeeeeeeeeee

Shamwow: that's already like twenty people too many to have heard what they did

Chloroform: awwww Shouta baby it's finnee it was just some singing

Shamwow: disgusting

Shamwow: I can't let the kids know I have emotions

Chloroform: lmfao

Chloroform: anyway I'm gonna add BJ man back till he gives in

Banoodle: lol

Banoodle: bj man

Chloroform has added Jeggings to the chat! 

Jeggings: Ah,,

Jeggings: No thank you.

Chloroform: wdksbsksma why is ur names jeggings baby

Jeggings: An intern.

Chloroform: understandable anyway!! Take the dots out ur initials

Jeggings: No

Chloroform: b w e a s e

Jeggings: You're getting further and further away from your goal with each word

Chloroform: jfhsksk f iinnneee

Chloroform: I'll get you one day Jeanist!

Banoodle: wack

Jeggings: You sound like a tacky villain

Banoodle: tbh being called Jeanist though

Jeggings: Are

Jeggings: Are you going to try and criticise me

Banoodle: nO,, I'm just saying,,

Shamwow: careful

Banoodle: Imagine choosing the hero name Best Jeanist


Jeggings: Imagine being called 'Present Mic.’

Shamwow: he's got you there,,

Jeggings: You aren't much better, Eraserhead

Shamwow: to be fair on me, hizashi chose it

Chloroform: betraying ur own man

Jeggings: Suddenly it makes sense

Banoodle: OOF

Banoodle: Tsunagu,,, Shouta,,, I thought you were bae,,, , turns out you're not even fam

Jeggings: Bruh.

Jeggings: Have I humoured you enough now?

Jeggings: Can I leave?

Banoodle: I guess ;(

Shamwow: was it that easy to leave this whole time?

Shamwow: all I had to do to be free of hizashi was ask, smh

Banoodle: B A B E ! ! !

Shamwow: I'm joking hizashi

Banoodle: ;(

Shamwow: Anyway, Jeanist

Jeggings: Eraser.

Shamwow: You still free to come in and talk to the kids about utilising costumes in tandem with their quirks?

Jeggings: Of course, have you gotten Nighteye's intern to talk to your student with the invisibility?

Shamwow: Yeah, got that done a while ago. Costumes changed since you last reviewed them

Jeggings: Yours is still the most Horrific

Shamwow: I take that as a compliment

Jeggings: But I understand why it's practical for you.

Shamwow: weird, please go back to insulting it

Jeggings: I intend to.

Jeggings: Anyway, I'll see you and your class soon, get Bakugou to do something about the excessive anger

Shamwow: I've got a few kids talking to counsellors you don't need to worry about it

Jeggings: Comforting to hear. I'll be off then, don't let Midnight add me back for her ludicrous requests again

Chloroform: you're no fun jeanist ;(

[ Jeggings has left the chat ]


Stronft: did serious teaching conversations just take place in this chat?

Fangboi: As surreal as it sounds, I think it did

Sonic: horrifying, we gotta rectify it with memes

Chloroform: good old Tensei

Chloroform: getting the teachers to procrastinate their duties

Sonic: (nice joke we know you would never)

Chloroform: (gotem)

Shamwow: you're all exhausting I'm going to take a nap

Banoodle: right there?

Shamwow: do you have a problem with it

Banoodle: n o n e

Shamwow is now idle 

Ms.Mime: he fell asleep on you didn't he Hizashi

Banoodle: he sure did

HewwoKitty: Blessed content!! Cat naps are the best :33

McFUCK: you radiate huge nepeta energy

HewwoKitty: ;33

McFUCK: aight we're not gonna address this ever again

HewwoKitty: Of course!!

HewwoKitty: Also!! Hizashi please send pictures of your cats (and ur Kitten ;33) to me!!

Ms.Mime: Seconded!

Chloroform: I'm so glad my girlfriends are as invested in this family as I am

Banoodle: damn I'm gonna have to make a list of people who want cat pics

Chloroform: don't make your assistant do it

Banoodle: hey hey hey! I would never!

Banoodle: I take a personal pride in these images

Chloroform: because you're gay and your husband is in half of them?

Banoodle: aha,,,,, Y E A H ! ! !


[Are we not fucking addressing the chat logs?? channel ]

Xenomorph: y'all bless up mic for risking his life and sending us the soft pictures of Mr Aizawa asleep with cats on his chest that we deserve in these trying times

Cutieshima: A true hero,,

Chapter Text

[ Cult of Bakutiddy channel ]

DeezWatts: hhnfnfndns hapy balentines baay

DeezWatts: Oop

DeezWatts: tfw no DM

BandaidArms: who were u even dming babe

DeezWatts: mina 😔

BandaidArms: god that's so valid I need to dm that girl

Xenomorph: first of all how dare you

Cutieshima: everyone fuckin rush minas DMS!!!!!!

Bakuslay: bold of you to assume I haven't already texted her

Cutieshima: omg,, , , Bab,e,,,,

Xenomorph: me, gagging @ all of u couple bitches

Bakuslay: h u h ? What's that Raccoon Eyes?? That feel when no gf??????

Xenomorph: shUT Th e fuCk uP B A K U GO U

DeezWatts: sister snapped??????????

BandaidArms: oh damn there she go……….

Bakuslay: anyway yall wanna go to a restaurant w me

DeezWatts: h

DeezWatts: hewwo???????

BandaidArms: im terrified

Cutieshima: that's my BB

Cutieshima: also a h a yeah valentine's is dumbass!!! Everyone deserves love & respect and Bakugo made me pancakes this morning and I cried for 10 minutes straight but we wannaaaaaa celebrate with u guys???

Cutieshima: valentine's Day but bros?? Bralentines

Xenomorph: sounds like a lingerie store bb

Cutieshima: nice!!

Xenomorph: god ur best boy

DeezWatts: 😔😔😔😔😔

BandaidArms: denki that's the only emoji you've used this whole dman time

Xenomorph: dman

DeezWatts: chat client machine no support my big boy meemus

Bakuslay: Actually, fuck this!

Cutieshima: :((((

Cutieshima: we went to a cafe last time!!!!!!!

BandaidArms: concept: we stay in the dorms & watch shitty Netflix but we all cook w each other in the communal kitchen

Xenomorph: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bakuslay: h

Cutieshima: that sounds cute as fuck my dude

Cutieshima: I'm down to do that!!!

Bakuslay: but can yall even cook though

DeezWatts: first off, you've said y'all twice and ily bakubro for that

Bakuslay: fuck you


Xenomorph: yeah!!!!!! It'll be fun come on!!!!!!!

Bakuslay: aren't the shitty ass izucrew or whatever gonna want to use the kitchen

DeezWatts: I got hitoshi to check in with them uwu

DeezWatts: he said no

DeezWatts: they're going 2 uhhhh I think iida's?

DeezWatts: big 3 gae are being cute and watching movies then Big lesbabes are gonna meet em there after a café date


Bakuslay: are you betraying us for them..?

DeezWatts: h

DeezWatts: hello??

Xenomorph: why do you kno so m u c h,,,,,,

DeezWatts: Bro,, chill!,,!!! You know Hitoshi is like,,  a weird mediator for both our squads he's being chill 👌👌

Cutieshima: understandable have a nice day

Xenomorph: oooOoo tooru told me what they're doing for valentine's we love three beans

BandaidArms: are you gonna tell us then? 👀👀👀

Xenomorph: fkdvjs no my lips r sealed


[ Mission Beat Erasermic Valentine's Is Go -M channel ]

Chloroform: I literally have 2 girlfriends how are we not beating u

Banoodle: maybe because you suck

Ms.Mime: 👀👀👀

Shamwow: you're above that joke emi

Ms.Mime: Am I though???? Am I Eraser????

Shamwow: you know what no

Ms.Mime: hfhhffbndnan fuck u right damn a man got me

HewwoKitty: say it pussy!

Chloroform: bls I'm trynna fight mic man

Banoodle: u can't bitch!!!!! I'm big gae!!

Chloroform: n o , M E

[ Shamwow has moved Chloroform and Banoodle to Baby Jail channel ]

Shamwow: so how is everyone else's hell valentine's going?

HewwoKitty: nemuri's talking a lot of shit but she hasn't moved to fight ur purrecious BB yet ;33

Ms.Mime: lol yeah she's still a stubborn spooned babe

Shamwow: anyone else?

Boo: I'm trying 2 tell if this is a rodeo or not

McFUCK: it can be c/:)

Shamwow: oh gross

Boo: says u bitch?

Shamwow: what's that supposed to mean

Cryptid: :^)

Shamwow: shut the fuck up shut the fuck up sh

HewwoKitty: 👀

Ms.Mime: 👁️👄👁️

Cryptid: What the Fuck

Shamwow: dad swore

📍 Fangboi has pinned a message to the channel!

Cryptid: I am Disgusted I am Revolted I dedicate my Entire Life to our Lord And Saviour Yuuei and This is the thanks I get?

Fangboi: suddenly I hate that

Shamwow: how's your day going Kan?

Fangboi: good we're just not patrolling & taking a break because honestly fuck it

Shamwow: god that's so valid

Fangboi: idk why midnight's trying to turn this into a fight it's just a nice day to be with your partner sometimes

Shamwow: don't even ask anymore

Shamwow: you know for a fact she's been like this since highschool

Shamwow: Mic & I haven't done much aside from just take a different shift of work so we can stay in together, the kids are off being gay and hopefully not doing crime

Fangboi: hopefully?

Shamwow: I would love to be confident in them but anyone would do anything for Eri

Cryptid: Oh, is Eri with them?

Shamwow: she's with the big three

Cryptid: That's good!

Shamwow: Eh

Shamwow: If mirio sticks his ass out a bush and announces the peach is ripe again while while Eri is next to him I'm this (👌) close to just deleting him

Oh?Vacuum? is no longer idle

Cryptid: Are you taking it upon yourself to check how everyone is resting?

Shamwow: Hush

Shamwow: Ishiyama?

PebbleSkip: museum hours

Oh?Vacuum?: They've got a planetarium!!!!!!!!!!

Shamwow: Sweet, enjoy yourselves

PebbleSkip is now idle

Oh?Vacuum?: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^v^ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh?Vacuum? is now idle

Cryptid: surely Yamada is inevitably going to do more than just relax all day for your time together?

Shamwow: I genuinely have no doubts about it.

Shamwow: we have days where we just exist and relax too, it's important to have them, especially with work, but he loves to celebrate

HewwoKitty: He's a very silly kitty,,,

Ms.Mime: he once called himself a city kitty unironically?

Shamwow: I know this and I love him

Ms.Mime: This is why nem never beats u adorable fuckers every year ;(

Shamwow: because I love him?

Ms.Mime: kdbsnnamsdbdn no omg

Ms.Mime: dw hubby you'll understand one day

HewwoKitty: I physically just felt shouta roll his eyes at the screen

Shamwow: :)

HewwoKitty: huh

Cryptid: :^)

Ms.Mime: huh


[ Baby Jail channel ]

Chloroform: okay spill dumbass what are you doing for today

Banoodle: hhnfnfndns a AA a a a

Chloroform: screaming, good, got it




Cryptid: You're both fully employed with at least two jobs each and this is how you act?

Chloroform: absolutely sir?????

Cryptid: Understandable enjoy yourselves I'm going to let you out of baby Jail

Banoodle: thank you uwu

Cryptid: Never do that again.

[ Cryptid has moved Chloroform and Banoodle to Erasermic fucking Won -everyone channel ]


[ Erasermic fucking Won -everyone channel ]

HewwoKitty: have you two calmed down now?

Chloroform: nO

Ms.Mime: damnalam

Chloroform: how the fuck???? How do you do it every year mic???? You've been dating for centuries???? How have you not had repeat dates??????

Banoodle: that's big gae baby!

Oh?Vacuum?: Are you guys ever gonna tell the rest of us what they did?

Banoodle: ;) no

Oh?Vacuum?: This is enbyphobic and I will find out eventually

Shamwow: I'm sure you will don't worry about it

Chloroform: fuckin, , dumbass gays,, ,  , , ,out here,,,,

Ms.Mime: to be fair though we had a really nice time too!!!

HewwoKitty: Yes!!!! It was very fun :33

Chloroform: you're gonna expose me for soft h

HewwoKitty: ;33

Ms.Mime: ;3

Chapter Text

Chloroform: Hey gays, y'all know what we haven't  used for a really long time?

HewwoKitty: :??

McFUCK: your nepeta energy remains

Boo: don't bring it up

Boo: it'll just strengthen her

HewwoKitty: >:33c

Chloroform: GAYS.

McFUCK: W H at haven't we used?

Chloroform: my dude??? Fucking Lenny faces





Cryptid: Well this can only end poorly!

Shamwow: Can't wait

Banoodle: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shamwow: Ki

Shamwow: babe

Chloroform: were

Chloroform: were u about to call Hizashi kitten

Shamwow: hey op delete your fucking comment

Chloroform: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sonic: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

McFUCK: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Banoodle: (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

HewwoKitty: ( ͡°  ʖ̫ ͡° )

Healies: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Oh?Vacuum?: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Boo: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cryptid: You're going to break Aizawa at this rate

Chloroform: Awwww no we won't!

Shamwow: h

Banoodle: ★⌒ヽ( ͡° ε ͡°)

Cryptid: You Will.

Shamwow: is

Shamwow: is that a threat????

Cryptid: :^)

Banoodle: sir that's my emotional support homo

Banoodle: *hobo

Banoodle: fuck

Chloroform: I mean neither of these things are entirely wrong

Shamwow: awfully bold of you to assume I am emotionally supportive

Oh?Vacuum?: Yesterday you sat with your husband for two and a half hours (running 15 minutes into your lesson) just because there was a bug on his desk and he was freaked out

Oh?Vacuum?: You both literally swapped desks

Banoodle: it's spider law.

Stronft: Spider…What?

Banoodle: Spider Law.

Shamwow: it's like cat law but spiders

Banoodle: My old desk belongs to the spider until a given amount of time has passed with no incident. Then I can return. Spider!!!!! Law!!!!!!!

Stronft: Ah that makes sense

Stronft: Should I ask what cat law is?

Chloroform: cat law is that if a cat sits on u of their accord u legally can't move them, if you put them on ur lap u can move them, if the cat is in danger u can move them, if the cat is killing you, die.

Stronft: Oh

Stronft: it's awfully sweet of Aizawa to exchange his desk with Yamada's when it clearly belongs to the spider now

Banoodle: :’) trespass on spider land for bae

Chloroform: Aizawa has the big gae and therefore laws mean nothing in sight of defending his man

Shamwow: both of you need to delete the evidence of me having emotions

Cryptid: That Can Be Arranged

Chloroform: sir that's his emotional support husband!

Cryptid: My mistake you're right >=^3

Shamwow: the faces you make get worse and worse

Cryptid: Eraser, that's my psychological support emoji

Shamwow: let the meme die please let it die

Banoodle: it's such a visceral meme though baby,,,

Shamwow: you called coffee your emotional support beverage this morning

Banoodle: I haven't slept in like thirty nine hours!!!!!!! It's my emotional support!!

Shamwow: Okay Google, ways to forcibly make my husband take a nap without Chloroforming him?

Chloroform: Google says no

Banoodle: :(

Oh?Vacuum?: Having two jobs is already working hard culture, having three jobs is overworked culture.

Hungy: Out of pure curiosity alone! To you absolute heckers who haven't slept in a million years!!!!!!! Did not sleeping at least leave room for eating???????? Hydrating?????????

Banoodle: I suddenly have to leave

Shamwow: d

Shamwow: do jelly packets count

Hungy: Absolutely not you wretched heathen!!!

Shamwow: huh

Shamwow: I also suddenly have to leave

Hungy: I hate you both with The Passion! The Big Passion! The Passion of ensuring my friends are fed and healthy!! You freakin fricks!!!! When will you learn!!!???? When will you LEARN!!!!!!!!!????? That your actions!!!!!! Your actions have consequences!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Banoodle: I'm sorry lunch rush I swear it's not on purpose,,,

Banoodle: I had a lot of stuff to do!!! My assistant was getting sick and I didn't wanna try and overwork them :(

Sonic: so you overwork yourself? Coward

Hungy: hhhnnnnn Gods how are you valid while invalid!!! What kind of culture is this!!!!!!!!!

Banoodle: three job culture?

Hungy: (●o≧д≦)o That's no excuse!!!!!!!!!!!

Hungy: Who else hasn't eaten??? Which if you COWARDS????

Boo: the yeehaw man

McFUCK: I was safe and then you did this to me

Boo: but to be fair to him he just hasn't eaten since yesterday's dinner

Hungy: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm somehow better,,,,,

Healies: I personally appreciate that lunch rush doesn't enter this chat unless it's to harp on you all for your Horrific dietary habits.

Shamwow: you literally only come here to shame us

Healies: 0:)

Stronft: Ah, Terrifying?

Healies: All Might

Stronft: Shit

Healies: You actually need to get something to eat as well! I know you lack several internal organs,

Stronft: I sure do

Healies: However, that is no excuse for not eating! Even if it is a small amount. Idiot.

Stronft: Alright, I'll get something to eat

Hungy: Look!!!! Look at that man!!!! Agreeing to eat!!!!!!! I WISH the rest of you heckers did that!!!!!!! That's a goal!!!!!!!

Cryptid: Yagi is legally obliged to listen to Chiyo otherwise she'll give him the Talk Of disappointment

Banoodle: honestly a bad talk to face,,,

Healies: You've been through it about three times young man!

Shamwow: can't relate

Healies: That's because it went from plain old disappointment to tired exasperation with you

Shamwow: wow, you turn up at a woman's office with three cracked ribs and a clavicle fracture and suddenly she's tired of your shit?

Banoodle: babe,,,

Healies: You aren't one to talk Yamada! Your most common injuries are clavicle fractures and injured ribs!

Banoodle: that's because everyone goes for my speaker and lungs Chiyo!!! You can't blame me!

Healies: I can blame you for allowing those hits to land

Healies: You absolute twink

Banoodle: H

Chloroform: hhdjdbdjdsbkssj

Stronft: Oh

Banoodle: HELLO?????

Shamwow: Chiyo just called my husband a twink and I will never feel more alive than now

Banoodle: MR ALL MIGHT????????

Banoodle: I'M BEING ATTACKED ?????

Stronft: I'm sorry Yamada All Might is currently unable to answer your request…

Banoodle: abandoned by everyone I've ever cared about,,,,,,,,,,,

Sonic: *Shouta voice* Excuse me Shaggy– that's my emotional support twink– oh my god he has air pods in oh my god he can't hear us! oh my god!

Shamwow: I think I just broke my jaw grimacing

Healies: you better hope you didn't!

Shamwow: why would you combine these three memes

Sonic: I just summed up the entire year so far I'm an easy few sentences what do you mean

Chloroform: you forgot dummy thicc

Shamwow: if you even fucking dare to make one of those jokes i’m going to go straight for your jugular

Chloroform: sir that's my emotional support meme

Shamwow: please god end me

Chloroform: God can't hear you he's got airpods in

Banoodle: oh my god he can't hear us

Shamwow: Hey!! All Might :)

Stronft: y

Stronft: Yes Aizawa?

Shamwow: how much can I pay you to fucking detroit smash my face into the ground

Stronft: Uh

Oh?Vacuum?: Why pay all might when a noumu can do it for free!

Stronft: Uh,,,,,,,

Shamwow: God, fuck, you're right, where's the crusted kid I need a favour from him

Stronft: Uh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Banoodle: b a a a a a a a  aabeee

Shamwow: Hizashi

Banoodle: what about the cats :(


Shamwow: I might need to retcon that request

Oh?Vacuum?: Understandable cats are so important

Healies: Heavy sigh

Healies: I don't think all might is ever going to become accustomed to the way you two joke about the USJ incident

Oh?Vacuum?: The Time We Should’ve Brought Chapstick To The USJ

Shamwow: it was a horrible mistake not to bring chapstick quite frankly

Stronft: I'm not one to judge how people cope, but it feels,,, unhealthy to almost accidentally trigger memories of your own traumatic experiences?

Shamwow: All Might

Stronft: I apologise if it was out of line for me to say, I simply worry for you all!

Oh?Vacuum?: Hnng too pure for this school

Shamwow: All Might.

Stronft: Yes Aizawa?

Shamwow: that's my emotional support humour

Banoodle: the absolute mad man did it!

Healies: This is why all of you attend therapy.

Banoodle: for the chat or for trauma?

Healies: Both.

Sonic: I mean damn she right,,,

Stronft: Either way I don't think I'm detroit smashing anyone into the ground…?

Healies: Good :)

Healies: Have you had your Sustenance forced upon you yet

Stronft: I'm eating with some of Class 1-A, they insisted!

HewwoKitty: aww papa pawll might with his lil happy litter

Stronft: hhfjdbsn please,,,

HewwoKitty: ;33c

Hungy: I'm on my way with food ops open the H Y E C K U P

Banoodle: oh no

Banoodle: I can't move

Chloroform: is Shouta lying on you

Banoodle: I can't fucking move

HewwoKitty: Anymeow I've got to run o(’▽’)ノシ


HewwoKitty: Bye Hizashi!!!!!!!!!!!!

McFUCK: How does meow translate to way?

HewwoKitty: hey!!!!!! I amn just a litle creecher!!!! I camnot change ths!!!!!!

HewwoKitty: anyway bye nyall!

HewwoKitty is now idle

McFUCK: nyall...

Sonic: wow what's that sound

Banoodle: It's not me!

Sonic: quick to defend huh

Shamwow: that's the unfiltered rage of God

Cryptid: actually I think that's Lunch Rush

Shamwow: So what I said.

Sonic: please I just wanted to hang out in the teachers lounge like a cool kid for one (1) day, now God is trying to kill me?

Chloroform: oh my god theyve got a whole fuckin wagon of food they can't hear us oh my god!

Boo: sir that's their emotional support starvation!

Shamwow: I'm going into hibernation

Chapter Text

Sonic: speaking of bro remember that time I told u to come to ur brother and u walked over to aizawa instead

Run™: No I don't remember because I was probably less than three

Sonic: yeah,,,

Sonic: damn that shit hurted me real hard in my bone muscles

Sonic: I meant heart bone

Run™: Neither of those things are good

Sonic: Maybe

Sonic: Or maybe u haven't unlocked secret biology yet tenya

Run™: That's even worse!!!

Sonic: god u are a litle study man

Run™: Wh

Run™: This is So Rude

Sonic: what would ur friends say if they knew u were the bigge meme 😔

Run™: “Unsurprising considering who you were raised around”

Sonic: fucjj

Sonic: you're so right

Run™ uwu

Sonic: did you just u w u  m e

Run™: u  w u

Sonic: u w u


[ Somebody ( exams ) got me f u c k t  u p! F u c k e d ! U  p ! channel ]


DeezWatts: I may be a Dumb Bitch but at least I amn nnot c r u s t y ! A h A!

DeezWatts: aw crap this was the wrong place

Whomst: hey op what the FUNK does this mean

DeezWatts: I was arguing w someone ab being dumb crusty baby

Bakuslay: last week you slid into the fucking dorms in those stupid ass toe socks yelling 'AM BABY SQUARE UP’ when eiji got up to get water in the night

DeezWatts: we watched a fucking!!! Horror film Karen??? What the fuck u want from m e ! ! !

BandaidArms: he is just a litle creecher….. he cannmot change thise

DeezWatts: exactly!!!!!!!!!!!

Run™: It's probably unwise to be watching horror movies if you get scared by them easily! I would not want it to affect your mental health or sleep if they do so :/

Murkrow: what a pure boy

DeezWatts: it's for the adrenaline

BoomBoomPow: I'm surprised you can spell that

DeezWatts: this is so rude go to sleep you music box b it ch

BoomBoomPow: u share a playlist with the wrong person once and suddenly your brand is forever maimed by a reputation of 'hey you have that music box playlist right?’

DeezWatts: I will never let u live it down ‘punk rock’ (I love u and will stop when u ask also they were cute songs uwu)

BoomBoomPow: Understandable (thank u) guess I'll sleep

Murkrow: It is almost 1 am anyway, I'm quite surprised Iida hasn't gone to sleep yet

BandaidArms: 👀you👀right👀

Whomst: 👀

Run™: Hey now

DeezWatts: 👀

Cutieshima: 👀

Bakuslay: I literally couldn't care less

Whomst: 👀👀 can't 👀👀 relate 👀👀

Run™: I was talking to my brother!

Run™: I would usually be asleep by now, as would Bakugou!

Bakuslay: Hey

Bakuslay: fuck you

Run™: Just because I'm right doesn't mean you have to boo me

Cutieshima: he's right u sleep so early

Bakuslay: no, you fuckers just stay up unhealthily late

Murkrow: he's right

BoomBoomPow is now idle

DeezWatts: hhhrnnngngnngnn yeah

Xenomorph: it be like that sometimes!

Run™: I understand Some Of You being unable to sleep for your own reasons but please at least lie down and don't look at your devices! If you must then use a blue light filter :(

Xenomorph: oh fuck oh god he sent a sad face oh fuck Todoroki is going to turn up in our rooms and snap our necks all at once

DeezWatts: what about Izuku

Xenomorph: he couldn't hurt any of us out of training if he tried :’)

Run™: Yet

Xenomorph: !!Huh Hate That!!

Run™: Anyway I shall be off to sleep, I suggest you all do as well soon!

DeezWatts: haha Yes Definitely

Run™: I will drop off the soft blanket in the kitchen for you Denki, I saw you when I went to retrieve my glasses earlier.

DeezWatts: thanks God!

Run™ is now idle

DeezWatts: anyway me banging pots and pans together at like 1am: I'm make mac

DeezWatts: everyone else in the 24/7 ikea: *suprised Pikachu*

Cutieshima: 24/7 ikea

Xenomorph: that's where heaven is

Murkrow: thats where my sleep paralysis demons lurk during the day time

DeezWatts: kin

BandaidArms: life is just an IKEA simulation and in the end we all become employees

Whomst: not all heroes wear capes

Cutieshima: I tripped over left shark in IKEA I own him now he chose me

BandaidArms: that huge ass shark plushie is so fucking good bro

BandaidArms: Do u think we can convince cementoss to build a fake IKEA on one of the training grounds

Whomst: I think it would be fun 2 see him break when we ask lmao

Xenomorph: nfodhks not even ‘if’ we ask,, , when we ask

Murkrow: Rest in Peace You Magnificent Rock Man

Bakuslay: what fob song is that

Bakuslay: FUCK

Cutieshima: Hjffhdjsvkssbka


BandaidArms: he didn't mean t o s e n d t h a tbfjhdns

Murkrow: I

Murkrow: alright

Murkrow: I think I might take a stealth coma now

Murkrow: Sleep well whenever you might do so.

BandaidArms; oh fuck we should probably move to the bakusquad chat so we don't wake anyone else up with pings I don't wanna be on the wrong side of Momo 😩

Xenomorph: ==> A b s c o n d

Bakuslay: what the fuck did you just say you little shit?

Xenomorph: l m a o R I P


[ Tally of water bottles on Kirishima's bedside table: > ∞ 😔 channel ]


DeezWatts: me, crunching on my fifteenth bowl of cereal at 3am: trans rights

DeezWatts: my sleep paralysis demons, jobless now I don't sleep, crawling out from under my bed and pulling at me got damn pantte leg from under the table: hey are u alri–

DeezWatts: me, with more force: trans rights.

DeezWatts: my sleep paralysis demons nod in agreement. We all said it. Trans rights.

BandaidArms: babe I love you but what the fuck

DeezWatts: trans rights

BandaidArms: trans rights

Bakuslay: glad we've established that, does sparky want his fucking hot water bottle or n o t

DeezWatts: god is that u

Xenomorph: God has sweaty hands

Bakuslay: then don't fucking hold them!

Xenomorph: no they smell like sweets

DeezWatts: sparky would appreciate god's intervention

Cutieshima: jokes on god I'm already halfway to the kitchen, happy 3am sleep paralysis demons!

DeezWatts: trans rights?

Cutieshima: trans rights!!!

Xenomorph: trans rights!

Bakuslay: trans rights

Venonat: it's fuck am and this is the subject matter

Bakuslay: is that a fucking problem?

Venonat: nah man trans rights

DeezWatts: I'm feeling so validated in this chili's tonight

DeezWatts: oh fucgkk what if aizawa finds us all

BandaidArms: it'll be fine

BandaidArms: worst comes to worst we will carry u,,,

Xenomorph: or fight aizawa

Venonat: 👀

Cutieshima: we’re not fighting aizawa!

Xenomorph: dang,,,

DeezWatts: tfw it's past bed time but trans rights are real and active and u gotta huddle in the kitchen w a hot water bottle and 4 warm lads to keep the transphobes away 😩👌

Venonat: are

Venonat: are you comfortable just saying 'trans rights’ as an excuse?

DeezWatts: u know what,,, , , , with MY dad and saviour??? I think I'm what the kids call yeehaw

Venonat: cool he'll take it dw

Xenomorph: omg

Xenomorph: dad said trans rights!


Bakuslay: I'm going to set up the common room with a million pillows get ready for transport the kitchen is too fucking cold for you just to be sitting there shitty pikachu

DeezWatts: I'm crying is this support

BandaidArms: I would give u a hand but I am currently being used as space heater #1

Bakuslay: it's fine just focus on sparky, I've made pillow forts before,,

Cutieshima: (Everytime he told u I made them when we all hang out was a lie he's soft)

Bakuslay: shut the f uCk up eijiro

Xenomorph: a w w w w bakubroooo ur soft I'm hit that f a t u w u

Bakuslay: if you ever say any of that shit again I will blow you up before you can even breathe to take it back

Xenomorph: hot

Bakuslay: JbfnfbHHHDHNDNSAA

Cutieshima: 👀💦

Bakuslay is now idle

Cutieshima: fjdbs he's on the floor I'll help him w the pillows now that u have ur water bottle

DeezWatts: thanks God!!!

BoomBoomPow is no longer idle

BoomBoomPow: guys what the hhhell it's like ass am

DeezWatts: trans rights kyouka!

BoomBoomPow: fcuk understsndabke have a nice nkitht ✌️

BoomBoomPow is now idle

DeezWatts: u know one time I had wack ass cramps while yall were training and todo squatted next to me and (gently) asked if he should dab on my cramps to make me feel better (he is a v good portable hot water bottle) and I don't think I've ever felt more valid & free of burden in my life 🤔

BandaidArms: did he dab on them tho

DeezWatts: if he did I didn't see, I was blinded by the memeful righteousness in my chest and also I stole him to warm me up bc my squad were being responsible heroes 😔

BandaidArms: I'm sorry bb :(

Xenomorph: :((

Cutieshima: D:

Bakuslay: :/

DeezWatts: dksbka lmfao yall are alright omg it wasn't a dig

DeezWatts: ua said trans rights tbh 😔

Venonat: UA said acceptance culture

Xenomorph: honestly love that for us

Chapter Text

[ Porygon Polycule channel ]

Venonat: Me, tucking myself in for a long nights sleep: 😴

Venonat: Everyone else at the graveyard: Sir What The Fuck

Whomst: you've spent too much time around denki lmao

Venonat: maybe so,,

Infernape: I can't believe our boyfriend just turned into tired purple kaminari denki

Whomst: can't u tho

Whomst: electrocuted hair lookin a s s

Venonat: WOW this is so rude I'm leaving Japan smh

Venonat: anyway I have the most primal urge to pet a cat right now

Venonat: I've got those huge 'hnn need to pet cat' feelings

Infernape: you have so many cats

Venonat: yeah at h o m e but I'm in the d o R M s babe this is hell???

Whomst: pet his TAIL

Infernape: what

Venonat: interesting proposition! I'm gonna fucking do it

Infernape: wait let me open my door please don't climb in through the window again

Infernape: you're already climbing in through the window aren't you

Whomst: lmaooo open up anyway I'm finna finesse my way inside

Infernape: why is it always my room this is so rude

Whomst: I own three million stuffed animals and u would be lost in their sauce

Venonat: awfully bold words when stuffed animal sauce is just another way of saying stuffing is their blood

Infernape: my room is so EMPTY why t h i s

Venonat: bc I can bring all my blankets through ur window

Infernape: Hitoshi I am BEGGING you please use the door

Venonat: I'm on ur balcony I can see aoyama's cheese receipts on iida's balcony why is there a threat

Infernape: he drank iida's juice by accident and iida sounded passive aggressive in his forgiveness and now they're being petty, it's kind of funny?

Whomst: what the fuck is the boys dorm

Venonat: iida's room is right above aoyama's that's terrifying

Infernape: he's been playing Eurobeat pretty loudly whenever iida says he'll study,,,

Infernape: all of us are about to start a revolution on his doorstep

Whomst: is that why Sero said 'les mis his ass'

Venonat: is that why there's a weirdly good barricade in Tokoyami's room

Infernape: I hate to confirm both of those things, but yes

Venonat: sweet I helped dark shadow glue some of the parts together last time I was over for the emo meeting

Infernape: that sentence is scary

Venonat: emo meeting but also memes apparently because we just read that hard cover copy of my immortal we got for toko on his birthday

Whomst: and u didn't invite me? Rude

Venonat: are you emo


Venonat: e x a c t l y

Venonat: tbf we also watched atla a few weeks ago in the common room and everyone else just joined

Whomst: that's bc anyone who doesn't sit down to watch katara & toph kick major ass is a fucking l0ser

Whomst: Even Mic sat down!!!

Venonat: are you calling my dad a loser

Infernape: Hitoshi

Venonat: l m a o u rite

[ Mic Got No Nostrils 2 Sneeze From –ING channel ]

Shamwow: bless you

Chloroform: that was LOUD hizashi bb omg

Sonic: clearly I was wrong,,,

Banoodle: I can feel someone shit talking me,,,

Sonic: bruh, how aren't u sneezing 24/7

Banoodle: HEY NOW

Banoodle: I should've just gone on the yeehaw squad trip to burger king smh y'all

Shamwow: no god could protect you

Banoodle: snipe christ could try

Chloroform: SNIPE CHRIST

Sonic: I hate that the yeehaw gang is just u snipe and all might and all u do is go to American chains and talk in English for hours

Shamwow: you think you hate that? I'm married to that

Chloroform: it was probably in your vows

Chloroform: 'even when you're being a stupid English speaking thot'

Banoodle: that's ALL the time????

Sonic: bust down miciana

Shamwow: tensei I'm getting out of my sleeping bag just to choke you out where are you

Sonic: at my agency come get me pussy

Sonic: climb in through my window like the fool you are!

Chloroform: I still can't believe he did that for so long

Banoodle: u think it's bad he climbed in through y'all's windows,, he climbed in thru our bedroom window when he got back from patrols & knew I'd be up,,

Banoodle: I left the window closed o nce and this man ended my whole career by tapping on the window and then just fucking picking the lock when I didn't wake up bc me fuckin hearing aids were o u t I'm not gonna sleep with them in I'm baby

Shamwow: also you got an ear infection from doing that exact thing like three months prior to the event

Sonic: lmao

Chloroform: o o f

Banoodle: is this bc I keep convincing the kids to physically attack u with affection

Shamwow: Shouto will never succumb and you know it full well

Banoodle: yeah but Eri will! Sucker!

Sonic: sucker he says, like he doesn't cry every day when he sees his daughter

Chloroform: literally last year y'all had 0 kids and now u have three

Banoodle: that's adoption baby!

Shamwow: again, Shouto's position is different to Hitoshi and Eri

Banoodle: Ur his legal guardian that means ur his dad now

Shamwow: you're married to me

Banoodle: he gets one gaudy English dad, one emo dad, and a mother who is recovering gently

Chloroform: it's what he deserves!

Sonic: 'it sure is' mic 2krightnow

Banoodle: h

Stronft: what the fuck

Shamwow: knife


Stronft: Understandable I'm going back to the yeehaw now

Banoodle: I wAnnA bE,,, wHeR E ThE yEeEhaWws aRE

McFUCK: I will bring you back food y'absolute winge


McFUCK: wh

Sonic: S N I P E  C H R I S T !

Chloroform: oh honey u better ruuunnn

Oh?Vacuum?: Rip the best friend

Boo: rip the boyfriend

PebbleSkip: rip foolish colleague

TCrews: ^^^

Oh?Vacuum?: you both like him way more than that!!!!

Fangboi: if the colleagues find out we can feel they're going to tell the principal

Cryptid: >:^3c

Shamwow: like he doesn't already know

Chloroform: nedzu has the MOST embarrassing stories about everyone working at ua and I think that's beautiful

Cryptid: Now now! I only keep them with permission :^)

Chloroform: that implies someone made u destroy some of their t a p e s

Cryptid: >:^)

Chloroform: EYES

Shamwow: suddenly I need to locate Eri


Banoodle: that's what the kids call a b ruh moment

Cryptid: Now now, you were there too!


Sonic: B R U H

Chloroform: Krbskbsnas I know what this IISSSSSS

Fangboi: fuckin nasty

Banoodle: u try and get a smooch from ur husband in school ONE TIME and SUDDENLY it's OH THATS NASTY YAMADA and WHY ARE YOU ON THE DESK YAMADA and LMAO WERE YALL MAKING OUT HIZASHI THATS GAY

Shamwow: I refuse to read this I cannot read this and I am not reading this

Stronft: I see,,,,

Stronft: UA truly is a chaotic force

Chloroform: lmao yeah

Chloroform: also that wasn't the only time Hizashi so

Banoodle: S huU T YOUR UP


Sonic is now idle

Chloroform: he died,,, , , rip,,, sonic,,,, u were the real g baby <3 :'(

SlipNSlide is no longer idle

SlipNSlide: Eraserhead just appeared through a window and I am terrified?

Banoodle: god I love him send pics

Stronft: what

SlipNSlide: n,,,no??

TCrews: Thank you.

Chloroform: lmao

Fangboi: this chat was a mistake

Stronft: This school was a mistake…

Cryptid: Maybe so!

McFUCK: fhfhhdhdhd

Boo: You heard it here first folks!

Shamwow is now idle

Stronft: Give me strength, do I even want to know what happened this time?

SlipNSlide: Tenya's at the agency for some family business and he just came into the room we're in, saw aizawa, blinked, and then hit the woah at him so tensei had one moment to grapple him and they flipped each other and fucking landed weirdly I need to right his wheelchair one moment

Stronft: The short answer was no!

Chloroform: Tenya hit the woah at Shouta,,,,,

Banoodle: unsurprising tbh we keep doing it whenever he walks into a room and we're @ their house

Stronft: That's such a bad sentence, it cost you 0 dollars not to say it

PebbleSkip: I would be more concerned about who they're doing it towards but considering I saw aizawa walk into the staffroom yesterday and immediately wrap both of them in his capture weapon I'm assuming it's him

Banoodle: ten points to cementoss for his g-g-g-gROUND BR E A K I N G PERCEPTION!!! YE A A  A AA A A AA A H ! ! !

McFUCK: he really should've come to the yeehaw meetup

Stronft: I doubt that would have stopped him

Chloroform: u rite!


[ Three Soft Boys channel ]

Vulpix: I can feel horrifically cursed energy radiating from somewhere and I don't know where but it's very suffocating

Vulpix: Tenya did you do something

Run™: Why would you ever accuse me of such a thing!!! It's improbable I'd do anything to garner such attention from the void!

Pure: Improbable,,, not impossible

Vulpix: Tenya did something and I will bet my jacket on it

Pure: that's not fair you have the best jacket!!!!!!!!!

Run™: It's was my jacket originally…?

Pure: Exactly!!!!! It's big and soft and smells like both of you that's so good???????

Vulpix: That is so soft I'm almost ready to forget Tenya did something cursed enough I can feel I from the dorms even though he's with his brother :/

Run™: It is very soft I agree

Pure: but you didn't disagree about your actions!!! Tenya!!!!!!!!

Vulpix: I'm going to ask Midnight what you've done and you know I will


Pure: Wuh Oh???

Run™: I didn't do anything intentionally disruptive!!! I've merely picked up on a bad habit.

Vulpix: oh my god you hit the woah at Aizawa didn't you

Pure: WHAT

Vulpix: Midnight and Yamada have been doing it to him whenever he enters a room they're already in it's not far fetched to assume that's what's being said…

Run™: I was not!! Intentionally!!! Being!!!! Disruptive!!!!!

Run™: They were grappling on the floor and it felt like the correct thing to do in the situation :(

Vulpix: That's the Yamada influence how have you survived it for so long

Run™: Tensei's cursedness cancels him out a lot

Pure: Understandable I am terrified!

Vulpix: What a legend though…

Run™: Please Shouto I was cursed

Vulpix: when you're anxious about the adults in your life but you were raised on memes *hits the w u h  o h*

Run™: sh OutO

Vulpix: UwU

Run™: Nowo…

Pure: I just want j a c k e t

Vulpix: don't we all

Run™: You have my jacket

Vulpix: Not all of them

Pure: boutta run into Shouto's room and steal all his sweaters

Vulpix: they're literally your sweaters but go off

Pure: me, about to instigate a clothes stealing war: aw shit here we go again

Run™: Please leave some for the rest of our poor starved souls

Pure: no promises!!!

Chapter Text

[ Denki please it's past curfew channel ]

DeezWatts: I like to fornite default dance on the grounds outside the class B window because I know it drives him batshit

BandaidArms: drives who batshit

DeezWatts: the monoma not reading this

FrenchSparkleParty: the amount of peace offerings I have offered that man is on your head mon ami

DeezWatts: hngn fuck but I'm litle creecher! This is so rude of u im going 2 tell the powice

DeezWatts: u torment me w the void, now cheese threats 😩

Pure: you too?

DeezWatts: what

Pure: what

DeezWatts: midoriya,, ,  , , should we be concerned,,, ,  ,

Pure: N

Pure: No? I'm fine!

FrenchSparkleParty: UwU

DeezWatts: 👀

BandaidArms: press X to doubt

Run™: The cheese threats really are a little extreme!

FrenchSparkleParty: 🗡️😇✨

Run™: Alright Then :)

Infernape: will this feud ever stop,,,

BandaidArms: We're almost done w the stuff in toko's room 👀

Run™: Excellent! I'm incredibly proud of you all for joining together as such an efficient team :)

Pure: every use of ':)' from Tenya puts more and more fear in my heart!

Space: honestly same!!!

Kewwo: Iida is very mature I'm sure it'll be fine

FrenchSparkleParty: You're all acting very suspicious mes amies!

Run™: Good!

FrenchSparkleParty: The a u d a c i t y !

Space: this is terrifying and I'm gonna stick to the slumber party Yaoyorozu is throwing in her room

Kewwo: Are you going to get your nails done?

Space: djsjsj only if we have protective coats! I don't wanna chip them :( and Tenya did such a good job of my last ones I don't want to get rid of it!!!

Run™: Ah

Run ™: Thank you, but there's no need to hold onto it! I can always do them again the next time you ask Ochako

Space: I'm soft as HELL thank you Tenya!!!

Pure: Ochako!! What colour are you getting them?

Space: Uhhh we'll see!!! Might follow Mic's lead and get rainbow or holo though!! Pride June is over but Pride July begins!

Vulpix: Pride year, yearly event.


[ MONOMA STEALS S O C K S channel ]

Snatched: someone was SHIT talking me

YaoiHands: are we supposed to be surprised?

Snatched: :///

Kirishima: yooo it's fine as long as he doesn't try and get into the 1A dorms w/o permission again it'll be fine!

Kirishima: and he's totally calmed down since the last time! Right monoma?

Snatched: are you insinuating I won't do it again????

Snatched: WATCH me I'll do it right now!

YaoiHands: monoma you aren't even wearing shoes

Snatched: you think I need SHOES to show 1A who's best? B A H

Nyeigh: I'm telling dad!!!

Snatched: Bet

Snatched: do it

Snatched: you won't

Snatched: Coward

Snatched: C O W A R D

Nyeigh: >:(((

Winston: she's definitely telling blood king

Snatched: if they can CATCH ME

Fangboi is no longer idle

Fangboi: kids

Snivy: We aren't doing anything :(

Snivy: Monoma is simply expressing healthy competition!

Blowtorch: bet???

Fangboi: As much as I'd love to prove that 1b is the clearly better class in this situation, breaking into the dorms isn't going to do anyone any good.

Snatched: AH but you a g r e e !

Fangboi: Monoma I am literally your homeroom teacher

Snatched: MAYBE SO!

Snatched: oh shhFjfbdnsnsb JSVSNAA

Snatched is now idle

YaoiHands: local dumbass found missing! Lasts seen wearing pyjamas, no shoes, a maniacal grin. Spotted attempting to enter the 1A dormitory, currently being watched over by one (1) ptsd ridden teacher who will, and has, willingly put himself directly into harm's way for his children.

Snivy: And also the former symbol of peace… similarly ridden and willing! :0c

Blowtorch: aw shit

Blowtorch: here we go again

Fangboi: I'll deal with it, the rest of you stay as you were in the dorms! Anyone with clearance to go outside be sure to be back by curfew!

Snivy: Of course sir!


[ Direct Message – FrenchSparkleParty to Snatched ]

FrenchSparkleParty: L'ennemi a commencé à se préparer~

Snatched: I see! Rather bold of them to move so fast in their plans!

FrenchSparkleParty: Very much so mon ami! I will have to enlist some help from the other classes should they move in~

Snatched: Hoe zit het met de kaasovereenkomst?

FrenchSparkleParty: It will be dealt with!

Snatched: Very good! Then we shall proceed as discussed!

FrenchSparkleParty: The doors will be opened at the arranged time~

FrenchSparkleParty: Please do not get caught again…

Snatched: Of course not! It was a ruse to draw their suspicion! No one would expect me to try and sneak past Eraserhead and All Might TWICE that would be foolish!

Snatched: A pleasure working with a reasonable mind!

FrenchSparkleParty: Likewise~

[ DM closed ]


[ Direct Message – Shamwow to Banoodle ]

Shamwow: god could you IMAGINE your kids showing you an inch of respect?

Banoodle: Can't say I can babe! What's up?

Shamwow: the second they realised I knew what a meme was I dhhjdhd

Shamwow: this is the most informal class and I blame myself entire I am soft and it is a c r i m e

Banoodle: awww babe!! It's fine omg

Banoodle: they obviously still respect you, you're just a lot closer with this set of kids this time!

Banoodle: it's not necessarily a bad thing!

Shamwow: it means they're not taking me seriously if I threaten extra work, detentions, or expulsion

Shamwow: they won't work as hard as before.

Shamwow: they'll do stupid shit that'll get them into trouble

Banoodle: any stupider than we were with Nedzu?

Shamwow: Yes! He can be terrifying at the very least he wasn't so informal with us

Banoodle: Is this a self doubt issue or is it the kids doing something stupid that's got you wound up

Shamwow: Monoma tried to break into the dorms (again) so Kan needed to message us before we acted without warning

Shamwow: except he messaged Yagi before me so by the time I got it the poor idiot was already tied to the ceiling because all we got was an alarm going off

Shamwow: and obviously kids are having a blast because they all have a sixth sense for 1b's shenanigans but fuck if it was a real threat I can't trust they wouldn't act the same

Banoodle: Ah

Banoodle: Okay I see

Banoodle: You're worried if you let up on the persona you've been holding around your old classes they're going to be less serious about their work, and then they'll get into trouble, and you've convinced yourself that'll be your fault

Banoodle: You know they respect you, right?

Shamwow: I

Shamwow: it's not really a matter of respect I just

Shamwow: I need them to survive

Shamwow: I've already had an abundance of sessions about USJ and the self doubt that instilled but it's hard Zashi

Banoodle: I know it is, Shou

Banoodle: Your class has been through a lot and you've always been tough on yourself about that stuff

Banoodle: You could get shot by an officer and somehow blame yourself for being in the way if the situation was right

Shamwow: I'm not that bad

Banoodle: No not quite :P

Banoodle: But you could get there if you keep this up!

Shamwow: Mggh

Banoodle: Your class cares about you, and they respect you. It doesn't have to be mutually exclusive, Shouta

Banoodle: And you know they take you seriously about that stuff! Have you seen their faces when you do it? You've assigned Ashido and Kaminari enough extra work for a whole new lesson plan

Banoodle: I've watched training session footage back, Yaoyorozu and Tsuyu both have the m o s t respect for you! I'm gonna have to up my game messing around with you for them to relax a little!

Banoodle: It's good they aren't stressed about you being their homeroom teacher Shou, they trust you. They're supposed to trust you. Kan acts similarly with his class, they're allowed to be kids as well

Shamwow: I know that Zashi

Shamwow: It's just

Shamwow: If they don't put enough effort into training, they're going to get hurt

Banoodle: If they put too much in they're going to overwork themselves

Banoodle: It was only a few months ago you were talking about how they needed a chance to be kids!

Banoodle: I know we've had some incidents, but they'll be okay. They're stronger than they were at USJ and they've even got provisionals now! They trust you, but you've gotta trust 'em back!


Shamwow: You make too much sense to be married to me

Banoodle: Pffft no, everyone just likes to latch to a certain persona I put up too!

Banoodle: Did talking it out help a little?

Shamwow: yeah

Shamwow: Thanks Zashi

Banoodle: Of course!

Shamwow: On a better note

Shamwow: Are you free on the seventh?

Banoodle: Oh what's this! A date??? Babe I'm free all day and night! Got told to take it off 😔 apparently I've been wOrkIng ToO mUch

Shamwow: mmm you're a hypocrite kitten

Banoodle: Maybe so! But I do not take my work further than the office in our home!

Shamwow: h ush

Banoodle: But of course I'm free Shouta

Shamwow: Good

Shamwow: I'll tell you when you get home

Banoodle: Gay

Shamwow: Hizashi we've been married for years

Banoodle: :PP 💛

Shamwow: 💛


Chapter Text

[ The Seven Days of Thirstmas -IT channel ]

Chloroform: never forget that one time Shouta and Hizashi talked about their marriage for a while and then tensei, poor sweet sleep deprived tensei, went 'oh shit they got married'

Sonic: alternatively my eardrums will never forget Hizashi's bass boosted B r u h

Shamwow: the first week after we got married he called me his boyfriend in a conversation and then stopped and literally looked at his hands and went 'oh my god I can call you my husband it sounds so much better'

Chloroform: that's very gay and mulaney of him

Shamwow: he still does it

Sonic: l m a o remember when he called Shouta his financé on their first anniversary and no one questioned it until like 3am when we all started @ing him gjfbdjdjs

Banoodle: is it bully Hizashi time,, is it really,,, , , is it the week of 'oh haha Hizashi's gonna get older let's all point out his dumb gay'




Shamwow: Absolutely

Fangboi: Excellent

Banoodle: Wait no!!!! That's not encouraging at all!!!!!!!

Fangboi: fun school story for the two people that bully our resident power couple the most

Chloroform: aw yis

Shamwow: what

Sonic: me, shaking midnight: THATS US!!! WE'RE THE ANNOYING ONES!!!!

Banoodle: oh n    ono but also omg we're a power couple, , , , , ,

Shamwow: w    h

RuhRoh: ahahaha


Cryptid: :^)

Banoodle: oh FUCK

Shamwow: Damn you memory , just get erased like the rest of the tapes.

RuhRoh: E r a s e r head

Banoodle: r y o your messages are so CRYPTIC hdhdbdbsnsnsn

RuhRoh: :))))

Chloroform: he's been typing for s o  l o n g

Sonic: I'm clearing storage space on my phone to screenshot it instantly

Shamwow: I'll give you a headstart when I chase you down

Sonic: like you could catch me, pussy

Chloroform: we also just gotta talk ab tensei 24/7 calling aizawa a pussy out of nowhere wtf is that

Sonic: he's a c o w a r d

Shamwow: I didn't arm wrestle him once and I'm not going to live it down apparently.

Sonic: you arm wrestled Kan! Fucking arm wrestle me again! I wanna flex at you!

Chloroform: very gay of u

Sonic: uh YEAH I sure hope it is

Banoodle: me, watching tensei steal my man (again): aw shit, here we go again

Chloroform: we just gonna I g n o r e the months y'all like,,, pseudo-dated and then didn't?

Shamwow: yes actually

McFUCK: hello???

Chloroform: Understandable have a nice day eraser!

McFUCK: wait now I wanna hear that too tf

Sonic: lmao winks

Chloroform: *twinks

Sonic: excuse me!

Boo: we legally have to get a story on that

Banoodle: kjdvskaba

Shamwow: no you don't because  so m e o n e  will accidentally tell iida jr and then I'm never going to be able to look at him in the eyes again.

RuhRoh: can you even look at him in the eyes now

Shamwow: rude of you to bring us back to the initial conversation :/

RuhRoh: :)

Shamwow: oh

Shamwow: oh no


Chloroform: Lmao whaT IS iT

Cryptid: We have meetings about it! All of you have attended them :^)

Chloroform: we have SO MANY meetings Nedzu!


Cryptid: That is fair.

Fangboi: I'm cutting a long ass story short because fuck knows we don't need to converse about it for any longer than we need to

Shamwow: we don't even need to talk about it

RuhRoh: :)

Banoodle: Hfjbd

Fangboi: Eraser and Mic got caught making out on a table once (1 time) by iida's little brother and his response wasn't even 'oh shit those are teachers making out better RUN' it was, 'Mr Aizawa! Mr Yamada! That's school property please treat it respectfully!!!' and then they died

Banoodle: It's true! I have no pulse!

Shamwow: god same

Sonic: Hhrhdsb this is EXACTLY like the art gallery you skrhsksbs

Banoodle: I wasn't even p a r t of that!!!

Chloroform: lmao yes u were

Banoodle: well,,,

Shamwow: tensei you started that one

Sonic: I did n o t

Chloroform: baby you really did I remember the texts I got them printed

Fangboi: my work here is done

Shamwow: you didn't do anything important

Fangboi: b y e

RuhRoh: uwu

Banoodle: oh my god he just uwud

RuhRoh is now idle

Cryptid: There he goes…

Chloroform: off into the sunset 😔

Boo: wait put the conversation back to the art gallery it was getting good

Chloroform: u right!

Sonic: oh FUCK I did start that didn't I

Shamwow: it's literally the reason we don't go to museums as a group anymore

Sonic: I thought that was bc we got lifetime banned and y'all just snuck in

Banoodle: ooooh nnno,,, that was the uhhhhh oh fuck I forgot the name

Banoodle: that supermarket that closed! Down the road from my old house!!!

Sonic: Oh L MA O YEAH

Chloroform: I forgot that happened and honestly I hope you regret nothing

Chloroform: but I had to go in there a lot to buy u fuckers water after training

Shamwow: you got the cashier's number

Chloroform: oh lol yeah he was hot

Chloroform: I am a simple pan I see attractive person I walk over and assert dominance that is just how it be

Sonic: could NEVER relate fjdhdjsjs

Stronft: this such an abstract conversation I don't even think I should be looking at it

Boo: Yeah that's the energy that scared off all the other teachers from the chat

Cryptid: I hired three students who attended during the same years for a reason

Stronft: Accumulating as much chaotic power as physically possible?

Cryptid: Precisely!

Stronft: An expected yet still deeply terrifying answer.

McFUCK: y'all I just wanna know what the fuck is going on

Boo: don't we all

McFUCK: this is exactly like when I couldn't think of what I wanted to say and kayama kept buggin me fer it

McFUCK: except now it's information bein held from us smh

Chloroform: long ass story short the boys went 2 n art museum together for a school project & then tensei started being a stupid flirt w shouta and Hizashi joined in when they met up w him in the American arts exhibitit

Shamwow: there were a lot of comments made and I would like to forget them all

Sonic: h e  y I used GOOD material on u smh

Banoodle: they were great material bro I'm proud of u

Sonic: bro,,,

Shamwow: why are you both like this

Sonic: me n the boys flirting in the art gallery

Banoodle: me n the boys getting caught flirting in the art gallery

Chloroform: watching ur boys get kicked out from the art gallery

Shamwow: a horrible saga, I wish I hadn't ever been a part of it

Banoodle: the blood did NOT leave his face ALL DAY

Shamwow: do you hear that? It's the sound of your impending doom.

Banoodle: right in front of my birthday???

Sonic: we should go to the art museum on your birthday

Stronft: I… feel like I should dissuade you from doing so?

Cryptid: If there was any stopping them they would have been stopped years ago.

Stronft: that is… true

Healies is no longer idle

Healies: I'm not treating you boys if you get into trouble again

Banoodle: not even for a birthday boy uwu

Healies: 🗡️

Banoodle: D: !!!

Shamwow: perish

McFUCK: recovery girl an' eraser share a very similar exhausted energy

Shamwow: I can only aspire to the exhaustion Shuzenji has achieved, it's a heavily mental exhaustion and yet somehow she maintains the ability to look after everyone  

Boo: big healer energy

Healies: He's right but he shouldn't say it.

Sonic: contest: describe big tired ppl's exhaustion levels

Sonic: alternative contest: name all the big tired energy ppl for a prize

Chloroform: what's the prize

Sonic: idk I'll buy someone dinner I guess

Chloroform: me and the boys staring into the camera like we're aoyama BC that's EVERY Friday we had together

Banoodle: shits true,,,

Sonic: I didn't do it that much!!!

Banoodle: bruh

Shamwow: wait I have a list


McFUCK: how the fuck did we get here from talkin' about art galleries an bad choices

Banoodle: idk,,,

Banoodle: but I can confirm the list,, he's been keeping it since highschool

Shamwow: nemuri made me fear owing people

Chloroform: I didn't even do anything to u 😔



Shamwow: you have too much blackmail on my home for me to dispute

Chloroform: 😘

Chapter Text

[ MIC'S BIRTHDAY B A S H channel ]


Sonic: back in our GLORY DAYS

Shamwow: I can feel the dread building inside my soul

SlipNSlide: Ah, same,,,

Chloroform: best family trip this is a great time

HewwoKitty: me n the gals gonna end this birthday boy's whole career!

Banoodle: please no I have t h r e e !

HewwoKitty: >:33c

Ms.Mime: A shame ur kiddos couldn't be here Hizashi! I was gonna tease you Relentlessly!

Banoodle: lmaoo yeah they didn't wanna deal with chaos adults (this whole group) all day :') I've been insulted

Shamwow: you'll live

Chloroform: tensei I'm watching u, if u get kicked out for flirting with ur bf I'm gonna laugh at u

Sonic: that is homophobic and also r u d e

SlipNSlide: He won't get kicked out it's okay ^v^

Chloroform: Ah so sure! From one pan to the other tensei,,,, Ur gonna get kicked out

Sonic: I am a distinguished retired hero now! Bet!

Banoodle: anyway I'm gonna drag Shouta somewhere to make out

Shamwow: no you will fucking not

Banoodle: my own husband,, on the day of my birth,,,,,,

Shamwow: get over it, this is the first half of your day

HewwoKitty: He's right! >:33c

Ms.Mime: Y'all have a whole house to return to

Shamwow: And feed the cats yes

Banoodle: best activity tbh

Banoodle: mochi is gonna end my whole career when she does the lil brrr,,, she headbutts you at the same time I'm s o f t !

Chloroform: give it up girls they'll never pick up what we lay down 😔

HewwoKitty: Unfurtunately ;33

Shamwow: did you say that out loud

SlipNSlide: she did

HewwoKitty: traitor!

SlipNSlide: We all know that Mic laughed…

Sonic: L m a o y e a h

Banoodle: this is RUDE I didn't age for this harassment!!!!!!!!!

Banoodle: anywho edo period time

Shamwow: This'll be interesting

Sonic: You're just saying that bc it's where we got kicked out of last time

[ Dad planning 2, birthday boogaloo channel ]

Venonat: they'll be at the art museum for who knows how long before they inevitably get kicked out

Vulpix: I still say they don't get kicked out

Venonat: and we have money riding on the outcome, yes, your point?

Vulpix: that is all

Venonat: Understandable

Venonat: I have Eri with me, we'll meet up at the park to go to Kayama's place together where the presents are

Venonat: That leaves enough room for the dads to swing by the house, put away whatever criminal items they've acquired, before heading to the café

Venonat: we circle back around once dad messages us giving us the okay

Venonat: Tensei, Haimawari, Kayama, Fukukado, and Shiretoko will meet us back at the house, and we'll set up there with all the presents

Venonat: That about it?

Vulpix: I'm meeting up with Izuku and Tenya when you head back to the house with Eri, they had gifts from the class they wanted to hand over.

Venonat: Tight

Venonat: The big three are helping us with the drop off right? We're meeting in the park

Vulpix: As far as I can tell, yes

Vulpix: Izuku said he would message me if something changed

Venonat: When the f I rst party's over we get the fuck outta dodge

Venonat: then the adults can do whatever adults do, we'll stay at the dorms and then it's out of our hands and safe

Vulpix: The amount of effort we put into Yamada's birthday greatly contrasts Aizawa's

Venonat: Yeah cause dad didn't want a big thing, surprise parties weren't the best thing at the time

Vulpix: I suppose the cat café was a much appreciated differentiation from work for him

Venonat: Hell yeah!

Venonat: Besides, they wanted to go to the museum

Venonat: It just gave us a nice window of opportunity

Vulpix: I suppose if they would've gone either way it's only logical we might as well use the time allotted to us

Venonat: Careful, someone might ask you if you're Aizawa's secret love child

Vulpix: This is so rude you make a theory board a couple of times and suddenly you're the secret love child guy

Shamwow: That's rough buddy

Vulpix: !! Go back to your date !!

Shamwow: Nah

Shamwow: Hizashi's bopping out to the weird background music they put in a walkthrough exhibit so I've got a moment

Shamwow: but I can see you've got it under control

Venonat: no duh

Venonat: go be a nasty old man with your husband smh

Shamwow: Have fun in the dorms with snipe today. Careful he doesn't bump into Hagakure on her way out.

Venonat: h

Venonat: that's R U D E

Vulpix: He's right but he shouldn't say it

Venonat: As If you're any better!

Vulpix: Tenya and Izuku wanted to paint nails so we're doing that.

Venonat: wow we were just gonna watch shitty movies in Mashirao's room

Vulpix: it is always his room

Venonat: it's the comfiest.

Shamwow: Good to see you're all getting along. Will Mirio be fine looking after Eri for the day?

Vulpix: He's assured me it would be his pleasure almost as many times as he's said it to you and Izuku

Vulpix: I think they'll be baking in the 1A dorms until it's time for bed.

Shamwow: Alright

Shamwow: You have all the numbers in case something pops up right?

Venonat: Yes dad it's fine

Venonat: we've got it under control go get kicked out a museum already!

Shamwow: I intend not to

Shamwow is now idle

Venonat: Smh


[ MIC'S BIRTHDAY B A S H channel ]

Banoodle: I am not lying! I SWEAR I heard a mix of this song!!!

Ms.Mime: that's W A CK Hizashi you can't have! Don't they have to use like,, copyright free music or smthn

Banoodle: No?? If the museum bought music they can play it

Banoodle: but like?? Even if it's so easy to make remixes of you have a copyright free sample!!!

Banoodle: either way I'm JAMMING out

Chloroform: I caught a glimpse of you through one of the doorways you're going for it huh

Banoodle: it is my Birthday I am Dancing

Sonic: you're gonna get kicked out for public disturbance at this rate zashi

Banoodle: they can try!!!!!!

Banoodle: all I'm doing is bopping is that so much a crime

Banoodle: me and this 12th century Kamakura sculpture just trying to relax and turn on the radio,, hello sir would you like AM or FMMMMMM

Chloroform: where the fuck is his mans he needs collecting

Shamwow: He's enjoying himself

HewwoKitty: And he's not breaaaking anything!

SlipNSlide: That is pretty true

SlipNSlide: it's harmless fun

Sonic: for now

SlipNSlide: tensei no

Sonic: tensei yes

Chapter Text

[ Dad planning 2, birthday boogaloo channel ]

Whomst: fhdhhss I cannot REACH the walls!!!! I'm!! Too! Short!

Murkrow: I am of literally no use

Murkrow: why are there so many lights

Xenomorph: mic is gaudy so I used bakusquad tower powers to install LED disco lights instead of the normal bulbs

Xenomorph: and by me, I mean I lifted kaminari up bc my boy is shockproof

DeezWatts: thanks it's my quirk!

DeezWatts: kind of

Whomst: don't you get shocked by your own???

DeezWatts: low-key resistant to others I guess ✌️😔

DeezWatts: also that's like,,, so many volts passing through my brain hagakure that's literally short circuiting!!

Whomst: omg,,, bb,,,,,,,

Whomst: pls don't overuse ur quirk so much!!!

DeezWatts: working on it 😩👌

BandaidArms: yeah babe,,, we gotta figure out a way to see when you get to your limits, your memory gets affected by it as well

DeezWatts: yeehaw I know [insert sad cowboy]

DeezWatts: we'll work on it but like,,,,, for now??????? Mic birthday????

BoomBoomPow: I'd like to thank music for existing and also Mic's station team for helping me put together the music he really likes

FullfleshAlchemist: Kyouka!! He's not going to be here until tomorrow!! You told me you finished it this morning please take a break?

BoomBoomPow: HECK babe

BoomBoomPow: I swear I finished it when I said I did,, I just wanted to,,,,, refine it,,

FullfleshAlchemist: Uh-huh, and how long have you been doing that?

BoomBoomPow: uhhhhhhhhh

Bakuslay: she's been doing that shit since like nine am this morning, so a good few fucking hours

Bakuslay: she only stopped to take snaps of pikachu and raccoon eyes putting up the lights

BoomBoomPow: you're a traitor bakugou

Bakuslay: Fucking look after yourself

Xenomorph: I'd say that's almost affectionate!

Bakuslay: FUCK YOU

BandaidArms: awww

DeezWatts: uwu

Cutieshima: Cmon guys don't be mean you know he's trying

BandaidArms: we know

DeezWatts: proud of him

Bakuslay: s hUt the fuck up I'm gonna put these stupid fucking drinks in the fucking cooler

Cutieshima: he's blushing

Bakuslay: s h u t  t h e f u c k u p s h i t t y h a i r

Whomst: Ur all adorable what a squad

Whomst: anyway aside from these gays


Whomst: @ Tentacruel

Tentacruel is no longer idle

Tentacruel: How can I help

Whomst: god ur a strong armed blessing

Tentacruel: Th

Tentacruel: Thank you?

Whomst: Ur welcome pls help ur bf put these banners I am holding on the walls,,,

Whomst: ur tall as fuck and also he needs some help BC of the light sitch

Tentacruel: Oh! Of course :)

Murkrow: I don't know who I'm thanking…

Whomst: I'm here 2 notice struggle and nothing else ✌️

Infernape: A clear lie.

Infernape: Come help me and Rikidou in the kitchen, Tooru.

Whomst: thank u for the task I can reach

CandyCRONCH: If you two don't distract each other you're welcome in

CandyCRONCH: And by distract I mean do that batter thing you always do.

Infernape: Us?

Whomst: we would never >:)

CandyCRONCH: Thanks for the doubt!

CandyCRONCH: Also be wary of Mirio, he's getting stuff together for brownies while I work on the cake.

Whomst: Cute!!

Infernape: Hitoshi's in the park with his sister otherwise you'd have much more on your hands.

CandyCRONCH: Thank God for small blessings then.

CandyCRONCH: Is Kouji outside?

FrenchSparkleParty: Oui! He is very politely requesting the bugs maintain a healthy distance from Present Mic for as long as possible!

Whomst: Oh that's cute of y'all

Rowlet: (^v^)

Rowlet: I felt a little bad about our fight against him with all the bugs…

BoomBoomPow: Yeah,,, I got a little battered but like,, seeing Mic all shakey after wasn't fun :(

FullfleshAlchemist: I'm sure he doesn't hold any ill will towards you! It was a good utilisation of your quirk Kouda!

Rowlet: (;^~^)b

Run™: Yes!!! I agree with Yaoyorozu! I have known him for a while and though he suffers from severe entomophobia, he would never harbour bad feelings over something as trivial as an assessment!

Pure: If you still feel super bad about it, I'm sure this'll be a nice make-up for it!!!

Pure: Plus you can always tell him if you haven't already!

BoomBoomPow: We kinda did a small 'sorry' after the assessment but it didn't really feel like it was making up for it

Rowlet: (u_u;)

Rowlet: We can do it after class maybe…..

BoomBoomPow: Sure! I'll go with you!

Rowlet: \(^w^)/

Shamwow: Good to know

BoomBoomPow: AH

Rowlet: (;;;;;>_>)

Shamwow: I won't tell him

Shamwow: But if it makes either of you feel better, I won't dissuade you from your selected actions.

FullfleshAlchemist: Oh! Sir! How is your trip going?

Shamwow: Haven't been kicked out yet

Shamwow: But we have been hovering around a shop an obnoxiously long time

Venonat: Damn I'm gonna lose the bet

Xenomorph: bet?

Venonat: family bet, you're banned

Xenomorph: Rude!!!!!

Vulpix: I told you Hitoshi, they'll be fine.

Shamwow: Also we're a group of pro heroes with recent news coverage.

Shamwow: It's a wonder they haven't been swarmed yet.

Venonat: yeah well

Venonat: I was sure Pa would break >:/

Shamwow: As if I'd give him the chance

Venonat: well there was that one time

Venonat: you know

Venonat: with th

Shamwow has silenced Venonat

Xenomorph: fhdhdhdhdh

Xenomorph: y'all hear smthn?

Kewwo: Very mature response :P

Shamwow: hush

Kewwo: kerro

Kewwo: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself sensei

Shamwow: thanks

Space: Yeah!!! Pick us up a rock or something!

Shamwow: it's an art museum, but sure

Bakuslay: he's gonna come back with a literal fucking pebble or something now

DeezWatts: class mascot

FrenchSparkleParty: You all have horrible naming sense~

FrenchSparkleParty: I should do it~~

BandaidArms: lmmaoo no lets call it kiri

Cutieshima: hEy

BoomBoomPow: dwayne

BandaidArms: DWAYNE

DeezWatts: YES

Bakuslay: god you gave them another braincell

Xenomorph: Kyouka has gifted us half a braincell! We now collectively share one whole braincell! All hail Kyouka bringer of knowledge!

DeezWatts: \o/

BandaidArms: \o/

Cutieshima: \o/

BoomBoomPow: oh man

Shamwow: Alright then...

Shamwow has unsilenced Venonat

Shamwow: I'll be sure to pick up a whole rock then

Space: I have begun something but I don't even regret it!

Kewwo: hun,,,

Space: Gunhead would've wanted it!

Kewwo: Oh well then there's a legal obligation

Space: :DD

Shamwow: We're out the shop, I'll keep him from trying to go to the dorms (which he won't.)

Venonat: t i g h t


[ Direct Message – FrenchSparkleParty to Snatched ]

FrenchSparkleParty: All ready~

Snatched: Merci :)

Snatched: We'll be fast

FrenchSparkleParty: I should hope so

FrenchSparkleParty: But everyone's essentially in the commons now, you should be fine mon ami~

Snatched: Comforting.

[ DM closed ]


[ MIC'S BIRTHDAY B A S H channel ]

Banoodle: fuck YEAH that was so good

Banoodle: and we actually got through all of it this time!!!!!!

Banoodle: and I got their playlist off one of the staff!!!!!!!!!

Chloroform: you were so excited for it

Banoodle: I'm gonna put them on a nostalgia playlist or something!!!!! It's all old songs from the last time we went, they update it sporadically but I got the WHOLE list!!!!!!!!!

HewwoKitty: I can see Shouta clutching his chest, this is endearing!!

Banoodle: HHHHhfbdns

Sonic: aw u shut him up gdi

Chloroform: yeah but he goes a stunning shade of red when he realises Shou is watching him ramble

Banoodle: shut Uuppppp!!!!!!!!

Banoodle: and he's on his phone too!!!! Maybe it's that!!!

Shamwow: no it's definitely you

Banoodle: FUCK

Sonic: hah gay

SlipNSlide: babe

Sonic: h

Chloroform: god we're just a bunch of gays making out way around town huh

Sonic: lmao u rite

Banoodle: hey babe why do you keep picking up random stones off the ground?

Shamwow: No reason

Sonic: oh my god he's gonna hurl them at my head killing me instantly

Ms.Mime: Hrhhdhdhd you're a laugh and a half tensei! Shouta couldn't hurt a fly!

Shamwow: I could hurt you

Ms.Mime: ;)

Chloroform: ;)

Shamwow: wow that's so rude of both of you.

HewwoKitty: you should've leaaaarrned! My girls are like that!

SlipNSlide: I'm,, pretty sure he can hurt more than a fly

Shamwow: hey crawler let's make an agreement you don't talk about some stuff

SlipNSlide: consider my lips sealed!

Banoodle: fishy!

Shamwow: it's nothing you don't know

Banoodle: I sure hope not!!

Chloroform: kinky?

Shamwow: not really

Shamwow: underground stuff.

HewwoKitty: understandable please be safe!

Sonic: the fact kouchi has met Shouta while he was working terrifies me on a personal level but is also deeply amusing!

SlipNSlide: Also nothing I can't handle!

SlipNSlide: and if I can't then I'll work on it :)

Sonic: tight turns,,,

SlipNSlide: tight turns!

Chloroform: a weirdly specific inside joke, can't believe you fuckers already have one

Sonic: bleeehhh like you don't have a million

Ms.Mime: maybe so…

Banoodle: BABE why are you grinning at a rock I'm a lil freaked

Shamwow: its name is Dwayne

Banoodle: I


Sonic: I'm gonna fucking die??????


HewwoKitty: he's gone, he lost it

Ms.Mime: D W A Y N E

Ms.Mime: babe(s) I'm SORRY I'm gonna have to marry Shouta REAL fast?????

Chloroform: I

Chloroform: Understandable be back before nine?

Banoodle: I've know Shouta for half my life and that was the LAST thing I expected him to say??????????????

Shamwow: last name Johnson

Banoodle: A A A A A A A A A A  A A AA A A A A A A A A A AA A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A  A A A  A A A A  A A A A A A A A A A  A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A  AA A A A A A A A A A A A A


[ Dad planning 2, birthday boogaloo channel ]

Shamwow: I got Dwayne

Space: AAAAA!!!!!


Xenomorph: THANKS DA D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shamwow: This has been a surreal day

Venonat: it's not even done yet

Shamwow: Can't wait.

Vulpix: Hey Aoyama, what the fuck is this?

FrenchSparkleParty: He said he wouldn't get caught again..

Vulpix: Well he did?

Vulpix: I just came to pick up presents?

FrenchSparkleParty: He's dropping stuff off for me~

FrenchSparkleParty: Well...

FrenchSparkleParty: For the class~ :)

Shamwow: Its Monoma isn't it

FrenchSparkleParty: It's a secret~

Shamwow: Aoyama.


FrenchSparkleParty: Fiiiiiinnnnneeee~~ you're all no fun at aaaalll

FrenchSparkleParty: Tell him I said he can show you!

Vulpix: Alright?

Shamwow: Aoyama, if this is something malicious I swear.

FrenchSparkleParty: Such doubt!

Vulpix: Oh no, its okay.

Vulpix: Aoyama out did himself.

FrenchSparkleParty: Contacts ;)

Shamwow: terrifying…

FrenchSparkleParty: You'll see tommorow~

BandaidArms: if Dwayne gets hurt we'll never forgive you Aoyama

BandaidArms: you're already on thin ice

FrenchSparkleParty: ✨😘

DeezWatts: for Dwayne…

Space: for Dwayne!!!!!!!

Xenomorph: FOR MY B O Y !

Shamwow: well I regret this

Chapter Text

Venonat: I would like to declare that my dad is a weak willed trick ass bitch

Whomst: which one?????

Pure: that doesn't sound very much like either of them..?

Venonat: they're disgustingly affectionate, and the functional stable family has been fun while it lasted, but if I see one more display of affection or mushy little 'hello sunshine' 'heya moonlight/starlight' exchange I'm going to DIE and move out

Xenomorph: hey op wtf do you mean that's a Beautiful interaction

Venonat: it's sickeningly sweet and I prefer my teeth I N T A C T 

Whomst: babe that's so cute you can't fuckin l e a v e 

BoomBoomPow: I'm???? That's weirdly affectionate of aizawa sensei idk if I'm comfortable fndndn

Space: just because!! He usually!!! Is Grumpy!!! Doesn't mean he can't be s o f t

BoomBoomPow: oh we have BEEN knew I'm just shook

DeezWatts: okay but I heard aizawa sensei really fondly tell mic sensei he looked like big bird and then that man just swooned into his arms?

Venonat: I hate them

Vulpix: cranky because you haven't been called any weird affection terms huh

Venonat: what weird terms have u been called h Uh?

Vulpix: hey broccoli babe what did you say to me yesterday? <3

Pure: you look like a half peeled babybel <3

Run™: He's not wrong

Venonat: I

DeezWatts: Awww Katsuki is this why u give us all weird nicknames u w u

Bakuslay: shut the FUCK up I will SNAP your pokémon sword and shield in HALF

DeezWatts: ;A;

DeezWatts: I'm WIPING my tears BC hhA jokes on yOu I have A SPARE

Bakuslay: o i how much fucking money have you spent on Pokémon

BandaidArms: don't do denki like this in the main channel Katsuki 😩

Xenomorph: hhngnggn I'll protect u denki

DeezWatts: y'all? Gods,,,

Cutieshima: Katsuki don't attack his livelihood bro!!! He needs it to survive!!

BoomBoomPow: Kirishima calling Baku his first name And bro in the same sentence is Peak Kiri energy

Cutieshima: bro ;(

Xenomorph: the bakusquad is fuckiyn gay

DeezWatts: no u!! Bitch!!!! Tf!!!

Xenomorph: god I know I'm a mess 😩

Bakuslay: you're ALL fucking messy

BandaidArms: and yet you love us >:)

Cutieshima: >:)


Pure: Kacchan!!! Admit your emotions! You have them!




Bakuslay: I will admit to nothing when they did what they did

DeezWatts ?????

BandaidArms: what did we d o

Bakuslay: not you fuckin idiots

Bakuslay: Iida, eijirou, asui, and mina

Cutieshima: fjdhsjs BRo

Xenomorph: IT WAS WORTH IT

Run™: Suddenly I Need To Leave Bakugou Please Inform Me Of Your Location

Bakuslay: I'm not fucking scared of you

Kewwo: lol

Bakuslay: they all fuckin hype danced on izuku's birthday

DeezWatts: OH LOL YEAH

DeezWatts: Iida's limbs went so FAST

Xenomorph: he HAS been practicing!!!

BandaidArms: 24/7 yeah,,,

Run™: :)

DeezWatts: wtf dude that's so threatening


[ Whoever took my Mac n Cheese better fess up -M channel ]

Oh?Vacuum?: Mic!!! How was your birthday?

Banoodle: Oh!! Good thank you ^v^

Banoodle: the kids had a party for me I'm 😩👌

Shamwow: aoyama scared the SHIT out of me and kan but he literally just got weird European shit imported and was acting shady about it

Fangboi: Monoma,,, is a chaotic force I apologize but also I don't 

Shamwow: The feeling is mutual with literally any of my students

Shamwow: Except the problem child, he's not mine to apologize for

Stronft: That's rude.

Shamwow: it's right

Stronft: anyway, Present Mic! I'm so glad your birthday was good :)

Shamwow: fucker

Stronft: :)

Banoodle: u w u thanks!!

Banoodle: It was tanabata so we had our fun and then walked around a little and experienced Hardcore Nostalgia before heading home

Chloroform: fjdhsjsnsb had our f u n

Stronft: Please.

Banoodle: you know EXACTLY what I meant u nasty lady

Chloroform: uwu

Sonic: it's cute y'all still go out for tanabata like every year even when it's Hizashi's birthday

Shamwow: it's a nice tradition and the kids enjoy it

Sonic: god I keep forgetting yall are old men and have kids now

Banoodle: Tensei you're older than Shouta younger than me 

Chloroform: THanks for reminding me Shouta is the baby of the group

Shamwow: see 

Shamwow: look what you've done Hizashi 

Banoodle: u are just a litle creecher u canmot help thise

Sonic: RIP peepee 😔

Banoodle: RIPeePee 😔

Chloroform: 😔

Shamwow: they were baby till the last.

Banoodle: so r u

Shamwow: I'm not dead

Banoodle: I'm glad!

Chloroform: or is he 🤔 does Shouta is dead?

Sonic: Shouta wya we gotta high five

Shamwow: we don't have to

Sonic: it's the almost died gang! Back at it again!

Stronft: I do not think these are things to high five about?

Sonic: and you Yagi!

Stronft: Oh no.

Shamwow: the others have had life threatening injuries too

Banoodle: not like u,,, losers

Chloroform: Hizashi sweetie we all know u can be petty and mean as fuck but not on these topics baby

Banoodle: hfh Ur right,,

Banoodle: and HEY I only had my neck almost cut ONCE

Shamwow: several windpipe scares but go off babe

Chloroform: lmao pro hero gaaaaang :')

Sonic: Our friendgroup went from chaos group to Licensed Chaos Group

Shamwow: a horrible decision really

Banoodle: the fools who gave us our licenses are all crying 

Stronft: You all terrify me.

Oh?Vacuum?: I think they're neat!


[ Direct Message –  Banoodle to Shamwow ] 

Banoodle: uhgghththgh I don't wanna do my show today :(

Shamwow: what's wrong?

Banoodle: No idea!!! I'm usually so hyped!!!!!! Something feels funky in a b a d way and it's harshing my vibe >:(

Shamwow: you've been a little jittery lately sunshine, are you nervous about anything?

Banoodle: I don't know!!!!!!

Banoodle: I'm just all in a funk!!! And there's nothing I should be worried about???

Shamwow: doesn't mean you can't get nervous

Shamwow: do you want to call out?

Banoodle: No!!!!!!!!

Banoodle: my pre recorded stuff won't FIT right tonight!!!!! And I don't wanna miss the station just because I feel weird!! I can always come home!!!!!

Banoodle: and I have a live Q&A today and the listeners were all so excited I can't disappoint them!!!!!!!

Shamwow: are you worried about that?

Banoodle: I

Banoodle: hm!!!

Banoodle: kind of????

Shamwow: alright, that's okay, good that you recognise it

Shamwow: you know your fans love you Hizashi, they take your health very seriously

Banoodle: all the more reason I don't want to disappoint them!!! They've been so supportive about everything I can't keep them waiting on a promise!!

Shamwow: Are you really really worried about letting them down?

Banoodle: I

Banoodle: Yes!!!

Banoodle: I'm going to go in today I just feel icky :(

Shamwow: okay

Shamwow: come home with me today after school

Banoodle: ??????

Shamwow: your marking is ahead and you know those lessons by heart

Shamwow:  I'll wash your hair out and braid it, alright?

Banoodle: !! Oh

Banoodle: Like we used to?

Shamwow: exactly

Banoodle: okay :)

Banoodle: Thank you shouta

Shamwow: of course

Shamwow: I'll make dinner

Banoodle: hnng I love u

Banoodle: I am Gay,,,

Shamwow: I sure hope so 

Banoodle: I literally h e a r d that cute fond smile u do in that sentence babe I'm soft as fuc k

Shamwow: hush,, and come to the classroom so we can leave together hizashi

Banoodle: okay!!!


[ Whoever took my Mac n Cheese better fess up -M channel ]

Banoodle: we talk enough ab me smh what about tensei's birthday this is so rude

Sonic: u were LITERALLY there bro?

Banoodle: but the others weren't u fool

Sonic: I mean it was the usual?? Y'all have heard about my birthdays before they don't rlly change

Chloroform: my personal favourite moment was watching Midoriya sweat nervously in the presence of like 50 pro heroes

Sonic: my little brother's boyfriend was flustered and that's honestly valid

Sonic: also Shouta drank like one glass of whatever the hell we were serving for adults and Todoroki pointed at him accusingly w/o saying anything 

Shamwow: I understood what he meant

Banoodle: is it bc u told them not to drink anything they didn't know was in it and then u turned around and asked what the punch was and then tensei's dad looked distressed for a moment and you said 'great' while pouring the glass? Is that it?

Shamwow: first of all, 

Sonic: tbh that's peak Shouta energy he's done that every year we've been allowed to drink there

Sonic: but it was nice having new company this time around 

Sonic: also funny hearing a/b Midoriya & his mom's birthdays, eyes emoji @ Yagi tbh

Stronft: I will end your bloodline :)

Sonic: lol like I needed the help w that dabs

Stronft: Honestly understandable.

Shamwow: You know all might had the audacity to tease me about Hizashi once? The audacity?

Shamwow: therefore I get one (1) shot at this man

Stronft: I regretfully concede?

Shamwow: great I'm handing my phone to Hitoshi

Stronft: Wait

Shamwow: me, pointing at Midoriya: gee Izuku how come you get two dads and a mom?


Chloroform: Oh shit Jdbksbska

Stronft: Yamada please take your son away from his father's device

Banoodle: no can do! I have my hands Full atm uwu

Fangboi: I hate this fuckin house

Shamwow: it's still the purble son ur chat is cursed and I will definitely harass u all for it

Cryptid: Understandable would you like to nap in my office upon occasion? Aizawa was quite fond of doing so in his youth

Chloroform: don't manipulate the good son principal, you and I both know Shouta napped where he pleased and ur office was the least dangerous place

Cryptid: Quite right! I do recall Recovery Girl specifically ensuring a bed was made for him after schools :^)

Shamwow: lmao what a disaster I'm kin

Banoodle: Hitoshi give him his phone back now dear

Shamwow: HIFHS how dare u use a term of endearment towards me thine only adopted son aside from the other son who's technically in ur custody

Sonic: wow this house really Is a nightmare!

Shamwow: dads making dinner rn

Banoodle: I am a bisexual fool--

Sonic: Ur a valid fool uwu

Banoodle: thanks bro uwu

Shamwow: idk if I like how u act like kiri n tetsu

Fangboi: Thank you for acknowledging it

Shamwow: np??? Anyway pops pls wrap up eris hair rn cause dads gonna go batshit if I see his DMS lol

Banoodle: no he won't he has about three ounces of shame and u seeing them is Ur own fault young man

Shamwow: shit my manipulation ;(

Shamwow: fr tho dad only has two hands

Shamwow: I think he's gonna use his scarf to grab a bottle wai

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle is now idle

Chloroform: the SPEED at which Hizashi left

Stronft: Is it not inappropriate for their sons to be able to access this chat?

Cryptid: It was discussed during the adoption process actually! 

Cryptid: Considering this client pertains no particularly sensitive information (as of right now), and they are more familiar with the teachers on a personal level due to their relations, it's perfectly fine for them to see this upon occasion. Both Yamada and Aizawa have set their own boundaries in place that we have ensured the children clearly understood. There are extenuating circumstances that allow any of them to access this channel, though they may also simply use their own clients, and if given permission by either adult they can use theirs as well. If any of the staff present take issue with this they should bring it up with me and I shall call both teachers in to properly discuss it.

Stronft: I see.

Chloroform: No one:

Chloroform: The Principal: I am 7 billion steps ahead of every single mere breath you take you fool, you mortal, you buffoon

Cryptid: :^)

Chloroform: Horrifying thank you sir!


[ "The bakusquad is gay as shit" - Katsuki in this year of g… channel ]

Xenomorph: I have been BUNDLING my materials y'all, absolutely Hoarding them!!!

Xenomorph: Jirou is my personal goddess for having Mic's show timings up to date and I am LIVING for it every Friday night

Space: the WiFi in the dorms cleared my skin and watered my crops, kept moist my frogs and gently peppered my face w kisses goodnight 😔

Kewwo: that's gay

Space: hon we've been dating for--

Kewwo: :P

BoomBoomPow: Present Mic is my personal God for doing his latest shows on Fridays 

BoomBoomPow: Present Mic really looked at the week and went 'this is a day some folks have off, I'll just make sure they can rest properly the next day if they stay up all night'

Kewwo: Could it have something to do with his own schedule? :?

FullfleshAlchemist: Oh!!! I know this one, Kyouka rambled about it for a few hours the other week it was very interesting!

BoomBoomPow: bAbe,,

Xenomorph: Lmao n e r d !

BoomBoomPow: by   e

FullfleshAlchemist: I thought it was rather endearing! I'm glad you have topics you are heavily interested in darling <3

BoomBoomPow: oh fuck I'm a lesbian <3

FullfleshAlchemist: But!! Mic-Sensei didn't actually initially plan his show around his own schedule, but rather when viewings would be most practical, as Kyouka said

FullfleshAlchemist: If Mic-Sensei does have Saturday off, then it's rather odd he's been sighted regularly patrolling on those days, not to mention his job at UA requiring he come in during the weekend for meetings, lesson planning, and the like.

FullfleshAlchemist: However his schedule has been known to be very flexible due to his several careers, and he's had to reschedule specified nights of his show for other content that he had pre-recorded if something comes up.

Xenomorph: ahaha y'all is that not low-key concerning?

FullfleshAlchemist: Whatever do you mean?

Xenomorph: When does he sleep???

FullfleshAlchemist: Oh

BoomBoomPow: honestly what did u think his tinted lenses were for 😔

BoomBoomPow: nothing more powerful than prescription shades to cover your eyebags

Space: Ah!! Several jobs can be kinda hard to juggle if you aren't super equipped for them but Mic-Sensei is very good!

Space: his desk is next to Aizawa-sensei's desk so I often see it, but he has several calendars and schedules tacked to his monitor

Space: Aizawa-sensei has something similar with our lesson planning, but Mic-Sensei has his patrol times down, the dates he's pre-booked, available,,, all sorts!

Space: I get worried he doesn't sleep sometimes too though ;(

Kewwo: He's married to Aizawa-sensei, I very much doubt that he would allow Yamada-Sensei to go several nights without some kind of rest. 

Whomst: Did you know they have a nap room?

Xenomorph: what those two?

Whomst: nah the whole school!!!

Whomst: it's prlly bc of Aizawa-sensei tbh BC it seems fit to him, but u know how HUGE the school is right??

Space: Yeah?

Whomst: so there's different floors for each year which is all p normal but they've basically got several teachers lounges too

Whomst: and I guess they converted one into a nap room or smthn BC it's got blackout curtains and a kettle and the couch is DECKED out in comforters and stuff

Whomst: there's even a locker in the corner of the room with pillows and stuff

FullfleshAlchemist: Oh! Yes I've had to enter there to find Aizawa-sensei upon occasion.

FullfleshAlchemist: It's rather nice there!

FullfleshAlchemist: Regardless, I'm sure Mic-Sensei is getting adequate sleep, 

Xenomorph: if not then we'll just have to eyes emoji @ the principal until he understands.

BoomBoomPow: What a terrifying offer

Space: Oh!!! Radio started!!! Mic'll be on in a few hours!!!

Xenomorph: FUCK yeah! 


[ It's been like 3 hours I will END yall for my Mac n Cheese -M channel ]

Banoodle: you ever seen Shouta with his sleeves rolled up and all his hair pulled into a messy bun while he fucking chugs down a pint? And there's just fierce determination in his eyes and easy looseness around his shoulders and he looks relaxed and fucking buzzed in this pleasant warm way? 

Banoodle: I have

Banoodle: and by proxy, that also means I've seen God.


Banoodle: GOD no it's my fourth full time profession

Fangboi: I am so fucking tired I think I'm physically turning into Eraserhead and I don't like it 

Fangboi: for several reasons

TCrews: Yamada's evil plan was to bother everyone about his husband at stupid times so much that they slowly just became clones of his husband for him to dote on

Banoodle: I've been fucking EXPOSED I'm out boys, rolling tf through UA before the security teams can get me

Fangboi: aren't you on air right now???

Banoodle: OH 

Banoodle: lol technically

Banoodle: ad break is my saving grace and the time I get to sweat nervously about the backgrounds of photos nemuri took

Chloroform: 😘~

Banoodle: u are an enabler, a fool, an instigator, you've caused me endless suffering while I have two hours left of my own show to attend to, how have you managed to be so infuriating and yet so godlike, this is hizashiphobia of the highest degree, I'm contacting my lawyers and I'll set them on you like hounds, I just wanna get through ONE set without you sending me hot pictures you took while you got us wasted as fuck, just one, literally a single set, please, the only thing worthwhile I have anymore is my prerecorded episodes for when I'm SICK is this payback for dragging your girlfriend onto the show? And we just laughed for like half an hour? Is it that? Are you spiting me like I spite god with my mere existence and the fashion DELIGHTS I bestow upon you? Was it the banana shorts? It was wasn't it. You're annoyed about the banana shorts

Chloroform: djgdjsjs hizashi oh my god

Chloroform: It's just funny

Banoodle: we'll see how funny it is when I go for drinks with Emi after work on the weekend and I spam u while Ur on patrol >:(

Chloroform: G o d please do~

Banoodle: NASTY ASS

Fangboi: I'm choosing to think this conversation isn't real

Banoodle: smh how has kan got the least chaotic relationship he's literally dating hound dog

Fangboi: I'd ask what that's supposed to mean but he's the guidance counselor and I saw him throw a child so I understand but I don't agree with your methods

Banoodle: s m h

Banoodle: Nedzu did this on purpose,, w the amount of couples in the teaching staff this is just rude 

Banoodle: You saw us pine my good sir!! You witnessed fifteen years of chaos and went 'Excellent I shall hire that with the most sadistic woman I know to be their friend and close colleague' and Honestly I'm not ungrateful but it's a LITTLE rude of u

Chloroform: djdhsj holy shit I didn't think a couple of pics would do u like this

Chloroform: Ur talking back to g o d

Cryptid: Yamada fears no mortal soul or anything higher! He poked young Bakugou in the forehead once and Yagi nearly cried :'^)

Fangboi: (that's a proud tear and I'm terrified)

Chloroform: Hizashi what have u Become where's Ur anxiety

Banoodle: have u ever been SO anxious u just stop caring and Ur limbs are like fjdnd fuck it lets Fortnite dance at 3am that'll do me BC I HAVE and I wore the most atrocious thing with it

Banoodle: costume confidence and coffee keeps me running and then when I get home I like to think ab all the ways three years ago could go wrong even though they've already passed

Banoodle: OOP the ad break is almost over, anyway, nem if u send me anymore of those I'm either going to kiss u or kill u so choose ur next step wisely

Chloroform: ;)))

Banoodle: Terrible!!! Stimky

Chapter Text

[That's A Funny Trick To Play On God –P.N :^) channel ]


Sonic: literally no one was talking

Fangboi: I already know where this is going and I'm getting a drink 

Chloroform: kin


[⚙️]TCrews: The Counter has been reset to 0. The server went 2 hours 25 minutes and 43 seconds without Mic mentioning his husband.

Banoodle: WHAT



Banoodle: THATS HIZ ASHIPHOBIA!!!!!!!!!!

Sonic: @ SlipNSlide I want to marry power loader

SlipNslide: I understand

Chloroform: dilf

Fangboi: please.

Chloroform: 😩💦💦💦

Fangboi: I hate this place I hate it I wish I could resign but I think Nedzu actually owns my soul now?

Cryptid: !UwU!

Fangboi: If this server gets leaked somehow I'm letting the record state I've never participated w this on main

Chloroform: I'm boutta get Hizashi to bust into ur dms

Fangboi: why mic

Chloroform: my man is weirdly good @ tech?



SlipNSlide: honestly I don't have time to look at this place even close to enough but when I do there's always something chaotic going on?

Sonic: I'm sorry bb,,, these r my friends,,,, I love them,,,,,, also u are invited to the wedding between me n power loader I would let u be best man but I told nem she could do it like fifteen years ago

SlipNSlide: not mic?

Sonic: no he wanted 2 DJ and also flower girl idk why but I respect his motives whatever they are

Chloroform: ngl I just wanted to be best man twice

Sonic: u were Shouta's 'best fam' wh

Chloroform: u were HIZASHIS don't test me slut

Sonic: babe she's calling me mean words

SlipNSlide: that woman holds more capability in her power stance than I do with a pen and a sheet of highschool mathematics I cannot help you?

Chloroform: shit you're not a maths gay this explains sm

SlipNSlide: who is a maths gay???

Sonic: UH

Sonic: M E ?

Sonic: yall this is so rude Hizashi stop running around trying to find ur mans he's on patrol n help me



Sonic: thank u I love numbers they r so sexy ahaaaa

SlipNSlide: I know what meme that is but seeing you type it didn't trigger a visceral reaction in me and that scares me the most!

Sonic: fjdbdjssbab bless

Sonic: also nemuri r u really still calling power loader a dilf,,,

Chloroform: he's a decade older than us,,, if the kids r allowed to call Some Of Us Certain Things I'm allowed 2 call maijima a dilf

Chloroform: also it's such a long running joke I can't just give in

SlipNSlide: I mean you could,,?

Chloroform: oh sweet sweet summer child

Chloroform: at some point I called him it so much he started responding to it out of habit alone

SlipNSlide: you terrify me 

Chloroform: 😘

Sonic: never forget,,,, nemuri walking into school first day of the teaching job,,, locking eyes w power loader's poor soul,,, yelling 'WHATS UP DILF ' and then being threatened w being dragged back to the conduct meeting

PebbleSkip: I still don't know how you got out of that?

Chloroform: funny story actually! Maijima saved my ass BC he's god 

Chloroform: literally sighed, put his head in his hands, walked over and went 'its an inside joke we have it's okay please don't hold this against her'

Chloroform: owe him my life 😔😔😔

SlipNSlide: I don't know why tensei knows that story & I don't think I want to know anymore but morbid interest is my one redeeming quality

Sonic: (u mean aside from ur cute face n Big Determined Energy and all the things I love ab u)

SlipNSlide: (I will cry)

Chloroform: (y'all gay as fuck)

Banoodle: (H A H)

Sonic: (shut the FUCK up Hizashi u dumb slut)

Chloroform: (lmao yeah Hizashi)

SlipNSlide: (***I am already crying)

Chloroform: anyway

Chloroform: tensei knows BC I asked him to come with me first day of teaching,, I needed a hand w/ some supplies and Hizashi was being a little bitch


Chloroform: it wasn't for u tho was it



Chloroform: @ Shamwow come collect your mans he's capstuck

SlipNSlide: that's my queue to leave before I get Hella intimidated I rksbsks

Sonic: aww okay!! I love you and I will see u later?

SlipNSlide: I'm still gonna DM you tensei

Sonic: SICK

Shamwow is no longer idle

SlipNSlide is now idle

Shamwow: did Hizashi get rufus' capslock stuck again

Fangboi: a g a i n with r u f u s ?

Shamwow: I refuse to explain

Fangboi: That feels reasonable.

Sonic: Absolutely no one:



Shamwow: he's been playing the same thing for so long I don't even register his words as yelling anymore

Shamwow: also please turn this off I'm ab to drop

Chloroform: wtf that's so concerning

Fangboi: ^?

Chloroform: unless u mean drop like slut drop in which case bust down

Sonic: 👀

Fangboi: I revoke my ^? 

Chloroform: lmao


Shamwow: Hizashi you've been bluetooth broadcasting nothing but thunderstorms for the last five hours

Fangboi: I

Sonic: damn my guy lasted five hours?

Chloroform: t h a t s w h a t s h e s a i d 

Sonic: A y e

Fangboi: I'm going to log off from my own conscious

Shamwow: wish that were me


Shamwow: I'm going to forcibly pass out on you


Banoodle is now offline

Sonic: okay now we reminisce ab him while he's gone

Sonic: here's my most sudden memory

Sonic: one time bc Hizashi is a nasty bitch he bought everyone ice-cream so he could spam the Lenny face irl @ Shouta and in the most baller move I've ever witnessed my man fully just bit into the scoop and chewed it

Shamwow: I did nothing wrong

Sonic: correct and I love you

Chloroform: incorrect but i love u anyway

Shamwow: was that the time Hizashi hit someone over the head with his old directional speaker hands when he was talking, or the incident without incident.

Sonic: bro

Sonic: u LITERALLY eat ice cream like that 24/7 there is no other time anymore

Shamwow: you ate an ice cream cone backwards don't even address me

Sonic: CRUNCH B4 U MUNCH????

Fangboi: I hate everything about this conversation

Banoodle is no longer idle

Banoodle: Y'ALL I found my backup private phone 😜😜😜 hear y'all were talking SHIT

Sonic: Hizashi that was so quick why didn't u do it do long ago skbdsj

Banoodle: BC I love rufus 😔

Sonic: valid

Shamwow: leave that phone alone or I will throw you into the sun

Chloroform: u r what u get thrown into 🤷

Banoodle: kdshjsjdjsjsjsj shouuttaaaaaa

Shamwow: I'll end you where you stand

Sonic: 👀

Fangboi: I'm going to regret asking this

Fangboi: but what's so important that he has to put the phone down

Shamwow: security things

Shamwow: also that's not a burner and he Knows it

Shamwow: zashi

Banoodle: I knooow I know I'm just teasing baby

Banoodle: this is the spare burner, the spare private is safe and sound where we put it before ✌️

Chloroform: w e ? 

Shamwow: no gods will save you midnight

Sonic: ;)))

Shamwow: you think I'll go easy on you?

Sonic: no but if I say enough stupid shit you'll give up on me and walk away uwu

Fangboi: I'm oddly glad there was a vague answer to my question but now I'm just confused again 

TCrews: Yamada had a situation with someone trying to hack into his phone previously due to some press related drama

TCrews: While UA's security on these specific channels is impeccable, there's a chance someone will try and crack through, so we arranged for heads of department to have separate private phones with important details on them completely off the grid

TCrews: the only reason I'm explaining this all right now to you is because everything I say will be deleted in a few hours including backup logs in the harddrive. We have some handy people in support.

Chloroform: UA be like: gotta protect present Mic's sexts 👁️👄👁️

Banoodle: First oF A L L--


TCrews: sure .


TCrews: you literally have several other people online

Banoodle: YEAH but they all bully me!!!

TCrews: and you think I won't.

Banoodle: D:

Sonic: love how we're the ones most active here, everyone else really out here doing their jobs n sit

TCrews: actually you're just the ones mainly using the general channel. They all tend to frequent their own individual group chats a little more.

Banoodle: B e t  R A Y A L !

Banoodle: I request the names of those who would betray me and leave me to this cruel and unusual punishment!

Shamwow: oop

TCrews: 👀

Banoodle: S H O U T A ? !

Shamwow: Suddenly, I'm destroying UA's harddrive

[⚙️]TCrews: Frequently visited chat names include (in no particular order) : "Alive but at What Cost" [Members: 4], "We about to smash them Nico Nico Neecaps (=^•ω•^=)" [Members: 5], "*Gay Pining Noises*" [Members: 7], "Days Present Mic Hasn't Slept: 4" [Members: 5], "KAMI BROKE THE FUCKING LAMP AGAIN AIZAWA SENSEI SEND H…" [Members: 30+], "I'm literally begging you fools, you idiots, you buffoo…" [Members: 13]

Banoodle: H E L L O ?


Chloroform: ThIs is so rude I'm only in like 4 of these

TCrews: that's most of them


Shamwow: Maijima walked into my life and ruined my friendships by exposing the dumbass groupchats I'm forced to moderate or die

Banoodle: I mean I know ab most of these existing buT WHATS THAT PRESENT MIC ONE S H O U T A

Shamwow: I'm feeling very attacked right now

TCrews: would you prefer I even the playing field is this Horrifyingly public private relationship you both have

Shamwow: a terrifying prospect 

Banoodle: ^^ jdgsjs pleaSE I talk so much literally EVERYWHERE

Sonic: skshska he really do

TCrews: :)

Banoodle: oh no

[⚙️]TCrews: Frequently visited chat names include (in no particular order) : "Thot Patrol" [Members: 7], "PYHUR SAID GAY RIGHTS" [Members: 50+], "🤠 YEEHAW SQUAD 🤠" [Members: 3], "*Gay Pining Noises*" [Members: 7], "Days Eraserhead Hasn't Slept (PROPERLY): 7" [Members: 5], "KAMI BROKE THE FUCKING LAMP AGAIN AIZAWA SENSEI SEND H…" [Members: 30+], "I'm literally begging you fools, you idiots, you buffoo…" [Members: 13]


Shamwow: you're criticising me for having a gc on the days you haven't slept and yet

Banoodle: kitten I 100% BET you we have the same people in those group chats it's just us doing the thing we did in highschool all over again

Chloroform: the circle of bullshit lives strong with y'all

Sonic: Bitch u have a Gc for Ur station???

Banoodle: OH YEAH

Banoodle: that's not on UA's network tho lol

Banoodle: I linked my accounts BC it's easier for them to contact me like that 👀

TCrews: also he had me and a techie student work on some of their servers

Banoodle: Also I had Higari and one of his kids help w the servers THANK UUUU

Sonic: the idea you and shouta don't have like 50 group chats outside of ur dms to be gay on confuses me

Sonic: I saw yall go from a texting conversation about cats to switching to the UA messenger about cross referencing class notes and then switch back????

Chloroform: what's wrong u never held 5 conversations at the same time w one person before?

Sonic: I mean not FIVE but???? 

TCrews: what, so you want me to reveal your frequent gcs too? 


Chloroform: I don't have anything to hide mr dilf sir so it takes all the fun out of it ;)

TCrews: she's right that's no fun

TCrews: anyway I expect both of you with the proper paperwork by tomorrow

Sonic: ????

Chloroform: Oh LMAO SPITE that explains it ily b

TCrews is now idle

Banoodle: HIGari really said 'fuck Eraserhead n present mic' and then l e ft

Shamwow: I literally am so tired I don't even know what forms he's on about

Banoodle: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

Banoodle: O H !

Banoodle: my desk lol

Banoodle: the stack I have w/ the pink tabs between them

Shamwow: shit I thought we did all the pink stacks?

Banoodle: must've forgot,,

Shamwow: what because you've gone 4 days without sleeping hopping between jobs?

Banoodle: you're no better :P

Banoodle: but also L m a o yeah we should

Banoodle: d o t h o s e

Chloroform: and then sleep.

Sonic: ^

Banoodle: okay fun idea, but like I have some stuff I need to get done at the station tonight so that it'll be ready for next week?

Shamwow: I legitimately had to reread that 

Sonic: oh br o I Know u didn't make a typo pls sleep

Chloroform: my dumbass boys, you're all my dumbass boys

Shamwow: I have a solution one moment

Banoodle: oh no! We're not! Doing your solutions again!!

Shamwow: your solutions suck a fat one Hizashi we're doing it my way this time

Chloroform: ok I know this isn't the best timing but like literally or

Shamwow: 🔪🔪🔪

Sonic: I don't know what Shouta's solution is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask

Shamwow: I'll give you a hint

Shamwow: it's going fucking apeshit. 

Banoodle: a a a a a aaAa a a  aa

Banoodle: okay FINE once 

Shamwow: s u r e once  

Shamwow: anyway

Shamwow is now idle

Banoodle: fuckn,,, illegal

Banoodle: WELL NOW THAT'S JUST RUDE OF U IM TRYING 2 BE MAD oH he's not in the gc lol bye

Banoodle is now idle

Fangboi: I just

Fangboi: I just want to say I have no idea what the fuck just happened. But I am scared

Fangboi: mostly of Higari's now seemingly endless power.

Chloroform: kinky ;)

Sonic: kskskdbsjjs

Fangboi: s i g h



DeezWatts: you know when you're procrastinating and u put off one main task for something on the side BC u find more joy in it or it's easier or u just r REALLY bad at doing that particular thing even tho u told urself you would sit down and do it and then u ended up doing the other thing instead 

DeezWatts: I feel like the thing being procrastinated on 😔

BandaidArms: Honestly mood?

Vulpix: careful there you're being a bad background character 

DeezWatts: YEAH but I feel like I'm being procrastinated by o t h e R background characters??? What's that horseshit about



DeezWatts: A G A I N ?

BandaidArms: dkdsjs again????

DeezWatts: one time he told me that if I messed up one of my assignments when I was doing okay on the others it'd be fine bc none of us were particularly protected by the plot???

DeezWatts: and then I asked him what the FUCK that means and he just looked at midoriya really focused and went 'we're just portable motivation packets' aND THEN HE WENT ALL BLANK FACED AND SHOOK HIS HEAD AND ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG LIKE I HADNT JUST EXPLAINED MY GRADE SUDDENLY DIPPING EVEN THO I WAS REVISING??

BandaidArms: bro,,,?

Vulpix: I don't remember that at all you must be misremembering 

DeezWatts: b r o,,


[ Direct Message – Vulpix to DeezWatts ]

Vulpix: be careful, you're a popular traitor choice according to The M a s s e s 

DeezWatts: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN??????????????

[ Error : DM Cannot Be Found ]




DeezWatts: u know what I'm gonna embrace this and just do what I want,,, fortnite dancing in class here we come t h e m as s es or whatever won't see so hah

BandaidArms: omg can I join you

DeezWatts: of COURSE babe ily

BandaidArms: swoons , ,, 

Vulpix: Fortnite dancing in the dark.

Vulpix is now idle

DeezWatts: sksjdhksbsjs

DeezWatts is now idle

BandaidArms is now idle

FrenchSparkleParty is no longer idle

FrenchSparkleParty: Looks into the camera ouo 

FrenchSparkleParty: (It's a secret.)

FrenchSparkleParty is now idle

Chapter Text

[ Direct Message – TCrews to Shamwow ] 

TCrews: you should be grateful I didn't include the other chat you're linked to through your burners

Shamwow: I'm sure I have no idea what you mean, did you want a coffee?

Shamwow: I saw Hatsume carrying an awful lot of sheet metal earlier.

TCrews: A coffee would probably be good

TCrews: Genuinely though

TCrews: Be careful, eraser. Don't get yourself caught up in so many dangerous things

Shamwow: it was just a couple of ribs earlier, we've all had worse

TCrews: still

TCrews: I'm not your mother, but I'd like to think I'm at least your friend

TCrews: You'd all better be careful around those lot.

Shamwow: We know

Shamwow: I have Detective Tsukauchi working on the same case as me if I need to blow a whistle.

TCrews: Iida might not be so happy if you do

Shamwow: Not a lot of people tend to be happy with me at the end of my work day

Shamwow: but we've talked about it already

TCrews: alright

TCrews: just don't get caught up in anything suspicious again

Shamwow: that was one time

Shamwow: and it was an undercover job

TCrews: well you were very efficient

TCrews: just stay safe, Chiyo will have your head otherwise

Shamwow: Pff probably

Shamwow: thanks for not sharing it though

Shamwow: it's still underground work.

TCrews: of course.

Shamwow: speaking of though, I do need to sever those burner links

TCrews: I'll get it done

Shamwow: I appreciate it


[ Grey Area Noises channel ]


SlipNSlide: you can just @ me Kazuho…

Soda: Doesn't have the same energy! Anyway!

Soda: I just got off the phone with Makoto!!!

SlipNSlide: oh sweet! How is she?

Soda: she's all good! Studying in New York defo seemed to do her some good , definitely grabbing new opportunities there 🤗

SlipNSlide: I'm glad! I'm sure Cap is benefitting from her being there too..

Soda: sksjdksbjs yeah! From what I can tell his scandals have gone down a lot when Makoto gets to talk to the press instead of him

Soda: anyway I'm baby and she wants us to add her new number to the chat but I 👀💦 she's gonna kill me

SlipNSlide: dksbsjs she's not going to kill you pop

Soda: You don't know that! What if she's been following the idol group stuff!

SlipNSlide: then she knows you guys are doing fine, what are you so worried about?

Soda: Makoto coming back to Japan and snitching us to her brother bc I didn't extend my leg far enough 😳

SlipNSlide: you're being irrational, I thought you were the smart one from the two of us

Soda: HEY! I AM!

Soda: but Makoto….

SlipNSlide: actually you know what that's fair


Soda: u really just said irrational 😩

SlipNSlide: ???

Soda: I knew I should've stopped you from leading all those villains to Eraserhead… look at what it's done to you! He's rubbing off on you!

SlipNSlide: he is not! He's terrifying!

Soda: dkdsmsm

Soda: Detective Tsukauchi be like 'dont associate w/ vigilantes they r illegal' and Eraserhead be like 'an I oop-- 😳'

SlipNSlide: please don't do this I see him on the weekends now 😩

Soda: omg how is he 😳😳😳

Soda: how r his broken ribs 😳😳😳😳😳

SlipNSlide: pop p l e a s e 

SlipNSlide: and his ribs are fine… 

Soda: good! I wanna kick ass with him next time! It's always u >:((

Soda: also how's present mic n midnight u see them too rite

Soda: bc I still low-key wanna shave that guy and midnight tooootally got what my hand signals meant

SlipNSlide: you literally pointed at his mustache and said 'no'

Soda: yeah!

SlipNSlide: they're fine

SlipNSlide: also I do not only fight with him!! I'm not the only one who ends up in his district!!! It's just none of you guys go through that way!!!

Soda: uh, , ,yEAH cause it's s e e e e d y

Soda: I'd love to but a gal like me ain't ab to hop skip and jump anywhere close to that 👀💦

Soda: also my nails, ,, think of them,,,

SlipNSlide: yeah well… some heroes aren't exactly patrolling there

Soda: we boutta 🏑 busta knee cap 👀?

SlipNSlide: NO!!! 

SlipNSlide: and why did you pick a hockey emoji???

Soda: They don't have a baseball! ✌️

Soda: but nah I wouldn't get their knees that'd end bad for me! >:I

SlipNSlide: Probably! And you've got your idol stuff to worry about

Soda: nah that's going fine (even if I'm sure Makoto will kill me)! We just have practice a lot 🤗

SlipNSlide: still, you're better with reconnaissance even if I'm more on the ground

SlipNSlide: you've got other work to do!

Soda: Me: smh why don't I fight more ;(

Soda: Also me: sksksksksk uve got a point ab how I got another job 👀💦

SlipNSlide: did you just sksksksk

Soda: ain't the point

SlipNSlide: I'd like to make it the point???

Soda: okay go off then

SlipNSlide: wait no I didn't mean like this

Soda: sjdbsksjs youre so CHAOTIC kouichi

SlipNSlide: I'm a dumbass!

Soda: yeah SAME

SlipNSlide: dumbass in spirit smart in brain you mean

Soda: this is flattery and I'll eat you! 🔪

SlipNSlide: well that's not very heroic

Soda: we're vigilantes Harold

Soda: sjshsj go back to TENSEI u dumbass

SlipNSlide: H

SlipNSlide: mAybE I wiLl


SlipNSlide: stop sksksking I'm begging you,,,

Soda: r u ever gonna let me meet ur infamous boyf

SlipNSlide: absolutely not fjdbsks


SlipNSlide: you'll tease me! And he's! Very private?

Soda: WOW that's the worst excuse I've heard in my life but okay I'll respekt that 👀

SlipNSlide: do you have to misspell certain words for the aesthetic

Soda: do we have to button smash all the time? No. But the aesthetic. 

SlipNSlide: I guess

Soda: anyway when r ur buddies gonna show up online I'm bored 😤

Soda: I did all my homework already and practice isn't on till next week bc the feathers have some fam stuff

SlipNSlide: okay, ,first off they're not my buddies I think they hate me 👀💦

SlipNSlide: they'd rlly prefer midnight coming over all the time but I guess they're eraserhead's buddies?

SlipNSlide: and I don't think we should want them online considering the business they do???

Soda: booooooo

Soda: they cover for u too much

Soda: no one:

Soda: you: omg,, , the crawler,, , ,he's so amazing uwu what a stand-up guy uwu make sure you spell it right it's c-r-a-w-l-e-r not hauler or cruller --

SlipNSlide: hdshjss aa A A A A A leave me aLone 

Soda: idk how Detective Tsukauchi hasn't caught onto u yet 

Soda: or he did and he's just a merciful God and hasn't talked to u yet

SlipNSlide: or Makoto is unleashing her younger sibling energy on him :/

Soda: probably that lol

bKVxXypt0V is no longer idle

bKVxXypt0V: why do you all never use this place and then suddenly begin to spam it.

SlipNSlide: uH

Soda: boooo step off! It's a group chat take part in it!

bKVxXypt0V: absolutely not

Soda: fine >:(

Soda: is the warehouse still off limits???

bKVxXypt0V: yes. 

bKVxXypt0V: the police aren't done with it, you'll tamper with evidence even if you don't mean to.

bKVxXypt0V: don't blow up another building.

SlipNSlide: that wasn't us!

Soda: no affiliation!!!

bKVxXypt0V: uh huh

bKVxXypt0V has left the chat

SlipNSlide: today on: eraser terrifies me on all levels including spiritual

Soda: dkshsja the building definitely wasn't us tho was it

SlipNSlide: no, but I thought I saw master nearby when it happened…

Soda: wouldn't put it past that old geezer to pull a stunt like that :/

SlipNSlide: yeah.. 

Soda: Oh well! Guess we'll have to take a patrol route around the other way today!

SlipNSlide: you wanna pick up taiyaki on the way back?